Funny how I can sit down at the desk first thing of the morning and think of all the things I’m going to get done, but by the time I’ve read through the news, my brain switches to, “We need to lie back down.” Anything that needs to be done outside needs to happen today, while the temperatures are near 70. Thursday’s high is 38, which will feel even colder if it snows. Seasonal temps are upon us for the rest of the week. It’s time to get ready.
Hopefully, today will be better than yesterday. I struggled to stay upright for as little as an hour and ended up spending most of the day in bed. At one point, I thought I was hearing voices again, but it turned out to just be the program that Kat was watching. I did finally get through to the neurologist’s office but the soonest they can get me in is January 29. I’m on a waiting list should a cancellation open a spot before then. The insurance company, however, still hasn’t called back. I’m not surprised.
The big news for this week, month, and year is that my oldest, Zach, finally got around to asking his girlfriend, Meg, to marry him! We knew this moment was coming, we just didn’t know when. Of course, she said yes! This brings about an exciting new season in all of our lives. No, they’ve not set a date yet, but I expect that to be coming soon. I stop now and remember that precious little tow-headed boy I once carried on my shoulders. I couldn’t be more excited!
By the way, I still have two more adult boys living with their mom. Please, feel free to take them off her hands. They’re nice guys, and perhaps that’s part of the problem. Nice guys still have a problem getting noticed because, as much as anything, they don’t want to bother anyone. Well, that and they spend an inordinate amount of time playing video games. Blame their grandparents for that. I never wanted them to get started.
Kat was finally able to see her PCP yesterday. The news is cautious. He told her that she would likely have difficulty breathing for months. That means everyone is going to have to be patient with her. Even with a schedule of only taking two clients a day, she comes home thoroughly exhausted and often falls asleep before she’s had time to eat dinner. Stress over the cumulative holidays and birthdays doesn’t help, either. She discovered yesterday that she and the kids will be doing two Thanksgivings. We’ll have ours early, probably Wednesday depending on how she and I feel next week. I think we have everything we need from a food perspective.
Paying the bills coming due is another matter. Everything hits all at once here at the end of the month and I don’t know when my check will arrive. Kat’s still waiting for a check she deposited last week to clear. I know I have nearly $200 in bills coming out before the first of the month. The way holidays hit the calendar this year, I may not get paid until December 2 or 3. We greatly appreciate the help we’ve had so far. If anyone else wants to contribute, my Venmo is @C_I_Letbetter and CashApp is $ciletbetter.
Today would have been my father’s 95th birthday. I’ve mentioned in previous years how disappointed he would be in world events. As I was combing through local news this morning, I saw this headline: ‘I have fallen short’ | Indiana Sen. Taylor addresses sexual harassment allegations. I was reminded of Poppa’s response to a tearful Jimmy Swaggart apologizing for a cheating scandal. “You can fool people all you want, but you can’t fool God.” I miss his balanced wisdom. In his honor, there will be ice cream today.
With winter rapidly approaching, it’s not surprising to see escalations rising in Russia and Ukraine. In the short time since I sat down here, Ukraine has apparently fired six US-made missiles into Russia. On Russia’s side, Putin has signed a new nuclear doctrine, lowering the bar for the conditions allowing the use of nuclear weapons. What might be more terrifying, though, is that Russia has increased production of radiation-resistant mobile bomb shelters. Why would they do that if they weren’t planning on needing them? Winters are notoriously difficult in both countries, so don’t be surprised to see them making aggressive maneuvers before the end of the year.
Lebanon and Hezbollah have approved the draft of a cease-fire agreement, but it’s unclear yet whether Israel will go along. So far, Netanyahu has been ferociously against such moves, firmly stating that there would be no rest until their goals are met. Knowing that he has staunch allies in the coming Republican administration is likely to bolster the Prime Minister’s defiance. Meanwhile, aid has been stripped from 100 trucks carrying food into Gaza. Looters are to blame. This is further proof that war brings out the worst of humanity. They are like cockroaches crawling out from under cracks in the molding.
There is so much more we could discuss, but I’m feeling the pressure from this damn headache closing in quickly. Among things worth noting, a Judge struck down Wyoming abortion laws, including an explicit ban on pills to end pregnancy while Orders for Morning-After Pills and Abortion Pills Rose After Trump’s Election. The NYC priest who allowed Sabrina Carpenter to shoot a music video in the church was further stripped of duties. Oh, and part of the roof at AT&T Stadium collapsed last night, foreshadowing another Cowboys loss.
I apologize for not having more stamina. The persistence of this headache has worn me down.
If only more coffee could be enough to solve all the problems.
We are running on fumes and coffee grounds this morning as I’m trying to keep my eyes open after what might have been two hours of sleep last night if it’s all stitched together. Kat didn’t fare much better. Making matters all the more frustrating were the animals that woke us 30 minutes earlier than normal. I took the dogs outside and even the neighbor’s rooster was being annoyingly loud. I might say that I’m looking forward to going back to sleep, but I can’t. I have to try to get an appointment with the neurologist and wait for the insurance company to call back. I’m relatively certain that neither of those things will happen on a schedule I find satisfactory.
Should I buy milk or pay the bills? I can do one or the other but not both. If you feel inclined to help, my Venmo is @C_I_Letbetter, and CashApp is $ciletbetter. No obligation. I know this is a tight time of the year for everyone’s budget.
Spirit Airlines filed for bankruptcy this morning. I know how they feel.
The Russia/Ukraine war is about to get nastier. After 1,000 days of this mess, people on both sides of the ever-moving lines are sick and tired of the whole thing.
45 pro-democracy activists face sentencing in Hong Kong. When having a different political opinion becomes a crime, is anyone safe?
Trump’s Pentagon pick paid woman after sex assault allegation but denies wrongdoing. No third-party vetting was done. Standard FBI background checks were skipped. Were you expecting anything different from a racist, rapist felon?
Air pollution in Delhi is fifty times the safe limit. Meanwhile, the US looks to gut clean air laws. Please, make it all make sense.
One cruise line is offering a four-year escape for those who want it. I suppose that’s fine for those who have the cash to pay for four years of living in advance. Most of us are just trying to pay for our next meal.
Today is the anniversary of the 1978 Jonestown Massacre, and now we can understand why. Remember, Jim Jones got his start right here in Indy.
Hurricane season isn’t over. Why would it be with such an abundance of hot air over Florida?
Black, Hispanic, and LGBTQIA+ people are getting threatening texts again. Don’t expect it to stop. This is a new reality and we’ve no choice but to stand up to this racism. Neo-Nazis marched on Columbus, OH over the weekend as well. Sure, “officials” condemned the action, but who the fuck approved that permit? When are we going to put these idiots in the ground? Are we going to wait and let them shoot first? Bad idea.
Tickets for European sex parties are on the rise by as much as 500 percent. Disclaimer, we’re members of one of the organizing entities mentioned in the article. Politics isn’t the only reason these events are popular.
The NY Times says social media is veering to the right. This is a fixable problem. Be loud. Be proud. Ban the trolls.
We’ve got rain moving in overnight and a decent chance of snow by Thursday. If you thought you were miserable this morning, just wait, it gets worse.
Water and gas service returned just before noon yesterday. Once everyone had pooped, the kids each retreated to their respective rooms and I barely saw either of them the rest of the day. I went to bed and died until time for the Penn St/Purdue game. I made it to halftime, barely. I mean, once Morrissette caught a would-be touchdown out of bounds because he was confused by the home-field paint job, the game was pretty much over. Here’s the clip:
After that, I put frozen chicken enchiladas in the oven for dinner and struggled to stay awake until they were done. I was in bed by 7:30. Solaris climbed onto my shoulder and there he stayed for the duration of the night.
G was the only one who seemed to have any life in him yesterday. The boy actually made his own coffee so that he could stay awake playing games. I know this because there were still a couple of cups’ worth left in the pot this morning. Hey, it was Saturday. There’s no reason for him to be up early today. The kid’s entitled to some fun.
I wish I could adequately explain how horrifyingly painful this headache is. The neurologist told me years ago that I don’t have migraines, but rather cluster headaches. I know how those feel and this isn’t that. I wish it were. I know how to treat cluster headaches. Nothing seems to be working. OTC meds are useless. Changes in diet (within the narrow range in which that is possible) have yielded no results. I cry through the night. I’d scream if I thought it would do any good. Taking the dogs outside is a dangerous proposition for fear that I might get too dizzy and fall. I dare not leave my phone behind, ever.
I want to say “thank you” to those who sent a bit of help yesterday. Unfortunately, I must repeat the request. My details are, Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter, and CashApp: $ciletbetter. Kat only has Venmo: @Katherine-Franson85.
Two weeks from today I turn 64. I don’t feel like celebrating at the moment. Perhaps I will by then. I’m definitely not doing a photoshoot this year (iykyk). But with G’s birthday and Thanksgiving the week before and end-of-the-month bills, can we afford to do anything at all? I’m not sure we can. The holidays are looking incredibly lean.
I don’t feel like typing anymore this morning. I’m sorry.
We have no gas. We have no water. That means we have no heat and the toilet can’t be flushed. Citizens Utility says they’ll have service restored sometime today, but we have no idea exactly when. I’m working on the dregs of leftover coffee from yesterday. The temperature inside the house is at 64 and continues to fall. At least we have power. A problem at a substation caused approximately 36,000 people in Northeast Indy to lose power yesterday. AES says that all power has been restored, but this is the second time this week the city has been hit with a major outage.
Instinct says to abandon the house until the utilities are restored. We can’t do that for a couple of reasons. First, someone has to be here when the gas is turned back on. They have to make sure things don’t go boom. Second, we can’t afford to leave. We can’t afford anything. I secured a gallon of milk and a bag of cat food before everything went sideways yesterday. I hope that’s enough to see us through the end of the month because there’s absolutely nothing left. Never mind that G’s 16th birthday is the 26th and Thanksgiving is two days later. We have to work with what we have.
If you want to help, and I seriously feel bad about asking, our request is that you send any help through either Venmo or CashApp. Please do not use Zelle as that could impact my social security. My Venmo is @C_I_Letbetter and CashApp is $ciletbetter. Kat’s Venmo is @Katherine-Franson85. Any amount of assistance is appreciated.
Yesterday was a zoo even before the utility outage. My doctor’s office called shortly after 8:00 and asked if I was still having problems with the headache. Of course, I was, as I still am today. But instead of the referral to Neurology I had requested, I was told to go to the hospital. Now. So, we went to the hospital, dashing any hopes Kat might have had for a quiet morning. Fortunately, the waiting area was empty when we arrived allowing me to be seen quickly. They drew blood and ordered a CT scan. I could have told them the results without going to all the trouble. The CT scan showed no signs of hemorrhage, injury, or tumor. The bloodwork was all completely normal. Three and a half hours, plus drive time and considerable expense were wasted to make the insurance company happy.
We got home just in time for Kat to down a couple of slices of leftover pieces before heading to the salon. I waited for the milk and cat food, then went to bed not having any idea that our utilities were already out.
Then, the insurance company finally called. No, this wasn’t the call I had requested last week. This was a call that was supposed to happen in July. The representative was horrified when I explained my situation, contacted her supervisor, and promised that a case manager would call “within 24 hours.” Naturally, by this time it was after 2:00 on a Friday afternoon. We both acknowledged that it would likely be Monday before I would get a call. We’ll see if anything happens.
Fortunately, Kat’s sternly worded email to Eskanazi Health had more impact. She now has an appointment with her PCP on Monday. She had a rough night with a couple of serious bouts of coughing. She and Tipper both were up eating at 3:30 AM. We’re hopeful that her visit with the doctor will shed some light on whether she’s making progress or not, and give her some assistance with the pain.
Meanwhile, my head still hurts like crazy. I’m keeping the room relatively dark to keep it from getting any worse. Nothing OTC helps and Tylenol is rough on the kidneys. My kidneys are already fighting for life because of the chemo and diabetes. There’s no point taking anything else that might compromise them, especially when it’s not going to work. I did finally get the referral to Neurology, but when I called, the automated system asked for an extension. I don’t know anyone’s extension, so I hit 0. That resulted in another recording saying that the “network operator” was not available. The next message said that the backup operator was not available. Please call back. No chance to leave a message for anyone. Perhaps they took the afternoon off. I’ll have to try again on Monday.
Could things get worse? Oh yeah, they always can. Weather forecasts for next week show temperatures plummeting on Wednesday and a possible chance for the first snow of the season on Thursday. Back when people in this region measured snow in feet, not inches, they understood how to drive on the white stuff. It’s been 13 years since we’ve seen that significant of snowfall, however. In the interim, a whole generation of new drivers have gotten their licenses without knowing how to drive on snow and ice. They don’t respect the elements and end up endangering the lives of everyone.
Perhaps it is a good thing I don’t fly. A bullet struck a Southwest jet preparing to take off from Dallas Love Field headed for Indy last night. No one was hurt, but the plane did have to return to the gate and was taken out of service. I’ve not heard whether a replacement was found last night or not. As of this morning, there isn’t an update as to where the bullet might have originated and whether the passenger craft was a target or not. I expect this kind of news from Haiti, where the airport has had to close due to gang violence. Such an event here is extremely unusual.
No, I did not attempt to watch the much-hyped game of patty-cake between a greasy influencer and an elderly champion. We canceled our Netflix subscription a couple of years ago when the price kept going up every time we got a new bill. Even if we had the service, which suffered from an overload of people who slowed down their lives to watch the train wreck, I still wouldn’t have tuned in. I find events such as this to be debased and gratuitous, appealing to the lowest and least desirable of human traits. Yes, I’m definitely looking down at those who watched.
Meanwhile, The daughters of Malcolm X sued the CIA, FBI, and NYPD over his assassination. There’s no way this doesn’t get nasty. The fact that the FBI and CIA kept extensive files on black leaders they considered “potentially troublesome” is widely known at this point. That most, if not all, of the persons involved in the 1965 assassination are likely dead by now, only complicates matters. Conjecture isn’t admissible in court. Written documents are, and if the daughters have enough of those documents, from whatever sources, an FBI gutted by a vengeful president could take a serious hit. Buy your popcorn now.
All week long, scientists at every level and in every field have been wringing their hands over coming changes to various organizations tasked with the research that keeps us all healthy. There are conflicts of interest with everyone who’s been nominated thus far. We can only guess whether they’ll all pass the rigors of Senate approval, but the president-elect has threatened retribution if they don’t. You might want to buy an extra box of that popcorn.
This is where we’re at this morning. Everything in my body says it’s time for a nap, but I don’t dare just in case Citizen’s decides to show up. My head is screaming at me. I know it’s Saturday and there’s no question that the outcome of the IU/Ohio State game will reshape the college football landscape, but something’s going to have to improve before I can handle watching any of the games.
And I’m now out of coffee. Please, help.
The page-shifting problem that drove me nuts yesterday has yet to be resolved, making typing out anything of length almost nauseating. I have no idea, nor do I know how to check, whether this is a WordPress issue or a theme issue. Depending on when you view this, you may see a different theme as I try to figure out the problem. Ugh.
Kat and I are both waiting to hear back from our doctors. The difference is that I’m already having a conversation with my PCP’s nurse as we try to figure out what’s going on with the hallucinations. Kat, on the other hand, has been trying for two weeks to get her PCP’s office to give her a follow-up appointment as required by the hospital. Yesterday, a receptionist at her PCP’s office told her she would, “Just have to wait until her December 18 telephone appointment.” Uhm, she needs blood tests to make sure the blood thinners are working correctly. HOW THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU DO BLOOD TESTS OVER THE FUCKING PHONE?
By the way, it’s probably worth mentioning that my PCP is with Community Health Network, while Kat’s is with Eskanazi Health Services. Make of that what you will.
The kids were doing okay. G was happily singing both in and out of the shower this morning. Tipper, however, burned her hand when the bowl of potato soup she was having for breakfast (don’t ask) spilled over. That’s a helluva way for anyone to start their morning.
Since this page-shifting thing won’t stop, I’m going to rely on videos to cover most of the news, starting with Stephen Colbert’s take on the dangerous and ridiculous cabinet appointments made yesterday.
Then, who saw this coming?
Too bad North American indigenous tribes don’t have better representation in Congress. Perhaps then we could pull off something like this:
What more do you need to know? Nothing immediately jumps to mind. Oh, but if you want to have that Fried Chicken Thanksgiving we mentioned yesterday, here’s the video for that.
Life is strange right now and I’m not going to pretend that I have any answers. I’m deeply concerned about everything at this point. Grocery prices are not going to go down. Gas prices are almost certainly going back up. Energy costs are going up.
I may start hoarding coffee, just to be safe.
At 10:51 AM yesterday, I was awakened from my nap by the sound of the backdoor opening and shutting. I heard Tipper call me by name, “Charles!” three times. While the kids do get home early on Wednesdays, this was too early. So, I called back, “Tipp? Is that you?” There was no answer.
Concerned, I tossed Solaris from my shoulder (where he sleeps when I’m in bed), and headed for the kitchen, still calling, “Tipp? Is that you?” But there was no one there. There was no indication that anyone had ever been there. The door was shut (thank goodness). The gate between the kitchen and living room was shut. Fat Guy hopped onto the back of the couch and meowed for attention.
Worried that this might be one of those unexplained psychic connections, I sent Tipper a text. Sure, she was in school and she’s not supposed to have her phone in school, but her teachers allow it. I had to ask, “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Why?” she responded.
“I thought I heard you call my name,” I said.
“I’m at school LOL,” was her response.
Well, fuck. After 18 months without them, I’m back to having auditory hallucinations again. Only this time, the cause almost certainly is not the chemo meds. I messaged my oncologist’s nurse practitioner, who suggested contacting my neurologist. I called the neurology office and they said I need a new referral because of the change in insurance. By now, it was 5:15 and the doctor’s office was closed. Requesting the referral was number one on my list of things to do this morning.
I don’t need this added complication in my life right now. Yet, here it is, fucking things up, causing me to question reality. There haven’t been any visual hallucinations, but who the fuck knows what today will bring?
Rain fell throughout the night. More will fall this morning. Medication hasn’t been enough to touch the pain. The animals pushed in close, three cats, two dogs, to prevent me from rolling around all over the bed.
Making matters worse, my editing screen keeps shifting back and forth to the right two pixels as I type. WordPress had a major update yesterday, so I’m assuming that is to blame. The faster I type, the faster the shift, making it a visual frustration. Yes, I tried closing the browser and opening a new one. That didn’t help. So, this entry is going to be considerably shorter than normal.
The kids are fine. Kat’s resting.
Republicans now have control of both houses of Congress, but don’t think that it’s going to be the rubber stamp the Felon wanted. They chose a moderate as Senate leader, and at least one Senator has said that Matt Gaetz’s nomination as Attorney General is DOA. This could get interesting. One news story this morning claims that insiders are already creating a list of Pentagon officials they want fired, presumably to remove any obstacles to illegally using US troops against American citizens. There is a flurry underway to cement the Felon’s authority within the first 100 days of the administration. (Please forgive the lack of links to the stories, but with this infernal shifting it’s impossible to pull off.)
The NYTimes is suggesting friend chicken for Thanksgiving. Seriously. It’s a sizeable argument.
I’m sorry, I need WordPress to fix this shifting problem. My head is about to explode. Maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow.
There is a lot to consider this morning. I chose Willie Nelson’s ‘Stardust’ album to serenade me this morning, and the words of “September Song” seem all too fitting, “Oh, it’s a long long while/From May to December/But the days grow short/When you reach September/When the autumn weather/Turns leaves to flame/One hasn’t got time/For the waiting game/Oh, the days dwindle down/To a precious few
September, November/And these few precious days/I’ll spend with you.”
I’m not sure where to start. Kat had yesterday off and spent it resting up at Brandon’s, away from the cats. I miss having her here, but again, she’s doing what’s best for her. We don’t talk about how close we came to losing her. She has to put herself first. That’s not going to change in the foreseeable future. Her clients have been understanding and supportive. She’s off again today, the only “appointment” being taking G to violin lessons this afternoon. I’ll make potato soup for dinner, which I hope at least feels good going down. The time with her is precious.
G came home from school yesterday determined to be impressive, and he was. Without a pattern, he made an absolutely lovely scarf for a friend, using a soft fabric with a Southwestern design. He measured carefully, sewed magnificently, and finished it off beautifully. I never thought of G as a fashion designer until recently, but if he wants I’m sure he could pull it off with fantastic results.
On the other hand, Tipper came in from school, ate a bowl of cereal, and then retreated to her room, leaving only to use the bathroom. Something is going wrong, but she’s not talking. That is, she’s not talking to me. I have a feeling she’s talking to someone, I’m just not sure that person is giving her the best advice. I have no idea what the appropriate response should be. Each morning, as she leaves early for the bus stop, I tell her that we love her. I wonder on mornings like this if those words fall on deaf ears.
The tightness in my chest won’t go away. Don’t worry, it’s just anxiety. There’s no immediate danger. The pill I take for anxiety is huge, so I doubt that I should ask for anything stronger; it might leave me comatose. There’s little comfort, though. My bones ache terribly. The chemo and changes in the weather work together to make sure the pain never goes away. The fog in my head seems particularly strong this morning.
I have to contact the insurance company today. When I sent them a message last Wednesday, I was told that a case manager would call me within 48 hours. That call never came. I gave them some grace since it was a “holiday” weekend for some. Still, no call. I need to be in an Assisted Living facility so that Kat can address structural issues in the house. I also think that having a nurse handy 24/7 isn’t a bad thing. I’m afraid to take a shower because there’s no one here to even call for help if I fall. I find it interesting that United Healthcare, which is the insurance to which I’m assigned, is trying to buy Amedisys, a large home health company. The Justice Department and four states’ Attorneys General filed an antitrust lawsuit against the insurance giant yesterday in an attempt to stop the deal. How the fuck am I supposed to trust a company knowing full well that they’re far more interested in controlling healthcare and taking the profit than they are concerned over my or anyone else’s legitimate health needs?
I just went to the kitchen to refill my coffee mug, and friends, I don’t feel well. Sitting back down helps, but I’m struggling to stay conscious. Alerts from the bank are constantly reminding me how broke I am. I look at G’s birthday on the 26th and Thanksgiving the day after and wonder how in the world I’m supposed to pull off a major birthday celebration one day and the whole turkey, dressing, and pie thing the next. I’m not asking Kat for help. All we need from her is for her to stay alive. That’s it. I have to do everything else myself. I don’t mind doing it, either, I just don’t know at this juncture how I’m going to do it. I don’t know how I’m going to fix lunch, either. I’m trying to get it together, but my body is fighting back pretty damn hard.
Looking at the news this morning is not helping. A fucking Faux News anchor is the felon’s choice for Defense Secretary. That’s right, let’s put a complete novice in charge of the world’s most powerful military. Please, someone fucking explain to me how that makes a lick of sense. The Pentagon’s most senior officials are right to be concerned. For that matter, every country in the world should be concerned.
Then, the felon went and nominated South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem as Secretary of Homeland Security. This is the same bitch that put down her dog for no good reason. South Dakota’s indigenous tribes won’t let her even set foot on any of their lands. Noem’s daughter got preferential treatment while applying for her Real Estate license, an application that was initially turned down. There is so much corruption following this bitch that it’s going to take an extra moving van just to transport all her conspiracies to D.C.
The nomination that simultaneously scares me and makes my blood boil is Mike Huckabee as Ambassador to Isreal. Why? The former Arkansas governor has long called himself a Zionist, but he’s really a pre-millennialist Southern Baptist convinced that a war with Isreal at the forefront will bring about Armageddon and the mythical Rapture of believers. Ambassadors normally don’t have all that much influence. In fact, it’s generally considered a cushy do-nothing job. Huckabee won’t be content to just sit in some office, though. He’ll be in Netanyahu’s ear, putting money in Israel’s pocket, and pushing for greater war. This idiot cannot be trusted.
Finally, there’s the appointment of fucking Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to head a new “advisory” Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). While this new agency is not an actual government agency with any authority, their whole purpose is to dismantle everything these two idiots consider “Bureaucracy.” Say goodbye to safety regulations, environmental controls, OSHA, and all the things that the government does to protect us from the ruthless and careless greed of corporations. How will this work? Easy. DOGE advises Congress to make changes. The felon’s stooges, Mike Johnson as speaker, and Rick Scott as the Senate’s GOP leader, then turn that advice into legislation that the Republican-controlled Congress passes without question, and the felon then signs it into law. Just that quickly, all our protections are gone.
What can be done to stop this madness? On one hand, Democratic Governors are banding together to stop the felon’s changes from taking effect. Don’t dismiss this effort. Since most of the changes the felon wants to make are implemented at the state level, Governors have the power to “just say no.” The ACLU and other organizations are gearing up to file lawsuits against offending laws as well.
However, Trans people are experiencing a mental health crisis, overwhelming call centers, as they fear that the felon will make good on his threat to roll back protections for the Trans community. We don’t know the extent to which this unhinged administration might attack the broader LGBTQIA+ community as well. No one feels safe.
Justice will take a hit as Jack Smith plans to step down from the Special Counsel’s office before the inauguration. The felon complained all through the second half of his first administration that he didn’t think the Special Counsel’s office was legitimate. Don’t be surprised when he attempts to completely eliminate the office, making it damn near impossible to investigate any government official over any wrongdoing.
To everyone who has said that our fears about the felon’s second administration were premature and unfounded, fuck you. The felon isn’t even trying to hide what he’s planning. He’s proud of his efforts to destroy the country. This is pure Fascism 2025. 52% of you have learned absolutely nothing over the past 90 years. Don’t expect me to cry for you when you are affected by this nonsense just as much as the rest of us.
Meanwhile, John Krasinski was named People magazine’s 2024 Sexiest Man Alive, Thailand’s baby pygmy hippo Moo Deng has an official song released in 4 languages, and the escaped monkeys apparently like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Oh, don’t forget that Robotaxis are now open to anyone who wants a driverless ride in Los Angeles. I can’t think of a more terrifying city to have cars zipping around without a driver. Also, you’re spending too much time on the toilet.
I’ve listened to both sides of four albums while typing this update. Okay, I did stop a few times to sing along. The dogs don’t seem to mind. Barry Manilow is pushing us toward the end. I feel worse now than I did when I started. I need to force some food down my throat and take my meds.
If my coffee cup is empty, you’ll know I died.
This Tuesday morning starts with a pretty decent frost outside. When I took the dogs out at 5:45, the air temperature was 36 degrees (Fahrenheit), cold enough to don gloves and remind myself that a hat is never a bad idea. Some of the neighbors’ trees are completely bare while ours still stubbornly holds on, waiting for a sub-freezing frost. This is the type of November I remember, the kind that makes me comfortable as the heater kicks on, reminding me of how privileged I am to not be out chopping wood. I’m not good at chopping wood. We would surely freeze to death if we relied on such.
Neither child said anything about school yesterday beyond, “It was okay.” We all remember those days when it seemed as though we weren’t learning anything, don’t we? Yet, at least for some of us, more information leaked into our brains than we realized. I’m assuming the same still happens on even the most boring of days.
Being a Girl Dad is still baffling me, though. Tipper came in, barely spoke, and then disappeared for the rest of the day. I didn’t see her again until this morning. She was dressed and on her way out the door, fifteen minutes earlier than necessary, when I stopped her and reminded her that we love her. The result was an eye roll and a half-hearted, “Love you, too,” as she headed for the door. I worry that there’s an eating disorder at play, but I have no way yet of proving it. The fridge is full of leftovers so the kids were free to choose whatever they wanted for dinner. I’m not sure Tipper ever came out of her room. Everything I read tells me this is a difficult and tumultuous time for teenage girls, but I’m not getting any usable advice. I love this child more than she can imagine. And I worry.
Kat did go to the salon for a little while. She took clients that weren’t especially difficult, and even that proved taxing. By the time she got back home, everything about her demeanor showed complete exhaustion. She’ll take today off, thankfully. I worry about Kat more than I do Tipper. She pushes herself too hard. She’s done that since she was 16. I don’t think she knows how to exist without pushing herself hard. I’m trusting that she’s listening more carefully to her body right now,
Fuck. An alert from my bank just informed me that an annual renewal I’d forgotten just came out. $104, gone, just like that, leaving a deficit of -$28. I can probably move things around and cover this one, but there are still $96 and $45 bills that can’t be avoided coming up before my check hits. Fortunately, the fridge and freezer are full of food. We’re doing okay there. The utilities are caught up. G’s birthday is this month, though, and the holidays are looking quite lean. Something else to worry about.
There’s a guest opinion piece in this morning’s New York Times with the title, “If You’re Sure How the Next Four Years Will Play Out, I Promise: You’re Wrong.” The author’s primary thesis is that we cannot predict the future with all its twists and turns. We all have to admit that he’s correct in such a statement. However, the issue I would take is that there are markers that indicate what is most likely to happen next. Those markers are what fuel our worries about the future. We’re not just guessing in the dark.
What are some of those markers? Let’s start with California Gov. Gavin Newsom will spend part of the week in DC as he tries to Trump-proof state policies. Gov. Newsom remembers the issues California faced the last time this felon was president. He’s rushing to see if there is any protection to be found in federal law. The problem is that any “help” the state receives now is most likely to be rolled back quickly by the new administration. They did this last time and there’s no reason to believe that it won’t happen again.
Round 2 in the Trump-vs-Mexico matchup looks ominous for Mexico. Relationships with our Southern neighbor didn’t go well under the first administration. This time around, however, Mexico has a new leftist president, The felon doesn’t have a good record when it comes to dealing with people who are too progressive for his taste. Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum has proven to be a tough, stand-your-ground stalwart, especially as she moved to completely upset that country’s court system. With the felon’s promise of mass deportations, the two leaders are likely to bump heads early and the outcome is not likely to be pretty.
Next up: Economics. A headline in this morning’s Times reads Europe Braces for Trump: ‘Worst Economic Nightmare Has Come True’. Think this is just fear-mongering? Already this morning, Global shares mostly declined, shrugging off Wall Street’s rally. Don’t trust what you see happening on Wall Street at the moment. The increases there are fueled by promises of tax breaks for the rich. The rest of the world, however, is not so enthused. The felon’s promises of severe tariffs, for which US citizens ultimately pay, thus setting off another round of inflation, have the rest of the world concerned about a global financial meltdown, similar to what we saw in 2008, thanks to Bush’s failed economic policies. Again, this could happen quite quickly once numbnuts is in office. Economies are global.
Then, there’s the immigration issue. Again, referencing this morning’s Times, which seems to have a better handle on domestic issues than other sources at the moment, Michelle Goldberg warns “If You Thought Trump Wasn’t Serious, Look at His First Appointments.” She points toward the same issues brought up in another article, “Trump Hires Show His Intent To Carry Out Immigration Crackdown.” What it all comes down to is Tom Holman and Stephen Miller, both of whom have a deep-seated hatred for immigrants. Holman has already said that “No one’s off the table in the next administration,” and yesterday confirmed that workplace raids would resume. Miller has said that Trump would cancel the temporary protected status of thousands of Afghans who fled here after the Taliban’s takeover. This is also the jackass who is in favor of using the National Guard to arrest migrants en masse. Want to see our national economy crumble? Take away all immigrants. The effect will be immediate.
With markers like that, how can we not worry? And to make matters worse, Sen. Elizabeth Warren is warning that the presidential transition team “is already breaking the law.” Sen. Warren would know because she wrote the applicable law! If there were any sign of the incoming corruption, this is it, written in neon and flashing brightly against a dark sky.
So, while we may not be able to accurately predict the exact events of the coming administration, we can predict the effects of those events and it is not going to be good. Even the people who voted for him, many thinking that his campaign rhetoric was hyperbole, are going to suffer. There’s no escaping the negative results of his plans. Our only hope is that the idiot suffers a heart attack or stroke that renders him ‘unable to fulfill the duties of his office.’ Perhaps a President Vance would gut current appointments and replace them with a more moderate selection. Or not. Again, we can’t see the future.
Not everything in the world is negative. I’m thrilled to report that 13 monkeys are still on the loose in South Carolina. Researchers have only been able to capture the majority because they were still in groups. The remaining escapees are more likely to be venturing out on their own. I wish them (the monkeys) the best.
Beyoncé and her legacy will be the subject of a new course at Yale. Of course, to take the class you have to actually be admitted as a student to Yale. Good luck with that. Still, the fact that the class exists is enough to rile right-wing nut jobs and that makes me happy.
Oh, this is fun: The UK has a deer problem. The current estimated deer population now tops two million. That’s a problem for a relatively small island nation. Complicating matters is that gun ownership in the country is extremely rare and difficult to obtain. While the government’s “solution” is to try and convince the people who eat the most bland food in the world that venison is good, no one has said who’s going to actually hunt down all those deer. Trust me, once a few are killed, the rest will go into hiding.
Oh, the big news locally is the conviction of Richard Allen on all counts related to the murders of two teenage girls. This conviction has taken forever as both the prosecution and defense have fucked around with evidence and judges for too many years before ever going to trial. Will there be an appeal? Oh yeah. Allen’s wife was heard saying on her way out of the courthouse, “This is far from over.” With all the pre-trial stupidity that went on, there’s plenty of likely ground for it to be overturned, and if that happens the prosecution is almost certain to appeal the appeal. I’ll probably be dead before a final verdict is ever reached.
Saks Fifth Avenue’s holiday light display in Manhattan is changing up this season. One of the seasonal thrills of living in New York this time of year, besides the big tree at Rockefeller Center, is “window shopping” the holidays at Manhattan’s biggest stores. Saks is celebrating its 100th anniversary by lighting the whole building, not just the windows. Unfortunately, my broke ass can’t be there to take pictures. Perhaps someone (looking at you, Joe Lombardo), can slip over and take some photos for us. I’m sure it is a marvelous sight to behold.
Is that enough to distract us from the horrors that are about to unfold? Momentarily, perhaps, but reality still lingers in the back of our minds no matter how much colorful joy we try to put upfront. For now, I’ll eat breakfast and take my meds like a good boy, then probably take a nap because that’s what I do best now. I slept from 10:00 AM until 4:00 PM yesterday. I even missed my 2:00 alarm. I don’t enjoy this cancerous existence at all.
But hey, the coffee’s hot.
Sunday wasn’t a bad day, as things go. I felt decent enough to finally finish Tony’s pictures. It only took me three weeks, which isn’t a record but is still embarrassing. I’d say I can relax now, but there are still pictures from my last trip with Jen that I’ve not yet touched. This puts me in the position of having to ask myself if I’m as ready for a comeback as I thought I was. The answer, most likely, is no. I may never be ready for a complete comeback, which makes me incredibly sad.
Fortunately, G was here to keep my spirits up. He was in a fantastic mood yesterday, joking around, actually being nice to his sister, and talking up a storm. His frequent visits to my room kept me on my toes as his conversations always require me to completely stop what I’m doing and listen carefully to what he is saying. If he can get a zinger in about how old I am, he doesn’t miss it. At the same time, he’ll swing on a tree branch and laugh just like he did when he was six. It’s impossible to be down when you’ve got someone who can consistently make you laugh.
Kat came home and spent the night. As far as I can tell, she seems to have slept well. Her difficulty breathing is still obvious, though. I don’t know what her plans are for today, but I hope they include plenty of time for her to sit or lie down and recover. Kat tends to push herself; something she’s always had to do. Breaking that habit, and giving herself the space and time to fully recover is not easy for her. She wants to be up, taking care of things, moving around, and working. Right now, though, she needs to not do any of those things.
I tried watching the Colts game but turned it off and took a nap after Flacco threw two interceptions in the first quarter. That was enough to tell me that they were going to lose. I have a difficult time believing that there’s not a better QB sitting around somewhere in the NFL universe. And while Coach Stenchen is apologetic, I think Kenny Moore II, who caught an interception in the second half, is more in touch with what’s actually happening with the team. This is what he said in the locker room after the game:
“I don’t think everybody is working as hard as possible, and obviously it’s showing. I’m not the type to sugarcoat it, honestly. I don’t think the urgency is there. I don’t think the details are there. I don’t think the effort is there, and I don’t see everything correlating from meetings to practice to the games, and it shows. We have to look ourselves in the mirror and ask ourselves how bad we want it.”
“The thing that’s frustrating is we’re letting things leak into another week. To go out and make the same mistakes over and over—that’s what drives me insane as a player and individually. We are in November and I don’t see us making that jump from September to November. I’m seeing the same things. We just have to start addressing it and not sugarcoat or beat around the bush. I think that’s what we are lacking and year-to-year it’s the same thing.”
Holy shit. I hope Stenchen ponders on Moore’s words a bit this morning. I understand that there was some booing going on during yesterday’s game. We can’t let that get started here. Chicago fans are booing the Bears. Jets fans are being merciless when the team plays at home. We don’t need to be like them, but the Colts need to step the fuck up and show us they’re worth those million-dollar salaries.
There were some other really tight games yesterday. The Chiefs, in all honesty, should have lost yesterday’s game against the Broncos. Blocking that last-minute field goal saved their ass, but the fact remains that Kansas City played a lousy game. The same applies to the Lions as kicker Jake Bates made a 52-yard field goal at the last second to win the game against the Texans. Again, they should have lost. QB Jared Goff threw five interceptions! You don’t deserve to win when you’re playing that sloppily. Russell Wilson’s TD pass to Mike Williams lifted the Steelers over the Commanders 28-27, but the young Commanders were arguably the better team. This time next year, I expect it to be Washington who’s running roughshod over the division.
I’m not seeing a lot of news this morning that’s worth talking about. 25 of the Escaped Monkeys of 43 were Captured in South Carolina. And, somewhat hilariously, Mattel Mistakenly Listed A Porn Site on the Packaging for ‘Wicked’ Dolls. Oops!
What’s important is that today is Armistice/Veterans Day, one of the most increasingly forgotten holidays on the calendar. I came across an opinion piece by Vietnam vet Frank Lennon in the Providence Journal. The article is behind a paywall that’s difficult for anyone outside of Rhode Island to justify. So, let me quote a significant portion of that article for you here.
While looking up the 1924 Armistice Day information, I came across another event from that year that was pivotal in the history of how we treated our veterans. It was the passage of legislation providing Bonuses to WWI veterans.
After the euphoria of our victory in World War I died down, many veterans went through hard times. Most were disillusioned, because our government, and society at large, left them to fend for themselves. Adequate health care was beyond the reach of many, especially for “shell shock” – what we call PTSD today. Others found it difficult to find a job.
These problems were exacerbated by the Great Depression at the end of the 1920s. The already high unemployment rates among veterans increased. Vets competed for the few available jobs with civilian workers – many of whom had done very well during the way – while “our boys” got by on the pittance that Uncle Same paid them.
In 1924, Congress tried to redress some of this disparity through the World War Adjusted Compensation Act. It gave bonuses to all enlisted personnel who had served during wartime, with the amount based on each individual’s service time. There was an additional payment for overseas service.
The catch was that these bonuses were paid in the form of certificates, not cash. They functioned like insurance policies, and although they did accrue interest, veterans could not redeem them until 1945.
Rendered desperate by the Depression, veterans asked Congress to modify the law to allow the certificates to be cashed out immediately, when the need was most dire.
In May 1932, WWI veterans organized a march on Washington. At least 20,000 (and perhaps as many as 40,000) veterans, their families and supporters set up camps and occupied buildings in various locations in Washington. The largest camp was a shantytown on the Anacostia Flats across from the Navy Yard. They called themselves the BEF – “Bonus Expeditionary Forces,” a play on AEF, the banner under which most of them had fought during the war.
On July 28, 1932, the attorney general ordered their eviction. Washington police fired at the protesters, killing two veterans. President Herbert Hoover then ordered the Army to clear the campsites and move the protesters across the Anacostia River.
The troops advanced with Tanks, fixed bayonets and tear gas.
You might be surprised to know that Gen. Douglas MacArthur led the troops in this confrontation, along with his aide, Maj. Dwight D. Eisenhower. The commander of the tank contingent was Maj. George S. Patton.
Despite specific orders from Hoover not to cross the bridge, MacArthur pressed on to the camp on the far side. (Perhaps a harbinger of things to come?)
The camp still held about 10,000 people. Tanks and tear gas drove out the Bonus Amer marchers, their wives and their children. Their shelters and belongings were burned. Injured civilians overwhelmed D.C.’s hospitals.
Chillingly, the Army deemed the exercise to be a success. The Bonus Army was gone.
The press saw it differently. The Washington Daily News called it “a pitiful spectacle” to see “the mightiest government in the world chasing unarmed men, women, and children with Army tanks. If the Army must be called out to make war on unarmed citizens, this is no longer America.”
And we thought being spit upon was as bad as it could get?
Throughout the 1930s, the strength of our military reached frighteningly low levels, and little if any emphasis was placed on veterans issues.
Then Pearl Harbor happened, and all of a sudden the military became important again. After the war ended, we could not do enough for our veterans. The GI Bill ensured that post-WWI problems would not be repeated. In the late 1940s and early 1950s, respect for veterans reached an all-time high.
Unfortunately, it took another all-in world war to make that happen.
…
About 25 years ago, Ge. Bernard Rogers, former Army chief of staff, made a very interesting point about the unique nature of military service in our society.
“A doctor contributes to his patients; a priest to the members of his parish; a lawyer contributes to his clients; a politician to his constituents. But those privileged to wear our nation’s uniforms belong to a profession in which every member, every day, makes a contribution – no matter how small – to every citizen of this great land.”
Those are words we should take to heart on this Veterans Day.
I concur. And as I consider how the president-elect is setting up his administration, with emphasis on “rounding up” immigrants and “making the country great,” I fear we will see repeats of Hoover’s disastrous orders. If MacArthur, Eisenhower, and Patton weren’t strong enough to stand up to illegal presidential orders, do we dare think that anyone in today’s Pentagon would respond any differently?
This is why I worry. This is why I am committed to being a safe person, a reliable resource, for anyone being assaulted by any portion of our government or the ridiculous laws it may pass.
Pass me that coffee pot. I need a refill.
Please read quietly this morning. The kids are still asleep, and after all the activity they had yesterday, I’m sure they need it. I enjoyed listening to them interact with each other without fighting. Their conversations with friends were frequently hilarious. Neither teen has any filter when talking to their friends. Try cheating in a game? You’re gonna get called out. Heaven forbid you do something wrong while playing on their team! Curses are going to fly, especially if you’re playing with Tipper. There were times when it was difficult to pay attention to the football games because the kids were being too entertaining.
G has taken on the heavy task of helping me get my heavy leather duster back in shape for this winter. I’ve not worn it in several years. There are tears in the lining, one on the left shoulder, and all the buttons are missing. The shell was also pretty dirty. I took care of removing all the cat vomit from the shell and he went to work. I gave him a specific set of leather tools and thread to work with. His hand-stitching is absolutely remarkable! The replacement buttons came early this morning. There is still one place that needs a full leather patch, but I don’t have the funds for that at the moment. Fortunately, we still have a while before the snow starts to fly. But seriously, what G is doing with his sewing is seriously impressive!
Kat spent the day chilling and I’m sure she’ll do the same today. Don’t expect that to change too much. She hasn’t said yet whether she will try taking a couple of clients tomorrow. Please, don’t push. We all would much rather she take her time and come back healthy. Pulmonary embolism isn’t something from which one just bounces back. Please, give her space to heal.
You already know what I was doing yesterday. I’m going to miss college football when the season’s over. Yeah, the playoff games sort of extend the season, and then, there are all the bowl games that don’t mean a helluva lot anymore. I don’t have much faith in the playoff committee, though, in selecting the best teams, and there are so many bowl games scattered from mid-December to mid-January that one has to ask the question: why?
IU faced its biggest test yet, defeating Michigan 20-15. Everything the team does from this point forward sets a new record for the program. They still have a couple of rough games to go, and that final game against Purdue is always unpredictable, despite how much Purdue has been disappointing this season. By the way, Purdue embarrassed themselves again, losing at Ohio State, 0-45.
The Florida Gators should have just stayed home. They’re down to starting their third-string QB and it seems that much of the rest of their starters are out with injuries. As a result, Texas ran all over them, 49-17. That score fails to tell just how dominant Texas was. The score was 35-0 at halftime. The entire second-string squad played the second half. Arch Manning was able to run up the score easily, getting in some good play time that will help next year. This Texas program will be one to fear for several seasons.
There were a couple of significant upsets this week. Georgia got caught with their eyes shut and lost to Ole Miss, 28-17. Will that be enough to pull Georgia from playoff contention? Possibly, but there’s another opening on the playoff sheet as Miami lost to Georgia Tech, 28-23. That almost certainly pulls Miami from the playoff brackets. With three weeks left in the season, everything comes down to who makes the fewest mistakes and keeps their starters healthy.
You know that myth about deaths happening in threes? It’s not true, but deaths do often happen in multiples. This morning’s list includes:
I suppose one could make the argument that there are two sets of three, but c’mon, anyone who’s been around the industry will tell you that myth is false.
There are a few other tidbits of news. The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree arrived in New York City, pushing the holiday season on everyone whether they want it or not. If you’re even slightly at risk of stroke, you’ll want to know that there are new guidelines for preventing them. Be sure I’m paying extra close attention to that one. There’s also 8 Factors That Can Raise Your Heart Disease Risk. Don’t let these stories slide. Your life could depend on them.
The kids are both awake now, but still being quiet. The dogs have been out, all the animals are fed, and most everyone has settled back down for a morning nap. The rain that moved in overnight is supposed to continue through mid-afternoon. I’ll eat breakfast, take meds, and then probably pass out.
As Sundays go, this one almost feels normal. We know it isn’t, though. Behind the scenes, there are people planning mass immigrant deportations and the elimination of funding for offshore wind energy, among other things. The threats that we’ve talked about all week are still there. We just never know when they might be put into action. My level of trust in anyone is extremely low at this point.
As long as there’s coffee, we’ll survive. If that ever runs out, just go ahead and shoot me.
Look at this morning’s picture. Normally, they don’t have much, if anything, to do with whatever I’m talking about. This morning is different. I’ve decided to do something controversial and wear a safety pin. Not a small one, mind you. I ordered the largest one I could find. I’m not hiding it under a collar, either. It’s right there on the front of my shirt where everyone can see it. Yeah, I’m aware of all the backlash. If you doubt my solidarity with women, immigrants, and the entire LGBBTQIA+ community, try me. I may be small and weak, but goddammit, the head of my cane alone is enough of a weapon to render someone senseless and I’m not the least bit afraid to use it. You won’t be the first time I’ve had to stand up for someone. I have five of these huge pins because I have a bad habit of losing things. I’ll wear them until I know that everyone is safe.
There may be further additions and changes to my attire and attitude as well. I am beyond disturbed that at least four of the people closest to me are now at high risk, not only from the coming policies of a deranged and horrible president but more likely from those who put him there. Policies don’t hurt nearly as many people as do actions and we’ve already seen those actions in place. The Orange Felon isn’t going to show up at my daughter’s school and directly threaten her safety. Students indoctrinated by his rhetoric may, though. We’re fortunate that our kids go to schools that protect them against aggressive behavior. There’s still the bus ride there and back, though. No one’s protecting them there. If I have to start riding the damn bus to keep them safe, I will.
Of course, there’s also the danger that I’m apparently losing my fucking mind. My dreams have been unusually lucid of late, but they went over the top this morning around 2:30 when a dream was interrupted by what I thought was a young woman standing at the side of my bed. She had shoulder-length brown hair, was wearing a simple dark blue dress, and smiled as she said, “Hello.” That’s what caused me to sit straight up in bed. I heard her. I rubbed my eyes and she was gone. I looked around the room, Both dogs were still sound asleep. Cats had draped themselves here and there, none of them appearing to be disturbed. But, I heard her! Her voice was pleasantly sweet, just loud enough to wake me from my dream. Since when does a dream wake one from another dream? Am I hallucinating again? I thought we had cured that problem by changing chemo meds two years ago. I really don’t want to return to a state where I can’t trust what I think I’m seeing. I closed my eyes and immediately went back to sleep. Who does that?
Then, because once a day is tainted it stays that way, as I was sitting down to read this morning’s news, I heard a horrifying crash coming from the kitchen. I knew before I left my chair that the cats had knocked something off the counter. What I didn’t expect was the complete explosion of porcelain across the entire kitchen floor and even into the living room. Fortunately, I was still wearing boots from having taken the dogs out earlier. I grabbed the broom and dustpan and started sweeping. I’ve warned the kids that I’m still not sure I got all the little pieces of porcelain.
As I sat back down in my chair, Hamilton, who is the closest thing I have to an emotional support animal, started pawing at my arm. I assumed he wanted some attention and pets. Typically, I can pet him for a couple of minutes and he’s cool. Not this morning. I started petting him and he put his paws on my shoulder and pulled. Not expecting this behavior, I was rather slow in getting the message. He wanted me to lie down and he didn’t stop pestering me until I gave in. I lay next to him on the bed and checked the health monitors on my watch. My oxygen was below 90 and my heart rate was 137. I stayed put and cuddled with Ham until the numbers were better. This is why we’re running late this morning.
Kat didn’t have a good day yesterday, either. Her original plan had been to take G to his shadow day, then he would join her at the salon. They never made it to the salon. After dropping off G, Kat went to her mom’s and slept on her couch until it was time to pick him up. Then, they came home, and she chilled in her big chair until Tipper got home. I don’t know if she’s going to even try going to the salon today. I’m hoping she just goes on up to Fishers and stays there for the weekend. Her recovery is going to go slowly and I don’t want anyone rushing her.
Amidst all this, I must say that the kids are doing well. They were both up before I was this morning. They’re each busy doing their own thing. I have projects for both of them later in the day, but they can have the morning to themselves. They’ve definitely earned it.
Saturday morning is normally my science catch-up time and there’s a lot to read this morning, most of it concerned about continued funding. One of the top stories this morning is How much power do Trump and Kennedy have to reshape health agencies? Throughout the campaign, scientists have sounded the alarm that science funding and agencies are at risk. Of course, no one listened. Why would the people who deny climate change and question the validity of vaccines suddenly start paying attention to what the scientists are saying? [sarcasm]. Supposedly, Kennedy is vetting the resumes of those who might head various health and science concerns. That could definitely shape the future of those agencies. However, there’s no shortage of concern that the National Institute of Health is in for a major shakeup.
However, the new Republican administration isn’t the only threat to the science world. Russia has postponed three major science projects. In Greece, warming water temperatures completely wiped out this year’s mussel harvest. In fact, over the course of the week, I’ve seen reports of cutbacks of various kinds on every continent except Antarctica. As nationalism and right-wing fanaticism grow across the world, so does distrust and dismissal of established science.
This is concerning for any number of reasons. For example, there’s considerable concern that infections of H5N1, or “cow flu,” are going undetected. What are the odds of the world having another pandemic during the next four years? Much tighter than anyone cares to admit on the record. Best advice: wash your hands frequently and keep those masks close.
Health isn’t the only concern, though. In Botswana, there’s research actively taking place that may show that the whole fucking continent of Africa is about to split. The repercussions of such an event would change everything from tidal flows to the movement of the jet stream around the world. Entire weather patterns would be affected. And there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop it from happening.
Look, I can’t predict the future any more than anyone else. We’ve all seen the plan this administration has for us, though. The number of people it puts at risk is horrifying. These aren’t just abstract numbers on a page. These policies affect real people, you and your neighbors, and millions of lives are going to be destroyed if we don’t act. This isn’t the time to be a pacifist. Loving your neighbor doesn’t stop them from being an asshole. From where I sit, we have no choice but to be unusually aggressive in our response to everything this new administration does.
As I’ve been typing, I’ve been listening to an old Deutsche Grammophon recording of Vladimir Horowitz at the piano. His complete mastery and domination over even the most tender and careful of pieces is precisely the kind of mood we need to foster right now. No note gets away, nothing skipped.
Hamilton is pawing at me again. I need to eat breakfast and take my meds. I’m not well. I’m not strong. But you are always safe here.
A solid night’s sleep hasn’t been possible since Tuesday and I’m sure I’m not alone. Regardless of what time I go to bed, or what tools I use to help me sleep, I wake up from dystopian dreams somewhere between 12 and 12:30. I’m usually able to go back to sleep after getting my bearings and realizing where I am. But then, I wake up somewhere around 3:00, again from disturbing visions of the future, and that’s it. I’m awake for the morning. Too many of you are right there with me. Too many of you aren’t sleeping at all.
Kat worked at the salon for a while yesterday. She only took two clients, finishing up around 8:00 PM. She was exhausted and couldn’t get to bed fast enough. G has a business shadow day this morning after which he’ll go to the salon and help out his mom with some of the details around the shop. I’m still concerned that she’s moving too quickly, though I understand why she’s pushing herself. She feels the weight of the world is on her shoulders. She always has. She desperately needs some of that weight removed without threatening the health and safety of everyone in the family.
I did make a mistake last night. In the throws of exhaustion, I had dinner delivered. A part of that dinner included street corn and I have no idea what flavoring and/or spices were used in its preparation. The result was a colon cleanse so thorough that I could have had a colonoscopy this morning, no problem. The kids didn’t seem to have any problem with their food, so I assume the corn was the only issue.
Getting less sleep at night means I’m napping more during the day which means I’m getting less done. My head is already spinning as I type. I can’t go back to bed yet, though, as I’m having milk and cat food delivered this morning. I still have a handful of Tony’s pictures to finish as well. Maybe I’m not as ready for a comeback as I thought I was. Even when I took the dogs out yesterday, I had to sit in a chair the entire time instead of walking around the yard with them.
Like many of you, I worry that matters are going to get worse before they get better. Here are some of the stories I’m reading this morning:
Hold on, I’m not done yet. I’ve had plenty of time to read this morning.
Even the animals are upset. 43 monkeys escape from a South Carolina medical lab. The young female monkeys, all too young to have any disease, left after a door was suspiciously left open. While “There is almost no danger to the public,” according to officials, residents of the nearby town are still cautious, and not all the monkeys have been found. Something tells me the Rhesus macaque primates heard how bad healthcare for women is in the United States and are trying to ‘go back where they came from.’
Llamas in Utah are apparently trying to catch a train going anywhere but Utah. No one seems to know where they came from, where they’re going, or whether they’ve been captured. The domesticated animals obviously got news of the election results, though, and decided to make a break for it. When the animals start leaving, you have to wonder why so many humans are staying.
Midst all the fear on the part of friends and family, I am mystified why some progressives are still quoting “love one another” Bible verses on social media. Stop it. You’re not helping. You had a fucking year to use your comic book scripture to affect the election. What was the result? 8 in 10 of white evangelicals VOTED FOR THE RAPIST! Obviously, there’s no power at all in your Bible verses. Put the damn book back on the shelf and leave it alone. I can find quotes about other ancient mythologies that are more appropriate. Try this one on for size:
“But suddenly the world turned sideways. I realized I’d been played with. Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades had been set at each other’s throats by someone else…”
Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief
Not good enough? Hmmmm, what else can I find quickly…
“When an impious band madly raged to extinguish the Roman name in the blood of Cæsar, the human race was astonished with sudden terror at ruin so universal, and the whole earth shook with horror.”
Ovid, Metamorphoses
And I haven’t even opened any of the volumes by Homer yet. Philosopher Northrop Frye wrote, “The disinterested imaginative core of mythology is what develops into literature, science, philosophy. Religion is applied mythology.” All the scripture verses in the world fail to capture any meaning because they are all, every last one of them, based on myth and a lack of understanding of modern science. Quoting them changes nothing and this election has certainly proven that to be true.
I also oppose the basic philosophy that love is a cure for the hate that fueled this election and its consequences. When the fuck has that ever worked? There were people who had the same ideas in Germany. By the way, today is the anniversary of Hitler’s failed 1923 ‘Beer Hall Putsch.” So, why didn’t love stop the bad man’s war then? Where was the love that could have stopped the murder of not only Jews but millions of others, including gays and anyone that we would now consider neurodivergent? Love doesn’t stop shit. The apologetics that comes with a “love everyone” attitude merely opens a door for hate and terror to come marching on in.
What I can promise you is that I will not be silent. When have I ever been quiet? I am gathering up all my energy to roar as loudly as this chemo-tortured body is able. Sure, at best we only have around 100 readers a day, and the greater majority of those are Facebook friends and acquaintances. Still, this is my voice and I will use it.
I can also promise to do my best to keep safe all those around me. So help me, if someone tells my daughter, “Your body, my choice,” I’m taking their fucking head off. If someone tells Kat that, be certain that she will take their head off. That statement is a blatant and intentional threat. I have zero tolerance for such threats. I will not hesitate to commit acts of violence if it will save the life and humanity of someone I care about. I may be small, but I have my mother’s temper and she managed to keep rowdy classes of fourth graders quiet. You don’t want to mess with that energy.
No, I don’t think we’re going to see any jackbooted thugs coming down our street. Instead, we’re going to see laws passed that quietly repeal one right after another. The Constitution will be gutted and the Supreme Court will be complicit. There will be no safe corner in the United States where we can peacefully live. We either fight or we die.
Which is it going to be?
Welcome to life in purgatory, and I’m not just talking about the election. Sure, that’s a heavy concern, but at this juncture, we can only speculate about what might happen and when. This is America, and life, on hold. I’m waiting to hear back from Insurance. Kat’s waiting to hear back from her PCP. G is waiting for his birthday. Tipper’s waiting on life. No one is happy. The holidays look bleak. Hope is hanging by a thread in the few places it exists.
Today is a day where I will walk as little as possible. I don’t know what happened during the night, but my right kneecap suddenly decided that it doesn’t want my leg to bend. I’m sitting here with my leg extended, trying to keep the pain down. I’ll have to use a cane when taking the dogs out.
I did get some clarification as to why I’ve not been hearing back from Assisted Living facilities. When the state of Indiana switched its Medicaid/Medicare arrangement back in July, it shifted responsibility for Medicare housing wavers to the three insurance companies managing the new plan. The insurance companies weren’t set up to address the wavers and that has resulted in a severe delay in approving them. I have to have the waver first before talking to any of the Assisted Living facilities. I’ve contacted my insurance company and have been told a case manager will call me today or tomorrow. We’ll see if that actually happens.
Kat is just stuck. You know how you’re supposed to have a follow-up visit with your PCP after a major hospital stay? No one in her PCP’s office has responded to her request for an appointment. Complete radio silence. She’s talked to the hospital and they’ve shown concern, but as of this morning, nothing definitive has happened. This is concerning. She wakes in the morning with severe pain in her chest. She doesn’t know what, if any, OTC meds she can take. She’s out of the meds prescribed when she left the hospital. I’m concerned that if someone doesn’t start paying attention to her soon, she could end up back in the hospital.
G is disappointed in some changes at school. He chose the lab because of its emphasis on individual learning, working at your own pace. However, recent changes have seen all the students gathered in one room, moving from table to table, with strict parameters on what they do during the day. He complains that it feels too much like “regular” school and that he’s not having the opportunity to collaborate with other students. The Lab is still a new concept. I understand trying to work out bugs and address the needs of all the students. G is increasingly frustrated, though, and I worry that may slow his progress.
Tipper says she’s trying to get her grades back up but I’m not seeing that reflected in her daily reports. Instead, it seems as though she’s just existing, exerting a minimal amount of effort and energy into what she does. Her engineering teacher has been out all week and that has been disappointing for her. She’s really enjoying the engineering class, which is potentially exciting, but she’s not carrying through with the fundamentals such as math and world history. How does one motivate a 14-year-old girl who is more interested in Furry matters than keeping her GPA at a reasonable level? I’m open to ideas.
I suggest keeping an eye on Hurricane Rafael as it enters the Gulf. It swept across Cuba yesterday as a category 3 storm, taking out the country’s power grid yet again. Two days ago, most forecasters were going with a model that showed the storm not growing larger than category 1. Now, as it warms and grows in the gulf, it appears as if it will make landfall somewhere between Houston and New Orleans potentially as strong as a category 4. And get this: Rafael may not be the last storm of the season. Waters in the Caribbean are still warm and there’s every reason to be concerned that we could see storms forming into December.
Okay, I’m struggling to remain coherent here. Let me give you a few headlines that are worth chasing and then I’m going to have to stop. Protests continue in Jerusalem after Netanyahu fires Israeli defense minister. Federal Reserve is set to cut interest rates again as post-election uncertainty grows. Abortion rights advocates prevailed in ballot measures in seven states, but that doesn’t resolve the issue. Scientists said 2024 will be the first year in which the planet is more than 1.5C hotter than in the 1850-1900 pre-industrial period. Germany’s Coalition Collapses, Leaving the Government Teetering. Nissan plans 9,000 job cuts, slashes annual profit outlook.
All of those stories are concerning. I’d comment on each one but… I’m struggling to form complete sentences here. This probably isn’t the best day for me to be alone, but what choice do I have? The entire nation is in limbo.
Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I always am. I’ll just put everything on hold for another day. I’m sorry.
This is probably not the update you were expecting. There will be two posts today, but the second one will most likely be on one of the websites I seldom use. Don’t worry, I’ll post it to Facebook for you. Yes, I’m absolutely furious over the voting results. We have a situation, though, that supersedes the coming fascism being brought into our lives. Please, by all means, pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee (I just made a fresh pot), and let’s chat.
Our house is no longer safe. I don’t want to get into the messy details, but Kat can’t come home for any length of time and I need to move into an Assisted Living facility ASAP. The problem is fixable and Kat and her Dad are working on that. However, solving the problem means extensive demolition of various parts of the house. I still have five months of chemo and unknown effects after that. I CANNOT LIVE HERE DURING THE DEMOLITION AND RECONSTRUCTION. I need your help finding an Assisted Living facility that doesn’t suck.
United Healthcare, which manages my insurance, recommends the following places:
5045 West 52nd Street, Indianapolis, IN
2431 Directors Row, Suite A, Indianapolis, IN
55 Mission Dr, Indianapolis, IN
5651 E 30th St, Indianapolis, IN
810 Loews Boulevard, Greenwood, IN
2345 W 86th St, Indianapolis, IN
3530 Shelby Street, Indianapolis, IN
8041 Knue Road, Indianapolis, IN
7365 E 16th St, Indianapolis, IN
334 South Cherry Street, Westfield, IN
The website lists five more, but they’re much further away, such as Bloomington, Lafayette, and South Bend. I contacted all of these through the website on Monday, but have not received a reply from any of them. I attempted to call the first two yesterday, but it did not go well. My brain went blank and I couldn’t answer the most basic questions. I stuttered and stammered through the conversations until both recommended I have someone else call on my behalf. Both sounded irritated.
I am not well. All you see of me is what I type here. These updates take more than two hours for me to write. I’ve been awake since 3:00 this morning trying to figure out exactly what to say. I can occasionally, with some warning, ramp myself up to be aware, cognizant, and conversant for a few hours. I can often walk without my cane for a while. I’ve not lost my hair and physically people can’t see any sign of my disability if I don’t want them to, and I never want them to.
When I’m here, at home, alone? I stop pretending. I spend hours doing nothing but staring at my walls because my brain won’t engage anything. The dogs have to paw hard at my arm, often leaving scratches, to get my attention. Cats will lie in my lap and I’ll not be aware that they’re present until I try to stand up. Remembering to take my medicine, especially the night set, requires setting multiple alarms. I try to not cook on the stove when I’m here by myself because I worry I’ll forget what I’m doing and accidentally burn the house down.
I am not safe. I need help.
Finances are tight. I have $127 left in my bank account to get me through the rest of the month. Bills will eat all of that and a bit more. Fortunately, the fridge and freezer are full. The only thing we’re likely to need is milk. But how am I supposed to pay for an Assisted Living facility when I’m this broke? I’m not sure I qualify for financial assistance and even if I do I’m pretty sure I am not competent enough to complete the paperwork.
I don’t want to do this. I’ll miss being around Kat and the kids. I can’t take the dogs and they won’t understand why I’m gone. I’ll be even more isolated than I already am. No one will come to visit. I’ll likely be the youngest person there and, I’m sorry, but I don’t always get along well with people who are much older than me (Tony is an exception). Depending on the facility, I may need to furnish my own furniture. I don’t have any furniture other than my bed and I need to leave that for Kat. Where am I going to get furniture? This isn’t going to be fun. I can’t imagine existing in such a place and not hating every moment. Yet, continuing to stay here is not remotely feasible. I need to be somewhere now.
I HATE admitting that I need this much help. I’ve spent the past two years trying to hide the decline and I’m failing more each day. There are days when I wish my heart would just stop beating. I’m not suicidal, mind you. I’m just ready for all this to be over. What good am I to anyone?
And the damn election didn’t make things any better.
Who am I? Why am I here? Who cares?
The election takes precedence over everything else this morning. This is the last day. Everything after today is a consequence of the decisions we have made. Remember that polls are wrong; a simple common error can hide what is actually a landslide one way or the other. Remember that it is your responsibility as a citizen to vote. Remember that all the generations coming behind you will pay for the decisions you make today. This is not a game or a fantasy. This is not an experiment or an academic exercise. This election results in real changes, real consequences, and history-making.
I decided to vote early this morning. Polls here opened at 6:00 AM and are among the earliest to close at 6:00 PM. I walked the kids to the bus stop since it was on the way, then on to the elementary school that serves as a polling place for general elections. I was there by 6:45. I didn’t leave until an hour later, and that was with a short line. I’ve gone later in the morning for other elections and had to wait in a line that stretched down the sidewalk. This morning was quick by comparison.
The gentleman standing next to me in line, who almost certainly voted Republican, bemoaned the voting machines of earlier years where there were physical switches to flip and a lever to pull. To some extent, I can sympathize. The touchscreen ballot was finicky about recording votes. If you didn’t touch it hard enough, it didn’t register. If you didn’t touch it in exactly the right place, it didn’t register. Instruction pages were confusing and required careful reading. Voting has been easier in some aspects, but it is still worth every effort.
People at our polling place were polite and congenial. No one wore the wrong clothes, buttons, or hats. No one chatted in line about how they were going to vote. This is exactly the way I think voting should be. You don’t try to influence me, I won’t try to influence you.
My parents were married for 42 years and voted in countless elections. I’m not sure they ever discussed with each other how they were voting. I know this because not only was there no political talk in our house, but more than once Mother was upset because Poppa’s vote had effectively canceled hers. Only after they had voted was there any discussion, and even then it was quite brief.
Now, we have media everywhere. Candidates’ rallies are poured over, fact-checked, and split up into three-second sound bites. We see them in commercials, on social media, and even at the gas pump. Every source claims to be telling the truth, but be honest: what is the truth? Would we recognize Truth if it came up and slapped us in the face? I seriously think that our views and opinions have been so severely manipulated that we don’t actually know what is going on, and the politicians like it that way.
I am of the opinion that they should give away cookies after we vote. Yes, that is against the law, which makes me wonder what the judge was smoking when he decided that Elon Musk’s stupid giveaway could continue. I can’t have a free cookie, but a highly partisan billionaire can give away a million dollars? Is it just me or does that feel pathetically skewed in the wrong direction? I may treat myself anyway. I’m thinking of a burger and fries for lunch if I get my breath back.
Yeah, walking to the polling center and back was taxing. There are ways to get a free ride to the polls and back but we live so damn close that it seems like a waste to have someone come get me. Of course, the weather isn’t helping. We’re expecting storms sometime after 3:00 PM today, but the skies are already gray, the wind is blustery, and the fucking barometric pressure has to be down on the floor somewhere. The simple act of existing is difficult enough. Walking a half mile and back? Yeah, that part was less than fun.
There are other news stories today. Boeing workers ended their strike last night. Global stocks are mixed as investors watch the US election. Andrea Bocelli has released a new compilation album to celebrate 30 years in the music biz. Feel free to buy that one for me. On vinyl.
From here, we sit and wait. The news stations are already doing their analytical thing, but again, you can’t trust any of it to be accurate. Regardless of what they say, GO VOTE. This is your right, your privilege, and your responsibility. Make good choices.
I am not okay. You may want to take anything I say with a grain of salt and double-check my sources. I’ve already had to delete a post and a couple of Facebook messages this morning. I apologize if anyone was offended. Yes, I’m sober. I’ve had a headache for the past four days, though, and have moments where I completely lose track of reality. Yes, I sent a message to my doctor this morning. No, I don’t expect it to help. The best thing for me to do is keep to myself and not post anything stupid.
Kat will be back at the house this afternoon. She misses the kids (maybe me). The cats are still going to be an issue, though. She was shaving yesterday and accidentally brushed her finger across the blade. The resulting cut, though small, took an hour to stop bleeding. In my opinion, she needs to be wrapped in soft foam. Bubble wrap is useless because the cats like to play with that. She’s still planning on trying to take a couple of clients on Thursday and possibly Friday. If she sees someone on Friday afternoon, G will be there in case there’s a problem. I don’t know about Thursday, though.
Tipper spent the weekend with friends. I’m amazed that they’re willing to travel an hour to pick her up. She says she had “the best fucking time ever.” I told her to watch her language. They’re all furries, and, as a group, walked through their small town while wearing furry heads. No one bothered them and one person even stopped them to show off their pictures of a furry convention. She also came back with a robotic skeleton on her right arm. It’s a good thing she goes to a school that doesn’t mind. I’m sure that one day in the future she’s going to walk in with a full sleeve done. The trip was exhausting apparently. She came home and crashed. I didn’t see her again until this morning.
G is headed to the Purdue University campus at Ft. Wayne this morning for a field trip. I’m rather curious as to why they would consider Ft. Wayne when there are closer options. He has a set of questions to ask and is looking forward to trying out the food. He’s growing up fast and I fear I’m going to blink and he’ll be off to college. He spent much of yesterday playing with his new sewing machine. I’m now the proud owner of two small pouches. make of felt. He’s not pleased with them, but I think they’re rather impressive. No, I have no idea what this kid is going to do with his life. I’m pretty sure it will be impressive, though.
There have been some server issues with the website overnight. I woke up to go to the restroom a little after 3:00 and discovered multiple messages about the site not being accessible. When I sat down and tried to troubleshoot the problem, I got no response. That always makes me so happy [sarcasm]. After trying a couple of things, I finally bit the bullet and opened a support ticket. I hate doing that. Problems are usually small and something I could have fixed on my end. I feel stupid when that happens. This time, though, it was an issue that required technicians to fix. Everything should be up and running now.
The crushing news this morning is the death of long-time music producer Quincy Jones. This hurts in ways I can’t express. As long as I’ve been alive, Quincy Jones has been making music. I was still in grade school when I first heard his name. I’ve spent hours studying the music he produced, finding the special, subtle touches that made his records exceptional. As he’s become less active in recent years, I firmly believe his absence is a significant part of why contemporary music doesn’t have the hold of music he produced in the 60s-90s. The music industry can never be the same without him.
Tornadoes were a problem in Oklahoma over the weekend. Storms hit the greater Oklahoma City area, encompassing everything from the University of Oklahoma campus at Norman to pretty much everything eastward along I-40. The town of Choctaw took a pretty good hit and I’m told the tiny town of Hannah (pop. 102) was pretty much blown off the map. Miraculously, as of this morning, there are no deaths reported. While tornadoes can occur at any time of the year, we mostly associate them with spring weather patterns. A November storm this strong is still rare, but we’ve seen more of them in the last few years. Climate change, anyone?
To ensure accuracy, I’m going to lift this next part directly from the Associated Press: “The trial of eight people in Paris on terrorism charges started on Monday over the beheading of teacher Samuel Paty, who was killed by an Islamic extremist after showing caricatures of Islam’s prophet to his middle school students for a lesson on freedom of expression.
Paty’s shocking death left an imprint on France, and several schools are now named after him. Paty was killed outside his school near Paris on Oct. 16, 2020, by an 18-year-old Russian of Chechen origin, who was shot to death by police.”
This is what happens when religion is out of control. This is why making sure we DO NOT elect Christian Nationalists is important. Don’t think for a second that these extremists wouldn’t do similar things here. They’re dangers to all of society and need to be stopped.
The New York Times is following conversations on the Telegram app where right-wing groups are already beginning to organize as they plan to take action in response to tomorrow’s election. Fueling this danger is the Republican nominee himself who now says he ‘shouldn’t have left’ the White House. His rhetoric over the past week has grown dark and brooding. There’s trouble brewing and law enforcement is largely helpless to try and stop it. This could get very nasty over the next few days.
As you look around the various news sites today, you’re going to see a number of variously-angled articles on what to watch during tomorrow’s election. Let me give you my own list:
For perhaps the first time in my life, I’m not looking forward to voting tomorrow. I will, but I won’t feel good about it. The weather forecast predicts rain. The lines will be long. I’ll have to stand the entire time. I worry whether my vote will be counted, or if it will matter. I’m a Blue voter in a historically Red state. I’m used to being disappointed, but this time the consequences could be a matter of life or death for too many people I care about. The ACLU of Indiana has published this notice:
For help at the polls, or if you believe your rights have been violated, the quickest way to get help is by calling the non-partisan Election Protection Hotline at 1-866-OUR-VOTE (Spanish: 1-888-839-8682), or texting MYVOTE to 866-687-8683.
If you witness what you feel is voter intimidation, which is highly possible this year, the ACLU has the following recommendations:
Your rights
Examples of voter intimidation
What to do if you experience voter intimidation
I don’t see how I can make the matter any more clear. This could be the vote of your life. This vote could save your life. YOU HAVE TO VOTE. Staying home or voting for a third party guarantees an outcome you will not like, and yes, this time there will be consequences that affect you.
My head is hurting so badly now I quite literally can’t see straight. I’m eating breakfast, taking my meds, turning off the lights, and going to bed. Don’t @ me. Don’t call me. Don’t text me.
Just fucking vote!
Sunday, I so wasn’t ready for you yet. Yeah, technically I’m starting an hour later than normal, but what I wanted was something more like two or three hours of extra sleep and that just didn’t happen. No, you woke me up early, notified the cats, and there was no going back after that. We fed all the animals, refreshed the water supply, and made fresh coffee because I’m going to need a lot of it if I keep a civil head about me today. There are some interesting things to talk about, even if you don’t follow football. But first, you need to see this:
Look, I’m never going to be as exciting as a Taylor Swift concert or a Travis Kelce spotting (yeah, he was here; the Chiefs don’t play until Monday night). Still, I think we put things together in a unique way that engages people in a manner that most communication outlets can’t. Namely, we talk about our family. You won’t find that on CNN. Not yet, anyway.
Yesterday was rather quiet around the house, though. Kat left and headed North around 9 and Tipper left with her friends a couple of hours later. G played online games with his friends and I did my best to interrupt as often as possible. I took a nap and then settled in to watch football games. Even the dogs seemed bored with the day, keeping their outside time to a minimum. How do I know the dogs are bored? When they ask to go inside before I’m ready.
While the games we watched were entertaining, some of the more interesting moments were off the field. Jason Kelce smashed a Penn State fan’s phone after the fan called Travis a homophobic slur for dating Ms. Swift. The elder brother’s reaction was quick and severe. Obviously, the Penn State student has never watched the Kelce’s podcast or else he would have known how fiercely the brothers protect each other.
Next, there’s the University of Louisiana at Monroe (ULM) offensive line coach who is likely going to lose his job after having a complete meltdown on the sidelines. Yeah, ULM was losing their game to Marshall (final score 28-23) and yeah, his o-line was playing poorly. Still, that’s absolutely no excuse for his behavior, especially with one of the players. The university is saying they’ll take “disciplinary action,” but the chances of this dude still being employed are slim.
THEN, there was Friday night’s cold-shoulder handshake between the University of Southern Florida’s (USF) Alex Golesh and Florida Atlantic’s Tom Herman. Normally, coaches at least tell each other, “good game,” or something similar. Not this time. FAU had just rolled over USF, 44-21. Golesh didn’t take the defeat well. He barely touched Herman as he passed and kept on walking. Maybe he felt that FAU had unnecessarily run up the score. Maybe it was because this is the second year in a row that USF has lost this game. He’s not saying. Still, someone throw a flag for post-game unsportsmanlike conduct.
All the excitement wasn’t limited to NCAA men’s football, though. The NBA is investigating after the Philadephia Sixers’ Joel Embiid yelled at and then shoved Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Marcus Hayes. The Sixers had just lost to the Grizzlies and Hayes had questioned Embiid’s professionalism in a recent article. So, yeah, he was a bit emotional. Is that justification for his action? Nope. He can most likely expect an example-setting fine from the NBA.
Back to football, though. OU finally won a game! Granted, it was against an undersized and underclassed Maine team that, outside of the touchdown on their opening drive, spent most of the rest of the game carrying injured players off the field. I mean, OU was physically bigger which allowed them to steamroll over Maine. This was the first time the two teams have ever met and after this performance, I wouldn’t expect to see a repeat any time soon.
I was deeply concerned about Georgia possibly losing to Florida, though. They were behind by 7 at the half and the rivalry between the two schools is legendary. This is one of those cross-the-border games where one can normally throw out the record books, and for a while, it looked as though this might be the case again this year. UGA came back strong in the second half and ended up winning, 34-20. Still, this wasn’t a pretty game on either side. Looking in the stands, I think there were almost as many Georgia fans in the Jacksonville stadium as there were Florida fans.
The SEC was pretty hot yesterday, overall. Tennessee held off Kentucky, 28-18. South Carolina surprised Texas A&M, 44-20. Ole Miss absolutely ran the fuck over Arkansas, 63-31. And Vanderbilt again showed that it’s no milquetoast, beating Auburn 17-7.
13th-ranked IU still isn’t getting the respect it deserves. They beat Michigan State, 47-10, giving the team its first 9-0 start in the program’s history. Where’s the love? Why the hell is 6-2 Clemson ranked above them, especially after they lost to Lousiville, of all teams, 33-21? Sure, IU hasn’t had the roughest schedule, but look at how they’ve dominated in every game they’ve played! Bring on Ohio State or someone. I’m pretty sure IU can handle them. [We’ll find out November 23]
In fact, I find it rather disingenuous that Notre Dame is getting all the love and support for possibly making the College Football Playoff after that early season loss to Northern Illinois. The two teams haven’t met since 1991, and they’ve never played at Bloomington. All the games between the two teams have been in South Bend. Come on, guys! This is a game that IU needs! This is a game that Indiana needs! I suppose there’s always the chance they could meet in a bowl game or a CFP game, but this should have been a regular-season matchup.
Oklahoma State and Purdue both lost and, at this point, their seasons are effectively over. They’re neither one ending on the positive side of 500.
A couple of teams are likely looking at fines from the NCAA for student behavior. Clemson fans were throwing water bottles onto the field. That’s a HUGE no-no and the students should already know better by this point in the season. South Carolina already knows that they’ll owe Texas A&M $250,000 after their students rushed the field yesterday. Bad behavior seems to be a thing in the SEC and the conference needs to apply more pressure to the schools to get it to stop before serious injury occurs.
Meanwhile, you’ve got to see this to believe it:
There is some non-football news. Today is the New York City Marathon. I know of at least one person from Indy who is among the 50,000 people running. Good luck and stay safe!
The entire New York Times Magazine is worth reading today. Fortunately, they posted some of the articles yesterday or I wouldn’t be done with it yet.
I suppose there’s other stuff, but none of it is going to make your day any better. You’re better off relaxing and enjoying the day with your family, or a good book, or perhaps a favorite movie.
Personally, I’m going to need to take a fistful of meds. The pain this morning is severe and it’s been a struggle trying to type when my body doesn’t want to participate in anything at all. You’d think I’d be accustomed to this by now. Sorry, that doesn’t seem to be happening.
Maybe I’ll make mashed potatoes for dinner or something.
Yes, I’m getting a late start this morning because I took advantage of the opportunity to sleep. Fat Guy did wake me up to feed the cats at 6:25, but I went right back to bed and slept until 8:00. The dogs didn’t seem to mind one bit. In fact, they’re already back to napping. This is going to be one of those days where I don’t dare promise anyone anything because there’s a good chance that nothing gets accomplished.
Kat came home yesterday afternoon, giving us a chance to chat a little bit before the kids arrived. I’m finding it difficult to explain how incredibly weak she is at the moment. She spent the night in an oversized chair so that she could sleep sitting up. The cats didn’t give her a lot of rest, though. Fat Guy was noisy all night and the other cats were running around, knocking over side tables and making a mess. She’s still coughing up dark masses of blood. She’ll go back up to Brandon’s this afternoon where it will be quieter. She can have her own room there and Brandon watches over her like a mother hen.
Both kids came home in a good mood, having had decent days at school. Tipper is spending tonight with some of her Furry friends, which means G and I will have the house to ourselves. Don’t worry, that just means he’ll be playing games in his room and I’ll be watching football in mine. There’s no wildness of any kind on tap. That’s not who G is, and I’m too damn old.
I’m fighting against a lot of pain this morning. My right forearm feels as if it’s on fire and the right side of my head seems to have someone stepping on it. I’m assuming all the other aches and pains are a result of this morning’s frosty coldness. Even now, it’s still only 34 degrees out. The heater works well, but that still doesn’t seem to affect the way my body responds to the meteorological changes. I’m doing my best to not let depression take over but the struggle is severe and there’s a part of my brain that just doesn’t give a shit.
As we know, most Saturday news is just a rehash of the previous week. So, I want to take a look at what’s going on in the world of science, particularly in the field of battling misinformation. At the center of the research is Kate Starbird, at the University of Washington (UW) in Seattle.
“Starbird and her colleagues have spent more than 4 years studying the rumors that swirl around elections. It’s not purely an academic interest: As they amass data, the team writes rapid research blogs explaining to journalists, election officials, and the public what rumors are circulating and where they are coming from—and correcting the record. “I jokingly call our group the ER [emergency room],” Tomson says. “What we do is triage information.”
What has all this work gotten her? Harassment and threats, particularly from Republicans in the US House of Representatives. As Starbird and her team sift out truth from fiction, their work often blunts the ideological rhetoric that the GOP has been putting forth. So far, Starbird, whom colleagues describe as ‘tough as nails,’ has stood firm, waving off the nonsense from people who don’t know what they’re talking about. They’ll be going strong all the way through the election.
Fighting misinformation, from a scientific standpoint, is far from easy. An article in Science magazine, supported by the Pulitzer Center, identifies five significant obstacles.
Those are extremely tough issues to overcome and the more one digs into them, the more confusing and hopeless it can seem. I’ve been down the rabbit hole and, damn, it’s depressing. One wonders if there is any hope of solving the problem of misinformation.
So, what if there was a vaccination? Oh, this gets good. We’re talking about taking a Cold War strategy to prevent people from believing lies and misinformation. What the fuck? As head of the Social Decision-Making Lab at the University of Cambridge, Sander Van der Linden, whose family were Holocaust victims, is studying the power of lies and how to keep people from believing them. He has become academia’s biggest proponent of a strategy pioneered after the Korean War to “inoculate” humans against persuasion, the way they are vaccinated against dangerous infections.
There are two steps to Van der Linden’s method: “First, warn people they may be manipulated. Second, expose them to a weakened form of the misinformation, just enough to intrigue but not persuade anyone. “The goal is to raise eyebrows (antibodies) without convincing (infecting),” No, it’s not an actual shot that you can get at your doctor’s office. Damnit.
Van der Linden’s focus on stopping the spread of misinformation comes under a lot of criticism. His approach doesn’t target the source of the problem at all. The medical analogy confuses in its own way as well. Still, by his estimation, it has a better outcome than other methods being studied. Is that enough for it to be more widely adopted? Probably not, but at least someone’s trying.
This is an important topic because, should the Orange Felon win, he’s likely to put Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. in charge of a lot of health issues. Exactly how that would work, no one seems to know. However, Kennedy’s long-standing war against vaccinations would certainly be a point of concern. His extreme views are certainly a large reason for why his own attempt at running for president failed, but they’re also scaring the shit out of a number of researchers. They fear that giving Kennedy any control over federal programs could cause the misinformation and lies to become mainstream. This would severely set back disease research and, as a result, millions of people could die if they are denied access to critical medicines.
Yes, there are real-world consequences to how you vote.
The fact is that science and politics don’t mix well. Science relies on facts and has ways of ensuring that what is published is as true as possible based on current understanding. Politics, on the other hand, relies on unproven conjecture, misinformation, and rhetoric. To the extent that one believes the politicians over the scientists, the world suffers. Politicians, as a whole, aren’t nearly as smart as they pretend. They rely on their staff to tell them what to say and when they go off script they usually get themselves in trouble.
I would very much like for you to delve deep into this week’s NYTimes interview with Peter Singer, perhaps the world’s most influential philosopher who’s still living. A hard-core utilitarian, Singer believes that it isn’t enough to do what is best for ourselves, but that we should focus on what is ultimately best for all beings, and by all beings he does not mean only humans. There’s a lot to unpack in this interview, so carve out some time for yourself. This gets deep.
This is as far as I go for now. My brain is overloaded with all the reading I’ve done over the past couple of hours and my head was hurting before I started. Am I deeply concerned about what happens over the next week? Yes. I hope you are as well. The fight is real and the battles, unfortunately, may get bloody. I’m not willing, at this point, to dismiss even the wildest of outcomes.
I think I’ll refill my coffee cup and put Vivaldi’s Four Seasons on the Victrola. There will be football to watch this afternoon, naps to take, snacks to eat.
Be safe, my friends.
I need to apologize to the entire world for a number of things. I’m aware that portions of my existence may offend some people, so I’d like the opportunity to clear up a few things if you don’t mind.
I’m sorry, but I’m not perfect. In fact, the greater majority of the time I’m rather clueless. The older I get, the more my mind sinks into its internal darkness. I lose awareness of where I am, what the social situation is, and what my behavior should be.
I’m sorry, but I’m not enough for anyone. I think I’ve proven that in both long-term and short-term relationships. People have needs that I am unable to meet, whether they’re physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental. I may try to address needs that are most immediate, but I frequently fail at the most basic tasks.
I’m sorry, but I am no longer young. Neither am I handsome, virile, adventurous, capable, mindful, romantic, or strong. If I ever had any of those traits, they have all left me. At this point, I am little more than an empty shell.
I’m sorry, but I am sick. I will be sick on some level for the rest of my life. Leukemia does not go away. Diabetes does not go away. One or both of them, or something not yet discovered, will eventually kill me. My doctor was very clear: the rest of my life is going to be difficult. There’s not a damn thing I can do about that.
I’m sorry, but I don’t always express sufficient thankfulness for everything that people do for me. Over the past two years, we’ve seen some amazing gestures from a lot of people as they’ve helped us in so many different ways. Thank you, quite seriously, from the bottom of my heart.
I’m sorry, but I’m poor. Social Security pays me a whopping $1,100 a month. That’s it. From that, roughly $800 a month is taken in home expenses such as groceries, toilet paper, and clothing for growing kids. There’s never enough. I can’t afford to go out. I can’t afford to come see your show. I can’t buy your art. I’m truly sorry. I would love to support you more and join you in all the amazing things you’re doing, but that’s not possible.
I’m sorry, but I can’t drive. Ever. Anywhere. If you had seen the condition of my last car, the dents, the dings, and the scratches, you would understand why. My spatial awareness is severely diminished. My mind wanders and does not stay focused on the task at hand. I lose track of what I’m doing, where I’m going, and how to get anywhere. I’m not safe.
I’m sorry, but I’m a mess. My mind is a haze and in that haze, I lose track of everything. Did I take out the trash? Did I change my socks? Have I taken my meds? Are the kids home? What time is it? What should I be doing now? What was I just doing? Have I said that already?
I’m sorry, but I love a lot of people, even people I don’t know. I don’t mean that in any superficial “brotherhood of man” kind of way. I seriously love you. There’s no way for me to express that without coming off as either creepy, needy, or both. So, I stay silent. But seriously, I love you.
I’m sorry, but I’m mean. I’ve lost patience with people who are either willfully ignorant or willfully stupid. I don’t understand how anyone can continue to be a Republican. I get why you may have started down that path, but where the party is now is evil. Leave. The same applies to religion. All of them. The older I get, the more vile and treacherous those mythological belief systems become. You don’t love people if you want to control their lives, limit who they are, and prevent them from being who they were meant to be. You are not compassionate if you don’t want everyone to have food, healthcare, and a genuine education void of political or religious interference. You are not humane if you want to control where anyone lives, how they live, or how they raise their families. I am not tolerant. I am not understanding. You need to fucking re-evaluate your life. Now.
I’m sorry, but I’m full of contradictions.
I’m sorry, but I don’t like uniforms or mandatory dress codes. If you want to wear a heavy coat in the middle of summer, go for it. If you don’t want to wear anything, ever, anywhere, that’s your prerogative.
I’m sorry, but I want there to be a way to communicate visually that I am not an abusive asshole. Too many men have done absolutely horrible things to women and children, to the point where it’s safer to regard all men as dangerous. I’m sorry that we share a gender identity. Abusive people are evil.
I’m sorry, but many of you deserve better than what you have. I see too many toxic relationships and too many of you are comfortable being in one. It breaks my heart every time you recommit to scum. It’s not love, dear.
I’m sorry, but I no longer remember why I started this post.
Welcome to November! There’s no question that this month is going to be history-making, one way or the other. The question now is what are we going to have to do to survive it? The prospects of a peaceful holiday season look bleak. Gatherings of any type are likely to be fraught with danger as different perspectives, misinformation, and outright lies color our conversations, turning them from casual to caustic. I’m not looking forward to the next week, no matter how the election goes. This could be traumatic.
The good news is that Kat is coming home today. She’s still not feeling great, obviously, but she misses the kids and wants to see how things go with the cats. Small things like walking and eating still tax her. We will be taking extreme care to ensure her safety while she is here. We greatly appreciate all the thoughts and support coming from our friends during this challenge.
Both kids had fun yesterday. One of G’s friends gave him $5 for wearing his heels to school. Unfortunately, one heel broke when he stumbled over something. He “fixed” it with a glue stick and went on with his day. Tipper enjoyed going out with her friends, but they had a difficult time finding anything exciting. She was disappointed in the haunted house they went to, and few people were participating in the trick-or-treat tradition in any of the neighborhoods they went to. The amount of candy she came back with was too small to bother poaching.
We are extremely thankful to the friend who sent an electrician to fix our problem. It turns out that the problem was a mix of old wiring and a space heater that was pulling too much power. One of the lead wires in the breaker box was quite literally melting and showed signs of having been in that condition for quite some time. We are back to normal activity, minus the space heater in G’s room. Hopefully, I’ll be able to finish editing all the photos from the past two weeks before anything else distracts us.
There are plenty of other little petty annoyances, of course, but who doesn’t have those in their life? I thought I was buying sugar-free caramels. They weren’t. The cats escaped out the back door. We got them all back. As frustrating as those things can be in the moment, I think they’re part of what colors our existence. They are problems we can generally resolve and even when we can’t, they’re not matters that dramatically impact our lives. We’re entering a period where we could face some dramatic challenges. If we’re to survive, we need to keep the minor things in perspective. Yes, I’m preaching to myself. I’m horrible at this.
You know the world is going nuts when the 2-5 Jets beat the division-leading Texans, 21-13. I watched most of the game. The first half was full of errors, penalties, and blunders. The second half was better with the Jets pulling off some amazing catches. Does this mean the Jets are getting better? Maybe, but I wouldn’t start betting on them just yet. The Texans have a number of key players out due to injury. They had to rely on their third-string left tackle for most of the game, and that inexperience allowed Jets linemen to get into the backfield too easily. A healthy Houston team would have likely run all over their opponents. So, we’ll have to see how the Jets do next week.
More insanity occurred off the basketball court as Charlotte Hornets point guard, LaMelo Ball, knocked the head off an animatronic clown. The clown was slightly hidden as Ball entered the Spectrum Center for practice. The 23-year-old’s reaction has his teammates laughing and poking fun. Yes, there’s video.
The election dominates most of the other headlines. I won’t bother going over all of them, but there are a few things that bother me. One is the degree to which gender has become a critical issue. The felon says that he will “protect women.” Harris shoots back, “Women can think for themselves, thank you.” At the same time, the felon makes anti-trans attacks central to his campaign’s closing argument. The entire GOP has ramped up the anti-trans vitriol. Should Republicans win on any level, the lives of millions of women and transgender people could be in danger.
At the same time, the felon’s fraud claims revive fears he may again seek to overturn election results. This is especially concerning since he has an ally as Speaker of the House. Mike Johnson has been actively campaigning for the felon and he is in a position to prevent the House of Representatives from certifying the election. Johnson could also, in theory, refuse to seat new members of Congress should Democrats make significant gains. So much of what happens after the election is out of the hands of citizens, making protests and lawsuits inevitable.
Yes, this is going to affect your holiday gatherings. There is almost no chance that rhetoric will calm down by Thanksgiving and the winter holidays are at risk. Family gatherings, and conversations around the table, are going to be perilous. One has to think: do I want my children to witness adults behaving worse than toddlers? Maybe this is the year that we diffuse the danger by making our holiday celebrations smaller and more intimate, limiting participation to immediate family members only. Let the arguments, if there are any, be over things like who got the last roll or who spilled the gravy on great-grandma’s tablecloth. We have to begin planning now to create environments that respect boundaries, put differences of opinion aside, and focus on family rather than the snakes in the grass that would tear us apart.
As I said at the beginning, what happens this month will be historical regardless of the outcome. Nothing about this month is business as usual. We’ve selected people to run for office who have no business even managing a small fast-food outlet in the middle of the desert. While I do find VP Harris dramatically preferable over the felon, it is ridiculous to think that her administration wouldn’t be filled with gaffes, mistakes, and errors in judgment. To create real change we need to take over local political parties, replacing power brokers who push incompetent people onto the ballot. From there, we can move up the ladder, replacing party leaders at both the state and federal levels. Only then will there be any genuine change.
Perhaps, if we focus on pumpkin pie recipes and creative ways of working with leftover stuffing, we can avoid letting politics ruin what should be happy moments over the rest of the year. Shut the door on nonsense that you can’t control. Give the system a chance to work, and if it fails, address those matters after the first of the year. They’ll still be there, waiting to ruin people’s lives.
For now, go grab a cup of coffee. Make sure the garbage is out by the curb. Don’t forget to let people know that you love them. Make your weekend pleasurable.
Welcome, fiends, to this All Hallows Eve edition of the Moaning Update. As storms roll across the Midwest this morning, the lightning brings to life the deceased body of our creator who fell into that eternal slumber after caring too much about what he cannot control. Now, as he attempts to walk among us, it is his own mortal flesh that is uncontrollable. Beware, for this is not the genial soul of days gone by. This is a monster who would feed you cookies for dinner and then deny you a drink of milk. The blood of his enemies has stained his white whiskers. You are wise to run away in fear.
The good news is that Kat was dismissed from the hospital yesterday afternoon without needing any surgical procedures. They have her on blood thinners and pain meds for the time being. She has been warned that the recovery is slow and frequently takes as much as a year before she begins feeling completely normal again. When chatting with her last night, she admitted that taking only a few steps was enough to wear her out. The Salon has closed her books at least until the end of next week. They will do their best to reschedule everyone, but please understand that Kat will not be able to return to the heavy schedule she was accustomed to working.
The kids are participating in the day’s festivities. Tipper is going out with some of her Furry friends after school. G is… wearing heels. Apparently, his classmates were strongly encouraging this act. I’m encouraging him to pack his sneakers as a backup. He says he would have worn eyeliner as an accent if we had any, but neither Kat nor Tipper wears makeup that often, so there’s none in the house. Kat keeps hers at work or at Brandon’s. I’m not sure if he was truly disappointed or happy to have an excuse.
We thought we had the breaker issue resolved. Devon came yesterday morning and replaced the breaker with the one we’d purchased. He also kindly replaced the bulbs on our porch lights. Unfortunately, the instant G tried turning on his computer, everything went down again and stayed that way. No recovery. At least not until shortly after 6:00 this morning, when everything popped back on. I’ve no idea what is happening at this point. So, we’re expecting an electrician to come out late this afternoon and take a look at the situation. Will we have power in the bedrooms by nightfall? There’s a joke to be made there, but I’ll leave it alone.
There’s so much going on this morning, that I’m tempted to stop here. We’ve already had two Amazon deliveries this morning. There are more coming before 11:00. Ultimately, this is a good thing. We’ll have food and such for most of the month. I can miss my morning nap to accommodate that, can’t I?
Hmmmm … Let’s see, the Dodgers won the World Series last night, four games to one. This is the eighth championship in the history of the team. I didn’t watch the game, but apparently, the Yankees blew a five-run lead with an abundance of errors. Expect to see some players traded after that debacle.
Damn, the power in the bedrooms just went back out.
Want to know what’s scary? Get a load of some of these headlines:
I mean, every news source I look at this morning is full of scary stories! This is just nuts! I think what all this tells us is that the entire world is wildly out of control. The election is only aggravating problems that were already there. There is a divide across the world between progress and authoritarianism that fuels violence and anger across the globe. People everywhere are scared and not just by Halloween stories. Although, AP has a bunch of fun stories if you need them.
Do we live in perilous times? Yes. Will the decisions we make in this election affect the entire world? Yes. Even your state and local elections can have a reverberating effect on other countries. How you vote, whether you vote, matters more now than it has in over a century.
As I’m typing, I’m hearing sirens yet again in the neighborhood. There are people everywhere who are making poor choices, perhaps out of ignorance, but also out of fear. I think fear is driving a lot more actions than we think. People are afraid of losing critical rights. People are afraid of losing important values. People are concerned that they may be hunted down and killed because of their sexual orientation. All those fears are valid. That’s why this is such a critical time to vote. Your vote, especially down-ballot, carries more weight and more power than it ever has.
Look, I’m old. I’m worried more about how our actions affect Kat and the kids than myself. If I die, it matters little. I’ve lived a life that’s had love and adventure. But the Kat, the boys, G and Tipper, are all still young. I don’t want them to suffer through the hate and violence of a GOP win. I don’t want them to have to worry about how they dress, what they say, who they are, or where they go. I don’t want them to be targeted because of who they love, where they live, or how they vote. I want them all to live happy and fulfilled lives that are not dominated by fear.
Talking with Kat this morning, she’s concerned about being around the cats. Even the smallest scratch could cause problems for her. The blood pressure cuff bruises her arm and causes her to have to put pressure on the IV wounds to prevent them from bleeding. I think she needs to stay put in Fishers, but she had also agreed to take care of her boss’s dog while they’re gone. And it’s going to rain.
I don’t have the answers I feel I need to have. I’m worried about everyone. I’m worried about all of humanity. Not being able to fix the world is a failure that weighs heavily on me. I want more for you. All of you.
Maybe we just need more coffee.
Getting straight to the important stuff: Kat has a submassive pulmonary embolism. This is more serious than a standard embolism, but not as bad as a massive PE. She spent the night at the hospital and doctors will decide this morning what to do next. They may do a medical procedure, or they could decide to go with a drug regimen. This is immediately more serious than my Leukemia or anything else going on. Kat is the core of our family. We love and need her.
No one has told me yet what caused the embolism. Statistically, most are blood clots that move up from the legs. Kat does spend a lot of time on her feet, so that’s a definite possibility. However, she’s had Covid and pneumonia this month. Either, or both, of those illnesses could have caused the embolism. I’ll pass on more as we know more. The doctors say the clot has been forming for at least a month, which puts it at about the same time as when she had Covid.
Ginger at Biz on Fletcher has called everyone on Kat’s books and is working to reschedule everyone. No, we don’t know when Kat might be back at the salon. She’s been scheduling six days a week lately and that stress has almost certainly contributed to her current condition. If you have any questions about a hair appointment, you can call Ginger at Biz: 317.631.2775.
Our attempt at replacing the breaker failed as well. After a considerable amount of research, I was able to secure a replacement breaker, but when we removed the panel the dead breaker wouldn’t budge. We’re going to need someone who knows what they’re doing, which is something we can’t afford at the moment. A friend has volunteered to take a look at it, but there’s no promise they can do any better. So, our bedrooms are still in the dark.
I gotta say, I’m pissed at the situation. Covid was bad enough. Then came the ear infection. Then pneumonia. AND NOW THIS?? WHAT THE LIVING FUCK!? Kat didn’t have a chance to fully recover from one problem before she was hit with another! She deserves better. She helps too many people and provides too valuable a service to all her clients, especially her trans and other LGBTQIA+ people. She loves every last one of them. THEY need her.
I’m also pissed at my inability to do anything helpful. I thought I could take care of the breakers, but I can’t even get that right. What’s the point of me being here if I can’t help the person I care for the most?
I’ve been careful with what I’ve told the kids. I’ve been honest, but I haven’t let on how serious the situation is. They need to focus on school right now. I fear they would both melt down emotionally if they understood the severity of their mom’s situation.
Honestly, there’s not any news right now that seems more important than what we have going on here. Jaywalking was legalized in New York City, and if you’ve ever been there you understand why that’s such a big deal. Actress Terri Garr died from complications of MS. Her movies were a big part of my youth and it just doesn’t seem possible that she was 79. She had a smile that was contagious and a sense of comedic timing that was wonderful.
Think fast food is safe? A Teen is fighting kidney failure after eating McDonald’s Quarter Pounders. This was the week before the E. coli O157:H7 bacteria was detected. Maybe it’s better to just eat at home.
President Biden disappointed me yesterday when he suggested that supporters of the Orange Felon are ‘garbage.’ I understand the temptation to make such a comment, but the rhetoric has gotten out of hand the past week. Sure, a lot of people have really shitty ideas for government. Elon Musk and Steve Bannon are among them. But let’s be extremely clear that it’s ideas and concepts such as Project 2025 that are garbage, not people. Such statements, regardless of who makes them, are insulting to all of humanity. Just stop doing it.
The kids are on their way to school. Cats have been fed. Dogs are still asleep. I have coffee. My stomach is doing flips as I still worry about Kat. Hopefully, the doctor should be around soon. Until then, we all have to wait.
I’m fine. Seriously. I just have a cat hair in my eye.
Welcome to the 95th anniversary of the Black Tuesday stock market crash. Are we any better off than our Grandparents and Great-Grandparents were? Technologically, sure, but is our quality of life any better? Certainly not for everyone.
I’m going to be short this morning because I’m typing in the dark. The breaker finally went completely out during the Steelers/Giants game last night. We’ll get it fixed later today.
Kat’s home and trying to rest when the cats will let her. She still has a low-grade fever and feels like crap. Tipper has her PSAT today. Gabe has the day off.
I had an exciting day with Jen yesterday. We took pictures of the new Chevy Colorado as they made a mess of the North 40 and then went to a nature preserve in Wabash. I have pictures, but they’re on the PC. You’ll just have to wait.
Newswise, here’s the headlines that matter:
If you make it through that mess, you have more time on your hands than most people.
Life is short. Find something today that makes you smile.
More coffee usually does it for me.
Sunday ended up being anything but a day of rest. In fact, I’m typing part of this update Sunday evening because I have no idea what situation I’ll wake up to in the morning. Let’s take the day in somewhat chronological order. We were going quietly through the morning when the power started flickering. At first, it would blink for a second then come right back on. About an hour later, it happened again. Our first reaction was to blame the wind for causing wires to cross somewhere. We really didn’t think it would become a huge problem.
Then, Solaris decided to be destructive and threw my fan off the lamp table, causing it to break. G tried his best to fix it because he was sure that he could, but the fan refused to respond to his life support. I’m going to have to try to sleep listening to all the other sounds tonight.
When the power blinked again, near 1:00, I decided to go ahead and take another nap. I couldn’t watch the Colts game or the Bengals, so I might as well rest. I figured I’d wake up in time for the Washington/Chicago game.
Wrong again. A little after 3:00, I heard sirens, which isn’t unusual. Then, I heard them enter our subdivision, which doesn’t happen as often but does happen. I checked to make sure there was nothing going on in front of the house again, then came back to the room. The dogs wouldn’t leave me alone, though. They knew something outside was wrong. Finally, they convinced me to go outside. Still, I don’t see anything out front. Then, the dogs started barking at the Northeast corner of the fence, on the opposite side of the house. That’s usually a sign that something is happening down the street from us.
As I came around the corner of the house, it was obvious what had the dogs’ attention: six police cars gathered two blocks to our East. Other neighbors were starting to come outside and look, too. I finally got the dogs (mostly Hamilton) to quiet down and it was then that I heard the bullhorn of the SWAT commander telling someone to put down their gun and come out with their hands up. I think the entire neighborhood was holding its breath as we waited. We could see a sniper on a roof and other officers with their rifles trained and ready. An ambulance came in and waited out of range in front of our house. After several tense minutes, the situation was resolved. The ambulance moved in, the cops moved out, and all the neighbors remarked about what a shithole the city has become.
I came back inside and the power was out again. By now, it was staying off long enough that the clocks on the appliances were all blinking. When it came back on, I started my computer back up. Then G started his computer as well. The power immediately went back down. When the power came back, the same thing happened. Then, we noticed that it was only the bedrooms being affected. The washer and dryer were still going. The living room light was still on. That was the heads-up to check the breakers.
I went to check and none of the breakers had flipped. I started turning them off and back on, one at a time, because nothing was marked. After flipping the third one-off, the power came back to the bedrooms. But when G tried powering up his PC, it went back down again.
Bottom line, we have a breaker issue. But, we have questions because this is the original breaker box in a house that’s roughly 80 years old. We have no idea when the breakers or any other wiring might have been updated. There’s no record.
I messaged Kat. Her fever was back up and she was debating going back to the ER. I filled her in and told her to stay in Fishers and not worry about things here. For the moment, she needs to focus on herself, not things here at the house.
I looked at the breaker panel. Do individual breakers have fuses? All that’s visible are the breaker switches. Is there a way to know exactly what I need without turning all the power off to remove the panel cover? I’m going to try to catch our next-door neighbor in the morning. His house is wired similarly to ours and I know he’s completely replaced his breaker box twice. I’m hoping he can give me some answers. I just don’t want the matter to end up on Kat’s plate. She has more than enough right now.
I thought for sure that Chicago had beaten Washington with a last-minute touchdown, and I think they thought the same, but it was not to be. With 25 seconds on the clock, the Commanders’ rookie quarterback, Jayden Daniels, heaved a 53-yard pass that seemed absolutely impossible. Noah Brown caught it and took it to the end zone. Commanders win, 18-15. I’m going to say it again: Jayden Daniels is the future of the NFL. The kid is amazing. And Chicago? Better luck next week.
Now it’s Monday morning. Everything appears to be okay, at least for the moment. I’m still not turning on my PC until after the kids leave for school. I found a black screen white noise video on YouTube and let that serenade me to sleep, but the cats kept stopping it when they’d jump on the desk. I think I need a better option.
Both kids have PSAT tests this week. G’s is today. He seems relatively ready. Tipper’s is tomorrow. I’m not sure she has a clue what to expect. It will be interesting to see if G’s score differs much from last year. He tests relatively well as long as he is in a quiet room, not being disturbed. Tipper finds tests more of a challenge. In this case, I’m not sure she appreciates what the test is trying to accomplish.
The three primary news sources I check each morning, the Associated Press, Reuters, and the New York Times are all in agreement with their headlines this morning. The Orange Felon’s rally at Madison Square Garden was vile, racist, and misogynistic. Are we surprised or shocked? Of course not. What bothers me is that so many people are comfortable with the rhetoric. With all the emphasis in society on doing away with bullying, why the fuck would we ever consider electing one as president?
Anita Hill has an interesting OpEd in today’s Times, The Smearing of Kamala Harris. Dr. Hill knows a smear job when she sees one. It was her name that was dragged through the mud during the Clarence Thomas Senate hearings all those years ago. As time has passed, we see that she was right to blow the whistle on one of the worst characters to ever sit on the Supreme Court. We should have listened then. Will we listen now?
This morning’s AP-NORC poll shows that US voters are concerned about post-election violence and efforts to overturn the results. I know I’m concerned. I look at how things are going in the Georgian (the country) elections and fear that we are every bit as bad, if not possibly worse, than them. Similar things are happening with elections in Lithuania and Uruguay. The world is a dangerous place and we, citizens of presumably the strongest nation in the world, are doing more to make things worse than better. Foreign threats to the US election are on the rise, and officials are moving faster to expose them, but will that be enough? ‘Take our lives seriously,’ Michelle Obama pleads as she rallies for Kamala Harris in Michigan, but is anyone listening?
Global economy chiefs fret over a Trump return as US election draws closer. The Commercial real estate industry worries over higher taxes as election looms. The GOP is going in heavy on immigrants and trans people, but it’s a South African immigrant who worked in the US illegally who’s leading their charge. None of this makes a damn lick of sense, but one thing is for sure: Your vote does not merely affect the course of the country but of the world. Everyone is going to be looking in our direction for the next two weeks and if we blow it, if we elect a fascist or allow them to commit acts of chaos and destruction, it is democracy as a global ideal, not a national one, that takes the hit. Remember, we set the example. Other countries followed. Are we going to kill the dream we started?
Oh, and if you think the election is the reason gas prices are down, guess again. Oil prices plunged 5% after a limited Israeli retaliatory attack on Iran. There are a number of places where the price at the pump has dropped below $3 a gallon. Don’t give any politician the credit for something they didn’t do.
A Florida woman was found guilty of murder for leaving her boyfriend to die in a suitcase. Ladies, don’t tell me you haven’t at least thought about doing this to an abusive person in your life.
A Lebanese family was holding a Sunday gathering when an Israeli strike toppled their building. There’s no question that the strike illustrates Israel’s willingness to kill significant numbers of civilians in pursuit of a single target. More than 70 people died. Innocent people getting together as a family. And we’re supporting this.
But hey, McDonald’s Quarter Pounder is back on the menu after testing rules out beef patties as an E. coli source. That’s what’s important, isn’t it? What ever would we do without our overpriced fat sources?
Even the weather isn’t cooperating this week. After a beautifully cool autumnal weekend, winds begin picking up tonight, and into tomorrow and we’ll see highs back in the 80s on both Tuesday and Wednesday. Then, just in time for all that Trick-or-Treating, it’s going to rain on Thursday. I know Tipper’s planning on going to haunted houses with furry friends.
Ugh. I need to get dressed and get the dogs outside. They’ve been calm and quiet so far this morning. They’re about the only thing calm in my universe. Best to try and keep them that way.
And more coffee. I definitely need more coffee.
Wednesday Morning Update: 11/20/24
What, then, shall we make of today if it comes to us bearing nothing but trouble, sacks full of heartache, luggage with nothing but wrinkled misery? Do we confine ourselves to the pinhole vision of old men and bitter women teetering on the cusp of death, or do we dig for them their graves so that we might gleefully push them in and cover their decay with dirt? Is there any good found while cowering in fear? Rather, let us take to the feeble a battle they are unable to fight; for the noise they make is the sound of broken swords, clanging meaninglessly in scabbards fastened loosely around protruding waists.
I’m finding little use this morning in attempting to recount for yet another day the perils of my health conditions. Rain is in the offing for this morning and colder temperatures follow behind that. Even if I weren’t on chemo and my head wasn’t screaming this would still not be a day likely to etch itself into my memories for any good or pleasurable reason. Brief respite is given by those familiars who look on silently, rubbing a nuzzle against my hand, not conscious of the aid they provide. My shirt, pulled fresh from my closet this morning, is already covered with hair that is not mine, making me a walking allergen.
G came home from school excited about a D&D campaign he is planning for his friends to enjoy come January. His dreams are lofty and to achieve them I’ve recommended the works of Huxley and Asimov so that he needn’t reinvent what has already been so beautifully created. Alas, those volumes that were once on my shelves are no more. I am continually mystified at how pages filled with ink can disappear into some special ether that consumes nothing but that which I most urgently desire to read.
Tipper gleefully announced her intention to spend Black Friday in the company of her boyfriend. Their intent is to visit a Hot Topic at one of the remaining malls in the area. They are employing a strategy that assumes waiting until the afternoon when more eager shoppers have exhausted themselves, will provide them with greater access. He has promised to buy her whatever it is that she desires. I am hopeful that what she desires is on sale.
Familial lives change around me without my interference. I am of little use to any of them except as a source to share their syncopated excitements. As they grow into their own experiences I am freed to spend my time on other goals if only my body would consummate the intentions of my mind.
Perhaps the news of the day should worry me more. Does a television doctor threaten the health and wellness of my future? Will one steeped in the art of frivolous deception steer education into a mythological abyss? Can the assemblage of a privileged few threaten the humanity of those our ancestors embraced? Malfeasance has a short life and its demise is hastened with the raising of our voices. Are the streets not ours? The wind carries our objections and determination in gigabyte packages to audiences whose faces we never see. Political pyramids topple from the vibrations of marching feet today as surely as did the mythical walls of Jericho yield to the stomping and shouting of homeless nomads in antiquity. Even under perceived threat, our lives, your lives, are more powerful than the heated words of a company whose foundation is pretense.
All prayers are meaningless when there is no deity to hear them. No deity ever conceived gives an ear to the desires of hate. My love for you is infinitely stronger than imagined characters formed by willful ignorance. Your love for each other, open and unapologetic, demolishes the fear-fueled diatribes of those who clutch pearls in the shadow of a temple, a mosque, or a cross. Stand up. Clothe yourselves in flags of your own making. Set foot to the demolition of abhorrent attitudes and loathsome schemes.
Who can stop a nation whose will is to love as one loves without boundary or exclusion? One cannot make a mortar of hate. What is formed of execration crumbles like dust. Stand up. Blow your horns and stomp your feet with pride and defiance. The graves waiting to be filled will not hold you but the corpses of those whose faces turn orange as they scream into the winter wind.
Stand the fuck up. No one has put your feet in cement. The visions of threats are nothing more than a mirage. Your voice cannot be silenced. Your humanity cannot be defeated. If love does conquer all then all shall fall before you. Stand. Move. Yell. Scream. Defeat.
And do not bother to lay a wreath at the grave of hate.
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