Take a good look at the photos below and tell me if you see a problem:
The problem? Each of these looks has been touted in my newsfeed this morning as being “inappropriate.” This type of thing happens almost every day (I get some really weird things in my newsfeed). From the red carpet to work to school, everyone seems to have some opinion about what other people should be wearing, and, a lot of the time, they don’t like it. If we were all polite, reasonable-minded people, those opinions would be kept to themselves, as they should be. But no, the Internet exists and heaven forbid we fail to share our displeasure.
Dear fashion trolls: Take your unqualified and unworthy opinions and shove them up your ass so far as to need surgery to remove your fist.
I have a number of reasons for thinking that dress codes of any kind in any place are wrong. I see all this fashion shaming coming from people who have no fashion sense themselves and it makes my blood boil. Let’s consider what is wrong with this whole “inappropriate fashion” idea.
Fashion Doesn’t Appear Out Of Nowhere
Have you ever stopped to consider what it takes to get a piece of clothing into the store where it’s purchased? Whether it’s a name-brand fashion designer such as Versace or some Chinese knockoff found on the floor at Walmart, everything you wear started somewhere, on someone’s drawing board. Those drawings are based not only on the creativity of the designer but on a deep understanding of what is likely to sell. No designer, known or unknown, intentionally creates a garment that no one wants to wear.
Once the garment is designed, it’s shown to buyers. Buyers represent all the stores that are likely to sell the garment in their stores, whether off-the-rack or couture. The buyers know their customer base well and reject any design that is going to take up space and never sell. They only place orders for what their customers want.
Department stores, such as Saks Fifth Avenue, which have multiple stores, have multiple levels of buyers, each of whom makes a decision as to what to carry in their store(s). By the time any garment reaches the final consumers, as many as 20 different people have made a yes/no decision about whether to sell the piece. All these people have determined that the wardrobe they are providing is appropriate and desirable for their customers.
All these people are infinitely more qualified to determine what is appropriate than some overweight troll sitting on their couch snarfing their eighth box of Girl Scout cookies.
Fashion Is A Matter of Free Speech
What you wear makes a statement. Anything that makes a statement falls under the umbrella of free speech. Among other things, fashion choices say things like, “This is who I am,” “This makes me feel secure and comfortable,” or “This is how I want you to see me.” Fashion, at its best, should be a statement of pride in oneself.
Yet, there are too many times when people wear clothes that they don’t like, more layers than could ever be comfortable, because someone has shamed their fashion choice and labeled it “inappropriate.” For example, my 14-year-old daughter always wears multiple shirts and baggy pants to school because of comments she received two years ago. She no longer feels comfortable in the dresses she loved when she was younger. Her speech has been muted by what other people think.
Such invasions into one’s life are despicable displays of immoral character. Sure, you may have the right to criticize someone else, but should you? Do you ever stop to think of the long-term consequences that come with opening your damn mouth? How dare you shame someone who is simply enjoying the clothes that make them feel good?
Censoring Fashion Sends A Negative Message
I have long held the belief that when fashion is censored those doing the censoring are sending an inappropriate message: “There’s something wrong with your body.” There’s a conflict that comes with saying, “Your body was made in God’s image,” and “You need to cover more of your body.” Bottom line, your body is beautiful and clothing should enhance that beauty, not hide it.
How many millions of people look in their closet or dresser every morning and wish they could wear something more fun and exciting? How many people are forced to wear someone else’s idea of what is appropriate? How many people are forced to identify as something/someone they’re not because of the clothes they’re mandated to wear?
The worst censorship of all is the tired line of one’s clothing being “distracting” or “causes people to have inappropriate thoughts. WRONG! You are never responsible for what someone else is thinking or how they act based on those thoughts. If someone has sexual thoughts based on what you’re wearing, that’s a them problem and they need to adjust their thoughts accordingly.
Our society has a difficult time with the old-fashioned and not-appropriate-in-the-first-place idea that if a woman wears something that causes a man to have sexual thoughts she must somehow be “asking for it.” This utter piece of bullshit has dominated our society for far too long. The more we publish ill-conceived articles about someone’s clothing, we give ammunition to the people who would use it as an excuse for sexual assault.
No, there’s nothing wrong with you or your clothes, and it is never your fault if someone else can’t deal with your choices.
Trolling Fashion Shows Your Ignorance
As a photographer, I covered the fashion industry from New York to Paris for a long time; longer than some of you have been alive. One of the many things I’ve learned is that there’s a difference between honest, intelligent design critique and speaking blindly out of ignorance. There are people who get paid well to understand fashion and critique it responsibly. Everyone else is a wannabe.
One easy way to tell the difference is how the person talks about the fashion. The legitimate critic looks at the fabric, the stitching, how the garment moves, how comfortable it may be, how it compares with previous seasons, and how buyers will likely receive it. The asshole says things like, “It’s too daring,” “I can’t imagine anyone wearing that out in public,” “That is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen,” and “No one should be seen in that.”
Ignorance abounds on the Internet and too often it goes beyond the drivel of unrequested opinions filling the servers on the X platform. X trolls are their own brand of stupidity and most people know to ignore them. What hurts are websites parading around as “news” or some other form of legitimate media without any real form of knowledge about any topic they cover. All they do is repeat the nonsense found on X and dare to try passing it off as journalism. I’ve not linked to any of them because that only gives them more oxygen. It is best for everyone if they shrivel up and die.
When it comes to red-carpet fashion, especially at awards shows, one needs to understand that fashion choices are not made in a vacuum. Conversations are held between stylists and designers with consideration given to where a person is seated, the type of seating provided, who they are sitting with, whether the desired fashion has been worn on a similar red carpet, and how the fashion reflects on the personality and style of its wearer. There are no accidents in the choices made.
I have no problems with any of the fashion choices I’ve seen of late. In fact, I quite celebrate the fact that the “year of sheer” has found a delightful home on red carpets around the world. I hope that the trend continues until everyone everywhere feels proud enough and secure enough to wear similar things in their lives.
But for that to happen, the trolls need to shut their fucking mouths and mind their own business, and let people wear what they want to wear.
By the way, have you noticed how no one’s saying much about Morgan Wallen being arrested for throwing a chair off a building and into a crowd last night? Yeah, let’s focus on the actual bad behavior for a change.
Beyond The Declaration
Patiently Waiting (2011)
“I will not be “famous,” “great.” I will go on adventuring, changing, opening my mind and my eyes, refusing to be stamped and stereotyped. The thing is to free one’s self: to let it find its dimensions, not be impeded.” ― Virginia Woolf, A Writer’s Diary
[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]Ah, Monday; that point in the week in which boss’s try desperately to pull employees back in from the distractions of the weekend, and last week, to focus on the work that lies ahead, focusing on what needs to be done next. The task is not easy. When such celebration has occurred on so many different fronts the temptation is to try and keep the party going for as long as possible. After all, who doesn’t like a party? Sure, we know one can’t party all the time, but do we really have to go back to work just yet? Can’t the celebration go on just a little bit longer?
Fortunately, there’s Facebook where we can be as shallow and meaningless as humanly possible and therefore totally deny the fact, on a cosmetic level, that there is work to be done. Half my friends have rainbow-fied their profile picture so that, as more than one person has pointed out, my newsfeed looks somewhat like a Skittles™ factory just exploded all over the place. That alone will keep us from ignoring the important strides that were made last week. Everyone jump on the bandwagon, even if you can’t plan an instrument.
Independence doesn’t stop on one event, though, and for many people today is just another Monday. The kids are off to daycare. The car needs a tuneup. Don’t forget to call and make the baby’s six-month appointment with the pediatrician. Sure, Mommy and Mommy may have gotten married over the weekend, but on a practical level the commitment was already there and this morning, well, it’s pretty much back to work. The presence of a ring on a finger doesn’t change the fact that the newlyweds could, in some states, still lose their jobs, be denied seating in a restaurant, or have difficulty adopting. [/one_half]
[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]Independence is an every day declaration that one will not let the world overwhelm them, that one will not allow themselves to be injured by the biases of others, that two steps forward does not then require one step back. While the label on this liberty may be new, the challenges of upholding this Independence are much the same today as they were this time last week. One still has to stand firm, one still has to be defiant in the face of ignorance, and in some states one might even still need to engage in acts of some civil disobedience to simply get their government to abide by the law.
Look at the date on today’s picture. When it was taken in 2011, what they were doing, having a baby as a lesbian couple, was groundbreaking. They couldn’t marry. Their families weren’t necessarily supportive (some members were, others not so much). Society totally shunned them. Healthcare laws worked against them. At that point, less than 15 percent of Americans said they supported equal marriage rights. For couples like this, the freedom gained last week merges with, and perhaps adds some glitter to an independence that has been growing for several years.
Make no mistake, there is a shiny newness to the Independence now available to our LGBTQA friends, but as they claim that Independence that realize that this is just a marker along a journey that is not yet complete. An important marker, to be sure, but just as that Declaration of Independence ignited some difficulties between those new US citizens and King George III, this Independence also faces challenges. Maintaining Independence is often more challenging that its declaration. Welcome to Monday. Time to move forward.[/one_half_last]
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