Photography Nightmares: What We’re Really Thinking

Photography / PotD

Photography Nightmares: What We’re Really Thinking

October 22, 2016

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don’t worry it’s not the end of the world. —Jay London

Photographers love most of our clients, but the nightmares come when unreasonable requests are made

We like you. We really, really like you. Photographers love their clients, especially repeat clients who keep coming back for portraits or other special imagery. We love clients who understand the value of what we do, who don’t keep needling us when it takes longer than expected to finish their pictures, and especially the ones who tell their friends that they need to use us as well. These are the people for whom we might consider bending the rules every once in a while, and for whom we’ll at least consider their more outrageous requests.

Then, there are the nightmares. These are the clients who are never satisfied with their pictures, the ones who question your quality, whether you even know what you’re doing, and claim that their four-year-old could do better. We stay up at night fearing the client who trashes us to their friends, but then comes back again and has the audacity to ask for a discount or special service that you don’t normally offer. These are not nice people.

Yet, as professionals, we are supposed to take the nightmares with a grain of salt, keep a smile on our face, and attempt to say no to their requests while re-directing them back to our stated policies. I was amused earlier this week when a sponsored article popped up in my Facebook newsfeed offering a chart with answers to the most common objections photographers face. The chart was created by Joy Vertz, a portrait photographer based in Mequon, Wisconsin. The advice she gives is solid. However …

What We Say Isn’t Always What We’re Thinking

Ms. Vertz is one of those lovely, positive, go-get-’em people who doesn’t take no for an answer. She smiles, redirects, restates, and closes the sale. She’s successful both in terms of her own photography business and also with helping other photographers who are struggling. I’ve never met her, but I’m sure she’s a wonderfully nice person who could sell a block of ice to a resident of the South Pole. Some people just have that right attitude for selling.

The rest of us, however, struggle with closing sales. Not all of us are natural-born salespeople. In fact, the more creative we are, the more difficult it can be for us to function in a business capacity. We work best when someone else handles all the sales closing stuff, leaving us to take the pictures and be creative and occasionally do some really amazing work. Dealing with anyone who is the slightest bit contrarian isn’t our strong point.

As I was reading through Ms. Vertz’s list of objections, I couldn’t help thinking, “Yes, that’s what you should say, but that’s not what I would be thinking.” I’m one of those people who does better when Kat closes the sale. She’s friendly, cheerful, and can keep a smile on her face even when talking to a complete idiot. I can’t. Stupid people make me want to throw things. So, I thought it might be fun, since it’s Saturday and if you’re reading this after 8:00 AM you’re probably not out shooting today, to consider what we would actually like to say to clients who cause us nightmares. The objections come from Ms. Vertz’s list. I don’t have time to address them all, but this should be enough to make my point.

You are too expensive. I can’t afford you.

Wrong. You don’t want to pay me for the value of my work. You want a discount. You always want a discount. Yet, you’ll pay $8 for that freakin’ latte you’re holding. You down what, three of those a day? I’m not too expensive, you just have really lousy priorities, are selfish, and fail to value anyone in the service industries. Go away. I don’t have time for you.

I just want a disk of images

Why? Because you want to share them online (which is fine if you’ve paid for the disc) or because you want to take them to the drug store and get really crappy prints instead of paying my prices? Or even worse, you’re not going to try printing them on your home inkjet, are you? After I’ve spent hours getting the tonal and color quality of your images just right, you’re going to ruin them by printing on some non-calibrated crappy little no-name printer you picked up at a garage sale? And then you’ll complain because the pictures don’t “look right.” Please.

Just put them online for us to look at

Damn, you’re lazy. If you think I’m going to wait around for months while you do everything but choose your proofs, you’re crazy. Make a decision already. Chances are you’re going to go with your first choice, anyway. Better yet, let me decide for you. You’re too distracted to pay attention to what you’re doing. You’re giving me a headache.

[By the way, Joy’s answer to this one is spot on: To have an online gallery is $500 which applies 100% to your order placed within 1 week. It is $25 for each additional week. ]

What is the cheapest way I can get an image for Facebook?

Take a fucking selfie like everyone else? Pay for a session and we’ll happily give you permission to use the finished photos online with appropriate credit. Re-edit the picture or fail to give credit, though, and I’m SO going to bitch. Okay, not really, but I’ll think bad thoughts about you and complain about you to my dog.

Can I see all the photos?

Uhm, no. Part of my job is to make you look good. You know, remove the blemishes from things like really bad acne, or removing those horrid dark circles from under your eyes because you don’t sleep, eat horribly, smoke like a fucking chimney, and drink three bottles of wine a night. You come here wanting me to make you look flawless and glamorous like a model. So no, I’m not showing you all the photos.

You don’t mind that I brought all of our cousins along, do you?

Uhm, YES! First of all, pull those kids off the props. This is not a fucking playground. Do I look like someone who has the patience of a preschool teacher? You do realize there’s no way I’m getting five toddlers all looking in the same direction at the same time, even if I had a puppy. I’m going to need half a bottle of scotch after we finish this one and you had damn well better buy the largest package we offer. Your child just peed on my carpet. I hate you.

We really love our clients.

Of course, we would never actually say any of those things to anyone’s face. We do our best to be polite and nice and not curse too much in front of children. At least two-thirds of our clients are really wonderful people. We enjoy working with them. However, we keep having nightmares. Every photographer I know has nightmares.

If you look on our home page, where we describe our services, we provide the instruction: Please be sure to communicate your needs fully to avoid any surprises. One of those surprises is that we will charge an additional fee to clients who are especially difficult. If someone is going to be a complete pain-in-the-ass, they’re going to pay for that experience.

Now you know what we’re thinking. Be a good client, not a nightmare. Thank you.

Advertising / Art / studio nudes / video

Waste Of A Perfectly Good Afternoon

October 21, 2016

How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness, how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? —Dr. Seuss

If we’re going to waste a perfectly good afternoon we might as well do it with something good

Friday afternoons are notorious time wasters. One is either rushing to get something done by the end of the day, or one is putting everything off until Monday. Oh, and then there are the Friday’s where one can’t get anything done because you need the approval of someone who decided to take the afternoon off. Never fails. Now, if you’re one of those people who should be rushing to meet a deadline, WHY ARE YOU READING THIS ARTICLE? Geeze, get back to work already! You’re holding up everyone else.

Now, if you’re one of those people who should be rushing to meet a deadline, WHY ARE YOU READING THIS ARTICLE? Geeze, get back to work already! You’re holding up everyone else.

For everyone else, however, I’m in the mood to waste some time and we might as well do it together. Only, I’ve already watched the videos below. If I hadn’t then I would be able to recommend them to you, would I? And since I was watching them specifically so that I could include them in this article, it wasn’t exactly wasting time on my part. We call that research.

Amazing how we justify things around here.

Anyway, I’ve chosen three short films that, combined, kills less than an hour of your afternoon. Go grab you a soda and maybe a chocolate bar. Tell everyone you’re doing research. Hey, it works for us.

This Is Supposed To Be A Commercial

A seven-minute long commercial? Really? I’m not sure exactly what the folks at Ford were thinking with this one. It certainly isn’t something that one is going to see one television, even late night. We’ve we’ve got here, though, is some incredibly creative writing. Not since Herbie, the Love Bug has a car played such an integral role in the telling of a story. You may need to watch it twice, though. The plot unfolds in such a way that only on the second viewing do you see all the hints that were dropped. And to the folks at Ford, you’re welcome.

https://youtu.be/QMTBTm30JR8

A Little Relationship Advice

This little thing was just uploaded a couple of days ago, but it has “award winner” written all over it. What happens when two people’s lives become so incredibly entangled in each other that separation becomes impossible? Is this why one shouldn’t go into business with a spouse or lover, or is this exactly why you should? This is an incredibly well-done piece with a few surprises slipped in along the way.

Think Of It As Art That Moves

I thought twice, actually three times before including this last one. First, it’s long, a little over 20 minutes. Second, I was concerned that it might only appear to those in the advertising industry. However, I think any creative person is going to find a lot here that is valuable. Discussion of design, white space, and NOT filling the frame are something anyone involved in the visual arts is going to appreciate. Plus, there is such a strong sense of history and nostalgia here, especially for people my age who areally are bored on a Friday afternoon and bummed that it’s too chilly to be out taking a walk.

That’s all you’re getting from me today. Kat said something about going “out.” Lock the door and turn off the lights if you’re the last one to leave, please. See you in the morning.

PotD / Social Commentary

I Think It’s About Forgiveness

October 21, 2016

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. —Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness is never easy, but it is forgiving ourselves that is perhaps the most difficult task of all.

Forgiveness is a challenging topic, and a rather sobering one for a Friday. Normally, I try to keep things a bit lighter as we head into the weekend, but my instinct, or my gut, or whatever you want to call that nagging voice in the back of my head tells me to go with it. We need forgiveness and we especially need to forgive ourselves.

This is important. I want my boys to see this not because of anything they’ve done but because, as humans, they will inevitably do something that lingers on their conscience. Forgiving ourselves is a lesson we are challenged to learn because we must first have a reason to learn it, and that reason is often painful.

Also, before we get too deep into the conversation, I want you to know that the examples I use here are intentionally fictional. I’m not throwing anyone under the bus, so to speak, and I’m certainly not inclined to make any great confessions of my own faults. Confession is good for the soul, but not for the Internet.

Let’s start, however, by taking a look at a new short film by the folks at Pixar. This isn’t the same fun, cheerful, feel-good type of film we usually see from the animation company. What we see here strikes a dark tone and, honestly, I’m not sure I would recommend it for young children unless you are ready, as a parent, to hold a serious conversation. The film runs a little over six minutes. Take a look:

Borrowed Time from Borrowed Time on Vimeo.

[This video source doesn’t always scale well for some mobile devices. If you’re having difficulty viewing the video, you can find the original on Vimeo]

We’ve All Been There, Sort Of

Borrowed Time is one of those poignant little films that one almost wishes were longer, but at the same time we’re rather glad it isn’t. Emotion that strong carried out for the length of a feature film would be difficult for a lot of people to handle. The short film is challenging enough. The producers behind the film wanted to quickly, briefly, drive home the point that it’s not only okay to forgive ourselves, but that forgiveness is necessary if we are to continue living.

We’ve been there. Okay, perhaps we didn’t accidentally kill our fathers as they clung desperately to the side of a cliff. We’ve done other things, though; things we shove to the back of our mind and try to not think about. Letting a dying aunt suffer in pain because you stole her Percoset. Beating up that little kid when you were eight-years-old because you were angry about being abused yourself. The night you let a drunk friend drive away and they killed someone with their car.

Those experiences, those moments of personal trauma, never really go away. You remember the look of pain, the pleading, in your victim’s eyes. Maybe you remember screams or cries for help. Or maybe you just remember the silence as you did nothing. We do our best to hide those memories. The past is the past. That all happened when you were young and didn’t know better. Yet, those pictures still haunt your mind. No one else in the world may know what you did, but you do. If you dare think about it very long you fear you’ll go mad.

Some Things We Can’t Fix

Recovery programs often include a step called “making amends,” doing something to make up for the wrong you’ve done in the past. The exercise is appropriate for some discrepancies, but there are some things we do, the really big things, that simply can’t be fixed, ever. Like the young man in the film, there’s no bringing his father back. We see the pain in his eyes, drawn beautifully by the Pixar animators, and know that he has replayed that scenario over and over in his mind, trying to find some way to fix it, looking for scenarios where his finger doesn’t find that trigger. There’s no changing what happened, though.

How do we get beyond this? How do we pick ourselves up and keep moving? For the man in the film, it was a matter of revisiting the site of that most horrible event, walking among the skeletons of dead horses and a decayed stage coach, feeling the desert wind, and finding his father’s watch. Everything happened in a neat package of six minutes. For most of us, however, forgiveness takes a little bit longer than six minutes.

Let me say right here that if you have a matter of guilt, justified or not, that is interrupting your life to a severe degree, seek professional help. You don’t have to do this on your own. Finding a path to forgiving yourself is not safe for everyone. If you’re prone to depression, have had thoughts of suicide or harming yourself, don’t address such emotional matters on your own. Don’t even try.

For the rest of us, though, there are multiple ways of finding your path to self-forgiveness.

Identifying What Really Happened

Memory is a tricky thing that loves to mix up the facts. The further removed we are from an event, the more likely it is that we are getting at least some of the facts wrong. This is why witness testimony is often unreliable. Our memories are easily influenced by external sources, including our dreams, and therefore unreliable.

So, before you continue beating yourself up over something, consider what actually happened. Get the facts straight. Try to understand what your motivations were at the time and how the circumstances participated in your action. Come to grips with the decisions you made and how the consequences of those decisions affected you and other people.

Only when we are totally honest with ourselves about what we did and why we did it can we begin to move forward. Again, this can be a very emotional and difficult step. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional help.

Mistakes Don’t Make You A Bad Person

There are few truly horrible people in the world. There are a lot of people whose actions are misunderstood and regrettable, but the number of genuinely murderous, maniacal beasts are actually small enough that you’re probably not among them. Unless you’re burying bodies in your backyard or somewhere, you have hope.

Society likes to label people and, especially throughout the 1980s and early 90s we, as a nation, were obsessed with labeling “bad guys.” The whole “three strikes” program that sentenced repeat felony offenders to life in jail, is a sad commentary of how quickly our society just gives up and throws people in the trash. The personal effect of that philosophy is that we become willing to throw ourselves away, also.

When you have someone tell you that YOU are valuable, they’re not just pandering to you. You are not a bad person. What you did might have been very wrong, but it does not rob you of your humanity. Even if you vote for the Republican nominee for President, as deplorable an act as that might prove to be, you are still not a bad person. You are capable of love and of being loved. Don’t every forget that.

You Can Start Over

Too many people feel that they cannot escape their pasts. Granted, sometimes making that jump is difficult. I can think of one acquaintance right now whose past is chasing him like a hound dog. He feels that he can’t catch a break because every time he turns around something he did in the past raises its ugly head and knocks him back down. When that happens you have but one move: start over.

Leave town. Change jobs. Go back to school and study something completely different. Select a radically different group of friends. Become someone who makes you proud. You can do it. This isn’t a new path that no one’s been down before. In fact, this path is so well-worn that it’s deep-rutted from use. Forgiveness means, at some level, shutting forever those doors to the past and making a conscious decision that you are moving on with your life.

Yes, starting over is scary. I get that. Again, we’ve been there. You can do it, though. You deserve this.

Learn From Your Mistakes

You’ve heard this advice before. Just as it applies to other less traumatic mistakes in our lives, it applies to the big stuff as well. Okay, so you totally blew it. Part of the forgiveness process is learning what to do differently so that we don’t make those mistakes again. Sure, we hope the circumstances that led to that error don’t re-occur. Part of learning may be knowing how to avoid the circumstances that put you in the position to do whatever you did wrong. Fate sometimes intervenes, however. You need to be ready.

Life throws us a lot of curves. We never know when a situation might arise that requires us to make a critical decision. One does not always have the luxury to sit and reason through the possibilities and possible consequences. When those moments come, it is our experiences that teach us how to respond. Those who have frequent mistakes in their lives are better equipped to know what not to do, which inherently puts them closer to the correct action.

What happened in the past can make you a better person today and into the future. We make better choices. We avoid dangerous circumstances. We are able to forgive ourselves and continue living.

Borrowed Time

Notice that I’ve not excused anyone’s behavior. The man in the short film was placed in a situation where any number of accidents could have occurred and a most horrible one did. Not everything bad that happens to us is an accident, though. When we intentionally make bad decisions there is no excuse.

What we must do instead is forgive. Not forget, mind you, but forgive. Forgiveness opens our souls, our consciousness so that we can move on and achieve great things. We diminish our potential when we bind ourselves with guilt. As humans, we are capable of truly amazing things when we remove all the obstacles that we place in front of ourselves. The process of forgiveness helps clear the way for us. We move on. The clock starts ticking again.

Time is elusive, though. Don’t wait. The longer we hold onto that guilt the tighter we bind ourselves.

Give yourself permission to live. Forgive.

Advertising / Photography / PotD / publishing

Paper’s Place In A Digital World

October 20, 2016

charles i. letbetter - paper is not dead

You can only generate ideas when you put pencil to paper, brush to canvas… when you actually do something physical. —Twyla Tharp

charles i. letbetter - paper's place in a digital world

We’ve been convinced that that world is going digital, but there’s still a place for paper that is larger than expected

I walk the dog every morning at 4:00 AM. Most mornings, it’s a nice, quiet stroll through the neighborhood. Everyone’s asleep. Well, almost everyone. Each morning, in about the same location, we pass a vehicle with its hazard lights flashing as the person on the passenger side flings copies of the Indianapolis Star out the window. The first time we encountered them I was rather surprised that there would be many people in this neighborhood who would still subscribe to the print edition of the newspaper. What I’ve learned since then is that no only do a lot of people subscribe to the print edition of the paper, they prefer it to the digital edition even on mornings like this where the paper is likely to be a bit soggy despite the plastic bag surrounding it.

Some fifteen or so years ago, a fair number of Americans, intelligent people who know how to reason and think critically, became enamored with and perhaps too easily accepted the idea that the future of all media lies in digital content and presentation. Everything was going to be online. The rush to do everything online was so great that many large businesses fell in its wake. Booksellers with hundreds of stores nationwide went out of business. Magazines with decades of experience either went online only or closed completely. The little film-developing kiosks that were once ubiquitous suddenly all disappeared. No more paper. Everything online.

What we’re beginning to realize, though, is that we still need paper.

Everyone’s Online Now, Aren’t They?

Those who make their living bringing companies and individuals online have long been evangelists for the digital movement and they have been very effective. Like the big tent Christian revivalists of the 20th century, they’ve made the rounds from company to company, boardroom to boardroom, warning that to remain with paper is certain death and that digital would be their economic salvation. Everyone drank the Kool-Aid. As a result, we are now seeing a shift at the top of corporations, especially in publishing fields. Consider some of the developments this week alone:

The New York Times named A. G. Sulzberger Deputy Publisher. No one was surprised. The paper has always been a family business and it is expected that the younger Sulzberger will eventually take over for his father and current publisher, Arthur Sulzberger, Jr. What made him the front-runner, though (two of his cousins were also considered for the job) was likely the fact that he chaired the team that, starting with their report in 2014, resulted in a complete digital transformation of the Grey Lady. The Times‘ seemingly successful shift to a digital-centric philosophy is seen as an example for other traditional media companies.
Condé Nast completely restructured its management team, placing everyone, including all publications, under the cooperative leadership of five executives. Jim Norton is now chief business officer, in charge of all revenue operations including sales, brand development, and consumer marketing. Edward Cudahy was promoted to chief technology officer, responsible for software engineering teams and tech operations. Anna Wintour was already artistic director over all Condé Nast publications, her success likely the motivation behind this recent set of consolidations. Christiane Mack is now head of content, strategy, and operations over all brands. Raul Martinez has been promoted to head of the creative group, leading both editorial creative and business-side creative as well as the company’s native advertising division 23 Stories. Critical to this re-alignment is an over-arching push to create better digital products across all brands. Pink slips for those who fall between the cracks could start going out as early as tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Time, Inc. announced yesterday that the UK edition of InStyle is closing its print edition and will be digital only by the first of the year. Again, more pink slips. The company is hoping that the move results in a 200 percent increase across all digital platforms by the end of 2017. They’re hoping that more video and 24-hour content management will be sufficient to accomplish their stated goals.
At the same time, the digital conversion of Style.com from a content site to an e-commerce site hasn’t been as smooth as the folks at Condé Nast would have liked. While the UK version launched earlier this year, the US version has lagged behind and still isn’t online. Luxury brands have yet to hop on board. The UK site’s mere 677,000 monthly hits is but a drop in the bucket compared to competitors such Yoox.com which boasts 9.8 million visits a month.

At a casual glance, it would appear that everyone’s sold on digital and there’s no significant market for paper.

But Wait, Not Everyone Wants Digital Content

With everyone rushing to jump online, some assumptions were made that, possibly, were not true. Primarily, print was declared prematurely dead. Paper, we were told, was out. Everything has to be online. That assumption, we’re finding out now, was not only premature, but very, very wrong.

The major piece of evidence in this argument is the paper, Reality Check: Multiplatform newspaper readership in the United States, 2007–2015 by Hsiang Iris Chyi & Ori Tenenboim, both from the University of Texas, Austin, School of Journalism. They make an indictment at the very beginning that is rather damning of this massive rush to kill paper and put everything on the web.

Results indicated that the (supposedly dying) print product still reaches far more readers than the (supposedly promising) digital product in these newspapers’ home markets, and this holds true across all age groups. In addition, these major newspapers’ online readership has shown little or no growth since 2007, and more than a half of them have seen a decline since 2011. The online edition contributes a relatively small number of online-only users to the combined readership in these newspapers’ home markets.

The same seems to hold true for those who declared that print books were deceased as well. Nielsen BookScan unit sales of print books rose 2.4 percent in 2014. Publisher’s Weekly reported earlier this year that bookstore sales for 2015 were up 2.5%, the first time that sector had seen an increase since 2007. Ebook sales actually declined, as did sales of book readers such as Amazon’s Kindle series.

Even in photography, where the push to put everything online has been nothing short of maddening, we’re seeing an increase in the number of articles such as this one (paid content by Canon) that tout the revenue advantages of selling prints, not digital images. Some even claim to be making half a billion dollars off print sales, though careful research finds that those claims are likely exagerated—by a lot. Still, the point is that the financial benefits of being exclusively online, or even predominantly digital, are quite possible overstated. Paper is far from dead.

How Is That Even Possible?

For starters, let’s consider the fact that, believe it or not, everyone in the United States does not have access to the Internet. Some 20% of American households are not “plugged in” in any way. Think globally, and that number jumps to a whopping 56%, over 4 billion people, without Internet. That means there are millions of Americans and billions of people around the world who are wholly dependent on print publications for their information.

Even beyond those numbers is the fact that a lot of people, especially those over 50 who were not raised with computer monitors in front of their faces all the time, don’t like reading material online. While Baby Boomers are no longer the largest generation on the planet, they are still extremely significant and, more than anything, set in their ways. We grew up reading printed newspapers and magazines and we like it that way. For many people my age and older, trying to read an article online actually hurts our eyes, especially when we’re looking at black letters on a white background. Paper doesn’t hurt our eyes the way those white pixels do.

Rural residents tend to prefer printed publications for local news, especially. Smaller cities and towns (anything under 500,000 population) are less served by online sources. Those communities are heavily reliant on the print edition of their local newspapers, even though, in most cases, an online edition is available. Local news is perceived as being easier to find in a print paper and keeps subscriber numbers at least steady. Eugene, Oregon’s Register-Guard is a good example of a local newspaper that is more valued for its print edition than its online presence.

There is also some evidence that those who would be considered under-educated, immigrants for whom English is a second language, those whose Internet access is limited to public-use facilities such as libraries all prefer print publications as their primary source of information.

Paper is so very far from dead.

Striking The Right Balance

For many publications, regardless of size, and for photographers and other visual artists as well, the argument between online and print often comes down to a matter of finances. Newspapers, especially, have seen a steady decline in print advertising. Ad agencies, and in some cases the publications themselves, have convinced advertisers that their ads get more views and a wider spread online than they do in print. That statement is not necessarily untrue.

However, the online concept is challenged when one considers the low conversion rate for online ads. We are all so horribly inundated with ads online that we ignore the vast number of them, even when they are for items for which we might have already expressed a need or want. Have you noticed that grocery stores still send their bulk mail ads on newsprint to your mailbox every week? There’s a good reason. People are more likely to shop at the store after seeing the ads in print versus viewing them online. Online advertisers have to generate hundreds of thousands of more views to generate an equal conversion rate to print ads. For many advertisers, especially small-market advertisers, print makes a lot more sense.

No one, from the New York Times to Joe Schmoe photography, is wise going with a single media solution. There’s no question that digital media is a powerhouse that everyone needs to embrace in some form or fashion. A well-designed website is still a must for every business and even more for anyone involved in any form of publishing. However, whether we’re talking about newspapers or photographs, there is still a tremendous need and market for print products. Where we need to focus more of our effort is in finding that balance that works both from a financial and customer service perspective.

Paper is far from dead. Chances are, if you glance around and see the clutter on your desk, most of that clutter is paper. We need paper a lot more than we think. Digital assistants such as Siri and Cortana are a long way from replacing Post-It notes. Even when I sign up for digital payment with my health insurance, they still send me three sheets of paper to confirm that the payment was received.

Perhaps we need to take a giant step back and reconsider our strategies. Paper is not an enemy. Ignoring it ignores a large number of customers, which means we’re leaving money on the table. I don’t know anyone who can afford that kind of strategy.

Art / Current Issues

Missing The World Summit On Arts & Culture

October 19, 2016

Our culture is more shaped by the arts and humanities than it often is by politics. —Jim Leach

charles i. letbetter - missing the world summit for arts & culture

Global discussions of arts and culture are taking place and the US is largely sitting on the sidelines

There is a conference taking place in Malta right now involving arts and culture organizations from all over the world. The World Summit On Arts And Culture includes participants from every populated continent, people dedicated wholly to preserving the future of the arts and the cultures they represent. Interestingly enough, this is one international program where the United States is sitting mostly on the sidelines. Yes, National Endowment for the Arts chairperson Jane Chu did speak this morning, but the only other American organization on the very full speaking schedule is Robert Lynch, CEO of Americans for the Arts late tomorrow. The conversation is very diverse with points of view from places whose cultures and arts have long been overlooked by the Western arts community.

From the summit’s website:

The focus of the 2016 World Summit on Arts and Culture, will be on Cultural Leadership in the 21st Century. The arts and culture can be considered to be at a crossroads – faced with many challenges and opportunities at the global, national and local level such as: the impact of new technologies on the production and distribution of cultural goods and services; threats to global security; new patterns of migration; changing contexts at the national level including austerity measures and continuous requests for reform; aspirations from artists and culture operators to extend their impact and outreach to other sectors, while also struggling to guarantee freedom of expression and ensure cultural diversity.

Relying On The Voice Of Others

I really can’t comment too terribly much beyond this point because I’M NOT THERE! Sigh. No one ever wants to send me to the fun stuff. I could volunteer to be shot at and be accepted right away, but offer to be involved in conversations about how photography factors in arts and especially non-Western cultures and nooooo, I’m still sitting here at home. Fortunately, though, those who are participating have been very active on social media, especially Twitter. There is also a discussion paper that covers many of the issues addressed today and tomorrow. The paper’s quite academic so you’ll most likely need to give it multiple reads. However, there are some gems from that document that are well worth quoting here.

… the cultural leader is an agent of change who contributes to cultural development in their country, Discussion Paper 21 Ayeta Anne Wangusa region or continent. The cultural leader does this through visioning and building relations with partners to address systemic challenges resulting from our colonial history and the current globalisation era. It is also about conserving our intangible heritage for posterity, as well analysing the underlying belief systems of Africa and their interaction with the Global North and Global South, to promote social cohesion and sustainable development. —Ayeta Anne Wangusa, Executive Director of Culture and Development East Africa (CDEA)

What is urgently needed today is leadership which promotes dialogue for new governance, collaboration and coproduction endeavors with civil society and cultural movements. —Lucina Jimenez, Director General of ConArte Internacional

Voices Not Expected

One of the areas we tend to dismiss when discussing arts and culture is the Middle East. We do so out of great ignorance. The regions where war is most commonplace are also homes to great troves of artistic and cultural importance that have influenced artists, writers, playwrights, and politicians for centuries. Many of these artifacts have been recently destroyed and preserving them seems almost impossible. I found these statements from the discussion paper most interesting.

I n Arab cultural scenes with no or overpowering art infrastructures, small and short circuit networks formulate; friendships sustain some of the bonding. Within these networks, collaborations force themselves on individuals; time is limited, shifting dramatically, and so are the identified resources, therefore sharing or teaming up allows being in and outside of a production process. There is no continuity for those who fall out of these processes. Personal, or collaborative, collections of notes, writings, ephemera, accesses, experiences and interests in miniscule histories are the sites of intervention. There is still a huge discrepancy in sustaining rights; to access, to copy, to say, to stay, to object, to reject, to exit.

…

A cultural leader is not a state, but its policy; is not an institution but its dynamic; is not a community, but its bond; is not a social (media) space, not a financial model, nor a future built by forecasts, but their logic of probabilities, that could continue to enhance our working models. —Ala Younis is an artist, trained as an architect in Amman.

Wait, There’s More

The discussion paper is quite full of perspective that should yank us from thinking exclusively about local perspectives and open our conversations more to immigrants bringing their culture and artistic perspective to us. Consider these examples:

In Asian cultures there is a long tradition of artistic creativity as communal, rather than the individual specialist called artist, and in many Asian societies there is no word for artist.

…

Lopsided emphasis on left brain thinking stunts creative imagination. It is unfortunate that many Asian countries inherited educational systems from the industrial revolution of eighteenth century.

…

Cultural leadership, especially in education and official policy, should be able to promote not only the intelligence quotient, but intuitive, creative intelligence and all other intelligences that enrich the creative imagination. —Felipe M. De Leon, Jr., Chairman and Commissioner for the Arts of the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, in the Philippines

Cultural leadership is not only the implementation of concepts and theories from the business world into the cultural sector, but – like the concepts of cultural management and cultural entrepreneurship – it has also to do with the creation of social value by artists and organisations and how to balance managerial effectiveness with artistic value for society.

…

Regardless of how and where these challenges emerge, indisputably leaders will be required for the cultural sector. The cultural sector now has little choice but to respond: the present challenges of new media, changing audiences, dwindling public funds, and a decline of historical awareness are merely the next steps in this continuing pathway. —Annick Schramme, President of ENCATC, the European Network on Cultural Management and Cultural Policy

What I’m Missing

While justing being in Malta this time of year would be nice, what I’m missing are the voices of incredibly talented and intelligent people as they discuss ways to make sure the arts and culture continue to develop throughout the century in the face of numerous obstacles. Participants posting from Twitter give us just a taste of those conversations.

You have to be an activist to become a political artist. – Chandraguptha Thenuwara on #fake political art #artsummitmalta

— Perduta Gente (@PerdutaGente) October 19, 2016

Kelli McClusky: Self-censorship happens all the time. Especially when funding is cut without reason or sedition laws enacted #artsummitmalta

— Esther Anatolitis (@_esther) October 19, 2016

Do artistic interests drive this agenda, or are arts & culture being instrumentalised to achieve other goals? #ASEFculture #artsummitmalta

— ASEF Culture360 (@culture360_asef) October 19, 2016

Yvonne Donders: I believe in the universality of human rights but not the uniformity of human rights. Dignity with diversity #artsummitmalta

— Esther Anatolitis (@_esther) October 19, 2016

“She was so poor she didn’t have anything more than money” @SergioMautone #artsummitmalta

— Lucy Hannah (@LucyHannah19) October 19, 2016

I could, of course, go on and on and on. You wouldn’t read them if I did, though. If you’re interested in more, search #artsummitmalta for current tweets coming from the summit.

We have thousands of arts organizations scattered across the US, most of which do absolutely incredible work. We need these larger conversations, though. Art and cutlture is not merely a local experience, but a global one. The questions and challenges are universal. We need to grab hold of these conversations and push them forward.

And maybe next year I can hid aboard a tramp steamer or something and actually participate.

Photography / PotD / science

Being Alive, Right Now, Is Challenging

October 19, 2016

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. —Marcus Aurelius

charles i. letbetter - being alive, right now, is the best

We already have more advantages, more options, than any other generation to inhabit this planet. Maybe we should take advantage of that

I hesitate to write anything sounding too terribly positive. While I want to be encouraging and supportive, every time I do it seems to backfire on me and I have the worst day possible. There are times one might get the impression that the universe is saying, “How DARE you be positive and hopeful? You must be punished for your remarks.” I know I’m not alone. Many days we wake up and absolutely nothing we do goes as planned. Flat tires. Disappointing people. Failed expectations. A stain on your new shirt—before noon. I’m not really expecting today to be any different.

I finally got around to reading President Obama’s article in Wired this morning, though. He presents a rather challenging premise:

We are far better equipped to take on the challenges we face than ever before. I know that might sound at odds with what we see and hear these days in the cacophony of cable news and social media. But the next time you’re bombarded with over-the-top claims about how our country is doomed or the world is coming apart at the seams, brush off the cynics and fearmongers. Because the truth is, if you had to choose any time in the course of human history to be alive, you’d choose this one. Right here in America, right now.

Do I want to believe the President? Sure. Intellectually, the points he makes are valid. What we actually experience is often different, though.

A Matter Of Perspective

When discussing how things have improved over the years, the President makes some compelling points:

Life expectancy is up.
The share of Americans with a college education is up too.
Tens of millions of Americans recently gained the security of health insurance.
Blacks and Latinos have risen up the ranks to lead our businesses and communities.
Women are a larger part of our workforce and are earning more money.
Once-quiet factories are alive again
More countries know democracy.
More kids are going to school.
A smaller share of humans know chronic hunger or live in extreme poverty.
In nearly two dozen countries—including our own—people now have the freedom to marry whomever they love.

I can’t and wouldn’t want to argue any of those points. Some tremendous strides have taken place over the past several years and, combined, they have made life on this planet better than many of our parents and grandparents could have ever dreamed. Tremendous advantages and opportunities make this a great time to be alive.

At the same time, however, being alive right now, in 2016, holds some pretty significant challenges.

Unjust and disproportionate incarceration of people of color
Police violence against unarmed citizens has reached a breaking point
Corporate takeover of the political system has turned us into an oligarchy
The gap between the richest one percent and everyone else is wider than ever
Family revenue has either stayed flat or declined while inflation has soared
A record number of adults have been unemployed for over six months with increasingly fewer prospects.
Native peoples are still the most disenfranchised group and their property rights are not respected.

We’ve made progress, but we’re a long way from being where we should, where we want, and where we need to be.

Looking To The Future

Taking an honest assessment of where we are right now, what it means to be alive in 2016, is both sobering and hopeful. We’ve gotten some things right, but there is still much to do. President Obama refers frequently to the late Gene Roddenberry’s Star Trek science fiction franchise as an example of an ideal society:

What I loved about it was its optimism, the fundamental belief at its core that the people on this planet, for all our varied backgrounds and outward differences, could come together to build a better tomorrow.

While such optimism is laudable, it is difficult to anticipate we are anywhere near that ideal when one of the top headlines this morning reads: Russia may be getting ready ‘to level Aleppo to the ground’ While those of us in the United States might be in a cooperative mood, the same can hardly be said of the rest of the world. Uhm, Brexit, anyone? The current mood seems to be that everyone wants to do their own thing. Cooperation will just have to wait.

Looking to the future, though, we have to have some degree of optimism, don’t we? If we can’t find any points of hope, any signs of encouragement, any indication that things might improve, then what is it going to mean to be alive in 2020 and beyond?

I’m sitting here this morning wondering what the future of photography is going to look like. Will any of us manage to stay in business through another ten years of rapid change? We not only face technological advancements that are impossible to predict, but we are also experiencing a complete upheaval in how people view photography altogether. Is it possible for our profession to survive?

What Science May Yield

The President is sold on the concepts of Science in solving the greatest challenges facing the world. His take is that one of the reasons now is a great time to be alive is because science is poised to develop new solutions to problems that have plagued us for centuries. He writes in the article:

Just as in the past, to clear these hurdles we’re going to need everyone—policy makers and community leaders, teachers and workers and grassroots activists, presidents and soon-to-be-former presidents. And to accelerate that change, we need science. We need researchers and academics and engineers; programmers, surgeons, and botanists. And most important, we need not only the folks at MIT or Stanford or the NIH but also the mom in West Virginia tinkering with a 3-D printer, the girl on the South Side of Chicago learning to code, the dreamer in San Antonio seeking investors for his new app, the dad in North Dakota learning new skills so he can help lead the green revolution.

So, the answer to our challenges is that we need to re-conceptualize? I love the President’s optimism, but when I’m sitting here worried about keeping the lights on and having enough food for my family, it’s rather difficult for me to re-conceptualize anything much beyond how to find yet another way to make ground beef interesting. I’m not even sure what it would mean to reconceptualize photography. I try wrapping my head around that question and end up having to take a couple of pills and lie down for a moment.

Alive And Functioning

I am thankful for all the advantages that come with being alive right now. I’m thankful that we have this thing called the Internet that allows me to share with you both my words and my pictures. I’m thankful that life has improved for whole groups of people and that there are almost endless opportunities for my children.

Still, there is more to live than just being alive. For life to be fulfilling we must also be functioning toward some end.

My AARP card came in the mail yesterday. I am of an age where many of my peers are enjoying grandchildren and looking forward to the joys of retirement. Not all of us are there, though. Many of us look at the potential demise of our careers and wonder how we are going to continue to function in this science-oriented future. We can try to keep up, but doing so is a struggle. We don’t especially have a lot of money to spend on new equipment, or classes to teach us what Millennials inherently know.

Did you catch that line in the President’s statement about “soon-to-be-former presidents?” President Obama is breaking with tradition and remaining in Washington, D.C. after the new president takes office. Rather than running away and retreating in quiet and solitude, as Presidents before him have done, Mr. Obama plans to stay active and stay involved in helping shape the future development of the world.

Maybe we can do the same. Stay active. Stay involved. Don’t let ourselves be pushed aside, relegated to some memory of how things used to be. We are alive now. Therefore, we need to be an integral part of what is happening now.

Will we?

Art / PotD

Color In Life As In Pictures

October 18, 2016

Oh, half of what’s out there is worthless. The only pictures I like are the ones I’ve taken. —William Eggleston

charles i. letbetter - color in life and pictures

What color brings to pictures is the same thing it brings to life: excitement, variance, and a different way of seeing things

I had difficulty choosing pictures to go with this article. I just finished reading the New York Times interview with William Eggleston that was published yesterday. Times writer Augusten Burroughs calls Eggleston, “The pioneer of color photography.” I’ve also heard of him referred to as the godfather of color photography. Whichever title one chooses to use, the man has done a lot to further color photography. So, choosing images that really match that topic involved a mental argument as to exactly what color photography represents.

Being brutally honest, I’ve not always been the world’s biggest Eggleston fan. I’ve seen the images from his 1976 exhibit at the New York Museum of Modern Art, which the article casually glosses over with little more than a side mention. I understand why critics at the time weren’t impressed. Eggleston’s work has, at times, been the sort that one looks at after a few years and thinks, “Oh, now I get it.” Just casually browsing through his images without taking the time to understand them can, depending on one’s level of photographic comprehension, leave one disappointed and unimpressed.

What Eggleston’s work did, though, was bring color photography legitimacy in a world that was stuck looking at things in black and white. As color film and processing changed over the years, color pictures changed our perspective of life. We were forced to look at things differently, something that a lot of people don’t find comfortable.

The Color Of Emotion

Photographers who have never shot film, and there are millions who haven’t, don’t understand the challenge of having to choose whether to shoot in color or black and white. Digital cameras inherently take color pictures. Even if one has a camera with a black and white setting [which is never a good idea, in my opinion], the sensor still “sees” in color and then makes the conversion. When using film, though, one has to make a decision before the pictures are taken, often before one even stops onto the set. Sitting in art meetings over the years, whether to use color or black and white film was almost always one of the first arguments the team would face. Opinions both directions tend to be strong.

Critical to this discussion is understanding that color changes the emotion of pictures. If I were to set two pictures side-by-side, one color, one black-and-white, your opinion hinges not on different qualities of processing, but on how the different images make you feel. Consider the image at the top of this page. Here it is processed in black and white:

Emulated Fomapan film with LAB processing

The question is not whether one version is better than the other; both have their distinctive qualities. What matters is which version best communicates the emotion I was attempting to capture with the image. In this case, I prefer color if for no other reason than the striking contrast of red blood in the water.That aspect is so muted in the black and white version that one might miss it entirely if just casually glancing at the photo.

One can argue that either version of the picture is better than the other and be technically correct. Are we shooting merely for technicalities, though, or are we taking pictures that allow people to feel something? When we choose color, we make a choice in how we want to direct viewers’ emotions.

Color In A Black And White World

Because photography started out monochrome, there have been, and always will be, those who are strongly adamant that black and white is the only legitimate format for professional photographs. The Times article makes that point when the author asks Eggleston what he thinks of Ansel Adams. Eggleston replied:

We didn’t know each other, but if we did, I’d tell him the same thing: “I hate your work.”

The sentiment runs both directions, though. The article recounts a conversation between Eggleston and renowned photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson in which the latter tells the former, “You know, William, color is bull shit.”

Not everyone wants to see the world in color. Not everyone wants to feel the emotions and challenges that color brings to pictures. Black and white gets straight to the point, emphasizes the facts, and allows some things to become lost in the shadows. We all know people who are the same way. The rules are the rules and either one follows them or they don’t. People who view the world in black and white tend to be very precise in their judgments, they appreciate the clarity of strong, well-defined lines and the clean contrast that black and white affords.

Color brings more freedom to the world, and to imagery. Color opens up possibilities that maybe the rules are bendable, or not necessary at all. Color lets us see what’s lurking in the shadows, enjoy the subtle gradients of light, and feel the warmth, or the coldness, of an image. You almost certainly know people who are colorful, who take chances without regard to the consequences, who explore beyond traditional boundaries, and are very open about how they feel. Their emotions are obvious and their communication often louder than we might appreciate.

Analysis Paralysis

If I have a favorite quote from the article, and Eggleston provided plenty of good ones to save for the archives, it would be this one regarding critical discussion of his work:

The only thing one can do is really look at the damn things. It’s just not making much sense to talk about them.

We are guilty, far too often, of analyzing both photographs and life to the point that they begin to lose any meaning. We too often need to justify our reasons for either liking or not liking a photograph, or a situation, or even a person. Some of us are color people. Some of us are black and white. And there are many who cross back and forth, constantly wrestling with the emotional and visual exchanges between the two.

I’ve no problem admitting that I am of the latter camp. I find pleasure in both forms of photography and both forms of people. While mixing the two doesn’t always work, I would hate to live in a world where either one fails to exist. What Eggleston’s work teaches us, if anything, is that we need both. One might be more appropriate for a given situation, but fundamentally neither is better than the other. They are, simply, different, and that difference is wonderful.

Life is the same way, is it not? The sooner we accept that both color and monochrome has value, perhaps then we can get on about the business of loving and caring for each other rather than this stupid arguing we’ve been doing. We’ve not been making much sense with our petty picking and fussing. Enjoy the pictures of life. We’ll all be better for it.

pop culture / PotD

Signs We’re Doing Everything Wrong

October 17, 2016

charles i. letbetter - signs we are doing everything wrong

Any form of over-indulgence creates within the body warning signs of destruction. —Mother Angelica

charles i. letbetter - signs we're doing everything wrong

Judging from the warning signs on headlines this morning we must be doing everything wrong.

Erg. Another Monday. Looking through social media this morning I can sense the fear and trepidation. Signs are everywhere. No one is looking forward to today. Some people could lose their jobs. Other people might lose more. While there’s no way to tell exactly what the day might hold, all the signs point toward this being a less than stellar day.

I like to think that what comes across my social media feeds is a pretty broad and reasonably accurate feeling for what is resonating across America. Obviously, I’m getting a lot of political material, but there are a lot of other things, from memes to articles to status updates, that give me a reasonable snapshot for the general mood of certain demographic sets. The signs this morning seem obvious: We’re doing everything wrong, or at least, we’re willing to believe we are.

Personally, I rather doubt that reality is quite as bleak as it is being presented. When shown a picture of a bright, sunshine-filled day, there are a lot of us that immediately start looking for what is in the shadows. We go looking for trouble even where there is none. We expect things to go poorly for us. In doing so, we miss the beauty of the whole picture.

However, we do have a tendency to really mess up a lot. Fortunately, a lot of people have written a lot of articles to help us correct our mistakes. Consider some of the gems I found this morning.

This Is How You Should Be Taking Care Of Your Lingerie

Spoiler alert: You’re washing your bras too damn often. The whole purpose of the article, published by Harpers Bazaar, Australe, is to convince their readers that they need to be a little more delicate with their delicates. Apparently, while women are really good about taking care of silk blouses and dresses, they don’t show the same concern for lingerie made from the same material. Instead, everything just gets dumped into the laundry, washed with harsh chemicals, and then one wonders why they wear out so frequently.

I really have to wonder about the whole bra washing thing, though. I’ve seen enough bras and caught hint of the fragrance that comes from them when one has been perspiring a bit. The smell is far from attractive. Sports bras, especially, which some people seem to think are fine to continue wearing after they’ve had their workout, have the ability to stink just as much as men’s athletic gear. Do you really want to let those things sit around a ripen before their washed?

I get it, the elastic materials do break down and wear out in the wash. However, doesn’t it totally defeat the purpose of looking nice if one doesn’t smell pleasant when someone gets close?

Women With Big Butts Are Smarter And Healthier

Wishful thinking. Check the source when you see articles like this. They tend to come from websites such as globetoday.com and terrificphotostoday.me. Notice that I’m not giving you links to either of those sites. Don’t go there. I know a lot of women would really like to believe that the mass of their buttocks has a correlation to the amount of brain power one has, but let’s get real: you know damn good and well that’s not true.

Don’t take my word for it, Snopes already disproved this one for you. Same goes for the one about drinking wine at night to lose weight. And the one about children inheriting their smarts from their mother. Sorry, it’s all just wishful thinking. We keep looking for shortcuts and they keep just not happening. One would think that by the time we reach adulthood, at least by the time we’re 30 or so, that we would have figured out that there is no easy way to lose weight or get smarter. Both require work. Yet, time after time we continue to fall for articles like this that offer some hope that maybe, just maybe, we can get away with our desire to emulate sloths.

If there’s one thing we learn from Monday after Monday it is the fact that we have to work for everything we get, and even when we work for it we don’t always get it. There are no shortcuts. Sorry.

Four Signs Your Relationship Is Headed To Its Doom

Because, yeah, that’s just the news you want first thing on a Monday morning. Are we really that desperate for bad news about our relationships or are we just looking for ways to self-sabotage? If you’re in a relationship and things seem to be going well, then why would you want to go looking for trouble? If your relationship is already not going well, do you really need more signs of the tragedy that awaits?

Articles like this exist for the sake of people who are fundamentally flawed and cannot accept the possibility that someone might actually care for them without having some ulterior motive. I’m not even sure that self-esteem counseling helps these people. They go through relationship after relationship, throwing away perfectly good people who would actually like to fall in love with them, but are jettisoned before they have the chance.

Here’s the real scoop:the number one sign that your relationship is headed to its doom is that you’re looking for signs your relationship is headed to its doom. Check your relationship paranoia and let someone love you.

10 Sex Positions That Will Get Her Off Every Time

I hate articles like this because they start from the premise that none of us really know what we’re doing in bed. Granted, every year yields a new crop of rookies and there are genuinely some people, specifically the most devout from any given sex-shaming religious group, who don’t have a fucking clue, literally. If the world really took relationships seriously, we’d be learning these things in school right about the time we’re losing our collective virginity. Heaven forbid we actually teach practical relationship skills anywhere, however. So, articles like this one continue to be popular.

Here’s the rub: everyone’s different. Want to know what will get your partner off every time? Talk to them. Find out what they like and what works for their body. You can’t trust what you read in an article because what feels great to one person might be downright painful for someone else. Blindly following the instructions of some how-to article you’ve read online can get you dumped out of bed before you even have time to unwrap that condom I’m sure you were planning on using.

Communication is a critical aspect of every relationship and the bedroom is no exception. Experimenting and trying different things is a lot of fun, but talk to your partner before actually attempting something new. The results will be better for both of you.

You Are Not As Helpless As You Think

The very reason all these articles and memes exist is because we doubt ourselves and our abilities. We don’t think we’re as smart as we are. We don’t think we’re as attractive as we are. What we read online and what we see in various media has us convinced that we are horribly flawed and need all the help we can possibly get. Look down your newsfeed this morning and one can easily come away with the impression that we’re all doing everything wrong.

Guess what: we’re not. Most of us are just fine, thank you very much. Those of us who do struggle are not nearly in as bad a shape as we tend to believe. So, stop doubting yourself. Think positive. Believe in what you can do.

And then duck because this is still Monday and the universe is out to get you.

Current Issues / PotD / Social Commentary

Love As A Political Platform

October 16, 2016

I think artists are always investigating how to have an economic, political platform. —Jeff Koons

What if we ditched the existing political parties and went with one that has love as its political platform? Consider the potential

Another Sunday morning. I’ve already taken the dog for his morning walk, both of us enjoying the extra light from the full Hunter’s Moon. The second pot of coffee is on. Dishes are washing in the dishwasher. Clothes are drying in the dryer. For the moment, everyone is asleep except me and the black cat, Burberry. She’s taking advantage of the quiet to give herself a thorough cleaning. For however many seconds this lasts, it is calming.

We are so incredibly inundated with politics this season that there seems to be no escape. I don’t mind admitting I’m concerned. I doubt the accuracy of polls in a race where a large number of voters are likely to go with a literal coin toss on election day. With Russia threatening, Yemen simmering, and Syria ready to explode (again), moments like these where my blood pressure is almost back within normal range are few.

At moments like this, I can’t help wondering what might be Poppa’s sermon topic were he preaching this morning. He disliked politics and didn’t think they belonged anywhere near the pulpit. Yet, in an atmosphere as politically charged as this one, even the church isn’t immune.

Perhaps he would artfully dodge the matter by talking about love as a political platform. He would use John 13:34 as his text: A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. He liked that passage. From there, he would develop the political platform based on the qualities of love. Perhaps something like this:

Love As Domestic Policy

When developing any political platform, one has to first consider how they are going to handle matters here at home. Certainly, we can use a lot of love right here, right now, and there are myriad ways love could be applied. One strong move might be to dissolve the two existing major political parties. They have become so incredibly polarized that they are no longer able to function. The hate between the two sides of the aisles in Congress has brought much-needed legislation to a standstill. Dissolving both parties and starting over with a stated intent of working from a basis of respect, loving those of contrary opinion, willing to sacrifice for the sake of consensus, would set a strong example for the people of the United States to follow.

Across the country, applying love through everything the federal government does would have a profound effect. We would end mass incarceration, mandatory sentencing, and find ways to actually help those who are challenged to fit into society. We would take an attitude of moving from community policing to community helping, perhaps putting more social workers on the street who can help people address problems before any law is broken. We would abolish the failed war on drugs, look at the legitimate power of cannabis, and address the basic conditions that lead to severe drug use.

A political platform that uses love for domestic policy invokes radical changes in the way we think, in the way relate to each other. We are not adversaries as many would have us believe. We are brothers and sisters committed to each other in Love, and that is a power that can take communities from the slums to the heights of prosperity, from crime to celebration, and from desperation to hope.

Love As Economic Policy

The economy is a huge and very sensitive issue in any political platform. When President Obama first entered office in 2009, we were in the throws of the worst economy since the Great Depression. Yet, while the numbers say that the economy has improved dramatically, those improvements haven’t been felt on the street where people are still struggling. That we need to apply some love to our economic policies seem obvious, but exactly how would we do that?

Perhaps we need to start by de-incentivizing greed. Love does not hoard, love gives. We have, since the beginning of the stock markets, based our measurements of economic growth based on monetary accumulation. We look at sales growth as a primary indicator of a company’s value with no consideration of whether they bring any actual benefit to the national or global population. If we change our valuation away from one that rewards greed to one that rewards actual benefit, we incentivize growth that is actually felt outside the corporate boardroom.

Love also is found in an economy where no one has too much and no one has too little. Our national wage system is in tatters and reinforces a social caste system that keeps the poor and disadvantaged, especially people of color, from making any personal economic progress. Yes, love rewards those who achieve, but it does not turn its back on those who struggle. Love sets a wage standard that allows everyone to live without need, without fear of being in want, and with an ability to be proud of who they are and what they do.

Love As Foreign Policy

Insomuch as the United States is a global power, we have a lot of influence in what happens around the world. We have the ability to change everything from the spread of deadly disease to the ability to grow crops and make a region self-sustaining. We have, too often, used our influence and power for bad. The world desperately needs for us to turn our foreign policy around and use it to spread love across the globe.

We do that by funding programs and providing assistance to efforts that help people, not those that hurt them. We spread love by helping to stabilize economies so that there is an absence of need. Love comes not when we sell our surplus weapons so that one tribe can have power over another, but when we trade their weapons for food, medicine, and economic support.

To those who insist on war and doing harm to others, we respond first to those they victimize, welcoming refugees, especially those persecuted and in need of medical attention. We keep our offers of love on the table at all times, but we fund no one’s aggression and do not allow our acts of kindness to be manipulated and misused. We defend where we must, but we do not utilize aggression as a means of getting what we want.

Love As Education Policy

Love facilitates learning throughout one’s lifetime. Love looks for ways to remove the barriers to learning whether they be financial, logistical, emotional, or intellectual. Love finds ways to help those for whom learning is a challenge and is not satisfied with any excuse for one not being taught to the full level of their potential. Love rewards those who learn and encourages them to use what they know, along with the skills and talents they possess to make the world a better place.

Love also understands that as much as we are all lifetime learners, we are also teachers. Some may teach in a classroom, others may teach through skill development or helping to advance understanding in critical thinking. Love values teaching because it understands the necessity of teaching to improve the learning that moves the world forward. As a political platform, teaching is critical because we have, for too long, relied on inappropriate standards of measure that punish actual broad instruction. Love gives teachers room to utilize different styles, methods, and pedagogies to meet the instructional needs of their students.

More than anything, Love shares knowledge and wisdom with respect, teaching history with regard to its impact on different cultures, teaching science as the progressive understanding of the earth based on fact rather than mythologies, teaching mathematics in light of its practical applications, and teaching the arts as an open expression of culture and personhood.

Love As Healthcare Policy

There is no political platform that can promise to make everyone well, to increase everyone’s longevity, or prevent new disease. Living and loving involves risks and where there are risks there is inevitably pain and infirmities that love on its own cannot prevent nor take away. How love responds to these critical moments of need starts by, once again, removing the greed incentive that has placed adequate healthcare out of the reach of many. Healthcare as a profit center is not love. Medicine as a source of profit is not love. Instead of rewarding the healthcare system based on the amount of profit it can produce, love dictates that reward instead be based on the amount of good being done.

Love does not deny anyone the best available healthcare, neither does it distribute care based on status or economic or social standing. Love provides to each the treatment they need at the time they need it without any unnecessary delay. Access to medicines is universal and availability of appliances such as artificial limbs are unhindered.

As policy, love takes medical care wherever it is needed, looking for creative and different ways to reach remote rural areas where care has too often been sparse and insufficient. Love leaves no one hurting and seeks to improve the quality of life for all.

Love And The Interior

Responsibilities for the Department of Interior are overly broad and too frequently under-funded. Everything from infrastructure to energy to the environment falls under this enormous umbrella and its myriad subdivisions. Yet, here too, a political platform based on love offers a more balanced and practical way of addressing the many physical needs that occur throughout our country. Love reaches out, looks forward, and protects our resources.

Love develops infrastructure based less on what currently exists and more on what is necessary for the future, looking at new technologies and embracing means of transportation that improve efficiency while reducing environmental impact. Love longs for sustainability in an energy policy that relies less on resources that can not be replaced and emphasizes those that are naturally occurring and provide benefit to the environment.

Love understands that we are firmly connected to this planet and must be good stewards of its use. Protections for waterways and all that exists within them is critical to a loving environment. Reducing our own footprint is a demonstration of love that allows those who come behind us to continue enjoying the natural wonders that fill our lives with beauty and pleasure.

Love As Social Policy

Our society is ill from all the partisan bickering to which we’ve been subjected. This is not a new disease for our country, but one which has reached such a critical point that have lost the use of some through alienation and marginalized many through hate. We need a political platform that brings love back as the dominant force in our society, encouraging and rewarding those who do for others before doing for themselves.

We need a national social policy that is wholly inclusive, so that people of color needn’t cower in fear, so that no one should ever be afraid to express who they are or what their sexuality might be, so that everyone gets an equal voice, even those with little to offer in return. A political platform based on love does not disregard the elderly no matter their age or level of ability. Neither does it leave children abandoned, starving, and without sufficient care.

Love rewards those who give, whether in terms of finances, or skills, or time spent holding the hand of one whose days are nearing their end. Love rewards those who strive for peace, diligently working to end conflicts before they escalate to violence. If the United States is to be the shining beacon of hope we want it to be, we must utilize love more than anything to stamp out all the fears that keep us from trusting, from engaging, and from appreciating those around us.

Starting A Conversation

We are, quite obviously, too late to impact this election cycle with a political platform so radical as that dominated by love. We can, however, begin a conversation that moves us forward toward a future where our political discourse is less dominated by hate. There will always be those who disagree. Vice is as much a part of the human condition as is virtue. Yet, the one we feed, the one we emphasize, the one we practice in our own dealings is the one that will dominate the next election.

All religions, not just Christianity, hold the same mandate given in scripture that we are to love one another. Love is not an option. Even if one holds no belief in a higher power, the universe demands unity, cooperation, respectfulness, and peace. We have seen the depths to which the ravages of hate can take us. Now, let us reverse course and set our sights for the heights possible through love.

Yes, I realize that this all sounds so very Pollyanish. Ideals set goals that are seldom achievable in reality. Still, we get out of our government exactly what we put in . We have endorsed hate for too long. Perhaps it’s time we try the alternative.

Peace be unto you.

PotD / science

Science Says: Eat Chocolate Cake For Breakfast

October 14, 2016

charles i. letbetter - science say: chocolate cake for breakfast is okay

Let’s face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. —Audrey Hepburn

charles i. letbetter - science says: eat chocolate cake for breakfast

Recent studies show that the time of day one eats chocolate matters. So, chocolate cake for breakfast it is!

Whey my boys were small, we had a tradition of saving some of their birthday cake and having it for breakfast the next morning. The same rule applied to their mom and I, so five times a year we were having cake for breakfast and, yes, most of the time it was chocolate. Our reasoning was that the ingredients in chocolate cake (especially if it was homemade) wasn’t all that different from a bowl of cereal. Plenty of protein, grains, dairy, and actually less sugar than is in many kids’ cereals made having chocolate cake for breakfast a lot of fun.

What I never expected back then was for there to be any science supporting what we were doing. Now, there is. Multiple studies, in fact, having been looking at the effectiveness not only of what we eat but when we eat it. As it turns out, much of our weight issues have to do not merely with the content and quantity of our food, but when we are consuming it. If we alter when we eat certain foods, such as chocolate, they can actually help us to lose weight rather than contribute to gaining.

Wait, are we saying that eating chocolate cake for breakfast might help someone lose weight? Well, that could be stretching things just a tiny bit, but ultimately, yes, one piece of chocolate cake in the morning could help curb one’s appetite for sweets the rest of the day, leading to possible weight loss.

The Science Behind It All

Chocolate cake for breakfast. This is one of those pseudo-science things that is easily debunked by real science, right? Next thing I know they’ll be telling us that staring at the sun cures cancer. We can’t really believe this, can we?

Yes, you can believe. The 32-week study was done at Tel Aviv University. They took 193 non-diabetic clinically obese people and divided them into two groups. The first group was given a 300 calorie breakfast and that was it. Good luck, folks. The second group, however, was given a 600-calorie breakfast that included chocolate pudding. Okay, not quite the same as chocolate cake, but damn close. I’m guessing the pudding was a little easier to prepare.

The results? The group that had pudding for breakfast lost, on average, thirty-seven pounds more than those in the group that only had 300 calories. Amazing, isn’t it? Now, why do you suppose that happened?

Basic biology here, boys and girls. Our metabolism runs higher earlier in the day, when we first get up. Therefore, our bodies are better able to process all those complex proteins and carbohydrates. Bonus points: by getting our sugar fix in earlier, we’re less likely to crave additional snacks and sweets during the day. This means going ahead and having a couple of donuts with that cup of coffee in the morning isn’t doing you as much damage as you might have thought.

All Things In Moderation

This is not giving you permission to eat an entire chocolate cake in one setting. The type of chocolate being used makes a difference as well. Dark chocolate, with more than 80% cacao, not only helps squelch the cravings, but is shown to improve cognitive function and enhance reasoning, memory, and focus. Milk chocolate? Not so much. A lot more fat and sugars there. One has to be careful and apply a bit of those smarts that you picked up at school between naps.

Still, what these studies demonstrate is that we don’t necessarily have to starve ourselves in order to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. We don’t need to do all those crazy diets, take a bunch of questionable pills, or any of the other nonsense we submit ourselves to in the name of dieting. This goes right back to exactly the same thing you learned in second-grade health class: balance. What we’re learning now, though, is that in addition to that food pyramid, there’s also a time scale. Chocolate is best in the morning. Bananas, it turns out, are perfect for lunch, when they can really help you get through the rest of your day. Eat one after dinner, though, and it’s more likely to upset your stomach and cause digestive problems.

This whole time-of-day science is really just getting started. I’ve searched for similar studies and, so far, have only found the small-sample early studies used to justify larger studies. Eventually, though, we could end up with a much clearer picture of when we should be eating different foods.

For now, we’re very happy that we have scientific evidence that chocolate cake for breakfast is a good thing. With this news, and the fact that it’s really, really cold here in Indiana this morning, I might just have to bake a fresh cake tonight for breakfast tomorrow. Something tells me the family won’t object.

Fashion / pop culture

Happy No Bra Day!

October 13, 2016

People think I’m trying to make a fashion statement because I never wear a bra. It’s really that I’m a tomboy at heart. —Cameron Diaz

Happy No Bra Day! We hope women everywhere are enjoying this special day of freedom

The notification that today is No Bra Day came through my newsfeed early this morning, long before anyone else was awake. I couldn’t help laughing. Kat never wears a bra. She doesn’t need to and even when someone thinks she should she won’t. So, this is a non-event around here. Every day is No Bra Day.

Yet, for millions of women who have been convinced that they’re just not fully dressed, or that they are somehow immodest if they’re not wearing a bra, the concept can actually be rather frightening. Women with especially large breasts are more likely to be ridiculed and verbally assaulted in public if they are not wearing a bra. People can be very mean if they think one’s boobs are not sufficiently supported and women are much more likely than men to make mention of the situation, frequently in terms that are derisive and insulting. Worst of all, there are far too many men, one of whom is running for President, who think that the absence of a bra is an invitation to touch or make other inappropriate and unwanted advances on a woman.

Not wearing a bra creates far more issues than it should. After all, the damn thing wasn’t even invented (in the form we know it) until 1914. There were a few precursors, and the argument can be made that women throughout history have been binding their breasts for different reasons. Still, we make far too big a deal about whether women are wearing a bra than the garment deserves.

Reasons For Not Wearing A Bra

I find it rather interesting just how many studies have been done on the effects of wearing, or not wearing, a bra. What wasn’t surprising was that most the studies were conducted by women. Looking through the material, one quickly gets the impression that a lot of women do not like bras in any way, shape, or form. Why, then, are lingerie stores, such as Victoria’s Secret, so popular? Because many women feel that they have to wear bras and that those bras have to be sexy if they want to impress a potential mate. Never mind that the “sexy” bras are practically worthless when it comes to providing support. Women have been brain-washed into thinking that wearing a bra is something they have to do.

The reality is that women’s bodies do better and are healthier when they don’t wear a bra. Repetitive studies have proven this for a number of years. Young women, especially, are healthier and less likely to have breast cancer if they never wear a bra. Women’s bodies form more collagen and maintain greater elasticity when bras are not worn as teenagers and young adults. And while I’ve always known women who complain about their back hurting if they don’t wear a bra, there is no scientific evidence that wearing a bra helps your back, nor is your back damaged if you leave it off.

Bras are expensive, never fit quite right, don’t allow for the fact that one side is often a different size than the other, and look downright ugly with many fashion styles. The body moves differently, feels different, and looks more natural without a bra. Going without a bra can be very self-affirming and is a strong body-positive statement of self-acceptance. Quite plainly, bras suck.

Don’t Take My Word For It

I’m a guy so I have never known the pressure to wear anything as uncomfortable as women tell me bras are. There is a point here where anything I say might be considered platitudinous (yes, that’s a real word). Fortunately, the good folks over at Refinery 29 have addressed the issue with a really cool video written and produced by women. We’re including it below. I think this pretty much has the final word on the subject. Watch it and, by all means, enjoy going braless today!

Photography / pop culture / PotD

Sorry Conde Nast, Spoiled Brats Are Not Photographers

October 13, 2016

Mighty cultures never — are almost never conquered. They crumble from within. And frankly, I think that a lot of Americans are acting like spoiled brats because everything isn’t working out perfectly every time. —Frank Miller

charles i. letbetter - sorry Vanity Fair, spoiled brats are not photographers

Calling a handful of spoiled brats photographers just because they take a handful of snapshots is insulting to those who really are photographers.

“Bella Hadid, Gigi Hadid, and Kendall Jenner Are All Photographers Now.”

I saw the headline yesterday and immediately seethed with anger. I didn’t need to read any further or see the pictures (though I did after I calmed down). There was no question as to the content or thesis of the W Magazine article. Put a camera in the hands of a spoiled brat, let her take some shots, publish them in a major fashion magazine and call it an editorial. Boom, three new photographers.

Horseshit. We’ve talked about this before. I started to link to the archived articles, but there were too many. This isn’t a new topic and not repeating myself is going to be difficult. The field of photography has become to crowded and too muddied, though, to let an insult like this pass without comment. Yes, I know I’m preaching to the choir—you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t supportive of what we do—but the fact that the topic keeps coming up again and again is evidence of how little respect we get from editors, and major publishing houses like Condé Nast, which owns W Magazine, Vanity Fair, and the Vogue franchise. If they think we can be replaced by know-nothing brats with no experience, they truly have no regard for the experience and professionalism of photography at all.

Why Use Spoiled Brats

I understand why the editors wanted to use the particular spoiled brats that they did. The three girls, combined, represent over 100 million potential readers. Thanks to social media, reality television, and a massive PR effort fueled by parents’ money, each of the girls are marketing juggernauts. Any place they go, anything they do is immediately in the spotlight with millions of people—mostly teenage girls with wide-eyed dreams— watching and taking notes. What these girls wear become instant sell-outs. When brands and fashion labels hire them, it’s not because the girls are particularly talented but because of the massive social media following they bring with them. That’s it.

That traditional print magazines are struggling is no secret. Even the massive Condé Nast, which has done better than most in converting its holdings to an online market, just had another C-level shakeup this week, which likely means more cuts coming to the rank-and-file. Money is tight. We get it. Anything they can do to increase the number of eyes coming across their pages they’re willing to try. This is why we see no-talent pseudo-celebrities on the cover of Vogue and Marie Claire.

We have no control over the foibles of celebrity fanaticism. To me, it has never made sense. I don’t go nuts over someone simply because they’ve been on television. I have been on television and let me tell you, it wasn’t all that difficult! Anyone who is breathing can pretty much do the television thing without any additional training or instruction beyond knowing how to talk. Yet, when someone becomes immensely popular, slapping them on a magazine is an easy way to increase sales; it’s easy, brainless content.

Snapshots Don’t Make Photographers

There’s actually a video of Bella Hadid’s “photoshoot.” The video focuses on Bella holding a camera and pushing the shutter button. She doesn’t worry about lighting, someone handles that for her. She isn’t seen processing the photos, someone handles that for her. She doesn’t even make any adjustments to the camera, such as focal length or shutter speed. Someone set those important elements before handing her the camera and told her to not touch them.

There’s no question the spoiled brats in question are good at taking snapshots. The Instagram queens have proven quite well adapted at making sure their face gets in the frame. That doesn’t make any of them photographers, though. Their understanding of cameras comes largely in relation to an app on their top-of-the-line cell phones. Do they understand why one might want to use different size lenses? No. Do they understand how digital cameras actually work? Of course not. Neither do they have any real concept of the delicacy of lighting, white balance, depth of field, focal length, or any of the dozens of other issues that real photographers have to consider before they ever snap the shutter.

Our industry has always been plagued by those who get lucky with a few good snapshots and suddenly think they should be photographers. Typically, however, they are put off by the high cost of entry or discouraged by the steep learning curve. None of those barriers exist, though, when one is rich and has plenty of people more than willing to compensate for their lack of knowledge or experience. So, spoiled brats get called photographers. Stand by, a lot of teenage girls are now interested in photography. Be glad cameras cost thousands of dollars.

The Problem Isn’t Going Away

All the complaining in the world isn’t going to make the problem of spoiled brats trying to be photographers go away. This is the new reality. Magazine editors are much less concerned about the quality of photography and immensely interested in how many eyeballs one’s name might bring to the publication. If you don’t have an Instagram following in the hundreds of thousands, you don’t stand a chance of any editor paying any attention, no matter how wonderful your work might be. We now live in a society where there is a tremendous disconnect between the artistry and talent of being a photographer and the value our perceived to possess. If a photographer is going to succeed, they not only have to take incredible pictures, they have to be champions of social media marketing, something very few of us even begin to understand.

The Hadid and Jenner generation will eventually fade, but they will be replaced by some other group of spoiled brats attempting to claim titles they’ve not earned. It is up to photographers, the real ones, to set a bar high enough that vanity cannot so easily claim a place on the platform. The challenge is ours. We must find an appropriate response.

Current Issues / Personal / PotD

It’s Okay For Boys To Wear Makeup

October 12, 2016

I feel more confident if my makeup looks good. —Ellie Goulding

Major marketing milestones are great, but reaffirming a little boy’s desire to wear makeup is even better.

Kat’s Little Man is bright. He reads well beyond his grade level, excels at math and problem-solving, and is quite sure he already knows everything (and isn’t afraid to say so). That part’s good. Where things become challenging are with his social skills. He likes people, but they annoy the crap out of him. Many of you can relate. They can also hurt his feelings quite easily and one of the most frequent reasons is he likes to wear makeup.

He’s asleep as I write this, but if I were to take a picture at this moment you’d see fingernails with chipped remnants of the nail polish he put on his fingers the other night. He did it himself and did a very good job. That’s about as much as he can get away with at school. The dress code prohibits any child from wearing makeup until fifth grade. If he could, though, he would probably wear makeup to school every day. He likes makeup. A lot. Unfortunately, his expression of that pleasure comes at a price.

So, when Covergirl Cosmetics announced James Charles as their first male spokesmodel, Kat and I thought it was a big deal. I waited until the Tipster had gone to bed before calling Little Man over to the computer. “Hey look!” I said, excited to show him something cool. “Here’s another boy who likes to wear makeup!”

His response was not what I expected.

Biases Start Early

“Yeah, I know. The girls at school still say that nail polish and makeup is only for girls and that boys can’t wear makeup.”

No excitement. He looked at the computer then down at his fingernails. I didn’t need to ask to know how he felt, but I did so that he can learn to express how he’s feeling. “I’m sorry they said that. How did that make you feel?”

“Angry,” he said. “I like wearing makeup and I want to wear makeup but those girls are just stupid.” He was visibly, physically agitated. Not wanting to get him upset right before bedtime, I tried to distract him with this:

It’s official: so excited to welcome @JCharlesBeauty to the COVERGIRL family. ❤️ #COVERGIRLJames! pic.twitter.com/088HlYBjQI

— COVERGIRL (@COVERGIRL) October 11, 2016

That didn’t work. “Yeah, but they still won’t let ME wear makeup to school,” Little Man mused as he returned to his seat on the couch.

“Well, maybe that could be you on that cover one day,” I tried, grasping at straws. I wanted him to be excited and encouraged and that just wasn’t happening.

He looked back at the picture on my monitor and said, “I can do better makeup than that.”

All About The Makeup

At this point, I should probably emphasize that sexuality is not part of the conversation we have with Little Man. He’s not close to understanding that topic yet and we see no reason to push him in any direction. That decision is his to make when he’s ready to make it. At this point, we try hard to not separate our friends into groups. Whether they’re gay, straight, bi, trans, or gloriously somewhere between all those choices, we still refer to them simply as our friends. The sexuality conversations can come later.

What matters for the moment is that Little Man really likes makeup. He always has. Kat has pictures of him when he was only two after he had gotten into her makeup. To some extent, that exploration is quite normal for a little boy at that age. I remember my middle son, the one who is now a Marine, coming out of the bathroom when he was four, his face covered in his mom’s makeup. Many parents have similar stories. Where other boys move on, though, Little Man never has. He loves makeup and is constantly “borrowing” his mom’s best makeup (always the expensive stuff) for his “experiments.”

Since the kids were on fall break last week, Kat took some time with her little guy to teach him how to apply makeup properly. She gave him a palette and the appropriate applicators, then let him put the makeup on her face. While his color choices made it appear in pictures as though his mom had a black eye, his general application and blending were surprisingly good. His eye shadow application was spot on. The kid may well be a natural.

Supporting Little Man’s interest in makeup isn’t difficult. We have plenty of makeup appropriate for experimenting. Kat has the knowledge of how to teach him to use the makeup correctly. No one at home judges his choice in any way (though we might sometimes wince at his color combinations).

We can’t control what happens when he leaves the house, though. He’s not content only wearing makeup at home. Little Man wants to look good when he goes out, even if it’s to the store, and we can’t control the responses he encounters in those situations.

Building A Better World

The atmosphere for boys like Little Man is improving. We have male friends who wear makeup when they visit so he knows he’s not alone. People around him who know him help by not reinforcing old gender stereotypes. There are no “girl” colors or “boy” colors.

Attitudes, though, are a different thing. Seeing that even in second-grade children have already developed opinions about what boys can do or girls can do is disappointing. We not only limit our children’s means of self-expression, but we also limit their ability to explore and try new things. We limit their goals and their desire to achieve when we tell them that they can’t do something simply because of their gender.

As adults, our responsibility is to build a better world for our children. We make sure the air remains breathable. We make sure the planet can continue to provide food. Their safety, education, and ability to achieve are matters we take seriously. We fail all children, though, when we establish limits because of their gender. Boys can wear makeup. Girls can sport crew cuts. Neither should ever feel that anyone is limiting them because of who and what they are.

If we do not provide that world for our children, we all have failed.

pop culture / Social Commentary

Dads Change Diapers, Too

October 11, 2016

Dads do a lot of things with their kids, but in some places, the biggest challenge of all is changing a diaper.

charles i. letbetter - Dads chance diapers, too

When Dads step up to help with the kids they often discover the world isn’t ready to accommodate them.

When my oldest son was born, our circumstances were such where it was possible, and made sense, for him to hang with me most the day. He went everywhere I did. He had his own space at the office. He was expected in the conference room. Everyone from interns to grandmas fawned over him at the radio station. Okay, he almost caused a bomb scare at City Hall, but every place else we went he was welcome and we had a lot of fun.

One of our favorite things to do, especially in the winter, was walking laps around the mall. He loved being in his stroller and usually would fall asleep for a nice, long nap after about an hour and a half. I had time for coffee and a sandwich and chatting with other dads before he would wake up and demand to be fed. Rarely did we ever have a problem of any kind. The mall was a cool place to be.

Unless his tummy was upset. Again, it didn’t happen often, but when it did, changing the child’s diaper required wearing a hazmat suit and a biohazard disposal team. Finding a place to change him, though, was impossible. All the baby changing stations in the mall were placed in women’s restrooms. Changing him out in the middle of everything was both cruel (to everyone) and unsanitary. Yet, we had little choice. The problem was significant.

Hello, Babies Act

Apparently, someone in Congress finally experienced this baby changing problem and decided to correct it. This past Friday, President Obama signed the Babies Act, legislation that requires baby changing stations in men’s public restrooms. We can thank Rep. David Cicilline (D-Rhode Island) for authoring the act, which passed with only 34 “nay” votes (all Republicans, if that matters).

There are some caveats. The bill only applies to public buildings, ie, court houses, government office buildings, etc. So, the folks at Simon Properties still aren’t required to put them in their men’s restrooms (though, to their credit, Simon was one of the first to start voluntarily putting baby stations in men’s rooms about 15 years ago). Some privately owned restaurants are still not likely to have them.

Also, the bill doesn’t apply if the restrooms are not meant to be public and only one accessible facility per floor is required. That last exception inevitably means that your child’s diaper will not blow out until you are on the extreme opposite end of the floor from the restroom. Trust me, babies understand bathroom geography. Still, this is at least a start, right?

Not Everyone Understands

Sadly, when I saw mention of the Babies Act being signed into law, there was immediately below it a comment claiming the law was a prime example of government over-reach. Another decried it as the demasculinization of our gender. There are plenty of people who don’t understand just how severe the problem is.

Yet, wander out with a little one still in diapers and the problem is likely to make itself evident very quickly. While little ones can have some of the most disgusting diapers every known to humanity, the well-contained accidents of a toddler can be just as challenging to change. There is a good reason those changing stations come with straps! Changing a toddler in public is risking having to chase said toddler bare-bottomed through whatever facility one is in.

Should government be involved? Uhm, yeah. It’s called equal access. Changing diapers is a matter of public heath, folks. Those little things have the ability to carry some pretty serious diseases. Do you really want us changing one of those a mere ten feet from where you’re trying to eat? Without appropriate facilities. That’s what happens.

Everyone Benefits

Changing a baby with a bad diaper is a big deal. On one occasion, my little guy had totally blown out his diaper and ruined his clothes. The stroller wasn’t in the best of shape, either. I knew I couldn’t change him out in the middle of the food court. We needed a restroom. One of the other dads suggested I try some of the stores to see if they would let me use an employee restroom or something.

So, off we went, my smelly, poo-covered child and I, from store to store, looking for a restroom. Most of the employees we encountered were young women who didn’t have children of their own and were not management. They looked at the little guy in horror as they sent me on down the row. Finally, after at least a half-dozen stores had refused us, a female manager motioned to us.

“Come on in here,” she said, looking both ways as if we were committing a crime. “We’ll fix you up a place to clean that baby.” The employee restroom wasn’t much, but she cleaned off a counter, put down a couple of pieces of plastic, and then retrieved some clean towels and dampened them with warm water. We got the little guy changed and dressed and she helped me dispose of the damaged goods appropriately.

No parent and baby should have to go through that desperation. No public place should be exposed to the horrors of a child’s diaper. It’s good that we finally have a law that sets a standard so that dads can attend to infant cleanliness.

Thank you, Congressman Cicilline.

Current Issues / PotD

Sexual Assault Was Never Macho

October 11, 2016

charles i. letbetter - sexual assault is never macho

Sexual assault is not a prize or a victory; neither is it something to be bragged about even if it didn’t actually happen.

charles i. letbetter - sexual assault has never been macho

Sexual assault is not a joke, nor a conquest. To treat it as anything other than a crime is wrong.

Processing the pictures above was emotionally difficult. They were shot for a special project a few years ago and I’m thankful to say that what appear to be bruises and abrasions on the model’s face are just an incredibly good makeup job. There are others from this project, a fight scene in particular, that I still can’t stomach. Never mind that I know the assault is fake, that no punches were actually thrown, that every step was carefully choreographed. The images are still disturbing.

I know there is perhaps some sexist bias in what I’m about to say, but I was raised to respect women. My father gave us no choice. He started by setting a strong example in how he treated our mother. We never heard him so much as raise his voice to her. He demanded nothing less from my brother and me.Being disrespectful to our mother was a capital offense and the quickest way to get a belt applied to our tail ends.

So, when I look at the recent news and see apologists such as Pat Robertson attempting to excuse a discussion of sexual assault as nothing more than macho talk, I’m not just disturbed, I’m angry.

Being Macho Is Nothing To Brag About

Eighth-grade gym was when I first encountered someone trying to act macho. There was one bully in particular who figured out that offensive language bothered me and was constantly using that as a means of torment. As strange as it may seem now, repeated use of the word “fuck” could almost bring me to tears (partly because I wasn’t sure what the word even meant).

The locker room was the worst. There, this loud, unruly, frequently suspended classmate would attempt to brag about how “macho” he was. He would tell in graphic detail tales of his alleged sexual exploits with different girls in our class. Each afternoon was a new claim about a different girl.

No one bought his act. First, everyone knew he was lying about his conquest. He was called out on that fact more than once, and on at least two occasions I can remember, he took a punch to the face when the wrong guy’s girlfriend was mentioned. Every last one of us was interested in sex, mind you — we were 14-uear-old boys in the 70s. We looked forward to experiencing it for ourselves. Still, the whole macho thing wasn’t cool. If anything, acting macho was a good way to get your nose bloodied.

Bad Excuses For Bad Behavior

Who would have ever thought that all the way here in 3016 we would have a presidential candidate who not only brags about committing sexual assault but then attempts to defend it with claims of “just acting macho?” Even a year ago, when it was already clear that this election cycle was going to fly off the rails, I don’t think any reasonable person would imagine such horrible words coming out of a candidates mouth.

What is unquestionably worse, though, is that people are defending both what was said and what allegedly happened. There can be no more certain sign of complete and utter moral decay that for someone like Robertson, someone who has made a career of claiming to represent the most popular deity in the United States, to defend such disrespectful, disgusting, and distasteful discussions as nothing more than, “being macho.”

Mind you, I never liked Robertson in the first place, something else I learned from my father. Even n the early days of the 700 Club, Poppa called Robertson a charlatan who was siphoning money out of the pockets of those who already had the least to give. Still, to actually sit there on television and endorse bragging about sexual assault is so far beyond the pale as to completely remove any thin shred of integrity the old codger might have had left. There is no excuse for sexual assault and no room for those who tolerate it.

Sexual Assault Is Not A Joking Matter

What may be most disturbing is that so many apologists for the candidate are treating the subject of sexual assault as though it were a humorous topic. Their complete dismissal of the seriousness of the matter is an affront to every woman on the planet. I am mind-blown by the flippancy with which too many people are responding to the candidate’s statement.

Fortunately, women are fighting back in a very powerful way by telling their stories. British author Kelly Oxford called for women to tell their stories of sexual assault, and they have, by the thousands. Their stories are not easy reading. Accounts of sexual assault are not entertaining. In fact, having read a few last night, I can only imagine how difficult it was for women to dredge up those horrible memories.

We have talked before about the problem this country has with overcoming a persistent rape culture. Treating sexual assault as though it were some kind of adolescent right of passage reinforces that rape culture. As we continue to allow such conversations to exist we continue to put every woman on this planet at risk.

We Know Better

Some have attempted to dismiss the candidate’s remarks as merely locker room banter. I can imagine there are still some locker rooms where such misogyny is still tolerated, but those locker rooms are the exception, not the rule. Want to know what a professional locker room is like? It’s LeBron James picking up the towels his teammates left behind. It’s the Colts dancing after a victory.The locker room is also the seen of a lot of crying after a loss and challenges among teammates when someone fails to pull their weight.

We all know that sexual assault is wrong. Being macho has never been cool and has never been an excuse. There is no reason to tolerate this among anyone. We would punish any teenager we caught acting up like this. We certainly have no reason to tolerate it from a presidential candidate or his supporters.

Dismissing sexual assault is disgraceful and so are those who excuse it.

Current Issues / PotD

5 Things More Important Than Politics

October 10, 2016

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. —John Kenneth Galbraith

Politics be damned. There are things more important. A lot of things. Time to re-focus

My newsfeed is full of comments,articles, statements, and quotes regarding last night’s Presidential debate. I’m doing my best to ignore as much of it as possible. I was having hot chocolate and cherry pie while the debate was occurring, enjoying time with family. I went to bed before the debate was over. I slept well, not giving a second thought to either candidate.

With a field of candidates more unlikeable and unqualified than we’ve ever seen, the intelligent move would have been to shut down the conversations, ignore the buffoonery, and focus on issues we could actually change for the positive. Apparently, we’re not that smart. From the very beginning, we went for the clown show, laughing at how absurd it all was. Our constant attention encouraged even more stupidity and it grew to the point we now have a circus that is nothing more than really bad slapstick.

Meanwhile, there are really important things going on in the world. There are probably thousands of things I could list that are more important than politics, but we’ve narrowed the list to five in hopes that maybe someone will actually pay attention this time. Take a look.

People In Haiti Are Digging Mass Graves

The death toll is over 1,000 in Haiti now. Cholera is beginning to sweep the island, which could kill more than Hurricane Matthew did. Rural areas, once again the hardest hit, are in desperate need of help with the most basic of necessities, such as clean water and sanitation. If you live anywhere in the United States, even if you are homeless, you are better off than the people of Haiti at this moment.

Calls for help are, of course, going out, but one thing we learned from the aftermath of the earthquake there three years ago is that the government is so incredibly corrupt and cares so very little for its people that very little aid actually gets to the people who need it. By some accounts, as much as 90 percent of aid sent to Haiti never reached its intended destination. Instead, it was hoarded by government leaders who used aid funds to line their own pockets.

What do we do? I don’t know. There’s no aid that does not have to go through government channels.While NGOs such as the Red Cross and the UN are doing their best, what we are seeing so far is a repeat of the disaster from three years ago. Haiti’s government doesn’t care if people die. Only a full-scale takeover of the government gets people the assistant they need, and no one is going to do that. The people of Haiti are screwed.

Meanwhile, the death toll from Hurricane Matthew in the US is at 17. That story is buried in most newspapers this morning, too. I had to hunt for it.

Santos Gives Nobel Prize Money To Colombian Victims

Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos won the Nobel Peace Prize last week for his efforts to end the long civil war in his country. Some were surprised that he won despite an election that turned away an agreement that would have ended the conflict. Yet, the Nobel committee chose to acknowledge his efforts, saying that the election results were out of his control.

The monetary piece of the Nobel Prize is 8 million Swedish krona, which, based on this morning’s exchange rate, is just under a million dollars US. That much money buys a lot in Colombia and President Santos had many options. Politics being what they are, no one would have been too surprised had Santos chosen to put the money behind something that would benefit him politically. Instead, he chose to give it to those most affected by the ongoing war.

With the peace agreement having been shot down by voters and a cease-fire set to expire this week, fears in Colombia are mounting. The rural people have that country have been especially hard hit. Yet, unlike the situation in Haiti, they have a President who, at least on the surface, seems to care.

Stew Is Better Than Steak

Food is so much more important than politics. With the weather having cooled off, we can once again turn our attention to the savory and flavorful dishes that not only fill us but keep us warm. I made my first pot of chili for the season last night and will probably do some manner of veggie stew later this week.

Is stew actually better than steak, though? Really?

Think about that question for a moment. Think of the variety, the flavors, the options one has with stew that simply doesn’t exist with steak. If I prepare a steak for dinner, I have to be careful to choose just the right cut of meat, prepare it in just the right way with a limited group of appropriate spices, and pray that I’m not distracted and ruin it by cooking it a touch too long.

Stew, on the other hand, is a rainbow food. Toss at it whatever’s left over in the fridge, or what you’re still pulling from your garden. Maybe you add meat, maybe you don’t (though, by definition, most stew at least has a meat stock base). One can get really fancy with the ingredients, or one can play it loose and adventuresome. Making a bad stew is almost impossible. Oh, and cutting the meat into chunks also makes it more tender and flavorful, something you can’t do with a steak.

See? So much more important than what the Republican called the Democrat.

The Cubs

Tonight is game 3 of the National League playoffs, Cubs vs. Mets. The Cubs took the first two games. They have a talented pitching staff. The bats have worked when they were needed. The Cubs could sweep the Mets tonight.

Politics? Who needs politics when there is a more than reasonable chance that the Chicago Cubs could end up in the World Series for the first time in 108 years?

I have to admit, it has been interesting to watch the playoff coverage in the Chicago Tribune. They have been so very careful to not get too excited, to not be overly positive, to not give the Cubs any undue credit. We’ve been down this road before: the Cubs make the playoffs but can’t seal the deal. To be a Cubs fan is to spend every October crying into your beer.

Yet, this year, with this team, things could be different. Maybe. Just maybe.

Tomorrow Is The Deadline For Voter Registration In Indiana

Okay, this is sort of political. Although, politics aren’t the only reason we vote. Duty, commitment, love of our country, and an obligation to participate in our government are why we vote. Politics are merely an annoying side effect, rather like anal leakage.

Voting is always more important that the politics surrounding your vote. There are too many people in our country who would take votes away from people whose voice needs to be heard. If you have the ability to vote, you have a moral obligation to do so. This is the way our country was designed to work. You not voting is exactly the same as Congress spending roughly two-thirds of the year on vacation: neither are doing what the country needs us to do.

No, voting doesn’t make the politics go away. Sometimes, the politics get worse. We are such an ideologically diverse country that our passion sometimes gets in the way of doing what is right.

Voting is not an endorsement of a candidate. Voting is saying to those elected, “Hey, I’m a citizen. My life matters. And I’m watching you.”

If you are not registered to vote, do so now.

Music

Sunday Morning Sing-A-Long

October 9, 2016

Time is important to me because I want to sing long enough to leave a message. I’m used to singing in churches where nobody would dare stop me until the Lord arrives! —Mahalia Jackson

charles i. letbetter - sunday morning sing-a-long

Music is something to be shared and the meaning runs deeper when we sing together

Growing up with my butt firmly planted in church on Sunday mornings, it just seems natural that there should be music. Hymns chosen to complement the topic of the morning’s sermon served as emotional preparation for what was to come. When the congregation would sing together, the sound could be glorious — or not, depending on the church.

Whether we’re in church or out, when we sing with other people we are somehow bonded emotionally to them. We may not know their names. We almost certainly don’t know their circumstances. Yet, as we bring our voices together, singing words we know so well, we are filled with a warm sense of belonging. For a moment, we are part of a choir and it doesn’t matter whether we get all the words right or if we miss a note here and there. What matters is that we sing.

After my missive on happiness this morning, it occurs to me that what was missing from my sermon was the music. Granted, I’m not inclined to lead everyone in a number of hymns. I think a more secular invocation is appropriate for our purposes. When we think about happiness, there are a number of songs that pop to mind. So, what we’re going to do is give you a group of videos, lyrics included or which you likely know, and let’s all sing together, shall we? I know it’s not church, but I think it will be enjoyable.

https://youtu.be/PGJX9tutZEA

There, is everybody happy now?

pop culture / PotD

Our Obsessive Pursuit Of Happiness Makes Us Sad

October 9, 2016

charles i. letbetter - our happiness obsession makes us sad

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. —Mahatma Gandhi

charles i. letbetter - our obsessive pursuit of happiness makes us sad

Our relentless pursuit of happiness is very likely the one thing that is making us unhappy

Our little ones regularly tell me that I’m mean. Typically, that accusation comes when I tell them to go to bed, or don’t let them play with knives, or deny them the fourth cookie. In their view, I am impeding their path to happiness. For all their short little lives, other people have been focused on making them happy: grandparents, teachers, babysitters, etc. They are told in a thousand different ways that their happiness is what matters. Then, Kat and I come along and ruin by insisting that they take a bath, or not play in the litter box, or tell them to stop climbing the walls in the hallway (not kidding). We are so very mean.

I’m rather sure that when Thomas Jefferson included that line about the “pursuit of happiness,” he didn’t realize the level of horror he was unleashing on us a little more than two centuries later. We have come to take his words as a mandate: we must pursuit happiness. We think that we are not being fulfilled as individuals if we are not pursuing happiness. Oh, and by the way, it is our own individual happiness that matters. If your pursuit of happiness interferes with my pursuit of happiness then what you are doing is wrong. This is where our current social thought process has taken us.

Could it be that we have become so incredibly focused on being happy that we’ve lost sight of all the other things in life that matter? Does happiness need to be our highest priority or might there be more to life?

America, The Happy

Such obsessiveness over whether we are happy is apparently a uniquely American thing that doesn’t occur in other societies. Ruth Whippman, an English writer, journalist, and documentarian currently living in California, wrote a rather interesting book, AMERICA THE ANXIOUS: How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks. You can get a taste of her book in this article on Vox. Part of the motivation for writing her book was the experience of coming from a society where happiness isn’t given a second thought and being tossed into the heart of a culture that is wholly obsessed with how happy they are. What she notices is that, as hard as we try, we’re really not any happier. In the Vox article she says:

To an outsider, it can sometimes feel as though the entire population has a nationwide standardized happiness exam to take and everyone is frantically cramming the night before to get a good grade. Like a stony-faced “that’s hilarious” after a joke in place of laughter — another mildly unnerving staple of conversation in this country — it appears that somewhere along the line, the joy has been sucked out of American happiness.

Americans are obsessed with being happy, I am convinced, because we somehow see it as part of our national birthright. We look at our lives and if we don’t think we’re happy then, somehow, our country is letting us down. Certainly, the Republican candidate for President whose slogan is “Make America Great Again,” enjoys such ridiculous appeal despite all that is inappropriate about him because what he’s actually saying is, “Make American Happy Again.” People respond to that desire to be happy, even if it denies happiness to others.

Our Entitlement Philosophy

Because we, as Americans feel entitled to being happy, we give that feeling a priority and refuse to accept any other emotion for very long. Sadness is not acceptable. Depression requires medication, as does anxiety. If we are angry then we “have issues.” One who is overly enthusiastic is “out of touch,” but one who is embarrassed or feeling guilty needs to “get in touch with their inner self.” We look at happiness as our diety-delivered right and refuse to accept anything else.

One of the most ridiculous yet widely followed and often quoted statements in history comes from Ayn Rand:

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.

Can you see how that self-centered piece of horseshit is guiding the entitlement philosophy of an entire political party? Rand, and those who blindly follow her, put one’s personal happiness as a moral imperative above things such as being kind, helping others, compassion, caring, and empathy. When we become so singularly focused 0n achieving a state of happiness, when our purpose in life is to please ourselves first, we end up with policies that are anti-women because that infringes on the happiness of the men making the laws. If our integrity hinges on an imaginary emotional state of bliss, then we develop hate toward others whose conditions of poverty make us look bad. When we depend on the unachievable as proof of our values, we then question and criticize the values of others.

Creating A Happy Culture

I’m sitting here looking at Little Man’s report card for the first term. He’s in second grade. Back in the cultural stone age of when I went to school, second grade was the last year we received the grossly over-generalized grades of S for satisfactory and U for unsatisfactory. Either we understood the material or we didn’t. No gray area. By contrast, the grading scale for Little Man’s class is as follows:

4 = Exceeding Standards
3 = Meeting Standards
2 = Working Towards Standards
1 = Not Meeting Standards

There are a tremendous number of 4s on this report, which pleases Kat. However, as Little Man was going over the report card with me this past week, he wasn’t happy. “Threes aren’t good enough,” he told me. “Threes mean I’m just the same as everyone else. 4s mean I’m better than most the people in my class.”

“So, three isn’t good enough?” I asked.

“I wish there was a 5 to show that I’m the best,” he answered. “That would really make me happy.”

Good god, we’re raising an over-achiever. Yet, this is how Little Man defines whether or not he is happy. S for satisfactory would never be enough for him. Exceeding standards isn’t enough for him. This social culture has convinced him that he needs to be on top, leaving everyone else behind, in order to be happy. The kid is likely in for a world of disappointment. Yet, if he demonstrated any lesser amount of determination then he would be labeled as an underachiever and probably considered uncooperative.

The Curse of Mindful Empowerment

In the world of creating happiness, there are two buzz words that come up a lot. One is empowerment, the other is mindfulness. On their own, both words can have some really positive meaning. Yet, as we’ve taken them to become significant parts of our push to find what makes us happy, we might have taken both words a little too far. I like what Ms. Whippman says about empowerment:

As a rule, “empowerment” appears to be the consolation prize for those of us who will never have any actual power, and you can safely assume that no one in any position of genuine authority will be joining in. Creating a Tumblr of photos of your post–C-section wobbling and scarred naked stomach? Empowering! Creating a Tumblr of photos of your post-prostate surgery rectum? Not so much, senator.

Mindfulness requires being completely focused on whatever one is doing right at this moment. For example, if I was fully mindful, I would be totally consumed with writing the article and probably miss the fact that I have water boiling on the stove. Yet, the Mindfulness movement is so large that it has even made the cover of TIME (January, 2014). Should one make a trip to mindfulness.org, the home base of all things mindful, one sees articles such as The 7 Qualities of Mindfulness Trained in the Body Scan and Take a Mindful Hike. Here, happiness comes through hyper-attentiveness on a specific object or thought, not letting the mind wander, and thereby avoiding all things negative. That sentence is an over-simplification, of course, but again it is pushing one to focus on themselves to the exclusion of other things and other people around them.

I’m not anti-self-help, mind you. Rather, I think that when we improve ourselves it should be so that we are better able to help others and our community. Society only works when we are involved outside ourselves.

Going About This The Wrong Way

Happiness is elusive. To the extent that we spend all our time, all our motivation, in the pursuit of a condition we often cannot even define, we end up making our lives miserable. Gallup does an annual Positive Emotions Survey that essentially matters how happy people are. They poll adults in 140 countries and ask the following questions:

• Did you feel well-rested yesterday?
• Were you treated with respect all day yesterday?
• Did you smile or laugh a lot yesterday?
• Did you learn or do something interesting yesterday?

With all the effort Americans put into being happy, one might be tempted to think that we’re at the top of the list. We’re not. The US isn’t even in the top ten. Want to know who is the happiest? People in these countries, scale based on 100 being the happiest:

Paraguay 84
Guatemala 83
Honduras 83
Uzbekistan 83
Ecuador 83
El Salvador 82
Indonesia 82
Costa Rica 81
Uruguay 81
Colombia 81
Switzerland 81

One doesn’t need to look long to realize that none of the countries listed are likely to be engaged in things like empowerment and mindfulness. They’re not doing yoga and attending seminars on How To Be A Better You. Yet, they are consistent, year after year, happier than we are. We’re still in the top 25, mind you, but that people in lesser industrialized countries with fewer opportunities, higher unemployment, and lower wages would still be happier than we are should give us a hint that we’re probably going about this the wrong way.

Perhaps Happy Isn’t What We Need

One of the lessons I learned from going to church every waking moment of my youth is that no one promises us happiness. In fact, we’re pretty much assured that happiness isn’t going to happen all that often. If Poppa were sitting here with me this morning, and perhaps he is, he would likely use this scripture to make his point:

Philippians 4:11-13New International Version (NIV)

¹¹I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do all this through him who gives me strength. [Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.]

Look back up at the questions asked for the Positive Emotions Index. Did you sleep well? The question isn’t whether you slept as long as you want. Neither does it involve the type of bedding on which one sleeps. Simply sleeping well is sufficient and being content with that is more likely to leave us feeling satisfied. Were you treated with respect all day yesterday? That’s going to change from day to day and perhaps even moment to moment. Yet, to the degree we can find contentedness, not happiness, in our situation, regardless of how others treat us, we are more likely to feel better about ourselves.

Now, look what happens when we focus questions outward. Did you help someone else smile or laugh today? Chances are, if you helped someone smile, you were probably smiling also. It is easier to feel good when we are helping others feel good. Did you teach someone something new and interesting today? Does not improving someone else’s life not improve your own at the same time? When we are content, we might just increase our happiness because contentedness allows us to focus outward rather than inward.

We Are Not Cocoons

One would think that the pursuit of happiness is a virtue, a positive character trait to be admired. Unfortunately, Americans, in their obsession to find happiness at any cost, have made that pursuit negative. Too often, our happiness comes at the expense of others. We focus so fully on what we think might make us feel better that we lose sight of what we could do to make the world feel better.

If we were some type of larvae that lives in a cocoon with no interaction with or obligation to the outside world, then sure, focusing on our own happiness might be totally appropriate. We do not live in cocoons, though. We are part of a vibrant, loud, emotional, and needy society. When we focus on our own happiness to the exclusion of those around us, we ultimately do harm to the whole.

Instead, perhaps we should work more to find contentedness and focus our intentions and actions on helping others. Something tells me that when we stop pursuing happiness so hard it might just show up on its own.

Art / Behind The Scenes / Photography / PotD

10 Photos Revived From The Archives (And Why)

October 8, 2016

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. —Audrey Hepburn

charles i. letbetter - 10 revived photos from the archives

Every once in a while we need to go back through the archives and revive some photos that were once ignored

This is one of those days where I just couldn’t handle the current topics in my newsfeed. The top five news stories this morning all dealt with the same issue which dominated yesterday’s news. I don’t want to add to that noise. Plus, I’m still tired, recovering from a month of fashion shows and trying to get things in gear for next year. This is typically a quiet time where we don’t shoot as much, but we’re extremely busy with business stuff.

Given all that, today seemed like a good day to show you some pictures we’ve revived from the archive. Rather than put them in a slide show, though, which would be very easy, I want to take you through each of them and explain why they were omitted from their original set’s production. Perhaps this method will be a bit more interesting.

Let’s start with the photo above. This is a picture of downtown Dallas, TX taken from the passenger seat of my brother’s vehicle. I love that Dallas is not afraid of modern architecture. There is a lot to that city that will surprise you, despite the large number of morons who live there (No, baby brother doesn’t actually live there). Why was this image not part of the original set? Two reasons. First, the uniqueness of the architecture leaves me uncertain as to where the straight lines are supposed to be. Perspective is a wonderful thing and this image defies it. Second, look in the bottom right corner and you’ll see my reflection in the snow-covered hi … uhm, I mean, car window. Rather creepy.

Revived Workout

Why I Revived This Picture: I love the ambiguity of this frame. We see their arms extended upward but have no reason why they are engaged in such a pose. I had only recently met both girls and they were such good sports to be out shooting on a rather cool Sunday morning. What are they actually doing? Pullups. There’s a bar just above them, hence the reason for their arms being in the position they are.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: The very reason I like this image is why we left it out of the original set: it’s too ambiguous. We were doing an article on fitness, had tons of photos, and this one just muddied the water too much.

A Bit Of Tack

Why I Revived This Picture: Symmetry. This is the tack room at the stables where my niece rides. I was taken first by the color of all the different tack, but as I looked I noticed the symmetry with which they were hung on the wall. I couldn’t resist the photo.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: We were on a family vacation. Do you see any family in this picture? No. This happens every vacation. I take a lot of pictures and then never get around to processing the ones that don’t include family members.

Body Paint

Why I Revived This Photo: I really love the painting Kelly Oswalt did for this set. Having to cover an entire body in white is a lot more difficult than it sounds. The design she chose was absolutely wonderful and has always been one of my favorites.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: At the time we shot this I was cropping everything to a square orientation and this photo just doesn’t fit. I was also dropping in a substitute background and that didn’t work with this photo, either.

Am I Blue?

Why I Revived This Photo: Color. It’s not often we have a photo with such high contrasting color, especially with any level of nudity in the photo. Here is one of those rare instances where it all comes together and looks best with very little treatment to it at all.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: Originally, this photo was part of a composite image, hence the blue background. The image was heavily blurred and at a reduced opacity so that the bright contrast of the colors was not evident.

Long Sleeves

Why I Revived This Photo: This sleeve is one of the best examples of detailed color ink work I’ve seen. There are a lot of times I don’t like full sleeves like this because, depending on how the arm is bent or what clothes might be worn, the flow of the image is interrupted. This piece works nicely, though, even under blouses that cover most of her arm. Very beautiful work.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: When we first processed this series of photos I really wanted to make sure every image focused on the ink more than a model. I was concerned that the nipple might be distracting because, as the past few hours have demonstrated, the world is full of pigs.

Down On The Farm

Why I Revived This Photo: Because this is one of those sets where we should have done better. We had been shooting all day outdoors and hadn’t taken enough lights to adequately handle shooting after dark. Not many of these photos are worth saving, but this one is.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: The whole set was largely buried. I only processed three images when we first shot them. As an aside, since these photos were taken, the model returned to college and is now an RN. A lot of people called her a lot of not-so-nice names and refused to work with her. To those people, we say, “Fuck you.”

Eternal Terminal

Why I Revived This Photo: Lines. Look at them. The perspective of the hallway, uniquely shaped by unseen staircases, trailing off into darkness, lends itself to so very many stories. My imagination runs wild when I think of all the adventures that might have had their beginning or ending in this hallway.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: This image is not from a public set. We were doing some location scouting and this was one of the images that convinced me we needed to shoot here. However, I typically don’t process photos from a scouting shoot. In fact, it’s rare I keep them at all. I just couldn’t let this one go.

Almost Anonymous

Why I Revived This Photo: Nothing from this set has ever been processed. They were shot a few years ago, the middle set in a three-set shoot. First set was processed, third set was processed, these were skipped. Since I was going through looking for photos that hadn’t been seen before, this seemed like a pretty good choice.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: I don’t remember exactly, but the set that comes after this is a very popular series involving a pocket watch. Some of you might remember having seen those photos. I think there’s still one in my portfolio. Excitement over that last set most likely led to this set being ignored.

Life Sometimes Sucks

Why I Revived This Photo: This poor young woman has had a rough go of it lately. Every time she turns around, someone she cares about is dying. There are other issues as well. This is one of those moments when life is not being kind and there’s not a helluva lot anyone can do about. So, I’m hoping this photo might bring a smile to her day and remind her that someone cares.

Why This Photo Was Omitted: At the time we processed the other photos from this set, this one didn’t seem to particularly fit the narrative. We’d had a fun shoot. She had a fun shoot. This image seemed a little too serious to match with all the smiles and laughter. The photo feels a lot more poignant by itself.

There, ten photos revived from the archive. I hope you’ve enjoyed the stroll. Maybe I’ll think of something important to write by tomorrow.

Fashion / pop culture / PotD

What If Street Style Were A Competitive Sport

October 7, 2016

I’m very driven by what I do. I am certainly very competitive. I like people who represent the best at what they do, and if that turns you into a perfectionist, then maybe I am. —Anna Wintour

charles i. letbetter - what if street style were a competitive sport

For some people, dressing stylishly is a requirement but what if how we dress were a competitive sport?

Imagine getting up every morning knowing that what you choose to wear could affect your income for the day. What would you choose? Stylish dress with heels that can’t be ignored? Colorful separates with the new ballet flats that are all the rage? Perhaps a dress suit for that meeting this afternoon.

Among the list of characteristics that one might give Americans, casual and competitive are two that would seem to be at odds with each other. How can one be competitive and any portion of them still be relaxed? The answer, of course, is that we’re not competitive and casual about the same things. We’re competitive about our sports, obviously, and a lot of people are competitive about work. Some are competitive about how much stuff they have and what kind of stuff it is. At the same time, we’re very casual about things such as how we dress, what we wear when we go to the store, and how people perceive us when we’re “off duty.”

Many of our workplaces have dress codes, some of which are driven by safety requirements or a need for uniformity and visual recognition. However, what if you were graded based on how stylish you are? Perhaps even more frightening, what would life be like if your compensation and eligibility for advancement were connected to how on trend you are in your choice of clothing? How would that change your life?

Dressing To Be Seen

There is an interesting article in this past Wednesday’s New York Times that is titled The Situation With Street Style. Coming at the end of a month’s worth of fashion shows, the article focuses on an aspect of fashion that has not only changed dramatically but become rather competitive. Before the advent of social media and hordes of street style photographers lingering outside every runway venue, most editors and buyers dressed for anonymity. Part of doing their job was to report on the fashion, not be the fashion. So, they dressed in monochrome outfits that were stylishly boring and reasonably comfortable. Those 14- to 16-hour days can be grueling, so best to dress for the long haul.

However, now there are a number of editors and buyers whose Instagram accounts are followed by hundreds of thousands of people. Being anonymous is no longer an option. Everyone who enters a fashion show, especially those in Europe, is photographed multiple times. Pictures are uploaded to Instagram and other social media almost immediately and those who are recognizable are tagged. For those who once enjoyed anonymity, how they dress has become a liability.

Street style among those who attend Europe’s fashion shows is now competitive. Anna Dello Russo, an editor at large for Vogue Japan, changes her clothes as many as six times a day during fashion weeks so that she’s not continually photographed wearing the same thing as she moves from show to show. For many, dressing stylishly enough to capture the attention of street style photographers isn’t a bonus, but a requirement for the job. They must dress to attract attention which, in turn, drives sales for advertisers.

Taking Competition To The Next Level

Would being competitive about how we dress really be all that bad? In some ways, we are already there. The whole reason many schools have switched to requiring uniforms is because, allegedly, individual style had become so competitive that it was giving rise to theft and bullying. Teenagers can take anything and make it hyper-competitive and sometimes that isn’t a good thing. We also see the same competitiveness in urban cultures where the amount and kind of “bling” one wears is a status symbol. The concept of competitive styling really isn’t that foreign to us.

We tend to push off a lot of the competitiveness as we get older. We’re told to work more as a team and to do that we have to set aside at least a certain portion of our competitive drive. We start dressing similarly to those around us, careful to not dress higher than our status. For example, if one’s immediate supervisor dresses in khaki and cotton button-down shirts, wearing a suit and tie might be seen as an aggressively competitive move. Americans are much more comfortable taking a casual approach to clothing in large part because it feels more friendly.

Competitive dressing could potentially be a good thing, though. Taking our appearance more seriously encourages us to take other things more seriously, especially the work we do. When we put more effort into how we dress, our attitude changes. We tend to act more determined, more focused, and more driven. Women who dress stylishly not only command more attention but also give more attention to their peers. Men who are more attentive to how they dress are generally seen as being more reliable and trustworthy. Being competitive in our everyday style could be a good thing for all of us.

How We Score

Of course, if we’re creating a competition, then we need a scoring system that reflects current trends but doesn’t punish those who can’t afford designer labels. Being able to pull together different pieces to create a unique and attractive look needs to have greater value than merely copying what was on the runway. Taking something simple and turning it into something fabulous would earn bonus points. Companies could have a special employee Instagram account with rewards given for those whose style generates the most likes.

Extreme fashion makes assessing penalties difficult, though. It’s not like one could be dinged for wearing pajamas to work when we’ve seen multiple instances of pajamas on the runway mixed with things like suit jackets and button-down shirts. Then, there’s the question of how to address the inherent sensuality of some designs. Sheer was huge on the runway this season as was wearing bras outside one’s clothing. Addressing what is appropriate without being unnecessarily inhibitive could be challenging.

Ultimately, though, I think putting more emphasis on how we dress, on styling ourselves to attract attention rather than avoid it, might be just the attitude adjustment we’ve been needing. We need to think more of ourselves rather than trying to hide. Our society and culture shouldn’t be dominated by a handful who happen to dress better than everyone else. Going to the effort of looking good, and let’s face it, looking good takes some serious effort, should be rewarded, not discouraged. Perhaps being compensated for making an effort might encourage more people to make an effort. I see that as being a positive thing.

Competitive street styling, your time has come.

Photography

All The Mistakes Photographers Make

October 6, 2016

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. —Oscar Wilde

Photographers make a lot of mistakes. We’re human. So, do we really need to list them all?

I don’t have much time to read while we’re in the middle of covering fashion shows, so I was excited to dive back into the pile of articles and books that have been waiting for me. Okay, so some of my choices might have been mistakes. I really shouldn’t even open an article with a title like: 3 Mistakes Professional Photographers Make That Could Ruin Their Career. I found the article on Modern Lens Magazine, which had copied it from Lightstalking.

The article very briefly addresses three basic mistakes:

Inability to say no
Not improving
Giving clients too much control

So, address those issues and everything is rosy, right? If those are the biggest problems a professional photographer has then it should be easy to correct and start making money. Hundreds of my would-be colleagues are already thinking how the article might apply to them while simultaneously refusing to admit that they make any mistakes at all. We are a rather silly lot when one gets right down to it.

I don’t have a problem with the actual content of the article. What bothers me is the inference that there are only three mistakes that are ruining our business. Fact is, we’re so error-prone (as a group, not you individually, you’re cool because you’re reading this article), that it is a miracle any of us make a profit at all. Those who do make a decent living aren’t error-free, either. They’ve simply learned how to either work around their mistakes or turn their mistakes into customer benefits; enhanced services if you want to think of it that way. We’re all fallible.

Mistakes We Could Make

I’m not sure there is any real benefit to calling out specific mistakes photographers make and saying, “Hey, you, the guy with the viewfinder imprint permanently etched on his face, stop doing that thing you’re doing.” If we are really that oblivious to our problems then we have significantly larger issues we need to address. Professional counseling is highly recommended. Goofs and foul-ups that we’ve already committed are in the past. What we need to avoid are the things that can really ruin our business in the future. A few things that come to mind are:

Calling the client a jackass, even if they are
Setting a call time for 6:00 AM but sending an assistant and not showing up yourself until 10
Screaming at the President’s security team
Drop kicking the client’s yappy Pomeranian
Completely destroying the paint job on client’s $250,000 sports car by insisting that the only way to get the perfect shot is to stand on top of the automobile
Attempting to take photos on the tarmac of an international airport without permission
Bringing your preschool-aged children and letting them eat chocolate as they wander through the racks of designer clothes
Telling everyone on set just exactly how you would bang the model if given the opportunity
Dragging power cords for you lights through a large puddle in which multiple people are standing
Tripping a model because you didn’t like the way she walked
Throwing things onto the runway while a fashion show is in progress
Eating the lunch that was delivered specifically for your client

Yes, every last one of those this has happened. Yes, in each case the photographer’s career was ruined. You’ve been warned. Don’t do these things.

Mistakes We Should Make

Another reason we probably should be careful about calling out photographers’ mistakes is that there are a few “mistakes” that we actually should make. Sure, they don’t put any money in our wallets, but they put good vibes out into the universe, make people smile, and keep us all from becoming the surly old grouch that I already am. Some of the things that come to mind are:

Taking excessive pictures of kittens
Taking excessive pictures of kittens with small children
Moving a shoot to protect an endangered environment even if there’s no reasonable substitute
Giving away pictures to non-profits, without credit, because it helps what they’re doing
Getting involved and caring about the lives of the people on your team, especially if you consistently use the same team
Going over budget because you paused the shoot to help victims of a nearby traffic accident
Taking as many pictures of puppies as you do kittens
Going on vacation and not taking your professional camera
Feeding the models
Trying something new when you already know it probably won’t work
Let a rookie use your best camera for a few frames

There are probably other things I could add to this list but I don’t want you thinking I’m getting soft or anything. The point is, any of the things on that list could end in disaster, especially if you ‘re surrounded by people who don’t like kittens and puppies. Of course, I might ask why in the world you tolerate people who don’t like kittens and puppies; that could be a mistake as well.

Perfection Doesn’t Happen

Look, if you’re trying to be the perfect photographer who does everything exactly right, stop. You’re not going to make it. In fact, you’re more likely to kill yourself trying. We all make plenty of mistakes. Do the best that you can and deal with the mistakes as they happen. Learn as you go and share when it makes sense.

However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that just addressing the three or four things on a list inherently makes you a better photographer. Relax. Be yourself. The person who wrote that article isn’t perfect either.

Editorial / PotD / Social Commentary

Regrets, We’ve All Had A Few, But Then—

October 6, 2016

charles i. letbetter - regrets, we've had a few

Regrets? I think everyone has regrets, and people who say they haven’t are either liars… or narcissists. —Lee Radziwill

charles i. letbetter - Regrets, we all have a few

Regrets are motivational because we can’t fix them. They are permanent reminders we need to do better.

Does anyone else hear Frank Sinatra in their head? I don’t think there’s any escaping that. His song might be part of the issue here.

We have, I believe, a problem owning up to our regrets. There has been a line of popular philosophy the past several years that thinks we should live life with no regrets, that we learn as we go and whatever happens is exactly what was supposed to happen. Such thinking is, in my opinion, complete and utter horseshit. There’s a difference between simply making a mistake and doing something we regret. Regrets can’t be fixed. Regrets are forever.

What got me thinking along this line was an article in Marie Claire about women who regret having children. The article caught my eye because I know some of these women. They both became pregnant while on birth control. They never intended to have children. These women knew in advance that they did not have the temperament to be good mothers. Yet, they allowed family, friends, and/or religion to bully them into keeping the kids. Now, they regret having given in. They feel trapped in a life they never wanted, that arguably should never have happened. Consequence after consequence reminds them that their life was meant to be different. These women really understand the inescapability of regrets.

Regrets happen. Ignore them if you want, but there are lessons to be learned here if we take a moment and pay attention. Don’t shove that regret in the back of your mind and forget. Let it guide you.

Regrets Are Different From Mistakes

Imagine how differently My Way would sound if Frank sang, “Mistakes, I’ve made a few …” It’s just not the same, is it?

Why? Because there is a fundamental difference between mistakes and regrets: Regrets can’t be fixed. The consequences of your actions or inaction are irreversible. Nothing you do makes up for your error. You’re stuck.

Mistakes, on the other hand, might have difficult and long-term consequences, but you have an ability to make amends for the wrong-doing. Let’s say, for example, that in the haze of a misguided youth one commits an act of vandalism. Sure, what you did was wrong, but there are things one can do to rectify the situation. One might repair or replace what was broken, repay a property or business owner, and clean up any mess that was made. Life moves on, lesson learned. Someone says, “Hey, we all make mistakes,” and we put the event in the back of our minds.

Suppose, however, that in committing that act of vandalism one’s actions resulted in the death of someone else. You didn’t intend for anyone to get hurt, but it happened and it was your fault. Nothing you do will ever bring that person back. Even if you take that person’s place, do their work, take care of their family, behave like a model citizen the rest of your life, nothing replaces the soul your actions terminated. Nothing. Ever. That’s a regret. Regrets never go away.

Hopefully, one gets through life with few regrets. Certainly, most of us don’t have the burden of being responsible for someone else’s death. Those we have, though, we need to address and accept.

Facing A Harsh Reality

What do you really regret? When one is asked that question our tendency is to mull over some of our larger mistakes. Mine would be going through my youth trying to be who I thought my parents wanted me to be rather than being myself. A lot of time and energy and money was wasted on things that I never really wanted. Opportunities were missed. Yet, over the years I’ve been able to rectify that problem. Who I am now is who I want to be. Sure, I cannot regain my youth, but I am not bound by the errors in judgment I made when I was 15. Do I wish I had done things differently? Sure, but those were mistakes, not regrets.

My biggest regret is not listening to the stories being told, especially those my parents had to tell. Only after they passed did I begin to realize all the questions that we never asked, the lessons we never had a chance to learn. I can’t get that back. Those stories are all gone, lost to eternity because I wasn’t paying attention. Was the action excusable? No, I knew what I wasn’t doing. We even talked about the need to sit down and record conversations, but we never made the effort for that to actually happen.

Regrets don’t have to be huge, they don’t have to be horrific. Regrets do alter lives, though, and the effects are permanent. Facing them doesn’t give us the ability to change the outcome or make amends. However, accepting our regrets lays the foundation for what we do next with our lives. Our regrets tell us what we must change, what to do differently as we move forward with our lives.

Escaping The Chains

Once we deal with the reality of our regrets, we are then challenged to not become enslaved by them. For the women who regret having children, they struggle to regain their lives, their sense of self-worth. I remember one young woman whose child died at the hands of an abusive husband. For her, the regret of not leaving and protecting her baby was insurmountable and after five years of struggle she committed suicide. Dealing with regrets isn’t always life-altering, but it certainly can be.

What we must understand about regrets is that while lives might be changed by our actions, we are still in control of what happens next. We can’t change the past, but the future we build is our own. Regrets give us the ability to change not only our lives, but perhaps the lives of others.

Each of the women in the Marie Claire article thought they were alone, that they were the only one who ever regretted having children. As they spoke up, though, they discovered that others felt the same way and they all needed help coping with that regret. A community was formed. Books were written. New mothers now have resources to help them because of how others dealt with their regrets.

What we learn and how we respond to our regrets is going to be different for everyone, but the one thing for certain is that we must be willing to move beyond them. Regrets might change our lives but they should never stop them.

PotD / Status

Making The Most Out Of Humpday

October 5, 2016

You don’t have to have a hard-on to bungee jump.—Andrew in Humpday (2009)

charles i. letbetter - Making the best out of humpday

Wednesday, aka Humpday, is a marker: your week is half done. You are going to make it.

I have had a Nina Simone song stuck in my head the past few days and it won’t leave. I step outside, look up, and it’s there:

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel.

It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me yeah
… And I’m feeling good.

It really is a lovely song, but when you look up and realize that those birds you see flying up there are actually turkey vultures, then you get a slightly uncomfortable feeling that maybe we’re not feeling so good after all.

Happy Humpday. This is the last day of Paris Fashion Week. We’ve already reviewed the new Louis Vuitton collection this morning, which was rather cool. Only one more to go and we’re done until February. We can do this, right?

Oh, wait, the kids are home for fall break. There’s no napping today. Instead, we’ll have to do something creative like bake cookies or draw pictures. They helped me make peach cobbler yesterday, which didn’t go too badly. The results were edible. Fighting over who gets to measure the next ingredient gets a bit tiresome, though. Maybe I can convince them to take a long walk.

I don’t mean that as evil as it sounds.

How do we make the most out of Humpday? I know Kat’s struggling, too. Wednesdays can be really rough. We’re still too far from the weekend. Additional stimulus is necessary if we’re going to avoid killing someone. What ever shall we do?

A Little Bit Of Day Music

How anyone makes it through a Humpday without music I don’t know. When we hit this point in the week it takes some serious sounds to keep me moving. Does it really matter if I dance like a one-legged ostrich? No, not at all. We need some serious sounds in our lives to keep us going. Here are a few suggestions:

Yeah, you know I had to slip that last one in there. It really is a cool song. Just try to not think about the vultures.

A Little Light Reading

You know how Wednesdays can be, sometimes you need to just step away before things get violent. The problem is that you really don’t have the time to get immersed in a good book. Someone has to do all the work that no one else is touching. You’ll also need to fix the fuckups that were left for you. There’s no way you can sneak off for the entire afternoon. What you need is something short and distracting. Do we have suggestions, damn straight we do. These are about as distracting as we could find.

You might start with What Sex Means For World Peace. No, it’s not scandalous. This is real foreign policy talk going on here. If we want world peace we need to focus more on women’s rights.

… the very best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is not its level of wealth, its level of democracy, or its ethno-religious identity; the best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is how well its women are treated. What’s more, democracies with higher levels of violence against women are as insecure and unstable as nondemocracies.

If that doesn’t work for you, then perhaps you can try something a little more provocative such as A Professional Sex Toy Tester’s Guide To Buying A Vibrator. Why? Consider this:

Why, if existing rabbits and dildos are doing such a good job at getting us off, do we need more? “As women become more comfortable with the concept of using toys, the technologies and materials that we might use to create them develop too,” says Jaques. So there’s always room for a new favourite to make its mark. At Lovehoney, they hold regular “gap analysis” meetings,where the boardroom walls are plastered with hundreds of polaroids of their current toy range to identify what’s missing. “We also look to other industries and markets for new ideas,”explains Jaques. “You’d be surprised how many of our toys have been inspired by a power tool or communications device.”

Now, some of you take Humpday rather literally, so for those of you in that camp, I might suggest 11 Ways to Make Doggy Style Even SEXIER. Nope, I’m not going to comment.

A Little Light Exercise

You don’t want to overdo it, of course, but getting out and taking a walk really isn’t a bad idea. Yeah, there may be a chance of rain late this afternoon, but for most the day the temperature is going to be lovely. Getting out of wherever for a minute or two gives you a chance to step away from the stress and the people causing it and breathe. You don’t need to work up a sweat, mind you. That could make things uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Again, it’s that whole going-back-to-the-office thing that you have to keep in mind. A gentle stroll for ten minutes or so, roughly the same amount of time someone else might spend smoking a cigarette, should be just about right. You can then go back in with a clearer head and power through the rest of your Humpday without any serious problems.

Of course, the ultimate experience here might be to walk to the nearest coffee shop and grab a cup. The walk, the caffeine, the fresh air, all sound like the perfect recipe to keep your hands off the throat of that lazy, no-good … uhm, well, you know who.

We Can Do This

We’re strong. We’ve been through weeks worse than this and survived. Only two more days after this one and you have the weekend. Or something. If you don’t have the weekend, there’s surely a break for you out there somewhere. Look for it. Set a goal. You’re getting closer with every passing second.

And if that doesn’t work, I have a shovel. We’ll bury the bodies and pretend nothing ever happened. Happy Humpday.

Art / Fashion / PotD

Why A Fashion Show Is Still Important

October 4, 2016

No one has ever found a solution for not doing a fashion show. —Anna Sui

charles i. letbetter - WhyA Fashion Show Is Still IMportant

I have more than one reason for covering fashion show after fashion show. They really do matter.

I’m sitting here still somewhat bleary-eyed, despite being on my third cup of coffee. The Chanel fashion show just ended a few minutes ago in Paris. I’m waiting on still images before I begin writing my review for Pattern. This season is almost over. My body can feel it. Relief, and sleep, is near.

Why do I keep doing this? Twice a year, I completely upend my life and my sleep schedule to cover four weeks of fashion show after fashion show. A couple of years ago, I tried watching them all, over 200, and it nearly killed me. I’ve cut back since then. We will have reviewed about 83 shows this season, having watched roughly 180. That number might seem small compared to the marathon of a couple of years ago. Trust me, though, it is still exhausting.

Why do we do this? Why do I continue to put my body through this torture twice a year? Obviously, there’s nothing in any of these shows that I’m actually going to wear. I’m old, set in my ways, and have a total dad bod. There are only three or four looks that are comfortable on me. That’s not going to change. So, why am I looking at dresses and crop tops and, what the fuck, Karl Lagerfeld opened the show with a couple of robots?

Okay, so on one hand, it’s my job. Not bad work. At the same time, though, there are more important reasons to pay attention to a fashion show. There is a relevance here that is important.

Fashion Is Art

A fashion show is something unique to behold, but what we see on the runway doesn’t just appear out of thin air. Every piece that we see starts with a creative idea on the part of the designer. Many designers, including Lagerfeld, still start with a sketch. They consider shape, color, fabric, form, and function among a number of different influences as they decide how to put together something that is wearable but also interesting.

Once they have a concept, designers then create a pattern and a sample. Often, what one sees in a fashion show is that sample, not yet in production. The sample is the designer’s concept come to life, a chance to see how closely reality can match the idea. Designers deal with issues such as fabric weight and elasticity as they try to pull and pin and tack and sew things into place. Sometimes the concept doesn’t work, the fabric won’t do what the designer wanted. They start over. And over.

The average major-label fashion show contains approximately 45 looks. That’s 45 times the designer has gone through the entire creative process. Of course, large fashion houses have a creative director overseeing large design teams. Without them, the fashion show would never happen. Every step of the way, however, there is artistry in what they do. When art museums display major exhibits of fashion work by leading designers, we begin to see all the creative artistry that is fashion. Seeing the work in a museum always feels a bit too antiseptic for me, though. I’d rather see the fashion show, see the work on the runway, moving, flowing, and being the living art that the designer intended. This is where the excitement is.

Fashion Is Critical To The Economy

Fashion is a $3.3 TRILLION industry. Apparel accounts for a full two percent of the global Gross Domestic Product (GDP). Nearly 60 million people are employed in the manufacture of textiles and clothing alone. That number does not even begin to include all the people employed by the various fashion houses and conglomerates, the retail store employees, or the millions of people involved in behind-the-scene logistics. There is not a country in the industrially developed world that does not depend on fashion as a significant part of its economy.

Stop and think about this: In New York City alone, fashion accounts for some $11 billion dollars in salaries and $2 billion in tax revenue. What do you think would happen if all of a sudden the fashion industry there just up and moved across the border to Toronto? Granted, that’s not likely to happen, but if it did the economic effect on the city of New York would be devastating! Imagine, then, how entire countries such as France and Italy are affected when fashion hits an economic downturn such as it has been experiencing the past two years. The financial scene isn’t pretty.

A fashion show is an indicator not only of how a particular brand is doing, but the overall industry as well. Looking across all the shows we’ve watched this season, we see an industry desperately trying to attract the attention of the world’s largest buying demographic: Millennials. Styles and fabrics have changed. We’ve seen less leather and a lot less fur as Millennials are more likely to care about animal rights. We’ve seen more natural fibers. These are economic decisions as much as they are artistic. We watch a fashion show and we see how global economics affects our lives.

Fashion Is Culture

More than anything else, what we wear expresses who we are. Ask any cultural anthropologist you happen to come across (they’re out there, somewhere) and they’ll tell you that how any given group of people dressed says a lot about their environment, their economy, their values, their level of innovation, their mythologies, and their lifestyles. Fashion isn’t exactly a new invention, after all. From the moment someone figured out that animal hide was good for keeping a body warm, someone was there figuring out how to best shape those hides and then decorating them for various purposes.

What we see in a fashion show is more than a creative vision of one designer. A fashion show puts our entire culture on display. Take, for example, the gradual move we’ve seen over the past few years toward more sexually androgynous looks. As younger generations grapple with the whole concept of gender and its fluidity, their journey is reflected in the clothes they wear. Androgynous fashion reflects a change in traditional concepts of gender roles and expectations. At the same time, we see more designs that are loose-fitting easy to wear, and more accessible to people as their bodies change. Those looks reflect a change in our overall lifestyle and our attitudes about our bodies.

When I watch a fashion show, I’m not picking out a new wardrobe for Kat or styling future photo shoots. I’m looking for trends that represent sometimes subtle and sometimes significant changes in our culture. These changes are important because if we are to relate to each other at all we have to understand that those coming behind us see life quite differently than those of us who are older. They have different values, different expectations, and different goals, all of which is reflected in what they choose to wear.

Looking To The Future

I will be very happy to not wake up at 2:00 AM Thursday morning. As much as I enjoy fashion weeks, the toll it takes on my body is grueling and it doesn’t help my family relationships much either. Kat says I’m especially grouchy when watching a fashion show. Even the little ones are happy when my schedule is back to normal. Yet, come February, we’ll do it all again.

As the face of fashion is constantly changing and the methods and spectacle of putting on a fashion show continue to morph, I fail to see any point in the near future where a fashion show isn’t important. We need that runway. We need to see the artistry, the economics, and the culture. Fashion is important to all of us, to our world, to our lives.

Why would I want to ever not be a part of something so very important? As long as I can stay awake, we’ll be there. Every season.

Current Issues / PotD

The Value Of A Well Considered Opinion

October 3, 2016

Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance. —Plato

When we think we know it all is when the opinion of someone else may matter most.

“You’re never as smart as you think you are. There is always someone who knows more and understands better than you. Pay attention to those people.”

The words of my late father seem more applicable today than ever. I still remember sitting next to him as he warned me about opening my mouth too soon, a bad habit I’ve had since high school.

“Almost everyone knows at least one thing you don’t,” he warned. “Other people’s opinions may seem foolish and uninformed, but dismissing the well-considered opinions of those who are more experienced, study deeper, and have better access to information only shows your ignorance, not theirs.”

There are days I’m still not sure I’ve adequately learned that lesson. I’m careful about whose opinions I consider. “Consider the source,” is the advice that comes with much of what I read. Of the millions of opinions scattered across the Internet, most leave me skeptical of either their facts or their intentions.

Social media makes it easy to put ourselves in an echo chamber. If we don’t like what someone is saying, we can simply block them, ignoring everything they might have to say. Sometimes that act is necessary in order to avoid constant streams of drivel. When we block someone, though, simply because they have opinions contrary to ours we put our own level of understanding and knowledge at risk. We need the contrasting thought. We need friction against our own opinion.

Knowing Which Opinion To Trust

When one goes to apply for a new job, the prospective employer almost always asks for references. We choose those references based upon the assumption that those people say good things about us when asked. However, have you ever had a reference that wasn’t as positive about your skills as you’d hoped? Maybe you didn’t get the job because someone you trusted mentioned your perpetual habit of being late or not always following through on your promises. Perhaps they even lied.

One of the primary reasons we’ve come to disregard the opinions of others is because too often we find them self-serving, frequently uninformed, and too often void of any truth. The Internet has given everyone a voice, but not every voice needs to be heard on every topic. Does someone sitting in a basement in Queens really understand the political complexities of the ongoing war in Columbia? Can a person who barely managed to graduate high school actually hold a reasonable opinion on the economy?

The answer to both questions is yes, they can. The upside of the Internet is that it allows people to study things and obtain a level of knowledge without having to suffer through traditional means of education. A person who might have nearly flunked out of school because of bad grades in English and History might have a natural affinity for numbers and the nuances of economic theory. The basement dweller has the ability to reach out and talk directly to people on both sides of the equation in Columbia, side-stepping all the political protocols of the State Department. Look below superficial appearances and those opinions we’ve thrown away might actually have merit.

When An Opinion Really Matters

The second challenge of opinions is understanding whose opinion matters when. I could sit here all day and talk about feminism and women’s rights, but the value of my opinion on that topic is limited because I’m not female. I don’t have those experiences that women face on a regular basis, and cannot fully understand what they go through because no one is going to treat me as a female. The same applies to race. I hurt when I see the injustices levied against people of color, but when speaking on the matter my opinion is limited. I might know a lot about a topic, but if I can’t possibly experience what other people experience my opinion loses value.

A well-considered opinion is one that has had those experiences. I respect the opinions of Congressman John Lewis on matters of race because he has been there on the front lines. He felt the spray. He has the scars. Congressman Lewis understands the situation at a level I cannot begin to comprehend. I respect Kat’s opinion on matters of feminism and sexual identity because she has both feet in those arenas right now. She is enduring those experiences and deals with the challenges at a level I can never know for myself. The opinion of someone who has been there is always stronger than that of the person who merely observed.

Equally important, though, are the opinions of those who speak for those who would not be heard. Reporters and advocates for causes and regarding situations where those who endure the experience are not able to speak for themselves. Those who are hungry, homeless, beaten, torn from their homes, left with nothing. Those who go and look, who are hands-on in helping those in need, who immerse themselves in hostile situations, have opinions we need to trust.

Listening To The Chorus

Perhaps most important right now, in this political climate, is listening to the opinions of diverse people who agree on issues even when it does not necessarily serve them well. Climatologists, for example, did not quickly or easily support the concept of global warming. They have an understanding of weather cycles and know that some changes are inevitable. But as more of them take up the cause and warn of the dangers, theirs is a voice we do well to heed.

Perhaps the strongest chorus at the moment is that of newspaper editorial boards regarding the upcoming presidential elections. Most seasons, we expect their endorsements to follow along party lines. Conservative papers endorse the Republican candidate. Liberal papers endorse the Democratic candidate. Independent papers endorse a third party. For as long as I can remember, that has been how endorsements flow. There’s rarely any surprise.

That history does not hold true this season, though. Look at the aggregators and we see headlines like these:

After 148 Years, The San Diego Union-Tribune Endorses A Democrat For President

For The First Time In Its 126-Year History, This Newspaper Endorsed A Democrat

There are dozens of others who have followed suit, newspaper editorial boards who understand the effect of politics on their readers better than anyone. When they all start leaning in the same direction, we need to listen.

We Don’t Know Much

We are fooling ourselves when we think that what we read in our social media newsfeeds constitutes being informed on a subject. Our ignorance runs much deeper than anyone cares to admit. Egos do a great job of making us believe that we’re smart enough, that we don’t need to listen to anyone else’s opinions. We can even find plenty of quotes urging us to ignore the detractors, be our own person, and stand up what we want.

We couldn’t be any more stupid than when we ignore the well-considered opinions of others. Especially right now.

Maybe we should do more than look at headlines as they pass. Perhaps we should give ourselves more time to actually read, and think about what we’re reading.

A well-considered opinion has value that cannot be matched by our own understanding. We would do well to close our own mouths more often and listen.

photography

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don’t worry it’s not the end of the world. —Jay London

What We Say Isn’t Always What We’re Thinking

You are too expensive. I can’t afford you.

I just want a disk of images

Just put them online for us to look at

What is the cheapest way I can get an image for Facebook?

Can I see all the photos?

You don’t mind that I brought all of our cousins along, do you?

We really love our clients.

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How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness, how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? —Dr. Seuss

This Is Supposed To Be A Commercial

A Little Relationship Advice

Think Of It As Art That Moves

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The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. —Mahatma Gandhi

We’ve All Been There, Sort Of

Some Things We Can’t Fix

Identifying What Really Happened

Mistakes Don’t Make You A Bad Person

You Can Start Over

Learn From Your Mistakes

Borrowed Time

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You can only generate ideas when you put pencil to paper, brush to canvas… when you actually do something physical. —Twyla Tharp

Everyone’s Online Now, Aren’t They?

But Wait, Not Everyone Wants Digital Content

How Is That Even Possible?

Striking The Right Balance

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Our culture is more shaped by the arts and humanities than it often is by politics. —Jim Leach

Relying On The Voice Of Others

Voices Not Expected

Wait, There’s More

What I’m Missing

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When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. —Marcus Aurelius

A Matter Of Perspective

Looking To The Future

What Science May Yield

Alive And Functioning

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Oh, half of what’s out there is worthless. The only pictures I like are the ones I’ve taken. —William Eggleston

The Color Of Emotion

Color In A Black And White World

Analysis Paralysis

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Any form of over-indulgence creates within the body warning signs of destruction. —Mother Angelica

You Are Not As Helpless As You Think

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I think artists are always investigating how to have an economic, political platform. —Jeff Koons

Love As Domestic Policy

Love As Economic Policy

Love As Foreign Policy

Love As Education Policy

Love As Healthcare Policy

Love And The Interior

Love As Social Policy

Starting A Conversation

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Let’s face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. —Audrey Hepburn

The Science Behind It All

All Things In Moderation

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People think I’m trying to make a fashion statement because I never wear a bra. It’s really that I’m a tomboy at heart. —Cameron Diaz

Reasons For Not Wearing A Bra

Don’t Take My Word For It

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