Singing provides a true sense of lightheartedness. If I sing when I am alone, I feel wonderful. It’s freedom.—Andrea Bocelli

Creatives can be the life of a party, but there are times we have to be alone.
I realize as I start writing this morning that there is the distinct possibility that what I’m about to say may come off as complaining. I’m not. My purpose here is instructional for anyone who knows, works with, or worse, lives with a creative person. People are attracted to creatives because of their talent, which is enjoyable and frequently entertaining. Creatives can be wonderful company and even passionately romantic. You like us for some very good reasons.
Trouble comes, though, when we insist on being left alone. People who are not creative frequently don’t understand at all, and when two creative souls are paired together it can be a challenge as to who gets to be alone when and for how long.
A recent article on Creative Market explored the topic of Why Creatives Need Alone Time To Thrive and they hit the nail on the head for several points:
- Better Focus on One Single Subject
- More Positive Emotions
- Freedom from Demands of Others
- More Creativity
- Improved Memory
For creatives, being alone is when the real work gets done, even if it doesn’t look like we’re working from the outside. So much of the creative process is done inside the head. No matter whether one is a singer, plays an instrument, writes, acts, paints, or any other creative genre, we spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what we want to achieve and white might be the best way to do so. We need to be free from interruptions and distractions, though, for us to be able to get through that mental process successfully.
As a pianist, in a younger existence, I spent many hours alone in a practice room. Much of that time was spent drilling, going over difficult passages again and again and again until either they were mastered or my mind was exhausted. Yet, an almost equal amount of time was spent being quiet, studying the notes and becoming aware of patterns, staring at the keyboard and thinking about how my fingers needed to move across it, hearing the music in my head so that I could be better aware of the phrasing and nuances necessary.
The quiet time didn’t end when I left the practice room, though. While the clock might dictate that it was time for my body to be elsewhere, my mind would still be occupied with the music. Someone might call to me from across the campus and I would be so totally lost in thought that I wouldn’t hear them. Creatives understood, others not so much. I was charged more than once with being stuck-up and antisocial when that was never my intention.
One aspect that non-creatives often do not, and perhaps cannot, understand is that the creative process isn’t limited to just the act of doing something. Being a photographer, using the obvious example, may seem to be limited to the act of actually taking and processing the pictures. What people don’t see are the hours spent thinking about concepts, the right setting, the best lighting, what poses might work, which model would be best, and the angles from which we might shoot. All of those considerations have to be finalized before anyone else shows up. In fact, many of those decisions need to be made before we even contact someone about shooting. All those decisions are best made alone.
The more visceral elements of the creative process do not necessarily take place where one might expect. For me, going on a long walk is one of the most creative times I have. I’ve known others who would go sailing, or working in their flower garden, or spending time with their pets. What works is different for every creative individual. What’s common across almost all of us is that we do those things alone, and yes, we are working just as hard then, perhaps even more so, than when we’re behind the camera, sitting on the piano bench, or standing behind an easel.
Please understand, when we insist on having time alone, it doesn’t mean we don’t like you or that we don’t enjoy your company. We don’t necessarily intend to be antisocial. If anything, being out and enjoying the company of others often stokes our creative imaginations. We like a good party, or a ballgame, or a day at the beach. Most of us enjoy spending that time with you; it gives us much-needed energy to keep going. Being with other people can revive our passion for what we do.
Still, when it comes down to doing the bulk of creative work, we need to be alone. Please don’t be offended. Please don’t think we’re putting you in second place. Being alone is simply a very necessary and often very welcome part of the process.
We love you for understanding and thank you for giving us the space to be who and what we are.
The Art Of Being Chill
I don’t want to sound like a grumpy old man, but nothing winds me up more than people saying, ‘Chill out’ to me when I’m irritated! —Martin Freeman
Being chill comes easily for many people, but there are some who have turned it into an art form
Like many people my age, I have to deal with high blood pressure. Medically, there are a lot of reasons for having blood-pumping issues: our lifestyles being hectic, our diets being too high in sodium, and a general fear that we might die without having accomplished enough. There are plenty of things that would probably solve all but the worst of blood pressure problems without medication, but that would require we actually alter how we live rather dramatically. We’re not likely to do that, being the stubborn folk that we are, so the doctor gives us pills that try to force our blood pressure back down to a manageable level that won’t kill us quite so quickly.
The pills don’t always work, though. The doctor has increased the strength of my medication twice before and I’m still generating systolic and diastolic readings that are far too high to be safe. Kat keeps telling me I need to chill. She makes it sound so easy. She makes it look so easy. Just “chill.” She drinks coffee and relaxes. I drink coffee and feel the need to take a thousand new pictures. She sees something stupid in her news feed and ignores it. I see something stupid in my news feed and am ready to rip someone’s head off their shoulders. I am so very much not chill.
About a month ago, Forbes magazine published a story Finding Chill in Valparaíso, Chile. The article contains beautiful photos full of the color and culture of this relatively small Chilean city. The author talks about his hotel with hammocks on the roof, the delicious yet inexpensive food, and stray dogs that will walk you home at night (not kidding). Everything in the article sounds so wonderful that I was almost ready to pack my bags and go, until the author discloses that, while there, he tripped on a seawall and broke his leg in two places. That’s a risk I can’t take. Scratch Chile off my travel list.
It seems obvious that I need to go somewhere to chill. Indianapolis is definitely not a chill type of city. We get uptight about almost everything around here. With the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 this year, the entire neighborhood around us is anything but chill. But with Valparaíso off the list, where should I go?
Back in 2010, Forbes also published a list of the most relaxed cities in America. The twin cities of Minneapolis-St. Paul topped the list. They won because they have short commute times, get plenty of exercise, and had good insurance. Note, this survey took place before the Affordable Care Act took affect so that last detail might have changed. Looking through the other cities on the list, Milwaukee, Portland, Seattle, Denver, San Jose, it seems to me that all those cities have experienced some significant change in the past six years. Political changes have ruined Wisconsin. Portland’s population of hipsters has exploded. Seattle has become one of the most expensive cities in the country. Denver won a Super Bowl. San Jose’s Silicon Valley has experienced a lot of employment upheaval while real estate prices soared. Not seeing a number of benefits there.
Music is supposed to help people chill, right? According to the British Academy of Sound Therapy, the song Weightless is the best choice to help people chill. In fact, the song is apparently so effective one some people that the scientists involved in the study recommend that one not drive while listening to the piece. The song, which was specifically composed for this study. starts at 60 beats per minute and gradually slows to 50. I tried listening. I made it about 30 seconds before wanting to shoot something. Weightless has no freaking melody! It’s just electronic noise with carefully constructed pulsing.
From what I can tell, if one is going to master the art of being chill, they need to successfully do the following:
Anyone who can successfully do those things can master the art of being chill.
I’m probably going to die.
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