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Days Of Importance
March 21, 2016
charles i. letbetter - days of importance

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. —Dalai Lama

 

charles i. letbetter - days of importance

There are always celebrations of some kind for every day of the calendar, but a few are actually important

There is something on the calendar for every day of the year, no matter where one lives or what one does. Someone is always celebrating something. For example, today, March 21, is Single Parent’s Day. I’m sure we all know a few single parents who could use a world of encouragement, or maybe a babysitter for three or four hours. Today is also Memory Day, Common Courtesy Day, World Down Syndrome Day, and French Bread Day. Just so you’ll be prepared, tomorrow is National Goof-Off Day; you may want to adjust your plans accordingly.

With so many different days of recognition, it is sometimes difficult to know which ones are truly important versus those that are just rather silly things to toss into a calendar somewhere. I’m not sure exactly what one is supposed to do with French Bread Day, for example, beyond the obvious: Have a baguette. However, there are some days when, especially in the realms of advertising and marketing, the opportunities are great as long as we don’t miss them.

Case in point: Today is Twitter’s 10-year anniversary. They’ve celebrated with this video full of moments when tweeting mattered.

Celebrating the anniversary of a social media platform may not seem like all that big a deal, but be certain that any message sent with the #LoveTwitter hashtag is going to get thousands, and quite possibly millions of views. Attaching the hashtag to your tweet, which could include a link back to your website or a product page, has the same potential as a general piece of direct mail. And while we tend to think of tweets as time sensitive, it’s not unusual to get likes and retweets and click-throughs on tweets that are several months old. So, while it may seem on one level that celebrating Twitter’s birthday is a bit shallow, it can potentially be a powerful marketing tool.

At the same time, however, acknowledging special days also gives one the opportunity to align with global causes and charities as a way of showing involvement in one’s community and opens the door for making a broader impact. For example, today is also #HumanRightsDay around the world. Human rights represents a struggle that extends from the farthest reaches of the globe to our own backyard. Gender rights. Race issues. Immigration. Child labor. Hunger. Disease. Anything that involves people, any place where the playing field is not totally even, human rights comes into play.

Not only does participating in Human Rights Day allow others to see that you or your company cares about the condition of people around the world, not participating in such an event also says that one doesn’t care, which can develop into a PR nightmare. Show how diverse your workforce is. Highlight ways in which your company addresses matters related to human rights in a positive fashion. Even better, actually get your employees together and do something, such as such as organizing a clean water drive or volunteering at a homeless shelter as a demonstration of your commitment to human rights.  Use Periscope or Snapchat to broadcast your activity so people can see you’re not just a lot of marketing hot air. Being in touch and participating in days like this is increasingly important in employee and customer retention. People need to know you’re not just out for a quick profit.

Then, you might also want to consider celebrating #WorldPoetryDay both on a personal and professional basis. World Poetry Day was established by UNESCO to, “to support linguistic diversity through poetic expression and to offer endangered languages the opportunity to be heard within their communities.” Poetry is such an incredibly important part of how we communicate, how we express ourselves, that to not celebrate poetry is to ignore one of the most fundamental aspects of free speech. I especially love this quote from Irina Bokova, Director-General of UNESCO:

By paying tribute to the men and women whose only instrument is free speech, who imagine and act, UNESCO recognizes in poetry its value as a symbol of the human spirit’s creativity. By giving form and words to that which has none – such as the unfathomable beauty that surrounds us, the immense suffering and misery of the world – poetry contributes to the expansion of our common humanity, helping to increase its strength, solidarity, and self-awareness.

World Poetry Day is more than just a marketing opportunity. This is a time to celebrate the diversity of language and communication. Poetry is more than just the careful construction of verse, but a key element in the very construct of our civilization. To ignore poetry is itself a form of illiteracy. This is one of those days we should not only celebrate for ourselves, but encourage everyone around us to do so as well, not simply for the literary exercise, but for the betterment of our whole society.

Days like today are important. When we exist at a time where turmoil is ever present, where unrest is a daily reality, where tragedy stands waiting on every street corner in even the most quiet of neighborhoods, we need days like this where we can embrace something good, something positive. Days like today don’t require one to embrace a religious ideology or a political point of view. Days like today simply require us to be human, to embrace ourselves and each other as common survivors of a world in chaos.

We need days like today, you and I. Don’t miss out.

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Hashtag Philosophy  /  Mythology
#WhyIDidntGetIntoHeaven
March 13, 2016

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. —Mark Twain

 

charles i. letbetter - #WhyIDidn'tGetIntoHeaven

Concepts of Heaven and who gets in are quite subjective. Tossing belief systems aside, why would you not get in?

Having been raised in a Southern baptist church, concepts of Heaven and Hell were burned into my mind, or sometimes, the seat of my pants. Poppa would pull out the fire and brimstone about once a year; that was about all he could muster because he really wasn’t that kind of preacher. Heaven was a more frequent topic, and one much easier for him to discuss, but there was always that uncomfortable balance of not making everyone suicidal in their desire to get there. He was careful to not make Heaven sound so wonderful that someone might want to organize a bus trip right then and there.

Most every religion has its concept of some form of paradise in the afterlife. For some it is achieving a total state of Nirvana, for others it is becoming god of one’s own planet. There are mythologies by the hundreds and each has some form of immortal existence divided subjectively either between the good and the bad, or the believers and the heathen infidels. Those who are rooted firm in their faith are adamant that they’re going to the place of the divine and the rest of us are not.

But if we miss heaven, or paradise, or Nirvana, or whatever, it is not without cause; there has to be a reason. Even though the rules are highly subjective, again, based on one’s belief system, there are reasons one might not make it through those pearly gates. When I saw this morning that #WhyIDidntGetIntoHeaven was trending on Twitter, I just couldn’t resist seeing what wonderful excuses people had created for failing to meet St. Peter. Here are just a few samples:


(You might have to be as old as me to get that one)

That’s just a brief sample. As one might expect, there are some that are too profane even for my taste, and there are more than a few quoting Bible verses or sections of the Qu’ran or questioning the very existance of such a place. Those are the folks who don’t get the humor in a hashtag game such as this. The whole point is to momentarily toss theology in the garbage and not take ourselve, nor our religion, quite so seriously. No serious disrespect is meant, we’re just poking a little fun at mythologies whose subjectivity can be so incredibly broad and open to interpretation.

So, what would my reasons be for #WhyIDidntGetIntoHeaven? Some of the best excuses have been taken already, but we did come up with a few reasons. How could we not?

I should probably include something about the pictures at the top of this page, too, but that doesn’t make as much sense when one is reading from Twitter.

Again, this is just fun. If you didn’t check your self-rightesousness at the door I really have to question why you bothered reading at all.

Oh, and what was I listening to while writing this? You know my habit. After all, it is Sunday.

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Advertising
Bucking Trends: Our 5 Favorite Super Bowl Ads
February 8, 2016
charles i. letbetter - bucking trends

The trends that last and the trends that are relevant are the ones that make you look pretty.—Aerin Lauder

 

charles i. letbetter - bucking trends

There are times when a popular response and ad trackers can’t be trusted; this is one of them.

Whew, I am so very happy the Super Bowl is over if for no other reason than it’s likely to take a week for my indigestion to die down. There is still wing residue on my keyboard this morning and the over-abundance of dip and chips tells me what the kids will have for afterschool snacks this week. With some wacky weather moving in later this morning, it will be nice to talk about something else, once we tidy up a few loose ends around here.

Super Bowl ad watching has become just as much a part of the event as the football game itself. Some years, it’s been more exciting than the game, and let’s be honest, there were moments during the third and start of the fourth quarter when we might not have minded a few more ads to break the monotony of three-downs-and-punt. There were, as always, some very good ads, some horrible ads, and some that didn’t get the attention they deserve. There are also several rankings of the ads this morning. AdWeek and USAToday’s AdMeter are two decent lists if you’re interested. A lot of people look at Twitter response as well, but that can hardly be considered accurate, especially after half-way through the second quarter when a good portion of those tweeting are clearly drunk.

I’m going with a slightly different ranking system from what others use. Since we saw the vast majority of commercials before the game, what I found interesting was how some commercials actually felt different when viewed during the game than watching them cold beforehand. I was more likely to be entertained by an ad after one of the three touchdowns than one during the third quarter when the game fell into a rut. Reactions of friends also influenced my opinion, as happens for everyone. People viewing ads as a group almost always score them differently than when watching them alone. Overall, I was less entertained by the humor and more struck by the emotional ads. Let’s take a look at my top five:

Doritos, ‘Ultrasound’

Reaction to this one likely depends upon one’s age, whether one has children, and whether one was n a group when it came on. Kat and I had very different reactions. I thought it was hilarious. She thought it was a bit gross. We were both thankful the children were already in bed. This was the last of the Doritos “Crash The Super Bowl” contests, though, and one gets the feeling that no one was quite  as enthused about it this year as with previous games. Given a choice between this one and the dogs, this is the clear winner.

https://youtu.be/vH2LsFcWOFY

Kia, ‘Walken Closet’

I still have questions about this one, including whether the dude in the tan suit is driving that care barefoot. Christopher Walken makes an excellent case for a car I probably wouldn’t otherwise consider, though, and that’s what Kia needed. The fourth-quarter ad really helps them stand out from all the other automobile ads in the game and came late enough, when people were actually paying attention, that they might stand a chance of remembering the ad when they pass a Kia dealership on the way to work this morning. The add didn’t hit the trends hard, but it works.

https://youtu.be/9r0FrXXKeiA

NFL, ‘Super Bowl Babies Choir’

I fear the NFL may have shot themselves in the foot a bit with how they teased this one in five-second spots throughout the game. By the time the 60-second version showed up late in the fourth quarter, it felt as though we’d already seen it before and I have a feeling a lot of folks just weren’t paying attention so it completely missed the trends. Millennials without children didn’t seem to get the concept at all, which is not new. Still, the commercial is probably one of the few times the NFL has actually made me smile this season. The little ones are cute. Seal doing a parody of his own song is hilarious. And you know damn good and well there are going to be some babies in Denver come October.

Hyundai, ‘First Date’

Those of you with daughters understand. Actually, anyone with teenagers of driving age understands. The tracking technology built into this car has many potential uses. Live in a high crime rate area? Catch a car thief with this tracker. Suspect that someone’s not where they say they are? Follow up on them. There’s a potential creepy element here because if that thing is using GPS to do the tracking, then it can be hacked. Hello, stalker alert! Still, there’s not a dad alive who doesn’t want to send a message to the guy dating his daughter. This was funny.

https://youtu.be/-R_483zeVF8

Jeep, ‘Portraits’

Hands down, my favorite of the game. That may well be a reflection of my age, though. While the ad trends really well with the Baby Boomers of my generation, it resonated less with younger generations. Millennials didn’t get many of the references, some of which were a bit of a stretch in the first place. There are dangers to reaching too far back into history and the ad flirts with that line but doesn’t quite cross it. AdWeek has a nice article on the relationship between the faces and the vehicle, in case you missed a few. The ad touches on the nostalgia of the vehicle and its universal reliance as a vehicle that gets one through the rough patches. I’ve always wanted a Jeep and this ad really stoked that fire. Too bad I can’t drive.

https://youtu.be/wKn5K5V7tRo

There were some major disappointments along the way, too. The Coca-Cola ad with Marvel’s Hulk? Not a winner. Butterfingers big reveal? A complete letdown. Taco Bell’s new product? More of the same, just given a silly name. Perhaps most disappointing was the complete strike-out by all the Budweiser brands. When they’ve done so much better, this year’s crop fell well short of the standard.

But we’re done with them now. Hooray! Just in time to make fun of the gooey Valentine’s Day commercials!

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Music
Ethics Are A Real Thing, Bey
February 7, 2016
charles i. letbetter - ethics are a real thing, bey

Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do.—Potter Stewart

 

charles i. letbetter - ethics are a thing, Bey

Being a big star can get you a lot of leeway, but there are some lines no one has a right to cross

There’s little question that Beyoncé is one of the biggest stars on the music scene today, and when she hits the stage during the halftime of today’s Super Bowl crowds will scream and yell, forgetting the horror of Coldplay that they’ve had to sit through first. In addition to being a fantastic musician, Beyoncé is also a brilliant marketer. Last night, less than 24 hour before the Super Bowl halftime show, she released her new music video, Formation, which immediately set the Internet on fire, zooming to the top of both Billboard and iTunes hot charts. #Formation is still trending on Twitter and probably will continue to do so through the day.

There’s just one problem: The video makes heavy use of documentary footage from the documentary, That B.E.A.T., by Abteen Bahgeri and Chris Black. Chrisk Black was quick to lash out on Twitter:

Later, Entertainment Weekly publishes this statement supposedly from Queen Bey’s representative:

“The documentary footage was used with permission and licensed from the owner of the footage. They were given proper compensation. The footage was provided to us by the filmmaker’s production company. The filmmaker is listed in the credits for additional photography direction. We are thankful that they granted us permission .”

So, everything’s cool, right? Permission was granted, rights were secured, etc.

Well, hold on. If rights and permission were secured in advance, how did the filmmakers not know that? Yes, their names are in the credits, which had to have been added before the video was uploaded, but how is it even possible that the people who created the documentary wouldn’t know those things?

This comes on the heels of another dustup concerning the Coldplay video featuring Beyoncé  Hymn For The Weekend,  which was released last week. Almost immediately, anger erupted across the Internet over whether Bey and the band were guilty of cultural appropriation. Opinions were diverse and strong. Among the people from India or Indian-American, the greatest offense seemed to center around the sari and headdress that Beyoncè was wearing in addition to various backgrounds that identify with the culture. Was the video, as Coldplay claims, an appreciation of Indian culture? Or is it a westernized version of that culture appropriated for commercial purposes?

Thes are not easy question to answer, but then, matters of ethics are rarely easy. They take time to think through the multiple perspectives of an issue or situation, not just one’s own. One’s intention is not always how an action is receieved. Unfortunately, when one is a big star, with millions of people buying albums and screaming their adoration, ethics often flies out the window. Beyoncé is certainly flirting with that line, and in the opinions of many she’s crossed it.

Plenty of people would come to the singer’s defense, saying that any offense is imagined and that she’s simply being edgy or trying to bring attention to a specific situation. She’s trying to do good. Here’s the paradox: when one has to do something wrong in order to create the appearance of doing something right, is the wrong justified? Rarely is that the case, and certainly a music video does not justify any harm toward anyone, at any time.

The music industry has often crossed ethical lines and more than a few artists and record companies have paid a significant price for their errors. Yet, there are some who think the rules don’t apply to them, that it doesn’t matter if they don’t ask permission up front, or if they appropriate the culture of an entire country. We all love good music and Beyoncé is among the best, but ethics are a real thing, Bey. When our stars hurt other people in an  attempt to stay on top, what choice do we have but to walk away and leave those stars to fade?

When you sit on top of the world, everyone is watching. Ethics matter.

 

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Hashtag Philosophy
#WonderWhatWouldHappenIf
January 31, 2016
charles i. letbetter - #WonderWhatWouldHappenIf

The greatest mystery of existence is existence itself.—Deepak Chopra

 

charles i. letbetter - #WonderWhatWouldHappenIf

#WonderWhatWouldHappenIf gives us a chance to voice both our fantasy and our fears

Yes, boys and girls, it’s time to play with hashtags again. #WonderWhatWouldHappenIf just started trending on Twitter in the past hour (10 AM EST) and is already growing rapidly in popularity. I can’t say I’m terribly surprised. This is one of those hashtag games that gives one the opportunity to explore mystery, express fear, or expound upon matters of fantasy. I doubt there are any of us that haven’t at one time or another pondered, #WonderWhatWouldHappenIf and then proceeded to answer that question.

Actually, following through on #WonderWhatWouldHappenIf is at the core of science exploration, invention, and discovery. If no one ever was curious about what might happen, then we might never discover many of the wonderful things that make our lives better. Pursuing the innate curiosity regarding life and all that surrounds us is what allows us to advance as a society. If no one ever asked #WonderWhatWouldHappenIf we would likely still be living in caves and pounding rocks.

While the trend is still new, here are some early favorites:

Those are just a very small sample, of course, and since it’s still early I’m sure there will be even better ones coming. I’m tempted to contribute heavily because, being totally honest here, I ask that question probably more often than is healthy. Fortunately, I rarely follow through or else there would constantly be a mess in the kitchen and my computer probably wouldn’t work. Still, here are some of my more frequent thoughts:

#WonderWhatWouldHappenIf

  • we all had the chance to learn physics directly from Dr. Stephen Hawking (@ProferssorSH)
  • everyone was concerned about being better than they are now
  • I mixed blueberries, raspberries, and a MilkyWay™ bar in a chocolate shake (rather surprised I’ve not tried this one yet)
  • the terrorists trying to build bombs were color blind (unable to discern red wires from green wires from yellow wires)
  • children always listened to their parents the first time
  • nationality wasn’t a thing
  • we all behaved more like our favorite pets (I fear a lot of public urination on fire hydrants)
  • we had a clean, unlimited power supply that was not controlled by any government or third party
  • grass was purple
  • we really did have to eat our words

I’m sure you’re beginning to think of a few of your own by now. We really are very curious as a species and once we start asking hypothetical questions like this stopping becomes quite difficult. I’m intentionally avoiding those with political or overtly religious themes to them, but as long as we’re asking the question let’s get serious for a few moments.

#WonderWhatWouldHappenIf

  • No one in the world had to worry about access to clean water
  • Everyone in the world had equal and free access to education
  • Men started truly treating women as equals in every way
  • Women started respecting each other rather than being competitive
  • Everyone’s skin was the same color: cobalt blue
  • No one was ever afraid to sing
  • We only saw the beauty in other people
  • We didn’t allow ourselves to be confined by artificial social constraints
  • Clothes were free
  • Children never went hungry, were frightened, or alone

Like every hashtag game, whether you take it humorously or seriously is up to you. I think there’s plenty of room, and need, for both. I enjoy the more creative replies, but sometimes we need to be reminded about the issues right in front of our face as well.

Now that your brain has been stoked with the idea, go ahead and join the game and don’t forget to tag me so I’ll see your tweet! @charlesletbette

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PotD
#MakeMeThinkIn5Words
January 16, 2016
charles i. letbetter = #MakeMeThinkIn5Words

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.—George S. Patton

charles i. letbetter - #MakeMeThinkgIn5Words

Ah, the weekend! You made it and, quite fortunately, you’re still alive! This has been a very emotional week with the deaths of so many prominent people and we’ve all expended an abundance of energy mourning, fussing, remembering, arguing, and various other activities that, in the end, contributed to little more than the grayness of our hair. If all of 2016 is going to be this stressful, we’d just as soon go back to the previous year, please.

After such a difficult week, we thought it was time to have a little Twitter fun again this week. This time, the hashtag we’re playing with is #MakeMeThinkIn5Words, which, interestingly enough, involves six words, not five. The whole premise is to ask mind-challenging questions using only five words. This is interesting because, while the game fits well within Twitter’s 140 character limit, it comes at a time when the executives running the social media app are questioning expanding the limit to 10,000 words. Whatever would we do with all that space? There are advantages in being forced to be succinct.

Nonetheless, five words are our limit. We’ve seen some good ones already, such as, “What if Darth Vader sneezes?” and “What’s another word for thesaurus?” Even our friends at NPR got in on the game with tweets such as this:

Obviously, we’re going to have to put our thinking caps on for this one! So, let’s see what we can do:

(Sorry, couldn’t resist getting that one in early)

 

An old platitude involves the line, “you can win the battle and lose the war.” Maybe winning isn’t always everything. That is a very difficult concept to grasp when we live in such an aggressive that champions winning at all costs. Still, if you’ll give it a moment’s thought, I’m sure you can come up with a scenario in which winning on one level results in losing on another. For example, breaking the record for running the mile, but dying as you cross the finish line. 

 

No one really wants to die, and medical science is doing a lot to prolong our lives. But if we never died, would that not remove the need to procreate? Would we have to make sex illegal in order to survive? I can imagine life getting quite uncomfortable if we begin living too long.

 

I do my most serious thinking and research sitting right here in front of this computer. The more thinking I do, the more sedentary I am. The more sedentary I am, the more likely I am to snack on junk food. Knowing that there is a cherry turnover in the kitchen right now isn’t helping. I tend to consume more coffee and scotch when I’m thinking as well, which leads me to the possible consideration that thinking, ultimately, could kill me.

 

Frequent visitors know how I feel about the benefits to posing nude.However, we’ve not written about it yet this year, and we’re getting a lot of new visitors. Maybe we should write about it again. I need a different hook, though, don’t you think? We will need to revisit this question soon.

 

You know the concept already: If a man says something and no woman is around to hear it, is he still wrong? Or, more commonly, If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? Whether there can be reality without perception has been an arguable point for centuries. One can take sides, but the truth of the matter is that anything that might answer the question would amount to perception in some form, therefore the question is unanswerable. Bloody frustrating.

 

Another philosophy question because I’ve not seen them asked and they’re so much fun. Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (1646 – 1716) proposed that, “We live in the best of all possible worlds.” He based that statement on the concept that, prior to making the world, God must have considered every possible iteration, including one without hate and malice and other forms of evil, and decided that we were better off with them. A world void of evil, he thought, would rob man of free will. However, given that modern science no longer binds us to a mythological view of creation, does Leibniz’s concept still apply? Could the universe have done a better job of evolving?

 

Seriously, chocolate may honestly be the best food ever! Whether eating it by itself, or using it as a layer with other foods, it is difficult to imagine any situation that cannot be enhanced by chocolate. Even when it’s messy, it’s still good. What other food can come close to possibly comparing to the pleasure and satisfaction that chocolate brings? There are many great foods in the world, but none are going to beat chocolate.

I’m going to stop there because I think you fully understand how the game works now and should be able to carry on without my assistance. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@charlesletbetter) and I’ll follow you back. Have a wonderful, thought-filled Saturday!

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Fashion  /  Music
Ciara & The Double Standard
January 12, 2016
charles i. letbetter - Ciara & the double standard

You Can Create Your Own Life Story With The Things You Say, So When You Speak, Say Good Things.— Ciara

 

charles i. letbetter - Ciara & the Double Standard

Spin Me (2012). Model: Angela Denton

There was, apparently, a football game last night. Apparently, Grammy award-winning artist Ciara sang the national anthem. Apparently, the only thing some people noticed was her dress.

This is one of those times when a portion of American society is being so incredibly stupid that I wish I could reach out and give them all a collective slap right across the face. Apparently, not everyone has gotten it through their heads that shaming women for having breasts isn’t cool; in fact, it is a very disgusting habit that demonstrates severe ignorance and perpetuates the kind of culture wherein rape is always the woman’s fault. Stop. This type of behavior is not acceptable in contemporary society.

Just how offensive is this dress Ciara wore? Take a look at this gorgeous gown for yourself:

charles i. letbetter - Ciara & The Double Standard

Getty Images

How in the world some people dared to call this nude is beyond me. Do they have x-ray vision or something? The trolls hit Twitter so fast it was infuriating. Making matters worse, they were led by former ESPN analyst Bonnie Bernstein who should know better than to make a statement as offensive as this:

That was all the cue Twitter trolls needed. Within seconds, the pile on became heavy and increasingly ignorant. The diatribe continued even after the game was over, as though, somehow, Ciara wearing this dress was going to bring about the fall of civilization. Quite to the contrary, it is such narrow-minded, sexist opinions that are more likely to be our undoing.

What’s even more glaring, though, is the double standard such outrage presents. While, apparently, it’s okay to give Ciara grief over wearing such a wonderful gown (I mean, come on, the arch of that cape is perfect), no one says a damn thing about college students running around the field looking like this:

charles i. letbetter - Ciara & the Double Standard.

I wonder if the University of Alabama offers a degree in Objectifying Women or if it’s just an extra-curricular pastime on campus?

Quite honestly, it shouldn’t matter one bit if Ciara opted to walk out onto that field bare-ass naked; that would still be no just cause for attempting to shame her. We, as a nation and as a society, need to get the hell over this bad habit and realize the long-term harm such attitudes do to women, to the violence this attitude perpetuates.

Whoever dressed Ciara for this occasion should be congratulated on choosing a gown that was beautiful, flattering, and looked spectacular under the stadium lights.

Meanwhile, I guess I’m the only one who noticed the 0 in the 2016, which was a significant part of the game’s marketing, looked a bit too much like a vagina. And if you still want to really be upset by something, consider the fact that Coldplay is doing the Super Bowl halftime. Now that is offensive.

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pop culture  /  PotD
#IShouldNotBeAllowed
January 11, 2016
charles i. letbetter - #IShouldNotBeAllowed

#IShouldNotBeAllowed to restore paintings when I’m drunk —Charley Kaye (@charley_ck14)

 

charles i. letbetter #IShouldNotBeAllowed

Emery should not be allowed to make a snack of his mommy’s nose

There are a lot of interesting topics that get attention on social media. Most of them are pure nonsense; we leave them alone and roll our eyes when they show up in our feeds. There are details of one’s life that the rest of us really do not find interesting. #IShouldNotBeAllowed is an exception, however, because not only can I personally think of several things that I should never be allowed to do, I can also think of similar lists for every member of my family and several friends.

We all have those moments when we know damn good and well that we ought not to do something, but we go right ahead and do it anyway. Think of those times when you’ve gone just one drink past your limit, and then another, and another, and …. Or think of that time you thought drunk texting that person you just met would be really cute, and it wasn’t. I’m sure you could add to the list. I know I can, and am going to do so at the end of this paragraph. Before I do, though, be aware that if you want to join in the fun just navigate your way to https://twitter.com/hashtag/IShouldNotBeAllowed and enjoy. Now, here’s my list:

#IShouldNotBeAllowed

  • to drink more than five cups of coffee within a two-hour period of time; the world isn’t ready for me to be that hyper.
  • to edit when I’m angry; those pictures just never turn out quite right.
  • to play with small children when their parents aren’t looking; I will give them Oreo® Doublestuffs™ and then take pictures.
  • to “sample” the wine while cooking; dinner will be burned and there won’t be any wine left.
  • to “make myself at home” when there’s clearly no place to set 23 half-empty coffee cups.
  • to assist with any home repair involving electricity; there are some things homeowners insurance doesn’t cover.
  • to sleep in an upright position with my head back; no, that wasn’t an earthquake, it was me snoring.
  • to go out drinking with people half my age; the poor children can’t keep up without puking.
  • to light my pipe when I’m half asleep; there’s no repairing the burn holes in my pants—or your pants if you’re sitting too close.
  • to fly across the country within 46 hours of having eaten at Taco Bell®; flight attendants aren’t paid enough to deal with that.

I should take a break here and mention that not everything following the #IShouldNotBeAllowed hashtag needs to be serious. After all, there genuinely are things no one should be allowed to do. Ever. Let me just throw out a few things that come to mind that I shouldn’t do, and neither should you.

#IShouldNotBeAllowed

  • to believe everything I read on the Internet; we both know damn good and well most of it isn’t true.
  • to vote for someone who already has more money in the bank than the yearly budget of my home town; the rich only look out for the rich.
  • to brandish a weapon when there is no immediate threat nor cause; intimidation of any kind is being a bully and that’s not acceptable behavior.
  • to interfere with the personal rights of others even if I disagree with how they exercise those rights; everyone has a right to live as they see fit.
  • to let a belief system trump scientific concensus; believing an airplane can’t fly won’t keep a well-engineered craft on the ground.
  • to ignore or disregard expert opinion just because I disagree with it; ignorance doesn’t fit anyone well.
  • to disparage any person because of their race or national origin; there is no race, we are all the same species: human. We are one family.
  • to steal from the poor and the ignorant in the name of religion; the demons you fear are of your own making.
  • to demand my fair share when those around me have no share at all; greed is an ugly color and will be our downfall.
  • to let my fears determine how I respond to another person; I probably look just as scary and threatening to them.

We could probably go on all day with this sort of thing, but I’m fairly sure at least one of us has some actual work to get done. If you think of more, just hop on Twitter and add them. I’ll be watching for a while and can’t wait to see what you post. Be sure to tag me: @charlesletbette so I’ll see what you shouldn’t be allowed to do!

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