Dipping The News In 40-Grade Sarcasm
https://youtu.be/va_hRRbJvP8
Welcome to hump day, where the Midwest hopes its collective ass doesn’t freeze off and folks in the Northeast are checking out igloo design plans. It’s cold outside but the news is hot. So hot, in fact, that we’re avoiding talking about Aleppo because the situation there is changing so quickly this morning that anything we say about it is going to be wrong 30 minutes later. Actor Alan Thicke, the dad on Growing Pains died, by the way. And the whole Russian hacking thing is downright spooky.
We’re not talking about those things this morning, though. Why? Because people are stupid and we have to guard against stupid people before they ruin everyone’s lives, especially when the stupidity reaches the higher levels of government. We normally wouldn’t disparage our leaders quite to this degree, but what they’ve done in the past 24 hours is a bit over the top.
We start this morning talking about babies.
1. Country girls need to sober up
Once upon a time, the stereotype of a country girl was that she was sweet, innocent, and hard working. Well, you can just put that characterization on the shelf because it’s much more likely that she’s drugged out of her fucking mind, doesn’t know what she’s doing, and her baby is paying for her choices. Urban women are having much healthier babies and it’s not necessarily because they have access to better healthcare.
What’s going on? Research published Monday shows that the rate of drug-dependent babies has jumped a whopping 80 percent in rural counties since 2004.1 Increased opioid use, which is an increasing problem nationwide, is largely to blame. Addicted mothers are more likely to spend what little money they have on drugs. They’re less likely to work and less likely to receive a sufficient level of prenatal care because of their drug use.
Pediatricians are talking about something called “Neonatal abstinence syndrome,” which typically occurs while the fetus is still in the uterus. Newborns not only suffer from dangerously low birth weights, but also tend to have seizures, fever, and tremors. Doctors are having to use methadone on babies, tiny little newborn babies, in order to wean them off the fucking drugs!
On what planet is this situation acceptable? Don’t look to the government for help. Congressional Republicans can’t cut funding for health care fast enough. Even if they did keep funding in place, government policies on drug use and abuse have been misplaced for over 30 years. They don’t know what they’re doing. We need a better drug policy quickly before our infant mortality rate starts to resemble that of a third world country.
2. Getting Government Out Of The Womb
I am absolutely shocked at the number of stories popping up this week regarding abortion and a woman’s choice. Just in case you’ve never met me, let me be very clear on where I stand: if you’re not a woman capable of having children, you just need to keep your fucking mouth shut. You don’t get an opinion, you don’t get a voice, because it’s none of your fucking business. Government, especially, has absolutely no business dictating when, where, or under what conditions a woman should or should not have a baby. This is a woman’s choice and any interference with that choice is wrong.
Yet, state legislatures especially just keep tossing abortion laws up there and getting them knocked back down by federal courts. Yesterday, Ohio Governor and former presidential candidate John Kasich had two such bills on his desk. One was the controversial “heartbeat” bill that would have outlawed abortion as soon as a heartbeat was detectable, as early as six weeks. He vetoed that one, which was exactly what he should have done. However, before you go giving the governor a pat on the back, you should know that he signed a 20-week abortion bill, furthering the war on women and their bodies2.
In Oklahoma yesterday, the state supreme court tossed a law requiring abortion clinics to have doctors with admitting privileges at nearby hospitals3. This is good news, though I can promise you there aren’t that many abortion clinics in Oklahoma to begin with. Still, a win is a win, right? Hold on. At the exact same time, the state’s Department of Health says it’s considering new regulations that would force hospitals, nursing homes, restaurants and public schools to post signs inside public restrooms with information about abortion alternatives4. The signs would read:
There are many public and private agencies willing and able to help you carry your child to term and assist you and your child after your child is born, whether you choose to keep your child or to place him or her for adoption. The State of Oklahoma strongly urges you to contact them if you are pregnant.
We have a six-year-old in our house who is in first grade and catching on to reading rather quickly. She reads everything, especially signs. Do I want her going into the restroom at a pizza place and seeing that sign? Hell no!
Not only that, the agency isn’t providing any funding for the signs. Those hospitals, nursing homes, restaurants, and schools are going to have to pay for those signs out of their own pocket. If the signs aren’t there, it is a health code violation and the facility can be fined or possibly even closed.
I have to stop my rant here because I’m out of time, but this is one of the most stupid things I’ve ever seen Oklahoma do, and trust me, I’ve seen them do some really stupid things in the past few years.
3. The Poor Don’t Get To Retire
One of the things the Department of Labor has been touting over the past year has been the reduction in the unemployment rate since the Obama administration took office in 2009. Statistics for the month of November show unemployment continues to decrease, falling to 4.6 percent5. However, what’s buried deep in those statistics is an alarming fact that 18.3 percent of the workforce is part-time. That particular little stat has only dropped less than two percent, from 20.1, since 2010. Sure, people have jobs, but they’re making shit wages and having to run from one job to another just to make ends meet.
There are many downsides to part-time employment, but long-term one of the biggest disadvantages is that these people typically don’t get benefits. They don’t have access to any kind of an employer-sponsored 401K or any other retirement plan. And even if they did have access to those plans, they wouldn’t have enough expendable income to be able to participate. We’re talking about people who already make so little money they have to worry about keeping the lights on, the kids fed, and a roof over their heads.
Sure, they’re paying into Social Security, but Republicans in Congress are doing everything they can to steal that money from us. Just yesterday, the Associated Press reported that Rep. Sam Johnson of Texas, the chairman of the House Ways and Means subcommittee on Social Security, introduced a bill that would raise the retirement age and decrease benefits for a large number of seniors6. Congress seems to routinely forget that Social Security is not an entitlement program. Social Security is money we paid into the system with every freakin’ paycheck we’ve ever earned. We deserve every last dime of it, with interest.
This is yet another sign of how completely blind Congress is to the needs of the poor. Why we keep electing the bastards I don’t know.
4. Don’t Light That Candle
Candles are big business this time of year with all the holiday decorations and everything, but if you recently purchased one from the Yankee Candle Company, you might want to take it back before you risk lighting the thing. The candle company has announced a recall of some 31,000 candles due to what it calls a “laceration hazard7.” Apparently, when one lights the candle the glass around it breaks.
Now, before you go snatching up every candle in the house, you should know that the recall only applies to a select group of candles sold between September and November of this year. However, you won’t find any mention of the recall on their website. Nowhere. We looked. And while the whole “laceration hazard” thing sounds really dangerous, no one has actually been hurt. The candles don’t shatter, they crack.
While we don’t want to question the authenticity of the recall, the way Yankee Candle is handling it makes it look more like a stunt to get people back into their stores before the holidays. You go to return the candle, and not only do you get a replacement, you’re likely to pick up two or three more while you’re there. Maybe it’s just me, but this has a shady feel to it that dampens my holiday spirit (as if I actually had any).
5. And Finally …
Wonder Woman has gotten the boot from the United Nations8. The 75-year-old comic book character was presented back in October as the UN’s honorary ambassador for the empowerment of women and girls. However, there were a lot of people who didn’t exactly agree with that move. On one hand, the UN was giving a dominant voice to a character owned by a for-profit company, as it so happens, has a movie about this very character coming out in the near future. There seemed to be some ethics blurring here. Others, to no one’s surprise, were upset because of how they view Wonder Woman’s costume, which we might kindly refer to as “voluptuous.” Let’s be honest, there have been a lot of adolescent boys over the years who had wet dreams about having a Wonder Woman in their lives. Freud would have a field day.
The problem with the sudden dismissal of Wonder Woman from her honorary position is that it reeks of body shaming. Wonder Woman is too curvy, her outfit is too revealing, and therefore she is unfit to be an example for women and girls.
Bullshit. The real problem people have, and have always had, with Wonder Woman is that she’s a strong, independent female who defies the norms and kicks the boys’ asses on a regular basis. Wonder Woman doesn’t give a shit what you think about her body or how she chooses to dress, and that bothers a lot of people, especially men who happen to dominate the UN. Just how afraid are men at the UN afraid of women? In the recent search for a new Secretary General, the UN bypassed seven, count ’em, seven women, who were fully qualified and settled, once again, on a man.
Maybe pairing with a character from a for-profit company wasn’t the greatest of ideas, but the world needs to get over this fear of strong women, or any woman for that matter. Stop perpetuating the myth that attractive women aren’t as intelligent or as worthy or as strong as anyone else. We have to be better than that.
And with that, we’re out of time for today. There is still so very much more that I could probably continue for another 30 minutes. Be careful where you get your information, though. We’ve seen a lot of fake news in this cycle as well. Watch your sources. Stay warm out there and have a good day.
5 Things You Should Know: 12/19/2016
12/19/2016 06:00:43
https://youtu.be/w96bFSw_rpA
A Monday by any other name
It’s Monday and I hope you’re staying warm. The temperature outside is all of one degree Fahrenheit as we look at the world this morning. Most of the nation is going to stay in the ice box for the greater part of the week with some hope for a warm up just in time for the weekend.
Our Muslim friends are celebrating the prophet’s birthday today and for everyone else, the number of shopping days continues to dwindle, especially if you’re ordering anything online. The water is back on in Corpus Cristi this morning, but the good news ends there, I’m afraid. We’ve certified five things you need to know for today, so let’s get to it.
And The Winner Is …
The big day is finally here. In all 50 states and the District of Columbia, the Electoral College meets today to put it’s rubber stamp on the United States presidential election. While Hilary Clinton won the popular count by nearly three million votes, Donald Trump took the electoral count sufficiently enough for there to not be any real conflict. While protests are planned for several state capitols1, quite honestly folks, you’re better off staying inside where it’s nice and warm. You’re not going to change anything.
The Associated Press polled electors yesterday and confirmed that all the emails and letters have not had any effect in changing most elector’s votes.
Wirt A. Yerger Jr., a Republican elector in Mississippi, said, “I have gotten several thousand emails asking me not to vote for Trump. I threw them all away.”
It would take over 70 electors changing their vote for there to be any variance in the outcome. This was the balance the founding fathers wrote into the Constitution2. Republican elector Mary Sue MccClurkin from Alabama told the AP: “Our Founding Fathers established the Electoral College because those larger states, those larger areas, don’t necessarily need to be the ones that rule.”
Across the country, Mrs. Clinton won the predominantly urban areas while Mr. Trump swept the rural areas and small towns.
Even when today’s vote is done, however, the election is still not over! Congress must meet in joint session on January 6 to certify the vote of the Electoral College. Our founding fathers wanted to make extra certain there was no hanky panky going on.
Trying to escape Aleppo
The horrendous story of Aleppo, Syria continues this morning, long after this horrible chapter should already have been closed. The latest reports we have from the Associated Press3 and Reuters4 say that evacuations are under way this morning after buses were set on fire yesterday, blocking the evacuation of several thousand. Today’s evacuation, which is the last under this very shaky cease-fire, is set to happen in three phases with 1,250 people in each of the first two sets, and the remaining 1,500 in the third.
The United Nations Security Council is expected to vote this morning, deploying U.N. monitors to Aleppo immediately in order to prevent what France has warned could be “mass atrocities” by Syrian forces and allied pro-government militias as they assume control. There are still several thousand people attempting to live in what was once Syria’s largest city. With all the cruelty and genocide we’ve seen over the past several months, the safety of those few remaining is of grave concern.
Of course, this opens questions as to where the civil war might move next. While the battle for Aleppo is ending, the war against Assad-controlled government forces is not and likely won’t be ending any time in the next year. As horrible as this war has been, there is still every chance it could get worse.
Terror at the Castle
Our next story reads almost like the script of an action adventure movie, but unfortunately, it’s all too real. Crusader castle in Karak, Jordan is an extremely popular tourist destination. Built in the 12 century by, you guessed it, Christian crusaders on their way to liberate Jerusalem, the castle was part of a chain built across this region that was once the ancient kingdom of Moab. Tourism in the area is strong and typically does not see much violence.
However, that all changed yesterday as four gunmen took a group of tourists hostage and began shooting at security forces5. There aren’t a lot of details other than the fact that the resolution took several hours. In the end, all four gunmen were killed, but so were seven police officers and three tourists, including a Canadian woman. The site is understandably closed this morning as Jordanian security officials try to piece together exactly what happened.
No one has claimed direct responsibility for the attack as of yet, but the Associated Press6 notes that violence against tourist areas in Jordan has increased with the rise of Islamic State terrorists in neighboring Iran and Syria.
Death of a Legend
The woman who likely coined the phrase, “famous for being famous,” Zsa Zsa Gabor, died yesterday at her home in Beverly Hills7. She was 99, just two months shy of her 100th birthday. Ms. Gabor was one of three sisters, born in Hungary, all of whom made their way to the United States in the 1940s. Eva came first, making a big splash on the big screen. Zsa Zsa came next and tried her hand at Hollywood as well, but turned out to not be the actress or singer that her sister was. Instead, Ms. Gabor became famous for simply being herself, a social icon who married often, flaunted her wealth, and sported a fierce temper.
Zsa Zsa Gabor was known for standing out at a time when most women were expected to be little more than decoration8. She not only spoke her mind, but she made sure people heard her when she spoke. Ms. Gabor has arguably been credited, or blamed, for creating the template for those like the Kim Kardashians or Paris Hiltons of the world who become famous without actually doing anything of value. In fact, Ms. Gabor was married for a time to Conrad Hilton, Paris Hilton’s great- grandfather.
Ultimately, though, age took its toll. Ms. Gabor has spent the past five years in her Beverly Hills mansion9, suffering from dementia, stroke, and complications from hip replacement surgery, being fed through tubes. In the end, she might not have known who nor how famous she was, but the rest of the world does and remembers her fondly.
And finally …
There is one piece of good news this morning, as National Geographic Magazine revealed that a nine-year-old transgender girl, Avery Jackson of Kansas City, will be on the cover of the magazine’s January issue. Miss Jackson is the first transgender person to grace the cover of the storied magazine and does so as National Geographic devotes an entire issue to changing opinions about gender both in terms of science and public perception.
Robin Marantz Henig writes in the magazine that we are surrounded by “evolving notions about what it means to be a woman or a man and the meanings of transgender, cisgender, gender nonconforming, genderqueer, agender, or any of the more than 50 terms Facebook offers users for their profiles. At the same time, scientists are uncovering new complexities in the biological understanding of sex. Many of us learned in high school biology that sex chromosomes determine a baby’s sex, full stop: XX means it’s a girl; XY means it’s a boy. But on occasion, XX and XY don’t tell the whole story.”
While there has been some criticism, Susan Goldberg, editor-in-chief for National Geographic, says in defense of the issue, “Today, we’re not only talking about gender roles for boys and girls—we’re talking about our evolving understanding of people on the gender spectrum.”
Personally, we applaud National Geographic for taking such a visible stand on gender issues and especially for giving trans people this level of visibility. Hopefully, this facilitates positive conversations and a greater level of understanding.
That’s all we have time to talk about this morning. I’m sure there will be plenty happening today and we’ll do our best to stay on top of everything and bring you the five most important stories you need to know again tomorrow. Thank you for subscribing. By all means, stay warm. Good day.
Share this:
Like this: