If I die a violent death, as some fear and a few are plotting, I know that the violence will be in the thought and the action of the assassins, not in my dying.—Indira Gandhi
No one really wants to die, so maybe we should take more care in avoiding that outcome
I was amused when scrolling through my newsfeed this morning to see a brief article with the headline: University of Houston Offers Teachers Helpful Tips For How to Not Get Murdered. Odd, I didn’t realize murdering college professors had reached such epidemic proportions. Maybe it’s just a phenomenon particular to the University of Houston, or perhaps they recently hired Miss Marple in the English department and are anticipating the inevitable. Death does seem to follow that old lady and I’m rather sure dying is not in anyone’s syllabus.
Apparently, some faculty at the University are understandably concerned about a new Texas law that allows students to carry concealed weapons in their classrooms. Among the advice given were the following “bullet” points (extra credit for the irony):
- Be careful discussing sensitive topics
- Drop certain topics from your curriculum
- Not “go there” if you sense anger
- Limit student access off hours
Now, I’m not sure exactly what “sensitive” topics might be included nor where it is one should not go if sensing anger, but I’m going to guess they might include subjects such as how incredibly stupid it is to allow guns in the classroom in the first place and the simple fact that anyone caught shooting the instructor automatically fails the course. Seriously, if this is the type of instruction we have to give the teaching staff, I’m questioning the overall quality of education one might receive at the University of Houston.
However, dying is genuinely something most of us want to avoid and, it would seem, more than a few people have difficulty with the task given that several thousand will die today, and another big bunch of people will be dying tomorrow, and the day after, and the next, and etc. So, with all sensitivity to the delicateness of such an issue set to the side and filed in the back of a drawer in an unmarked manila envelope, I would like to offer some common sense suggestions for ways in which one might avoid dying. University of Houston teachers please take notes.
- Avoid interaction with items such as bullets, knives, machetes, bombs, or other objects that might pierce one’s body in a fashion that leads to dying. Note: we’re not talking about the fashionable body modifications to your ears, nose, nipples, or other places your mother doesn’t know about. This strictly applies to those piercings that might do things like remove one’s head, severely displace one’s internal organs, or put oversized holes through vital body parts. Dying may very well be immediate should one encounter such piercings and should be avoided at all costs.
- If you live in a trailer park during a tornado, move. Growing up in Oklahoma, this was just a given. No one who had any choice lived in or even near a trailer park from March through September. In fact, the rest of the year isn’t necessarily all that safe, either. Apparently not everyone gets handed that memo, though. At least three people died in tornadoes yesterday in Louisiana and Mississippi. All three were in trailer parks. This didn’t have to happen. How does one know if there’s a danger of a tornado hitting their trailer park? There’s an easy test: is it raining? If so, move. Dying by being sucked up into a swirling cloud and then dropped just doesn’t sound painless.
- Avoid visiting places where dying seems to be a recreational activity. This includes places such as Syria, Iran, the Sudan, or South Chicago. These are places where they serve guns along with the appetizers, neighbors lob bombs at each other just for the literal hell of it, and if the bombs and bullets don’t get you the water will. Odds of surviving in these places is so low you’d have a better chance of getting a presidential candidate to convert to Islam. Stay away.
- Excessive anything is never good, and dying from excess tends to make one the target of bullying in the afterlife, or so I’m told. These are things you already know intellectually. Eating too much will kill you. Exercising too much will kill you. Mouthing off too much to your wife will kill you. One doesn’t really need to be told such things, but yet, every day, there are hundreds of people who die because they just had to have that one last piece of pie, or the last donut, or run 47 miles. Dying can come in many different forms. Be careful. Use some common sense. Step away.
- Stop smoking cigarettes. Again, you know this. You knew this when you started the dirty habit. Chances are, you ‘ve even told others not to start, and you’re always trying to quit. Stop trying. Do it. Put the damn things down. If your oral fixation is that strong, roll some bud. Having long conversations with the cat won’t kill you (though it may drive the cat nuts). Cigarettes and dying are buddies. Just stop.
- Consider a career other than suicide bomber. I’m sure I’m not the only one who questions the mental capacity of people who leave nice, warm, presumptively loving homes in order to join the so-called caliphate. I have one question for anyone considering such a move: ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? Dying is all they do in the caliphate; they rather seem to enjoy it. Apparently, someone told these incredibly gullible people that there’s a reward for going boom. WRONG! There is no reward! There are only little tiny pieces of you scattered all over the sand. That’s it. No endless supply of Snickers bars or anything else you might have been told. If one is trying to avoid death, this is the worst line of business to consider.
- One last piece of advice: wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whoever you may be, absolutely, under no condition, should you ever, EVER piss off a United States Marine. Don’t even think about it. Just say “Yes sir (or ma’am),” do as instructed, and go on about your business.
Not having died recently, that I recall, I can’t speak from experience, but the lack of folks recovering from such incidents leads me to conclude that dying is not a great deal of fun. In case you haven’t noticed, we generally cry when people die because they’re not coming back. So, let’s all do our best to avoid dying. I know the Bible says, “… it is appointed unto man once to die … (Hebrews 9:27),” but that doesn’t mean you have to do so today. Be careful out there. We like it so much better when you’re around to annoy, er, visit with us.
Take care.
Monday Morning Update: 11/04/24
I am not okay. You may want to take anything I say with a grain of salt and double-check my sources. I’ve already had to delete a post and a couple of Facebook messages this morning. I apologize if anyone was offended. Yes, I’m sober. I’ve had a headache for the past four days, though, and have moments where I completely lose track of reality. Yes, I sent a message to my doctor this morning. No, I don’t expect it to help. The best thing for me to do is keep to myself and not post anything stupid.
Kat will be back at the house this afternoon. She misses the kids (maybe me). The cats are still going to be an issue, though. She was shaving yesterday and accidentally brushed her finger across the blade. The resulting cut, though small, took an hour to stop bleeding. In my opinion, she needs to be wrapped in soft foam. Bubble wrap is useless because the cats like to play with that. She’s still planning on trying to take a couple of clients on Thursday and possibly Friday. If she sees someone on Friday afternoon, G will be there in case there’s a problem. I don’t know about Thursday, though.
Tipper spent the weekend with friends. I’m amazed that they’re willing to travel an hour to pick her up. She says she had “the best fucking time ever.” I told her to watch her language. They’re all furries, and, as a group, walked through their small town while wearing furry heads. No one bothered them and one person even stopped them to show off their pictures of a furry convention. She also came back with a robotic skeleton on her right arm. It’s a good thing she goes to a school that doesn’t mind. I’m sure that one day in the future she’s going to walk in with a full sleeve done. The trip was exhausting apparently. She came home and crashed. I didn’t see her again until this morning.
G is headed to the Purdue University campus at Ft. Wayne this morning for a field trip. I’m rather curious as to why they would consider Ft. Wayne when there are closer options. He has a set of questions to ask and is looking forward to trying out the food. He’s growing up fast and I fear I’m going to blink and he’ll be off to college. He spent much of yesterday playing with his new sewing machine. I’m now the proud owner of two small pouches. make of felt. He’s not pleased with them, but I think they’re rather impressive. No, I have no idea what this kid is going to do with his life. I’m pretty sure it will be impressive, though.
There have been some server issues with the website overnight. I woke up to go to the restroom a little after 3:00 and discovered multiple messages about the site not being accessible. When I sat down and tried to troubleshoot the problem, I got no response. That always makes me so happy [sarcasm]. After trying a couple of things, I finally bit the bullet and opened a support ticket. I hate doing that. Problems are usually small and something I could have fixed on my end. I feel stupid when that happens. This time, though, it was an issue that required technicians to fix. Everything should be up and running now.
The crushing news this morning is the death of long-time music producer Quincy Jones. This hurts in ways I can’t express. As long as I’ve been alive, Quincy Jones has been making music. I was still in grade school when I first heard his name. I’ve spent hours studying the music he produced, finding the special, subtle touches that made his records exceptional. As he’s become less active in recent years, I firmly believe his absence is a significant part of why contemporary music doesn’t have the hold of music he produced in the 60s-90s. The music industry can never be the same without him.
Tornadoes were a problem in Oklahoma over the weekend. Storms hit the greater Oklahoma City area, encompassing everything from the University of Oklahoma campus at Norman to pretty much everything eastward along I-40. The town of Choctaw took a pretty good hit and I’m told the tiny town of Hannah (pop. 102) was pretty much blown off the map. Miraculously, as of this morning, there are no deaths reported. While tornadoes can occur at any time of the year, we mostly associate them with spring weather patterns. A November storm this strong is still rare, but we’ve seen more of them in the last few years. Climate change, anyone?
To ensure accuracy, I’m going to lift this next part directly from the Associated Press: “The trial of eight people in Paris on terrorism charges started on Monday over the beheading of teacher Samuel Paty, who was killed by an Islamic extremist after showing caricatures of Islam’s prophet to his middle school students for a lesson on freedom of expression.
Paty’s shocking death left an imprint on France, and several schools are now named after him. Paty was killed outside his school near Paris on Oct. 16, 2020, by an 18-year-old Russian of Chechen origin, who was shot to death by police.”
This is what happens when religion is out of control. This is why making sure we DO NOT elect Christian Nationalists is important. Don’t think for a second that these extremists wouldn’t do similar things here. They’re dangers to all of society and need to be stopped.
The New York Times is following conversations on the Telegram app where right-wing groups are already beginning to organize as they plan to take action in response to tomorrow’s election. Fueling this danger is the Republican nominee himself who now says he ‘shouldn’t have left’ the White House. His rhetoric over the past week has grown dark and brooding. There’s trouble brewing and law enforcement is largely helpless to try and stop it. This could get very nasty over the next few days.
As you look around the various news sites today, you’re going to see a number of variously-angled articles on what to watch during tomorrow’s election. Let me give you my own list:
For perhaps the first time in my life, I’m not looking forward to voting tomorrow. I will, but I won’t feel good about it. The weather forecast predicts rain. The lines will be long. I’ll have to stand the entire time. I worry whether my vote will be counted, or if it will matter. I’m a Blue voter in a historically Red state. I’m used to being disappointed, but this time the consequences could be a matter of life or death for too many people I care about. The ACLU of Indiana has published this notice:
For help at the polls, or if you believe your rights have been violated, the quickest way to get help is by calling the non-partisan Election Protection Hotline at 1-866-OUR-VOTE (Spanish: 1-888-839-8682), or texting MYVOTE to 866-687-8683.
If you witness what you feel is voter intimidation, which is highly possible this year, the ACLU has the following recommendations:
Your rights
Examples of voter intimidation
What to do if you experience voter intimidation
I don’t see how I can make the matter any more clear. This could be the vote of your life. This vote could save your life. YOU HAVE TO VOTE. Staying home or voting for a third party guarantees an outcome you will not like, and yes, this time there will be consequences that affect you.
My head is hurting so badly now I quite literally can’t see straight. I’m eating breakfast, taking my meds, turning off the lights, and going to bed. Don’t @ me. Don’t call me. Don’t text me.
Just fucking vote!
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