Pictures Or It Didn’t Happen

Fashion / Photography / PotD

Pictures Or It Didn’t Happen

February 15, 2016

The technology keeps moving forward, which makes it easier for the artists to tell their stories and paint the pictures they want.—George Lucas

The fascination with Instagram and Pinterest is more than an annoying habit; it’s changing the world

We’re calling them Generation Z, those who are currently teenagers, and already they’re having an impact on the world. Wth smartphones glued to their hands and cell phone cameras ever at the ready, one of the traits this generation has learned from the Millennials right before them is that experiences matter over materialism. The big difference between the two group of youngsters, though, is that Gen Z is finding ways to make everything they do an experience, whether it’s the ride to school, ice cream afterward, or brushing their teeth before bed. Everything ends up on Instagram. And if it’s going to be on Instagram, one has to look good doing it.

Helping teens decide what makes them look good is Pinterest. Unlike their parents, who use the social media app for things like recipes and decorating ideas, Gen Z pins pictures of street styles and ads from their favorite online magazines so they can put together their own wardrobe combinations; a little of this, a touch of that, and they have a look that is all their own.

Now, imagine what it would have been like had my generation had cameras at the ready and an easy distribution method when we were teens. While we almost certainly would have taken just as many pictures as teens today do, what we captured would have likely been different. For starters, I’m not sure how often we would have been able to see anything due to the overwhelming amount of smoke that was everywhere. Even the few of us who didn’t have a pack of cigarettes tucked away somewhere had plenty of friends who did, so even a picture from the back of the driver’s ed car would have had smoke. No wonder we’re all dying.

Would looking at pictures of ourselves all the time given us a better idea of what to wear? While I’m still seeing 70s influences for the third season in a row, most of us actually had the fashion sense of a squirrel, and if one looks at the majority of us today, that hasn’t changed much. Of course, we country kids weren’t as big on the super-wide bell bottom pants as the city kids were because they were a hazard; those flared legs were dangerous around farm implements, so we tended to keep our 501s with a boot leg for practical reasons.

One thing for certain, though, had we had phones back then with the capabilities of those today, we would have captured some kick-ass music events. Imagine recording AC-DC, The Rolling Stones, Jimmy Buffet, Foghat, Chicago, The Doobie Brothers, Three Dog Night, or Led Zepplin back in their prime! Bands that are being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame next month were still young, the concerts were legendary, and what happened after those concerts is responsible for Generation X. Imagine how great it would be if we had captured that all on Periscope and then saved it!

Being able to take plenty of pictures as we go through life sounds like a great thing, but there are consequences to such an over indulgence. The first one, right off the bat, is storage; it was a problem when I was a kid and it remains a problem now. We weren’t terribly shy about taking pictures when we considered it worthwhile, but where are those pictures now? Chances are, a few are stuffed in envelopes at the back of a drawer or file cabinet. My mother was into scrapbooking as she got older; what remains of ours are in a couple of large plastic containers under a bed at my brother’s house. Teens today, though, tend to not keep their pictures all that long. When the card on their phone begins to get full, they start deleting. They’re too young to realize the value of the pictures they’re taking today. After all, they’ll be taking more pictures tomorrow. Unfortunately, of all those experiences they are having, it’s not until years later that they’ll realize which ones were really important.

The other consequence is that taking so many pictures and sharing them changes how we shop. An article in Busines Insider this morning details how the Gen Z fascination with pictures and Instagram and other social media is killing more traditional retailers like the Gap, J. Crew, and Abercrombie & Fitch. Not only that, but it is that same attitude that is leading an increasing number of designers to shift their runway calendar so that instead of showing a season ahead for department store buyers, more and more are showing current season and allowing for instant online purchases immediately after the show, skipping both the buyer and the department stores all together.

How and when we take pictures, and our fascination with sharing them, changes our decision-making process, from where we go on vacation to what we’re having for dinner. Since almost everything we do ultimately has some economic tie to it, that impulse to share everything online is dramatically altering the world’s economy, for both better and worse.

When I first picked up a camera some 30+ years ago, my dream, along with those of my colleagues, was that maybe one of my pictures might have an impact on the world. Just one. Today, kids with smartphones are changing the world with every picture they take.

And more than ever, if there are no pictures, it didn’t happen.

PotD / studio nudes

Real Love Leaves A Mark

February 14, 2016

Real love is a pilgrimage. It happens when there is no strategy, but it is very rare because most people are strategists.—Anita Brookner

charels i. letbetter - real love leaves a mark

One does not go in and out of love unscathed. Real love prevents us from ever being the same

Valentine’s Day makes life difficult with its damned if you do, damned if you don’t expectations that make life impossible whether one is in a relationship or not. This pseudo-holiday creates performance anxiety for relationships by forcing the question: is this love? And if this is love, is it real love or just that momentary emotion one creates out of a desperate need to feel something positive about a person without making a commitment?

Superficial love can happen, and does happen, all the time. That love that lingers on the surface is circumstantial, though, and like oil on Teflon slips easily away with only a faint residue of memory left behind. That’s why such love needs baubles and trinkets and silly holidays; without those things, superficial love has no traction, goes nowhere, and quickly evaporates. Even then, and this is what proves frustrating, there’s no guarantee that any of those things will hold a love in place long enough for it to grow.

Real love, by contrast, goes deep, sets anchors, not just one but several because it has no plan for leaving, ever. Real love wants to be eternal and when that’s not possible, whether, by design or fate, we come out of it with indelible marks, signs of having wallowed in that deep emotion. The marks are not necessarily scars, though that can happen, but signs that one has participated in something larger than and outside of themselves.

Real love binds us to another soul. I think parents understand this better than anyone. The moment one looks into the eyes of their own child for the first time, it happens; we are captured by real love and forever linked to this tiny person no matter how they might behave or what poor choices they might make later in life. We’re ensnared not by a heart, but by another life and we can no sooner escape from them than they from us.

Real love is not monogamous for if it were we would never be able to love our own children. Real love spreads its tentacles and shows no favoritism. Real love does not love one more than another. Rather, real love reaches out to whoever will take it and draws all together, creating a web that holds everyone safely, equally.

Real love is symbiotic, taking as it needs, giving to nourish and support the other. Highways of emotion flow back and forth between those who love so deeply and sometimes the roads traveled most often are the first to wear out. Sometimes love replaces those paths, other times it finds new ways of achieving what is necessary.

Real love is not immortal, however. Kahlil Gibran reminds us that I-do’s do sometimes die. Reasons for such are myriad and not insignificant for such true love does not go easily nor quietly into the night. Struggles ensue as those anchors, one by one, are ripped away, the ties broken, the highways crumbled. Ending such love is a process, not an event. One does not simply wake up one morning and decide to leave love on a shelf with a note.

So, love ends, and in its place are the marks, the reminders, the memories of where that love once stood. Sometimes those marks are painful and become scars, for love sometimes love is taken from us unwillingly, sometimes violently, and that hurts. More often than not, however, those marks are reminders of how we’ve grown and changed, like the height measurements of a child on the doorframe. We look back at those marks and smile, perhaps sad that those loves are gone, but happy that we had them for a while.

Then, love begins again, for it is always reaching out. Sure, pain and bitterness may give us cause to fight against it, but love that is real is impossible to put off or deny. True love does not have an agenda, and I’m no longer convinced it even knows how to read a map. Love chooses whoever love chooses simply because love chooses to choose. I am repeatedly reminding Kat that I love her because I love her. There is no other qualifier. While there are many things about her I appreciate, love is not dependent on the qualities of another but drops anchor wherever it chooses. We do not choose love; it chooses us.

And as love introduces us to another, we find marks on their lives, just as there are marks on ours, for they have loved before; they know the pain of loss and the joy of receiving. We embrace that new love and move forward, knowing that it will not disappear without a trace, and happy to be so marked.

Advertising

Violent Valentines

February 13, 2016

The human mind is capable of excitement without the application of gross and violent stimulants; and he must have a very faint perception of its beauty and dignity who does not know this.—William Wordsworth

Sure, relationships are rocky and arguments happen, but at no point is violence justified

Valentines Day has this bad habit of bringing out all the smarmy, cheesy, lovey-dovey ads about relationships that are too good to be real. Chances are, you started seeing them in mid-January and by now are ready to barf at the first sign of flowers, chocolate, or anything that sparkles. Ads for the holiday really ramp up the emotion in an effort to make you feel guilty if you don’t buy something expensive to show your love. Of course, you know that such a philosophy of love having a monetary value is faulty, but each year we buy into the concept more and more, so the ads just keep coming.

This year, Pandora (the jeweler, not the streaming music service) has a new ad that takes a slightly different approach. The concept is not so much that buying your spouse or significant other jewelry is an act of love as much as it is a plea for forgiveness. The general idea is a good one, given the number of guys who typically find themselves in hot water this time of year over some relationship gaffe.

The ad, directed by Martin Werner, is humorously set to music from Verdi’s opera, La Traviata, specifically the duet, Libiamo ne’lieti calici from the first act. The music is familiar, even to those who don’t know the opera. Giving the tenor reason to show off his vocal prowess is the whole reason for the song in the opera, and his first solo can be translated as follows:

Let’s drink, let’s drink from the joyous chalices
that beauty so truly enhances.
And may the brief moment be inebriated
with voluptuousness.
Let’s drink for the ecstatic feeling
that love arouses.
Because this eye aims straight to the heart, omnipotently.
Let’s drink, my love, and the love among the chalices
will make the kisses warmer.

Don’t be fooled, while love is occasionally mentioned, this is a drinking song, which is why the chorus keeps joyfully joining in from time to time. The song is a lot of fun and a favorite among opera fans.

Pandora uses the song, however, as a way of covering up the arguments taking place in the ads. There are multiple scenarios, but they all come to one joint conclusions: guys infuriate women and need to beg for forgiveness by heaping large amounts of diamonds upon their loved ones. Take a look at the ad and then I’ll continue my comments.

https://youtu.be/PRtt0LNm7CI

Okay, so the ad is a bit tongue in cheek, and the different approach to Valentine’s Day is appreciated. I was fine right up until the moment it gets violent and the women start throwing things. Sure, in the ad none of the objects actually hit their target, but what if they had? Were those situations to take place in real life, the outcome would likely be severe enough that all the diamonds in the world couldn’t fix it.

Here’s the thing: domestic violence is a real problem. General statistics run like this:

Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.

Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

However, one of the things those statistics hide, and which is often ignored, is that men are more likely to be the victims of violent domestic abuse at the hands of an intimate partner. A national survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Department of Justice shows that over 40% of victims of severe physical violence are men. The study also showed that men are more frequently, “the victim of psychological aggression and control over sexual or reproductive health.”

No matter how lightly it is treated, domestic violence is never funny and cannot be covered up by diamonds or candy or flowers. Depicting women violently throwing vases at men is just as wrong as if it were the other way around. Obviously, no one at Pandora thought of that tragedy. Men who are the victims of violent abuse don’t like to bring it up.

This is a very bad direction for an ad to take. While it’s too late to do anything about this ad now, I do hope the folks at Pandora show better sense in the future..

PotD

Opening Old Bottles Of Wine

February 13, 2016

Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.—Joan Collins

charles i. letbetter - opening old bottles of wine

Relationships and conversations, like an open bottle of wine, have a point at which they are of no use to anyone

I was not raised in a house that understood wine. Sure, there was an academic knowledge of how it is made but beyond that, there was a fierce denial that wine could have any positive qualities at all. Our family not only didn’t drink, but we were raised to avoid anyone who did for fear they might be a “bad influence” on us, or drag down our reputation.

Then, I had my first glass of the real thing. Sweet. Red. Low alcohol content. I discovered that I could enjoy the glass presented with my desert and, contrary to all my mother’s warnings, not instantly become a gutter-hugging drunk. A few days later, I tried a glass of merlot with a meal and fell in love. I suddenly wanted to know everything about wine. I read. I talked to sommeliers. I went to tastings. We even bought a wine rack that was shaped like a cluster of grapes.

Normally, a bottle of wine never lasted more than 24 hours once it was opened. We enjoyed the wine too much to let any dregs sit in a bottle. One day, however, I was going through the wine rack looking for a specific vintage and came across a bottle that had been opened and then returned. When it had been opened, I didn’t know. Who had opened it was a mystery. The bottle was still almost full, less than half a glass had been removed. So, I took the bottle, removed the cork, and promptly took three steps back. The wine had turned to vinegar, and not a pleasant vinegar at that. Down the sink went the remains.

I bring up that subject because this weekend is one of those times when we can be tempted to re-open the old bottles of wine in our lives. With Valentine’s Day, we can be tempted to re-open past conversations, re-visit past relationships, things that we have left behind for good reason, but still wonder if they might yet be salvaged. The answer in most cases is no, they can’t. Like wine that has been opened, those things from the past have only soured.

One of the worst mistakes I made when I was younger was to re-open conversations that had been set aside. These would be tense words where no solution had been found, where walking away and not mentioning the matter had been the best solution. Conversations involving matters of human rights, religion, or constructs of government were topics that I frequently, and incorrectly, thought I had under command. I always thought I was right. Why else would I revisit a topic if I wasn’t sure that I needed to correct a gross misunderstanding?

I can be a slow learner sometimes and didn’t realize that there are moments where being right or wrong on a topic is irrelevant. Acquaintances who were once friendly became distant and found reasons to avoid contact when they feared I might yet, again, bring up a conversation that had been uncomfortable or contentious. I was sadly oblivious to the social vinegar I was asking, forcing, others to drink.

Even worse can be when we return to past relationships. When I’m looking through old pictures, such as the two used here that are over ten years old, I often think to myself, “I wonder what they are doing now?” For better or worse, social media makes it easier than ever to answer that question. I’ll find someone on Facebook, or, far too frequently, LinkedIn will insist that I need to connect with someone I had willfully forgotten. Many times I am tempted to click that button, to make a new friend request, but I’ve learned to leave those old relationships alone and just enjoy the memories. If we have not spoken for years, there is quite likely a very good reason.

As I get older, I sometimes regret letting relationships grow sour, especially when a simple apology might have negated ill feelings in the first place. One sits and looks at that old bottle of wine wondering if it might yet be salvaged. Is it too late to apologize? If an apology is offered, will it be accepted?

Occasionally, I’ll come across an article (like this one) that claims to have a solution for “fixing” wine that has gone bad; it’s a nice dream, but I’ve not found one yet that actually works. Sure, we all like the fairy tale of lost souls finding each other again after all the years and falling in love, or becoming close friends. Sometimes the risk pays off and if that old bottle of wine represents a relationship with a family member, then perhaps taking the risk is justified.

Still, more often than not, it’s best to just not re-open those old bottles at all. Enjoy the memories of the wine when it was good. Keep the bottle as a token of a special time if you wish. But should you open that bottle, be prepared for the reality that all you’re likely to get is vinegar.

PotD / Social Commentary

Some Days Just Suck

February 12, 2016

Tonight I’ll dust myself off, tonight I’ll suck my gut in, I’ll face the night and I’ll pretend I got something to believe in.—Jon Bon Jovi

Just as every day has the potential to be great, they have to potential to suck, and it’s not always your choice

I would very much like to meet the person who came up with the concept that every day is supposed to be bright, cheery, and wonderful. I would very much like to meet this person and come upside their head with a two-by-four. Why? Every day is not good. There is not always a reason to smile. Not every bad situation has a silver lining. Everything does not work out for the best. Some days just suck and to deny that censors feelings we legitimately need, such as anger, disappointment, and grief, if we are to ever improve our world. Remember: there are no bad emotions. Even the non-happy ones have their place.

So, here it is another Friday, the end of the work week, allegedly, and you have at least two, possibly three days off if you work for someone who observes President’s Day. Maybe you have big plans, have already spent a lot of money on deposits and such, and have everything arranged perfectly. You’ve done all you can and you’ve put your best effort into the whole weekend. Then, something happens, something you cannot control. Your father-in-law has a heart attack. Your car engine inexplicably blows a gasket in the middle of an intersection. That lovely person who was supposed to join you this weekend becomes ill and can’t stop puking. One of the children falls and breaks a limb. Suddenly, this Friday stops being happy and now, immediately, sucks. Your plans are ruined, your deposits are non-refundable, and all those perfect arrangements are irrelevant. There’s no recovery.

Sure, the day may suck. What’s important at this point is that you not deny how you feel. Don’t let someone tell you to suck it up. You can’t deal with those emotions until you admit that you have them. Be disappointed, there’s nothing wrong with that. Be angry, not in the sense that you fly off the handle and hurt someone else, but step away and punch the living hell out of a pillow or something. Go outside and scream. Let it out. Deal with those negative emotions.

No matter what we do, no matter how we try to live our lives as joyfully and righteously as possible, there are going to be days that suck, and they’re going to happen when it is least convenient to put up with the sucking. Part of what makes a day suck is that it upsets what we were expecting from the day. Convenience isn’t in the cards when life suddenly turns sour. Even when you have some clue that a day is going to be difficult and you try to prepare yourself for the inevitable, it still can be worse than you ever expected.

My father died 14 years ago. We knew it was coming. If anything, we had hoped the end would come sooner because seeing him suffer through the deterioration caused by cancer was heart-wrenching. When I flew into Tulsa that morning, I knew what I was facing, that the inevitable had finally come. This was not going to be a good day. Yet, for all the mental and emotional preparation I had done, the moment he finally took his last breath, when the grip he had on my hand relaxed for the last time, when the hospice nurse looked at us and shook her head, the wave of grief that swept over me in that moment was unlike anything I had ever felt. This was more than just a bad day.

I didn’t think I would ever feel pain like that again, but I did. Six months and four days later I was called home from the office. Mother had fallen during the night and died quite unexpectedly. Not only was their grief, there was anger. I had just spoken to her the night before. What went wrong? To say that day sucked would be the most severe of understatements.

You’ve had days like that as well, maybe worse. I think of people who lose entire families in one fell swoop. People full of hope and opportunity are suddenly, for any number of reasons, paralyzed or struck with some seemingly random disease that dashes their hopes like glass on a concrete floor. A baby dies. A house catches fire. A dear pet is hit by a car. Those are all days that suck.

People are always trying to take a bad situation and make it better. Stop it. Let us deal appropriately with the bad, recognize tragedy for what it is, and then give people the space to move on in their own time, in their own way. Not every day gets to have a smile. Some days have tears, and that’s okay. Offer a tissue if you want to help, but never tell someone to not cry, to not feel whatever they’re feeling.

Some days just suck. Be a friend and accept that.

Music

Ethics Are A Real Thing, Bey

February 7, 2016

Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do.—Potter Stewart

charles i. letbetter - ethics are a thing, Bey

Being a big star can get you a lot of leeway, but there are some lines no one has a right to cross

There’s little question that Beyoncé is one of the biggest stars on the music scene today, and when she hits the stage during the halftime of today’s Super Bowl crowds will scream and yell, forgetting the horror of Coldplay that they’ve had to sit through first. In addition to being a fantastic musician, Beyoncé is also a brilliant marketer. Last night, less than 24 hour before the Super Bowl halftime show, she released her new music video, Formation, which immediately set the Internet on fire, zooming to the top of both Billboard and iTunes hot charts. #Formation is still trending on Twitter and probably will continue to do so through the day.

There’s just one problem: The video makes heavy use of documentary footage from the documentary, That B.E.A.T., by Abteen Bahgeri and Chris Black. Chrisk Black was quick to lash out on Twitter:

New Beyonce video used hella clips from the doc I produced and directed by @abteen …but why?!?! https://t.co/RgWTUr1rtd

— chris black (@TheBlack) February 6, 2016

I guess it’s flattering that people fuck with the things you’ve created but also frustrating when they wanna use it like it’s theirs.

— chris black (@TheBlack) February 6, 2016

The funny thing is that our doc is lowkey iconic so the audacity to rip and pass it off like we not gonna notice. You outta touch b!

— chris black (@TheBlack) February 6, 2016

Later, Entertainment Weekly publishes this statement supposedly from Queen Bey’s representative:

“The documentary footage was used with permission and licensed from the owner of the footage. They were given proper compensation. The footage was provided to us by the filmmaker’s production company. The filmmaker is listed in the credits for additional photography direction. We are thankful that they granted us permission .”

So, everything’s cool, right? Permission was granted, rights were secured, etc.

Well, hold on. If rights and permission were secured in advance, how did the filmmakers not know that? Yes, their names are in the credits, which had to have been added before the video was uploaded, but how is it even possible that the people who created the documentary wouldn’t know those things?

This comes on the heels of another dustup concerning the Coldplay video featuring Beyoncé Hymn For The Weekend, which was released last week. Almost immediately, anger erupted across the Internet over whether Bey and the band were guilty of cultural appropriation. Opinions were diverse and strong. Among the people from India or Indian-American, the greatest offense seemed to center around the sari and headdress that Beyoncè was wearing in addition to various backgrounds that identify with the culture. Was the video, as Coldplay claims, an appreciation of Indian culture? Or is it a westernized version of that culture appropriated for commercial purposes?

Thes are not easy question to answer, but then, matters of ethics are rarely easy. They take time to think through the multiple perspectives of an issue or situation, not just one’s own. One’s intention is not always how an action is receieved. Unfortunately, when one is a big star, with millions of people buying albums and screaming their adoration, ethics often flies out the window. Beyoncé is certainly flirting with that line, and in the opinions of many she’s crossed it.

Plenty of people would come to the singer’s defense, saying that any offense is imagined and that she’s simply being edgy or trying to bring attention to a specific situation. She’s trying to do good. Here’s the paradox: when one has to do something wrong in order to create the appearance of doing something right, is the wrong justified? Rarely is that the case, and certainly a music video does not justify any harm toward anyone, at any time.

The music industry has often crossed ethical lines and more than a few artists and record companies have paid a significant price for their errors. Yet, there are some who think the rules don’t apply to them, that it doesn’t matter if they don’t ask permission up front, or if they appropriate the culture of an entire country. We all love good music and Beyoncé is among the best, but ethics are a real thing, Bey. When our stars hurt other people in an attempt to stay on top, what choice do we have but to walk away and leave those stars to fade?

When you sit on top of the world, everyone is watching. Ethics matter.

Current Issues / PotD

Matters Of Polite Conversation

February 6, 2016

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.—Truman Capote

“Let them eat cake” is a fine party philosophy until you run out of cake. Then what?

There is no predicting the future, no matter how hard we might try. There are prognosticators and statisticians working like crazy in an attempt to predict how Super Bowl 50 is going to play out tomorrow. Everyone wants a good game, and everyone wants their favorite team to win. However, there are times when that just doesn’t happen. In fact, there are five Super Bowls, three involving the Denver Broncos, there were nothing short of blowouts. They were, in order of severity:

Super Bowl XXII – Washington Redskins 42 – Denver Broncos 10
Super Bowl XXVII – Dallas Cowboys 52 – Buffalo Bills 17
Super Bowl XLVIII – Seattle Seahawks 43 – Denver Broncos 8
Super Bowl XX – Chicago Bears 46 – New England Patriots 10
Super Bowl XXIV – San Francisco 49ers 55 – Denver Broncos 10

Those scores are rather depressing if one is a Broncos fan. No matter how much one might want to see Peyton Manning go out on top, the very real numbers are not necessarily in his favor. There is a frightening chance that by the end of the halftime show there’s not much left to do besides eat hot wings and chat with whomever is left in the room. This could get awkward, especially if one happens to be at a Super Bowl party where one doesn’t know many people. Yeah, we’ve been there.

However, and you can thank me for this later, I have compiled a list of topics that are great conversation starters. You have some time between now and tomorrow to study up a little bit so that should there be an unforeseen lull in the game, you can break the silence and monotony with one of these gems. You may be the one who actually saves the party! Any of these can work, so take a good look and find a couple with which you can get comfortable.

Traffic fatalities took a huge jump last year. When one considers the increase as a percentage, 9.3 doesn’t sound like much. Yet, in terms of real numbers, we’re looking at an increase of 2,200 and those numbers are still preliminary; they could go up. Now, there’s no need for complete panic just yet. When one adjusts for the numbers of cars on the road, which also increased, the percentage falls to five percent, which isn’t nearly as alarming. What seems to be the difference? Two major contributors seem apparent. One is the decline in road conditions. We’ve heard about our crumbling infrastructure for a few years and now that lack of attention is costing real lives. The second is distracted driving, with cell phones being the primary culprit. That particular problem is 100 % preventable. Play this topic off one of the many new car ads running during tomorrow’s game.
A sale isn’t always as good as it looks. Everyone’s looking for a bargain, right? In fact, we all know someone who enjoys bragging about the deals they’ve scored. They never pay regular price for anything. However, many stores, especially department stores such as Nordstrom and Kohls, are facing an increased number of class-action lawsuits based on what consumers consider deceptive sale pricing. Shoppers see a 75% off sign, but fail to read the small print that qualifies how that 75% is actually calculated. There are other times when sale prices and regular prices appear to be the same. JC Penney set aside a whopping $50 million to settle a suit claiming their 40% off prices were actually their regular prices. Designer Michael Kors settled a suit claiming made-for-outlet goods were misrepresented as discounted regular clothing. Stores often settle these suits so they don’t have to admit any wrongdoing. Remember that when your favorite retailer’s ad pops up on the screen between downs.
Twitter is changing to be more like Facebook. This topic may only work if you’re watching the big game with people who are constantly looking at their smartphones. People who don’t use social media, and especially those who don’t use Twitter, won’t give a damn. Those who do, though, are likely to be furious. Switching the timeline feed over to an algorithm similar to the kind Facebook uses means that tweets will not necessarily appear in chronological order. Popular and trending topics would appear first. On one hand, it might help sort out what’s important from all the white noise that Twitter attracts. At the same time, though, those who don’t have 20 million followers might have difficulty getting their tweets seen at all. While Twitter has yet to officially respond to this Buzzfeed article, the lack of a denial has the hashtag #RIPTwitter trending. Use this when you see everyone at the party staring at their phone.
Beer is getting into the fashion business. In a way, this isn’t the biggest revelation in the world, but given the number of beer ads shown during the game, it’s an easy segue for conversation. What’s going on is that more beer companies, from small-label craft beers to mass-produced brands such as Heineken (which does have a new ad during the game) are doing collaborations with designers to work their logos into clothing designs. We’re talking about more than just the PBR fishing hat or the Bud Light t-shirt here. Brands are spending major cash to have their brands show up subtly on department store shelves attached to designer names. They’re also likely to show up in places like the comforter on the bed at your favorite B&B, or the shades your girlfriend is wearing. While the collaborations haven’t gotten too noisy yet, if those $5 million ads don’t work we may see Clydesdale imprints on the catwalk come fall.
The Zika virus has the UN asking countries to loosen abortion restrictions. Warning: only use this topic if the game is a complete blowout and you’re desperate for some aggressive action. You won’t find this in any US newspaper because, to date, Zika isn’t an American problem. By summer, though, when the mosquito population increases and people are out more, we could see the issue here as well. Zika is a devastating mosquito-born disease that primarily affects the brain size of newborns. There is no cure, and to date there is no sure means of prevention. Pregnant women are, of course, most at risk, but it is worth noting that the disease can also be spread through sexual activity. The Zika outbreak has been declared a global health concern and even insurance companies, who are not prone to wanting government interference, are asking for help in finding some way to slow this deadly disease. Ths one is certain to start a lively conversation, though, so don’t bring it up unless the game is just so far gone that you’re need something dramatic to prevent you from stabbing your eyes with a colored toothpick.

Sure, we all hope the game is close and that you never have any reason to take your eyes off the screen. We also hope you don’t get food poisoning for wings that have been left out too long. Still, it is better to be prepared than caught sitting in a quiet room where everyone can hear you fart.

And if all else fails, try stripping in front of the TV. If that doesn’t start a conversation, it’s time to leave.

Current Issues / PotD

Rape Is NOT Masculine

February 4, 2016

It seems that whatever we do is somehow beyond reproach – murder, rape, drunk driving – as long as we go on a TV show and apologize.— Eric Stoltz

charles i. letbetter - rape is not masculine

Rape is not a right of gender. Rape is not a right of marriage. Rape is not right. Ever.

I’m relatively certain that every woman I’ve met in the past 30 years, with maybe one or two exceptions, has been the victim of sexual violence at some point in her life. Don’t think for a second that such a statistic comes because I hang out with “that kind” of women, whatever “that kind” may be in your mind. Quite to the contrary. Women from every walk of life, religious or not, cautious or not, across every socio-economic status, across every level of education, are victims of sexual violence.

You work with them, these women who are victims. They hand you your morning coffee. They check you out at the grocery. They handle your tech support calls, your banking problems, your investments and insurance, your pious donations, and even the porn subscription you claim isn’t really yours. They sit as members of Congress, the chief executives of major corporations, and maybe even your own boss.

These women have been made victims at the hands of fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, cousins, boyfriends, husbands, customers, co-workers, classmates, bosses, church workers, pastors and priests and many others who all, for some stupidly insane reason, thought they had the “right” to violate someone in the most intimate of ways possible. We have perpetuated a culture where some find it acceptable to use drugs or alcohol to coerce a young woman into sex. We have created a deplorable society wherein it is the victim, not the perpetrator, who is shamed and blamed. And being the male-dominated society we still are, we pass laws so that our sins can go without punishment.

I have been sickened over the past several years as elected officials and those running for office, those who are chosen to represent all the people, have attempted to justify rape in order to avoid funding healthcare for women. Just a few of their statements (verified by Snopes) include:

“Rape is kinda like the weather. If it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it.” Clayton Williams (R-TX) 24 March 1990

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to shut that thing down.” Todd Akin (R-MO) 19 August 2012

“Rape victims should make the best of a bad situation.” Rick Santorum (R-PA) former US Senator and, until yesterday, presidential candidate. 20 January 2012

“Even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.” Richard Mourdock (R-IN) 23 October 2012

“If a woman has (the right to an abortion), why shouldn’t a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t (in most cases) result in anyone’s death.” Lawrence Lockman (D-ME) February 2014

There also seems to be a problem among professional athletes, many of whom accept plea deals for lesser charges rather than face up to the consequences of what they’ve done. Among those convicted for sexual assault are:

Kevin Allen, Philadelphia Eagles, released after 33 months

Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson, Dallas Cowboys, released after 28 months

Darren Sharper, retired NFL, lifetime probation

Nate Webster, retired NFL, 12 years

Milton Bradley, Major League Baseball, 2 years and 230 days imprisonment, plus 400 hours of community service

Chad Curtis, Major League Baseball, 7-15 years

Mel Hall, Major League Baseball, 45 years, charges involved children

Tom Payne, Atlanta Hawks (NBA), multiple counts, 15 years to life

Ruben Patterson, Seattle Supersonics, served 15 days.

Mike Tyson, boxing, served three years

Bob Hewitt, tennis, served six years of an eight-year sentence.

If that list feels short and dated, it is. Many athletes now avoid conviction by agreeing to enter some form of treatment, which further diminishes the severity of their crime. The problem is severe, but those in charge (all men) don’t want to taint the image of their sport by letting the public see just how many players are guilty of sexual assault and other violent crimes.

Most recently, and what currently has me beyond furious, is this bullshit concept of neomasculinity, as though, somehow, masculinity needs to be redefined in terms that reward aggression and domination with concepts that are misogynistic and pro-rape. These jackasses even claim to have rape clubs, though I cannot find any direct evidence of any being caught by law enforcement. The movement is headed by one particularly creepy douchebag who goes by the name RooshV. I’m sorry to say he’s an American citizen, from Maryland, who has this warped idea that rape should actually be legal so long as it occurs on private property. He’s written multiple books on “seduction,” and, until yesterday, was organizing a global meet-up of like-minded douchebags around the world this Saturday. Fortunately, as word of this massive circle jerk spread and protests began to form to disrupt the meetings, they have been cancelled, though he encourages “private” gatherings.

There is absolutely, positively, without any possible exception, no terms or conditions under which rape is justified and it certainly is not masculine. Real men respect women. Real men support women rather than take advantage of them. Real men don’t threaten or cajole. Real men don’t use positions of authority to convince women to have sex with them. Real men don’t call women “bitch,” “whore,” or “slut.” Real men understand that women have the right to maintain control of their bodies at all times.

We fully and unapologetically condemn the entire neomasculinity movement and the rape culture it perpetuates. We condemn RooshV and anyone who agrees with his dangerous and quite likely criminal methods and intentions. The time has come for real men to join women in their stance against reduced sentences and plea agreements that diminish the severity of sexual assault against women.

Rape is not masculine; never has been, never will be. Rape is a crime not just against women but against all humanity. Stop making excuses.

Advertising / Fashion

Sophia Loren Does Family Values For D&G

January 30, 2016

Americans try to talk about positive family values, although the actual state of things is disastrous.—Vladimir Zhirinovsky

Everyone loves their family, and every family has values; but if you’re saying your family is better than mine, we have a problem.

At 81, Sophia Loren is proof positive that real beauty and elegance never fade. The actress that stunned in The Houseboat and won an Oscar® for La ciociarau in 1962 is still every bit as stunning in the new fragrance ad (please, don’t call it a short film) for Dolce & Gabbana‘s Dolce Rosa Excelsa. Whether she’s brushing on paint while wearing a white button-down shirt or gracefully descending the stairs in a black lace dress, Ms. Loren still possesses the ability to outshine every other model on the planet. Her appearance in the 90-second piece is exquisite.

The move plays right into D&G’s spring campaign that casts a number of grandmothers as the featured models, and that on the heels of a fall/winter runway show that emphasized mothers. Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana have figured out that appealing to a woman’s maternal instincts is a great way to sell clothes to the whole family. You can’t fault them for a unique marketing plan that is working even better for them than it did for Sears & Roebuck back in the 1960s. Yes, you read that correctly; I just compared Dolce & Gabbana to Sears. If you just had a Brady Bunch flashback, you’re welcome.

While all the family values marketing seems sweet, however, one would be naive to think that it is being promoted only to sell clothes. Not hardly. While both designers are openly gay and have, in the past, been in a relationship together, their interview in Panorama last year presented a very narrow and non-inclusive view of family. Specifically, Domenico claimed that there is a sharp division between children conceived and “born to a mother and a father” versus “children of chemistry, synthetic children. [Products of] uteri [for] rent, semen chosen from a catalog.” Never mind that a very large number of heterosexual couples have to use in-vitro fertilization to have children just the same as a gay couple might. Dolce goes on to say, “I am gay, I can’t have a child. I guess you cannot have everything in life. Sometimes it is beautiful to be deprived of something. Life has a natural course, some things cannot be changed. One is the family.”

Such views clash with what we see in the film as the well-muscled young models helping Ms. Loren revitalize an Italian villa take a moment to lose their shirts and play in the water hoses. Depending upon one’s orientation, this might be gay, or it may be a straight girls wet dream. Either way, it is a strong juxtaposition to the more right-wing, traditional family values tone D&G prefers to espouse publicly.

In the final scene of the film, Loren’s real-life son, Edoardo Ponti, presents a rose to “Rosa,” played by model Kate King, who then presents the same flower to Ms. Loren. All this seems so very lovely as though perhaps leading up to a big Italian wedding (don’t bother, ladies, Edoardo is married with two children). For 90 seconds worth of add, there are family values oozing from almost every frame. Too bad Dolce & Gabbana doesn’t see fit to make room for the entire family. Perhaps they’d prefer all those non-traditional family members shop elsewhere.

Here’s a look at the full commercial.

https://youtu.be/K6pdNpNgmtg

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for family values and I think the commercial is beautiful and Ms. Loren was the perfect choice for the role. However, I prefer family values that include everyone, not just someone’s exclusionary view built upon antiquated mythology. Perhaps, eventually, D&G will find a way to include the whole family.

Music / PotD / science

History and Hashtags

January 27, 2016

We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world or to make it the last.—John F. Kennedy

Today may be one of our greatest achievements or more devastating disasters; which is totally up to us

27 January is one of those dates that history just seems to like. Events of note, people whose lives are noteworthy, have connections to this date in a volume that exceeds the norm and causes us to sit up and take notice. One day can make a difference, a big one, and much of that comes down to the actions or decisions of one person. Here’s a partial list of historical events that happened on this date, concatenated from the Associated Press:

In 1756, composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born in Salzburg, Austria.
In 1880, Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric incandescent lamp.
In 1901, opera composer Giuseppe Verdi died in Milan, Italy, at age 87.
In 1913, the musical play “The Isle O’ Dreams” opened in New York; it featured the song “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” by Ernest R. Ball, Chauncey Olcott and George Graff Jr.
In 1944, during World War II, the Soviet Union announced the complete end of the deadly German siege of Leningrad, which had lasted for more than two years.
In 1945, during World War II, Soviet troops liberated the Nazi concentration camps Auschwitz and Birkenau in Poland.
In 1965, “Up the Down Staircase,” Bel Kaufman’s novel about a young, idealistic teacher at a New York inner-city school, was published by Prentice-Hall.
In 1973, the Vietnam peace accords were signed in Paris.
Ten years ago: Salzburg, Austria, held an exuberant 250th birthday party for its native son, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Western Union delivered its last telegram. The first inhalable version of insulin, Exubera, won federal approval.

Understanding this is just a partial list and realizing how broad a representation of life it represents, perhaps we might find some encouragement in making a little extra effort to make this 17 January yet another day of note. To that end, the hashtag #LetsMakeTodayBetterBy has been trending since yesterday afternoon. While celebrating the great lives and events of history is important, equally necessary is that we make the effort for today to become one of those days that history remembers.

Granted, not everything for which today might be known would be obvious at first. Who can foretell which of the hundreds of thousands of new lives born today will grow up to excel in ways we currently cannot imagine. Inventions that might seem overly simple or unimportant when first unveiled may prove to dramatically change all our lives. Yet, without our making an effort to improve today, and the future, this just becomes another day where history yawns and keeps on going.

How can you make today better? Here are some of the things that have been mentioned so far:

Happy Chocolate Cake Day! https://t.co/t3iMKkCIA6 #LetsMakeTodayBetterBy #ChocolateCakeDay #chocolate #pudding #CaKe pic.twitter.com/BjHwxIIQzL

— Just Puds (@justpuds) January 27, 2016

#LetsMakeTodayBetterBy being compassionate, like this Apple store worker who helped a mom and her son with autism https://t.co/SNzHSCDAFb

— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) January 26, 2016

#LetsMakeTodayBetterBy following our dreams. XO, Chloe Pink pic.twitter.com/4OCw8DT5PV

— chloepink (@chloepink) January 27, 2016

#LetsMakeTodayBetterBy by doing something positive for someone else, even if it is just a thank you pic.twitter.com/3l9BHYGSPE

— Jamie Hill (@JamieHillUK) January 27, 2016

As I’m writing, there are over 66,000 suggestions for how to make today better. Naturally, some of them are self-serving and more than a few relate to specific events that, for geographic reasons, are not necessarily available to everyone. Still, by making a deliberate effort to make today better, we all increase the chances that this will be another 27 January for the history books. The future history is up to you.

PotD

The Virtue of Silence

January 26, 2016

charles i. letbetter - virtue of silence

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.—Khalil Gibran

In silence we hear the whispers of wisdom

Among the list of people whom I can no longer find, and may well be deceased, is an associate professor of music by the name of Robert Woods. Dr. Woods was a rather unassuming individual from my student perspective, but in January of 1982, while teaching a course in electronic music, he taught us a very valuable lesson about the importance of silence. His assignment sounded simple enough: find a place with absolute silence, and see how long you can stand it. Being cocky college students, we laughed. It was J-term and the campus was more than half empty. Finding a quiet spot would be easy.

But Dr. Woods didn’t say find a quiet spot. His instructions were to find a place absolutely void of sound and when class convened the next day we shared our stories of just how difficult it had been to complete the assignment. So difficult, in fact, that I was the only one who had actually found a place of complete silence: the morgue.

I worked part time in a funeral home. After everyone else had left for the evening, I went into the empty embalming room, which was totally sealed, and shut the door. The experience might have been eery had I not been accustomed to being in the room. There was nothing in there that would make a sound without human intervention, or so I thought. As I settled in on a stool, I soon realized that the fluorescent bulbs were humming. One wouldn’t have noticed under normal conditions, but when all other distractions were removed, there it was: a low but distinct hum. There was only one thing to do: turn off the lights.

Yes, sitting along in a sealed embalming room in the dark is eery. Worse than the dark, though, was the complete silence. Not a sound. I not only could hear my own breathing, but my heart beat sounded louder the longer I sat there. I’d shift my weight on the stool and the shuffle of my slacks against the metal was loud. I cracked my knuckles and it sounded like fireworks. With its ceramic tile floor and walls, the acoustics of the room amplified any sound, but the only sound was that of me, being alive. I stayed for what felt like an eternity then felt my way along the wall back to the door. I had been in the room a mere four minutes.

Dr. Woods’ point had been that silence is a necessary part of music and he wanted us to experience silence so we would appreciate the presence of rests amidst a flurry of sound. Music, he explained, finds its life not in the cacophony of notes and sounds as we might layer them together, but in those brief moments of silence, the rests, especially when unexpected, that allow us to catch our breath.

I can’t say I learned a great deal from the remainder of that class. Electronic music was still finding its roots and our resources, which had been borrowed, were painfully limited. Dr. Woods soon left for a teaching position at a university that appreciated his forward thinking and we went on to do other things that had no relationship to our degrees. What stuck, though, was that very important lesson in the virtue of silence.

Life since that moment in 1982 has only gotten increasingly louder. The reason I get up at 4:00 AM every morning to write these articles is because, in relative silence I can think, put words in order, consider what phrasing best communicates an idea, and pull together stories that are, hopefully, worth reading. Outside this morning, the wind is literally howling and the heater is struggling to keep our house warm, but in the absence of children laughing, music playing, or the whole world trying to talk at the same time, there is a peacefulness that gives life amidst the cacophony.

One of the reasons I so dislike presidential election years is the amount of overwhelming noise they generate. Every candidate, especially at this point of the approaching primaries, is shouting as loud as they can, trying to shove their message through the eye of the needle that is our attention span. Add to that all the sports, not just the impending Super Bowl, but all the cricket and the soccer and the basketball going on around the world. There are ads, and movies, and trailers, and … I think someone has a field trip today but I don’t remember which child. Then, there’s laundry and dishes and I suppose I should plan something for dinner because people do need to eat every once in a while. Pictures to schedule and take and edit. Conversations about books and an upcoming deadline and no I’ve not even started that outline. Did I remember to order underwear? I hope so, because I don’t have time to go out and buy more. Rumors that Sarah Burton is leaving Alexander McQueen and going to Dior, are they true? Men’s fashion in Paris, then couture, then, SHOWTIME, a month of ready-to-wear. And …

So. Much. Noise.

Learning the virtuosity of silence doesn’t happen by accident. Too many people ignore the rest signs. We need those quiet places; in our lives, in our thoughts, in our schedules, in our creativity. We need space to take a breath so that we don’t choke on our own lifelong diatribes.

May you find that moment, if not now, soon, where you can experience the virtue of silence. May you find Peace. And thank you, Dr. Woods, wherever you are.

Advertising

Everyone Wants Your Money

January 25, 2016

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.—Will Rogers

By 2017, Millennials will have more buying power than any other generation in the industrialization era

Everyone is after the Millennials and their money. As a group, Millennials have replaced the Baby Boomer generation as being the most attractive to advertisers. They are more likely to have expendable income and both their earning and buying power is just beginning to grow. Brands that lock in Millennials as repeat customers now are likely to enjoy a long purchasing relationship in the future.

The challenge is that Millennials have a very different outlook on the world than did my generation when we were their age. Therefore, they don’t respond to the same form of advertising and marketing campaigns that have worked before. Ad agencies get this because, no big surprise here, a large portion of their creative staffs are Millennials. Convincing their clients of the need to change, however, is not always easy. Some get it, some don’t.

Among those who seem to understand the need to market differently to Millennials is MillerCoors. Sure, it’s no big surprise that Millennials like beer; in many ways they have fueled the craft beer boom almost single-handedly. The traditional big-volume beer sellers have struggled, though, in no large part due to the fact that Millennials don’t like mass-market beer. As a result, we see companies such as MillerCoors looking to smaller agencies like Mekanism to create campaigns tailored specifically to the Millennial, such as this one:

Among the things worth noting about this ad:

it’s short. 16 seconds is all the time it takes to make their point. Millennials tend to not have long attention spans and a 30-second commercial is likely to be overkill.
it’s real. Millennials are hitting their childbearing years and responding to that natural desire. However, these are not super-young 20-something couples; they’re older, more mature, which is common among this and subsequent generations.
it’s not sexy. No girls in bikinis, no buff guys in baby oil. While the couples are reasonably attractive, Millennials don’t respond to over-sexualized images the way that Boomers did.
it shows a reasonable income bracket. No large pool, no large house. Millennials want homes, but haven’t been able to afford them, so showing a smaller house that is more likely a rental is appropriate.

MillerCoors isn’t the only one getting the message. Hilton Worldwide has announced it will be opening a new chain of hotels called Tru that is designed specifically to attract Millennials. The first hotel is scheduled to come online later this year, with approximately 132 facilities planned for cities that are popular among that generation, such as Portland, Dallas, Atlanta, Chicago, and Denver. The hotels will focus on highly personalized service and what they refer to as a “common, youthful look.” Their ads will be, “visually represented through spirited photos with playful and vibrant colors; custom, fun illustrations; circular shapes, not only to invoke our logo, but also to convey that we are different; and the custom vernacular we’ve created for this brand using three-letter words like zip, jam and fit,” according to Alexandra Jaritz, global head, Tru by Hilton.

There’s no question that Millennials like to travel, but even there they’re not doing it in the same way as Boomers. This is evidenced by the very existence of AirBnB, which is counting on Millennials (and Chinese tourists) to help make it profitable. Can Tru by Hilton create an experience-based standardized accommodation that actually competes with staying in someone else’s home? I have to admit, this could be entertaining to watch. I’m just glad I don’t have any money invested with either approach.

For all the places that are at least trying to understand Millennials, however, there are four or five times as many companies who don’t, and those are likely to be some of the major losers over the next few years. Here are some of the sectors I think really need to step up their game if they want to stay solvent once Boomers are no more.

Banking & Finance. Millennials don’t trust banks and they damn sure don’t trust Wall Street with their money. As a result, the climate is right for an alternative to come in and set a genuinely new paradigm in the financial sector. Unfortunately, this also may make Millennials more financially vulnerable in the long-term.
Cable Television. It’s been suggested that there is too much television already. What’s driving this concern is the fact that only 46% of Millennials watch any television programming at all, and the vast majority of that is on mobile devices. Millennials have cut the cord with cable pretty hard and I’m not sure it is remotely possible to convince them to come back.
Transportation. Just as the auto sector is starting to recover from the recession and sales are picking back up, they soon need to begin re-examining their approach to the Millennial market, which, as a group, doesn’t exactly like cars. Even with the new hybrids and promising growth among alternative-fuel vehicles, Millennials would still rather ride their bicycles, take public transportation, or call Uber for a ride. Environmental concerns override money issues on this one. While there are more than enough Boomers still buying cars, and big ones at that as gas prices plummet, automakers need to re-work their approach to a generation that doesn’t have the brand loyalty their grandparents did.
Warehouse Clubs. This one kind of makes sense. Millennials live in smaller places and have limited transportation options that don’t involve carrying around a pack of 46 paper towel rolls. While all the major warehouse clubs have online purchasing options, the positioning, design, and marketing of those options leaves a lot to be desired. If they want to capture Millennials, the folks at Costco and Sam’s Club need to follow Amazon’s example and then improve upon that experience.
Family-related services. This includes anyone involved in health care, children’s services (including clothing and education), and anything to do with weddings. Millennials are totally redefining family. Who and when they marry, when or if they have children, and how they approach health care have significantly different answers than previous generations. A lot of traditions are being left in the dust and will not recover. Those who survive will do so only by completely re-configuring how they do business and how they market to this new generation.

These are not insurmountable issues. For all the challenges some companies may face, there are reasonable answers for most. There’s no time to waste, though. Companies who don’t have a Millennial-focused plan by the end of this year are going to find it increasingly difficult to ever win that business at all. You want Millennials’ money, you’ll have to work for it!

Current Issues / PotD

Avoiding Bad Blizzard Sex

January 24, 2016

My favorite thing of all time is a New York City weekend when there’s a blizzard. Everything gets really quiet, and everyone goes to the movies and the park.—Idina Menzel

Stop and think: do you really want to be handcuffed to that person if the power goes out?

This has been a crazy weekend, has it not? New York is reporting 26.8 inches of snow, officially; the second largest snowfall since 1869. The #JonasBlizzard logged the most snow ever in Baltimore, second heaviest at Dulles International Airport. In keeping with tradition, no one knows exactly how much snow fell in Washington, D.C., because they’re still arguing over how to measure the white stuff. The good news is that at least the snow has stopped falling. The bad news is that now comes the problem of getting rid of the frozen wonderland. Flooding has already started in New Jersey and several other areas. It could still be several days before the majority of roads are passable and people’s lives are back to normal.

Of course, as Idina mentions above, a little snow doesn’t stop New Yorkers. By the time you’re reading this, New York’s travel ban should be lifted and people will be getting out, making their way to Central Park, and trying to make the best of the situation. Aged rock star Steven Tyler even found a CNN live report to bomb, which may actually be one of the most interesting things to happen in the past 24 hours.

One of the biggest challenges now is avoiding bad sex and keeping yourself from participating in the seemingly inevitable spike in births currently scheduled for late September. Sure, I know we told you to make new friends to help keep you warm, but do you really want these people to hang around all summer, smelling things up, putting their stinky feet on your coffee table, and taking over your life in ways you never imagined? No, of course you don’t. The last thing you want is to encourage your blizzard buddies to linger by having sex with them. Even worse, you definitely don’t want to have bad sex with them and chances are high that any sex you would have at this juncture would not be the best ever. Let’s not make this blizzard any more of a disaster than it already is, okay?

Don’t worry, we’ve got your back, metaphorically speaking. Here are some tips you can use to avoid having bad blizzard sex.

Don’t. Just don’t. For the love of warm bagels and cream cheese, show some restraint for once why don’t you? Do you really want to risk going into the fall with a newborn, or a partner that acts like one? Having sex with someone you didn’t know well before the blizzard destroys any chance for you to have a long and meaningful friendship. Two days in the snow is not enough time for you to really get to know each other, no matter how many secrets you spilled after you were three beers into Friday night. Don’t go there. Don’t. Stop it. Don’t even entertain the idea.
Stay ready for further emergencies. Just because the snow has stopped falling doesn’t mean the worst of this blizzard is over. There will be flooding. Power outages may still happen. You might need to evacuate quickly and without warning. Stop and think for a minute: do you really want to be handcuffed to that person if the power goes out? Would you want first responders breaking down your door and finding you struggling to get back into your footed pajamas? No, that isn’t a risk you dare take. You must remain alert and vigilant until your guest(s) leaves.
Keep all your adult toys well hidden. Despite the weel-long warnings that this was going to be a “blizzard for the ages,” no one really prepared for the thing until late Thursday afternoon. You may not have picked up your stray friend until Friday. Nothing says bad sex like someone discovering your box of sexual indulgences and asking, “What are these?” Even worse is the question, “Can you show me how these work?” Now is not the time for you to take up teaching remedial sex education. Should your temporary body heat buddy come across your stash, pretend they were left by a former roommate and then, for added measure, suggest they could be covered with some STI. That should keep you safe.
Use Netflix to determine their sexual maturity. This one might be a bit complicated for some of you, so pay attention. From within Netflix, enter category number 1402, which takes you to Late Night Comedies. Be sure, there is nothing here that is socially redeemable or actually funny. These are disastrous films made for adolescent minds. So, as you’re scrolling through the list, should your would-be partner give any indication that they’ve not only seen but actually enjoyed any of these movies, you definitely don’t want to have sex with them. If you are unsure, start one of the movies. If they giggle at the first sight of bare boobs, you know you’re in trouble. Kick them out into the snow. Now.
Go for a walk in the snow. This is the real reason you find all those people in Central Park after the city gets socked in. You’ve been cooped up with this person (or these people) since Thursday or Friday. Your decision-making ability is not as strong as it should be. Get out, taking a walk, cool down. The cold air will help you snap to your senses and remind you of all the things that could go wrong if you have sex with this person. Can they even tell the difference between a tube of lube and a tube of toothpaste? What would happen if you had to introduce this person to your mother? Walking in the snow is great for clearing your head, and if you’re lucky maybe the dimwit will get lost in a snowbank and you won’t need to worry any further.

Hopefully, that is enough to engage your creative juices, as opposed to those associated with adult copulation. Obviously, if you are sequestered with someone you already love and cherish, nothing here applies. We still encourage restraint unless you really want a September baby. Maybe you’ll get lucky and your Ob/Gyn will have a half-price sale due to all the volume. One thing for sure, though, is that sex with someone you just brought in from the cold is definitely not going to be good. What happens in your fantasies doesn’t exist in real life.

Perhaps it’s time to warm up another frozen pizza. Good luck.

Music / PotD

If Musicians Would Stop Dying

January 19, 2016

Like family, we are tied to each other. This is what all good musicians understand.—Billy Joel

Beautiful music is timeless, but the musicians creating that music are not

Tuesdays are beginning to annoy me. Traditionally, major music labels drop new songs and new albums on Tuesday, so that is how I plan my day’s soundtrack. Some weeks I hear some really great stuff, others not so much, but that’s part of the joy. This year, however, this 2016, is upsetting that plan. Last week, instead of music dropped that day, I, along with nearly everyone else on the planet, was still listening to David Bowie’s final album, Blackstar. We even wrote about it. Now, this morning, I’m postponing new music once again to listen to Glenn Frey’s last album After Hours (2012). If musicians would stop dying for a couple of weeks, I would be most appreciative.

There are some musicians whose deaths are not quite so surprising. Country crooner Mel Tillis has been in critical condition in a Nashville hospital for several days. Had it been his obituary in my newsfeed, I would have been sad, but not surprised. There are several others, rock stars whose lives in the 70s should have dictated early deaths but didn’t, who I suspect are one good bout of pneumonia away from the grave. But Glenn Frey, man, I wasn’t ready.

What’s frightening, is that Glenn wasn’t the only musician to pass yesterday. Within 24 hours, we also lost Blowfly, musician/songwriter/producer whose work many found offensive; Dale Griffin, drummer for Mott The Hoople, one of those bands you didn’t know you knew; Mic Gillette, brass player with Tower Of Power, a band that helped define the sound of the early 70s; and Gary Loizzo, lead singer for American Breed, whose Bend Me, Shape Me put them on the charts in 1967. Loizzo was also the sound engineer for Styx, who recorded many of their hits in Loizzo’s studio.

Of course, musicians aren’t the only ones who seem to be dying at a heavier rate than usual. If you were paying attention, just this past Sunday I wrote about the high number of notable deaths just last week. What makes a difference with musicians is that we connect them so strongly with their music and their music is so strongly connected to our lives. Music is not just something to keep our ears occupied. Music defines places, memories, and even relationships. Is there anyone from my generation who doesn’t have some memory connected to Hotel California, or Take It Easy? When musicians die, we lose more than a person, we lose a connection to a specific time and place.

One might think music fans would be somewhat accustomed to the unexpected and even untimely deaths of the musicians they honor. After all, the 27 Club, musicians who died young at the age of 27, is legendary; from Jesse Belvin in 1960, to Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin in ’70, Kurt Cobain in ’94 to Amy Winehouse in 2011. The list of club members is long enough that every musician should make a big deal of making it to their 28th birthday.

Even when they don’t die young, we lose dozens of musicians each year. Last year saw the passing of greats like B.B. King, Lemmy Kilmister, Scott Weiland, Alan Toussaint, Cory Wells, and about 60-something others. Each year, we can be sure that the “In Memoriam” reel at all the awards shows won’t be too short. Death happens.

Yet, when they seemingly happen one right after another we’re left wondering just what’s wrong with the world. Music gives our frayed world some sense of sanity. As we lose those who give us music, our world feels a little less assembled. Critical pieces are missing. Sure, we still have the recordings and are thankful for them, but knowing the people who gave us those recordings are gone, that there will be no new albums or concerts coming, creates an abscess we don’t know how to fill.

So, here we go with another Tuesday emersed in memories. Glenn Frey left us more than enough to fill the day and enjoy every minute. We are thankful for everything he gave us.

But seriously, musicians need to take a break from dying for a while. Please.

Current Issues / PotD

Still Chasing A Dream

January 18, 2016

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.—Martin Luther King, Jr.

Despite all the advances, racism is still just as alive and well in America as it was in 1964

I hardly know where to start this morning. I have been thinking for the past week about what I would write this morning, and all that has done is left me angry that I should need to write anything specific at all. Here we are at yet another Martin Luther King, Jr. day, and I would be hard pressed to define any substantial way in which matters of racism have improved. There are days when I wonder if we’ve actually moved backward.

When President Obama took office in 2009, it was widely assumed that we had entered a post-racial era; we must be beyond racism for us to elect a black president. What the past eight years has shown us, though, is a very different picture. The hate and animosity hurled toward the president, not just in secret but openly and defiantly, has been unprecedented. Over the past eight years, we have seen more public demonstrations of hate toward people of color, any color, than since the civil rights movements of the 1960s.

Over the past eight years, we have come to realize that not only are our cities and our schools still segregated in very real ways, but that the playing field of opportunity is tilted against people of color. There is, in far too many cities and states, a different system of justice for people of color than what exists for whites. The Ku Klux Klan has been allowed to return and the prevalence of armed neo-nazi groups has been steadily on the rise.

There is no justification for such blatant racism. There is no excuse. I’m tired of hearing people start a sentence with “I’m not racist,” and then turn right around and follow that with some form of slander against people of color. I’m weary of having people tell me they’re reluctant to go into certain parts of town because of the number of blacks present. I’m exhausted from seeing white people, especially white people of affluence, go out of their way to avoid coming into contact not only with those whose skin is a different color,but whose religion requires a different manner of dress.

One of the most public, and disgusting slights came just this past week when the American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced the nominees for their annual awards; you know, the ones most commonly referred to as the Oscars. While the Academy is just fine having a black person host the show (Chris Rock), and utilizing people of color as presenters, for the second year in a row every last one of the nominees for major awards is white. There are no blacks up for best actor or actress. There is no one of Asian ancestry nominated in a supporting role. There is no one of Hispanic or Persian heritage anywhere on the list.

What frustrates me the most is that white people just don’t seem to understand how very racist they are. Bring up the subject and they are quick to say something like, “I have black friends,” or “my next-door neighbor is black,” or “I have black employees.” Apparently, too many white people fail to see how condescending their actions are, how they speak to and treat people of color differently than they do other white people.

Racism isn’t something we can just legislate away. Racism is an attitude, a belief system built upon the principle that one group of people are better than another simply because of the pigmentation of their skin. Eliminating racism means doing away with that belief system that has been ingrained within the human race for millennia.

Here’s the rub: scientifically, there is no such thing as race. There is no differentiation of species that make humans from the African continent any different from humans in Asia. Humans in South America are exactly the same as those in North America. Any difference in pigmentation is an adaptive trait based upon the climate and has absolutely no bearing on the species at all. From a scientific perspective, race doesn’t exist; it is all in our stupid little heads.

Yet, here we are, more than 50 years after the fact, still chasing a dream that is rooted in common sense and plain decency. We like to tout our progress while completely ignoring our many failings. We have set aside today to celebrate a dream, but we refuse to allow that dream to become reality. How can we call today a holiday when the person for whom it is named is just as likely to be arrested on false charges today as he was in 1964? This is no dream. This is a nightmare.

Don’t ask me for a solution when the solution is you. The solution is each of us. I can only work on myself. I might try to hold immediate members of my family accountable, but ultimately the decision is one we each make for ourselves. Racism isn’t an accident and until we universally adjust our attitudes the dream can never become reality.

PotD / Social Commentary

When The Fairy Tale Ends

January 17, 2016

Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons: we must fight in order to conquer it.—Alexandre Dumas

Not every day is a good one, nor should we ever expect them to be.

One of my dear friends, Jane, whose birthday I missed yesterday and who writes a most wonderful blog, frequently reminds her students that the versions of fairy tales they see presented by Disney and the like are not true. When Hans Christian Anderson wrote The Little Mermaid, he justifiably kills his title character at the end; that’s right, the little mermaid dies. In the original telling of Cinderella, the evil stepsisters have their eyes plucked out. The tales penned by the brothers Grimm were bloody, vicious and violent. Why? Because such stories were meant to be cautionary tales, warnings against dangerous, self-centered, and inappropriate behavior. Life is not fair, the stories warn, and happily ever after is a myth.

This week has been a painful reminder of just how unhappy life can be. People we have admired, who have entertained us, who have sacrificed for us, who saved our lives, have passed on. Not just one or two people, as we are rather accustomed to hearing, but several people of some noteworthiness, have left us. Here’s a partial list, in case you weren’t paying attention:

David Bowie, sing, actor, and creator of worlds
Ernest Yazhe, the last of the WWII Navajo Code Talkers
Noreen Corcoran, an actress best known for her role in the television series Bachelor Father
Alan Rickman, versatile actor of innumerable memorable roles
Dan Haggerty, actor best known for his role on the television series Grizzly Adams
Andrew Smith, Butler University basketball hopeful
René Angélil, who discovered and then married singer Celine Dionne
Lawrence Phillips, promising NFL player caught up in violence
Brian Bedford, Tony award-winning actor known for his productions of Shakespeare
David Margulies, character actor best known for his role as the mayor in the original Ghostbusters movie
Otis Clay, Blues Hall of Fame member and Grammy nominee
Pete Huttlinger, Master guitarist known especially for his work with John Denver
Daniel Dionne, brother of Celine Dionne, died two days after her husband
Michael Galeota, actor best known for his role in the Disney Channel Original Series The Jersey

All those people, gone in the span of seven days. There were more, of course. Many died whose names are not so familiar to us. On Friday, a terrorist attack on a Burkina Faso hotel left at least 28 dead, including an American missionary. All around the world, in every hospital in every city, families gathered as loved ones, some old and suffering, some never really having a chance at life, moved on.

So much for a fairy tale with happy endings. This week seems to have gone out of its way to show us that there is no “happily ever after.” Even the lives that seem the most wonderful and glamorous, those who appear to have everything in the world going their way, still die.

What, then, shall we do when the fairy tale is over? When we have run out of tears to cry and are weary from mourning, how do we face this incredibly cruel world? Any good reader should know the answer to that question. When one fairy tale ends, you start another. Tragedy is the platform upon which the foundation of comedy arises. The ending of one story, or one set of stories, prepares us for the beginning of the next.

Yes, it is true that even the next story likely ends with its main character’s demise, but every story is worth the telling. There are lessons to be learned even in the most heart-breaking situations. We do not stop here. We keep going.

I have been distantly following the continuing saga of Cory and Joey Feek, as have millions of others. I’m not going to sit here anre pretend that I was ever a fan. I’m not big into contemporary country music, and until their lives took a tragic turn I’d not even heard of them. Now, it appears that Joey’s story is nearing its end. When it does, headlines will focus on the love of a mother for her daughter, and a husband for his wife, and many will share in their grief. What’s important is that we realize that there is a story that goes onward. Their daughter, Indiana, is just beginning her story, even as her mother’s is ending.

While it is easy to become emeshed in the stories of others, however, we must remember that we are the ones writing our own stories. While our tales may be entertwined with those of others, we are ultimately the authors of our own fates. Even in circumstances where we might not have control of when or how our story ends, we still decide through the way we live and the decisions we make whether our fairy tale is tragic or happy.

2016 seems to be getting off to a very rough start, but perhaps this is this universe telling us that we need to focus more on the future, not the past; that we should focus less on the lives lost and more on those still living. Not that we don’t remember those who have died, but we realize that their passing is but the end of a chapter, not the whole book. The fairy tale is not over. There is so much more to be written and it is up to you to do the writing.

Advertising / Fashion

When An Editorial Isn’t

January 16, 2016

There is no need for advertisements to look like advertisements. If you make them look like editorial pages, you will attract about 50 percent more readers.—David Ogilvy

Not every editorial is what it seems

Editorial spreads are the meat of any fashion magazine or website. These creative pieces show us the latest fashion and stir our imaginations with romantic and exotic dreams of what life is like when one is wearing clothes from labels such as Armani, Prada, Dior, and others. Editorials are the primary reason people buy fashion magazines in the first place. Even more, fashion labels rely on those editorials to advertise their goods. When we see an editorial that excites us, we’re more likely to buy those styles.

David Ogilvy wasn’t the first advertising executive to think of placing ads that look like an editorial. He was, however, masterful at knowing where to place them. He worked with publishers such as Condé Nast, publisher of such fashion titles as Vogue and Vanity Fair, to not only place editorial-looking ads within the pages of the magazines, but on the covers as well.

Yes, my friends, covers can be bought. They’re not cheap, of course, and publishers are understandably reluctant to admit that what should be an editorial decision is based more upon the size of someone’s checkbook. In fact, it has long been known among advertising insiders that the cover of Vogue comes with a substantial price tag, though publicly the magazine’s editor in chief, Anna Wintour, will adamantly deny such.

At the same time, we all know that tie-ins are crucial to marketing a new movie and the much-anticipated Zoolander2 has the best fashion tie-in potential of any movie since, well, the original. Already, we’ve seen Derek Zoolander and Hansel walk in Valentino’s Fall 2015 runway presentation. That act alone seemed over-the-top and was the talk of fashion week the rest of the season. This week, however, the movie scored the ultimate tie-in when it was announced that Zoolander would appear on the February cover of Vogue, complete with an “editorial” spread shot by Annie Leibovitz.

Vogue

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that Zoolander is a lot of fun in an industry deserving more than a little parody. Even more, the success of the first movie enabled actor/producer Ben Stiller to gain the cooperation of almost every designer and fashion editor they approached. As a result, we can expect the second movie to be a veritable who’s who of fashion’s top personalities.

Getting the cover of Vogue, however, is an impressive coup. Ms. Wintour guards the cover of the brand’s flagship publication with no small amount of severity. There is no greater standard for fashion importance than Vogue’s cover. Anyone who thinks there wasn’t some form of deal between Stiller and Wintour is naïve. While it’s doubtful that Stiller simply wrote a check in return for the obvious favor, one can expect the film paid significantly for use of the brand’s name throughout the movie, and any number of other financial considerations may have been applied as well. The options are many.

What the move underscores, is how fashion is not now, nor ever has been, the level playing field some expect. When the Internet first began uncovering the ability of e-commerce to elevate the visibility of smaller brands, some thought it might become the great equalizer, that new, young designers might be able to make a name for themselves without putting in the years of thankless assisting at established houses. That dream has proven to be untrue, however, and this Vogue cover is a perfect example of why there never will be such an equalizer between small and large brands. So long as money and influence can buy editorial space in the most influential of magazines and websites, smaller players don’t stand a chance.

All that being said, I’m looking forward to seeing the movie, which comes out right smack in the middle of the Fall 2016 ready-to-wear runway season. I fully expect to see multiple additional tie-ins, and perhaps even personal appearances, at more shows. Stiller does a great job of poking fun at the industry and we all do well to take ourselves a little less seriously, though.

Let there be no mistake, however, this cover was purchased. Advertising wins.

Current Issues / PotD

Lottery Lost, What’s Next?

January 14, 2016

I have never played the lottery in my life and never will. Voltaire described lotteries as a tax on stupidity. More specifically, I think, on innumeracy.—Daniel Tammet

If you really need to get your blood pumping, there’s nothing like a romp in the snow in your underwear

So, you lost the lottery. Again. Please excuse me if I don’t feel too terribly sorry for you. My opinion of lotteries is right down there with wet shoes and jeans that don’t fit right. Sure, the concept of $1.4 billion is alluring, but no one is going to get that. There were no fewer than three winning Powerball tickets sold. The amount will be divided, half will be taken in taxes, and what’s left will be less than what one might make from investing wisely. What bothers me is that I’m sure there was more than one person who spent their last two dollars on a damn lottery ticket instead of food, and are now both hungry and broke.

The country has been so obsessed with the lottery over the past week or so that its passing leaves a bit of a void in the realm of mindless office conversation. With dreams of telling the boss to fuck off having gone out the window (for now), whatever shall we do? Wherever shall we go? Oh, the hopelessness of humanity! (Please tell me you’re picking up on the sarcasm there.)

I’m not inclined to leave everyone stranded this morning, though perhaps some of you deserve such. So, here’s a list of options for you, carefully crafted over the day’s first cup of coffee, of things you can do today despite not having won the lottery.

Go play in the snow. Make it more exciting by doing it in your underwear. Really brave and daring? Do it naked. Just, uhm, pick me up before you do that last one. We need pictures or it didn’t happen.
Drop by your favorite coffee shop, order coffee, drink it there. Too often we’re in such a hurry that we don’t take the time to enjoy the little things around us. Relax. Sit. Drink your coffee. Maybe even strike up a conversation with a new friend.
Get your hair done. Hair deserves to be pampered when it’s this cold. If you don’t have hair, maybe get a scalp massage.
Have lunch with someone who loves you. Maybe your mother, or a sibling, or a spouse. Call them up, meet them for lunch, enjoy the company.
Adopt a pet. Winter is an especially rough time for strays. Two of our favorite kitties are ones we brought in out of the cold last winter. They’ve now acclimated and become the best lap cats ever. Many shelters are full. Gain a friend and save a life by adopting a new pet.
Try a new cuisine or, at least. a new restaurant. Kat and I are fortunate to have both been around the world and privileged to try many different foods. Still, there are plenty of restaurants around we haven’t tried and each one offers the chance for a new culinary and perhaps cultural adventure.
Have sex in the middle of the day. I’ll leave the details to your own imagination.
Discover a new local artist. There are artists everywhere, even in smaller communities. Look around, ask your local arts organization. Meet someone creative and maybe even buy something. They’ll appreciate your time and patronage.
Read a book; it doesn’t even have to be a new one. I can think of no better way to spend a moment’s down time than to pick up a book and read a few pages. Your brain really could use the exercise.
Have your picture taken! Okay, so not every photographer you know is going to be available on such short notice, but I know I have openings today and I’m guessing a number of my colleagues do as well. As with our first suggestion, you can always make it more exciting by doing it naked. In the snow. Contact us.

See, you have options! Okay, so they don’t involve quitting your job and buying an island in the Caribbean. You really don’t want all that hassle anyway. Relax. Enjoy the life you have instead of wasting time wishing for you one you don’t. You don’t need to win the lottery to have an amazing and rich life.

pop culture / PotD

Mansion For Sale: Relics Included

January 10, 2016

Why so large a cost, having so short a lease, does thou upon your fading mansion spend? —William Shakespeare

We can supply nudes for your viewing pleasure, but we can’t replace the mansion

Playboy Enterprises CEO Scott Flanders has apparently dedicated himself to ridding the company of everything that represents founder Hugh Hefner. Last fall, the company announced they were going to stop printing nudes in their flagship magazine. Now, they have put the iconic Playboy Mansion up for sale with one catch: You have to keep Hef.

Actually, the arrangement isn’t really all that unusual for such an estate. Hef has lived in the mansion forever, or at least it feels that way. So, the contract stipulates that Playboy’s founder be allowed to continue living in the facility until his death. My, that’s mighty nice of Mr. Flanders, isn’t it? If I were Hef, I’d have someone start testing my food for poison, ASAP. Flanders can’t seem to get rid of everything that represents the magazine’s founder fast enough, and given the current course of action, one has to think that might include the once flamboyant Hugh M. Hefner himself.

Ostensibly, Flanders is looking to streamline the company in desperate search of the profits it had when Hef was at the helm. That would seem to be a normal and practical business move. What Flanders apparently fails to realize is that with the magazine, the mansion, and the clubs, Hef created the ultimate male fantasy and it was the pursuit of that fantasy that fueled the company’s success.

Let’s be fair, Hef wasn’t necessarily the best business person in the world himself. He had to shutter the famous clubs during the 1970s when they began hemorrhaging cash. Hef didn’t understand that even exclusive private clubs have to adapt to changes in society and in failing to do so he had no choice but to kill part of the dream himself. Playboy’s had to make a lot of other difficult decisions as well, including whether to get into video (which it did early with great success) and how to handle its online presence (not so good a move). When Hef took the company private, though, it was clear the company’s better days were behind it.

Now, Flanders, the company’s first CEO outside the Hefner family, seems to be jettisoning every part of the Playboy dream possible in an attempt to scale it down to mediocrity. He has long said that he wants to focus on licensing, which would include the Playboy name as well as the rabbit head logo. Does he not realize, though, that as he destroys the brand’s reputation he reduces the licensing value as well? Mr. Flanders doesn’t seem to think that’s the case, but personally I don’t see any other logical outcome.

The question remaining is what will Flanders kill off next? Of all the company’s holdings, there are several likely targets. I think they’ll keep Playboy Golf as well as the casinos, since those are mild, boring, and manage to make a profit. Most everything else, though, from the publishing division to Playboy TV, the Spike cable network, Playboy Online, and Playboy Radio could all theoretically be sold off, with Flanders still bringing income by continuing to license the established brand to new owners. Such a move would remove costly assets while continuing a revenue stream that would likely continue for the foreseeable future.

I think what bothers me is the complete lack of loyalty Scott Flanders exhibits to everything that is physically a part of the Playboy empire. Where he sees only a brand to be licensed and manipulated, the rest of us see the icons of becoming a man; the things that helped us know what to do, where to go, how to behave, as we made the transition for adolescence to adulthood. Playboy kept us classy, teaching us to dress well, treat women like royalty, how to put on a condom, and, oh yeah, those are what breasts look like. Flanders seems willing to throw every last bit of that away, and when he gets rid of the mansion he will, effectively, be getting rid of Hef as well.

Flanders is asking for $200 million dollars for the estate, but given the liabilities and the fact that Hef may live another 20 years, as well as the location, he’ll be doing well if he gets a third of that price. Still, if I were lying in Hef’s place right now, I’d sure be careful about who was preparing my food. Scott Flanders doesn’t seem to be much of a friend.

Watch your back, Hef.

PotD / Social Commentary

Sympathy For The Masses

January 9, 2016

To desire and expect nothing for oneself and to have profound sympathy for others is genuine holiness.—Ivan Turgenev

Life is not always as comfortable as it appears

I’m wondering this morning how many people consider themselves sympathetic. I’m not talking about how we feel when someone dies, though certainly we could use more sympathy there, but more along the lines of what the Oxford dictionary refers to as, “understanding between people; common feeling.” Sympathy for our fellow humans, for the people right around us, and especially for those we perceive to be different from ourselves, appears to be in a drought.

For example, being a Saturday, one’s expectations might be that people have the day off, their weekend free, two days of leisure available to them. Yet, according to the U.S. Department of Labor, at least 35% of us work on the weekend. Most of those working weekends are in retail, food service, or sales, which is of little surprise. Of those working weekends, though, more than half of those have more than one job, and that particular statistic has grown substantially over the past ten years. I wonder, as we snarl at how slow a waitress seems to be moving or complain about the number of registers open at the market, if we might do well to show a bit of sympathy for those who are overworked, lacking sleep, struggling to make ends meet, but are still expected to smile and meet the petty demands of customers.

I also think about those around us who deal with persistent pain that we never see. When I was a boy, I fear there were too many times when I thought less of my mother because her arthritis forced her to ask for help. While that attitude reversed itself by the time I was an adult, it is only as I find myself frequently in that same predicament that I truly understand how deflating it feels to have to so often ask for assistance. I know many others who deal daily with chronic pain brought on by a plethora of issues; they smile, they rarely complain, they would rather you not know how they’re really feeling. Yet, when they can steal a moment to themselves, they break down and cry in the silence. Do they not deserve sympathy?

As a general population, I fear we have become so incredibly selfish and self-centered that we’ve lost our sympathy for our fellow man. We deride those who struggle. We make fun of those less fortunate. We even delight in placing obstacles in the path of those trying to better themselves. We would rather strip people of their dignity than put an arm around their shoulder and help them out of the ditch into which they’ve fallen. Instead, we chide them for having dared to fall into that ditch in the first place.

Our lack of sympathy became painfully evident in the past week with a local news story that went viral. A woman complained to a local bar that her New Year’s Eve was ruined by what she mistakenly assumed was a dead drug addict being carried from the bar. Her words were scathing and mean as she not only derided the bar, but her over-worked server. When the bar’s manager came back with a scathing reply, explaining that the “dead addict” had in fact been a 72-year-old woman having a heart attack, the entire Internet cheered that the rude woman had received her comeuppance.

There is a shocking lack of sympathy in that story, first from the woman making the complaint, who was so caught up in how “horrible” her night was that she felt compelled to share her anger on social media. Her words were insensitive and uncaring and the manager’s response was sufficient in correcting that wrong. However, we, as a society, are not happy, apparently, until we’ve taken things too far. As the story became one of international interest, people around the world went out of their way to humiliate the woman making the complaint, even inundating the salon where she rented booth space. Notice that I’m using the past tense in that sentence. Because of the severity of the response, the salon canceled her booth rental. The woman now gets to start 2016 without any income.

“She got what she deserved,” is the common response, but did she? She deserved to be corrected in the same manner as she complained, and that happened rather swiftly. But to think that she, or anyone, deserves to be shamed internationally, to have financial harm inflicted not only on her but on others, who worked at the same salon, demonstrates a global lack of sensitivity, compassion, and sympathy even greater than that which she exhibited herself. Some have said, “I hope she’s learned her lesson,” and I would assume she has, but clearly the rest of the world has not. There is no good reason for the shaming to continue nor for her name to be dragged through the mud of international media.

Throughout my life, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, errors in judgment, outright acts of willful ignorance. Chances are pretty damn high that you’ve done the same. None of us are proud of those moments. We learn our lessons, hopefully, and move on. We all work hard. With the economic devastation of the middle class, the number of people struggling just to put food on the table has increased, despite yesterday’s news that the economy added 292,000 new jobs in December. Simply having a job, or two, is not necessarily sufficient for sustaining a reasonable quality of life.

For 98 percent of us, life is a continual race from one challenge to another. We all have our struggle. We all experience pain we don’t talk about. So doesn’t it just make sense that we should have sympathy for the masses that share our common condition?

A little sympathy and caring goes a long way. Try it.

PotD

Sunday Of Sanctity

January 3, 2016

My mother always kept library books in the house, and one rainy Sunday afternoon – this was before television, and we didn’t even have a radio – I picked up a book to look at the pictures and discovered I was reading and enjoying what I read.—Beverly Cleary

Growing up in the home of a Southern Baptist minister meant Sundays were anything but calm or quiet. There was a fairly precise schedule to the day: Up at 7, showers, dressed, breakfast, family devotions, all before 8:30 in the morning. There would be Sunday School, then church, then around 6 or so in the evening, depending on the time of year, Training Union, which became Church Training in the 70s, then evening services, then often a rather pointless choir rehearsal and sometimes a youth activity. The day was full.

What little “down time” there was on a Sunday came in that brief period after lunch (which Mother typically had prepared for dining as soon after the service as possible) and the snack that passed as dinner before heading out to church again. This time was for napping. Always. No excuses. Interruptions were frowned upon. Typically, Poppa would sit in his recliner, leaf through the local paper a bit, maybe turn on a football game that he wouldn’t watch, the fall sound asleep. Mother would go to their room and sleep while Squirt and I were given the instruction to, at the very least, stay quiet.

Such a respite only came on Sundays and was almost as sacred as the services on either end of the day. Poppa loathed allowing anyone to schedule anything on Sunday afternoon and on the rare occasion he was forced to do so one could be certain that his mood would not be as pleasant and accommodating as normal. Poppa’s take was that if God rested on Sunday, certainly he meant for us to take a couple of hours to do the same.

As I grew older and moved away from home, my Sunday habits changed. My view of church changed rather dramatically and Sunday became a day that was given to the very respite Poppa tried to squeeze into a couple of hours. I’d start with the Sunday edition of the New York Times, coming up for air and a coffee refill between articles. Brunch back then was less of a social gathering and more of a way to quiet the growing rumble in the stomach without actually admitting that half the day was already gone. I acquired my father’s habit of sitting in a recliner, turning on the football game, and promptly falling asleep. Sunday evenings were for a quiet dinner, maybe some cuddling, reading, or, more likely, laundry so we’d have something clean to wear the next morning.

Now, Sundays are more complicated, less quiet, and too often frustrating. There are too many people who can only shoot on Sundays. The local paper rarely holds any information I’ve not already seen online and even the long-form enticement of the Times isn’t as enjoyable as it once was. I do still hold to brunch because, damn it, I’m not cooking anything before 10:00 if it can be avoided. Laundry is still a must, and so is reading, but increasingly that reading is done through some form of digital media, whether the Kindle or this large-screened smartphone I carry.

The sanctity of Sunday is largely gone now. Kat is frequently at the salon, which means I’m stuck with the kids (or they’re stuck with me). Having time to read quietly means getting up about the same time the party people are getting home. I can make the kids wait for brunch, but they want lunch an hour later and a large snack an hour after that. Sunday afternoon nap? My body aches for one, especially after getting up so early, but the kids would likely burn down the house if I dozed for even a minute. Peace comes only after they’re in bed for the night and by that time I’m rather ready for bed myself.

I understand now, more than ever, the value of a quiet, thoughtful, Sunday. I’m hoping that as the children get older we can hand them a good book and not see them for a couple of hours, knowing they are being sufficiently entertained and, perhaps, even learning something. I can dream. I can hope. I have a library card and I’m not afraid to use it.

We need to allow ourselves downtime; just one day when we don’t intrude on others, nor they on us. May we have one day, please, that is a little more void of noise and a little more contemplative. We need time to re-asses our world, our place in it, and then get our shit together before tackling another week. Not allowing for some sanctity on Sunday is a fast trip to spending one’s vacation either in rehab or the mental health center, and there’s already a shortage of space at both.

Take some time. Breathe. Read. I’ll try to do the same, right after I fix brunch for these heathens.

Photography / PotD

Time To Say Goodbye

December 1, 2015

Unless one says goodbye to what one loves, and unless one travels to completely new territories, one can expect merely a long wearing away of oneself and an eventual extinction.—Jean Dubuffet

Today is my birthday. Unless something dramatically changes, which might not be a good thing, I’ll likely spend the bulk of the day alone. Weather will likely dictate whether I even try walking anywhere. Kat and the kids are at school. The kids will be home by mid-afternoon, fussy, tired, hungry, and destined for an early bedtime. Kat won’t be home until late, though, and I may already be in bed. In many ways, the day is inherently understated and that is not terribly inappropriate.

This feels like a good place to stop. We built this current site in a rush after the previous server totally crashed back in March. Changing hosts forced us into some design decisions we didn’t really have a chance to adequately test and now that we’ve been doing this for several months, we need to make some serious adjustments. There’s no way to do that with the site fully live.

Should you visit over the next month, and we certainly encourage you to do so, you may see things in the middle of transition; not all the links may work all the time and there may even be points where it’s all a giant jumble. When you’re likely to see the biggest change is after Christmas, when we start preparing to take the sight completely live.

You can probably say goodbye to the #POTD as we now know it. #POTD has been fun for the most part, but maddening at times. When we started, I thought I’d just pull pictures from the archives, no big deal. What we quickly discovered is that some of our oldest pictures needed some help to be appropriate for the newer high-resolution monitors everyone is using now. Fixing those images morphed into using special effects and completely re-processing the majority, which was a lot of extra work. IF we continue the #POTD, it will have to be in a different vein that is considerably less effort.

At the same time, I want to leave room to expand our creativity. I’m not sure what all that may entail or how it might be presented, but there almost certainly will be new things on the site next year that we’ve not seen before.

So, with this post, we say goodbye for the remainder of 2015. Thank you for joining us on this adventure. To show our appreciation, here’s a quick review of some of our favorite images from the past few months.

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pop culture / PotD

Surviving THE END Times

November 30, 2015

Nearly half of the American population is eagerly anticipating the end of the world. This dewy-eyed nihilism provides absolutely no incentive to build a sustainable civilization. —Sam Harris

Ooh, it’s #CyberMonday! This is your opportunity to buy stuff at cheap prices without getting trampled by fat ladies stealing rice cookers from three-year-olds! Oh, this might also be a good time to stock up on things for THE END times. Apparently, according to a fair number of people, that’s sufficient reason to panic. I’m not sure I exactly understand why. We’re just taking a month off. We’ll be back in January. Still, you might as well be prepared.

Having Kat as today’s #POTD is appropriate, I think, for a number of reasons. First, she has been a great help with getting through these posts all year. In fact, she even wrote a few of them. Second, this shot is THE END of a shoot we did back in August. Burberry had just leaped from Kat’s hands, having tired of being used as a prop. Third, she’s so freakin’ cute! If there’s one image to carry with you through THE END then this should be it.

But hey, for millions of people who are kicking themselves for not thinking of shooting up a Planned Parenthood first, this whole apocalypse thing is serious business. So, here’s our final list:

How To Survive THE END Times!

Stock up on all the advice we’ve given.
We’ve given a lot of advice over the past several months. Now would be a very good time to go back and begin taking notes. I’m not going to live forever, you know. Well, at least not on this planet. We’ll be posting links to some of our favorite articles on my Facebook page. I’m not saying there will be a test, but you never know when that advice might come in handy.

Bookmark your favorite posts in case of an emergency.
The Internet can be very difficult to index and our site doesn’t come with a table of contents. Fortunately, however, every post has its own unique address so that they can be bookmarked, added to your browser’s list of favorites, with the links stored on your own computer or mobile device. You never have to leave home without me! Isn’t that wonderful? Yes, I thought so, too.

Make sure you like us on Facebook and/or follow us on Twitter
We’re not going to leave you through these END TIMES without resources or ways of communication. We’ll still be somewhat active on social media throughout the month. Those of you into blasphemy can think of it as our holy spirit, or digital ghost, or what have you. We’ll post something at least once a day. Speaking in tongues not required.

Make the Almighty Google your best friend
Come to the Google. Only the Google can save you through eternity for Google is the permanent retainer of all knowledge. Once Google has indexed something, it never really goes away no matter what happens. Websites that haven’t been online for years are still indexed by Google and their images are still viewable in a Google search. All you have to do is enter my name and low, I am with you always, even unto the end of the Internets.

Order my books.
I don’t mention this too terribly often, but you know, I do have a set of books that I actually wrote myself. I didn’t risk “inspiring” someone else to do the writing. I actually created the entire contents myself. You can find them all right here and if you order today, use the code CREATIVE40, you might even get a discount. You can carry me with you anywhere, even without electricity.

Prepare for the possibility of an Internet outage.
I know, it sounds very scary, doesn’t it? Who would survive in a world without the Internet? We might actually have to go back to using libraries and reading books (see above). For those of you who only come here for the pictures, though, there’s another solution: order a print. We don’t have many available, because it’s just too difficult to keep up with a bunch of stuff, but you can get yours now if you act quickly, before the Russians cut the undersea Internet cables or something.

Contribute to my Holiday Sustenance.
This is not an easy task we undertake. There are thousands of options to consider, tens of thousands of images to re-consider. The hours will be long. Time shall be consumed. Our ability to sustain ourselves shall be challenged. If you’re really all that worried, though, we do accept gifts of chocolate, coffee, and most importantly, Scotch. We hold a very special place for those who bring us Scotch. Contact us for details.

Book a shoot for January.
I know you’ll miss me, and for some of you our absence is quite frightening. What if we never return? We will, and you can secure a place right here, in our studio, in front of our camera, simply by booking your shoot for January. Don’t worry about the cold or the inclement weather. We don’t make everyone stand in the snow. We have options. Book your shoot now and know that you have favor with the photographer.

Pray for the Second Coming.
Lo (because it’s too early to be high), I go to prepare a better place, for you. And if I go to prepare a better place, for you, I will surely come again and receive you unto my digital self so that you can feel as though you are here with me (even though you won’t be, really, because we just don’t have the room). Our target date is January 1, but things do sometimes happen. Pray nothing happens. Pray hard.

If all else fails, buy a camera.
We try to be cautious and stay away from danger, but there’s always that slight chance that I might be walking past a local mosque or Planned Parenthood and get taken out by some overly-religious right-wing terrorist wacko, aka Ted Nugent. Should the unthinkable happen, should the Internets completely disappear, you have my blessing to purchase your own camera, continuing in the faith and knowledge that I have taught you well. Carry on in my memory until I return.

Hey, it could happen. We’ve one more day. Be ready.

PotD

8 Solutions To Lousy Sex

November 27, 2015

I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.—Erma Bombeck

Move over, Cosmo, you’re not the only website who can use cheap and tawdry sex headlines to get people’s attention. The difference between our list and those you’ll find elsewhere, though, is that we’ve undertaken years of personal research so we could offer solutions by telling you, with expert authority, what not to do. My only caveat here is that if you are related to me, especially if you’re one of my sons, STOP READING NOW! There are some things family doesn’t need to know.

As for today’s picture, this one is a little over ten years old and remains one of my favorites from when I first moved to Indianapolis. Lovely, open people like this just don’t come along too terribly often and once she moved on there wasn’t anyone to fill the void she left. C’est la vie.

Meanwhile, we have a silly list to which we must attend, which, if nothing else, is better than standing in some stupid line out in the freezing cold:

8 Solutions To Lousy Sex

Stop getting out of bed so damn early to go shopping.
Seriously, where are your priorities? You could actually be in bed, snuggled up with the one you love, ticking that special spot they love, leading up to the best sex ever. But no, instead you are totally wasting your time out in the cold standing in some stupid line and even if your lover is right there with you, this is not sexy and not romantic in any way, shape or form. Geeze. Loser.

Cut back on the food you know gives you gas.
Flatulence is a natural bodily function and to some extent we can’t keep it from happening. However, when you load up with buffalo wings, cheese sauce and cheap beer, what do you think is going to happen? All that garbage you just ate is like shaking up a soda bottle; the gas is going to explode! Why would anyone want to get close when they know that’s going to happen? Why would you even want to do that to yourself? Gross.

For all that is holy, try taking a shower.
While the amount of grooming one does is totally a personal matter, being clean is not and is definitely a reason for lousy sex. In fact, your smell may be keeping you from having any sex at all. Worth noting: this includes those of you who apparently bath in cologne. Stop. It’s not attractive. The best fragrance with which you can greet your lover is fresh soap. Give it a try sometime.

Stop trying all the positions you see on Pornhub.
You do realize porn sex is different from real-world sex, don’t you? Those crazy positions they get in are designed to give the camera a better angle and more light, not for comfort. If you need help with positions, perhaps you should add the Kama Sutra or similar books to your holiday shopping list. Better yet, grab them online and have them shipped so you’re not seen carrying them around in a store; that can be a bit creepy.

Try A Little Tenderness.
Careful, things are rather sensitive down there! Some of the most embarrassing emergency room visits come from putting something down there that doesn’t belong, and yes, that includes hot food. If you’re that damn hungry get a plate. For both men and women, the skin in the groin area is extremely sensitive and no, it is not sexy when you put something stupid down there. This includes champagne and liquor. Don’t do it.

Pay attention to what you’re doing.
I never have understood people who try to watch television or text on their phones while having sex. If you’re that disengaged from that act, you’re not going to have a good time; you’re just going through the motions. Actually paying attention to your lover not only helps the sex, the entire relationship benefits. Explore. Find those auto-erogenous areas above the waist. See how much things improve.

Stay healthy.
No one wants to have sex with a partner who is coughing up a lung or gasping for breath after three minutes. In case you’ve not figured it out yet (and some of you haven’t), sex is an extremely physical activity. Being healthy and in shape factors significantly in your ability to have good, enjoyable sex. And yes, this includes not being overweight. Why? Strenuous physical activity puts stress on your heart. Dying during sex is not acceptable.

Try using a real, live partner every once in a while.
Please tell me I don’t need to explain the benefits of this one. Seriously, though, it’s not going to happen if you don’t get out of that chair, away from in front of the computer, and try meeting people. Clean up. Act nice. Don’t be a douchebag. This is allegedly the time of year for miracles and you’re due. You can thank me later.

We probably could have made this list a lot longer, and I certainly know some people who could use the instruction. I don’t want to overwhelm you, though. Start with these and perhaps we can add more later, when you’re ready. Who knows, you might start the new year happy.

PotD

5 Tips For A Better New Year

November 26, 2015

charles i. letbetter - 5 ways to have a better new year

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.—Benjamin Franklin

What’s this? We’re not talking about Thanksgiving? No, we’re not. Everyone else is doing that. We’re going a different direction, heading for the new year. We’ve only five days left for the #POTD after today, remember?

The whole #POTD concept has created some challenges this year and at times it has been extremely difficult to make sure there were different pictures going up every day. That’s why we’re going to mix up the format a bit next year to give us a little more flexibility. The end result is likely to be more content, not less, but with fewer restrictions as to exactly what we’re posting on any given day. So, there’s one thing right there to look forward to in the new year.

I still am amazed every time I see this photo and am reminded that we achieved this level of tone with just the light coming through the white blinds of a window. I don’t have another set anything close in topic or tone to this one, though, so it has been difficult to find a theme into which it would fit this year. Otherwise, you would have seen it much sooner than now.

Speaking of new years, here’s a list that’s not likely to be duplicated anywhere else.

5 Ways To Make Your New Year Better

Stop believing everything you read on the Internet.
Not only are there more satire sights than ever, there are innumerable websites posing as “news” that are simply nothing but a bunch of lies. Vaccinations save lives, and do not cause autism. GMOs increase production and do not introduce chemicals into the food. Unless you have an allergy or celiac’s disease, you can probably eat gluten. Stop being so damn gullible and paranoid.

Don’t rely on the computer to help you make friends.
Social media is great for keeping up with friends and family, but it’s not the best place to meet new people and make new acquaintances. Get out. Do things. Meet people in person first and then, if they’re not douchebags, add them on social media. Doing it the other way around only increases your anti-social tendencies and isolates you further from the real world.

Do something you’ve never done before.
Most of us are so stuck in a rut we don’t even realize the depth of the rut we’re in. The new year gives you a wonderful chance to at least add a touch of variety by doing something different. Take up glass blowing. Train a cat. Chase ghosts. Train a cat to chase ghosts into blown glass. Almost everyone has something on their bucket list that can be done this next year. Go ahead and do it!

Vote the bums out.
2016, in case you’ve been living under a rock, is an election year. That gives you a wonderful opportunity to make a difference. There is absolutely no reason to re-elect anyone. This Congress has been the worst ever about failing in their responsibility to take care of the American people. State legislatures downright suck. Change that. Don’t re-elect anyone. Just do some research before you vote for stupid.

Read something longer than a damn list.
Ever ask yourself why there are so many lists on the Internet? The answer is because that’s what most people are likely to read. You don’t want to be bothered with details, just short headlines. As a result, you’re growing dumber by the minute. Details matter. Details keep you informed so you don’t support stupid, racists, closed-minded bigots. Go deeper than the headlines. Maybe even read a book or fifty.

I could go on, but statistically lists with more than five points get half as many readers as those with more than five, and those who do read longer lists typically abandon them less than half-way through.

Aren’t you glad I didn’t give you another list of things for which you should be thankful? That’s one list you really should create for yourself. If you’re getting your thankfulness list from the Internet, you need to re-examine your life. Seriously. The new year will be a lot better if you start doing more things for yourself. Consider that a bonus point.

Now, go enjoy the rest of your day.

relationships

The technology keeps moving forward, which makes it easier for the artists to tell their stories and paint the pictures they want.—George Lucas

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Real love is a pilgrimage. It happens when there is no strategy, but it is very rare because most people are strategists.—Anita Brookner

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The human mind is capable of excitement without the application of gross and violent stimulants; and he must have a very faint perception of its beauty and dignity who does not know this.—William Wordsworth

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Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.—Joan Collins

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Tonight I’ll dust myself off, tonight I’ll suck my gut in, I’ll face the night and I’ll pretend I got something to believe in.—Jon Bon Jovi

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Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do.—Potter Stewart

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A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.—Truman Capote

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It seems that whatever we do is somehow beyond reproach – murder, rape, drunk driving – as long as we go on a TV show and apologize.— Eric Stoltz

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Americans try to talk about positive family values, although the actual state of things is disastrous.—Vladimir Zhirinovsky

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We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world or to make it the last.—John F. Kennedy

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I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.—Khalil Gibran

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Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.—Will Rogers

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My favorite thing of all time is a New York City weekend when there’s a blizzard. Everything gets really quiet, and everyone goes to the movies and the park.—Idina Menzel

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Like family, we are tied to each other. This is what all good musicians understand.—Billy Joel

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I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.—Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons: we must fight in order to conquer it.—Alexandre Dumas

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There is no need for advertisements to look like advertisements. If you make them look like editorial pages, you will attract about 50 percent more readers.—David Ogilvy

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I have never played the lottery in my life and never will. Voltaire described lotteries as a tax on stupidity. More specifically, I think, on innumeracy.—Daniel Tammet

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Why so large a cost, having so short a lease, does thou upon your fading mansion spend? —William Shakespeare

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To desire and expect nothing for oneself and to have profound sympathy for others is genuine holiness.—Ivan Turgenev

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My mother always kept library books in the house, and one rainy Sunday afternoon – this was before television, and we didn’t even have a radio – I picked up a book to look at the pictures and discovered I was reading and enjoying what I read.—Beverly Cleary

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Unless one says goodbye to what one loves, and unless one travels to completely new territories, one can expect merely a long wearing away of oneself and an eventual extinction.—Jean Dubuffet

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Nearly half of the American population is eagerly anticipating the end of the world. This dewy-eyed nihilism provides absolutely no incentive to build a sustainable civilization. —Sam Harris

How To Survive THE END Times!

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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.—Erma Bombeck

8 Solutions To Lousy Sex

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Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.—Benjamin Franklin

5 Ways To Make Your New Year Better

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