#WhyIDidntGetIntoHeaven

Hashtag Philosophy  /  Mythology
#WhyIDidntGetIntoHeaven
March 13, 2016

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. —Mark Twain

 

charles i. letbetter - #WhyIDidn'tGetIntoHeaven

Concepts of Heaven and who gets in are quite subjective. Tossing belief systems aside, why would you not get in?

Having been raised in a Southern baptist church, concepts of Heaven and Hell were burned into my mind, or sometimes, the seat of my pants. Poppa would pull out the fire and brimstone about once a year; that was about all he could muster because he really wasn’t that kind of preacher. Heaven was a more frequent topic, and one much easier for him to discuss, but there was always that uncomfortable balance of not making everyone suicidal in their desire to get there. He was careful to not make Heaven sound so wonderful that someone might want to organize a bus trip right then and there.

Most every religion has its concept of some form of paradise in the afterlife. For some it is achieving a total state of Nirvana, for others it is becoming god of one’s own planet. There are mythologies by the hundreds and each has some form of immortal existence divided subjectively either between the good and the bad, or the believers and the heathen infidels. Those who are rooted firm in their faith are adamant that they’re going to the place of the divine and the rest of us are not.

But if we miss heaven, or paradise, or Nirvana, or whatever, it is not without cause; there has to be a reason. Even though the rules are highly subjective, again, based on one’s belief system, there are reasons one might not make it through those pearly gates. When I saw this morning that #WhyIDidntGetIntoHeaven was trending on Twitter, I just couldn’t resist seeing what wonderful excuses people had created for failing to meet St. Peter. Here are just a few samples:


(You might have to be as old as me to get that one)

That’s just a brief sample. As one might expect, there are some that are too profane even for my taste, and there are more than a few quoting Bible verses or sections of the Qu’ran or questioning the very existance of such a place. Those are the folks who don’t get the humor in a hashtag game such as this. The whole point is to momentarily toss theology in the garbage and not take ourselve, nor our religion, quite so seriously. No serious disrespect is meant, we’re just poking a little fun at mythologies whose subjectivity can be so incredibly broad and open to interpretation.

So, what would my reasons be for #WhyIDidntGetIntoHeaven? Some of the best excuses have been taken already, but we did come up with a few reasons. How could we not?

I should probably include something about the pictures at the top of this page, too, but that doesn’t make as much sense when one is reading from Twitter.

Again, this is just fun. If you didn’t check your self-rightesousness at the door I really have to question why you bothered reading at all.

Oh, and what was I listening to while writing this? You know my habit. After all, it is Sunday.

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