I almost dropped my coffee mug. That’s how today’s going. My left hand is so weak that I can’t lift the full mug with one hand. This is my third consecutive winter holiday season while on chemo. While the blood tests show the cancer in remission, there’s still the need to make sure it stays that way. So, for another year, I’m on the sidelines. No parties. No get-togethers. Hell, I haven’t even been able to get Kat a gift. I feel somewhat like I’m sitting inside a well-refrigerated snow globe, watching the holidays pass around me. They look like fun, but they’re not part of my reality.
The holidays are hitting differently, and by the way, for you ‘war-on-Christmas’ types, Hannukah and Christmas are on the same day this year. If you’re only saying ‘Merry Christmas,’ you’re being rude, possibly anti-Semitic. That being said, how does one gift-wrap a latke? I have potatoes, maybe I’ll give Kat food.
I’m not really in the mood to cook, though. Holiday baking is out of the question. Holiday treats take time, care, and patience. I have none of those traits at the moment. I also don’t have the ingredients. Not enough recipes come with sugar-free options and as much as I’m tempted to say, “It’s the holidays, fuck it,” my sugar levels haven’t been level so over-indulging probably isn’t the smartest move. Still, I’m really jonesing for some good, old-fashioned fudge—all the flavors. And Aunt Bill’s Brown Candy, Talk about a handbreaker! I remember helping Mother make this, it was always my favorite. The amount of work it takes, though, is enormous and if I can’t hold a coffee mug I damn sure don’t need to be messing with a cast iron skillet.
There are silver linings if one chooses to mine them. For example, there’s absolutely zero chance I’m going to be hurt or killed by a vehicle driving into a holiday bazaar. I won’t pull a hamstring while out running in a min-marathon somewhere. I’m not adversely affected by the sudden rise in egg prices. Life could be, and has been, much harder than it is.
Still, if what we’re looking for in this season is Peace on Earth, we’re not likely to find it around here. Get a load of the headlines this morning:
- Muncie man had 50+ child porn videos on phone
- Missing Alabama woman found dead in Indiana
- Woman killed in crash on Indy’s north side
- Family says bullying at school led to son’s suicide
- Person found dead after burglary call
- Video shows woman murdered in car
With headlines like that, you know there are too many tears being shed for anyone to have a ‘happy’ holiday. If you are someplace warm, you are fortunate. If you have food, you are well off. If you have clean clothes, you are privileged. If you have coffee, you are comparatively rich.
The plight of immigrants working dangerous food service jobs should probably be getting more attention than it is. We are so woefully ignorant of the millions of jobs filled by immigrants. If we begin deporting them, as the president-elect plans to do, the empty jobs will still be there. Who’s going to fill them? How much are you willing to pay for frozen pizza? People in Oregon are getting letters telling them to snitch on neighbors who ‘might’ be illegal. No, they’re not from any government organization. Snitching on immigrants is lower than cheating on a spouse, in my opinion.
Perhaps some form of holiday spirit will arrive without necessitating a visit from historical specters. I have cats aggressively reminding me that petting them lowers my blood pressure. The dogs are advocating for more naps. Can you wrap a nap? I could be a professional napper at this point. Need a nap? Don’t worry, I’ll take one for you!
Oh, with both Big Lots and Party City announcing that they’re closing, make sure you stock up on the cheap stuff if you can. I have a bad feeling about the future of ‘discount’ stores.
I think that’s enough for today. I hear there are football games running around here and there. Maybe I’ll find one.
Monday Morning Update: 12/09/24
Monday morning, crisis check. Thinking back to the brief time I spent in the C suite, Monday morning came with a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. Reports were gathered. Metrics were checked. Progress factored. We met at 11:00 over lunch. Numbers were totaled. Projections confirmed. Consequences addressed. The staff would be told on Tuesday.
Were I to perform the same checks and balances on the world this morning, the results would show that we have a crisis; specifically, a crisis of leadership. The United States. Syria. South Korea. Europe. Israel. Haiti. The planet. The compiled bullet points for the presentation would be:
Try choking that down with a dry sandwich and a weak soda. Pass the Scotch.
We have walked ourselves into a global oligarchy run by billionaires. Billionaires are inherently corrupt and bad governors. They cannot comprehend your concerns. Looking at the world through charts and graphs, they don’t see how their policies affect lives outside their elite peer group. When challenged, their defense is, “You voted for this.”
I see little stomach for protests. In his essay “A Poem of Difficult Hope,” which appears in his book “What Are People For,” Kentucky naturalist Wendell Berry argues that the success of any protest should not be measured by whether it changes the world in the way we hope it will.
“Much protest is naïve; it expects quick, visible improvement and despairs and gives up when such improvement does not come,” he wrote in 1990. “If protest depended on success, there would be little protest of any durability or significance. History simply affords too little evidence that anyone’s individual protest is of any use. Protest that endures, I think, is moved by a hope far more modest than that of public success: namely, the hope of preserving qualities in one’s own heart and spirit that would be destroyed by acquiescence.”
I’m not sure I buy this “save yourself” attitude. Others are. There are no massive marches planned. My newsfeed and emails all say, “We’re going to fight them in court.” What good is that if the courts themselves are corrupted? Have you looked at the Supreme Court lately?
What oligarchs understand is money. Finance is where the battle is fought. Switching investments from the stock market to bonds could offset bad economic plans. Organized national work stoppages, like those being utilized by VW workers in Germany, cause oligarchs to panic. We hold power that we’ve yet to test. Senate confirms a bad appointee? We don’t work the next day. Just one day. Tariffs cause prices to skyrocket? We stop buying. Just one week. The effects would be immediate and stunning.
Having the power doesn’t mean we have the will. Can we tell ourselves ‘no?’ Can we hold back on our holiday spending? Can we stay home instead of eating out? Can we cook instead of ordering takeout? Can we make last year’s coats and sweaters last another season? Can we put off buying a newer vehicle?
As I’m typing, I received an alert from my bank. Overdraft -$65. Not buying just got very easy. There are no presents to hand out. The food that we have will last until January. We will endure. Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter. CashApp: $ciletbetter.
No crisis comes with an easy or painless solution. Progress requires more than sheer determination. Tell me when you’re ready to proceed. You’ll find me at the coffee pot.
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