I forgot these were there, and there are still more, but 22 is enough for one post.
The phone just dinged with an interesting alert: I used my phone one hour and one minute less this week than the week before. That seems odd since I had to use it quite a bit during Thursday’s adventures. But then, outside of Thursday, there hasn’t been much going on except watching wildflowers and clover growing in the yard. The news is frustratingly redundant: war, protests, courtroom tactics, political crimes. After you’ve read it the first time, you don’t need to go back, do you?
I also think I need to share less about how I’m feeling. The things I say can too easily be used against me. And based on the site’s stats, people are much more interested in the pictures, anyway. So, I’ll just be quiet about things that only matter to me.
The latest update to AI on Photoshop screwed up. Everything added via an AI prompt is blown out, often to the point of being unrecoverable. The results have been nowhere near as colorful and interesting. Finer details such as drop shadows from added elements are missing completely. There are other options, but they take a lot more time.
Warmer weather means more time outside with the dogs. I think we spent close to three hours outside yesterday. They had fun barking at everything that moved. I’m damn sure going to miss them when I leave.
That’s assuming I can find a place at all. I’ve been nothing but frustrated. Social Security isn’t enough to cover rent, bills, or food. I’m increasingly getting the feeling that the universe wants me to disappear simply.
Here’s a picture of clover before we mow this morning.
There is no such thing as presidential immunity and anyone arguing so is a traitor.
I dare you to prove me wrong. We were all taught that no one was above the law. The entire purpose of the Constitution was to make dead sure that the United States does not fall under the absolute power of a king or dictator. Loathing should be directed toward anyone who advocates otherwise. To support presidential immunity is to advocate for the overthrow of the government through such acts.
Next Saturday, May 4, marks the 54th anniversary of the Kent State massacre, where National Guard troops were sent to break up a Vietnam War protest. Four innocent students died. Ten others were injured. Among the lessons we should have learned is that a) The military doesn’t belong on college campuses; b) college students have every right to protest; and c) Just because an idea isn’t popular doesn’t make it wrong. Obviously, we haven’t learned those lessons.
In its regular round-up of photos from the week, Reuters published a large number of photos from protests on university campuses. They included everything from violent encounters with police (the violence often started by the police making potentially illegal demands for ending the protests) to accounts of the Palestinian genocide such as this one:
And this one:
For those of us who were alive and paying attention to that fateful day in 1970, these images should bring back some frightening memories of an age some might have that was relegated to the past. The idea that students would be skipping class to protest war is one we want to put on the shelf with the history books of what we want to think of as a “more troubling” time. Was the Vietnam situation really any more troubling than what we’re facing today? I don’t think so. In fact, what we’re seeing today seems to be a clear indication that we’ve not grown, we’ve not become more intelligent, and we’re definitely not more humane than we were in 1970. We’ve not learned the lesson of that fateful day, which means the Kent State Four died in vain.
Perhaps we need a refresher course as to why these protests are necessary in the first place. The issue at the core of the protests is the longstanding and complex debate around a two-state solution. When the modern state of Israel was created in 1947, the United Nations put forward a plan to partition Palestine into separate Arab and Jewish states, with special international administration over Jerusalem. This plan was accepted by Jewish leaders, who were allocated about 56% of the land area, despite comprising only about one-third of the population and owning less than 7% of the land. On the other hand, the Arab League and Palestinian Arabs rejected the plan, leading to the Arab-Israeli War following the end of the British Mandate.
This initial division and the successive wars and conflicts have left deep scars and continued political and territorial disputes. Over the decades, the idea of a two-state solution has been supported by various international bodies as a potential way to resolve the conflict, ensuring a peaceful co-existence between an independent Palestinian state and Israel. However, numerous challenges and failures in negotiations, changes in leadership, and external influences have hampered consistent progress toward this solution. Understanding this historical context helps clarify why the issue remains so passionate and why many feel protests are a necessary form of expression and advocacy for their rights and visions for the future.
Partisan religiously-fueled politics have long been the bain of any lasting solution. Former President Jimmy Carter received the Nobel Peace Prize for seemingly brokering a solution between Yasar Arafat representing the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) and the late Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin. Factions external to the two political organizations resorted to violence in their opposition. Hamas, who currently controls Palestine, overthrew the PLO. Rabin was assassinated in 1995 by an ultra-nationalist who allegedly had ties with current Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu. President Reagan tried solidifying relations with Israel, but that blew up in his face as it only made violent Palestinian factions more determined. Former President Bill Clinton tried his hand at a Camp David Peace Accord only to have that fail pretty much before either leader made it back home.
What’s the fuss all about? History. Both Palestinians and Israelis claim that they are the rightful owners of the land, going back thousands of years when both tribes were born through a wandering sheepherder named Abram. God, in one of those acts for which there were no third-party witnesses, told Abram that he and his family were chosen for all time and that the land was theirs.
Trouble started immediately. Abram didn’t have an heir. So, he fucked his side-girl, Rachel, and she had a son named Ishmael. Problem solved, right? Nope. Abram’s wife surprised everyone and even in her “old age” had her own son, Issac. Who would be the rightful heir? According to mythology, Abram told Ishmael to go in one direction and then took Issac in a different direction. Ishmael is seen as the founder of Islam, and Issac as the father of Israel and the two factions have been fighting over the same damn piece of land ever since. Both sides claim Abram gave the land to them. ALL of it.
Oh, but there’s more. Abram had more sons: Zimran, Ishbak, Jokshan, Midian, son of Abraham, Medan, son of Abraham. They each staked a claim to the land. THEN, Issac had twins, Jacob and Esau, and they weren’t able to get along and they each claimed the land. However, along came the Egyptians and everybody lost everything. They all went back to being nomadic tribes with no right to claim any piece of land as their home.
WHY THE FUCK CAN’T THEY JUST LET EACH OTHER LIVE IN PEACE? Because, quite honestly, the whole place is too factionalized. Even Netanyahu doesn’t have a majority of Israeli support within their own country! There’s no agreement anywhere and without any agreement there is never going to be a solution. Period.
What does exist are millions of innocent people who want nothing more than to live their lives, raise their children, sell their goods, and go home at the end of the day to a good meal and a nap. They want to play music, sing songs, play games, dance, and go to weddings without having to worry that some mother-fucking jackass with a theo-political agenda is going to detonate a bomb in the middle of everything.
Instead, one side bombs the other and the side bombs feel they have to retaliate. Who’s getting hurt when this happens? Innocent people. Always. Innocent people.
Innocent people are what fuels the protests. Specifically, the United States continues to fund the genocide of innocent people. Netanyahu likes saying that it’s just a price of war, that they can’t tell the difference between Hamas militants and a three-year-old child or a convoy delivering food aid. If they can’t tell who the fuck the enemy is then maybe they should put their fucking guns down and we (the US) should use our money on enemies we can define such as homelessness, hunger, and healthcare.
As with the Vietnam protests, what bothered college students was the number of innocent people in Vietnam and Cambodia who were being killed by US and UN Coalition troops. Remember this picture?
Those were our troops who burned their village, killed their parents, and sent them running from home, clothed or not. How could we not protest this type of action? How can we sit still in the face of such overwhelming inhumanity? The soldiers in this picture are guilty of genocide!
And here we are right back at it again, killing children, bombing hospitals, pretending that we can’t tell the difference between a Hamas militant and a starving child! We’re not really that stupid. We have facial recognition that can identify people in a crowd of thousands. WE KNOW DAMN WELL WHO THE BAD PEOPLE ARE, we just like killing in large numbers.
As reported on April 8, 2024, the conflict between Israel and Hamas has resulted in more than 34,000 fatalities. This figure includes 95 journalists and 224 humanitarian workers, with 179 of those being staff members of UNRWA. A substantial number of these deaths, totaling over 33,091, occurred in the Gaza Strip, where 70% of the deceased are women and children.
I was sitting on the bus yesterday morning, looking through the reams of nonsense, when I got a notification from the IMPD that said a protest had been broken up and 14 people were arrested for Obstructing Traffic. This is the image they shared:
IMPD made sure to mention that “not everyone that was arrested was from Indianapolis.” WTF? Four are from Fishers, which borders Indianapolis at 96th Street. Then one each from Lafayette, Columbus, and Union City. If that statement intended to make it sound as though the city were being invaded, then maybe IMPD needs to take a look at who the fuck is staying in our hotels this weekend. Not many of those folks are from Indy, either, and they live much further away than fucking Fishers.
Police/government attempts to stop the protests are their way of trying to control the narrative and keep everyone in line, something they’ve always been bad at doing because it’s not their fucking job. Protests both on college campuses and in the middle of the street are exercises of the freedom of expression as guaranteed by the First Amendment of the Constitution. And, as is the nature of protests, they’re not going to agree with those who are in power. If they agreed with what the administration is doing, then they wouldn’t need to protest, would they?
Sure, there are other means of communication, but which one is likely to actually get the immediate attention of those who are responsible for making a decision: a nicely worded email that Senator Young never sees, or the protest that blocks his way to the Capitol? Which is more effective? Which is more likely to result in something being done.
You don’t have to like what the protestors are saying, but if there’s one lesson that we should have learned from May 4, 1970, is that we probably need to start listening because history is almost certain to prove that they are right.
Politicians are stupid. Listen to the people who see the plight, the misery, and recognize the genocide their great-grandparents ignored. Until then, the protests will continue.
Fail. That’s the only way to describe yesterday’s attempt to look at rental properties. I looked at one that could have been workable were it not for a handful of issues that, particularly for me, made it a non-starter. The first would be location. I wasn’t expecting much, but it was worse than I’d imagined. I should have known when the bus driver waited, watched me cross the street, and started walking before continuing his route. I assume that he was considering if I knew where I was. Interestingly, the two blocks just south of 37th Street, especially along Park, are very nice, with million-dollar homes set high and off the street. You wouldn’t think that there’s a crime problem in the area at all. But finding three almost-identical apartment buildings that, from the outside, appear to be barely standing, surrounded by deserted and burned-out buildings at an intersection with a long history of crime was more unnerving than I expected. The distance between 37th Street and 38th, a major through street, is less than 50 yards. The noise level, just normal traffic for 38th Street, couldn’t be sufficiently muted by the buildings.
The wood floors and terrific natural light were wonderful. I might have applied based on that element alone. But neither the bathroom nor the kitchen were functional. They were both too narrow to be workable. ZERO counter space. Apartment-sized appliances, which are more expensive than standard appliances, would have to be purchased and even then one would have to step sideways to get through the kitchen.
Then came the matter of the cats. The ad very clearly states that pets are welcome and doesn’t list any fees. Guess again. A statement from the property management company revealed that each cat would have to be evaluated separately. A background check would be done on both of them before they would be approved, and then there would be a fee assigned for each animal. WHAT THE LIVING FUCK? I’ll ask both the twins, but I’m pretty sure neither of them has a police record, despite the fact that Solaris is guilty of stealing food directly off our plates. And yeah, in the right like I guess Frankie (pictured above) kinda looks like an evil mob boss, but he sleeps 98% of the day. How could he have time to get in trouble? And who the fuck is running these background checks?An outfit called PetScreening.com. The concept is that not all “bully breeds” are bad and deserve a chance. Okay, fine. What CATS are bully breeds? Who the fuck is keeping ANY records on cats other than their veterinarians? Aren’t animals entitled to doctor/patient confidentiality? The whole thing is a money-making scam that gives property managers an additional way to make revenue during the application process.
At the end of the day, with all the fees and having to purchase appliances, it would cost me in excess of $2,000 to move into this rat-hole of an apartment. And with the differences between the ad and the reality, I have to assume that the property managers are not to be trusted. Pet screening? Really? Anyone who would try to push that bullshit past you will also try to raise your rent mid-contract. So, nope. Not considering this property or any other managed by Wilmoth Group. I checked after the fact and Wilmoth Group isn’t even rated, at all, by PropertyManagement.com. I should have checked before responding to the ad. That’s on me.
I took the Red Line back to the Transit Center and walked from there to the salon. Along the way, under the shade of a 12-foot pine on a carefully manicured piece of right-of-way, a homeless woman was sleeping under a light blanket. The shade was dark enough that I almost didn’t see her, which I’m sure was what made the spot attractive. She didn’t appear to be very old. She obviously wasn’t in a very safe place. My heart sank.
By the time I made it to the salon, my body was done. I was shaking, stumbling, and having issues with the bumps in the sidewalk even with my cane. Kat got me something to eat and brought me home. That was the end of my day. I went to bed except for making cheese fries that no one ate. I was nauseous. My head was pounding. I was dizzy and partially incoherent. I can’t keep doing this. I have to find another way to search.
I don’t expect much to happen today. I’m still exhausted and my head is spinning even as I type. I feel safe being right next to the bed, carefully guarded by the pups and the twins. It saddens me that I can’t take the pups with me. They need a fenced yard, though. There’s no way my grip is strong enough to safely take them out on a leash. They have no clue that any change is coming.
There are thoughts on other issues as well, but my head will have to put pieces together better than it currently is for me to verbalize those.
There has to be a better way to live.
There is a lot to unpack this morning and I have to put it all in one post because I’m going to be gone most of the day. First, the good news, G was NOT one of those on the IndyGo bus that caught fire yesterday morning. He was in transit on his way to school at this time, but the bus involved was on a different route. I think what is most disturbing is that this fire was set intentionally. Who the fuck sets fire to a bus? The suspect is behind bars, but I’m willing to bet that there is some form of mental illness involved because Indy doesn’t know what the fuck to do with its mentally ill citizens.
I’m up early this morning, having woken at 3:30 stressing over this whole housing issue. G picked me up a bus pass for today so that I can go look at a couple of places, but they are both right at $600 a month which is $200 a month more than I should be spending. Neither of them looks like much from the outside. Here’s a picture of the first one I’m looking at. It’s a multi-unit dwelling and I’m looking at a one-bedroom apartment on the ground floor:
The crumbling front porch is just the first of my concerns. There are no signs that the facility has air conditioning. Perhaps when this house was built, 60 or so years ago, AC wasn’t that big of an issue for homes this far North. Summers were moderate and tolerable. However, that is no longer the case as 100+ degree days are not unheard of and multiple days over 95 have become common. Normally, this would not be even a remote consideration. Its location is but a block south of where yesterday’s bus fire occurred. This is a high-crime neighborhood where one can be sitting in their home minding their own business and still become a victim. Sure, there are some fast food places within walking distance, but one would need to risk getting outside and walking to them without getting mugged.
And this is one of the better choices I’ve found.
One of this morning’s headlines is “Many older adults think they will never retire and worry about making ends meet, study finds.” 1 in 4 older Americans are worried they’ll have to work their entire lives. That’s assuming that they’ll be healthy enough to work. If you’re like me and not healthy enough to work, then you’re just screwed. Go ahead and throw us out with the trash. The GOP has gutted Social Security and other safety net programs to the point that none of them are sufficient for one to live even the most meager of lives, and if you believe the Democrats who say they feel differently, you’re a fool. They don’t. At least, their actions don’t prove it. Homelessness is a nation-wide problem. Rents are completely out of control, and if you can find a place that works with your budget, chances are high that, like the facility above, it’s dilapidated and run-down. We’re being told that we’re not worth saving, not worth helping, and not worth any consideration. You damn sure don’t want us on your streets, in your stores, eating at your restaurants; the prices tell us that much. We’re shut out of healthcare, and forced to rely on municipal transportation that is uncomfortable, unpredictable, and especially inconvenient in bad weather. Sure, we raised you, taught you, took your pictures for free, but now, no one wants us. No one can afford to have us around.
Four years ago, when I was first diagnosed with CLL, I was told that it was a cancer that one dies with, not from. Now, here I am, one of the exceptions, taking chemo medication that costs $20,000 a month, unable to stay upright more than three or four hours at a time, frequently incoherent and confused, and less than stable on my feet. Today, I get to test all these conditions as I get on a bus to go look at a rental I really don’t want in a neighborhood I absolutely don’t trust, just to try and stay alive. One of the things that causes CLL to flare up is stress. “Avoid stress,” I’m told. How the fuck am I supposed to do that when I have to find a new place to live before construction starts around here? Kat says she wants me to be somewhere safe, but I can’t afford safe! At a minimum, safe is going to cost in excess of $1500, and that’s without utilities, food, and other bills paid.
I worry about who’s going to take my place here. Who’s going to make sure the kids do their chores? Who’s going to shut the gate and take the dogs out long enough for them to actually get some exercise? Who’s going to monitor how much food the cats are getting so they don’t overstuff themselves? Who’s going to spend the $600 a month I spend on groceries and pet food? I can’t take the dogs with me because they need a fenced yard and no one has a fenced yard.
And this is why I was awake at 3:00 this morning. How is this going to work? The kids will be up soon. I can’t take a shower until after they leave, I have to be on the bus at 8:37, and I’ll be gone until late in the afternoon. What happens when my body says it doesn’t want to move anymore? What happens if I fall and don’t know where I am? What if I forget to get off the bus? I need help but there’s no help available. Those who care don’t have the time. Those with the time don’t care. I have to get this done today because there’s too high of a chance of rain to risk scheduling anything until next Tuesday.
I don’t know what else to do but drink plenty of coffee, take my meds, and silently scream into the void that is my brain.
Before you ask, no she’s not smoking, and those are giraffe spots she colored onto her arm. Her Grandpa asked what she wanted for her birthday and it arrived yesterday. She’s beyond excited and plans to wear it to some luncheon at school. This is the reality going on inside my daughter’s head. There’s not a damn thing anyone can do to control it. They would be fools to try. She is unique and chooses to express herself through what she wears. Anyone having a problem with that needs to talk to me.
The rain kept me in a very blase mood yesterday. I had enough to write another post, but I couldn’t make myself do it. I did look at some apartments and made arrangements to look at a couple of them tomorrow, but they both expect one to make 3X the rent, which is absolutely laughable. Everything else about them is workable, but Social Security controls what I make. I don’t get any say in the matter.
The Senate passed the ban on TikTok last night, so now it will be interesting to see if the President puts an imaginary danger in front of free speech. Let me repeat: there is ZERO evidence that the owners of TikTok have any method for transferring user details to the Chinese government. And who the fuck is posting such information on TikTok in the first place? Actually, I could ask who in their right mind is posting on TikTok at all. However, I know a number of brands are deeply invested in the platform as part of their marketing plan. This is going to be another matter that drags its way through the courts, taking up time over an issue that has no viable evidence behind it.
The Senate also passed the funding bill for Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan. The wars will go on because the US just doesn’t know how to exist anymore without being in the middle of someone else’s war. We’ve been this way since the end of WWII. Our government saw how war is an economic boon and decided to make it part of our existence. We went from Germany to Korea to Vietnam to the Persian Gulf to Iraq to Afghanistan to Ukraine, and now Israel and Iran. None of it makes any sense. We now do incredible amounts of business with Germany, Korea, and Vietnam. The mission for the latter two was never achieved. Communists are still in power. In fact, one could argue that the Korean situation is worse now than it was in 1954. But hey, it makes money, so you can bet our government is going to make sure peace never actually arrives.
In another round of “Politicians Be Stupid,” Georgia’s governor signed a bill yesterday stating that parents must consent for minors to sign up for social media. They also copied the Texas law about showing proof of age for porn. Shall we note the number of Constitutional and realistic problems with this stupid law?
Politicians have never been the brightest bunch of low-watt bulbs in the box. Yet, we seem to have elected a group that would rather yell about their moral expectations of others and follow those morals for themselves. And would should all be extremely mindful that, as of this week, this Congress has passed fewer than 60 bills, whereas the average for this time in the process would normally have more than 350 bills to its name. They have no sense of why we elected them, why we sent them to Congress, and what the fuck they’re supposed to be doing up there. None of them deserve to be re-elected, but I don’t think we, as alleged adults, have the common sense to elect anyone any better. All any of them are going to do is stand there and babble like baboons.
Meanwhile, I need a new place to live. Do you think I can rent a small parcel of land and just dig myself a hole? I’m beginning to think that might be a better idea. Or, perhaps the world will just blow us up to get rid of this invasive species.
Life yesterday seemed rather easy until it wasn’t. The dogs and I were able to spend a little over an hour and a half, total, outside. The temperatures were perfect for them to run and romp around the yard chasing the squirrels. There wasn’t anything else pressing. I spent some time looking at apartments and such, but that needs to be a separate post.
I didn’t see Tipper when she came home from school. I was napping at the time, and by the time I was awake, she was asleep and didn’t wake up until everyone else was asleep. Even G took a long nap when he got home. Mondays seem to be exhausting for everyone.
My body decided it was done around 6:30. I stayed awake long enough for Kat to get home. I made myself dinner and then crashed. I’m fairly certain everyone was in bed by 8:30.
If I were to write another book, it would have to be titled, “How To Sleep With Eight Animals In Your Bed.” That was the total number I was working with last night. The dogs started on either side of me with the cats gathered at the foot of the bed. Then someone moved. Once one of them moved, all the others had to reposition themselves. This happened all night. One of the wanderers, Pinball and Gabby, would leave for a moment, which would initiate a shift, then come back fifteen minutes later, causing another shift. They’ll occasionally go an hour without anyone moving, and it is possible to sleep through their adjustments, but sleeping with that many animals has been an exercise in limiting my own movements while trying to ignore theirs. Having a firm mattress is definitely a plus.
I’m apparently losing my grip as well. We use sanitizing wipes in the bathroom for a number of reasons. During the night, we ran out. I got a new container and tried to open it. A plastic seal was keeping the wipes moist. There was a tab to remove the seal. I couldn’t grip it well enough to get the damn thing open. I had to wait until Kat was awake. This is yet another disappointing progression that eventually leads to needing someone else’s help for everything. I’m not happy.
Rain is in the forecast for this afternoon. We’re all thrilled [sarcasm]. I’d like to go back to bed but there are things to do, apartments to look for. Insanity to consider.
Maybe we’ll just go for the insanity and be done with it.
One of the first things in my feed this morning was an article from CNN titled, “Baring it all: Breasts take center stage at this major exhibition” The focus is an exhibition in Florence, Italy’s Palazzo Franchetti. Why they didn’t invite me to participate, I don’t know. I definitely have enough content to fill a room or two without including any one pair more than once. I’d be offended by the exclusion if I had the energy. That’s okay, though. I’ll settle for entertaining you with re-processed images from 2013’s Rite of Spring series. And hey, there’s no admission fee this way.
Talking about global warming on a day in April when I woke up to 36-degree Fahrenheit temperatures may feel to some as if we’re perpetuating some kind of myth or conspiracy theory. We have this horrible tendency to consider global warming theory as meaning the same thing to all regions around the world. We’ve blocked it from being taught in many schools because we fail to understand how critical the matter is to the world as a whole and probably won’t recognize the danger until it’s too late.
Warning: for much of the world, it’s already too late.
Take a look at the picture above. I’ve been coming to the same spot in this park for 19 years. Normally, including last year, I could not stand on dry ground to take this picture from this position. The water would be at least ankle-deep. While we’ve set some rainfall records for the month, there still is a deficit in the amount of water flooding traditional wetlands. This may not yet affect how green the grass is in your overly manicured earth-warming yard, but it does affect the wildlife living off the wetlands, and that wildlife inevitably impacts the quality of the air you breathe and the temperatures in which you are forced to live and work. Changes that are occurring are not yet to the point that they are slapping you in the face on a daily basis, but that doesn’t mean they’re not sneaking up behind you, ready to pounce.
We tend to think of the Middle East as a relatively dry place, don’t we? We hear the reference and think of camels and deserts and turbans. Last week, the Dubai Airport had to close and a record number of people were killed because of rain and flooding. Just this morning, The Washington Post published the story: “Flooding Wreaks Havoc Across East Africa. Burundi Is Especially Hard Hit.” Climate change is real and if it’s not already affecting you in disastrous ways, just wait: you could be next.
The climate on this little blue ball of nonsense has never been all that stable. That’s why our most ancient ancestors created deities whom they could blame when weather-related disasters such as floods, storms, famine, and drought. They didn’t have any understanding of science or weather patterns and how they work, so they invented something to help them understand. They were wrong, but it gave them comfort to pray to those deities and offer them sacrifices.
Now, as our understanding of climate and weather continues to increase, we can see more reliably how actions in one part of the world affect weather in other parts of the world. What we do in North America has a disastrous effect on people on the African continent. As things change in the Middle East, Europe can suffer changes that upend the entire food supply and their ability to work outdoors.
Yet, right here on the ground level people in the United States, continue to remain willfully ignorant of climate matters and think that this whole warming thing is “just a phase that will straighten itself out.” Yes, it’s going to straighten itself out, but it may not do so in a manner conducive to the continuation of human life on this planet. We are latecomers to the scene anyway. The planet has no obligation to keep us alive.
One of the reports released earlier this morning states “World’s Workers Increasingly At Risk As Climate Changes.” This report from the International Labor Organisation (ILO) should make everyone shudder more than a bit. Among its findings are fun things like air pollution killing 860,00 workers each year. Now, compared to a global population of just under eight billion, 860,000 may not sound like much unless you or your children happen to be among that 860,000.
“We do have some (countries) that already limit exposure to high temperatures and also limit exposure to air pollution, but we rarely have occupational exposure limits set for the other hazards,” said Manal Azzi, ILO Senior Specialist on occupational safety and health.
Hmmm. Could he possibly be talking about the states of Florida and Texas that block local governments from passing laws that protect outdoor laborers? Seriously, the states of Florida and Texas won’t allow city governments to require that workers be provided with shade and water during the hottest months. This isn’t only a denial of climate change, but genocide toward those who work in extreme heat, people who are often among the lowest paid and least likely to be politically involved.
When you consider the full cocktail of environmental changes that affect those who work outdoors, that 860,000 number jumps to over 3.4 billion. Is that a large enough number for you? That’s more than 90% of the entire US population. Anyone who spends any significant time outdoors is in trouble and should be considered at high risk for lethal health issues.
Another article released from Brussels this morning warns that ” Europe is increasingly facing bouts of heat so intense that the human body cannot cope, as climate change continues to raise temperatures.” This wonderful bit of news comes from the EU’s Copernicus Climate Change Service and the World Meteorological Organization. What they’re specifically looking at is a 7% increase in the parts of Europe where daytime temps have exceeded 46 degrees Celsius, the point at which the body needs immediate healthcare to prevent heat stroke and other issues. In one particularly disastrous case, a 44-year-old man painting road markings in the Italian town of Lodi collapsed from the heat and died before an ambulance had time to respond.
Europe is the fastest-warming continent on the planet. Heat-related deaths there have increased by more than 30% in the past twenty years, making it one of the most dangerous places to work or play outside. With the Summer Olympics coming to France this year, how the heat will impact athletes is a major concern, especially when outdoor track events are frequently held in relatively quick succession, not giving athletes a lot of time to recover from the previous event.
None of this is terribly new, of course. Scientists have been warning that deaths and illnesses are going to increase if countries don’t take demonstrable measures to offset the warming. The Paris Accords were passed but the United States and several other countries have failed to live up to their part of the agreement. This is a dangerous situation where we are allowing petty politics to interfere with the potential extinction of our species.
I know that, as a group, humans can be extremely stupid and self-defeating. Are we so stupid, though, as to endanger human survival beyond the next 100 years?
Yeah, we’re that stupid. I’d worry for your grandchildren if I were you.
Yesterday was… interesting. For most of the day, the kids were busy in their rooms, either cleaning, playing games, or napping. They almost enjoy napping as much as I do. Kat picked us all up around 5:00 and took us to the park. That’s when “The Monster Under My Bed,” which is how she prefers to be known, came out for some exercise. I mean, we have a decent-sized yard, but she really needs more space to hop and run around and chase ducks. She drew her fair share of strange looks from passing people, but she behaved well and didn’t attempt to eat any of them. She stayed close to me and didn’t fuss when it was time to leave.
From the park, we went to meet the rest of Kat’s family for Tipper’s birthday dinner. Tipper likes Mexican food but wanted something different than our usual restaurant. Verde was what was chosen. None of us had been there before. It seemed like a reasonable idea. Had I realized it was in the Ironworks building, just down the sidewalk from Ruth’s Chris, I might have suggested a slightly better wardrobe for everyone and I might have snacked more so that The Monster and I wouldn’t be as hungry. Although, after seeing some of the people coming out of Ruth’s Chris, maybe it’s not as big a deal anymore.
The prices were predictably high, $150 for a tomahawk steak, $23 for three tacos. I went with an $18 combination platter and made sure to not leave any crumbs behind. The food was good, much like my experience in Mexico: a hint of spiciness at the beginning, but mostly bland and easy to eat. The burrito Kat’s mom (Bubi) had was freaking huge, but neither she nor Grandpa Larry ate much and ended up taking 98% of theirs home. They tend to be the worst food critics, constantly commenting on everything from the amount of salt to the food’s position on the plate. Everyone else devoured their food, except for 1-year-old Harper, Kat’s neice, who was more interested in playing with the clip on G’s jacket.
The only problem I had was just how incredibly loud the place was. I was seated right across from Bubi and Grandpa Larry and couldn’t hear them well enough to hold a decent conversation. Tipper carefully positioned herself between me and Kat, not really in the mood to communicate much with anyone else. For me to talk to Kat meant relaying the message through Tipper, so our end of the table largely sat their quietly waiting for the food. Ultimately, the noise got to me and I had to excuse myself from the building. Tipper promptly jumped up and joined me outside.
Before we left, they brought us back inside for the presentation of a giant piece of rainbow cake with a massive sprinkler on top. Those who can indulge in that much sugar (primarily those under 20) enjoyed the cake. Tipper finished off the last little bit of it for breakfast this morning. She and I then went back outside to wait for everyone else to finish their chatting. We watched the full moon rising, talked about how easy it was to see inside the apartments that had lights on, and how strange it must be to live in a place like that.
When everyone else came out, Tipper went and fetched “The Monster” from the car to proudly show everyone. She might have given Harper a bit of a scare, but she was already tired and clinging to her mom, so who’s to say? The Monster enjoyed hopping around the parking lot for a while before we went home.
I was hurting in every way conceivable by the time we left the parking lot. I managed to stay awake until we were home, but crashed almost immediately thereafter. I had never expected that noise would effect me quite that way. While I enjoyed getting to see everyone again (it’s been a year and a half), I would have to decline if we were eating at the same place. My body is still too weak to be out that long and under that kind of influence.
Then, the heartburn kicked in around 2:30 this morning. Fun. Thrill. I’m glad we had milk.
Temperatures dropped to 36 degrees by this morning. Both kids complained about having to wear their heavy coats again. The dogs didn’t seem to enjoy it all that much, either.
There are thoughts to make about other topics, but I think I’ll save those for later. I still have a couple more pictures of The Monster to share.
Thoughts this afternoon have turned to Hawai’i and how much I’d rather spend this afternoon there than here. If I’m going to have to choose an apartment in which to spend the rest of my life, I’d rather it be there than here. If I’m going to be someplace where people slowly forget about me, I’d rather it be there than here. I know a lot there has changed since the fires, and it’s certainly a lot more expensive to exist there than it is here, but I could get by. I don’t need carpeting because it makes me unstable. I don’t need a pool because I no longer swim. I don’t need excessively large spaces; these pictures were shot in a 10’x12′ room.
I only need beautiful neighbors, food, and coffee. Hawai’i has all that. And just think what I could do on the islands.
We are the lucky ones. Even with all the challenges we have, the fatigue, the pain, the side effects, we still sleep in beds at night, we have enough food to eat, and we are reasonably safe. For that, we are thankful. The kids mowed the lawn. While it took them three times longer than it would have taken me, at least they were safe. They can argue about whose turn it is to do what but I don’t worry that a bomb is going to fall on them while they fight.
Meanwhile, in Rafa overnight, Israeli missiles hit the southern Gaza town of Rafa, a town where many Palestinians have run at the encouragement of Israeli forces. Nine children were among the 13 people killed. Children. A mother and her three-year-old were among those killed. The mother was pregnant. The baby was saved, but who will raise the child? Will anyone even have a chance to raise it? This is the nonsense of war.
Of the $26 billion approved for Israel by the US House of Representatives yesterday, only $9 million is for humanitarian assistance to Gaza. The rest is to facilitate the killing of people in Gaza. Tell me, please, how the fuck that makes any sense.
Both the Palestinians and Israelis pray to the same deity. Whose prayers is that deity supposed to answer? Whose does he hear first? This is the exact same deity many Americans will worship today, the same deity who allowed that three-year-old and its pregnant mother to die overnight. How do you justify that?
Those of you who are parents think of the times when your children argue and neither of them is correct. How do you resolve the conflict? Do you give in to your “favorite?” Do you try to find a “fair” resolution? Or do you simply ignore them both and let them work it out for themselves? That’s what this deity is effectually being asked to do. This is a religious tiff between siblings and for all we can tell, the parent has walked away with a care-less attitude.
Today, Kat’s family and I will gather to celebrate Tipper’s birthday since we couldn’t all get together last week. There is almost no chance that the restaurant will be bombed by someone from another country simply because of who other people in our country worship. Spoiled meat is more of a concern (always) than the threat of missiles landing in the middle of the table. We don’t have to worry about it.
But we’re willing to fund that terror for someone else, someone who has a family just like ours.
Why do we do this? What makes us think we have the right?
And what self-righteous deity stands silently by and lets it all happen?
Priorities, anyone?
The House of Representatives has been busy today. First, they passed the massive funding package for Israel, Ukraine, and Taiwan. You might hear some people talk about the “bipartisan” effort in passing the bill. What they mean is that the Republican “majority” was so divided that the bill wouldn’t have passed without Democrats supporting it. The final vote was 311 to 112. House Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries said, “Traditional House Republicans led by Speaker Mike Johnson have risen to the occasion. We have a responsibility to push back against authoritarianism.”
That authoritarianism would be ultra-conservatives who wanted to attach US border legislation that would have rendered the bill DOA when it arrives in the Senate next week. Three of those ultraconservatives, Greene of GA, Massie of KY, and Gosar of AZ, are ready to attempt to oust the Speaker for working with Democrats to pass the bill without the addendum.
Those ultra-conservatives may see such a move backfire. Democrats could vote to keep the Speaker in power, OR they could make Jeffries a contender who would only need four Republican votes to become Speaker himself. Either one would be seen as a strong rebuttal and shaming of Greene and other pro-Putin traitors.
In the same session, the House passed a bill by a vote of 360-58 that could lead to a ban on TikTok in the US. The bill is primarily a sanctions bill against Russia and Iran. The sanctions aren’t likely to stop wars that either country is running, but it looks good on the campaign trail. Tucked deep inside the small print, however, is a part that requires TikTok’s Chinese parent, ByteDance, to sell its stake in the video platform to a US-based entity within nine months or face a ban.
Don’t go crying about the loss of the app just yet, though. IF the bill passes the Senate without the ban being yanked out, there’s an inevitable First Amendment battle ripe for arguing for years and could possibly win in a Supreme Court that’s likely to change a couple of members before the issue would get to them. It’s also possible that the Senate could modify the bill to allow any NATO member country to purchase ByteDance’s shares, and that could also be challenged in multiple international courts which could delay any result even longer. This issue is far from over. In the meantime, feel free to go ahead and learn that dance in the confidence that we are all going to laugh at you when you post it.
Now, here’s the question: Which is more important, free speech or national security? The whole reason this issue was squeezed into a totally unrelated bill is the fear that the Chinese-owned company could use the app to spy on Americans. ByteDance says there are precautions in the software against that, that the Chinese government has never requested such data, and that the company has strong rules against data sharing with any government entity. Forcing the removal of the app would have a huge First Amendment effect on the millions of US-based users and US-based advertisers who rely on TikTok influencers to help spread the word about their products.
Without strong evidence of China being up to something, supporters of the measure could find themselves not only barking up the wrong tree, but alienating younger voters who frequently use the app.
Personally, I’m too old to be on TikTok so I’m not directly impacted either way. It seems like a real stretch to try and make it a Homeland Security issue.
If you’re not celebrating today, or at least thinking about celebrating if you’re not physically able, then can you really be my friend? Of course, I can’t partake, either. Not only is it not legal in Indiana [insert stifled guffaw here] it can interfere with my meds. There are some edibles that I can tolerate, but since Kat’s not here for the weekend I’ll have to make do with coffee. 😪 We have to give up some of the best things because of cancer. I’m not liking that part at all. I guess if I wanted to give up something this would be the time to do it. But I’m too old goddammit. Now’s the time to be indulging in all the pleasures we’ve put off earlier in our lives. No one over 60 should have to say no to any form of pleasure. If it kills us, at least we went out doing something fun instead of lying in a hospital strapped to tubes.
I tried to get a lot done yesterday, but it didn’t happen at the rate I wanted. Part of that was because I couldn’t get the pictures to do what I wanted. There are times when even the best technology available isn’t sufficient to read my mind and deliver the image my brain is seeing. After a couple of hours of arguing with Adobe over what is and isn’t a violation of the terms of service, I just gave up. So help me, their censors are apparently offended by people having a chest at all.
Just in case you missed them, though, we posted the following articles yesterday:
I mean, we try to be entertaining even when we’re feeling like whatever that was the cat just threw up on the floor. We want to give you something to do besides playing with that tear in your underwear; you’re only going to make it worse.
We investigated more apartments yesterday but came up empty. Too many listings don’t tell you if all utilities are paid. I’m assuming if they don’t mention it, they’re not. There are also far too many listings for studio apartments that are two or three times what I make in a month! WHAT THE LIVING FUCK! That doesn’t make sense for any apartment, I don’t care where it’s located or what amenities are included. And at that price, someone had better be bringing me breakfast each morning. Ya’ll are kinda stupid if you’re paying that much. Seriously! What a fucking waste of income!
One of the issues that I can’t seem to get past is the fact that once I take the chemo meds, I have a little less than two hours before I’m dead asleep. This does not make me happy. I have to take the meds with breakfast. I can only put off breakfast for so long before my body starts to complain. The hungrier I am when I eat, the shorter period I have after taking the meds before I’m completely knocked out. This drives me nuts because midmorning is one of the best times of day to get things done and where am I? In bed, surrounded by these two dogs, as sound asleep as if it were the middle of the night. Trying to juggle the timing so that I can get things done is unnerving.
Oh, here’s the ridiculously stupid headline of the day: Woman Who Didn’t Get Raptured Demands a Refund on Her Generous Tips. There’s stupid, and then there’s “Oh my god, do you even have a brain.” This certainly falls into the latter category. I can’t imagine ever going back and asking a server to return all or a portion of a tip you’d left. Just how fucking brain-dead does a person have to be to do something like that?
If I had limitless income, which I don’t, I would buy every woman on the planet a copy of Wonder Woman #8, the issue where Wonder Woman is under the influence of a religious (Christian) nut job. It’s only 30 pages, extremely well illustrated, and easy to read. My hope would be that women with religious assholes for husbands would find themselves in this story and find their own path to escaping the mind games men and churches use to keep them bound in marital slavery where they’re not respected or valued as anything more than property. If you know someone who is in this trap, maybe buy them a copy and slip it to them in between the pages of the Bible they’re forced to read. Consider it a mission of mercy.
Okay. I really need to eat now. Ugh. Check back with me after I wake up this afternoon.
My phone keeps waking me from my naps as news updates keep coming in at the end of the week. To be honest, not everything I’m being sent strikes me as news. And some of the news I’m getting has me rolling my eyes at the levels of stupidity being displayed.
For example, take the self-immolation of a man outside the courtroom where the former president is being tried for a hush-money scheme. The initial reaction was that it had to be a response to the trial. Nope, the poor man is critically ill and consumed with conspiracy theories he’d gotten off the Internet because, ya’ know, it’s all a conspiracy. The man is currently in stable but critical condition. Is there any real hope for his mind, though? Probably not.
Israel apparently sent ONE missile to Iran. Just one. And now, on the backside, neither Israel nor the US are admitting that anything was sent in Iran’s direction and Iran isn’t admitting that they were attacked. The rest of the world is waiting to see who flinches next. Crude prices have stabilized for the moment, but no one is thinking that the conflict between the two countries is over. If this seems like a strange way to run a war, you are correct.
Democrats saved the funding bill for the Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan after three Republicans on the committee attempted to sabotage the bill by voting against it. Normally, a bill with the Speaker’s blessing would move forward on a party-line vote, but Reps. Massie (KY), Norman (SC), and Roy (TX) voted against advancing the bill. This signals that the pro-Putin minority in the house, traitors everyone, is likely to find that Democrats don’t give them the victory of unseating a second Speaker, either. More Republicans are voicing their concern that the pro-Putin clan is possibly violating the law, which may not go well in an election year like this one.
Oh, and there’s a new issue of the Wonder Woman comic, #8, where the villain uses a “Rope of Lies,” the opposite of her Lasso of Truth, to trick the superhero’s mind into thinking that she’s a beleaguered housewife under the rule of a cruel husband who keeps throwing malicious Bible verses at her to keep her under control. At the end, her mother helps her escape and she yells to her captor: “Your Christian god means nothing to me!” Of course, there’s a lot of right-wing clap back and one DC artist has refused to work on the issue. That doesn’t surprise anyone as it’s been their response to any challenge for the past 20 years. They don’t have any facts on their side and everyone knows it.
So, after having my nap interrupted so many times, I’m going to go take another one, short as it may be.
I’ve been hearing sirens annoying close since 4:00 AM this morning. There are a lot of problems. I think the best solution is to stay home and stay naked.
Not too many years have passed since being a Russian spy was enough to get a person the firing squad. Apparently, we now give them seats in Congress. The level of betrayal is significant and what is even more amazing is that they’re attempting to mask their actions as some form of patriotism. I’m not sure how that works since, legally, they’re US citizens, but idealistically, among Russia’s strongest supporters. Even actual Russians are not as fervent.
Of course, I’m talking about U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) and U.S. Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY). They were elected as super-conservative Republicans, which was bad enough, but now they’re outright supporting Russia by clamoring to impeach fellow Republican, House Speaker Mike Johnson, for daring to bring a funding bill for Ukraine to the House floor. Never mind the fact that there is nothing in the Constitution that actually gives the Speaker the authority to completely deny the House the right to vote on its own bill. Greene and Massie are glued tight to the pro-Putin agenda of leaving Ukraine to fall under the continual onslaught from Russia’s military.
So far, it seems that only two of the Russian cohorts are willing to make themselves so visible. U.S. Rep. Dan Crenshaw, a three-term Texas Republican rated a hard-core conservative told CNN’s Manu Raju, in a video posted Thursday, “I guess their reasoning is they want Russia to win so badly that they want to oust the Speaker over it. I mean that’s a strange position to take. “I think they want to be in the minority too. I think that’s an obvious reality.”
Other Republicans are more quiet in expressing their concern, though, and that itself is concerning. U.S. Rep. Anthony D’Esposito, one of several Republicans who won their New York districts in 2022 couched his words to support the funding bill but at the same time, tried to not piss off Greene. “Marjorie Taylor Greene, I respect her, she works hard for her district…” he said in an interview. The question we’re all asking, though, is whether it’s the Georgia district in the US, or a Russian district close to the Ukranian front line that she’s supporting.
Other Republicans are saying that the majority of the Republican caucus wants the bill on the floor and some are even calling for the resignation of Greene and Massie if they don’t support the bill coming to the floor. But no one is talking about bringing them up on charges for directly giving aid and support to a known US enemy actively engaged in war against a US ally.
In my opinion, the Department of Justice needs to open an investigation now into the degree to which Reps. Green and Massie are involved with, communicating with, and taking directives from Russian intelligence figures. There is little question that there are foxes in the henhouse and someone needs to get the shotgun out and remove the fuckers now.
We simply can’t play stupid games with Russian spys.
Everything I’d hoped to do, needed to do yesterday was done. The results, however, were not necessarily what we had hoped. After calling Social Security multiple times, I finally got an answering machine instructing me to leave my contact information. Sigh. Will they call back today? I’ll give them a chance. They’re on central time, which drives me a bit nuts, but I need to know what to expect and/or how to plan before relocating myself. I also contacted some apartments that are supposed to be for people who are over 55. What frustrates me there is that their ads on Facebook, which I’m getting in droves, hide the financial information until you give them your contact info. THEN, you find out their prices are well outside your budget. This isn’t going to be easy but we simply must find a solution somewhere.
A thunderstorm hit early this morning. The result was that I went from having two large dogs and five cats scattered around my bed to two large dogs and five cats all trying to snuggle as close to me as they possibly could. What the hell are they going to do for comfort when I’m gone? I think Hamilton would lie in my lap while I’m typing if he wasn’t so freaking big.
Tipper went to the pediatrician yesterday. She saw a new doctor because her usual pede is out for the month. I was a little concerned about how that would go, but it was fine. Tipper reported that the doctor told her to either get more sunshine or she’d have to take more pills. Tipper said she’d rather take the pills. Is anyone surprised by that surprise? No, not at all.
G got his PSAT scores back. I was impressed that his score puts him in the top 2%. He was disappointed that he didn’t make the top 1%. He said he was tired and hungry while taking the test, problems he’ll be sure to eliminate the next time he takes it. Let’s hope the child doesn’t choose the dark side at any point. Something tells me he’d have the Death Star up and operational in a matter of months.
Perhaps he can devise a way to keep stupid people from doing catastrophically stupid things. When we woke yesterday, we discovered that parts of six states had lost their 911 service just hours after Homeland Security warned that our 911 network is at risk of cyber attacks. Naturally, everyone immediately assumed that the report had been a self-fulfilling prophecy, possibly in an effort to increase funding. Nope. Turns out it was just stupid people doing stupid things. Late yesterday, we were told that workers installing a light pole in Missouri cut into a fiber line, causing the outage. You know all those signs you see everywhere about calling 811 before you did? One might think that doing so would be a natural part of the process for a utility contractor, something completed days before they started installing the new pole. Nope. Stupid people do stupid things that have dangerous consequences. If anything what we’ve learned from this experience is that yes, the nation’s 911 system needs to be protected. From ourselves.
Kat sent me a screenshot last night showing me the insane number of steps she had yesterday. She’d obviously had a full day and she’s feeling the results of that exertion this morning. It was only two years ago that I was putting in a similar number of steps on a daily basis. Now, I’m afraid to walk around the block alone. I almost fell over unfastening the gate this morning. Still, I want to try and stretch my stamina somehow. So, I think I’m going to see how many posts and images I can put in front of your eyes today. I have to try and stay awake to hear from Social Security anyway, so I might as well try to achieve some form of productivity even if it doesn’t really matter to anyone at all.
I find it interesting that since I started posting again, the highest amount of traffic still goes to a three-year-old post that is perhaps the most explicit I’ve ever published. I also find it interesting that a high number of those hits come from outside the country, often from Islamic countries where I’m pretty sure such content is illegal. I’m questioning whether I should try and top that one with something new. I’m pretty sure I still have some images I’ve never processed.
Breakfast time. Ya’ll try to stay out of trouble, okay? 🤣
Beware, before you invest your time in today’s update, that I’m emotional, have been awake since 2:00, haven’t had coffee yet, and probably shouldn’t be considered sane at this moment. Also, be aware that not everything yesterday went poorly. I did have a wonderful time sharing coffee with a friend. It was the first time I’d been outside the yard in a month, and I appreciated the company. There were plenty of opportunities for the day to go worse than it did.
The problem didn’t come until we were sitting down at dinner. Kat attempted to explain in reasonable terms that the situation here at the house would soon be untenable for me. There are a host of repairs that are going to start soon. There’s no question that the repairs are necessary; they have been for some time. But there is pressure for her to make those repairs now and that’s going to create an environment that is unhealthy for me.
Making matters more difficult is the fact that we can’t afford to pay contractors to do the work. She’s going to do it all herself with some help from friends. That includes replacing the bathroom plumbing that is literally crumbling in the walls. This means that for some span of time, there will have to be a portable toilet in the yard. There will be no shower until the work is done. Several walls, possibly including those in the Recovery Room, will have to be replaced. There will be dust and debris all over the place. This is definitely not the kind of environment where I can recuperate from all the chemo.
If contractors were handling the job with a full crew, it would probably take two-three months to complete. That’s not terribly long, but would still come with all the health challenges. It would be unreasonable to expect Kat to do the work herself anywhere nearly as quickly. Where this gets sticky, however, if that there are still projects started during the pandemic shutdown four years ago that haven’t been finished. Kat’s busy. It takes all her time just trying to make ends meet. She gets home and doesn’t have the energy to rip down drywall or replace the shower. I don’t doubt her ability to do the work, but can she even get the work done before it starts getting cold again next fall? There are reasons to be doubtful.
I’m not sure who is pushing her to get the work done now. I don’t know that it matters. Whoever it is has convinced her that the work has to be done. The condition the house currently is in could cause legal problems if the wrong people were called. That fear has been deeply instilled and the only way to address it is to fix the problems. Now. The momentary discomfort comes secondary to keeping her and the kids together.
But there are other issues. Zoning has to approve whatever is done. That means there have to be plans submitted and permits pulled. Who’s going to do that? How long is that approval going to take? The ultimate zoning hearing could open us up to criticism from the nosy neighbor who keeps reporting the status of our lawn each summer. Her contrarian voice could cause all manner of unforeseen trouble. Even putting building materials inside the fence could become a point of contention. There are troubles for even thinking about doing the work. Kat doesn’t need any more stress and that’s what this work is going to cause. A lot more stress than anyone needs.
Who wants a roommate? Me moving out resolves the problem of me surviving while the work is going on, not to mention the awkwardness of me taking yet another nap while everyone around me is working their ass off. There really is little choice but for me to be elsewhere. Of course, there are some big problems there are well, starting with the fact that I really can’t afford to go anywhere on my own.
I did a lot of looking at rental properties after dinner last night. At first, I thought that perhaps I could do a long-stay hotel somewhere nearby. HA! There’s nothing like that available for less than $1200 a month at the bottom end. Most come in around $3,500 to $4,800 a month. That’s more than four times the amount I get from Social Security. Definitely not an option.
The absolute cheapest amenities I could find come in between $400-$500 a month, which I might make work. However, their co-living arrangements in a house with roommates. While they offer my own bathroom and bedroom, everything is shared. That’s a problem while I’m on chemo. I don’t share anything because of the risk of toxins lingering on things such as plates and silverware. Not to mention the fact that one doesn’t get to choose their roommates in these situations. They could be not-so-very-nice people. They might even be Republicans. I’m too old to be living in a reboot of “Friends.” This isn’t going to work at all.
Kat would like for me to be in an assisted living facility. The upside would be a private room, cleaning services, prepared meals, planned activities, transportation to the doctor, and a 24/7 nursing staff in case something goes sideways. This sounds like a good idea until you start looking at all the details. We’ve actually been looking here for almost a year and the more I look, the more problems I find.
First is the cost. Oh my fucking god! We’re looking at $5,600 a month in the neighborhood and up for the median level of service. Again, way more than I make from social security. My current insurance won’t pay for it. They’ll pay for 100 in-home visits a year, which is realistically only a step away from not having any help at all. If I were on Medicaid, it would cover the costs at some facilities, but as of last week, even the nasty low-end facilities have a waiting list of 10+ people. I’m not going to get in before construction needs to start.
Then, let’s look at the reality of the social situation. I’d be the young person in the facility by 12-15 years. Several facilities won’t even consider anyone under 65. I’m accustomed to being around significantly younger people. I get my energy and ideas from young people. Younger people help me feel plugged into the world and everything happening. Assisted living facilities, no matter what they say, serve institutionalized food and we both know damn good and well that can barely be passable on many occasions. They rely on old people losing their sense of taste. Staff turnover is high because, despite the cost of a room, the workers don’t make enough money to live on, have to deal with the bad attitudes of people who don’t know where they are, and are often disregarded by management. Every few weeks you’re breaking in someone new. Public reports on some lower-end facilities, the ones most likely to take Medicaid, show high numbers of reports of abuse and a lack of appropriate care.
This is just barely a step above living in a tent outside. I’ll only go if the only other choice is homelessness.
The final option is a small studio or one-bedroom apartment with utilities included. I’ve spent a good bit of the night looking at these options since I wasn’t able to sleep. Prices run from right around $600 a month on up. The biggest difference in prices seems to have to do with the age of the facility and where it is located. Those with lower prices tend to be in more challenging neighborhoods where not only is crime more of an issue but the availability of amenities such as shopping, dining, and entertainment is likely to be further away.
On the plus side, these places offer a decent level of privacy, come with kitchen appliances, and avoid the issue of having to secure utilities and deal with their fluctuating prices. The typical size is between 650-750 square feet. Deposits on several are as low as $300. I could *possibly* have enough money to move in by the first of June or something close to that.
The downside is that my credit score requires a shovel to find it, which automatically makes the process difficult. Depending on the type of security and where the apartment is located, getting anything delivered can be challenging without the risk of it being stolen. Letting guests in can be challenging as well. I’ve seen some apartments where one has to physically let the guest through the locked door.
I’m not worried about going over the income caps that several places have. Even if my Social Security was increased to the allowable limit, I’d still be well under the income cap for a single person. In the year before I met Kat (2012), I stayed in some of these places and while their security measures might make some things a little inconvenient, they were pretty much decent places that were good for those on fixed incomes.
Considering an apartment comes with some unique concerns. One is having someone watch over me regularly. Here, we have to consider whether I can get back on Medicaid. That would provide a higher level of service than my current insurance. However, on my 65th birthday, I’d get dumped from Medicaid and put on Medicare which is a whole new mess of government red tape trying to make sure old people die and get out of the way.
One option worth considering is Amazon’s new emergency service through its Alexa system. The cost is only $6/month and renews automatically. In addition to calling 911, it can call other emergency contacts as well. Is this going to take longer than having someone in-house all the time? Depends on the size of the house. Nursing facilities typically have one nurse per 100 residents. If that nurse is already busy when you call, it can be several minutes before anyone gets to you. 911, on the other hand, does its best to get to you ASAP, preferably in under three minutes.
An apartment also comes with the challenge of not having furnishings. I have a bed. I had a recliner. I have a file cabinet. That’s it. The desk I’m using is Kat’s. The coffee pot and microwave are Kat’s. I have a couple of lamps and a turntable. I do have a bookshelf but it would depend on the apartment’s rules as to whether I could attach it to the wall. I’ve never been especially picky about things like sofas and coffee tables. As I get older, though, sitting on the floor or having to bend over constantly to use the computer becomes more of an issue. Of course, I have plenty of pictures for the walls.
Included among the list of things I need to do today is making a call to the Social Security office. They want to confirm my residence. What do I tell them? How much is it going to mess things up if I let them know I need to move within the next six weeks? The last thing I need is more paperwork on my desk or matters getting any more confusing than they already are. I could use help, but not the over-the-phone kind. I need someone who can be right next to me, making sure I’m filling things out correctly. I have a laptop. Come get me and we can do things over coffee.
By the way, the coffee shop has its spring drink menu out and it looks really good.
The final matter to worry about is the loneliness that is going to happen no matter how this plays out. There’s no taking the dogs anywhere they don’t have room to run. Cats come with pet fees and I don’t have money for that. What I am constantly reminded of is that loneliness is a worse killer than heart disease, cancer, or diabetes. While Kat’s promised that I’ll see her and the kids at least once a week, what about all the other times? If there’s nothing safe within walking distance, how will I pass the time I normally spend interacting with or watching over the kids? Will I just pathetically sit here and try to deal with the depression without blowing my brains out? I don’t have a lot of confidence in my ability to deal with the quiet and loneliness well. I need people in my life and I need them to be people that I like. I have no idea how to solve this problem anymore. It’s not like when I first moved here and could hit people up to take pictures. I have nothing that makes me attractive to anyone new. Nothing.
I’m open to reasonable suggestions. I’m also old and very set in my ways. I need to make a move within the next six weeks or things become difficult for all of us.
Tipper rarely brings home homework from school. There’s seldom anything for her to bring home at all. Yesterday was the exception. She came home, emptied the pockets of her hoodie, and placed the folded pieces of paper on the kitchen counter. Both were already completed on the ride home. That’s not a big surprise for a young woman who often finds school boring.
I picked up one of the papers and looked over it. She’s dyslexic so her handwriting isn’t the neatest and can take a moment to translate. After I’d looked over it a couple of times, I asked her if she would mind if I shared it. She asked why. I told her that it’s because what she said was something that every artist needs to hear, no matter how old they are.
So, with her permission, here’s what she wrote:
Something I am passionate about is art. One way I want to change it is that you don’t need to be a professional to draw or craft because lots of artists give up because they can’t draw right or craft it correctly. I can change it [art] by telling young artists that it doesn’t need to be perfect. Just practice and don’t compare your art to others. It can drop confidence.
-Tipper (age 14)
Go ahead. Screenshot it. Share it. Take the message to heart. And don’t give up.
Tipper rarely brings home homework from school. There’s seldom anything for her to bring home at all. Yesterday was the exception. She came home, emptied the pockets of her hoodie, and placed the folded pieces of paper on the kitchen counter. Both were already completed on the ride home. That’s not a big surprise for a young woman who often finds school boring.
I picked up one of the papers and looked over it. She’s dyslexic so her handwriting isn’t the neatest and can take a moment to translate. After I’d looked over it a couple of times, I asked her if she would mind if I shared it. She asked why. I told her that it’s because what she said was something that every artist needs to hear, no matter how old they are.
So, with her permission, here’s what she wrote:
Something I am passionate about is art. One way I want to change it is that you don’t need to be a professional to draw or craft because lots of artists give up because they can’t draw right or craft it correctly. I can change it [art] by telling young artists that it doesn’t need to be perfect. Just practice and don’t compare your art to others. It can drop confidence.
-Tipper (age 14)
Go ahead. Screenshot it. Share it. Take the message to heart. And don’t give up.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIG GABE!
Today marks the 26th anniversary of my favorite birthing event ever: Gabe peeing on his grandmother! I never get tired of telling that story and he’ll never live it down. Not many kids come out of the womb making that kind of statement! I’m a bit sad that he’s not here. We’d make him a pie because he doesn’t really like cake. Then we’d make a second pie because he’d hoard the first one all to himself. He’s having a bit of a rough time at the moment and to top everything he’s aging off his mom’s insurance. I’m sure he’ll find a solution, though, and keep on being the cool person he is. Listening to Sleep Token is now his favorite thing to do, even while he’s sleeping. It is difficult to imagine that my little guy is so very big. Here’s to hoping he has the most WONDERFUL birthday and a fantastic year!
Meanwhile, back here in the Recovery Room, the kids have both left for school, the animals are taking a nap, and I’m starting to feel a tiny bit hungry. We’re all glad the rain held off as long as it did yesterday, but it was a wild storm of continuous thunder when it did hit. None of us slept through it, including the animals. Sleep patterns for everyone are a bit wonky. I almost hate to plan anything for dinner because I never know if anyone will be awake to eat it.
Tipper is still taking tests today. G is hoping it’s not storming again when he’s on his way home. I’m hoping to get out for a while this morning. There’s laundry in the dryer. I think everything is going to be fine today. Hopefully. Maybe.
What’s worth watching today is an argument in front of the Supreme Court over whether homeless people are covered by the 8th Amendment which prevents people from being punished based on a personal status outside their control, such as being homeless. This is the biggest homeless case to reach SCOTUS in decades and could affect a number of local laws designed to prevent homeless people from camping on public property. I have zero faith that SCOTUS will do the right thing for homeless people. None of the judges have ever been in that situation and if you’ve not experienced the terror that is homelessness, there’s little chance you’ll understand.
I’m also keeping a close eye on Israel and Gaza. Israel says it’s going to retaliate against Iran. President Biden says the US won’t help. Iran says if Israel retaliates it will have a “massive” response. Someone in the UN floated a resolution recognizing Palestine as a state, but the US Ambassador to the UN says she never saw it and the vote failed. Meanwhile, there are now an estimated 19,000 orphans in Gaza. I feel there’s a really big boom about to come from that region.
I also have a statement for artists from Tipper but I’ll share that separately.
Here’s to another day!
Morning Update: 04/27/24
The cats are fussing with each other and keeping Kat from sleeping. This isn’t going to be a good day. I forgot to turn off my alarm, so the dogs demanded to go out the instant it went off. This isn’t going to be a good day. Rain went through early this morning, just enough to make me miserable. This isn’t going to be a good day. However, the twins are over here being cute and Tipper has already popped into the room to say hi. Maybe I’ll make pancakes.
The bright point of yesterday was G going on a “field trip” to Purdue. I put “field trip” in quotations because, yeah, that’s how his school had to classify the trip in order to use school transportation. But let’s be honest, this was a recruiting trip, no two ways about it. They visited the dorms. They ate in the cafeteria (which thrilled G). They visited the School of Business (I’m a little surprised it wasn’t engineering). He gained some new perspectives and has a lot of ideas. I kinda wish I could have gone with them, but this was a trip he needed to make independent of parental influence.
Other than that, we spent a lot of time in bed yesterday and are likely to do the same today. The pain reaches up into my cerebral cortex and is probably at least partially responsible for the low level of patience I’m feeling with things I cannot control. Not that I would change my opinion, mind you. I still support the pro-Palestinian protests because we have to find a two-state solution and without the protests, Israel will steamroll over millions of innocent people. Earlier this morning a report came from Rafa that an infant girl had died from the extreme heat. These protests aren’t antisemitic, but a demand for a humanitarian solution. Israel would like to wipe out the Palestinians completely. We can’t let that happen any more than we would tolerate the opposite.
I’m also more than a little pissed that the Republican National Committee is tying up courts in all fifty states (yes, Ms. Trump, there are only 50, not 80 as you claimed earlier this week). The RNC’s main goal here is to keep as many people from voting as possible. Let me make this clear: REPUBLICANS DO NOT WANT YOU TO VOTE. They know they can’t win a legitimate election. Their claims are baseless and void of evidence, but they will put every election into question. This is not democracy and they need to be punished severely for attempting to overthrow the government in this way.
Anger and pain are not a good mix. One fuels the other and I can’t be sure my reasoning is accurate.
No progress was made in finding a new place to live. So help me, property managers are the bain of my existence at the moment. They’re misusing technology in an attempt to avoid direct contact. Why the fuck do you need to know the name of my cats? Maybe I want to rename them Homer and Aristotle. How would that make any difference as to how they’ll behave in an apartment? Talk to me directly and I’ll tell you what I need. Don’t send me another fucking form to fill out.
Maybe I’ll re-process some more pictures of pretty people. Get used to that as it’s all I have left now.
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