I almost dropped my coffee mug. That’s how today’s going. My left hand is so weak that I can’t lift the full mug with one hand. This is my third consecutive winter holiday season while on chemo. While the blood tests show the cancer in remission, there’s still the need to make sure it stays that way. So, for another year, I’m on the sidelines. No parties. No get-togethers. Hell, I haven’t even been able to get Kat a gift. I feel somewhat like I’m sitting inside a well-refrigerated snow globe, watching the holidays pass around me. They look like fun, but they’re not part of my reality.
The holidays are hitting differently, and by the way, for you ‘war-on-Christmas’ types, Hannukah and Christmas are on the same day this year. If you’re only saying ‘Merry Christmas,’ you’re being rude, possibly anti-Semitic. That being said, how does one gift-wrap a latke? I have potatoes, maybe I’ll give Kat food.
I’m not really in the mood to cook, though. Holiday baking is out of the question. Holiday treats take time, care, and patience. I have none of those traits at the moment. I also don’t have the ingredients. Not enough recipes come with sugar-free options and as much as I’m tempted to say, “It’s the holidays, fuck it,” my sugar levels haven’t been level so over-indulging probably isn’t the smartest move. Still, I’m really jonesing for some good, old-fashioned fudge—all the flavors. And Aunt Bill’s Brown Candy, Talk about a handbreaker! I remember helping Mother make this, it was always my favorite. The amount of work it takes, though, is enormous and if I can’t hold a coffee mug I damn sure don’t need to be messing with a cast iron skillet.
There are silver linings if one chooses to mine them. For example, there’s absolutely zero chance I’m going to be hurt or killed by a vehicle driving into a holiday bazaar. I won’t pull a hamstring while out running in a min-marathon somewhere. I’m not adversely affected by the sudden rise in egg prices. Life could be, and has been, much harder than it is.
Still, if what we’re looking for in this season is Peace on Earth, we’re not likely to find it around here. Get a load of the headlines this morning:
- Muncie man had 50+ child porn videos on phone
- Missing Alabama woman found dead in Indiana
- Woman killed in crash on Indy’s north side
- Family says bullying at school led to son’s suicide
- Person found dead after burglary call
- Video shows woman murdered in car
With headlines like that, you know there are too many tears being shed for anyone to have a ‘happy’ holiday. If you are someplace warm, you are fortunate. If you have food, you are well off. If you have clean clothes, you are privileged. If you have coffee, you are comparatively rich.
The plight of immigrants working dangerous food service jobs should probably be getting more attention than it is. We are so woefully ignorant of the millions of jobs filled by immigrants. If we begin deporting them, as the president-elect plans to do, the empty jobs will still be there. Who’s going to fill them? How much are you willing to pay for frozen pizza? People in Oregon are getting letters telling them to snitch on neighbors who ‘might’ be illegal. No, they’re not from any government organization. Snitching on immigrants is lower than cheating on a spouse, in my opinion.
Perhaps some form of holiday spirit will arrive without necessitating a visit from historical specters. I have cats aggressively reminding me that petting them lowers my blood pressure. The dogs are advocating for more naps. Can you wrap a nap? I could be a professional napper at this point. Need a nap? Don’t worry, I’ll take one for you!
Oh, with both Big Lots and Party City announcing that they’re closing, make sure you stock up on the cheap stuff if you can. I have a bad feeling about the future of ‘discount’ stores.
I think that’s enough for today. I hear there are football games running around here and there. Maybe I’ll find one.
Tuesday Morning Update:12/17/24
The first morning after is impossible. You wake up hoping it was all just a dream. The inevitable jolt of reality hits harder than it did yesterday. Denial is more difficult. The US is the most dangerous place in the world for going to school. Yes, bombs drop on people in Gaza. Schoolchildren in Ukraine have had to stop classes because of the danger. But those are areas of declared war. The enemy doesn’t know the names of the people they’re killing. Here, a boy stabs a girl to death as she walks to school. In Wisconsin, it’s an upset 15-year-old girl who kills another student and a teacher, then shoots several others before turning the gun on herself. And just like that, more families have joined the list of those waking up on what should be a school day and realizing that nothing’s ever going to be the same again.
There have been 323 shootings at K-12 schools in the country this year. Texas, Louisiana, and Maryland have the most. They range from small towns to large cities, both public schools and private. When our children leave for school each morning, we have no guarantee that they are safe. We jump when the phone rings and our heart drops when we see that it’s the school that’s calling. When you’re braced for the potential that something has happened to your child, them having a D in History class isn’t such a big deal anymore. You’re thankful that they’re still breathing.
The Associated Press released its list of ‘influential’ people who died this year. Of course, there’s always some old film star that passes during the last five days of the year, but the list is largely complete. You’re not on it and neither am I. Chances are pretty good that we never will be on one of those lists. What passes as being ‘influential’ does not mean that one is a good person. For many on that list, talent triumphed over character. There are no school shooting victims on the list. Apparently, our children are not ‘influential’ enough.
The kids are not okay. Tests show math skills are in decline. Whether you like math or not, this is important because math helps develop critical thinking skills. And while there are plenty of opinions about education, the fact remains that we’re letting the kids down in more ways than anyone can count. The curricula are insufficient. Arts programs that aid cognitive learning are non-existent. Over seven million students have Individual Education Plans (IEPs) for specific education needs. Their nutrition sucks. Each day 47 US students are diagnosed with cancer. And perhaps most insane of all, we’re actively debating the efficacy of the vaccines that have all but eliminated polio, smallpox, and many other childhood diseases. If we’re wilfully creating this environment for our kids, do we even love them at all? Do we care if they come home from school alive? Our actions and our words don’t match.
I have more years in the past than I do in the future. I probably won’t see the day when this year’s kindergarten class is running the country or the world. But then, that’s assuming that there’s still something to run. The world doesn’t need government if there are no people to govern.
The planet goes on spinning. A self-induced extinction event might help clear the air. Literally.
Tuesday coffee hits differently.
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