women

PotD
Doing Sex Better
July 24, 2016
charles i. letbetter - doing better sex

There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. —Billy Joel

 

charles i.letbetter - doing sex better

Sex is wonderful, but it can almost always be better

I’ve noticed that the articles where we talk about sex are among the most popular. Everyone likes to talk about sex. I have a feeling, though, that’s more because everyone enjoys fantasizing about sex. Actual experiences vary. A lot.

There are millions of articles across the Internet addressing the topic of how to have better sex. Most of them say the same thing: Relax, communicate with your partner, blah, blah, blah. Those are all things everyone should know by now. If you don’t, you’re just not paying attention. If you’re not paying attention then you’re not going to have good sex.

I recently came across a female oriented article about better ways to reach orgasm. I’ve long been an advocate of men reading articles directed toward women, especially if your partner has already mentioned that they like the article. That’s a hint, guys. Read the fucking article! This particular article goes a little beyond the norm, though. So, let’s see if I can put a co-ed spin on their five topics. Guys, pay attention.

Set the Mood

To some extent, this is one of those areas almost every sex article mentions, and with good reason. Guys will have sex anywhere. Doesn’t matter how uncomfortable it is or how inappropriate the place may be. Aesthetics don’t bother guys at all. They’re getting sex. They’re happy.

Women, on the other hand, are very sensitive to their surroundings. While being spontaneous is okay on occasion, more often than not they want to be comfortable. They want their surroundings to be agreeable with what you’re about to do. This doesn’t mean it has to be in the same place doing the same thing every time. Vary the mood from soft and romantic to hard and passionate. There are dozens of options that will work for her.

Be sensitive, though. She may like it rough, but having gravel digging into her knees may be a bit much if she’s been on her feet all day. Music is nice, but if she’s been surrounded by noise something quieter might help her mood. This is all about her, guys. You know you aren’t as affected. Take care of your partner and get the mood right.

Get in position

This is where watching too much porn can get you into trouble. Rolling around on the sheets with a new position every two or three minutes isn’t going to do it for most women. Instead of being satisfied, you both just end up exhausted. If you’re perspiring, it should be from passion, not because you’ve completed all the steps to a 30 minute cardio workout in five minutes.

Position matters a lot to women, both in terms of pleasure and, if you’re trying, her ability to get pregnant (not that there are “safe” positions, mind you; don’t be stupid). Find the positions that feel best for your partner, three or four at most, and make those the focal point of your sexual adventure. Sure,  you can mix them up and try modest variations, but if the purpose is mutual pleasure then work the positions that excite your partner the most.

Guys, this is especially important if your partner has difficulty achieving orgasm. Your fiddling and wiggling around is a distraction. She needs you to focus on what you’re doing. Pay attention to what works and stay the fuck away from what doesn’t. If she’s crying when you’re done, you blew it and it’s most likely right here that you failed.

Try a New Sensation

Here’s a common predicament: Only one or two positions work for your partner, but then he/she complains that the sex is boring. Been there? More than a few people have. The solution to that problem involves a little bit of experimentation. If you grew up in a strict religious household, as I did, this may mean you need to do some research.

Fortunately, we live in the age of the Internet and if there is one topic on which the Internet is an endless source of information, it’s sexual variety. The biggest danger here is that your virgin eyes are likely to see something you’ll wish you hadn’t seen. You might also need to adjust the safe surfing controls on your web browser.

For many, the most simple sensations can have a dramatic impact. Being blindfolded delivers an element of surprise, and maybe even mystery. Being tied to the bed requires releasing control to your lover. Nipple clamps that are adjustable are a good way to get just the right amount of pain without going too far. Using her toys on her can be especially productive. The options are almost endless.

Use (Good) Lube

One often doesn’t realize the importance of a good lube until they’ve had an especially painful experience without it. Guys, this is the one time it may not actually be your fault. While I’m not sure I trust the various studies out there, somewhere between 40-60 percent of women have problems with vaginal dryness. This is a medical condition that sometimes, in extreme cases, requires a doctor’s attention.

What’s important is that you work the use of lube into your sex so that it doesn’t interrupt the flow. Have it handy, along with a towel or wipe, know how much to use, and how to apply it in an erotic and effective manner.

Even more important is that you use the right lube. This is where it can get tricky because not everything that’s advertised actually does the job. You should always use a water based lube. This is more sanitary, works well with condoms, and comes closer to working with a woman’s natural body chemistry. Be careful, though, of those claiming to have spermicides or increase erection times. The spermicides don’t always work and the erection aids often burn and can cause a rash.  Lelo has a good list of moisturizers.

Forget how You Think You SHOULD be Masturbating

Yes, masturbation is an important part of the sexual experience for a couple just as it is when one is alone. The problem here stems from the fact that almost none of us get any instruction in how to masturbate safely and correctly. Let’s face it, as difficult as it was to get the birds-and-bees talk from your parents, hearing them talk about masturbating would be excruciating.

Mutual masturbation can be the key to bringing your partner to orgasm, though. There are a number of reasons why the normal (and abnormal) sex positions don’t allow someone to reach orgasm. Stress, lingering fever from a recent illness, too much food or alcohol, too high, or being too distracted are some of the more common situations that can keep one from finishing well.

Masturbation allows one to relax, removes the pressure of performance anxiety, and focus directly on stimulating the areas that respond the best without wearing anyone out. Again, be sure to use a good personal moisturizer. This might also be a good time for some dirty talk if that helps. Don’t be too forceful, don’t grip too tightly, don’t be afraid to use toys to aid in stimulation, and don’t lose your focus.

Never Stop Learning

No matter how many  times you’ve had sex nor the combination of methods you’ve tried, there is always something new to learn. Be open to exploration both on your own and with your partner(s). We are fortunate to live in an age where healthy sexual relationships are encouraged, even if it’s still not exactly a topic of conversation for the dinner table.  Follow the path of what feels right for you.

Better sex is possible. There’s no reason to not start making it so today.

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Fashion  /  PotD
Brides Of A Different Tribe
July 22, 2016

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. —Groucho Marx

 

charles i. letbetter - brides of a different tribe

An increasing number of brides are opting for a style of wedding that is anything but traditional

I was amused earlier this week when Bloomberg magazine ran an article about alternative styles of wedding dresses as though the world had suddenly shifted off its fashionable axis. How dare brides not wear long, flowing, white dresses made of silk and satin and miles and miles of fabric? What of the time-honored etiquette? What of the billion-dollar industry built around weddings? Is everything going to ruin?

Of course not. We both know better. No matter what trends might be forthcoming, the foreseeable future is still going to be dominated by traditional wedding wear. There’s very little cause for worry in the short term. Brides dream of their weddings long before there’s a groom or another bride in the picture. Weddings are the stuff of fantasies and the star-lit hopes of runaway romanticism. As long as little girls dream of being a princess, there will be over-the-top traditional weddings.

Times are changing, though, and one would be crazy to not consider how modern trends are impacting the bridal industry, not just in terms of bridal fashion, but all the supporting industries necessary to make a bride’s dream come true. Change, in this case, equals opportunity if one is paying attention.

Budget-Conscious Brides

There have always been brides who do their best to squeeze every ounce of value from what they spend on their weddings. While we don’t advocate overspending on anything, there seems to be a contest among some brides to see just how little they can spend while still getting all the services they want.

To be quite honest about the matter, discount brides are a pain in the ass for everyone else. When one asks a service provider to work for less than their stated rates, or ties to trim expenses by ordering the minimum ala carte, they are devaluing the service that person provides. As a photographer, I find it extremely annoying and presumptuous when someone asks me for a discount off my smallest wedding package. The same is true for florists, caterers, and cake bakers. They all deserve to be paid fairly and not asked to discount their work.

Many brides have solved this problem by doing some things, such as making decorations, invitations, and other items themselves. Some even sew their own dress, which I think is a remarkable and romantic thing to do. There are plenty of ways to save money without cheating anyone in the process.

Alternative Brides

Kats at that age where a lot of her friends are getting married. Many are getting married out of town, so we won’t be able to attend. One we did get to go to this summer, though, was gloriously alternative. In fact, there was very little that was traditional, short of the fact there was an aisle the bride walked and they did have an officiant, which I think is required by law in most states. The bride wore a green dress. They served breakfast at the reception. The “cake” was made of Long’s donuts. Even though a thundershower soaked the area right as the wedding was about to start, the event was still wonderful, romantic, and happy.

Brides with an alternative mindset are growing in number. There are a number of reasons for this, from a change in same-gender marriage laws to a decline in religious affiliation. Many young women do not feel obligated to tradition in any way. Therefore, they are more open to exploring alternative ceremonies and creating a romantic event that suits the couples’ particular interests.

As Kat and I have discussed the eventual legal necessity of marriage, our perspective is definitely out of the norm. No church. No traditional minister. I wanted to go nude, but she wants to invite her parents, so, uhm, probably some form of clothing will be involved. What we don’t want to do is anything that someone else has already done. We’re unique rule breakers and think any wedding we might eventually have has to follow suit.

Older Brides

Another factor in non-traditional weddings is that a number of brides are older than previous generations. Part of this is due to an increase in career options. There are also more women with multiple marriages than was previously socially acceptable. More than anything, though, a high number of young women today don’t place as much importance on weddings. As a result, they’re waiting much, much longer before making that decision.

Relationship expectations have changed. Few young women today grew up in a home where Dad worked and Mom stayed home. Instead, most were either raised by single parents or in homes where both parents had to work to make ends meet. As a result, young women don’t come out of high school or college expecting prince charming to sweep them off their feet.

Waiting until you’ve traveled a bit and explored some of life’s adventures before getting married is not a bad idea. After all, many of those things become unavailable once one is tied down to the responsibilities of being married. As a result, older brides tend to have weddings that are more low-key, smaller, and more intimate affairs attended only by closest friends and family. Wardrobe is often a secondary thought with a new dress bought off the shelf at the last minute.

Happily Ever After

Ultimately, what matters most about a wedding is the union between two souls who are hopelessly and deeply in love. What they wear, where they are married, the expense involved are all factors, but, in the end, none of that actually impacts the quality of the marriage.

Every bride deserves to have the wedding the way she wants. Some will always choose to be surrounded by white and fluff and all the traditional accouterments. Others will always choose to be different. There is plenty of room for both. We wish everyone the best.

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Photography  /  PotD  /  studio nudes
One Protest, Many Voices
July 18, 2016

Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness. And they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy… or they become legend. —Jim Harrison

 

charles i. letbetter - one protest, many voices

One photograph is all it takes to ignite the voices of many people in protest

We’re not going to mention the two political conventions taking place over the next two weeks very often. At least, not unless they do something really wild and crazy like start shooting at each other (which, I suppose, could very well happen).  Political conventions are, in general, nothing more than giant pep rallies. Very expensive pep rallies. Neither one is little more than an opportunity for the party elite to get together and embarrass themselves. The voices speaking are nothing more than echoes of bovine feces we’ve already heard.

Both conventions have their protestors, too. Police are a bit concerned as Ohio Gov. John Kasich says he doesn’t have the power to suspend the state’s open carry law. This means anyone can legally carry any type firearm right up to the convention’s doors and there’s not a lot police can do about it. We’ve already seen tempers flare among protesters at campaign events. I appreciate why law enforcement might be feeling a bit nervous.

Not all forms of protest, however, are violent. There are plenty of ways through which people can make their voices heard without risking personal injury to themselves or anyone else. One such protest took place early Sunday morning in an open field not too far from the convention center. Just over 100 women met at the secret location, took their clothes off, held up mirrors, and took a picture. There was no question the act was one of protest, but exactly what the women were saying depends on who one asks.

Meet Spencer Tunick

If you follow the world of photographic art any at all, you’ve heard or read the name Spencer Tunick. For several years now, Tunick has organized some of the largest nude gatherings around the world as part of his photography projects. One recent project involved over 3,000 people. Another had everyone covered in body paint. While he certainly has his detractors, the one thing Tunick does well is organizing these exceptionally large events with precision and accuracy. He is mindful of local laws and is careful to not let matters get totally out of hand.

Tunick also allows the voices of thousands of people to be heard through a single photograph. While others may march and yell and scream, Tunick’s silent photographs carry the voices of their participants beyond a single moment. Whether the event is designed to protest poverty, homelessness, or some other critical situation, Tunick’s work keeps the reason for the protest alive as long as the pictures last. Marches fade into the dust as their echoes die off, but not photographs.

This project, which is part of Tunick’s “Everything She Says Means Everything” art installation occurring later this year, is quite a bit smaller than most. He was likely wise in doing so. A protest of only 100 women drew a lot less attention from Cleveland law enforcement than a couple of thousand would have. He also made sure the event was on private property, which he had permission to use, took place first thing in the morning so the number of spectators was few, and lasted only a few minutes. If someone is going to organize a nude protest, Spencer Tunick is the person to do it.

Many Voices

Tunick had a reason for choosing Cleveland as the site of this protest. He told the assembled women before asking them to disrobe:

The Republican party has given an excuse to hate. We have daughters and we want them to grow up in a society where they have equal rights for women.

The women had their own reasons for being there. These quotes were published in the Esquire article linked above:

I’m here because I’m a trans woman and we’re not supposed to like our bodies and I don’t like that. It’s going to be great! I’m very antsy; it’s like Christmas morning. -Harmony Moon, 25

Because of [Donald Trump’s] negative views on women. I think this is a great way to contrast that. -Monica Giorgio, 19

This 65-and-a-half-year-old Jewish grandma wants to take the best picture I’ve ever taken. -Marsha Besunera Klausner, 65

Donald Trump has said so many outrageous, hateful, inflammatory things. He underestimated his female, Republican vote. I feel like he shot himself in the foot a little bit. I don’t think he knows there’s a black, single, 35-year-old mom, like me, who is listening to what he’s saying. I don’t think he knows I’m in his political party—and that’s unfortunate. -Cathy Scott, 35

For me, it’s less about Trump and more about creating positive energy around the RNC and to create light where there maybe isn’t as much. -Sabrina Paskewitz, 23

Others took their voices, and pictures, to Twitter to announce their participation in the protest.

Stating A Message

I would be rather surprised if yesterday’s protest had any effect on the Republican nominee. If anything, I can imagine him using the event to make more derisive and divisive comments about women. The presumptive nominee doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.  Therefore, protests that don’t actually confront him and directly upset his agenda don’t appear to have any effect on the candidate.

However, that does not mean voices were raised in vain. The pictures from yesterday have already made their way around the world. Every time one of those pictures is shared or published, it takes with it not only the voice of Spencer Tunick but also the voices of every woman who participated. Just because one person chooses to not listen does not mean those voices were not heard. Others do see. Others do hear. When the message is as important as this one, the voices grow until they become a mighty shout that cannot be ignored.

I’m some ways I’m rather jealous of Spencer Tunick. I’ve done some larger multi-person nude shoots, but I’ve never topped 25 people. His ability to organize and complete such large projects amazes me.

Even more important, though, is the fact that these photographs are the voices of thousands of people. Voices that will not fade. Voices that demand to be seen as well as heard. I can’t think of a better reason to get naked.

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Music  /  PotD
The Distraction Of New Music
July 15, 2016
charles i. letbetter - the distraction of music

Clever gimmicks of mass distraction yield a cheap soulcraft of addicted and self-medicated narcissists. —Cornel West

 

charles i. letbetter - the distraction of new music

In a world so full of horror, we need some distraction to keep from going insane

Here we are at the end of another week, finding ourselves staring at the monitor in disbelief. As I’m writing, the death toll from a truck driver plowing into a Bastille Day crowd in Nice, France, stands at 85. We are shocked. We are saddened. We are fearful. We are furious. How can this keep happening? Is there no place safe? Are all our efforts to keep ourselves safe for naught? Is this the distraction or is this life?

Part of our frustration comes from that fact that most people know that love and compassion are the solution. In the days between incidents, we see those examples of selflessness and caring between people of disparate groups. A black child hugs a white police officer. A Muslim community gives aid to members of a Christian community in need. The pictures are quick to appear and pushed heavily by media. We want to think that there is still hope. We prefer the distraction of good things over bad.

The truth is that when such inconceivable horrors plague us on such a regular basis, we need the distraction to keep ourselves from going insane with worry and fear. With apologies to Dr. West’s quote above, knowing that we are being distracted does not deter us nor rescue us from the reality. Rather, the distraction of entertainment, specifically music, occupies the fear centers of our brain so that we can more distinctly focus on the severity of the issues.

Three well-known female vocal artists dropped new singles last night. They are a necessary distraction. Listen.

Katy Perry: Rise

You do have your dancing shoes on, right? The electronic-driven sound of this new song is made for dancing in a dark club with swirling lights. The words, “I’ll survive,” pop out early in the first verse and then you’re not sure of the rest of the lyrics for most of the remainder of the song. You don’t care. All you want to do is dance hard, until your body is soaked with sweat and you’ve forgotten all the hate and danger in the world. I won’t bother passing judgment on whether this is Ms. Perry’s best song ever. This is a distraction. Forget the world and dance.


Katy Perry – Rise (New Song) by 12hzx

Britney Spears: Make Me

Pop diva Britney Spears is always good for a distraction or two, though it’s not always the music that’s distracting. This is a sexy, sultry, summer love song that brings the heat in a good way. In fact, for those so inclined, this might be worth adding to your love-making playlist. The slow tempo never varies, even when rapper G-Eazy jumps in (because, apparently, there’s a requirement in pop music now to feature a rap segment).   Steady, sensual, Ms. Spears does an acceptable job of keeping your mind off terrorists and insane politicians for a few minutes.

India Arie: Breathe

This beautifully calm song from one of music’s most beautiful voices feels more like inspiration than it does a distraction. The song begins with soft acoustic guitar. The lyrics start: Sometimes you just can’t believe the things your eyes see so much, injustice in this life. It’s happening right on the TV screen.” The song hits close to home for every person of color and anyone sensitive to the realities of being non-white in the United States. The song reminds us that sometimes, many times, the first thing we have to do is stop and breathe. Throughout the song, Ms. Arie is surrounded by a beautiful group of people who join her on the chorus. The elderly lady sitting just left of India is especially wonderful to watch.

Whenever the next tragedy strikes, and I’ve no doubt there will be another far too soon, this is the song you want to play. Play it over and over until you get the message. We all need to breathe.

A Time For Everything

I know emotions are running high today. There is a desire on the part of many to express their feelings of anger and frustration. There is a time for protest, and perhaps this is that time. I firmly believe that there is also a need to step back, let go of the issues for a moment, and reassess our place in the world. Take a moment to be distracted by something beautiful, something fun, something happy. It is the only way any of us survive.

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Advertising  /  Fashion  /  PotD
You Better Shop Around
July 12, 2016
charles i. letbetter - you better shop around

Buy, buy, says the sign in the shop window; Why, why, says the junk in the yard. —Paul McCartney

 

charles i. letbetter - you better shop around

Shopping has changed and using a single source is rarely a good idea

Today, July 12, is the big Amazon Prime sale. Think of it as second Christmas. Sales are huge. People who never shop online make purchases during this sale. Traffic numbers are immense. The best deals sell out in a flash. Every other retailer on the Internet cringes when the online juggernaut has this sale. Amazon is so huge, so overwhelming, that no one can afford to compete. Even Wal-Mart doesn’t try to match prices. They do offer free shipping with no minimum purchase, but that’s nowhere near the savings some Amazon deals offer.

This is the way shopping works now. Deep sales, free shipping, and everyone has to find a way to compete with the big guys. There’s always a sale somewhere. No one ever pays list price. Even Amazon stopped showing list prices. Instead, they just show the sale price because that’s what they know people want to see when they shop online. The sale price.

Luxury goods have been in a free-fall all year. Discounters, outlet shops, mid-market retailers, and re-sellers are where all the business is going. Online fashion magazine Business of Fashion says stores need to look and think more like Facebook. The op-ed by John Bricker says that stores need to be more of a social gathering place, not just a place to shop. Coffee bars, art galleries, and social events are all part of the shopping experience as Bricker imagines it.

I’m not sure he goes far enough, though.  People still shop around. Let’s look at alternatives.

Tighter Integration

Bricker’s article mentions that women in the 25-35 age group pre-shop, arriving at a store already prepared for what they want. Why didn’t they go ahead and make the purchase online? They want to feel what they’re getting. That’s not surprising, but retailers are still not playing that strategy to their full advantage. The online experience needs to merge with the brick-and-mortar experience so tightly that shoppers consider it a single event.

For example, if a woman finds a set of sheets online that appear to be what she wants, she should be able to mark and save that product without putting it in a shopping cart. She already knows she’s not making the purchase online, so why would she put the item in a cart? Yet, if she doesn’t, she loses the location of the item and may have difficulty finding it when she wants to go back. Then, when she gets to the store, she has difficulty finding the sheets she wants midst all the stacks of other sheets. If she doesn’t find them quickly, she leaves frustrated.

Stores would do better to lock down that sale by doing three things:

  1. Provide a way to save items of interest online
  2. Encourage the shopper to visit the nearest store to see that item
  3.  Use the store’s app to guide  the shopper to interested items when they arrive at the store.

Just those three things would increase actual sales by at least 10%.

Help Customers Compare Prices

This is taking a tactic once used in large New York department stores and giving it a digital comeback. Retailers know people shop around online looking for the best deals. Let them do the same in store as well. Wi-Fi connected apps at displays could easily list the price of an item and then show what the same item sells for both online and at other brick-and-mortar stores in the immediate area.

What this strategy does is keep a customer in the store.  You don’t want to run the risk of them walking out the door to compare prices and never coming back. That already happens far too often for most stores. By allowing customers to comparison shop right there in the store, the retailer could choose to match a competitors price, provide coupons to apply to the sale, and inherently increase the stickiness of keeping people in the store longer.

Of course, this means marketing people have to do a better job watching competitors’ pricing, and that can be a very difficult job. However, with the ability to search instantly across a wide number of sites, building an app that would track such competition on the fly shouldn’t be too terribly difficult.  For all I know, that software may already exist. If it does, though, it needs to be used more efficiently.

Make The Store A Destination

We read a lot about Millennials looking for experiences. Retailers can tap into that by making shopping more of a destination; a place one wants to go even if they’re not actively in the market for anything the store offers. Sorry, but coffee and art are yesterday’s marketing tactics. Retailers today need to find more event-driven and exciting reasons for people to come through their doors and shop.

I still remember when a specific sporting goods store opened in Atlanta with a 40-foot climbing wall in the store. My boys loved going to that store just to climb the wall. Sure enough, we purchased something every time we went. When that store was bought-out by a competitor, though, they took out the climbing wall. Care to guess how many times I’ve been in any of that retailer’s stores since? Zero. I’ve no immediate need for their products, so I walk on by.

Whether online or brick-and-mortar, retailers have to do more than just offer sales to get people to look. If I were CMO of a major chain right now I would be looking for some way to make stores attractive to Pokèmon Go players. What the store sells is irrelevant. Getting more people through door inevitably means more people are going to shop. Playing to social trends rather than marketing trends may be the stronger strategy for the future.

Increase Visibility Of High Need Items

Briker also mentions that people separate their shopping into two groups: wants and needs. They buy the needs first, often without much comparison shopping, then shop around for the things in their want list. The traditional tactic has been to put high-need items toward the back of the store so that people have to walk past everything else, increasing the possibility of an impulse by. For many years, that strategy has worked.

What grocery store chains such as Kroger have found, though, is that placing high need items such as milk, eggs, and bread near the front of the store, close to the checkout, increases brand loyalty among consumers. When a busy mom needs to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home from work or between shuttling kids from soccer practice to piano lessons, she remembers the store that saves her from walking all the way to the back. She’s more likely to return to the same store when she needs to buy a full basket of groceries.

Fashion retailers, especially department stores, could learn a lot from this tactic. Consider what shoppers most likely need and make it accessible without having to traipse all over the store. A hair straightener is not likely to be a must-have-right-now purchase, but a lipstick is. Sports socks are not sexy, but when the drier eats half your last pair you need a replacement before you go running in the morning. Build brand loyalty among a generation not inclined to be loyal.

Shop Around

More retailers need to consider throwing out the playbook and completely re-examine what it means for people to shop. Even those in the over-65 age group don’t shop with the same habits as they did ten years ago. Everything about shopping is new. The winners are going to be those who don’t look like retailers. Embrace innovation and realize that one has to meld into society to benefit from it.

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Music  /  PotD  /  video
Music You Can’t Share With Kids
July 2, 2016
charles i. letbetter - music you can't share with the kids

I feel happy to terrify kids. —R. L. Stine

 

charles i. letbetter- don't let the kids watch

The law says you have to protect your kids from porn, but it doesn’t say anything about music videos

For most kids, their first taste of music comes from their parents. They hear what we play on the radio or our phones. We casually fire up our playlists while we do work around the house and don’t give a second thought to what our children are hearing.

Kids love music. Any music. They don’t care what  the words mean. Last year, Little Man’s kindergarten class learned the Jackson Five’s ABC for their graduation program. You think that’s going to be cute until you hear the words coming out of your six-year-old kid’s mouth:

Shake it, shake it, baby, come on now!
Shake it, shake it, baby, ooh ooh!
Shake it shake it, baby, huh!
One, two, three, baby, ooh ooh!
ABC, baby, nah nah!
Do re mi, baby, huh!
That’s how easy love can be.

And then their little booty starts shaking and you damn near fall out of your seat from laughing so hard. You know the kids don’t have a clue that they’re singing about sex. Right now, it’s cute and funny. But then you hear them using the same language with each other. When little boys start demanding that little girls stand up and “shake it” for them, it’s time for some lessons in how to talk to people.

So, we took a look at some of the newest music videos released this week. All are bound to be chart toppers. Take a look, though, and think: is this something you can share with your kids?

Rihanna

Let’s start with the mildest video of the set. Rihanna’s Sledgehammer, which just dropped a couple of days ago, is part of the soundtrack for the next Star Trek movie, which I assume is due later this fall. Kids can probably watch this one and be okay. All the sensuality is muted and preserved in the subtleties of the video. In fact, this  is probably the most dressed Rihanna has been for a video in quite a while. The lyrics are what will get you, though. Take a look.

Where to Watch Music Videos | Vevo Originals

Vevo is the world’s leading music video network. Watch music videos on your favorite apps, streaming services, and devices, including YouTube, Apple TV, Roku, Samsung TV Plus, Fire TV, and more.

Fifth Harmony, ft. Fetty Wap

Five attractive young women, in swimwear, on a beach. Both the song and the video are sexy from top to bottom. However, while the sensuality is aggressive and the video frequently gets in the way of the music, it’s still at a level that most kids are likely to ignore the sexy and get more into the rhythm of the music and the bright colors. That is, until Fetty Wap chimes in. Say some of those words around the wrong person and you’ll be picking your little ass up off the floor. Some are already touting this as the song of the summer, though. Best get familiar with it now.

Where to Watch Music Videos | Vevo Originals

Vevo is the world’s leading music video network. Watch music videos on your favorite apps, streaming services, and devices, including YouTube, Apple TV, Roku, Samsung TV Plus, Fire TV, and more.

Nick Jonas

Your kids are going to listen to this song and, hopefully, not have a clue what Nick means by the phrase, “under you.” There are also subtleties to the video that seem to infer a level of domestic violence. The imagery in this one could be rough for kids whose parents fight a lot. For adults, it’s just another breakup song, though, if his only regret is that he didn’t get to have sex with the girl then it’s probably a good thing they broke up. For kids, though, there is a lot here that might require some explanation when they start repeating it back to you.

Where to Watch Music Videos | Vevo Originals

Vevo is the world’s leading music video network. Watch music videos on your favorite apps, streaming services, and devices, including YouTube, Apple TV, Roku, Samsung TV Plus, Fire TV, and more.

Niykee Heaton ft. Migos

I really hesitated about including this one. There is a form of implied violence throughout this video that reflects the same kind of violence we see too often among inner-city teens. Toss in Niykee’s good looks dressed in little more than a swimsuit, and one can understand why forecasts for this song are pretty strong. There is a particular audience with which this song is going to resonate well. However, the video is not for  kids. We can excuse much of the song as it talks around the topics rather than directly at them. When the first image one sees, though, is an automatic weapon, and gunshots are among the final sounds, one has to question whether this video is unnecessarily promoting a culture of violence that our country doesn’t need.  Proceed with caution on this one.

Where to Watch Music Videos | Vevo Originals

Vevo is the world’s leading music video network. Watch music videos on your favorite apps, streaming services, and devices, including YouTube, Apple TV, Roku, Samsung TV Plus, Fire TV, and more.

Fergie

We saved the sexiest for last. Fergie’s latest solo release will hit number one on the charts. Fortunately, there’s a radio edit and if your kids hear the song that’s the version that’s likely to tickle their ears. However, Fergie’s never been a shy one and she drops enough f-bombs to recapture every remaining Daesh stronghold in Syria. Why is it that kids pick up the word “fuck” so easily and quickly? It doesn’t even matter if they never hear a parent say the word. Fuck is part of the first-grade vocabulary whether anyone likes it or not. This song is not going to help that matter at all.

I must say that I love a lot of the pin-up style costuming used in the video. The bright colors and over-the-top styling are quite artistic. Much of the look here reminds me of Christina Aguilera’s Candy Man video. This is much hotter than Xtina’s take on the era. If one is concerned about a child’s body image, this may not be a video they need to  see. Adults will love it, but kids are going to ask a lot of questions. Be prepared

Where to Watch Music Videos | Vevo Originals

Vevo is the world’s leading music video network. Watch music videos on your favorite apps, streaming services, and devices, including YouTube, Apple TV, Roku, Samsung TV Plus, Fire TV, and more.

Your Call

I’m certainly not one to make valid parenting suggestions. From an adult perspective, all these videos are about as sexy as they can get without turning to porn. They’re a pleasure to watch and to hear. I know we have trouble keeping adult words and phrases out of the mouths of our kids, and I’m guessing ours aren’t much different than yours. How you deal with the music and the videos are your business. You know what’s best for your family. Exercise caution as you see fit.

And meanwhile, we’ll be over here dancing.

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Advertising  /  Art  /  Fashion  /  Photography
Goodbye, June 2016
June 30, 2016
charles i. letbetter - goodbye June 2016

All June I bound the rose in sheaves, Now, rose by rose, I strip the leaves. —Robert Browning

 

charles i. letbetter - goodbye june 2016

With the year half over, leaving June is like setting a marker, daring the rest of the year to improve

June 30. The year is half over. While the month has had its happy moments, such as the wedding of two dear friends, June has also seen a lot of death, a lot of turmoil, and an incredible amount of global stupidity. We’ve suffered the largest mass shooting ever in the US. We’ve laughed about secret sex parties. We’ve mourned the death of a real champion. We even tossed Kat in the water. For a mere 30 days, a lot happened. Our world has changed dramatically from where we were at the end of May.

To some extent, today puts a half-way marker on the year. We look back and see all we’ve lost, all that happened, and we dare the rest of the year to be better. We’ve had enough suffering. We don’t want more bad news. We don’t need more nonsense. We need new champions rising to the cause. We need faith restored in our governments. We need to feel that the entire planet is not hurtling out of control.

Of course, none of us can predict the future, and I’m not sure we want that ability. What we might see there could be too frightening to imagine. We’re also too early to start writing obituaries for the year. We can’t yet give up hope when so many good and wonderful things could yet happen.

Pictures You Might Have Missed

Midst all the activity of this month, chances are you might have missed a picture or two along the way. In fact, we’re pretty sure you did because we know which articles received the least amount of attention. So, before we totally close out this month of June and proceed forward with our year, we want to give you a chance to catch up on the pictures. There were some new ones this month, which is surprising given how busy we’ve been. So take a moment, enjoy the view and we’ll look forward to July.

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Advertising  /  Fashion  /  pop culture  /  PotD
Information Overload
June 30, 2016

Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? —T. S. Eliot

 

charles i. letbetter - information overload

The glut of information comes at such a heavy pace so as to make keeping up impossible

I don’t know about anyone else, but the volume of information I receive on a daily basis is impossible to consume. While the majority of articles, press releases, and various studies shoved my direction do have some value, there is simply not enough time to digest and comprehend the bulk. I end up setting some pieces aside to read later and then get to the end of the month, like today, and realize I have a backlog that needs to be addressed.

Even then, I know there’s some information I have to let go. That article that says one out of three internet users are content creators? It’s been sitting there for two weeks. The information seems interesting, but there is not enough time to get into the details. A detailed essay on the dumbing down of America has been sitting there since the 7th. Incredible amounts of information that is highly applicable to this election season. Too detailed for my schedule, though. I have to let it pass.

Still, there are some stories that, for various reasons, I can’t let pass without at least a tiny bit of comment. This is information I am quite sure you need, that will impact every aspect of your life. Okay, not really, but some of it is damned entertaining. The headlines are links. Click them for more information.

Alexander Wang Is Now Chairman/CEO Of His Own Brand

For those outside the fashion industry, this may sound like a rather obvious move. It’s not. Fashion designers are notoriously bad at the business side of things. That’s why conglomerates such as Kering and LVMH own so many top-name labels. People who are wonderfully creative, such as clothing designers, too often attempt to apply that same creativity to the business side of the house and it rarely works.

Alex takes over the head of the boardroom from his sister-in-law and his mom, both of whom have been running things rather well. Certainly, Wang would not have been able to spend the time at Balenciaga had they not been in place. They’ve done an excellent job of steering his young brand through its first ten years. Influencers such as Marc Jacobs haven’t hurt, either.

The fashion market has changed dramatically in the past five years, though, and strategies that made sense when the label was founded no longer work. The move signals a new direction, though it remains to be seen what that new direction might be. Alexander Wang is one of the top US fashion brands at the moment. Let’s hope he doesn’t blow it. We’ll file this information under things to watch.

Kering Ordered To Pay Hedi Slimane $13 Million

Speaking of Kering, they were sued earlier this month by former Yves Saint Laurent designer Hedi Slimane. Honestly, when I first saw a related headline, I rolled my eyes. I think Slimane was expecting another label to pick him up quickly upon his departure from YSL. His expectations were a bit too eager. Few talked with him at all and none of the conversations reached a serious stage of negotiation.

That means the rather extravagant designer was starting to feel the financial impact of not having a regular income. So, what does he do? Find a loophole in his former contract and sue his former employer for failing to include a non-compete clause in his separation agreement. Understand, a non-compete means that a designer cannot just hop directly from one label to the next for a given period of time. A non-compete is what is allegedly keeping Raf Simons from taking the head job at Calvin Klein. How does this make sense?

Non-competes, in the fashion world, are generally compensated. Labels essentially pay a designer to not work (in an official capacity) for usually two or three years. The $13 million Slimane was awarded should keep him going long enough to create a new strategy.

Dove Release New #MyBeautyMyWay Campaign

Dove has been using messages of affirmation for women in its ads for some time now. While there has yet to be any firm information showing that the tactic is adding anything to the brand’s bottom line, the campaigns are at least socially popular. This particular campaign comes along at a time when body image and self-image, especially among women, is a significant issue.  Women are tired of the cat calls and the impolite statements regarding their appearance. Dove’s campaign encourages women to define their beauty their own way. Take a look at the 60-second ad:

My expectation is that an overwhelming number of women can identify with at least one if not multiple statements made. Additional ads address the details of each of the six women shown in this introductory piece. The timing ties into the presidential campaign as well. With a woman as the presumptive Democratic nominee and the misogynistic tone of the presumptive Republican nominee, women are feeling more empowered to be vocal and reclaiming their personhood.

Still, how long can Dove continue these campaigns without them adding significant revenue? Altruism doesn’t pay the bills.

Starbucks Is The Favorite Food Brand Among Millennials

Is anyone really surprised by this one? Of course not. Anytime we stop by one of the coffee stores we have to wait in line behind two or three 30-somethings getting their mocha-soy-caramel-latte-frappucino on. All I want is a venti blonde roast. Black. Yet, I still have to wait while each of the millennials in front of me orders a drink with far too many syllables to be healthy, then mulls over the ever-growing list of food items that look and sound healthy.  Can I just get my coffee, please?

Click the link above, though, and what you’ll see is a list of the top 17 most popular food brands among this top group of shoppers who are the driving demographic for almost every company on the planet. Look through the list and you’ll notice a trend that has been part of Starbuck’s strategy from the beginning: Fresh, healthy and innovative. The growing food menu items address the fresh and healthy issue. The drinks have always been innovative. Starbucks has made the strategy work for them and other brands are finally beginning to see the value as well.

Even we old codgers benefit. With everyone adjusting to lure millennials, we’re all eating better whether we like it or not.

Crystal Pepsi Is Making A Return

Depending on how one feels about the product, we might file this interesting piece of information under “too good to be true,” or “what the hell are they thinking?” Crystal Pepsi, which is supposed to taste exactly like the original product, hasn’t been on store shelves since 1994. There is a very good reason for that: no one wanted a cola that looked like 7Up. The caramel color is part of the identity of a cola. The drink was treated more as a novelty and then slipped slowly away.

Today, though, artificial dyes are under attack from the healthy/pure food woo groups. You know, those same people who are convinced that Monsanto is out to destroy the entire food supply (they’re not). While the actual peer-reviewed science regarding food dyes only shows a danger in a handful of very specific colors consumed in high quantities, the concept of going without dyes has a lot of marketing clout. The move worked for Hershey, after all. They saw a significant sales bump after announcing they had eliminated artificial coloring from their chocolate.

The difference between Hershey’s and Pepsi, though, is that the chocolate still looks pretty much the same. The color may not be identical, but at least it’s still brown. Take the artificial coloring out of Pepsi and you have something that does not look anything like a cola. The move didn’t work well the first time. We’ll see if this effort is different.

French Cable Now Has Porn Ads

Americans like copying a lot of trends that are popular across Great Britain and France. With the UK having pretty much sabotaged itself with the whole Brexit thing, France is getting more of the attention at the moment. Maybe a bit too much attention. The French cable provider Cable+ has come up with a set of ads that, while hilarious to view, would be almost impossible to duplicate for the American market. Let’s see if I can describe this delicately …

It’s porn.

Apparently, French Cable providers can get away with a lot racier content than we can here. In the American cable market, the most shocking thing one is likely to see is the blood bath known as Game of Thrones. We can be explicit in our killing, but not our sex. That might explain some problems with our culture.

What these French ads do, though, is hilariously parody old-school porn by removing one person from the scene. So, you have real porn stars looking as though they’re getting it on, but their partner is missing. Why is the partner missing? Because all the good porn has moved to Canal.

It’s a bit much and definitely NSFW. I’m not posting the ads here. Click the link, though. They’re hilarious.

Take A Break

After that last bit of information there, I think we need to take a break. I need another cup of coffee. I hope at least one piece of information here improves your life somehow.

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Advertising  /  Fashion
Banning Photos Of Thin Models
June 27, 2016
charles i. letbetter - banning photos of skinny models

It is stupid on my part to think of banning the media. —Shah Rukh Khan

 

charles i. letbetter - banning photos of skinny models

Banning a photograph because a model appears too skinny is making a dangerous judgement call

Banning photography for any reason is never a good idea. When we ban things such as art, photography, books, movies, and other means of expression, we are closing off an avenue of expression, a means of learning, and perhaps even a path to enlightenment and understanding for other people. Banning the arts in any form, even those distantly related such as advertising, is wrong.

So, in what seems to be a trend, the Brits have fucked it up again. This time, it’s specifically the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, who has banned ads on public transit that might challenge a woman’s body image. The mayor’s action responds to an ad that ran earlier this year asking whether one’s body was “bikini ready.” Many people found the ad offensive, even foolishly started a petition on change.org, and as a result made the ad more famous and seen in more places than it ever would have on its own.

The UK is already a bit of an anomaly in the advertising world in that its Advertising Standards Board has the ability to order the removal of any ad it doesn’t like for pretty much any reason. The board has been challenged frequently for banning ads in Britain that wouldn’t have been a problem elsewhere.

Body Image As A Matter Of Perspective

Body shaming is unquestionably a problem and body image, especially among teenage girls, is a critical issue that affects other decisions that women make. Body image determines what one chooses to eat, what one chooses to wear, and even who one chooses to date. As a result, things we used to say often, such as, “Is your body bikini ready?” are no longer publicly acceptable. We find those statements offensive because we presume they promote an unsafe body image.

But what about the image accompanying that ad? While I’m not inclined to re-publish the ad again here (it’s had more press than it deserves), I can tell you that the hourglass figure of the model would not be considered too skinny by a lot of people. If the same image had run with different copy, would Mr. Khan still be so upset? Would people still be offended?

Consider the picture I chose to go with this article. Do you consider the model too thin? Does her body shape offend you? If so, why? I can promise you that the model involved is quite healthy. She certainly does not consider her body too thin and her physician would likely agree. In banning a picture of her body, are they not body shaming and affecting her body image as well?

Body Image As A Matter  Of  Health

Both advertising and the fashion industry have for several years been challenged with the body image they present. Paris and Milan passed laws protecting models from being forced to maintain unhealthy weights. Such laws are good and necessary. No one should be asked to do things that put them in danger simply for the sake of a photograph. I have no problems with that.

However, laws banning photographs, such as this one in London, fail to actually show concern for the health of the model. There’s no requirement for a doctor’s note, such as there is in the Paris law. There are no means in which the model’s health is even considered. Rather, a judgement call is being made by an autonomous board (the members of which have yet to be selected) without any specific guidelines for what is and isn’t acceptable.

If we’re going to be concerned about body image, shouldn’t the health, both physical and emotional, of the model be considered first? If one is banning an ad because the image is considered unhealthy, is that not also telling the model that she is unhealthy as well?

I can tell you that I’ve worked with hundreds of models who are quite frustrated at people telling them they look too thin or unhealthy. How is this type of action any different than fat shaming?

Body Image As A Form Of Judgement

Vaness Friedman, a fashion editor for the New York Times, wrote an opinion piece on the matter of photographs of skinny models yesterday. In the article, she states:

Though often conflated with the movement to protect models, which resulted in legislation in France in 2015 requiring models to produce a doctor’s note attesting to their health, and digital alteration of photographs to be disclosed, banning is a separate issue. It doesn’t involve working conditions (which can and should be legislated), but subjective, and ultimately regressive, assumptions about what constitutes a positive female image.

Banning pictures of skinny women unfairly judges them. What right does someone else have to say that a skinny body is wrong any more than an overweight body is wrong based merely upon a photograph? Can you look at a set of  photographs and know, based on the model’s size and shape, which one just found out she has breast cancer, or Crone’s disease, or diabetes, or a thyroid condition? Of course you can’t! One might guess, but a large portion of the time that guess would be wrong.  The judgement is unfair and unreasonable.

Banning isn’t the answer

There’s no question that body image is an important issue. Everyone should be encouraged to embrace the fullness of who and what they are without any judgement. There is no right body type for every person. We all get to be unique.

In embracing that point of view, however, we must include women who are thinner. Their body image counts just as much as that of the woman who can’t keep her weight below 350 pounds.

We also have to start trusting women to make their own decisions about their body and stop trying to do it for them. While some women may look at a Gucci ad and find the models too thin, someone else may look at the same ad and be encouraged to eat better, exercise, or consult their doctor about losing weight. We must allow room for a difference of opinion regarding any photograph.

Censorship, in any form, is wrong. Banning pictures of skinny women is a huge mistake. If Britons get a chance to re-vote on the Brexit, perhaps Mr. Khan should also consider shelving his new law. Neither do the good for which they are advertised.

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Current Issues  /  Personal  /  Social Commentary
Domestic Violence Intervention
June 15, 2016

This is not love. It is a crime, … You can’t look the other way just because you have not experienced domestic violence with your own flesh. — Salma Hayek

 

charles i. letbetter - domestic violence intervention

When Kat witnessed domestic violence taking place, she stepped in to stop it. Not every response was so helpful.

One thing I’ve learned having US Marines in my life is that they are not passive. When they see a situation that requires immediate attention, they act; it’s in their nature, a part of their training that never leaves.

That response kicked in yesterday while Kat was on her way home. Coming up to the intersection at 30th and Kessler, on the West side of Indianapolis, she found a small car sitting a couple of spaces back from the traffic light, not moving. As she watched, she saw the male passenger grab the female driver by the hair, pull her across to his side of the car, and bang her head against the window. That was all she needed to see.

Kat pulled around in front of the car so it could not easily leave and rescued the woman who was being beaten, removing her from the car to a position of safety outside. As they were calling 911 for help, the male passenger moved to the driver’s seat and stole the car, swerving around Kat and speeding away, leaving the woman stranded.

IMPD was there almost immediately, two female officers well equipped to handle the situation. They took statements from both Kat and the victim. As part of standard procedure, the officers warned Kat that what she did was dangerous, that she should have called 911 rather than stopping. We’ve both heard that line before. The risks are real, but the immediate risk to the woman’s life was greater.

But then …

As the officers were sending Kat on her way, one rather wryly made the statement, “Don’t worry, it’s just drugs and prostitution.”

Kat’s anger seethed. She knew better than to confront the officer right there and came on home. Nothing she could say at that particular moment would help the situation. She knew, though, that the woman wasn’t likely to get the help she needed.

Women across the country were outraged last week when a California judge let a former Stanford swimmer get off on a rape charge with only a six-month sentence, of which he’ll only likely serve three months. The story illustrates just how deeply ingrained the rape and abuse cultures have become in our society. Despite numerous ad campaigns attempting to draw attention to the issue, and even mandatory classes on many college campuses addressing date rape and matters of consent, the justice system itself, and even some in law enforcement still holds to the demeaning and outdated concept that someone’s actions, gender, style of dress, state of sobriety, or occupation naturally leaves them open to and even deserving of domestic violence, abuse, and even workplace violence.

Too often, and for too many years, our society has tolerated the lame excuse, “She was asking for it.” I cannot imagine the mind of any intelligent and critically reasoning person ever believing such a horrendous statement. Who asks to be abused? What person asks to have their hair pulled, their body dragged across a car and their head ferociously beaten against a window? In what insane universe could those actions of violence ever be justified?

Look at the numbers

Domestic violence is one of the most serious issues facing our country, but one which very few want to discuss, and even fewer of us are willing to get involved. Take a look at these statistics:

  • Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
  • Every day in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
  • Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
  • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
  • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

The rate of incidents is appalling and in a country that is serious about stopping the ever-increasing rate of crimes such as mass shootings we should be looking at those with a history of witnessing or being involved in domestic violence as the primary source. If we want a safer America, we first have to start with safer homes, safer relationships, and a justice system that punishes the perpetrator, not the victim.

A little respect, please

As disappointing as the officer’s statement was yesterday, such a lack of respect is not unusual. Kat listened in on the 911 conversation and found the operator dismissive and condescending, as though she didn’t feel the need to take the crime seriously. Others have reported similar 911 experiences where operators either delayed in sending help, or downplayed the severity of the situation.

Let’s get this straight right now: NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED! Prostitutes are not asking for it. Drug addicts are not asking for it. Drunks are not asking for it. Women who dress in short skirts, high heels, or low-cut dresses are not asking for it. Strippers are not asking for it. Female bartenders are not asking for it. Housewives who burn dinner are not asking for it. Children who are loud and noisy are not asking for it. Homeless people are not asking for it. Mentally or emotionally incapacitated people are not asking for it. Elderly people are not asking for it. Those who disagree with you are not asking for it. Those who challenge a presidential candidate are not asking for it.

NO ONE IS ASKING FOR IT!

The woman Kat helped yesterday was almost certainly involved with some form of controlled substance. That does not exclude her, however, from the protection and respect that every human being deserves! Even if the woman is a prostitute, she still does not deserve to be beaten. She deserves respect, she deserves the same help you would want for your own wife or daughter.

We must end this culture where we think that anyone deserves to be treated with violence of any kind. What people deserve is compassion, sympathy, and love.

One More Thing

Before I end, let me say that we know domestic violence takes many forms and that getting away from that violence is often not easy. If you live in Indiana and need help, there is someone you can call:

800.332.7385

The members of the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence (icdavinc.org) will do their best to help you change your situation and find safety. As always, if you feel your life is in immediate danger, call 911.

What Kat did yesterday involves a high level of risk and is not the type of intervention I recommend for most people. Kat is a highly trained and experienced United States Marine. The action she took may have saved a life. We don’t question the quality of that life or judge the woman in any way. She deserves to live free of violence just as much as you or I. We hope she gets all the help she needs.

And thank you, Kat, for being brave enough to intervene. I love you.

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Art  /  Photography  /  PotD
Tossing Kat In The Water
June 15, 2016

Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it. —Lao Tzu

 

charles i. letbetter - tossing Kat in the water

Cats don’t normally like water and Kat isn’t especially fond of it either, but modeling’s supposed to be fun, isn’t it?

I think I mentioned something yesterday about going to McCormick’s Creek State Park and playing in the water. We showed you pictures of the waterfalls, the kids frolicking, and one very cool old man. I know most of you missed those pictures, so you can look at those later by clicking here.

What we showed yesterday wasn’t the only set of pictures we took, though. I was looking through the files last week and noticed that Kat hadn’t been in front of the camera at all this year. Here we are in June and not once have we managed to get her to sit even for a light test. What photographer doesn’t take pictures of his own fiancè? We needed to fix this problem quickly.

So, as we were packing clothes for the kids, I tossed a swimsuit at Kat and suggested, “Why don’t you toss this under your clothes and we can get some pictures of you in the water while we’re there?”

She laughed.

Okay, so maybe the swimsuit was just a little inappropriate and revealing to wear in a place likely populated by children other than our own. Our kids don’t even notice when Kat is looking hot; they’re rather used to that. Other people’s kids, though, might have wondered where the rest of her swimsuit was.

Kat knows how much it means for me to have pictures of her, though. She found an acceptable substitute and off we went.

Most anyone  who has shot outdoors with me knows that I typically carry two non-camera related items in my camera bag: duct tape and petroleum jelly. Uses for the duct tape are innumerable; one never knows when they might need to fix something, fasten something, or patch a hole. The petroleum jelly is a bit more specific, though. I use it not only because it causes water to bead on the skin, but because it acts as an insulator against the cold. For some stupid reason, I left the petroleum jelly sitting on my desk.

Have you ever tried standing in cold water? Have you ever tried looking any way other than horrified as hundreds of gallons of cold water came crashing down onto your head? Have you ever tried to sit on a rock while your entire body is trembling from the cold and attempt to look sexy?

Those are the things I asked Kat to do. The task wouldn’t have been nearly as daunting if I’d brought the petroleum jelly. Kat would have barely noticed the temperature of the water at all. I left the petroleum jelly sitting on my desk, though. There was no protection from the cold.  She did the whole shoot anyway. She gave me a mean look more than a few times but she did them and the resulting pictures are perhaps the strongest set she’s done since we first met.

One of the challenges of shooting in the water like this is that in order to get that silky look to the waterfall, I need a slow shutter speed. A slow shutter speed with a model means that she has to take a pose and not move.   Go ahead and try to not move while standing in cold water, especially after your body is completely wet. Oh, and add a nice breeze on top of that. A bit of wind feels good when you’re warm and dry, not as much when you’re wet and cold. Kat had to call on the discipline instilled by her Marine Corp training to keep getting in that water and holding poses for several seconds at a time, not flinching, until I got the picture I needed.

Have I mentioned that I have an awesome fiancé who loves me very much?

Did you know that waterproof mascara doesn’t necessarily hold when being assaulted by hundreds of gallons of water?

The challenges to this shoot were considerable. Not only was the water cold, but Kat still had to keep an eye on the kids and keep an eye out for anyone who might cause problems and help me avoid falling on the slick rocks. I’ve not even tried standing in water to shoot for the past three years. We had to exercise much more caution than was previously normal.

What ultimately matters, though, are the pictures and I think we captured some great ones, despite the cold water. I like having Kat in front of the camera. Next time, though, I’m bringing the petroleum jelly.

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Personal  /  PotD
She Calls Me Daddy
June 12, 2016
charles i. letbetter - She Calls Me Daddy

The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, ‘Daddy, I need to ask you something,’ he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. —Garrison Keillor

 

charles i. letbetter - she calls me daddy

The universe gave me a daughter and none of us, Daddy, daughter, nor the universe are going to be the same

Father’s Day can sometimes be a bit rough. I have three boys but haven’t lived with any of them for the past 11 years. I hold a lot of well-deserved guilt for not being there at times they really needed me, when the decisions were hard, when the circumstances were impossible to understand. There have been times they challenged whether I loved them. My record is far from perfect but I’m still proud of the young men they’ve become.

But then, I have two more. Biologically, I had absolutely nothing to do with their appearance on the planet. I thought I was done having kids 18 years ago. The universe intervened, however. Now, Kat regularly looks over at me, usually with one or the other of them in my lap, and reminds me, “They’re yours.”

Being a parent of young ones at an age where my peers are having grandchildren is challenging. I can’t run races or get down in the floor and wrestle like I did with my boys. They’re getting the well-used version of a Daddy and I sometimes wonder if that’s not cheating them a bit. Kat is quick to remind me, though, they chose me. The decision to call me Daddy was totally theirs.

Actually, the whole “Daddy” thing was a point of great concern. Tippy was two and Little Man had just turned four when I met Kat. They saw their bio-dad for what may be the last time shortly after Tippy turned three, and that wasn’t an especially pleasant visit. Tipster has no memory of the trip at all. The portion Little Man remembers is not positive. We were very concerned, though, that the decision of what to call me be theirs and no one else’s.

This took some time. Calling me by my name was easy. I was just another friend except that I never went away. Ever. There were times that made discipline difficult. Little Man would come back with “You’re not my Dad,” and I’d have to agree with him. More than once he asked when they were going to take me back home. But that hole was there in their lives and slowly, quietly, despite all the yelling and slammed doors, they’ve let me fill that space.

Getting along with Little Man has been one thing, but learning to deal with a little girl is a whole new experience. I’ve not had one of these before, and she is definitely a very different personality from her brother. Her imagination is off the charts. She sings herself to sleep at night. The more tired she is, the more she giggles. She loves to be tickled, loves having books read to her, and more than anything, she loves sitting in my lap.

She is the spitting image of her Mommy. Put pictures of her, Kat, and her grandmother next to each other and you can only tell the difference by the age of the photos. She’s like her mother in other ways, too, that don’t necessarily work when one is six. She’s stubborn. She wants to do things her own way. She’s confident and doesn’t need you to tell her what to do. She can be defiant in the face of authority and she’s not taking crap off of anyone, especially her brother. Those will all eventually become admirable traits as she becomes a young woman but right now, and especially at bedtime, we often wish she were a little more compliant.

It took a while for Tippy to get used to me. When I first moved in, she was still sleeping in her crib at night and needed help getting out of the morning. Several months passed before she would let anyone but Mommy be that morning person. She didn’t want to hold my hand. She clung tightly to Mommy, which might have been endearing except for those moments when Mommy’s hands were already full. She regarded me with caution for the first year and more. That was okay. We knew that both kids would have to adjust at their own pace.

When we noticed her changing, though, was when both she and Kat started school last fall. At school, they would talk about families and other kids had a Daddy. Then, when she came home from school, I was the only one here. Mommy usually wouldn’t get home until well after she was in bed for the night. I helped with her homework, made sure she had clean clothes, let her take long baths with her toys, and tucked her in for the night. Slowly, she would occasionally call me Daddy, but usually, it was quiet. You could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

After the kids changed schools, we noticed a difference. She was more confident in how she referred to me, not only around her peers, but anywhere, with anyone. If someone would ask her who I was, she would grin mischievously and say, “Oh, that’s just my Daddy.”

The biggest confirmation came just this past week. Kindergarten graduation. The event was held mid-morning, when a lot of parents couldn’t be there, including Tippy’s Mommy. The Tipster was incredibly excited, though. She woke up bouncing with anticipation that morning. As I put her on the school bus, I reminded her I would be there. I wasn’t sure how she would respond. During the event, she would flash me an occasional smile, but was being very careful to follow the instructions her teacher had given. When they called her name, I was the only one who yelled for her, and she looked more perturbed than pleased.

After the event, I went to her room fully expecting to have to remind her that Mommy was at school. All the other kids seemed to have their entire extended families there, some with balloons and stuffed animals. How could I possibly compete with that? Then, as I walk into the classroom, Tippy looks up, her face brightens, and she screams, “DADDY!!!” at the top of her lungs and she runs into my arms. The hugs were big. She kissed all over my face. She showed me her diploma then had to show me her entire classroom.

If there was any question remaining, that moment cleared up the doubt. I have a daughter. We call her Tippy. She calls me Daddy.

Happy Fathers Day.

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PotD  /  Social Commentary
The Sexy Party Is Real
June 9, 2016
charles i. letbetter - the sexy party is real

Warning: Explicit Content

 

In life, you have people that love to party. That’s me. People that love God. That’s me. People that love sex. That’s me. People that love people. That’s me. And people that make mistakes. That’s me also. —R. Kelly

 

charles i. letbetter - the sexy party is real

The sexy party you dreamed about is real, but chances are you’re not invited

Update: The response to our application took a bit more than the 48 hours advertised, but late last evening the email finally came through:

VETTING APPROVED

 
Congratulations, (Username). Your account has been successfully vetted!

Your subscription has been updated, and you can log in by going to http://litterbox.killingkittens.com/(deleted for privacy)

We are quite surprised! We’re definitely not members of high society and if they were checking our bank balance they were almost certainly disappointed. This makes us wonder exactly what their criteria for membership are? If we can get approved I wouldn’t expect the bar to be set too terribly high. Although, at the same time, it may simply be that they don’t have many members from this part of the country and are looking to grow. That would rather make sense to some degree, I suppose.

What I do know is that there were several hits on this website (particularly this story) from London and New York shortly after it was published. I’m guessing that they looked at our photography page as well, though both of our personal pages are locked down and private. Did they talk to our friends? Did they confirm employment? Did they do any kind of background check? If so, no one has told us.

So, we’ll continue and see what happens. Should we find out more, we will most certainly let you know!

Here’s the original story:

Yes, that’s really explicit.

No, it’s not who you think it is.

No, it’s not them, either (whoever “them” may be). Just stop trying to guess. Identity is irrelevant in this situation. The picture is an illustration, an attempt to get your attention, as if the term “sexy party” didn’t have it already. The picture also defines the level of party we’re talking about. This gets deep so hold on and try to enjoy the ride.

Back in 1990, before many of you were even old enough to think of such things, Stanley Kubrick captured the world’s attention when he set the movie Eyes Wide Shut around an underground community of sensual desire involving luscious and lavish masked sex parties.  That theme has been used and re-used hundreds if not thousands of times since then for masked, sexy parties, especially at night clubs in large cities where women wearing lingerie out for the night isn’t really all that big a deal.

If you tell me that you’ve not thought at least once about what it would be like to attend such a party, I’ll call you a liar. We all have. And I’ve even heard tell of a few instances where someone tried to re-create that masked party theme, but they were never as lavish (a warehouse as the location? C’mon …) and never quite as sexy (is there anyone here not using Viagra?) as one might imagine. Sexy parties the magnitude of those seen in Kubrick’s movie are so rare, so difficult to produce, that we’ve often wondered if they actually exist at all.

Apparently, they do. We just live in the wrong place to be invited to the party.

In the deluge of articles being thrown at me, I came across this one a couple of weeks ago with the intriguing headline: The Roving Sexy Party Coming To The Hamptons This Summer. Okay, a headline like that is going to get my attention every time.  Although, there is a bit of immediate disappointment in that it mentions the Hamptons, that lovely summer homestead of the super-rich to which we mere mortals are not allowed access. Everything is gated. Everything is by invitation only. The Hamptons are not for we mortals. I’m not sure even Bernie Sanders can get in here.

What’s happening, though, is a coming to America of a British sex party concept that apparently has been working quite well across the pond. We’ve always suspected that those uptight Brits were a bit more cheeky than they let on and it would seem now that we have the proof.

The sponsoring organization has a rather morbid name, though, Killing Kittens certainly doesn’t sound sexy, and if it’s a party it doesn’t sound like the kind that is legal in the United States. But then, perhaps that’s part of the cover. Who would think to go looking for an underground event with a name that invokes feline homicide? The actual events, though, do not involve the harming of any animals, except for maybe your boyfriend.

When I went searching for more information about these parties (because, you know, journalistic curiosity and all that) I found the explanation on their Facebook page (yeah, that’s really underground) more helpful than anything on their website. It reads, in part:

Killing Kittens was launched in 2005 to both address and grow the demand from young, attractive, charismatic couples and single girls for decadent, hedonistic, female focused parties.

Killing Kittens parties create an environment for people, especially girls, to explore their sexuality in a daring yet safe and controlled environment without the seediness associated with the traditional ‘scene’. The parties are held at intriguing and glamorous international locations; from a New York penthouse to a yacht in St. Tropez. They have attracted the rich and famous and generated immense media excitement as being at the centre of the world’s newest and coolest underground party scene. Marie Claire declared that Killing Kittens has now become synonymous with the world’s ‘sexual elite’.

Again, I’m not so convinced about this whole “underground” thing if Out, The Cut, and Marie Claire all know about it. Those are not exactly low-circulation rags, there, ya’ know? If everyone knows about the parties, are they still “underground?”

What’s interesting, and likely most attractive about the Killing Kittens parties is that they are female-focused. In fact, the whole company is owned by one Emma Sayle, a British socialite who just happened to go to the same school as the Duchess of Cambridge. This gives the parties a very different edge from the pictures Kubrick planted in our minds. With the women in control, the party isn’t as likely to be as much of a sausage-fest, but it is also likely to be a bit more lively as women, especially those in the Hamptons, are still enamored with the S&M flurry started with Fifty Shades of Grey and now continued, so I’m told, with the HBO series Billionaire (I understand the 12th episode is where things get spicy). The parties are apparently popular among “pussy whisperers,” that is, women who have same gender flings just for the summer.

Yeah, let’s make that phrase go viral. Go ahead.

My curiosity not yet satiated (is it ever?), I visited the Killing Kittens website to see just how filthy rich one had to be to even join their little club. Turns out, it’s not all that expensive, at least not up front. Their basic membership is $15 (US) a month. They do have a free option, but that doesn’t include party invitations and without the party invitations what’s the point? They also offer a special designation for those over 45, if one wishes to make that disclosure. That doesn’t seem all that exclusive, does it?

So, I went ahead and signed us up for a couples membership just to see what would happen. The first step was rather straight-forward personal information like one would find on any dating site: age, height, body type, religious preference, drinking, smoking, etc. They encourage uploading pictures for the vetting process and promise that those pictures will be kept private. Nothing unusual, nothing overtly erotic, and nothing expressly limiting that would have me bailing out and running in fear of my life. Yet.

I’m betting that the vetting process will somehow eliminate us from consideration. Hell, this article is likely to eliminate us from consideration; it’s not like I’m hiding what I write. Still, the more insight we can get into this allegedly underground playground for the super-rich, the more we can stoke our own dreams of perhaps one day being elite enough to attend one of these oh-so-exclusive parties.

Not that we would know what to do once we got there. Nope, not us. Not a clue. Totally innocent here. Totally. This is just journalistic curiosity. I promise.

Or maybe we just have our own party. I have ice cream. Vanilla.

 

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Fashion  /  PotD
An Ethical Wardrobe
June 8, 2016

A man is truly ethical only when he obeys the compulsion to help all life which he is able to assist, and shrinks from injuring anything that lives. —Albert Schweitzer

 

charles i. letbetter - an ethical wardrobe

We need clothes. We want clothes. But must each purchase we make hurt someone else? Can one have an ethical wardrobe?

I had a wardrobe crisis occur a couple of weeks ago. I looked down at my shoes, the one pair of black, slip-resistant shoes I’ve worn every day for over a year and a half, and saw a hole. I knew what was coming next. Because of the unbalanced nature of my walk, the right shoe always wears a hole in the same place: the inside seam where the upper meets the sole. Every time. The hole starts small enough but expands quickly and is not repairable. I was going to have to buy new shoes.

I hate having to buy clothes. I especially dislike having to buy new clothes as long as there is a reasonable and ethical alternative. Shoes, however, are the one thing I’ve learned to buy new, and to spend a little money. Sure, I could go to a discount shoe place and get a pair for$20, but I’m lucky if those last six months. I want a pair of shoes that lasts at least a year, longer if I don’t wear them every day. Shoes are a justifiable expense. Sort of. I still look for sales and ended up actually purchasing two pair so that neither wears out quite so quickly. I shouldn’t have to buy shoes again for at least three-four years.

That logic doesn’t apply to everything in my wardrobe, though. There is very little in my wardrobe that is less than five years old.  I have a couple of sweaters that I’ve retired after 15 years of wearing and washing. About half the black shirts I wear every day are over ten years old. When I do occasionally need to replace one, thrift stores make more sense than do department or fast fashion stores. By shopping for previously worn clothes, I’m keeping something out of a landfill, which is often as much as 30% discarded clothing. It’s an ethical thing for me, not really a standard to which I hold anyone else.

If you’ve seen me, you know my personal style is not exactly on-trend. I soon could be, perhaps. Marc Jacobs has officially declared 1980s retro back in style. The problem with that, on a personal level, is that I’m about 436 sizes larger now than I was in the 80s. Even if I still had all those stylish (cough-cough) threads from back then, there’s no way that I would still be able to fit my ample dad body into clothes that did a good job of making my butt look almost attractive (something that was much more a concern then than it is now). Does that mean I can ethically justify buying new clothes that look like the clothes I wore 30 years ago? Probably not.

Having an ethical wardrobe is more important to me than having a stylish ensemble for every day. There are multiple reasons for holding that view, but fundamental to that reasoning is that I don’t want to get dressed every morning knowing that what I’m wearing was assembled by a child in Bangladesh who is thrilled to be making $73 a month and is using all that to help support his/her family. Yes, I really do think about those things in the dark at 4:00 AM. I’m also not a fan of adding to Amancio Ortega’s $57 billion empire (he own’s Zara, among other fashion-related things). I’m especially not a fan of ripping off designers, which is what fast fashion retailers do on a daily basis.

The ethical implications of what I have in my closet are significant. I’m not ignorant of the ethical challenges that occur in the fashion world.  I know that what I buy individually, while it may seem small and insignificant on one level, becomes part of a greater whole. When I make a purchase, no matter where or what it is, I am aligning myself with a larger group of people making like-minded decisions and it is in the rise and fall of those groups from which trends are set. If I want to encourage a trend away from cheaply-sourced materials, then I have to refrain from buying cheaply sourced materials. Likewise, buying clothes manufactured in New York’s garment district, for example, encourages domestic production in an environment where workers are more likely to be treated fairly.

Still, if the 80s are indeed coming back … how do I not get in on some of that action? I felt good about my fashion choices back then. I had multiple pairs of Levi’s 501 jeans back then, and they were still being made in Northern California at the time. Levi’s has moved production south of the border though and I’m not sure one can even find 501 jeans in the store anymore. Shopping directly from Marc Jacob’s isn’t a financial option, either. How do I enjoy this momentary global lapse of stylish sanity while still holding to the ethical standards I’ve set for my wardrobe?

A couple of years ago, a Canadian artist, Sarah Lazarovic, wrote a book, A Bunch Of Pretty Things I Did Not Buy. This very interesting young woman went a full year without buying any new clothes. None. I know a lot of people who would begin to hyperventilate at the thought of going more than a week without making a new purchase of some kind. The book is quite interesting and, while everything she has to say may not align with someone else’s specific situation, she did come up with this interesting pyramid she calls the “buyerarchy of needs” to help one make a bit more sense of their fashion purchases. While she is not preaching a strict ethical behavior, the implications and applications are there. Take a look:

charles i. letbetter - an ethical wardrobe

The Buyerarchy of Needs. Copyright Sarah Lazarovic

The concept is pretty straight forward. Buying something new should be the last option. Using what you have, perhaps even repurposing what you have, should be where we all start. There’s no good reason why we should be completely turning over our wardrobes every few months. If you’re looking at a once-in-a-lifetime sort of thing, consider borrowing from someone who’s already been there. Kat and her friends swap clothes back and forth, both adult and children’s. Thrift, and I would add Vintage, shopping are my personal preference (though, I would warn, not everything in a vintage shop is necessarily original from that period). Making things yourself is one of those things that varies from person to person. I’m useless in that department.

Does that mean that I still don’t watch labels for where garments are made? No, not at all. Even when I’m thrift or vintage shopping I still look at labels and avoid those I know are unethically sourced. But, following the precepts of this pyramid brings us a lot closer to having an ethical wardrobe than we might achieve on our own.

Again, the standards I set for myself are not necessarily applicable to anyone else. You have to decide for yourself whether an ethical approach to shopping is even a concern. But for me, whether I’m buying a new pair of shoes or a t-shirt to replace the one that just disintegrated in the wash, how I shop matters. A lot.

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Advertising  /  Fashion  /  Original Style  /  PotD
Beauty Becomes A Battlefield
June 6, 2016

Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears. —Edgar Allan Poe

 

charles i. letbetter - beauty becomes a battlefield.

The beauty industry has played for years to women wanting to look beautiful, but today women don’t want their help.

Beauty is big business. In the United States alone, cosmetics companies rake in over $60 billion a year. Proctor & Gamble and L’Oréal alone have a combined global revenue in excess of $115 billion. That’s not even starting to figure in on what is spent at salons and spas. People want to look better because, more than anything, it helps them to feel better about themselves. Perhaps it is a little vain, but as long as the individual is doing it for themselves, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spruce up one’s image a bit.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of people running around who think we all should look better than we do.

No, scratch that, they think women should look better than they do. Just try to find an employee handbook that tells men they need to come to work with makeup. I’d offer to wait but I already know you’re not going to find anything. Beauty is sexist because society is sexist and the biases and attitudes that were encoded in the 1950s have never really gone away, no matter how advanced we like to think we have become. Women are still expected to wear makeup, to make themselves “look better” than they naturally do, and an entire industry depends on women buying into that concept that they just don’t look good enough.

Men have never been taught that they need to do anything to their appearance beyond,  depending upon social trends, maybe shave occasionally. You don’t see ads for men’s wrinkle cream. You don’t see ads telling men they need longer lashes. You don’t see men telling them they need to look “flawless.” Yet, women are bombarded with those very instructions every day and if they don’t succumb to those expectations, they can sometimes lose their jobs.

The battle between women and society over makeup is not a new one, but it may be reaching a fervor. Last year, actress Demi Lavato started a trend using the hashtag #NoMakeupMonday. About the same time, the hashtag #Iwokeuplikethis began appearing. By the end of the year, the two hashtags had appeared on Instagram over 10 million times. The craze caught on and big name models and stars such as Taylor Swift, Cindy Crawford, and Gwenyth Paltrow have all posted bare-faced photos of themselves. Of course, they then went immediately and put on makeup.

The latest volley from the #nomakup side came last week when singer Alicia Keys announced that she’s not wearing makeup. Ever. In her article for the magazine Lenny, the singer says:

In one song I wrote, called “When a Girl Can’t Be Herself,” it says,

In the morning from the minute that I wake up  / What if I don’t want to put on all that makeup  / Who says I must conceal what I’m made of  / Maybe all this Maybelline is covering my self-esteem

No disrespect to Maybelline, the word just worked after the maybe. But the truth is … I was really starting to feel like that — that, as I am, I was not good enough for the world to see.

This started manifesting on many levels, and it was not healthy.

Every time I left the house, I would be worried if I didn’t put on makeup: What if someone wanted a picture?? What if they POSTED it??? These were the insecure, superficial, but honest thoughts I was thinking. And all of it, one way or another, was based too much on what other people thought of me.

The cover art for her new album is a picture of Ms. Keys, straight from the gym, no makeup, no styling, nothing. Of course, she’s beautiful.

But is that all it takes to undo decades of chauvinistic attitudes toward beauty? And, isn’t this expectation that everyone needs to be running around sans makeup just as bad as one that says everyone needs makeup? If someone else is setting the standard, isn’t one just as bad as the other?

Back in December of last year, Flare magazine published an open letter to Demi Levato that addresses that very situation. In that article, they raise the issue that there cannot be just one standard of beauty that magically fits all the women around the world. About halfway through the article, they make this statement:

It’s not the tyranny of makeup that women need to fight back against, but the tyranny of appearance. And when we post #nomakeup selfies, we’re replacing one beauty standard with another. Scratch that—we’re actually upholding an almost identical beauty standard. We’re just making it a lot harder to achieve by telling the women of the world that not only are they supposed to look like Goop or Rih-Rih or the ethereal goddess running across a field in your J.Crew catalogue—now they’re supposed to do it without the assistance of makeup.

And here women find themselves feeling as though they can’t please anyone. If they wear makeup, that’s feeding a negative stereotype. If they don’t wear makeup, they’re still feeding a negative bias that says they have to look a certain way. When does a woman get to choose how she looks because that’s how she wants to look?

Last April comedienne Amy Schumer took on the issue by parodying One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” and in doing so makes the point that pushing a #nomakeup standard is just as superficial as insisting that a woman must wear makeup every day for every occasion. Both are wrong. Both need to stop. The video is hilarious, so of course, I had to share:

Whether one likes makeup or not, what ultimately matters is that you look the way you want to look. Society has no business defining what is best, or preferable, or even professional. We haven’t even touched on the topic of modifications such as piercings and dermals. The only person who can define your beauty is you and if that includes makeup, that’s fine. No one has any room to criticize what makes you feel like the best and most beautiful you.

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Current Issues  /  PotD
Respect For Being Human
June 1, 2016
charles i. letbetter - respect for being human

I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being. —Jackie Robinson

 

charles i. letbetter - respect for being human

When it comes to listing one’s faults, those qualities that are the result of being human should never be among them

Humans are imperfect beings. One of the fears expressed in developing artificial intelligence is that as computers begin to realize just how inept and flawed we are they might consider us a blight on the planet that needs to be destroyed. There are days I tend to agree with the computers. We are selfish, mean, greedy, slothful, undependable, gluttonous, prideful, envious, disrespectful, racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, thoughtless, and absolutely despicable.

Even worse, we attempt to mask our failings with false justifications such as, “I’m just keeping it real,” or, “He’s just speaking his mind,” or, “I’m only telling you for your own good,” and, “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” Each of those statements is designed to cover for the fact that preceding and/or following statements are likely to be rude, insensitive, inaccurate, distasteful, inappropriate and downright mean. We have conned ourselves into believing that if we label the trash coming out of our mouths as “truth” then no one can argue against it.

Bullshit.

One of the things that make being human respectable is that we can change. Once our flaws and weaknesses are pointed out to us, we have the ability to correct our actions, to make amends, and we even have the ability to apologize. Just because we make a mistake once doesn’t mean we have to continue making that error. We can learn and improve. It’s called progress. 

Unfortunately, we too often fail to utilize that benefit. Instead of improving ourselves and working on our own flaws, we would rather pick on other people, attacking aspects of their humanity over which they have no control, such as body size, shape, skin color, gender, sexuality, language, nationality, and other hereditary factors which come with the package of being a unique being. Too often, we see what we don’t like in ourselves and project that dislike onto other people, saying and doing things that are totally unacceptable and, in some cases, even illegal.

The 14th amendment of the Constitution reads in part:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

The most important, and frequently litigated, phrase from that section is “equal protection.” What this amendment ultimately means is that no citizen is to be discriminated against for any reason. There are no exceptions made, no allowances for differences of opinion. All citizens of the United States are to be treated equally. Period. While the amendment was adopted in 1868, though, we are still having an extreme amount of difficulty understanding that there are no exceptions to being equal.

One of the challenges is that many of the discriminatory and anti-human attitudes and activities that still persist are encoded in both tradition and the regulations we have made for ourselves. We have told ourselves that appearance matters, that certain traits are acceptable while others are not, and that some aspects of one’s personal being should be accentuated while others should be downplayed, hidden, and even surgically altered. In short, we fail to have respect for the fact that we are human.

We often refer to incidents of body-shaming. There have been plenty of such problems hitting the media lately. One of the most recent comes from actress Kate Beckinsale claiming that she was body-shamed by director Michael Bay while filming the 2001 movie Pearl Harbor. Ms. Beckinsale states:

I think he was baffled by me because my boobs weren’t bigger than my head, and I wasn’t blonde.

If we have made any improvements over the past 15 years, it may be that men, at least those who are in public on a regular basis, have been conditioned to, at the very least, keep their mouths shut when it comes to making statements about a woman’s physical appearance. When one does step out of line, the Internet, especially Twitter, is very quick to respond and call attention to any inappropriate statements.

Where we’ve not made such an improvement, however, is how women mistreat other women, and men actually seem to encourage their bad behavior. Catfights on reality television, which are considered ratings gold, only perpetuate a culture of disrespect and even physical violence between women and men do nothing but stand on the sidelines cheering them on! How do we not see how absolutely repulsive and repugnant our behavior is? Disparaging another person for aspects of simply being human is wrong on every conceivable level.

Some of you have been following our story from last week regarding the woman we named Lenore and the nipple shaming she had received from her employer. We then updated that story yesterday upon discovering that a second employee, whom we’ll call Julia, had received an even more harsh reprimand because of her Philippino accent. Never mind the fact that Julia has worked hard on her English and probably speaks better than 70% of the Americans who walk through the business doors. Because someone had complained, the owner of the business considered the accent a problem.

After we made that update, the owner of the business called Lenore and proceeded to thoroughly shame every aspect of her physical appearance, from her face to her footwear. Lenore was left in tears, totally humiliated for simply being human.

Earlier this morning, we received a message from Julia announcing that she was quitting her job. Lenore has not yet given official notice but plans to do the same later this morning.

We need to get it through our thick heads that we are all human and we need to show respect for those aspects of our humanity that are inherent to our being. We need to stop fat-shaming people who have thyroid and other physical conditions that make it impossible for them to safely lose weight. We need to stop beauty-shaming women who refuse to damage their skin by wearing an overabundance of makeup. We need to stop making fun of people’s language accents; at least they are bilingual, something the people doing the shaming can seldom say. We need to stop drawing attention to people’s body parts; whether breasts are big or small is totally irrelevant, as is their nipple size.

Showing respect for human beings means taking a look at things such as dress codes and eliminating gender bias and unnecessary restrictions that do not have a direct correlation to the duties being performed. We need to move beyond the Disney-induced notion that the less attractive a person is the more evil and unacceptable they must be. Disparaging people simply for being human is not something a progressive society can allow to continue.

Unfortunately, in far too many cases, we seem to be moving in the opposite direction. We actually have a leading contender for the office of President who routinely shames and makes fun of other people. His comments about women and minorities have been absolutely deplorable and represent the absolute worst aspects of being human. There is no excuse. There is no way to justify such deplorable behavior on the part of anyone.

While you may have a right to say what you wish, you have a responsibility to know when to keep your fucking mouth shut. If what you are about to say shows disrespect and/or discrimination toward another person, shut the fuck up! The circumstances are irrelevant. The media is irrelevant. Even the actions of the other person are irrelevant. You have a responsibility to show respect to all people, regardless of physical appearance, gender, race, national origin, sexuality, mental acuity, emotional stability, medical ailment,  or physical challenges. If you fail to live up to that responsibility in any way, shape, or form, then you are WRONG.

Humans can be absolutely horrible creatures and do well to fear the presence of a more objective and intelligent being that might consider our faults justification for our demise. The only thing that stands in our defense is that we have the ability to change and to move beyond our shortcomings.

We need to get busy and start changing. Show respect for being human. Learn when to keep your mouth shut and start supporting other people rather than looking for ways to tear them down.

 

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Art  /  Photography
All About The Pictures
May 31, 2016
charles i. letbetter - dance or protest

The world today doesn’t make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do? —Pablo Picasso

 

charles i. letbetter - dance or protest

May Day gives us an option: we can either dance, or we can protest. Which is likely to do us the most good?

Why do you come here? Is it for the pictures or for the articles? Most of the time I assume you’re here for the pictures, but according to our stats for this past month, more of you have been reading the articles. At least, that’s what we assume since it takes you longer before leaving the page. We’re also keenly aware that not many of you visit every day. We don’t blame you. Few people have time or inclination to visit any website every day. So, it’s just natural that you’re going to miss something cool from time to time.

We decided, since it’s the last day of the month and I’m so freaking tired of talking around political topics without getting too horribly involved, that we would give you a chance to catch up on some of the pictures you’ve missed. The is a bit one-sided since I’m not linking you to the articles at the same time. I thought about that option, but that would mean leaving this page or opening a new tab/window, any of  which could become very confusing. So, this one is for all the people who come here for the photos. We’re posting all the main images from this month’s articles; not the header images and none of the images contained in a slide show.

In case one of the photos strikes your curiosity and you want to see exactly what we were talking about, you can go to our blog page and scroll down. We began the month with Dance or Protest and continued through topics ranging from moms to using god as an excuse to the absence of free will to more talk about nipples. Oh, and a BUNCH of people got upset about this post, but nearly ignored this one and this one, either of which are more important. That just shows how different our priorities are.

This is for all our photography fans. Thank you for visiting. We hope to see you more often in June.

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PotD  /  Status
Frustrating Frustrations
May 25, 2016

Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. —Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

charles i. letbetter - frustrating frustrations

I’m not one prone to endure frustrating situations in silence. If there’s a problem, people need to know.

Starting the day in a bad mood is rarely a good thing. Typically, when that happens it is the result of a bad dream and I can shake it, to some degree, by the time everyone else is awake. This morning, though, Kat and I were greeted by a frustrating situation before either of us were really ready to get up. Walking the dog helped tamp down my temper, but even that was frustrating as this nosey hound dog flushed a cat from its hiding spot and attempted to take off after it, nearly jerking his leash from my hand. Coffee helped, but I’m feeling a bit frustrated by that now as I look over and my cup is almost empty. I’ll have to stop and make more.

Much of what I find frustrating is beyond my control. Weather, for example. The forecast for each of the next five days holds some chance of rain and/or thunderstorms. We both know it won’t actually rain all those days, but as long as the barometric pressure remains below 30.12 In. I’m stuck trying to pretend that every joint in my body doesn’t hurt when I move. Not a damn thing I can do, legally, short of moving to Colorado. Even that doesn’t solve the problem but makes it more bearable.

I’m frustrated by my own errors. I sit here typing and there are too many times when my fingers and my mind are not in agreement as to exactly which version of they’re/there/their should be used or how a word is spelled. Such errors are frustrating because my head knows the correct usage and spelling. Somehow, though, the wrong synapses fire and my fingers get the wrong message and as I look back over a sentence I’ve just typed I find ridiculous errors that only a child should make. I expect better of myself. Of course, then I read an article from a major news outlet and find similar mistakes and don’t feel quite so bad.

Politics are frustrating. Continuously. This morning, it is the protests outside a political rally last night in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I’m frustrated not only because the two presumptive nominees are both total pieces of crap who will do our country significant harm, but because I fear the protests may lead to something worse. The situation is not aided by the fact that already disenfranchised people are being further disenfranchised by the candidates. Every time one of the candidates speak, people are given a reason to hate them all that much more. The system isn’t working and that’s frustrating.

Global unrest is beyond frustrating and, again, not a damn thing I can do about it. Talking with my son stationed in Okinawa brings frightening clarity to news reports of China conducting extended naval drills in the South China Sea.  These are more than the standard defense preparedness drills in which every military organization participates. Such drills imply that more aggressive actions are being considered, if not planned. Add that to all the absolute nonsense in the Middle East and frustration is just the tip of the emotional iceberg.

The fact that it’s #NationalWineDay and I’m totally out of anything good is very frustrating. By “anything good” I mean anything that costs more than $5 a bottle. I’m not especially picky, though I do have an abundance of fruit that needs to be eaten so something white is probably a good choice. Of course, the closest liquor store doesn’t carry much wine. This is more of a beer neighborhood. That would be yet another point of frustration.

You should be getting the picture by now that there are plenty of frustrating things in my world, and I’m pretty sure there are plenty of frustrating things in your world. I could easily continue. Fencing we ordered has yet to arrive. Meetings that needed to be scheduled before the kids get out of school for the summer haven’t been. We don’t know what we’re doing with the kids all summer and we don’t have money for endless camps. The little brat across the street keeps stealing the Tipster’s tricycle from under the carport. And on and on and on.

Dealing with so much frustration could be fatal. My blood pressure is already high and not being sure what I’m doing for dinner tonight doesn’t help. I could have a heart attack or a stroke if I can’t find a set of pictures that I need. So, what do we do to combat these frustrations? Here’s my plan:

  1. More coffee. We’re on our second pot this morning. I anticipate at least two more before Kat leaves for school. It’s just one of those days. Coffee keeps me from throwing things.
  2. Nap with the dog. He’s a good hound dog who likes to sleep right on top of me. He has a good sense for knowing exactly when to lick my face.
  3. Keep food easy. No elaborate preparations for anything today. At the moment, I’m favoring some form of salad for dinner. The kids love salad.
  4. Avoid answering any messages that I already know are going to be upsetting. They are not critical to anyone’s life or death, so they will wait until I can respond without ripping someone’s head off their shoulders.
  5. Stay the fuck off Facebook. I’m fortunate in that I can post to my page there without having to actually be on Facebook. What I see in my newsfeed too often makes me prone to acts of violence, such as slapping some sense into someone’s head. I don’t need that kind of trouble, so we’ll just stay away.
  6. Smooches. Lots and lots of smooches, even if they have to be digital. Something tells me Kat’s guests wouldn’t especially like it if I walked onto the floor and starting smooching her up while she’s trying to color someone’s hair. So, we’ll keep our smooches digital. That is better than nothing.
  7. Chocolate. We keep a stash hidden just for days like this.

The one other thing that could help isn’t immediately available: shooting a new set of nudes. I didn’t have the foresight to schedule anyone. If you’re reading this and want to volunteer, you know how to contact me. Just do it before Belvedere and I take our nap. We both get frustrated when someone interrupts our nap . One of us is likely to bite. Not saying which one.

We’ll get past this frustrating day. We almost always do. Just don’t do anything stupid and we should be fine.

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Mythology  /  Social Commentary
Religions Against Progress
May 24, 2016
charlesi. letbetter - religion against progress

Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex. —Karl Marx

 

charles i. letbetter - religions against progress

Religions that attempt to control sexuality slow the progress of that society

Religion is bad for society. At least, that’s the correlation one finds when comparing the level of sexual oppression to the amount of control a religion, any of them, has on government. Where there is over-abundant religious control there is no sexual freedom and where there is no sexual freedom society, as a whole, takes a giant step backwards.

A lot of people have control issues, and a lot of those people try to hide their control issues by encoding them in a set of rules. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that major religions, which have more rules than any other organizations, might be full of control freaks. What’s especially bad about that, though, is in their attempt to maintain control, they are inhibiting the grown and progress of the societies of which they are a part.

I’m not going to bother linking to any of the three different stories I saw yesterday regarding some pastor or church leader being caught in a sex sting (two with underage children). At this point, we’ve seen those headline so many times I’m rather surprised that confidence in the clergy is holding together at all. While I know many pastors are genuinely good people, we are seeing headlines such as these almost every day now. For me, that’s a little unsettling and I question why it’s not that way for more people.

Then, there was this article in Sunday’s Daily Beast describing how Muslim women are mistreated if they dare show their hair. Specifically, there has been a crackdown on Instagram models from Iran who posted pictures with their hair uncovered. As repressive as Christianity can be, Islam can be even worse and the consequences can be severe, all as a means of control.

Hindu women are not much better off as 85% identify with a caste system in which women are not only subject to beating and abuse by the male members of the family, but are restricted by the constructs of the caste system with rules seeking better opportunities for themselves. Women are taught at an early age to not ask questions, to not expect better, and to obey their husbands.

While sexual oppression is common across all three of the world’s major religions, we have to realize that sexuality isn’t the problem. The problem is a desire for abject control and sexuality is the tool religions use for exerting that control. They tell you when sex is right (within very strict guidelines established by the church for the specific purpose of retaining its dominance) and when sex is wrong (which is anything the religious leaders can’t control). They define who can and who can’t have sex and then enforce those rules with laws that are cruel and often violent.

But the rules and laws against sexuality have nothing to do with devotion to a deity or set of deities. Sexual oppression, just like rape, is about control and patriarchal religions are not anxious to give that up, even when they know what they’re doing is wrong. Male theocrats across all three religions are the loudest voices in opposition of sexual openness and liberations. You can see it in the likes of Texas Senator and former presidential candidate Ted Cruz. You can see it in the election of Ahmad Jannati to Iran’s Assembly of Experts.  You can see it in just how close far right-wing candidate Norbert Hofer came to winning Austria’s presidential elections this week. You can see it in the political actions of India’s ultra-conservative Prime Minister Narendra Modi. All are looking for religious control and all are, to one degree or another, using sexual oppression as a means of getting it.

Increasingly, sexual freedom has become a sort of litmus test for whether a society is open and progressive or closed and regressive. To the extent that the most conservative elements of any religion have any voice or say in a government, the more closed and restrictive that society is likely to be and open displays of sexuality are punished. The more secular a government, the more open and sexually liberated is the society likely to be, which also correlates in social progressiveness in other areas.

This leaves us with the logical conclusion that religion, in its desire for complete control, is against any form of progress that might allow people, women especially, to be in control of their own bodies, their own thoughts, and their own actions. If we are to move forward, we must take more of a hard line against religion in government. Interestingly enough, the very first amendment of the United States Constitution addresses that need.

So, how does sexuality relate to a progressive society? Because where we are open to exploring the advancement of sexuality, we are also open to exploring the advancement of other things, such as food, art and creativity, literature, human development, intellectual disabilities, and a host of other areas. Our attitudes toward sexuality impact almost every other aspect of our lives. Progress does not come in just one area on its own, but as awareness and openness in one dimension of our lives impacts others and pushes us toward the improvement of those conditions. Interestingly enough, though, progress in all those areas comes without acknowledgement of or any connection to religion. Religious control in such fields as the arts and sciences would be limiting at best and destructive at its worst.

I know religious moderates will object to such a strong anti-religion stance. “Not all religions are dominating and controlling,” they will say. To some extent they are correct. More moderate to liberal theologies are open to multiple views of sexuality. However, none of those religions are attempting to control the conduct of entire countries, either. Moderate religions don’t even dominate religion. Those on the far right end of the religious spectrum are the ones with the control issues, and, much to the detriment of everyone else, we’ve allowed them to have increasing amounts of control to the point they use that power to deny us the most basic of freedoms.

Note: we’re not picking on any one religion here. Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism are all equally guilty. Together, they are attempting to hold back the progress of two-thirds of the world’s population and they are doing so by attempting to control matters of sexuality.

The struggle against religious control is not one of just LGBT rights, or feminism, or reproductive rights, or anything else affected by the control religions attempt to exert over society. The struggle against religious control is a fight for humanity, a fight for progress, and a fight for reason. We should be alarmed. We should be vocal. And as much as anything, we should support sexual freedom and exploration in every culture and civilization around the world.

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PotD  /  science
Intercourse No More
May 21, 2016
charles i. letbetter - intercourse no more

Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives. —Bertrand Russell

 

 

charles i. letbetter - intercourse no more

Sexual intercourse may not be required for the perpetuation of the species, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be fun

Intercourse, that aspect of sexual relations performed primarily for and to the end of creating more little people with which to overpopulate the planet, is a problem. There are, globally, too many of us for the planet to sustain. Yet, due to uneven distribution of that population we, as Americans, don’t see the effects that come from having an excessive amount of copulation. We don’t see the overcrowding. We don’t see the poverty. We don’t see the disease. There’s a tremendous problem and, for the most part, we’re keeping our eyes shut.

Our children and grandchildren, however, may not have to deal with many of the consequences that come from our insatiable desire for sex. Earlier this week, we discussed how that, given that free will is a myth, we might one day be able to map the chemicals and neuron combinations that lead to inappropriate behaviors, such as murder, rape, and threat, and turn those off. Imagine how much better the world will be when we turn off that inclination and desire to kill people and do them harm.

Then,  I was reading last night an article concerning how close we are to taking the sex out of procreation. With advances in in-vitro fertilization (IVF), not only is it safer to procreate without intercourse, the world’s longevity may soon require that to be the only means through which children are born. We may not have a choice.

Here’s the thing: procreating the old-fashion way of picking a mate and shagging until you’re purple carries with it a load of dangers. Not only is there the threat of sexually transmitted diseases, there’s an even greater likelihood that both of you are passing along genetic traits and tendencies that lead to even worse outcomes. The intercourse with which we are most familiar allows us to pass on to our children the entire gene structure of our ancestors, including their inclination toward male-pattern baldness, Tay-Sachs disease, cystic fibrosis, Huntington’s disease, and over 250 other potentially fatal conditions that can already easily be eliminated with IVF.

As research continues, we may eventually be able to completely eradicate genetic disease and quite possibly build immunities against other forms of illness as well. Within four or five generations, we could have a population that is stronger and healthier than we have ever been. The downside to that, though, is that we won’t die off as fast, making the overpopulation problem even more critical than it already is.

Somewhere within the next one hundred years, overpopulation cannot help but become a front line issue that politicians and governments can no longer ignore. You think government interference in your sex life is bad now, it could get a lot worse. Requiring children to be conceived only through IVF or some similar method does two things that are important for the future. First, it makes our offspring  healthier, wiser, and safer. If we drop genetic diseases and eliminate the chemicals and synaptic combinations that lead to crime, we have the healthiest and safest society ever. Second, by using only IVF, the rate of procreation can be controlled. We can effectively bring population numbers down in the most heavily populated areas of the world, and boost them in those regions where underpopulation is also a problem.

At this point, we no longer need intercourse. In fact, one has to wonder if, among all the other impulses we filter from human existence, we might not eventually elimination sexual desire altogether. After all, how many really good science fiction movies have you seen where the characters showed any inclination toward boinking each other? We might see a passionate kiss here and there because we can’t imagine expressing deep emotion any other way, but that’s about all we get in the future: a kiss. That prospect would be rather sad and disappointing.

However, if we don’t need intercourse but can still have intercourse, what that does is open the door toward exploring sex simply as an elevated means of physical pleasure. If we no longer have to worry about disease or accidental pregnancies, we are free to explore and allow our sexual lives to be more open. Proclivities we have hidden behind the term “kink” would more likely be brought out into the open, become more socially acceptable, and explore means of physical pleasure from which we currently shy away. Not using sex to have babies has the potential to be very freeing.

With such developments, we could also see a significant shift in power control as gay and lesbian individuals, whose sexual activities don’t produce children already, become the preferred leadership around the world. This would follow a line of reasoning wherein those who can still procreate naturally are seen as a threat to world security.  Same-gender sex could very well become the dominant form of sex, which just might make the world a more fabulous place to live.

Of course, there’s a downside. Stolen genetic material might be manipulated in such a way as to create a race of super villains the like of which no one at Marvel or DC Comics has ever imagined. I assume the appropriate response from some future grandchild of Tony Stark would be to create a combative race of superheroes to keep the rest of us safe. The world would likely never be perfect, but it would definitely be interesting.

For better or worse, all of these possibilities still lie reasonably well into the future. I’m not expecting to walk into my doctor’s office one day and be told, “Hey, we can cure you of all that old-age grumpiness.” I’m not sure I would want that to happen. But if they can make intercourse better, then sign us all up! The future could be very pleasurable.

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Fashion  /  PotD
Empowerment Or Exploitation
May 18, 2016
charles i. letbetter - empowerment or exploitation

Climate change, demographics, water, food, energy, global health, women’s empowerment – these issues are all intertwined. We cannot look at one strand in isolation. Instead, we must examine how these strands are woven together. —Ban Ki-moon

 

charles i. letbetter - empowerment or enslavement

Empowerment is more than words; the actions have to match as well

There are days, like today, where I feel as though all the stories are the same, we’ve merely switched up the names a bit. Twenty years ago, June of 1996, Kathie Lee Gifford was co-host of a popular morning talk show and was active in causes designed to empower women. Somewhere along the way, someone convinced her that putting her name on a clothing label would be a good idea. The label would be affordable and provide stylish fashion to women who couldn’t afford the big designer names. Empowerment; that’s a good thing, right? There was just one problem.

June 26 came along and the chief executive of National Labor Committee Education Fund in Support of Worker and Human Rights in Central America told Congress that the clothes were being made by 13- and 14-year-olds in Honduras. Even worse, those children were being forced to work 20-hour days. Empowerment? No, enslavement.

The backlash against Mrs. Gifford was quick and hard. She was demonized from every direction. Never mind that it was Wal-Mart, not Mrs. Gifford, who had made the choice of suppliers. No one ever bothered to picket the people directly responsible. Instead, because her name was attached to the brand, it was Mrs. Gifford who had to take the responsibility.

Celebrity labels often have this problem. Putting their name on clothes can produce a perpetual revenue stream for the celebrity, often without them making any actual investment in the products at all. Their name, their face in the advertising, virtually ensures that the products will sell well. The celebrity can then use a portion the profits to support a cause of empowerment to a specific group, typically one related to their own background. Sounds like a can’t miss scenario, doesn’t it?

But it does miss. Often. In addition to Mrs. Giffords nightmare, which eventually sunk the label, both Jaclyn Smith and Michael Jordan have lent their names to clothing lines only to have the claim on sweatshop use leveled against them. This is not a new story, and it’s happening again.

This time, it’s Beyonce’s Ivy Park label that’s coming under fire. British newspaper ran a story this past Sunday claiming that the sportswear brand is being manufactured in Sri Lanka by women making mere pittance a day in confining circumstances with strict curfews. That article wasn’t too bad, as it sloppily attempted to connect the brand, and its UK seller, Topshop, to disgraced BHS executive,Sir Philip Green. But then, writer Sirin Kale picked up the story for Vice brand Broadly and took the matter much, much deeper, exposing the severity of the situation.

Beyonce talks a lot about how she wants her Ivy Park brand to be a source of empowerment for women. In an interview with Elle (which also manages to cement Philip Green’s involvement), the music diva says of the brand:

It’s really the essence: to celebrate every woman and the body she’s in while always striving to be better. I called it Ivy Park because a park is our commonality. We can all go there; we’re all welcomed. It’s anywhere we create for ourselves. For me, it’s the place that my drive comes from. I think we all have that place we go to when we need to fight through something, set our goals and accomplish them.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Inspiring, even. I’ve no reason to doubt the singer’s sincerity. But I’m pretty sure the women making those clothes aren’t visiting any parks, either. They do one thing and one thing only: make Ivy Park clothes.

The women who work for the Sri Lankan garment manufacturer make roughly the equivalent of sixty-two cents an hour. They don’t see their families; they live in dormitories on-site. They have strict curfews and their movement is limited. They barely survive. One woman said the $126 a month she makes sewing mesh panels into leggings was not enough to cover her basic expenses. Where’s the empowerment in that?

Now, to be fair, conditions in Sri Lanka are not as bad as those in Bangladesh or Pakistan. The company that owns the sweatshop pays particular attention to the building’s structure and meeting appropriate building codes. Women here are not as likely to be caught in a burning building. I should also mention that their pay is above Sri Lanka’s pitiful excuse for a minimum wage. However, workers would need to be paid nearly three times that minimum, or more than double their current wage, before they can actually live off what they are making.

Working conditions don’t have to be the worst in the world before they become exploitation. When the clothing retails at (approximately) $14 for a headband on up to $250 or so for a dress, someone is being empowered, but it is being done through the exploitation of women whose conditions are desperate enough that they will work for such horrible wages. Millions of dollars will flow into Beyonce’s bank account, and equally so for Topshop, but not for anyone else. Exactly how is that empowering to anyone but Beyonce?

We keep seeing this pattern over and over and over with almost every celebrity label on the market. Beyonce isn’t the only one, she’s just the latest big name who’s making money off women so poor they likely have never even heard of the singer and certainly can’t afford her albums.

As we saw with Mrs. Gifford’s label, though, canceling orders, shutting down the sweatshops, isn’t the answer, either. When Wal-Mart finally pulled the clothing order from the Honduran sweatshop, over 10,000 people lost desperately needed jobs. In Beyonce’s case, the numbers would likely be even higher. It’s not just the workers but entire poverty-ridden countries being exploited by the whole fashion industry.

If Beyonce was really serious about empowering women, she’d make sure those is Sri Lanka were receiving a living wage, even if that means shaving a percentage point off her own profit. If she were serious about empowerment, a portion of the profits could go into the Sri Lankan communities in desperate need of help. If empowerment were really the focus, The singer could support nutrition and education programs for the women making her clothes.

Fashion isn’t about empowerment, though, despite what their marketing packet might say. Fashion is about profit and if that means exploiting large groups of disadvantaged and disenfranchised people, then sadly the fashion establishment finds those terms acceptable.

Celebrity labels are nothing more than an attempt to profit from a name while it’s popular. No one is empowered. No one is given an advantage. It’s all about the money and exploitation. Every. Damn. Time.

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Current Issues  /  Fashion  /  Mythology  /  pop culture
Modesty Doesn’t Become You
May 16, 2016
charles i. letbetter - modesty doesn't become you

It is strange that modesty is the rule for women when what they most value in men is boldness. —Ninon de L’Enclos

 

charles i. letebetter - modesty doesn't become you

Modesty should never be a mandate, but only a personal choice for those who understand their own power

Modesty is a topic that tends to get my dander up, so to speak, because I see it misapplied and inappropriately mandated and used as a bullying weapon far too often. Modesty has been used to shame, to subjugate, to imprison, and to deny rights to women for centuries and that we continue to put up with such nonsense leaves me angry. There are three specific instances that are raising my blood pressure this morning, even though not all recent.

In fact, the first happened a couple of months ago. Kat, as you may or may not have noticed, has relatively small breasts. We’re both cool with that. They have their advantages, one being that she doesn’t typically need to wear a bra. In some cases, wearing a bra can even be painful. So, she doesn’t. However, during a performance review at work a couple of months ago, she discovered that one of her co-workers, not a client or anyone of authority, but a co-worker had complained that sometimes the shape of Kat’s nipples are visible beneath her clothing. Normally, we call such an attitude petty and let it go.

Then, this past Saturday, KTLA meteorologist Liberté Chan was going through the morning weather report when morning news anchor Chris Burrous, a man whose own hair style was stolen from a 1950s evangelist, handed her a sweater during the live broadcast because, “we’re getting emails.” This is just so incredibly foul one has to see it for it to be believed.

https://youtu.be/NuhXbGwcUwo

Chan, who know that those who complain lose their jobs, laughed off the whole episode and Burrous later apologized, but neither is sufficient to excuse both the behavior and the reasoning behind it.

Finally, we published an article yesterday, Life Isn’t That Bad, and shared it with a few friends who expressed feeling a little hopeless about all the bad news in the world. In one instance, a woman, who is not a mutual acquaintance, commented: “Smart message. Terrible blouse.” I had to drop back and take a look at the article. I chose yesterday’s imagery because of Ella’s smile, not what she was wearing. Turns out, she’s wearing a sweater, not a blouse, and had chosen to leave it unbuttoned, daring to show some cleavage.

Modesty is a big thing among many religious zealots and in certain parts of conservative culture as a whole. Some entire countries demand that women dress modestly and provide for severe punishment if they don’t. Even the Puritans who inhabited the English settlement at Jamestown held some pretty tyrannical views. Mandatory modesty is global and a part of everyday life for many.

There’s just one HUGE problem with all this forced modesty: Everywhere you see it, without exception, it is being done in an attempt to shame, dominate, subjugate, and objectify women. Women are not told to cover up because doing so empowers them. Women are not told to be modest because it gives them more authority. Women are not told to be modest because it helps their voice to be heard.

No, women are told to be modest because they are “distracting,” which demeans them to being nothing more than shiny, pretty objects. Women are told to be modest because their dress style is “inappropriate,” which means someone is shaming them. Women are told to be modest because “only your husband should see you like that,” which is both dominating and subjugating. Every time women are told to be modest, in inference is that they are doing something wrong, even if all they are doing is existing.

What especially sickens me is that this disempowering nonsense is being taught to young girls from the moment they first learn to dress. There is an absolutely disgusting movement among conservative evangelicals called Secret Keepers. I was concerned the moment I heard the name, because keeping secrets is a tool used by rapists, specifically child molesters who are trying to keep their victims silent. “Secret Keepers” immediately sounds to me a group of children who have been molested. What it is, though, is a movement designed to impress girls as young as eight years old with the concept that their bodies are not their own and that modesty helps keep them “pure” for their eventual husbands. Get a load of some of their nonsense:

Bellies are very intoxicating and we need to save that for our husbands!

Lean forward a little bit. Can you see too much chest or future cleavage? Your shirt is too low.

It all depends on whether God has chosen to bless you with breasts or not.

There you go. Already, girls are being told that not only are their bodies not their own, but that they are little more than objects to be possessed by husbands and that their budding sexuality is distracting. Where this leads, ultimately, is the concept that victims are responsible for their own rape. They were “asking for it” because of how they dressed, or how they walked, or how they otherwise were sufficiently immodest.

We already have more than enough trouble combating the pervasive rape culture that has dominated our society for centuries. Women everywhere need to know that they can wear whatever they hell they want, where and whenever they wish, without being placed in physical danger. Women, and young girls, need to know that they can stand up for themselves and their ideals without the threat of violence against them.

Furthermore, women need to know that they, at the very least, have the same right to be dominant, to be forceful, to be bold, to be adventurous as any man who ever lived. If that boldness means one needs to take off their shirt to make a point, go for it. There is absolutely NO reason women should be shamed for doing exactly the same thing that we encourage men and boys to do.

I know there are already countless articles on this topic all over the Internet, so I won’t go on at length. Those were just the things stuck in my craw this morning.

Ultimately, though, I’m looking forward to the day we can view something like the video below as just another weather forecast. Fair warning, if you’re viewing this at work you probably do not want to scroll down.

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Current Issues  /  Mythology  /  PotD
If Puritans Were Treated Like Muslims
May 16, 2016
charles i. letbetter - if puritans were treated like muslims

All too many Muslims fail to grasp Islam, which teaches one to be lenient towards others and to understand their value systems, knowing that these are tolerated by Islam as a religion. —Abdurrahman Wahid

 

charles i. letbetter - if puritans were treated like muslims

What if Native Tribes were as xenophobic toward Puritans as Americans today are toward Muslims?

xen·o·pho·bi·a

[ˌzenəˈfōbēə, ˌzēnəˈfōbēə]

NOUN

  1. intense or irrational dislike or fear of people from other countries.

America, we have a problem. The name of that problem is xenophobia. We can no longer ignore our problem. We can no longer tolerate the blatant and distasteful exhibition of our problem. We need to address this matter head on and put it to an end. Muslims are not inherently bad. Immigrants are not inherently bad. Believing that they are is not American and is not acceptable in an intelligent and progressive society.

I realize that these are tough words to start on a Monday morning, but we need the focus and determination that Mondays provide. Xenophobia has gotten out of control and needs to be stopped.

A prime example of xenophobia was made public in court documents last Friday when it was revealed that a North Carolina man (why is it always the Carolinas?) on a Southwest Airlines flight decided he needed to rip the hijab off a Muslim woman and scream, “Take it off! This is America!” The man was convicted of a misdemeanor hate crime, but this is just one small symptom of a wider disease.

After reading of this account, I began to wonder: What would have happened if native tribespeople had been xenophobic toward the Puritan separatists that landed at Plymouth in 1620? We know the Powhatan tribe that initially encountered these strangely dressed white people were suspicious, and they had good cause to be. European-based diseases left behind by Columbus and his crew had already made their way up the East coast from Florida and were wiping out millions of native peoples. In fact, some have wondered that, had the tribes not been decimated by disease, they might not have been willing to tolerate the newcomers at all.

When we think about it a bit, one can see similarities between how the Powhatan might have viewed the Puritans compared to how many people today view Muslims.

  • The Puritan separatists who followed William Bradford were refugees. They were considered traitors in England and unwelcome rabble rousers most everywhere else in Europe. Only the very liberal Holland offered to take them in, and Bradford found the social structure there too “ungodly” for his brand of religious extremism. They had nowhere else to go. Many Muslims know exactly how that feels.
  • Puritan women dressed funny, at least in the eyes of the Powhatan. Puritans were very concerned about modesty and a woman could be imprisoned, whipped, and even killed for dressing immodestly.  Puritan women wore no fewer than ten different pieces of clothing and having too few petticoats or not covering her head in public was considered scandalous. For native peoples looking on wearing little more than deer skin, such costuming certainly seemed ridiculous. Similarly, few Americans today understand why Muslim women dress so modestly.
  • Puritan women had no rights; they were considered the property of their husbands. They could not own property or speak in church, and they dare not challenge their husbands. Native peoples who respected and elevated women found this treatment quite strange, just as modern Americans find the different relationships of some (not all) Muslims to be unusual.
  • Puritans had a strange religion that native peoples did not understand. Native tribes were spiritual to be sure, but they saw their deities as benevolent whereas the god these Puritans worshiped was fearful and angry. Likewise, large numbers of Americans view Islam and any other non-Christian religion as “strange” and some would even deny Muslims the right to worship openly.
  • Puritans didn’t speak the native language. Communication was difficult and challenging. Muslims and other immigrants struggle with English now. Is there really any difference?

The similarities between the Puritan separatists we know as Pilgrims and modern Muslims immigrating to these same shores is striking. Both chased from the lands of their birth, neither understood, both disadvantaged, and both trying to hold true to their spiritual beliefs while surrounded by a people and culture that did not and does not understand them.

What if the response of the Powhatan had been to turn Bradford and his followers away? Certainly, there were more than a few opportunities to completely wipe out these pale settlers and be rid of them. What if the tribes had decided to build walls, fencing the pilgrims off and limiting their access to food and water?  Perhaps the Powhatan might have forced the immigrants to learn their language. If so, we might all be speaking Algonquian languages now.

Had the Powhatan been as xenophobic as we’ve become, we would not be the country we are now. While speculating on how we might have developed is futile, the willingness of the tribes to tolerate those early religious refugees in the strange clothes, to the point of the tribes’ own doom, was critical in shaping what we have become.

In his commencement address at Rutgers University this past weekend, President Obama addressed the problem of xenophobia in our country.

Isolating or disparaging Muslims, suggesting that they should be treated differently when it comes to entering this country. That is not just a betrayal of our values. That’s not just a betrayal of who were are — it would alienate the communities at home and abroad who are our most important partners in the fight against violent extremism. Suggesting that we can build an endless a wall along our borders and blame our challenges on immigrants — that doesn’t just run counter to our history as the world’s melting pot. It contradicts the evidence that our growth and our innovation and our dynamism has always been driven by our ability to attract strivers from other parts of the globe. That’s how we became America — why would we want to stop it now?

[You can read the full text of President Obama’s address here or watch it here.]

If we are going to continue to be the America we think we are, if we are going to continue to be the land of the free and the home of the brave, if we are going to continue to be the world’s leaders in economics and innovation and science and discovery, then we cannot tolerate xenophobia within our ranks. We must challenge those who speak disparagingly against immigrants, against those who do not speak English, against those who think we must all be Christian, and against those who would turn people away and erect walls along our borders. We must embrace those who are fleeing from political and religious persecution. We must welcome those who come in search of hope. We must put our arms around those looking for the success we have already found.

We cannot live in fear, any fear, whether it is fear of Muslims or Jews or Hindu or Southern Baptists. We cannot live fearing people who arrive on our shores from Syria, Honduras, Mexico, or Guatemala. We cannot live in fear of change, of different cultures, languages, and styles of dress.

We are Americans, damnit. Fear has no place here. Stand up and welcome them to their new home, just like the Powhatan did for a bunch of sea-weary religious extremists in 1620.

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Advertising  /  Fashion  /  PotD
Modeling Sucks. Sometimes.
May 11, 2016
charles i. letbetter - modeling sucks sometimes

I never cared about modeling. As a model, you’re powerless. —Karen Gillan

 

charles i. letbetter - modeling sucks sometimes

If you’re looking to make a career out of modeling and don’t already have a fat bank account, you might want to think again.

Back in 2005, when I first considered moving to Indianapolis from Atlanta, I naturally wanted to make sure that I would be able to have sufficient income. I did a little digging and was able to make contact with four different modeling agencies here. Three were delightfully quick to say yes, they would be happy to utilize my services. The fourth, Helen Wells, wouldn’t commit but at least was open to discussion. I had similar phone calls with ad agencies with similar results. So, I put the majority of my belongings in a storage unit (which would later flood), packed the rest in the back of a rental car, and headed North feeling somewhat optimistic about the future.

Within two weeks I knew I was wrong in my assessment. One modeling agency packed up and moved the very next day after I met with them, taking all the models’ earnings with them. Another told me how much they paid for a model’s comp card session, but they only had one model due to a disagreement over pay. They were gone within 30 days of that conversation. The third was more difficult to pin down, never quite having time to schedule a meeting and when we did was suspiciously non-committal. By the end of the summer, a lawsuit had been brought against the agency for withholding models’ pay. The models won the suit, but the agency owner fled the state without paying anyone.

I don’t know how many times  I’ve talked with aspiring models who just wanted to make a little extra money while in college. Modeling sounds like it would be an easy source of cash for anyone who is reasonably attractive. The common perspective is that all one has to do is show up. Someone does your hair and makeup, someone else provides your wardrobe, then you just stand in front of a camera and pose for a few minutes. Boom, instant easy cash. But that’s not the way modeling works at all. Not even close.

Modeling has always had its shell games and money rackets going all the way back to the 1940s when professional modeling began. The industry runs loose with absolutely no one overseeing it in any way. Some states have laws concerning how long models can work if they’re under 18, and a few European countries have some form of law designed to protect against eating disorders, but for the most part, modeling agencies do whatever they damn well please and models almost always end up feeling more like victims.

CNN Money recently started airing a five-part investigative series called Runway Injustice, taking a detailed look at the dark and dirty side of modeling. Only two parts have been released so far, but it is obvious from the title that the cable news outlet isn’t taking a positive view of the modeling industry. They’re looking at the con games, the slow-to-pay problem, and how many agencies make money charging models for expenses. One former model even goes on record as saying her agency charged her for the flowers they sent her on her birthday.

When one watches a fashion show and sees all the long-legged girls parading past in next season’s fashion, one might get the impression that these models are doing quite well for themselves, but the truth is quite different. While designers might pay the Hadid or Jenner offspring outrageous (and unjustified) amounts for showing up, most labels still pay less than $5,000 per model. I know, that still sounds like a lot, but from that travel, hotel, and food expenses are deducted, on top of the agency’s standard 20% commission and administrative fees. Many models walk away, after months of waiting, with less than $500. Some end up actually owing the agency money. Even Cara Delevigne, who has been at the very top of the game, doesn’t have anything nice to say about the industry and how it treats models.

Increasingly, the value of an agency, or “management company” as many like IMG prefer to be called now, is being called into question. More casting agents are looking at sources such as Instagram and other social media outlets, choosing models with exceptionally high numbers of followers, which virtually guarantees success for whatever ad campaign or runway show in which the model appears. Unrepresented, or independent, these models have difficulty keeping the work flowing. Most end up signing with an agency and find themselves right back in the same traps that more traditional models experience.

All this begs the question that, if modeling is such a horrible career, why would young people want to even consider doing such a thing? The answer is that not everything about modeling is horrible. For many, just the fun of being in front of the camera, getting to play dress-up with the wardrobe, the opportunity to travel (even if it’s on their own dime), and sometimes meeting really cool and famous people is sufficient. Some use modeling as a way to explore their alter ego, being in front of the camera what they cannot be in their private lives. Others use modeling as a means of escape from other horrible conditions.  For many, just the chance that they might become part of the .05% who actually make a fantastic living is enough to risk everything.

I’m sure that, at the end of the CNN investigation, there will be someone advocating greater oversight of the industry and legislation to protect models from various forms of abuse and deceit. Don’t expect anything to actually happen, though. We’ve heard all these complaints before. Nothing I’ve seen in the CNN report so far is new or different from what I’ve seen and heard for 30 years. The sad fact is models are not an organized group, therefore they are not able to present a single or unified voice. They don’t have, and can’t afford, lobbyist speaking to legislators on their behalf. No one sticks up for them and, once the spotlight of the CNN story fades, everything will almost certainly continue on the way it has.

Modeling is fun, sometimes, but there are a lot of other times when it just plain sucks. If someone wants to do it for the fun and adventure, great. Go for it. Have fun every step of the way. Don’t expect to get rich, though, and watch your back at every turn. While being a model can present some incredible experiences, it’s not likely to leave you swimming in cash. In fact, you’ll be needing your own gas money. Always.

Good luck.

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Photography  /  PotD
Philosophies Of Photography
May 10, 2016
charles i. letbetter - philosophies of photography

There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness. —Dalai Lama

 

charles i. letbetter - philosophies of photography

Why a photographer takes a picture is sometimes more important than what is being photographed.

I learned a long time ago that I can’t please everyone. There are a few people, fewer than five, who seem frustrated that I don’t write more about photography since that is mostly what I do. I suppose I could do that, but I’ve always operated under the premise that if one is reading about photography one is not doing photography and the only real way to improve is to do, not read. When I do write about photography, I want it to be something that is genuinely helpful.

What I’ve noticed, though, is that in those moments when I consider doing something crazy like writing a book, the outline itself seems sufficient instruction. If I were to title a chapter with something like, “Understanding Depth of Field,” what else is there to say except that the larger the aperture, the smaller the number, and the shorter the depth of field. There, done with that chapter. You’re welcome.

Okay, so I can BS my way through a thousand or so words on just about any topic, but is that really helpful when, if you want to improve your photography, you have to get out and shoot; that’s the only way anyone gets better. You can read all the damn books by all the “experts” in the world, but if your camera is not in your hand, if you’re not snapping regularly, if you’re not taking risks and trying things out differently, you’re not going to improve.

I’m no longer shooting anywhere near as often as I did four or five years ago and while I’m still not exactly “okay” with that, I’ve come to terms with the reality that my body hates me. We have a working relationship in that my body doesn’t especially like me working and lets me know when I’ve gone too far. Actually, if I could get more shoots in between 4-6 AM, we might be more productive, but there aren’t many people willing to shoot at that hour. Having plenty of time to step back and think, though, has allowed me to re-asses my philosophy of photography and make some changes.

Philosophies come and go and none of them are ever iron-clad; they’re circumstantial at best. Philosophies are based on a specific perspective to a specific reality and as both the perspectives and the realities change, so do the philosophies. As a result, philosophies held by other people are of limited value. Their perspective isn’t going to be the same as yours. The reality is not going to be identical to yours, even though you might share significant portions. Philosophies are valuable to other people only as guides in helping them establish their own.

I’ve held enough different philosophies of photography to fill a terabyte hard drive. Could I talk about each point at length? Yes, but I’m not sure what purpose that would serve. If you want how-to articles, there are plenty of those spanning different topics at Peta Pixel and PDN. Neither link is an endorsement, mind you, just two obvious resources. All I’m giving you are bullet points. Use the contact form if you have questions or hit me up on Facebook.

  • Photography is a means of communication. When you take a picture, you are saying something. When you share a photo, you are broadcasting a message. Think before you talk.
  • Photography is a visual language and just as we don’t all speak English we don’t all take photographs the same way. That’s good. Diversity opens all our minds.
  • Sometimes we have a lot of pictures to serve as our vocabulary, but we don’t always know how to put them together into cohesive communication. Learning to curate our photos before sharing them is important.
  • Just because someone else did it doesn’t mean you can, or should. Find your own distinct look and play to that.
  • Any camera that takes pictures is a good camera.
  • Every once in a while, stop what you’re doing and shoot dirt. Choose a common element, such as a tree or a dandelion, and find a way to make it interesting. Keep the creative juices flowing.
  • Don’t over-think any situation. Details can distract you from the creativity and artistry of the shot. Focus on the major elements and then shoot.
  • Shooting nudes is to photography what figure drawing is to a traditional art education: fundamental. To not study the human body is to be unprepared for shooting a clothed one.
  • Protecting the rights of photographers to shoot without interference is your responsibility, even if you never leave your own studio.
  • Beauty is built upon flaws. There is no such thing as the perfect photograph. Play to the quirks, the oddities, and the imperfections of a subject.
  • The world sees photography as a commodity. The only way to change their mind is to take pictures that are not common.
  • Photography has the ability to tell a harsh truth and that scares people. Don’t be afraid to take those pictures. Sometimes people need to be scared.
  • Censoring photography is like putting a gag in someone’s mouth. Just because someone doesn’t like the message doesn’t mean they have a right to control it.
  • Photographers own the rights to their pictures just like a speaker owns the rights to the words coming from their mouths. Limiting the rights to a photograph because of who is in it is like limiting the rights to a novel because of the words the author used. Stepping in front of a camera does not give anyone rights to that image.
  • Giving up rights to a photograph is a weakness.
  • Neither taking a photograph nor being in a photograph gives either side the right to bully the other.
  • Think with your eyes, see with your camera.
  • Criticizing photographs is a waste of time. When examining a photograph, there are but two questions: Did you capture what you wanted? What would you do differently? Everything else is a matter of one’s creative taste.
  • Saying one understands the whole of photography is like saying one understands every language in the world: you don’t. Photography is too broad, too complex, and too  individual in its details to be consumed as a whole.
  • One doesn’t need friends who limit one’s work. One needs friends who will stand/sit/lie naked in front of your camera while one searches for an angle.
  • The value of a photograph is not in the subject but in the photographer’s ability to tell the story of that subject in a single frame.
  • Just as mountains are millions of years old, there are an equal number of ways in which they can be photographed.
  • Light introduces us to a subject; shadows tell the story.
  • Morality in a photograph lies not in its content but only in the mind of the person viewing it.
  • To be jealous of someone else’s photography is to demonstrate the need for one’s own improvement.
  • Displaying a photograph in both color and black and white is like telling a story from two different perspectives; one is the three little pigs, the other is the wolf.
  • Technology and digital camera works open the field of photography to a whole new realm of exploration which we’ve not yet begun to understand.
  • Never share a picture that didn’t first make you feel something.

I’m going to stop there. I’ve probably already exceeded the point of interest for the vast majority of people. Philosophies become boring the longer one is forced to stare at them. Consider what your philosophy might be. You don’t need to write it down, just think about it then pick up the camera and start shooting.

Philosophies don’t take pictures. Photographers do.

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