Any form of over-indulgence creates within the body warning signs of destruction. —Mother Angelica
Erg. Another Monday. Looking through social media this morning I can sense the fear and trepidation. Signs are everywhere. No one is looking forward to today. Some people could lose their jobs. Other people might lose more. While there’s no way to tell exactly what the day might hold, all the signs point toward this being a less than stellar day.
I like to think that what comes across my social media feeds is a pretty broad and reasonably accurate feeling for what is resonating across America. Obviously, I’m getting a lot of political material, but there are a lot of other things, from memes to articles to status updates, that give me a reasonable snapshot for the general mood of certain demographic sets. The signs this morning seem obvious: We’re doing everything wrong, or at least, we’re willing to believe we are.
Personally, I rather doubt that reality is quite as bleak as it is being presented. When shown a picture of a bright, sunshine-filled day, there are a lot of us that immediately start looking for what is in the shadows. We go looking for trouble even where there is none. We expect things to go poorly for us. In doing so, we miss the beauty of the whole picture.
However, we do have a tendency to really mess up a lot. Fortunately, a lot of people have written a lot of articles to help us correct our mistakes. Consider some of the gems I found this morning.
This Is How You Should Be Taking Care Of Your Lingerie
Spoiler alert: You’re washing your bras too damn often. The whole purpose of the article, published by Harpers Bazaar, Australe, is to convince their readers that they need to be a little more delicate with their delicates. Apparently, while women are really good about taking care of silk blouses and dresses, they don’t show the same concern for lingerie made from the same material. Instead, everything just gets dumped into the laundry, washed with harsh chemicals, and then one wonders why they wear out so frequently.
I really have to wonder about the whole bra washing thing, though. I’ve seen enough bras and caught hint of the fragrance that comes from them when one has been perspiring a bit. The smell is far from attractive. Sports bras, especially, which some people seem to think are fine to continue wearing after they’ve had their workout, have the ability to stink just as much as men’s athletic gear. Do you really want to let those things sit around a ripen before their washed?
I get it, the elastic materials do break down and wear out in the wash. However, doesn’t it totally defeat the purpose of looking nice if one doesn’t smell pleasant when someone gets close?
Women With Big Butts Are Smarter And Healthier
Wishful thinking. Check the source when you see articles like this. They tend to come from websites such as globetoday.com and terrificphotostoday.me. Notice that I’m not giving you links to either of those sites. Don’t go there. I know a lot of women would really like to believe that the mass of their buttocks has a correlation to the amount of brain power one has, but let’s get real: you know damn good and well that’s not true.
Don’t take my word for it, Snopes already disproved this one for you. Same goes for the one about drinking wine at night to lose weight. And the one about children inheriting their smarts from their mother. Sorry, it’s all just wishful thinking. We keep looking for shortcuts and they keep just not happening. One would think that by the time we reach adulthood, at least by the time we’re 30 or so, that we would have figured out that there is no easy way to lose weight or get smarter. Both require work. Yet, time after time we continue to fall for articles like this that offer some hope that maybe, just maybe, we can get away with our desire to emulate sloths.
If there’s one thing we learn from Monday after Monday it is the fact that we have to work for everything we get, and even when we work for it we don’t always get it. There are no shortcuts. Sorry.
Four Signs Your Relationship Is Headed To Its Doom
Because, yeah, that’s just the news you want first thing on a Monday morning. Are we really that desperate for bad news about our relationships or  are we just looking for ways to self-sabotage?  If you’re in a relationship and things seem to be going well, then why would you want to go looking for trouble? If your relationship is already not going well, do you really need more signs of the tragedy that awaits?
Articles like this exist for the sake of people who are fundamentally flawed and cannot accept the possibility that someone might actually care for them without having some ulterior motive. Â I’m not even sure that self-esteem counseling helps these people. They go through relationship after relationship, throwing away perfectly good people who would actually like to fall in love with them, but are jettisoned before they have the chance.
Here’s the real scoop:the number one sign that your relationship is headed to its doom is that you’re looking for signs your relationship is headed to its doom. Check your relationship paranoia and let someone love you.
10 Sex Positions That Will Get Her Off Every Time
I hate articles like this because they start from the premise that none of us really know what we’re doing in bed. Granted, every year yields a new crop of rookies and there are genuinely some people, specifically the most devout from any given sex-shaming religious group, who don’t have a fucking clue, literally. If the world really took relationships seriously, we’d be learning these things in school right about the time we’re losing our collective virginity. Heaven forbid we actually teach practical relationship skills anywhere, however. So, articles like this one continue to be popular.
Here’s the rub: everyone’s different. Want to know what will get your partner off every time? Talk to them. Find out what they like and what works for their body. You can’t trust what you read in an article because what feels great to one person might be downright painful for someone else. Blindly following the instructions of some how-to article you’ve read online can get you dumped out of bed before you even have time to unwrap that condom I’m sure you were planning on using.
Communication is a critical aspect of every relationship and the bedroom is no exception. Experimenting and trying different things is a lot of fun, but talk to your partner before actually attempting something new. The results will be better for both of you.
You Are Not As Helpless As You Think
The very reason all these articles and memes exist is because we doubt ourselves and our abilities. We don’t think we’re as smart as we are. We don’t think we’re as attractive as we are. What we read online and what we see in various media has us convinced that we are horribly flawed and need all the help we can possibly get. Look down your newsfeed this morning and one can easily come away with the impression that we’re all doing everything wrong.
Guess what: we’re not. Most of us are just fine, thank you very much. Those of us who do struggle are not nearly in as bad a shape as we tend to believe. So, stop doubting yourself. Think positive. Believe in what you can do.
And then duck because this is still Monday and the universe is out to get you.
Things That Make Me Want To Scream
I have yet to actually lift my head up and scream, but after yesterday’s staggering results I reserve the right to do so repeatedly
I had to take a break from my vain attempt to keep up with world reactions to yesterday’s disgusting election results. Not only have we elected the embodiment of hate to both the positions of President and Vice President, we have armed them with a Republican-controlled Congress and an increase in the number of Republican governors scattered across the nation. While I know that some see this as a good thing, for people of reasons this is a very dangerous event with global ramifications. However, I had to take a break.
You see, we have a dog. We recently put a fence around the entire yard so that the dog, who is a mix of hunting breeds, would have plenty of room to run without having to be on a leash. He loves it out there. The downside is that he tends to be a little aggressive toward anyone who isn’t me. While he’s never bitten anyone hard enough to break the skin, he does have an awesome takedown move. Once you’re down, he’s not letting you back up until I come to your rescue. So, I needed to put “Beware of Dog” signs out on the fence, just to be safe. This is part of being a reasonably responsible dog owner.
Given yesterday’s election results, I’m wondering if we might not do well to place a series of “Beware of Politicians” signs around our country to other countries, businesses, and would-be immigrants can be informed and take evasive action if necessary. Such a move would seem to be the responsible thing to do.
Beware Of Falling Economy
Not everyone had finished voting last night before the global markets started getting the jitters. When the Asian markets opened around 10:00 PM Tuesday evening, currency was what took the biggest hit as both the dollar and the Mexican peso suffered on the uncertainty that the election might introduce a slew of unknown factors to the market. Markets prefer to maintain the status quo. Disruption is met with negativity and values decline sharply as a result.
Among the biggest points that have global analysts screaming is the fear that the new President could embolden Iran’s hardliners. Â This could lead to further instability in the Middle East and might possibly threaten the fragile Iranian nuclear deal. Continued instability worries investors as the price and availability of energy resources, specifically oil, has the ability to immediately impact markets, driving costs well out of anticipated range with no warning.
At the same time, Wall Street economists are concerned that the new administration might make changes to the Federal Reserve that would remove its autonomy from political influence. Such changes would further erode trust in and the power of the Fed, which in turn could trigger yet another global recession. Stability, again, is what the markets need and the threat of significant change at the Fed could send much-needed investment funds looking elsewhere.
While we’re over-simplifying some very detailed topics, the screaming point is this new administration has absolutely zero experience in monetary policy and the President himself has a proven record of failed business dealings and bankruptcies that erode faith in his ability to appoint staff capable of keeping things calm and moving forward. Recession could hit quickly and painfully once he is in office.
Danger: War Is Knocking
The concerned was raised in Europe a couple of days before the election. The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO)Â put 300,000 ground troops on alert as fears of Russian aggression are growing significantly. The move represents a return to Cold War status for European NATO troops as Russian propaganda, a build-up of Russian forces along NATO borders, and aggression in places such as Syria remind long-memoried Europeans of the Soviet threat after World War II.
Now, add in that whole Iran nuclear deal thing, the situations in Syria, Afghanistan, Yemen, Egypt, and other hotspots, and mix those with campaign rhetoric that has threatened to not honor the NATO treaties while making friends with Russia’s Vladimir Putin, and one can see where our allies might not be feeling all that confident about our ability to keep the peace. In fact, there is more than a little worry that a shift in US policy might actually support Putin rather than trying to keep him and Russia in place.
All this comes on top of concerns about Daesh and Al Queda having possibly infiltrated the United States. As the father of an active-duty U.S. Marine, the proximity to war we now face has me worried not only for my safety but that of my son as well. Should something happen to him as the result of an unjust or politically-motivated war, I will not be forgiving.
Warning: Freedom of Expression At Risk
The back-stepping has already started. A number of news and media outlets did not take it easy on the Republican campaign. The Huffington Post even went so far as to include the following statement at the end of each article about our new President-elect:
“Editor’s note: Donald Trump regularly incites political violence and is a serial liar, rampant xenophobe, racist, misogynist and birther who has repeatedly pledged to ban all Muslims — 1.6 billion members of an entire religion — from entering the U.S.”
Care to guess what is being retracted today? HuffPo’s editors claim that their move is an effort to start the new Presidency with a “clean slate” and give him a chance. However, in a campaign that was filled with direct threats to members of the media, insults toward reporters, and a general lack of cooperation with and respect for the press, There aren’t too many people feeling as though criticizing the new President and/or his administration is going to be met with the usual denials and rebuttals. Just a few weeks ago, National Press Club president Thomas Burr criticized the Republican campaign for “journalist intimidation.” The insults and direct attacks against the news media and press have been unrelenting.
Now, the person at the heart of those attacks is, somehow, President-elect. Does anyone trust that the rough rhetoric of the campaign will just go away? Of course not! Instead, what we anticipate is a lack of journalistic access to the White House that we’ve not seen since the Nixon administration. Our reasonable fear is that anyone who dares to openly criticize the President might face a personal lawsuit, which, justified or not, no journalist can afford to fight.
We have fought long and hard for freedom of expression. The right of citizens to know everything their government is doing is inalienable. Without the press, a democracy quickly falls to a dictator. We are in grave danger.
Beware: Hate Is Claiming A Victory
This one may be what causes me to tear out my hair and do damage to my vocal cords. The instant media outlets declared that the Republican nominee had more than the required 270 electoral votes, former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard, David Duke, said, “Make no mistake about it, our people have played a HUGE role in electing Trump!” Never mind that the President-elect’s campaign officially distanced itself from the KKK and any other recognized hate group that tried to ride campaign coattails. No one ever believed those denials were sincere in the first place. Hate has always been standing right next to the Republican nominee as evidenced by his choice of running mates.
Of course, not all hate groups look like hate groups. The Washington Post ran an article this morning regarding the overwhelming role of specifically white evangelicals in electing the new President. They may not look like a hate group, but these are the people who have marginalized LGBTQ people for years. Evangelists such as Pat Robinson have vilified any and every Democrat they’ve come across. These are the same people who have spent the past eight years ridiculously attempting to accuse President Obama of being a Muslim. They are bigoted, homophobic, xenophobic, nationalistic, racist, and classist in the worst possible way.
Understand, none of these radicals may actually take an official seat in a cabinet post, but be sure that they are there, talking, advising the new President, and making sure that hate remains a part of the new administration’s agenda.
Who does this put at risk? Women. People of color. Immigrants. Children. The elderly. The poor. The homeless. Science. Reason. Our allies. The planet.
We have given power to the most ignorant, the most hateful, the most prejudiced, the most selfish, and the most diabolical group of people to ever set foot in our nation’s capitol. The dangers are very real. Ignore the warnings at your own peril.
I think we’re going to need more signs. And I still reserve the right to scream.
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