Just Nude (2014)
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.—George Burns
[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]I am half tempted to just fill the rest of the page with videos. That would make the morning a lot easier on me. I wouldn’t have to worry about word count or whether anyone reads past the first paragraph. The videos would be cool, too. Madcon’s Don’t Worry was a decent enough hit earlier this year. Since 1973, Stevie Wonder’s been telling us, Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing. Bob Marley assured us, Every Little Thing‘s gonna be alright. Bobby McFarrin has been trying for years to convince us to Don’t Worry, Be Happy.  All of those songs have some very good advice, and if we all took that advice we might just live to the ripe old age of 101 as did George Burns, who was possibly one of the funniest people to ever live.
We’re not terribly good at that whole not worrying thing, though, and that in of itself is cause for worry. Why? Because it’s killing us, jackass. Mr. Burns laid it out right there for you: worry, stress, hypertension. All those things result in high blood pressure and high blood pressure is the single largest contributor to death in the entire fucking world. We worry too damn much, and it’s not getting any better. According to an article this past week in The Lancet, and reported by National Public Radio (NPR), the rate of high blood pressure as the cause of death has risen from 6.4 million in 1990, to 10.4 million in 2013.
Don’t worry, we have plenty of songs that can make us happy, right? And if that doesn’t work, there’s always cat memes and cute puppy videos on the Internet to help us forget that our lifestyle choices totally suck. If that doesn’t work, we have mindless reality shows filled with mindless people who become famous for making absolutely no worthwhile contribution to the human race whatsoever. And if that doesn’t work, then hey, there are always babies: pictures of babies making funny faces, videos of babies doing funny things, and plenty of websites demonstrating the various positions from which one can make babies. Why worry? Make babies![/one_half]
[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]Wait, no, that doesn’t work either, because then we have to worry about how we’re going to feed, clothe, and educate that baby so that they don’t grow up to be as worthless as that idiot, whomever that idiot may be. Sure, we want our kids to grow up better than us, but how is that going to happen when global wages have gone down over the past 30 years so that our buying power is now less than the same money was when our parents were diapering our shitty asses? Do we really want kids starting their adult lives with more debt than the value of the house in which they grew up? How the fuck is that supposed to be an improvement?
Personally, I think we need to eliminate politicians. Approximately 70 million adults, 1 in 3 people over the age of 21, have high blood pressure and a great deal of that comes from the fact we have this group of fucking imbeciles in Washington, D. C. who keep fucking with our lives. And it’s not so much that we mind being taxed, we are willing to pay our fair share, but those morons keep giving our money to Wall Street fat cats while our roads crumble beneath us. They spend BILLIONS OF DOLLARS on senseless, manufactured wars while woefully underfunding education so that maybe, just maybe, we can figure out how to stop having stupid fucking wars. Kill the politicians, and those things that make us worry all go away, right?
I wish. The bottom line is we have so many things to worry about because we keep making stupid fucking choices. We choose food that kills us. We elect politicians that screw us. We tolerate a banking system that impoverishes us. Â We work at jobs that bore us for a paycheck too small to house us. We spending too much time on the fucking Internet searching for ways to improve our life instead of actually going out and improving our life. But hey, whatever you do, DON’T WORRY! That worry stuff’ll kill ya’.
Okay, maybe one video below the break. Even I need it after that rant.[/one_half_last]
One More Song
Aretha Franklin says she’s retiring after one last album
The Short Version
The Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, says she is retiring from performing after one last album. At age 74, such a move is perfectly understandable, especially given her health problems in recent years. So, she’ll make one last album with Stevie Wonder producing and then call it quits. No more. But Clive Davis doesn’t think she really means it.
Some Background Info
If you are one of those dear, innocent three-month-old children who has never heard of Aretha Franklin, it is time you were educated on the matters of soul. Quite simply, there is no one better. Beyoncè and Rhianna and even Lady Gaga would be nothing without the foundation Aretha laid down before those singers were even born. She won 18 Grammy awards back when those actually meant something. She’s sold over 75 million records worldwide. Rolling Stone magazine has named her THE best singer in the world. Period. Aretha was winning lifetime achievement awards back when your parents, or grandparents, were still in high school.
Ms. Franklin has still been going strong. At a Kennedy Center Honors event in 2015, Aretha sat down at a piano and belted out Carole King’s (You make me feel like a ) Natural Woman which was a hit for Franklin all the way back in 1967. Here, take a moment and watch the video:
https://youtu.be/5RIgeu-6Jcs
If I were to try and list just the songs that have been top ten hits for Ms. Franklin, it would extend longer than you likely have time to scroll. There is no one in the music industry today who can even stand in the shadow of Aretha. She’s that important.
So, She’s Going To Retire?
Ms. Frankling told a Detroit NBC news affiliate that she plans to retire this year. She’s already won every award there is to win, including the Presidential Medal of Freedom (2oo5). There really isn’t anything left for her to do except, possibly, put her legacy further out of reach from anyone else. So, being 74, one can see where she might find it preferable to sit back and take it easy for a while.
Oh, but she wants to do one more album. Just one, mind you. One last collection of songs with long-time friend Stevie Wonder at the production controls. The album hasn’t even been named yet and is already the most highly anticipated project of the year. When two legends of R&B come together like this at any time, you know the results are going to be phenomenal. As a finalè goodbye album, just go ahead and hand out the tissues. I don’t care if all she does is sit at the piano and hum, I’m sure it would be the most soul-stirring hum you’ve ever heard.
Of course, if there’s an album, there has to be a tour, right? Franklin told the Detroit station she would do “some select things, many one a month, for six months out of the year.” Still, she asserts, this is her last year in concert. She wants to spend more time with her grandchildren.
I’m not the only one who is skeptical. Clive Davis, whose Arista label produced Aretha from 1980 through 2004, doesn’t think she’ll be able to stay away from the music. Davis told the Associated Press:
“I think that what she might have meant was that she doesn’t plan an extensive tour — still not flying and still traveling by bus, it’s just hard to stay on that bus. Aretha is still magical in person and still has the God-given voice that she has. I don’t believe that she’s retiring. I just believe that she’s cutting back, judiciously.”
Clive’s reasoning makes more sense. Aretha is one of those people who just can’t stop singing. Maybe we won’t see her as often, but I’m almost certain we’ll still see her. Somewhere. On a stage. Making everyone else look like an amateur.
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