Random Naked People

Art / Mythology / Photography

Random Naked People

May 1, 2016

It is necessary to fall in love… if only to provide an alibi for all the random despair you are going to feel anyway. —Albert Camus

Even if nudity were legal, we all know damn good and well that very few people would ever just go waltzing down the street naked. Still, the chance that someone might decide to take such a stroll should encourage more people to walk

I passed an alleged statistic somewhere this week, one of those that I can never go back and find when I need it, which said something to the effect that 20% of all American couples in a long-term relationship had experienced a three-way sexual triste or “some other form of kink.” I didn’t have time to stop and read at the moment and didn’t think to save the link, so I have no idea who is making that claim. If it was the Kinsey Institute, which is entirely possible, then I really want to read that study and find out what they mean by “some other form of kink.” I have a feeling their definition is broader than mine.

Human nature is funny in that we all, to one degree or another, are drawn toward those things which we are told are off limits. Even the most ancient mythologies about the beginning of human civilization involve some form of “disobedience” whether it be Adam and Eve in Abrahamic mythologies or Izanami and Izanagi in Japanese mythologies. With both, as well as many others, there is some random “fruit” that someone eats when they’re told it’s forbidden. We all want what we can’t have.

Yet, if we had what we think we want, would we be happy? Probably not. We are motivated by the pursuit of things, even if we don’t know how best to use them once we have them. That includes mates. Ancient bedouins, for example, considered the number of wives had to be a symbol of their wealth. King Solomon, circa 970 – 931 BCE, allegedly had 700 wives and 300 concubines and they called him wise. I might want to challenge that assertion. Do you think he actually knew the names of all his wives, their birthdays, or their country of origin? Ancient misogynists collected wives like trophies. They didn’t know what to actually do with them once they had them and trying to keep them all happy was undoubtedly a nightmare.

That’s why I don’t think allowing for more open, casual nudity in public would actually result in much, if any, change. People are too into fashion, too self-conscious of their bodies, and too afraid of being shamed to just run around naked all the time. Sure, there would be some, here and there, who would take advantage of the opportunity, and that might provide a momentary thrill for a neighboring 15-year-old. But random naked people isn’t likely to set off any kind of a crime spree; incidents of rape aren’t likely to increase (because it’s not about sex, moron), communicable diseases aren’t likely to spread (that would involve some form of contact and they’re really just not that into you), and Beelzebub will not suddenly appear and take over the world (too many have already voted for him in the Republican primaries).

There’s nothing wrong with a little random nudity. So here, enjoy some I pulled from the catalog.

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Mythology / PotD / Social Commentary

Dance Or Protest

May 1, 2016

Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame! —William Butler Yeats

May Day gives us an option: we can either dance, or we can protest. Which is likely to do us more good?

Happy Easter!

Yeah, I know, that wasn’t exactly what you were expecting, was it? But yes, this is the Greek Orthodox Easter. Enjoy the highly decorated eggs.

For everyone else, Happy May Day! You now have a choice for how to spend your day: will you dance or will you protest?

One of the few memories I have of first grade is our May Day celebration. The music teacher organized the event complete with a Maypole, and flowers, and dancing, and May baskets. I remember the bright colors of the Maypole and how much fun it was to dance with all my classmates to the cool music of the lute. We were really into lutes when I was six. I also remember how proud I was of the woven construction paper basket that, somewhat unbelievably now, the teacher filled with candy and flowers with instructions for us to take them home and give them to our mothers. What’s unbelievable about that is not only that the teacher gave us fresh-cut daffodils and candy, but that the candy actually made it home!

There really is no accurate dating of when May Day celebrations began. They are unique to the Northern Hemisphere because if one lives in the Southern Hemisphere one is getting ready for winter, not Summer. The general consensus seems to be that by May 1 all of the plantings would have likely been done and it was a good day for everyone to take a break, celebrate life, and, oh yeah, sex. Pagans tended to be rather big on that part, even though there is some debate over whether that was an actual ritual or not. They called the day Beltaine and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

After centuries of dancing, though, the day took on new meaning during the 19th century when workers chose that day to strike for better working conditions and ultimately a 40-hour work week. Those protests have expanded over the years to include most every form of political statement one would want to make. All over the world today, marches are scheduled in protest of government action, government inaction, and a lack of basic rights and living conditions. Some of the strongest may come in Venezuela where the government ordered clocks set 30 minutes ahead, among other measures, to help save electricity. Greece also seems to be a likely target for protests as the combination of economic and immigration problems keep the country in distress.

The difference between the two ways of commemorating the day is striking. One, the oldest, has a positive message and attitude, one born of joy and celebration, anticipation for the future. The other is born of anger, resentment, and frustration at one’s condition. The two don’t remotely go together. This means we have a choice. Are our efforts best served in the pursuit of dance and happiness and maybe even a little frivolity? Or is our time better spent raising our voice against injustice?

Personally, I choose to dance for a couple of reasons. One, dancing in circles is the one dance I can do well. Give me a brightly colored piece of ribbon tied to a pole and I’ll dance until we’re both dizzy. Second, I’m not convinced smaller protests matter any more. Politicians are too dismissive. The only time a protest seems to work is when the crowd is large enough to be genuinely threatening, and no one in Indiana is quite that passionate about a damn thing. So, dancing seems to make a lot more sense, doesn’t it?

I invite you to dance with me, if you will. We actually have wood in the fire pit, but after yesterday’s rains, I’m going to assume it’s all soaked. And I don’t have a pole or brightly colored strips of cloth. We can still dance, though, even if it decides to rain. Dancing is never a bad use of a Sunday.

Go ahead. Indulge. Dance.

Photography

Left Out In The Rain

April 30, 2016

Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. —Langston Hughes

In the dreariness of a rainy day, we still find beauty, even in things others ignore

I hadn’t planned on doing a second article today, and trust me, this one will be short. I looked out the kitchen window this morning, though, and saw that the kids had left the tricycle out in the rain. Yes, they had been told to put it up, but, being six- and seven-years-old, they didn’t think it necessary to follow those instructions. If we’re honest, few if any of us followed those instructions when we were that age. My father actually backed over my first tricycle because I left it behind the car. Such is the nature of being a child.

While frustrated that, yet again, my instructions had not been followed, I found an odd beauty in the rain on the tricycle. There’s something about the water on the chrome and the metal, the tire in the mud, the drops falling off the pedals and handlebars, that struck me as interesting. So, I grabbed the camera, ran out quickly while it wasn’t raining too hard, and grabbed a few shots.

While processing the images I also thought of how we often leave people out in the rain, so to speak. We enjoy them while they’re being fun and useful, but when we’re done we just leave them out where ever. We don’t bother to see that they’re safe, or happy. We don’t bother to think whether they might be lonely or in need of a friend.

We view too many people the same way children view toys: expendable. Children don’t typically worry about their toys because they assume that Mommy and Daddy will buy them new ones, even though that assumption is likely wrong. In similar fashion, we do the same thing to people we casually meet. We assume that the server at the restaurant, or the floor person at the department store, or the cashier at the grocery, are all expendable so it doesn’t matter how we treat them. Their feelings don’t matter. I’ve seen some treated as though they’re barely even human. We, effectively, leave them out in the rain, discarded without a thought, just assuming they’ll be there the next time we need them.

I’ve felt left out in the rain before. Perhaps you have, too. If so, perhaps you’ll understand the emotion behind these pictures.

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Art / PotD

Suffering In Vain

April 30, 2016

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering. —Friedrich Nietzsche

[Ed. note: Yep, this is a rerun. Family demands just don’t give us enough time on Saturdays to write two new pieces without children going nuts. Besides, there are enough new readers who didn’t get to see this the first time around. Thank you for understanding.]

A lot was made last year of a major league baseball game played at Baltimore’s Camden Yards at which every seat was empty. Due to recent violence in that neighborhood, officials feared it would be too dangerous to allow fans, who tend to get a bit rowdy anyway, into the ballpark. So the game, between Baltimore’s Orioles and Chicago’s White Sox, took place in an eerily silent stadium. There was no one singing the national anthem. No fans clamoring for autographs (though catcher Caleb Joseph pretended to sign them anyway). No cheering when a run scored. For the first time in the history of major league baseball, no one was there.

Performing artists around the world understand. They’ve been facing some of those same conditions for years. Even when the climate for the performing arts was at its best, there were still many venues where actors and musicians and dancers performed in halls designed to seat a couple thousand people, but in which fewer than 100 were actually watching. It is a situation repeated most often in smaller cities, but not completely unknown even in the most famous of places, such as Carnegie Hall. Even Broadway has seen a nine percent drop in attendance at musicals and twelve percent decline at plays.

The National Endowment for the Arts is who keeps track of such numbers, and because attendance and involvement in the performing arts can vary so dramatically across the states and can be influenced by local situations such as labor strikes and local economies, they are careful about making short-term comparisons. However, when they conducted their latest study in 2013, what they discovered was a rather disturbing trend compared to figures from the previous study in 2008. Attendance at more traditional art forms, ballet, classical music, and musical theatre, all dropped. Opera attendance held steady, but I’m not sure that’s saying all that much since it only garnered the attention of 2.1% adults in either survey.

All artists understand suffering and sacrifice. I’ve seen both painters and photographers pass out because of lengthy sessions in unventilated rooms. I’ve seen guitarists and violinists practice until the blood was dripping from the necks of their instruments. I’ve seen pianists and actors fall from the sheer exhaustion of rehearsal. I’m not sure anyone pays as much of a physical price, though, as do ballet dancers. The picture on today’s billboard is a relatively nice one compared to some I’ve seen; toes with no nails, knobbed from repeated breaking, calloused, scarred, and misshapened. By the time a ballerina retires, she often cannot walk without assistance.

While performing artists will tell you that they do what they do out of love and passion for the art, it is still disheartening to put in all the practice, the years of training, the hours upon hours of suffering only to look out into an audience and find no more than a smattering of season ticket holders present. Why attendance is low doesn’t really matter at that point. When one completes a performance one has rehearsed tirelessly for months and the meager applause echoes off empty seats, the heart sinks. At these moments, even the most experienced and stalwart of performers has to wonder why they’ve bothered.

I doubt one will ever actually see a billboard such as this one because it is a bit too unrefined for most performing arts organizations. Symphonies and ballets and theatres prefer a more positive approach because the arts, in their opinion, should be a place that makes one happy, not one where attendance is mandatory out of some form of social obligation. Yet, as that happy approach is not working, perhaps it’s time to take a more realistic look at the matter.

Don’t let their suffering be in vain. Support all the arts.

Advertising / Current Issues / Just For Fun

Friday Follies

April 29, 2016

We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies – it is the first law of nature. —Voltaire

Oh, wait, we forgot to talk about a few things

Oh geeze, it’s Friday already. How did this happen? The lawn needs to be mowed, the house is a mess, the laundry is piled up and I don’t have anything thawed for dinner. I’m so behind on editing I don’t even want to think about it at this point. On top of that, there are no fewer than a dozen topics on my board that we haven’t had a chance to talk about this week. Writing takes up a lot of time and there just hasn’t been enough of that time available.

So, since most everything is somewhat timely, let me see how many of these follies I can reduce and get into one article. You can click the links for full stories in most cases. Or not.

Leica announced a new stripped-down version of its digital camera that sounds exactly like what I need. No LCD screen, no stupid video eating up battery, no wildly high ISOs, none of the stupid filters and shit that all the amateurs think make their cameras cool. This is a real photographer’s camera. One has to know what they’re doing and not rely on presets and the “auto” setting. I like the look and sound of this camera. What I don’t understand, though, is why the damn thing costs over $5,000! With all the nonsense stripped down I would expect a price significantly lower. I was all ready to put one on my shopping list until I saw the damn price tag.

I’ve always thought that, being a child of the 60s and 70s, we grew up with some of the best music ever written. Now, there seems to be some evidence that as, for the first time ever, older catalog music is outselling new music. Some are trying to blame this on streaming services while others say that the whole retro vinyl thing is a factor. To an extent, both arguments may have some validity to them. But, the bottom line, and we all know it, is that older music is just better. Only a fool would choose Taylor Swift over the Beatles or Stones, One Direction over AC/DC or Three Dog Night. We had the best music ever, and now even the kids are beginning to recognize that fact.

Durham, NC ad agency McKinney has the perfect response to their home state’s controversial HB2 law: flush it. To make that action more accessible to people, they’ve printed HB2 on toilet paper. The rest should be self-explanatory. The only problem with the concept is they didn’t seem to make any provision for it being widely accessible. If you write the company, they might send you a roll. You should know what to do with it.

Funniest thing I’ve seen on Twitter all week:

Today I overheard someone say, while on the phone, “well, who took your underpants? Do you have more?” No context given.

— VSESLAV (@Coffinsyrup69) April 27, 2016

Speaking of funny, if you’ve not followed Berkeley Breathed’s Bloom County on Facebook this week, you’ve missed a special collection of real gems. Since Breathed decided to publish his work on Facebook rather than through the creative-squashing syndicate, we’ve seen some delightfully wonderful strips, but this week has taken the hairball (so to speak) as the cartoonist stretched Monday’s World Penguin Day into a full week. Well, almost. Bill the Cat got his dues in today. Still, this week’s strips have been a prime example of why Breathed is a treasured talent.

There, that clears out the most important stuff. Follies are best on Friday, I suppose. That’s the only way the alliteration works. There are still a couple of scraps lying around, but I’ll leave those in case I get desperate over the weekend. The grass on the lawn isn’t getting any shorter with me sitting here. Not that I’m going to cut it. I just need to find someone in the neighborhood who can use an extra $4.37.

Follies. Hehe.

Advertising / Current Issues / PotD

Get With The Game

April 29, 2016

Truth is the cry of all, but the game of few. —George Berkeley

The world has changed. Either get with the game or be prepared to be left behind. We’re not going back

Lika a lot of creative people, I had a tendency to daydream when I was a child. I could get lost in my own thoughts no matter where I was or what I was supposed to be doing, which often meant I wasn’t doing anything at all. Those would be the times, after calling my name multiple times and getting no response, one parent or the other would take hold of my shoulder and give me a firm shake, then say, “Charles, you need to get with the game. You’re holding everyone up.”

Yesterday, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) essentially told the entire United States the same thing: You need to get with the game. The “game” isn’t anything with a ball or rings or mats or fields, though. The game they’re talking about is equal protection for everyone regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation. The message was blunt and firm that cities hosting, or even bidding, for any manner of NCAA event, whether an educational conference or a major game, has to ensure that everyone gets equal treatment. No exceptions. The statement from the NCAA reads, in part:

The board’s decision follows the recent actions of legislatures in several states, which have passed laws allowing residents to refuse to provide services to some people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. While proponents of the laws focus on how they protect religious beliefs, critics have voiced concerns that they create an environment of sanctioned discrimination.

Here’s the thing: the NCAA isn’t exactly known as a bastion of liberal or progressive thought. If anything, they tend to see themselves as protectors of tradition and legacy, taking more conservative positions on the majority of issues. The Board of Governors is made up largely of university presidents who tend to be more concerned with not upsetting major donors, who also tend to be rather conservative in their positions. One can’t blame the influence of liberal media nor liberal academics as the NCAA stands quite separate from either. For the nation’s governing body over collegiate sports to make a statement such as this indicates something very important: society has changed, whether you like it or not.

Oh, but the NCAA wasn’t content to just let it go with sexual orientation and gender identity. They’re taking on some other very important issues. The statement also reads:

The Association now prohibits championships events with predetermined sites in states where governments display the Confederate battle flag, and prohibits NCAA members from hosting championships events if their school nicknames use Native American imagery that is considered abusive and offensive.

In case you’re head is spinning and you’re just not sure what all just happened, let me make it very clear: anti-gay and/or anti-transgender laws and blatantly racist symbols are no longer acceptable. Anywhere. Period. Under any circumstances. Get with the game.

Hold on, we’re not done.

The UK’s Advertising Standards Authority (ASA)announced yesterday that it is launching an investigation into gender stereotyping in advertising. Again, we’re talking about a traditionally conservative body, one that has at times been accused of being too knee-jerk in its reactions, taking a surprisingly progressive move demonstrating a significant shift in what contemporary society considers acceptable. ASA Chief executive, Guy Parker, said as part of the statement:

We’re serious about making sure
we’re alive to changing attitudes
and behaviors. That’s why we’ve
already been taking action to ban
ads that we believe reinforce
gender stereotypes and that are
likely to cause serious and
widespread offense, or harm.

While the ASA’s announcement legally applies only to the UK, advertising is expensive and while some regional changes are often made, global campaigns that run in the UK as well as other countries will still have to meet those same standards. So, word to all the misogynists out there, especially those in advertising: Get with the game. Gender stereotypes are no longer acceptable.

Morals are not something that can be legislated, nor can they be strictly dictated by a mythology. As a society progresses and moves forward, those morals, those social norms, are going to change. Some change willingly. Others foolishly fight change with their last breath. Boycott all you want, protest all you want, elect all the religiously intolerant, inbred, closed-minded legislators you want, society will move forward. Your best move is to get with the game.

To review, the following are no longer acceptable, anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances:

Anti-LGBTQ legislation of any kind
City or venue policies that do not protect race, gender, and sexual orientation
Confederate flags
Offensive Native American imagery
Gender stereotypes

I realize, for some of you, that is a lot of change in one fell swoop. Too bad. Get with the game and start moving forward. You’re holding everyone else up.

Advertising / pop culture

Playing With Our Emotions (Video)

April 28, 2016

charles i. letbetter - playing with emotions

The degree of one’s emotions varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts. —Bertrand Russell

charles i. letbetter - playing with our emotions

We are ambivalent toward a lot of things so advertisers play with our emotions so we’ll be in a mood to buy

We are in that time of year when our moods are more random and our emotions tend to run flat. Our favorite television series are hitting their season finales. Fashion’s busy with fall production and worrying about numbers for the first quarter. Most people who were getting a tax refund already have it spent. Spring break is over and there won’t be any more vacation time until after Memorial Day. To make matters a little worse, with spring comes pollen so everyone with allergies, which is probably half the people you know, feels stuffy and irritable and sleepy from their allergy medication and that still doesn’t prevent them from sneezing and blowing all over the place.

Shopping tends to dip around this point in the year. We are less likely to buy the things we don’t need because we’re generally not excited about much of anything. We have our heads down, working diligently, waiting for summer. We don’t have time for nonsense.

That just doesn’t work for the people who need you to buy things, though. People who are selling products feel exactly the same way you do, but their day gets a whole lot worse when no one is buying anything. So, they pull out the one trick that is sure to get you to open your wallet: emotions. If advertisers can create ads that make you feel something, anything, then you are more likely to buy their product when you finally get around to going to the store.

We’ve been watching the spring crop of ads very carefully and have found some that do a very good job of pulling in the ol’ heart strings. One of the strongest is actually a tradition of sorts. Proctor & Gamble have done a “thank you, Mom” spot for the last four or five years and, of course, we expect those to make you feel nostalgic for an imagined childhood. They really ratchet up the emotional scale this year, though, with an ad using Olympic athletes and showing times when Mom was their rock. The tone is a bit dark, but it hits right in the feels.

https://youtu.be/MQ3k6BFX2uw

So, what if your product isn’t one that naturally appeals to emotions and really needs a boost in sales right now? As in, your product line experienced a drop in sales last quarter for the first time ever. There might be a little bit of pressure to bring those numbers back up. But, how does one attach emotions so something as utilitarian as a phone? Easy: just add onion and hope it goes viral.

https://youtu.be/2gHeBVyqJRo

One thing that the coveted millennial audience gets emotional over is food. The question for Unilever’s Knorr group was whether they could turn people’s love for food into love for each other. The theory was an interesting one. The background for the ad is detailed on AdWeek. In short, the company used food preferences to match singles, then got them together and made them feed each other. Did the concept work? Knorr’s senior global director, Ukonwa Ojo, told AdWeek: “We know that one of these couples [Antonio and Irma in the video], even though that shoot was done months ago, they’re still dating today.” So yeah, love can really happen over shared tastes in food. Remember that when you see the Knorr brand in the store. Here’s the ad:

Not every emotion we have is positive, though, and some ads look to explore emotions such as fear and distrust. Such is the case for the non-profit Liberty Human Rights. They created a PSA that calls into question the far-reaching effects of a proposed British law that would allow government to essentially snoop on all of one’s digital communications, on any device, at any time. They compare that to a stranger coming up and asking to look at your phone. The ad is a touch humorous in its approach, but the emotions being plucked are fear and suspicion.

There are probably about a dozen more ads I could include here, but I think this is enough to make my point. You and I, my dear friend, are having our emotions manipulated rather strongly. Not that this is anything new, but keep that in mind next time you find your hand reaching for a product you’ve never used before and, possibly, don’t really need. Yes, we need you to buy things, but shouldn’t you know why you’re buying them?

Art / pop culture / PotD

Dining Pure And Natural

April 28, 2016

Should I go on playing bridge and dining, going in the same old monotonous circle? It’s easy that way, but it’s a sort of suicide, too. —Antoinette Perry

Sitting around a table with your closest friends having dinner in the buff might sound nice, but is it really something you want to do more than once?

Chalk this one up to yet another idea that would be illegal in the United States. Business Insider is reporting that the London restaurant Bunyadi has seen reservations jump from 4,000 on April 20 to a waiting list of over 28,000. The bad news is that not all these people will get in. Ever. The restaurant, which only seats 46 diners at a time, is only scheduled to be open for three months starting in June. A lot of people are going to be disappointed.

Why is this restaurant that is not even open yet so incredibly popular? It allows patrons to dine nude. You don’t have to, of course. If you’re feeling a bit shy or prudish you can sit at the bar with your clothes on. The emphasis, though, is on everything being natural and pure, from the food to the patrons. With both vegan and non-vegan items on the menu, everything is prepared using all natural ingredients and methods (no microwaves), served on clay dishes with edible tableware. Furniture is made of bamboo and the room is lit by candlelight, which is probably a good thing.

The concept is unique and even at a mid-range price of around $30 per person not terribly out of reach for most people. It seems like an idea that might catch on and move to the decadent United States, but it can’t.

You’ve seen the sign in the windows: no shirt, no shoes, no service, right? That’s there for a reason. The US Department of Health long ago figured out that having naked people handling food isn’t exactly the healthiest idea ever born. Any open sores or wounds, scratches or rashes, can potentially carry bacteria which not only contaminates one’s own food but, potentially, the food of everyone around them. Bare feet that have been walking down dirty, dusty roads are the worst, as they bring contaminants in right off the road. There isn’t a county health department anywhere in the US that is going to approve a permit for a restaurant where everyone is naked. Sorry.

Another limitation to the concept of nude dining is that absolutely no photography is allowed. We can understand why. Among those who are lucky enough to actually get into the restaurant, there are almost certainly to be those who would rather not have their wrinkles and bulges and various details spread across the Internet, which is where we all know the pictures would end up. Not to worry, though.

The concept of dining nude isn’t exactly a new one. Four years ago I asked subjects who were part of another project to bring with them something they enjoy eating. While no one brought a three-course meal, and I would hardly consider some of the choices “pure,” we did get pictures of people eating while naked.

While opening a restaurant for naked people may not be possible here, you can always invite folks over to your own house for private dining and be as naked as you are comfortable being. Just be careful when cooking. Those grease splatters can hurt.

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Advertising / Current Issues / video

It’s Not Easy Being Mom (Video)

April 27, 2016

charles i. letebtter - it's not easy being mom

My mother was a single mom, and most of the women I know are strong. —Regina King

charles i. letbetter - it's not easy being mom

Being a mom has always been tough, so let’s skip the platitudes and recognize them for the tough, persevering people they are.

We tend to think of mothers as being tender, gentle and nurturing creatures who kiss away our boo-boos when we’re little, mend our broken hearts when that first crush dumps us, and cries when we finally get around to leaving home. Certainly, moms are all those things. But your mom is so much more. In fact, I’ve not known a mom who isn’t just as tough, as hard-working, as creative, and as persevering as any man she might come up against. Moms not only know how to get the work done, they know how to clean up the mess when everything explodes in your face. They’re due a bit more respect than what they’ve been getting.

I don’t like losing jobs, but when I see positions in advertising that have traditionally gone to men not only going to women, but going to a mom, I don’t feel I have any room to complain. Not only does that mom deserve the same opportunity as old white guys like me, chances are pretty high she can do the job better and is going to leave all us old white guys in the dust. As we’re beginning to see more women in top executive roles at ad firms, the tenor of ads both for and about women has changed. Slowly but surely, that condescending tone of ads that permeated advertising through the 90’s and well into the early part of this century is beginning to change perspectives and put in its place is one more real and understanding of women’s lives.

For example, with Mother’s Day coming up in a couple of weeks, we’re seeing ads from the usual places beginning to crop up but they’re not all sweet and smarmy as they’ve been before. This ad from Teleflora does a much better job of depicting exactly what all a mom does. Take a look:

In case you don’t recognize the voice, that’s the late NFL champion coach Vince Lombardi’s famous speech on what it takes to be a winner. All those words about grit, being tough, never giving up, and doing whatever it takes have traditionally been applied to football players. What this ad shows, though, is that they apply just as much to your mom, my mom, and every mom who’s ever given birth to a child. The road isn’t easy.

Even in cultures where women have traditionally been treated as little more than slaves, we’re beginning to see some change. I was struck by an ad from India, a place where patriarchy and misogyny still have a strong hold on the culture. Taking on the perspective of a father who sees late in his life just how hard his daughter works both as a mom and a business person and takes on the stereotype of men not helping around the house. Every father-to-be, in every country, needs to see this:

As we pass from a male-dominated perspective to one that is hopefully more balanced, one of the things we begin to realize is that just the act of becoming a mom is more than we’ve ever imagined. Not only is it painful to become a mom, it’s dangerous. A statistic of which I was not aware until late last year is that almost 300,000 women still die every year from complications during pregnancy and childbirth. Think about that a moment and do some math. That means someone is losing their mother at least once every two minutes.

Don’t go thinking that statistic is limited to third world countries, either; it’s just as applicable here in the United States and every time some goddamn holier-than-thou politician introduces yet another idiotic bill limiting women’s access to free and/or low-cost healthcare and birth control, he’s ratcheting that number higher. Fortunately, there are organizations like Planned Parenthood and Christy Turlington’s Every Mother Counts (EMC) program who are there to address the issue of mortality among mothers. EMC operates in seven countries, including the US, to not only bring awareness of childbirth issues, but to partner with organizations to address issues such as poor education, transportation to doctors and hospitals, and supplies. They’re directly meeting the needs of moms like yours and mine every day, and not only do they get little thanks for it but often they are ridiculed and bad mouthed and even threatened because they dare to further the cause and life quality of women.

Seeing more women in traditionally male roles, such as advertising, communications, medicine, technology, and pretty much everywhere else is good for us all, good for our society, and good for our economy. Let us not lose sight, though, that many of those strong womens are also the people someone calls mom. They deserve more than flowers. They deserve our respect.

Current Issues / PotD / video

More Than Mean (Video)

April 27, 2016

I think there is a danger there of being mean to people and humiliating people and embarrassing people just because it might get you ratings. It is a disturbing trend. —Bruce Nash

The only habit of allowing trolls to be mean, especially to women, whenever and where ever they want has gotten out of control. It’s time to stop them.

“Stop being mean!”

That is the Tipster’s response when I put her to bed for the third time. In her six-year-old world, having an 8:00 bedtime is mean; the sun isn’t quite down yet, there’s still daylight, so she thinks she still has time to play. We have boundaries and schedules I am obligated to enforce for her own good, so therefore, in her mind, I’m the mean one.

Raising a little girl in today’s environment. I want her to be as independent and strong as her mother and she shows every sign of having all those qualities. Grandpa Bob tells me Kat didn’t like going to bed, either. Yet, when I look at the world into which she’s growing up, one that demeans and ridicules women just for being women, I worry. A lot. I think I have plenty of good reasons.

Earlier this week, it was revealed that one of the nation’s top software engineers, Jessie Frazelle, received so many death and rape threats that her employer had to hire bodyguards to guarantee her safety. She recently moved to another company and while she has yet to make any kind of statement the general consensus is that she was harassed out the door, that the company knew about the harassment and did nothing to stop it. Last July she wrote:

Ever since I started speaking at conferences and contributing to open source projects I have been endlessly harassed. I’ve gotten hundreds of private messages on IRC and emails about sex, rape, and death threats. People emailing me saying they jerked off to my conference talk video (you’re welcome btw) is mild in comparison to sending Photoshopped pictures of me covered in blood.

Then, earlier this week, Frazelle tweeted:

I lost something I loved so much and a small piece of my soul standing up for myself, and I just don’t know if it was worth it.

— jessie frazelle (@jessfraz) April 22, 2016

I wish I could say this was an isolated problem. I wish I could say this was a new problem. Neither of those statements would be true, though. Being mean to women online is as old as the Internet itself and the toll it is exacting is severe.

The same day that the Frazelle story was posted, The Washington Post ran a story questioning whether 31-year-old Fairfax County firefighter Nicole Mittendorff was harassed so severely that she committed suicide last week. What makes this story particularly upsetting is that the trolls who have continued to hound her claim to be her fellow firefighters. An investigation is underway, but no matter what they find, and it’s almost certain that someone will be charged in this case, the fact that nothing was done to stop the continual barrage of mean comments, that no one was able to sufficiently stand up for her and back the trolls down, incriminates the entire online system.

Being mean, especially to women, has reached epidemic proportions. While this is just observational speculation, I’m willing to be that one could ask any woman with an internet account if they’ve had someone they don’t know say something mean about them online and probably 9 of every ten, if not more, would say yes. I know Kat’s gotten comments, especially when we first started seeing each other. She was able to handle those quickly, though. Not everyone is so lucky.

We laugh when Tonight Show host Jimmy Kimmel has guests read mean tweets about themselves but the very fact we find those tweets and other similar comments funny is a part of what allows the online abuse of women to flourish. Part of the reason trolls say the mean things they say is because they think what they’re doing is absolutely hilarious and that if we don’t “get it” that we need to “lighten up.” There is no humor in threatening to rape or kill women, though. It’s not funny to send them pictures covered in what appears to be blood. There’s no joke behind telling women they asked for it. Every last bit of it is mean.

#MoreThanMean started trending on Twitter yesterday after a Washington Post video was posted where two sports reporters, Sarah Spain and Julie DiCaro, sat down and had sports fans read, out loud, some of the mean tweets the two women receive every day. The effect was emotional and drove home just how easy it is to type things that we never would consider saying to someone in person. The men reading the tweets were clearly uncomfortable and some even cried. You not only need to see this video, you need to share this video. Take a look:

Stop and think. Mother’s Day is coming up in a couple of weeks. Would you talk to your mother like that? Would you tolerate someone talking to your sister, your girlfriend, or your spouse with those words? Not if you have an ounce of decency in you, you wouldn’t. Those of you who have daughters, what if someone spoke like that to her?

Being mean has become so much a part of our culture, though, to the point that we have justified it and built organizations around it, and now embodied it in one of our leading presidential candidates. In a follow-up story on the boycotts we mentioned last week, a new article from Business Insider shows just how much hate and meanness there is around letting transgender people use the restroom with which they most identify. People of color have been beaten at presidential campaign rallies and the candidate has encouraged such mean behavior.

We have created a culture of mean and tolerated it far too long. The time has come for us to stand up, to confront the online bullies, especially those who harass women. We don’t have to necessarily be mean in response to meanness. I think responding with, “If you wouldn’t say it, don’t type it,” is a good start. And yes, unfortunately, there are people who are willing to say mean things. One of them is inexplicably running for president and appears to be winning his party’s nomination. Are we really willing to allow the election of a president who is mean?

This is the primary reason we don’t allow comments on these pages. We tried it a few years ago and even then the mean and rude comments were enough of a problem I made the decision to simply not provide a forum where such statements could exist. I am still of the mind that unmoderated comments are unnecessary and unhelpful.

#MoreThanMean needs to become a battle cry. We cannot allow this culture of mean to continue. Lives are at stake. The lives of people we all hold dear, even if they’re not old enough to be online yet. For all the Tipsters and the Ravens and the Emmas and every other little girl out there who are not yet able to speak for themselves, we need to shut this culture of mean down now.

If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t type it. And confront those who do.

Current Issues / Fashion

Shopping Habits Die Ugly

April 26, 2016

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping. —Bo Derek

You’ve changed your shopping habit and it’s killing a quintessential piece of America

I’m old enough to remember having to go downtown to shop. Back then, all the stores were downtown. They were open from 10:00 AM until 5:00 PM except on Thursdays, when they stayed open late, until 7:00 PM. At least, that’s how it was in the small Kansas and Oklahoma towns we called home. Back then, if both your parents worked, your shopping choices were either Thursday night or Saturday, neither of which was an especially pleasant experience. Just having to be downtown at night could be harrowing.

I remember the first large indoor mall I visited: Woodland Hills Mall, Tulsa. At the time, its location seemed rather far out, well removed not only from downtown but most of Tulsa’s suburbs. There was nothing around but fields and pasture. Shopping there was a surreal experience and we wondered why in the world anyone would want to drive all the way out there. If you were to visit that location now, however, not only is the area heavily populated, it’s had to go through three or four efforts at revitalization to avoid becoming run down.

Recently, someone gave Kat’s dad, aka “Grandpa Bob,” a real treasure: a 1969 Rand-McNally Atlas. Looking at the map for Indianapolis back then, I-465 was only completed on the west side and the primary destination was Lafayette Square Mall. Drive along North Lafayette now and there are times the mall looks completely abandoned and even the few stores that do remain are small, discount-driven stores with goods of highly questionable origin and quality.

Our shopping habits are changing again, and as they do we’re slowly but surely killing off what has become a bastion of American retail and excess: the shopping mall. Already, there’s an entire website dedicated to tracking mall closures. Now, Green Street Advisors, a real estate research firm, is saying that department stores need to close hundreds of locations if they are to have any hope of returning to profitability. In short, there are too many malls with too many department stores and it’s bringing the entire retail sector down.

The plight of department stores isn’t new and has been fairly well documented. Just last week Sears announced it would be closing 78 more stores (mostly KMart stores) this year. Macy’s warned last September that it would close 40 stores this year. We’ve seen this coming for a few years and that has, if anything, accelerated the rate of change in our shopping habits. We’re buying more online and from discounters now than we ever have.

Yet, more closures are needed if these once ubiquitous department stores are to stay in business. Green Street’s report suggests Sears close nearly half its existing locations. JCPenney needs to close approximately 320 stores, while Nordstrom probably needs to shutter 30 locations, and Macy’s needs to ax another 70 on top of the previously announced 40. All this is necessary if the store brands are to remain profitable.

Store brands are likely to take heed to this advice. They’re watching what’s happening to similar retailers in the UK and it’s not a pretty sight. UK retailer BHS went into administration yesterday, a prelude to possible bankruptcy as did menswear giant Austin Reed. And the once popular mall stalwart Aeropostale was delisted from the New York Stock Exchange on Friday after its stock price has failed to break the $1 mark since last September.

All this spells death for traditional suburban malls who depend on large department stores as their anchors. Malls have seen anchors cut the amount of floor space in some locations and even abandon leases in some others. When that happens, shopping at those malls screeches to a sharp stop. Smaller inner-mall stores, which rely on traffic driven by the anchors, quickly fold and leave. The next thing mall management knows, their vacancy rate exceeds 40% and once that happens the end days are near.

Let’s face it, though: no one really likes shopping at the mall anymore. This isn’t the 80s. We would much rather shop discounters such as TJ Maxx or Marshalls and when we do shop a major department store we’re more likely to go in, find what we need, and leave. We don’t have enough expendable income to waste time just wandering around and exploring the mall.

No one has said yet whether they’ll follow Green Street’s advice. If they do, though, you can most likely kiss your mall shopping habit goodbye. With store closures in the numbers that the report recommends, only a fraction of mostly newer malls would be able to survive. Within two years, the entire retail landscape could change dramatically.

I find it a bit ironic that suburban shopping centers and malls were responsible for killing many downtown shopping districts and now those malls are finding out what it’s likely to become obsolete themselves. Few downtowns ever recovered. Mall deaths may be even more permanent.

So, get your food court fix now and maybe make an extra trip to Spencer’s Gifts for those naughty little things. The mall is one shopping experience whose future is not pretty.

Current Issues / PotD / science

Suicide Has Our Attention For Now

April 26, 2016

Our nation has not made the level of investment on a federal level that can have the positive effect on suicide that has happened for the other leading causes of death. —Dr. Christine Moutier, chief medical officer of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

charles i. letbetter - suicide has our attention now

We’ve callously tried to ignore suicide for years but as the numbers go up we have to pay attention

We’ve all known someone who didn’t make it. Suicide hit close to home again a couple of weeks ago when the owner of the restaurant where Kat and I have our infrequent lunch dates decided he couldn’t go on. That was not the first such incident either of us has encountered, though, and the numbers are going up.

Suicide has our attention now. With the release of the CDC’s latest report last week, news and media outlets jumped on the unexpected and alarming news that suicides in the United States have jumped, overall, by a whopping 25 percent since 1999. Statistically, that 25 percent is frightening enough, but when the numbers are broken down into specific groups the fear factor spikes. Just take a look at some of the larger increases:

Suicide among Native Americans increased a dramatic 89% among women, 36% among men.
Suicide among white women increased by 60%.
Suicide among white men increased by 28%.
Suicide among girls ages 10-14 tripled.
Both women and men between the ages of 45-60 saw increases of 63% and 43% respectively

There almost seems to be one bright spot in that deaths among black males is one of the few areas that saw a decrease. Oh, but wait, that group has seen a severe increase in homicide over the same period, which more than offsets the suicide statistic.

There’s also a disturbing shift in the mode of suicide. While firearms and poisoning (which includes drug overdose) are still the most common methods, suffocation (hanging) incidents increased by 25 %.

When faced with this topic, the first question out of our mouths is almost always, “why?” The truth is, we don’t always know, but looking at the economic divisions we see that suicides were higher in all age and gender groups where income and economic opportunity were lowest. Even with the passing of the Affordable Care Act, which wasn’t fully implemented until after the study’s end date, availability of mental health care among the poor is exceedingly scarce. The entire psychiatric field relies almost entirely upon insurance receipts and mental health care is one area where insurance companies risk significant loss because of the need for ongoing treatment. Insurance looks to cut its losses by limiting coverage and raising rates, which, in turn, means that those most at risk are least likely to get the help they need.

We also know that there is an increased sense of desperation across the country and social media may be feeding into that problem. Young adults seem to be especially prone to this problem as pressures from parents are high to get a job, even though entry-level positions can be difficult to find. An increase in the importance of standardized testing at school increases the emphasis on academic performance. Meanwhile, when looking at Facebook and Instagram all one seems to see are photos of other people going to concerts and on expensive vacations and buying expensive clothes. This isn’t motivating. Instead, feeling that they are the only ones in their group not succeeding leads to a sense that they never will succeed and might as well stop trying.

Depression is a well-known factor in one’s decision to end their own life, but what we can extrapolate from this study is that the causes of depression are increasing and the depression itself is more severe. Women suffering through long periods of gender and pay inequity increases rates of depression. Repeated loss of employment, long-term unemployment, and seeing their skill set become irrelevant are among the major causes of depression among middle-aged men. General concerns about safety, ability to care for families, pressure to conform to societal standards and the feeling that government isn’t helping are all contributing factors.

With this, our attitudes toward suicide are slowly changing. The death of comedian Robin Williams brought the topic to the forefront of conversation for a moment and we slowly began to realize that the conversation we were having wasn’t the right one. Still, we find ourselves unsure what to do, how to help, or what to say when we fear that someone we know may be suicidal. Based on what we are beginning to understand, here are some tips to keep in mind.

Keep the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in your phone: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Be aware of any signs of abuse and/or bullying as these are leading factors across multiple groups
Don’t be afraid to say something. Posting “I wish I had known” on Facebook after the fact doesn’t help anyone.
Learn how to listen. Listening, keeping your mouth shut, avoiding platitudes or empty advice, are valuable traits.
Know what to say. There are numerous resources online to help. You already know someone who needs help. Be ready.
Suicide is not “the cowards way out,” nor does it negatively affect one’s spiritual situation. Don’t even go there. Guilt doesn’t help.
Consider how your own actions may be making someone else’s life difficult. The words we say, the way we treat others, are all factors.

Now that suicide has our attention, let’s do what it takes to reverse course. I’m not naive enough to think that every suicide is preventable, but there is a lot we can do to reduce the number. We can no longer feign ignorance or pretend that the issue doesn’t apply to anyone we know. We have an obligation, if not to society, at the very least to our friends to put this issue on the front burner. We don’t have to wait for medical science to come up with a cure. For a significant number of people, we are the cure.

There’s no downplaying the severity of suicide any longer. Now, we do something.

pop culture / PotD

Rewards For Surviving

April 25, 2016

The rewards of freedom are always sweet, but its demands are stern, for at its heart is the paradox that the greatest enemy of freedom is freedom. —Os Guinness

As frustrating and maddening as our lives can become, there need to be rewards along the way for simply surviving

We often find ourselves on Monday morning thinking through the events of the weekend and shaking our heads. Sure, there were some good moments, but those were peppered with the bad, the ridiculous, and the downright frustrating. If there are supposed to be rewards for working hard and persevering, they didn’t necessarily seem to choose this weekend to show up. Consider:

Two women were shot last night on Indy’s East side. Both are in stable condition.
A Two-year-old drowned in a neighbor’s pool.
Yet another person was shot and killed at a Westside apartment complex. Apartments are becoming battle zones.
For the second time in a week, human remains were found in the White River.
Six armed robberies were reported in one night, mostly aimed at women.

I ‘m not sure whether that’s enough to make one want to turn right around and go back to bed or pack up and move somewhere a little less populated. I don’t think Indianapolis is really any worse than any other major city. There are times when the universe decides to dump a whole lot of bad on us at once. When that happens over a weekend we get to Monday morning staggering, feeling as though we’re hung over from a party we don’t remember attending.

During times like this, it can be really difficult to keep focused on long-term goals. When surrounded by the negative it becomes difficult to imagine that anything positive is ever going to happen. Our brains understand that if we keep moving forward, doing the things we know we have to do, that we will eventually succeed. Our emotions don’t necessarily buy that argument, though, and Mondays seem like a very good time to tumble into depression and not come out.

Generally speaking, utilizing a system of rewards and punishments has proven to be less than effective, especially in educational matters. However, I remain convinced that when we feel as though the universe is punishing us for merely daring to exist we deserve rewards simply for managing to survive. I worry every time Kat visits a friend who lives in an apartment complex or drives on I-465. She deserves rewards for surviving both those experiences. The kids were non-stop narcissists over the weekend. We deserve rewards for letting them live.

You, of course, have your own troubles and challenges and you, too, deserve your own rewards. The problem is, it’s Monday. We can’t exactly go skipping work or whatever simply because we need to recover from the weekend. So, here are some ideas for rewards you might give to yourself that won’t dramatically interfere with the rest of your day.

Donuts. Indy is blessed with a wide selection of donut shops. Yelp lists over 20. That should, in theory, put one near you. Even if it doesn’t, there’s always the Krispy Kremes at your local Speedway. The sugar will help launch you into whatever comes next.
Beer. Okay, so depending upon when you’re reading this it might be a wee bit early to start indulging in alcohol just yet, but by noon it’s fair game and Indy has a plethora of breweries so finding one shouldn’t be a problem. Maybe treat yourself with one at lunch and see if it doesn’t improve your outlook on the day.
Call your mom, or a sibling, or someone else whose voice makes you happy. These are the times I miss being able to call Poppa and just say hi. A calm, familiar voice can turn a day around in a heart beat.
Shopping. You may need to be careful here. Don’t burst your budget so that you have nasty credit card bills coming at you in the future. A little retail therapy can make a significant difference in your day, though, even if it’s just picking out something online.
Quick sex. There’s probably not enough time for all the romance and foreplay to which you’re accustomed, but a quick nip before work or at noon isn’t a bad use of your time and is the one thing that is likely to put a smile on your face.

There are other rewards you can find, I’m sure. Do something that brings you pleasure and makes you smile. Perhaps a chocolate covered strawberry, or a little extra creme in your coffee this morning. Rewards don’t have to be large or extravagant to be effective. You can reward yourself in thousands of different ways if you think about it a moment. Sometimes, just taking a moment to think can be a reward itself.

Weekends aren’t always pleasant and relaxing. If yours was a bit more challenging than you would have liked, take a moment and reward yourself. After all, you’ve survived once again. Not everyone can say that.

Just For Fun

Sunday Comics

April 24, 2016

We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us. —Joan Rivers

After a week full of seriousness, we find it appropriate that Sunday is filled with humor

Growing up, there was a direct link between Sundays and humor. That link came in the form of the Sunday Comics, the full-color separate section of the newspaper that was the one thing all week worth reading. Of course, in our house reading the paper didn’t come until Sunday afternoon, after church, after dinner. Poppa would take the front section with all the news, Mother would take all the ads and coupons, and my brother and I would fight over who got to read the comics first. Peanuts, Blondie, and Family Circus were the highlight of our week.

Of course, comics today are delivered online, whenever you want them. I’ve not had a Sunday edition of a newspaper hit our front steps in a few years, which is rather sad. As much as I lament the decline of the newspaper, being able to read the Sunday comics at 5:00 AM is rather cool, and there’s no recycling necessary come trash day.

There are other ways to fill one’s Sunday, or any day of the week for that matter, with laughter. There are other kinds of comics besides those running in the Sunday paper; you know, the stand-up kind. Like my friend Courtney Kay Meyers in the pictures above. Actually, I’m not sure CKM is doing a lot of comedy these days. She’s been going to school and is apparently about to graduate next month. At least, I think she’s about to graduate. She sent me an invitation to a graduation party. There may yet be a punchline coming. That’s one of the fun things about comics, though: they keep you thinking and laughing at the same time and most anything is possible.

So, since it’s technically illegal for me to post Blondie or Beetle Bailey here without express written permission, which I don’t have, I’m going to give you that other live-action form of comedy, starting with CKM herself, from about 6 years or so ago, back when she was starving all the time, not just every third day. The other comics are just for fun because it’s Sunday. We all need the laugh.

Melissa McCarthy is absolutely hilarious, as usual, on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

https://youtu.be/saOHKFWW3tU

And you thought you knew Irish food …

In case you were wanting acting lessons from Tom Hanks …

If John Oliver and Cookie Monster did your local news …

Current Issues / Mythology / PotD

Take Your Boycott And Shove It

April 24, 2016

I can say unequivocally that the boycott does not work. It’s never complete enough to have impact unless it’s backed by force, and I don’t think anybody in America seriously proposes that. —Helen Suzman

charles i. letbetter - take your boycott and shove it

There are literally hundreds of boycotts going on right now and none of them matter because, by and large, they don’t work.

There is a very real chance that I am going to offend some people today, and, according to comic Ricky Gervais, that’s not a bad thing. The man who has made the better part of his living off hurling insults at people and making them feel bad thinks we all should stop trying to be so damned politically correct and speak our minds. Of course, the danger in such a statement is that not everyone’s mind is running on all cylinders which could end up being a dangerous thing that ultimately leads to this stupid thing called a boycott.

I follow trends pretty closely, not because I want to adapt them, but from both fashion and advertising perspectives they are important in taking the temperature of a given society or specific demographic group. The latter part of this week I’ve seen a trend emerging quietly, among white people primarily, folks who aren’t necessarily inclined to be terribly upset by Prince’s death, that makes me ill. Some people want to boycott Target stores because they are willing to allow transgender people to use the restroom facilities of the gender with which they identify. Another incredibly insane movement wants to boycott the twenty dollar bill because they oppose the Department of Treasury’s decision to put Harriet Tubman on the currency, replacing one of our worst presidents ever, Andrew Jackson.

Let me state, unequivocally, that if you support either one of these boycotts you are a fucking idiot. The Target boycott won’t work because its based on an unrealistic fear that no intelligent person believes. The twenty dollar bill boycott won’t work because it’s just plain stupid and fueled by ignorance and racism. More than both those factors, though, boycotts don’t work because they’re ineffective and the sooner we stop throwing the word around as though it were some magic tool for getting our way, the better.

Do you have any idea how many different groups are attempting pointless boycotts right now? The website ethicalconsumer.org, which I neither support nor endorse, keeps a list of ongoing consumer boycotts that is about as complete as any. The list is ridiculously long and includes a number of companies that always seem to have someone boycotting them, such as Coca-Cola, Wal-Mart, Ben & Jerry’s, H&M, Kellogs, and that company everyone loves to hate: Monsanto. Guess what: NONE OF THE BOYCOTTS ARE WORKING! They won’t. They never will.

Why? Because the boycott as an economic tool is fundamentally flawed and even in cases where it might appear that a boycott worked, it was other external factors that likely led to any significant change.

I was impressed by a report done by Stephen J. Dubner over at Freakonomics this past January. The report, originally done for radio, takes a look at one of the most famous boycotts of modern times: The Montgomery Bus Boycott. If ever there were a boycott that seemed to work, that would be it, right? That one would appear to be a shining example of what can happen when a group of people exerts their economic force onto a situation. But Daniel Diermeier, dean of the Harris School of Public Policy at the University of Chicago, doesn’t think it was necessarily the boycott that led to the desegregation of buses. He states:

Being able to identify the actual causal impact of the Montgomery boycott is very difficult, probably impossible. There are some people that argue, at the end of the day, it was really the legal strategy of the NAACP that really was the decisive component. And it’s difficult to disentangle that. I think most scholars that have looked at this particular case would argue that the boycott became a symbolic event that triggered an entire social movement.

As historians have broken down the event, we come to understand that Rosa Parks was no random bus rider, that Montgomery was no random location, and the boycott was no random activity hastily slapped together by a preacher from Atlanta. Rather, the event was but a part of a longer-term strategy to effect a chance in the civil rights laws across the country. The boycott put a face on a burgeoning movement but it was the strategy of the movement, not the boycott itself, that resulted in change.

The same applies to any other boycott we see that one might consider successful. There has to be an over-arching strategy and organizing force capable of widespread support and influence that understands how boycotting is a very specific tool and, like trying to use a hammer to thread a needle, doesn’t work when applied incorrectly. The vast majority of announced boycotts don’t even come close to having the reason and authority behind them to be successful.

Too often, boycotts such as the ones announced this past week amount to nothing more than an attempt at moral bullying. The same organization that announced the boycott of Target has also tried boycotting Disney multiple times for a variety of reasons. I’m sure you’ve noticed how well that boycott is going [insert sarcastic eye roll here]. Their entire purpose behind the boycott is to force Target into changing their policy for no reason other than to match up with the organization’s right-wing religious-based morality. What they’re doing is nothing more than an attempted “might makes right” tactic that is doomed to failure.

If anything, this week’s boycotts are likely to backfire. Even when the cause is a good one, and neither of these are, boycotts often end up having the reverse effect. Why? No one likes to be told what to do. We especially don’t like to be told where to shop, what to eat, or what to wear. Boycotts that attempt to affect those industries are doomed before they even start.

For boycotts to work, they have to appeal to a matter of conscience that exceeds our commitment to our buying habits. Interestingly enough, there is one form of boycott that might actually have an impact. Note what is happening in the move against North Carolina’s HB2 law, aka the bathroom bill, which prohibits people from using any other restroom facility than the one determined by the gender identified on their birth certificate. This has to be one of the most stupid laws on the planet and people are responding appropriately by leaving the state of North Carolina to wallow in their own ignorance. Not only have a number of entertainers canceled performances in the state, but major corporations that had been planning expansions there have decided to move their operations elsewhere. While not officially an organized boycott, at least, not as far as we can tell at this point, the movement has gained so much momentum that the United Kingdom has warned LGBT tourists against traveling to either North Carolina or Mississippi because of their anti-gay laws. This movement is still developing, though, so we’ll see what it takes to actually get the laws overturned, which is the only acceptable outcome.

Generally speaking, though, and in overwhelming proportion, announcing a boycott is rather like saying you don’t like pea soup because of the way it dribbles down your great-grandmother’s chin. You’re being a stupid, ignorant bully and the rest of the world would kindly thank you to shut-the-fuck-up. Boycotts don’t work. If that offends you, tough. Deal with it.

Hashtag Philosophy / pop culture / PotD

Odd Thing That Irritates Me

April 23, 2016

One thing above all gives charm to men’s thoughts, and this is unrest. A mind that is not uneasy irritates and bores me. —Anatole France

charles i. letbetter - odd thing that irritates me

#OddThingThatIrritatesMe is trending on Twitter and it irritates me that I have so many items to add to the list

I was not born with my father’s easy-going temperament. My brother was. I’m not sure he’s raised his voice for anything other than a Rangers’ game in the past 30 years. Poppa was gentle, the very definition of being “slow to anger.” I envy that quality and it rather irritates me that I don’t have it.

Me? I got my Grandpa Slover’s short fuse. I seem to have inherited a number of his traits, from walking with my hands behind my back to having a low tolerance for mindless noise. The temper is what gets me in trouble most often, though, and none of my attempts to adjust that over the years have succeeded.

So, when I got up late this morning, I found it somewhat fortuitous that #OddThingThatIrritatesMe would be trending. There is much that irritates me. Given sufficient time, I could probably create a list that would dominate Twitter for the entire week. Sad, isn’t it? Especially compared with some of the rather mild irritants that have been posted by others. Consider these:

#OddThingThatIrritatesMe knowing the government reads my tweets yet they don’t take the time to like them

— Morgan Waite (@MORGyonce) April 23, 2016

Only serving breakfast until 11 AM. Breakfast is a ALL DAY MEAL! #OddThingThatIrritatesMe pic.twitter.com/CcLgMJbBV1

— Fergus The Cat (@FERGUSthe_CAT) April 23, 2016

#OddThingThatIrritatesMe – when people use the bathroom stall right next to me when every other one is open. 😑

— Brittaney Phelps (@brittaneyphelps) April 22, 2016

See? Those are mild irritants at best. If anything, I’m irritated that everyone else’s irritants are so pallid. What irritates me is a long list of grievances that have grown from mild annoyances that were not worth mentioning to major issues that make me want to scream. I am irritated that I have such faults.

Nonetheless, I feel compelled to share what irritates me because I know that doing so irritates other people and if I’m going to be irritated then I damn well want company. So, here are just a few of the things that irritate me.

Knowing damn good and well that I bought something at the store yesterday but not being able to find it when I need it. This happens far too often and, of course, when I need that particular item is usually when I’m in the middle of cooking and don’t have time to go traipsing around all over the kitchen trying to find where it was misshelved. This is made all the more infuriating knowing that I’m the one who put up the groceries.
When it’s still dark out and the cats decide to scare the living shit out of me. Our three cats almost always get up when I do of the morning because they know I’ll turn the light on in the kitchen and that pleases them for some stupid reason. They take advantage of this time when the children are still asleep to chase each other and play, which can be rather cute. But they don’t make a lot of noise as they chase each other up and down the hall. I’ll be sitting here typing away and all of a sudden, WHOOSH! There are three cats running along the back of the couch and under my chair and over the desk and then gone again. Startles me every time.
Phones that make noises during the night. If I could, I’d leave my cell phone on silent mode all the time. Doesn’t matter how cute or funny the ringtone is, it irritates the living hell out of me every time one goes off because there’s never any warning and it disrupts my train of thought, or my nap, whichever is happening at the moment. Silent phones mean missed messages, though, so I have to turn it up during the day and too often I forget to turn it back down before I go to bed at night. So, somewhere around two in the morning, I’m jolted awake as my phone all-too-loudly informs me that, “A new message has been received.” Kat has her phone set to just chirp, but that little noise comes off as condescending, flaunting the fact that whatever message just arrived isn’t for me. We need quieter phones.
Kids toys that shouldn’t make noise, but do. As I’m typing, the Tipster is awake and attempting to play with the tea set she got for her birthday. Logically, that shouldn’t be a problem unless her tea party turns into a wild Barbie rave. But the ceramic cups and plates clink every time she sets one down, and she’s six, so it’s not like she’s the most graceful being on the planet. So, I’m hearing this constant arhythmic high-pitched clink, clinkety-clink, clink, clink, clink while I’m trying to concentrate on what I’m doing. Good thing spell check is turned on.
Having to stop what I’m doing to refill my coffee cup and take my medicine. Whether I’m writing or editing pictures, concentration is critical and any interruption is less than appreciated. The problem comes that my brain doesn’t work without coffee and bad things happen if I don’t take my meds. Inevitably, I’ll be deep in thought, fully committed to whatever I’m doing, reach for my coffee cup and … empty. Now I have to interrupt the flow of my work, walk to the kitchen, fill my coffee cup, return to the desk, find that comfy spot in my chair again, and try to remember exactly what the hell I was doing. Taking medicine is just as bad. I easily lose 10-15 minutes of productivity every time.
Writing something really cool with an especially wonderful picture and no one reads it. This happens a lot on the weekend. I spend just as much time on our Saturday and Sunday articles as I do those during the week, but if the weather’s good they aren’t read by more than two or three people. I understand, when it’s pretty and warm and all spring-like, who in their right mind wants to stay indoors and read something irrelevant off the computer? Understanding doesn’t prevent me from being disappointed, though, and it irritates me when I feel like all that work was for nothing.

I could go on and on and on, but we both have better things to do than sit here listening to me gripe about the tiny little irritants that aren’t going to go away. I’m sure you have your list as well. We all do. And that list never seems to get shorter.

Advertising / pop culture / science

Measuring Your Footprint

April 22, 2016

We in the industrialized world make a greater difference because our ecological footprint, our impact on the condition of the environment, is 40 to 50 times larger than that of people in the developing world. —Maurice Strong

We do not exist without leaving a scar upon the plant. Our obligation, our responsibility to the universe, is to make that footprint as small as possible.

We learn in elementary school the basic balance of life on this planet. We breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. Plants, all the green living things around us, take in carbon dioxide and emit oxygen. Just that easily, we keep each other alive, a carefully balanced symbiotic relationship that has been in place for millions of years. When perfectly balanced, neither leaves a footprint. Such a balance is difficult to maintain,though. As our population has increased, we have, partially of necessity, reduced the amount of green around us. This throws the whole planet out of balance and, because that balance is so precise, any imbalance in either direction causes bad things to happen. There’s no point arguing about who is at fault, we must focus our effort on reducing the size of the scar we leave and bring us closer to the balance between carbon life forms and plants that keep life sustainable.

Welcome to Earth Day, 2016. This is the 46th, I think, celebration and the day and normally we would encourage people to be out planting stuff. However, for most of us in the Midwest, weather conditions are not exactly cooperative. The ground is rather wet and muddy from yesterday’s rain and there may be more on the way before this afternoon is done. Not exactly prime planting weather. Still, there are things one can do to help address your impact on the plant and one of those is measuring your carbon footprint.

For those not quite up on the lingo:

car·bon foot·print

[ˌkäːrbənˈfo͝otprint]

NOUN

the amount of carbon dioxide and other carbon compounds emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a particular person, group, etc.

The term sounds like some mix of science and feel-good pseudo-spirituality, but it is a real measure of just how much an impact you are having upon the planet. Understand, this is more than just the amount of carbon dioxide you emit when you take a breath. If your carbon footprint were only limited to that measure, we wouldn’t have any problems at all. The issue comes that, especially in industrialized countries such as the United States, anything we do that involves consuming fuel most likely also adds to the amount of carbon dioxide we put into the air. Because the greater number of our vehicles run on fossil fuels that release carbon and the majority of our electric power comes from burning coal that releases carbon, every time we so much as turn on a light we are adding to our carbon footprint.

This, then, brings us to the question of just how much carbon does one person produce? Obviously, that answer varies from one person to the next. There are online calculators at the EPA website as well as the Nature Conservancy that can determine the full size of the carbon footprint for your entire household. These calculate factors such as home energy, food consumption, recycling, and transportation.

What I found this year, though, is a tool that measures where my footprint is the largest: online. We tend to not think about it, but when we are using our computers and accessing the internet, not only are we consuming energy in our home or workplace, we’re also consuming energy at the location of at least two servers, one that belongs to our Internet service provider and another that holds the website we’re accessing. The more tabs we have open, the larger the footprint we’re leaving.

There are two things that make this measurement tool cool. First, it’s a free plug-in for the Chrome browser. I’m not sure what the technological limitations are that prevent it from being available for other browsers, but at least for this year, Chrome users are the only ones who can take advantage of it. Second, and this is what sold me, it is sponsored by the makers of my favorite Scotch: Johnnie Walker. The whiskey distiller has pledged to plant up to 75,000 trees to offset the online carbon footprint measured by the plug-in. More details about the brand’s involvement can be found in this article.

I installed the plug-in on my desktop just about 24 hours previous to my writing this article. In that length of time, my online browsing has generated 3467 grams of carbon, roughly the equivalent of using a microwave for over 365 minutes. To offset that amount of carbon, Johnnie Walker will need to plant 37.2 trees.

37 trees in 24 hours. Extrapolate that out and I would need to plant 13,505 trees a year just to offset the amount of carbon generated by my daily computer use. That’s a lot of trees. Obviously, I need to find ways to make my footprint considerably smaller. Both the EPA and Nature Conservancy have plenty of ideas for how to do that so I won’t bother repeating them now. I’m already running a bit long here. You know best which options work well for you.

Our relationship to this planet is delicate. We cannot afford to continue growing our population and our cities and our economies in the manner to which we have become accustomed without incurring some very serious consequences. Already this year, every month has been the hottest on record. While spending a little less time online or using tools to put unused tabs to sleep may not seem like much of a big deal, the cumulative effort of everyone measuring and watching their carbon footprint adds up.

I don’t know if my boys are going to ever give me grandchildren. They might. Maybe. If they do, I would like to know that my grandchildren can enjoy playing outside safely, can breathe the air and drink the water safely, and not have to alter their lifestyle because of bad choices we’re making now. Measure your footprint and make some adjustments.

For Earth Day.

Music / PotD

Prince, Chyna, and Immortality

April 22, 2016

The key to longevity is to learn every aspect of music that you can. — Prince

charles i. letbetter - prince, chyna, and immortality

Prince changed music. Chyna changed women’s wrestling. But would we want either of them to be immortal?

Here we are again, mourning the death of yet another music legend. If I had any purple left in my wardrobe I might be wearing it today. Maybe. Earlier this week, I listed Purple Rain as one of the top five songs that everyone needs to hear. Now, that’s all anyone wants to play. Everyone jumps on the bandwagon when an artist dies.

There’s also a temptation to curse 2016 for being unreasonably evil in killing off people who mean a lot to our culture and in whom we have a great deal of invested emotion. I saw one tweet yesterday that claimed the aliens were calling all their spies back home before the disaster of this fall’s presidential election. While unlikely, that explanation comes about as close to making sense as anything else does at the moment.

Yesterday just plain sucked for everyone except, possibly, Queen Elizabeth II, who turned 90. And even if her day went as badly as everyone else’s, the Queen gets a do-over in June when her birthday is officially celebrated.

The rest of us, however, started the day with news of Chyna’s death. That was bad enough. Chyna was one of those people who always seemed to be struggling against public perception. Few people paid attention to women’s wrestling before Chyna got into the game, and she changed that. She made it more sexy, more entertaining. That wasn’t enough, though, and she kept looking for something I’m not sure she ever found, some level of acceptance that alluded her.

When the news began to filter onto the Internet that Prince is dead, the initial tone was one of disbelief. After all, he’d been the target of false death announcements before and having TMZ break the news is like asking for a giant here-we-go-again eye roll. Only when the Associated Press joined in on the story did the shock and sadness really begin to set in and spread a purple wave of sadness around the globe.

Were it a more quiet news day, we would probably be talking about the death of Brenda Soto, a 16-year-old Fairfax county, Virginia student who was beaten to death by other girls while at school. There are multiple issues there that need to be discussed, including the accusation that multiple students stood by and recorded the beating on their phones instead of doing anything to help.

Our collective attention can’t seem to handle more than one topic at a time, though, and for the moment, all our attention is on Prince. The rock star’s death is bound to become one of those “where were you” moments for a lot of people. I am seeing in the global reaction’s to Prince’s death a pattern similar to what happened when Elvis died unexpectedly in 1977. All the shock, all the despair, mostly coming from people my age and a wee bit younger, those for whom songs like Purple Rain, Raspberry Beret, and When Doves Cry influenced some formative part of their adolescence, is very similar to that of women of a certain age when Elvis died.

I remember being in the car with Poppa, on my way to a piano lesson, when the news of Elvis’ death came on the radio. I wasn’t of the generation that worshipped him, though, so while I appreciated the impact he’d had on music, I wasn’t necessarily a fan (which hasn’t changed). Similarly, teens today are not overly familiar with Prince and the various iterations and changes he went through. Those who are really into music appreciate his impact, but they’re not as likely to be fans and most won’t understand why their parents and the rest of the world are turning everything purple.

What I expect to come next are the conspiracy theories. Prince led a life that is ripe for speculation. After all, since his 2001 conversion to Jehovah’s Witness, Prince had acted less like a rock star and more like a delusional cult member (which is the most accurate way to describe all Jehovah’s Witnesses). Even though he had returned to performing and seemed to be in good form when he rocked Atlanta earlier this month, one has to wonder if the strange religious beliefs, particularly that part about not allowing blood transfusions or organ transplants, might have factored into his death.

There’s also the fact that Prince died a mere two months after one of his more famous girlfriends, Vanity. That there might have been some connection between their deaths is already a tale that is gathering some steam and, given the romantic twist, could quite likely take off.

Or maybe he’s out golfing with Elvis and Bowie in Bermuda.

With the tremendous number of deaths among music legends and other celebrities this year, one might find it interesting that just this past Wednesday The Guardian ran a story about the possibility of digital immortality. The theory here is that while it might be impossible to preserve one’s body forever, given the natural decaying of biological tissue, one might be able to digitally preserve all of one’s memories, experiences, personality, and wisdom in a digital form, and then present that back through some type of chat bot with an avatar resembling the face of the deceased. The name of the company is Eternime and the product isn’t quite ready for prime time. Their website says they hope to be in beta sometime “next month,” without any indication as to which “next month” that might be.

But what if we could preserve the personality, the spirit, and the essence of people like Prince or Bowie or Elvis? Would we really want to keep them around in that form? We have their music, which is influential on their own. Do we really need a digital Prince to repeat back some of his previous questionable statements? Regardless of how great his music was, this was the guy who said, “When I found out that there was eight Presidents before George Washington, I wanted to smack somebody,” and “Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.” Do we really need that nonsense lingering around? I’m not sure immortality suits everyone terribly well.

And that’s why I might not wear purple today, even if I had some. All that was great about Prince happened before 2000. In fact, one could easily, in my opinion, make the argument that after his 1998 album Lovesexy everything else pretty much sucks. To return to an earlier analogy, think young Elvis versus “old” Elvis (he died when he was 42, so “old” is a matter of perspective). With both artists, the songs that made them famous and for which they’ll always be remembered are the ones at the front of their careers. Prince hasn’t had a number one hit since 1989’s Batdance. After that, the highest any song ranked on the charts was The Greatest Romance Ever Sold, which topped at #63 in 2000. He hasn’t had a song hit the top 100 since 2004’s Call My Name.

So, as great as he once was, maybe it’s best that we let Prince and everyone else go. Immortality isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be and sometimes the more we know about our heroes and legends, the less likeable they become. We’ll miss what we liked about them, that part of them that touched our lives, but that doesn’t mean we should keep them around forever.

And hey, maybe the movie Men In Black was right: They’re not dead, they just returned to their home planet.

Current Issues / PotD / science

Water That Is Safe

April 21, 2016

Rivers, ponds, lakes, and streams – they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do – they all contain truths. —Muhammad Ali

Water is the very essence of life, but is it ever safe to drink?

I was standing outside with the Tipster this morning waiting on her bus in the rain. As we stood there, huddled under my umbrella, she noticed the water running off the side. Being the silly little six-year-old that she is, she tipped her head back so that the top of her head was exposed to the rain.

“What are you doing?” I asked in a rather incredulous tone. As with many six-year-olds, getting her ready for school this morning was a trying set of circumstances and I really wasn’t in the mood for nonsense.

“I’m drinking the rain off the umbrella,” she giggled.

I pulled her back up under the umbrella with a warning, “You don’t want to do that.”

She’s six. She’s not going to let a statement like that go unchallenged. So, naturally, her response was, “Why?”

What came out of my mouth was, “Because the cats have been all over it,” which is a cop-out because the cats have been all over everything in our house. What I really meant, though, was something more like, “I have no idea what the Ph balance of the rainwater here is and given all the manufacturing on this side of town I’m not sure any of the rainwater is safe without some form of filtering.” That version would have gone right over her little head, though. Cats are much more relatable.

If you’ve driven around Indianapolis lately, you’ve probably seen the billboards and/or heard the radio ads from Citizens Energy, the company that manages and oversees the Indianapolis water supply. The ad campaign has been an attempt to garner public support and understanding for a proposed rate increase to water bills in the areas that Citizens covers. The situation, as presented by Citizens, sounds dier. Some pipes are over 100 years old and much of the original infrastructure is crumbling. Replacing all those pipes is expensive. The plan worked. Yesterday, the Indiana Utility Regulatory Commission (IURC) approved a rate hike that will increase the average residential water bill by $5 a month starting in May.

The rate hike doesn’t actually ensure that the water we receive through our taps is any cleaner when it leaves the treatment facility, but that it’s less likely to be contaminated between there and your home. In short, what the rate hike does is help prevent Indianapolis and the surrounding areas from experiencing a water disaster like what happened with Flint, Michigan. Clean water passing through aging pipes is about as dangerous as, well, drinking water falling off an umbrella. All manners of nasty chemicals leach into the water supply with no means of control.

As Americans, we take the quality and ubiquity of our water supply for granted. Almost everyone alive today has grown up with running water. We are accustomed to turning a knob and having the water flow at quantities and pressures we could take for granted. That’s why Flint’s water crisis was so alarming. We, as a general populace, weren’t even aware that such a disaster could happen.

Scientist and climatologists have been warning us for years, though, that our supply of drinking water is becoming increasingly unsafe. As with most matters of earth science, no one wants to listen. The stories are of gradual decline, of a slow erosion that isn’t necessarily evident every time one looks out the window. In 1990, the Acid Rain Program was created as part of the Clean Air Act, but corporate and industrial opposition to the limits established by those laws has been severe and through continued lobbying the laws have been diminished to the point they’re hardly recognizable.

Keeping our drinking water clean is neither cheap nor easy. Earlier this month, Citizens was happy to announce that, “… drinking water produced at all of the utility’s treatment plants is safe …” but that announcement didn’t come until after the Environmental Protection Agency proposed adding an area downtown to its list of superfund sites. Being on this list allows federal funds to be used in cleaning up the area. Two of Citizens’ wellfield areas, along Riverside and 16th streets, would be included in that cleanup. Until then, anything from those wellfields has to go through extra treatment before it’s ready to be consumed.

Spring is deceptive in its ability to make everything look so clean and pure. We just assume that what we drink and sprinkle over our gardens is healthy and safe. A major effort is required to keep us as safe as we think we are, though, and your Indiana state legislature isn’t helping any. Bills attempting to eliminate or significantly limit the EPA’s rules, especially those regarding groundwater, are frequently introduced and there is a vocal lobbying effort to prohibit all EPA legislation completely.

As beautiful a state as Indiana could be, you’d think we’d value our natural resources more and want to keep them clean, but apparently that’s not necessarily the case across the board. Some would rather indulge the continued dumping of raw sewage and spew horrible chemicals into the air. What may seem harmless to some, eventually impacts us all. Rain eventually falls and little girls try to drink the rain from their umbrellas.

You would think such an act would be innocent and safe. It should be.

Advertising / Art

The Obscenity of Art

April 21, 2016

Obscenity is a moral concept in the verbal arsenal of the establishment, which abuses the term by applying it, not to expressions of its own morality but to those of another. —Herbert Marcuse

charles i. letbetter - the obscenity of art

To the extent that the purpose of art is to connect us with an emotion, can anything produced ever be considered truly obscene unless it generates no emotion at all?

Yes, it has happened again. Once more, some prurient patrol of public prejudice has assumed the mantel of moral responsibility for the planet and attempted to stamp out the obscenity that is art. Apparently my articles are not getting in front of enough eyes because I know damn good and well we wrote about this at least three times last year. Yet, for those who weren’t paying attention, here we go again.

This time, the offense takes place in Englewood, New Jersey where there is apparently a city ordinance prohibiting public display of nude images in certain spaces. Specifically, according to the Associated Press, “nude images have to be kept in interior rooms not visible from public areas.” This 1992 ordinance created a problem for Laura Borghi of Borghi Fine Art Gallery when it came time to hang a work by painter Tom Dash this past January. Due to the size of the canvas, Ms. Borghi claims that she had limited options as to where to display the piece. So, she chose the front window of her gallery. [We’ll just assume that there is ultra-violet protection on the glass to prevent the sun’s rays from destroying the pigment in the paint. Otherwise, she would be a very bad gallery owner.]

Dash’s artwork, by the way, is, “an ink jet collage of photos of two women painted over in acrylic paint.” One of the women happens to be showing her bare buttock.

Englewood city code enforcement officer Walter Deptuch, who apparently takes his job very seriously, issued Borghi a violation requesting that the artwork be removed. I’m guessing that “request” failed to use the magic word “please,” as Borghi refused to move the painting. She was then threatened with “fines of $1,250 per day and the threat of up to 90 days in jail.” Rather severe consequences for showing someone’s bare bum.

Ms. Borghi has, of course, filed suit as she should, and, of course, that immediately causes any elected official, or city employee, to clam up, so there has been no statement from the city attempting to justify what would seem to be a rather over-the-top reaction to something that likely offends fewer than five percent of the town’s populace. I’m just guessing at that statistic, but given the number of bare butts one sees on prime time television these days I hardly see how Dash’s artwork can be considered obscene on those grounds.

As we’ve stated before, though, obscenity and art rather go hand and hand. Getting the attention of image-weary humans requires an increasing shock value and whether the art form is visual or verbal or musical, artists across all genres find themselves crossing that might, to some, be considered a line of good taste in order to express themselves in ways that communicate stronger emotions. A little obscenity here and there is necessary for some art to stand out and, quite honestly, whose definition of obscenity are we using in the first place?

As I was reading about this situation yesterday, another email dropped into my inbox (yes, I still use email) showing off a new print ad for an exhibition at Sweden’s Sven-Harrys art museum called Swedish Art: Now! I’m sure they argued over that title for hours. The exhibition includes the Tomas Hämén fossilised dinosaur faeces sculpture, Asstral Traveler. The print ad includes a picture of that piece of sculpture with lead copy that states: “You’d better sit down for this.” Body copy later encourages, “Admire it above, then take in the real thing…” At that point, my inner 15-year-old can no longer hide and burst out giggling. Here’s the ad:

Yes, you are seeing that correctly. Hämén carved a butt plug from fossilized dinosaur shit and the museum thinks you might want to sit and take it in. I sincerely apologize for the adolescent giggles continuing on this side of the Internet. I don’t’ know whether the folks who created the ad, M&C Saatchi, Stockholm, intended the slightly erotic inferences, but I certainly hope they did. Certainly, no one in Sweden seems to be claiming there to be any obscenity here, but I can’t help but wonder how well the same ad would play in Englewood. If Ms. Burghi cannot display the bare butt, can she display a fossilized butt plug?

The degree to which our world is off its moral rocker is evident in the fact that I am offended that someone else took offense at something I don’t see as offensive. Screams of obscenity get thrown around all over the place and one might reasonably argue that creating such a dustup over a relatively insignificant display of a woman’s bare bum is a pretty good way to generate some free marketing. Although, with attorney’s fees and court filing costs, I’m not sure “free” is exactly the appropriate term.

Speaking of attorney’s, the one representing Ms. Borghi in all this, Brian Bernstein, is confident they will win because both the U.S. and New Jersey constitutions prohibit censoring art in any way. There’s no special obscenity exception clause. He states:

“There’s nothing new about government efforts to suppress artistic expression, especially if it might be viewed by some as controversial. Art that challenges convention makes an attractive target for the government.”

With most municipal budgets being as tight as they are and city resources in most places being so slim, I’m rather surprised that the city of Englewood would want to suffer the expense of such a lawsuit in the first place. Don’t be surprised when they settle out of court and the whole matter gets dropped.

I’ve seen the AP wire story in no fewer than seven publications over the past 24 hours. That should be sufficient attention that Ms. Borghi isn’t likely to have much trouble actually selling the artwork, which, I assume, was her goal in the first place. Doubtless, the price may have increased a little bit. I’m fairly certain Tom Dash doesn’t mind a little extra publicity coming his direction, either.

Obscenity is a tag that often carries some value in the art world. If a work is strong enough to offend the prudish, the artist must be saying something important, no? And if that message is so elevated that the artistically naïve and ignorant don’t “get it,” then the artwork must be especially valuable. Such is art world logic.

Personally, I don’t find artwork obscene and would be just fine if this whole argument would go away. What’s obscene is the way a handful of galleries and curators control the art market, driving up prices for a handful of artists, while preventing other artists from being shown in major galleries at all. That’s where the real obscenity in art lies.

Oh, but I’m not supposed to talk about that. Damn, I’m likely to get into trouble now.

Oh well.

Current Issues / PotD

Sex And Politics

April 20, 2016

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. —Plato

Given a choice between sex and politics, the wise person chooses sex

Now that the New York primaries are over and went exactly the way everyone knew they would, the circus that is presidential primary politics moves to Indiana in advance of the primary on May 3. Many times, having a late primary means that your vote really doesn’t count for much. In the past two election cycles, the nomination of both parties has pretty much been decided by the time the Indiana primary rolled around. Not so this year. Both Democrats and Republicans are involved in races that are close enough in delegate counts as to make every last vote in the Indiana primaries worth something (despite what some pundits are saying). So, all five of the remaining candidates will be hitting the state hard and heavy over the next two weeks to try and convince Hoosiers to vote for them.

What should Hoosiers do? Have sex. Not with the candidates, mind you. None of them are attractive enough for the thought of having sex with them to not be cringe-inducing. I’m pretty sure a couple of them have to blindfold their spouses before getting into bed at night. And we’re fortunate that the list has dwindled to five. One of the advantages of a late primary is that we don’t have to put up with that messy political orgy that started the season. Still, given the choice between politics or sex, we’re all better off choosing the sex.

Let’s face it: we’ve been listening to these yahoos spout their lies and hate-inducing clap-trap for over a year. Media of various forms have inundated us with every stupid word they’ve said, every insult they’ve spouted, every ridiculous idea they’ve proposed, and every opinion on which they’ve flip-flopped. Whichever party one favors really makes very little difference. The candidates who have survived thus far do not offer any real hope for our country.

So, if we’re going to get screwed anyway, we might as well do it in a way that is at least pleasurable. Sex is so much better than politics, makes people so much happier, and even in the worst of circumstances doesn’t endanger as many lives. Here are a few reasons sex is better than politics:

You, alone, get to decide who fucks you. Politics is like rape in that you’re getting fucked by someone you don’t like in a manner you don’t enjoy and then you’re told it’s your fault. With consensual sex, you choose who’s in bed with you. You don’t have to worry about some lame southern state screwing it up for the rest of the country or taking it up the backside from the electoral college. The sex partner you get is the one you choose.
When the sex is bad, there are ways to fix it. Not all sex is good, which you understand if you’ve had sex more than once. However, the majority of bad sex comes from poor communication between partners and can be resolved with a little time and patience. Bad politics, though, last a minimum of four years and there’s not a damn thing you can do during the interim to make it any better.
Even bad sex is still good. Even when the sex isn’t as wonderful as you might have preferred, at least you come out saying, “Hey, I got laid!” You don’t have to share the details and no one actually cares if you fudge the orgasm count a few times. Bad politics, however, is never good. Bad politics is like finding out your partner has an STD even the CDC doesn’t know about yet. You’re doomed. The bumper sticker won’t scrape off and people scream at you for electing the douche that sent the economy into the toilet and got West Virginia nuked.
Sex only affects the lives of you and your partner(s). Even if you’re cheating with someone who is also cheating on someone, the total number of people affected is likely to be less than ten. When politics goes awry, however, the fate of the entire world can be at stake. Millions of innocent lives can be lost. Clean air and drinking water can be ruined forever. Generations who linger long after our demise can suffer because of one bad political decision.
Cleaning up after sex is relatively easy. When the sex is over, you take a shower, wash the sheets, re-adjust the lamp shade, and then go on about your day. Or night. The backside of politics isn’t so easy. Who cleans up after war? Not the politicians. Who has to find a new source of drinking water? Not the politicians who allowed it to be polluted. Who replaces the air we can no longer breathe? Not the politicians who allowed it to become poisoned. Who replaces all the jobs that are lost due to bad foreign policy? Not the politician who implemented the failed policy. Politics is sloppy and leaves you with the mess every time.

As the presidential candidates roam from town to town the next two weeks, they’re going to make a lot of speeches in a lot of different places. Your best move? Don’t go. Leave them all talking to empty chairs. Send a message that Hoosiers are fed up with their lies and their hate and their condescending attitudes toward the Midwest. Instead, stay home and have sex. Or go to a strip club. Or take your significant other to a strip club and then have sex. Or watch porn together. Or try out a new butt plug. There are myriad options that are better than attending a political rally where no one cares about your opinion.

Mind you, I’m not saying you shouldn’t vote. By all means, everyone who is eligible should be at the polls on May 3. Your vote counts more in this election than it has in a long time. Be there. Do the deed. But don’t think for a second that anything leading up to the actual election matters; it doesn’t. Protesting doesn’t matter. Picketing doesn’t matter. Yelling and screaming doesn’t matter. None of the candidates give a shit what you think; they’ve already made up their pathetic little minds. The ONLY way to send a message is to stay away from their stupid events, all of them. Void the damn political polls. Then vote.

And have sex.

Current Issues / Photography

Pulitzer Prize Depression

April 19, 2016

The Pulitzer Prize is an idea; it’s a vote of confidence. Like literature, it exists purely in the mind. —Jeffrey Eugenides

I’m not eligible for a Pulitzer Prize, but if I were I’m not sure I’d want the honor

The annual Pulitzer Prizes were awarded yesterday and, as with every year for the past 30, I had just a momentary touch of jealousy. There was a very brief period in my life where I thought I wanted that particular recognition, or at least, the money that goes along with it. The cash would always come in handy, but I no longer truly desire that prize because what one has to photograph to win the damn thing doesn’t suit me particularly well.

If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, let’s take a look at the Pulitzer winners in the photography categories for the past ten years. Stop me when you notice a pattern.

2007 Breaking News Photography: Oded Balilty of Associated Press For his powerful photograph of a lone Jewish woman defying Israeli security forces as they remove illegal settlers in the West Bank.

Feature Photography: Renée C. Byer of The Sacramento Bee For her intimate portrayal of a single mother and her young son as he loses his battle with cancer.

2008 Breaking News Photography: Adrees Latif of Reuters For his dramatic photograph of a Japanese videographer, sprawled on the pavement, fatally wounded during a street demonstration in Myanmar.

Feature Photography: Preston Gannaway of Concord (NH) Monitor For her intimate chronicle of a family coping with a parent’s terminal illness.

2009 Breaking News Photography: Patrick Farrell of The Miami Herald For his provocative, impeccably composed images of despair after Hurricane Ike and other lethal storms caused a humanitarian disaster in Haiti.

Feature Photography: Damon Winter of The New York Times For his memorable array of pictures deftly capturing multiple facets of Barack Obama’s presidential campaign.

2010 Breaking News Photography: Mary Chind of The Des Moines Register For her photograph of the heart-stopping moment when a rescuer dangling in a makeshift harness tries to save a woman trapped in the foaming water beneath a dam.

Feature Photography: Craig F. Walker of The Denver Post For his intimate portrait of a teenager who joins the Army at the height of insurgent violence in Iraq, poignantly searching for meaning and manhood.

2011 Breaking News Photography: Carol Guzy, Nikki Kahn and Ricky Carioti of The Washington Post For their up-close portrait of grief and desperation after a catastrophic earthquake struck Haiti.

Feature Photography: Barbara Davidson of Los Angeles Times For her intimate story of innocent victims trapped in the city’s crossfire of deadly gang violence.

2012 Breaking News Photography: Massoud Hossaini of Agence France-Presse For his heartbreaking image of a girl crying in fear after a suicide bomber’s attack at a crowded shrine in Kabul.

Feature Photography: Craig F. Walker of The Denver Post For his compassionate chronicle of an honorably discharged veteran, home from Iraq and struggling with a severe case of post-traumatic stress, images that enable viewers to better grasp a national issue.

2013 Breaking News Photography: Rodrigo Abd, Manu Brabo, Narciso Contreras, Khalil Hamra and Muhammed Muheisen of Associated Press For their compelling coverage of the civil war in Syria, producing memorable images under extreme hazard.

Feature Photography: Javier Manzano of Agence France-Presse For his extraordinary picture, distributed by Agence France-Presse, of two Syrian rebel soldiers tensely guarding their position as beams of light stream through bullet holes in a nearby metal wall.

2014 Breaking News Photography: Tyler Hicks of The New York Times For his compelling pictures that showed skill and bravery in documenting the unfolding terrorist attack at Westgate mall in Kenya.

Feature Photography: Josh Haner of The New York Times For his moving essay on a Boston Marathon bomb blast victim who lost most of both legs and now is painfully rebuilding his life.

2015 Breaking News Photography: Photography Staff of St. Louis Post-Dispatch For powerful images of the despair and anger in Ferguson, MO, stunning photojournalism that served the community while informing the country.

Feature Photography: Daniel Berehulak of The New York Times For his gripping, courageous photographs of the Ebola epidemic in West Africa.

2016 Breaking News Photography: Mauricio Lima, Sergey Ponomarev, Tyler Hicks and Daniel Etter of The New York TimesFor photographs that captured the resolve of refugees, the perils of their journeys and the struggle of host countries to take them in. Also receiving the prize is the Photography Staff of Thomson Reuters For gripping photographs, each with its own voice, that follow migrant refugees hundreds of miles across uncertain boundaries to unknown destinations.

Feature Photography: Jessica Rinaldi of The Boston Globe: For the raw and revealing photographic story of a boy who strives to find his footing after abuse by those he trusted.

There you have it: ten years worth of Pulitzer prizes for photography. Every one of those entries represents not only amazing photographs, but unbelievable amounts of pain, sacrifice, loss, and incredible risks, including their own lives. One doesn’t get the pictures awarded here without going where no sane person would want to go and taking pictures that, in a perfect world, would never need to be taken.

Therein lies the reason I don’t want a Pulitzer. If I’m winning a Pulitzer prize for photography, it is because someone else has suffered to such an extent that their suffering is visible through the photographs awarded. Of all the pictures on the list above, only the 2009 award for images of President Obama’s first presidential campaign didn’t come with someone facing death, disease, and/or destruction. Yes, we need to see those pictures, and they almost certainly need to be pushed to the front so that we have to visually confront the horrible reality that faces people other than ourselves. We need to know that while we’re complaining about a WiFi signal, Somali refugees are dying by the hundreds in cold ocean waters. We need to see the suffering caused by a pandemic such as Ebola. Without those pictures, we are not able to appreciate the horrible conditions and we are not as inclined to help rectify those problems.

I’ve known Pulitzer prize winners over the years, though, and those people don’t come out of long-term assignments like that without a few scars, both physical and mental. Not all of them are able to continue. Ghosts of their subjects, some of whom have died in the photographer’s arms, haunt them every time they raise a viewfinder to their eye. Nightmares of bombs going off or people in need tugging at their clothes prevent them from being able to sleep. Some winners refer to the prize as a curse for they can never shake those images and the heart-wrenching emotions that go with them.

Maybe my pictures of a little girl sitting on a stump and being silly are not earth-shatteringly important. Maybe my pictures don’t open people’s eyes to horrible conditions around the world. Maybe my pictures are sometimes simplistic portraits of people who hold no other significance than just wanting to have their picture taken. I’m okay with that.

There are photographers whose pictures are frightening, whose pictures bring your worry, and whose pictures maybe even induce some level of guilt. Those are the ones that win Pulitzers. But if my pictures make you smile, give you a reason to feel confident or good about yourself, or bring back a happy memory, then is that not its own prize? And most the time, I’m not at risk of contracting a deadly disease and dying six months later. I’m good with that.

However, should you feel the need to give me $10,000 for my effort, I won’t turn it down.

Music / PotD

Dude, You HAVE To Hear This Song

April 19, 2016

All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song. —Louis Armstrong

Many songs are good, but there are a handful of songs you want to share with the world

Like most American kids, I grew up surrounded by a wide array of music. While gospel tended to be dominant there was plenty of contemporary and classical music across every genre. We grew up with a broad appreciation for music and it was rare, especially by the time my brother and I were both teenagers, that there wasn’t something playing on the stereo from the moment we woke up each morning until our parents forced us to bed at night. Even then, the ear bud coming from my radio made sure there was s song to keep me company in the dark.

Being surrounded by all that music, especially during a period when rock music was at its best, we became accustomed to hearing really incredible music all that time. I know I would be horrible at trying to be a full-time music critic in today’s environment because there is so little of what I hear now that stands up to the monumental achievements of The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Three Dog Night, and so many, many others. A song has to be more than good to get my attention, it has to be outstanding and different.

There have been but a few times in my life when someone has said to me, “Dude, you have to hear this song,” when I didn’t wince on the inside. Those few instances, though, started early and stick in my memory even though a couple of the songs have been dropped from anyone’s standard repertoire. My father rarely got excited about a song. My father was an even-keeled man who rarely got too terribly excited about anything. But there were a couple of times in the 70s when it actually happened: Poppa got excited about a song.

The first time was in 1970 and I remember the experience as clearly as if it were yesterday. Poppa had attended a conference where the leader of a youth choir (those were really popular at the time) had adapted Jerry Reed‘s Preacher and the Bear for the group. Poppa enjoyed the song so much that he brought the group’s album (which was generally as amateur as one might expect) and he couldn’t wait to play that song for us the instant he got home. We hadn’t yet heard Reed’s version (it never was much of a radio hit), so the song was quite a novelty. Of course, being my father, he tried turning the song into a joke he could tell from the pulpit and, being my father, that attempt failed miserably. And while I don’t care to remember the name of the group on that old album, I have to smile every time I hear Jerry’s version of the song. Take a listen.

Poppa would get excited a few months later that same year when Three Dog Night released Joy to the World. I have a little more difficulty explaining this one other than it was on the radio a lot and it was one of the few songs Poppa would turn up and didn’t mind too much when I sang along with it, loudly, and probably off key. We never owned the single nor the album. I was too young at the time to be investing in such things and, honestly, we were poor enough at the time when the $5 for an album represented a fair amount of grocery money. Nonetheless, I caught Poppa turning this song up every time it came on, even when he was well into his 60s. I think you understand why.

There was a lot of incredible music throughout the 70s and if I tried to list every song that influenced me in some way we’d be here for weeks. As the disco craze developed, though, there was one song from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack that started a movement of its own and launched the career of an incredibly under-appreciated musician named Walter Murphy. He’s not someone who tours, ever, but the depth of his talent has not only influenced a number of movie soundtracks but is the glue that holds together the music productions of the animated show, Family Guy. Now, every time I hear that familiar theme I can’t help but think of this song:

A lot of music from the early 80s that we thought we liked at the time makes me shudder now. We listened to some really, really horrible stuff for a few years. So, when Prince released his sixth album along with a movie by the same name, my first reaction was one of skepticism. The sound was so different from the other junk we were hearing that it took listening a couple of times or more before I caught on to exactly what was happening. Finding the song now in its original form is challenging. You certainly won’t catch it on any of the streaming services and where it does exist is usually in a remastered form. While the visual quality is lacking, the video below is as close as I can come to the original version of the song that gave the early 80s some definition.

https://youtu.be/F8BMm6Jn6oU

Micheal Jackson was one of those performers I grew up listening to and was astonished by his continual development and ability to out-perform whatever his previous effort had been. While his entire catalog is full of one hit right after another, it is a song from his 1987 album that has always stood apart for me as one of the most meaningful and long-lasting. Man in the Mirror didn’t get a lot of attention at the time, initially being eclipsed by the title track from the album, Bad, but it eventually hit number one on the Billboard charts the next year. Over time its message has proven to be one of the most enduring and effective and is still one of the most downloaded songs ever.

Once we get into the 90s, my choices for songs that I really want to share grow fewer and farther between. Unfortunately, I’m bumping up against both a time and world limit. So, we’ll just have to save the more recent songs for another time. There’s a lot of new music being released today. Maybe one of those will be a song we all really want to hear.

Advertising / pop culture / video

Progress We Think We’ve Made

April 18, 2016

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. —Benjamin Franklin

It’s easy enough to think that we’re above some of the errors of the past, but we may not be as progressive as we think.

I was left shaking my head this morning when Business Insider published an article with 18 ads we would consider horrible and terribly insensitive in today’s society. The purpose of the article was to give us the positive feeling that we have progressed significantly from the ads shown. Among them were racist soap ads, racist Jell-o ads, ads encouraging giving soda to infants, and ads denigrating women in just about every form imaginable. One aftershave ad even seems to encourage rape with copy that reads, “If she doesn’t give it to you, get it yourself.”

We like to think that we have progressed far beyond the stereotypes and social insensitivities of those ads. No one in their right mind today would put a picture of a pear with copy that says, “This Is No Shape For A Girl.” We know better, right? And we’ve even passed federal legislation so cigarette makers can no longer tell us that four out of five doctors smoke Camels. Yet, when we take a broad look at the bulk of advertising in place today, we may not have made as much progress as we would like to think.

Take a look through the advertising on your mobile device or, if you’re old school any major magazine. Notice how many of the ads still favor a stereotypical view of Caucasian people, especially in the areas of fashion, beauty, business, and travel. Within those sectors specifically, a whopping 80% of ads are tilted toward a white audience. Even worse, in many of those ads, especially those related to the hospitality industry, when a person of color is included in the ad it is almost always in a position of service, such as a waiter or hotel staff, further perpetuating the idea that those ethnicities are, for some stupid reason, supposed to serve the white man. Some studies in the health care area show that racial disparities in advertising actually have a negative impact upon the health status of disaffected populations.

Women aren’t faring much better. Just last year, the Bic company ran this ad:

This ad is so offensive to women on so many levels I have to wonder if there was any managerial or even adult oversight in the creation of this campaign. The very notion that women need to think like men for any reason is deplorable, and the inference that women aren’t already the boss are just the start. What does it mean to “look like a girl?” Exactly how does one “act like a lady?” Astonishingly, though, we still see this sort of advertising far too often.

The rape culture in advertising is still alive and well, also. An ad in Bloomingdale’s holiday catalog last year included the caption, “Spike your best friend’s egg nog when they’re not looking,” under a photo of a man leering at a young woman who wasn’t paying attention. Those are the kinds of attitudes that endanger women everywhere as they dismiss the concept of absolute consent. How are we still letting these things get into print?

Ads featuring gay, lesbian, or transgender people are still a hot button and advertising still gets it wrong as often as it gets it right. I hesitate to imagine what our children or grandchildren will think of us when they look back twenty years from now and see that ads such as this one still manage to get air time without censorship:

https://youtu.be/EumiDLgd-T4

Fortunately, the New Hampshire bill passed and the Supreme Court finalized the question of gay marriage, but that doesn’t mean that advertising has caught up or has any fewer stereotypes of gay and lesbian couples than it did before. Even if we didn’t have a part in the creation of such politically misguided advertising, we should be embarrassed that we would even allow such patently offensive material to air in the first place.

Even more liberal advertisers have not made as much progress as we would like to think. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PeTA) only removed this billboard after an overwhelmingly large public outcry against it:

Even by 1970s standards, that ad is offensive not to mention that it is misinformative. Eating a vegetarian diet doesn’t help if one’s general intake and eating habits are still unhealthy. Yes, there are diabetic and obese vegetarians. Shaming people because of their size is not helpful.

Ad agencies like to think they’re at the forefront of bringing out social change. Certainly, there are a number of ad campaigns that have done a lot of good in moving us to be more inclusive, understanding, and accepting of each other, as well as encouraging more healthy behavior. But before we get a cramp patting ourselves on the back, we need to take a good look at the places where we still reinforce old stereotypes and insensitive and offensive behavior. We’ve likely not made as much progress as we would like to think.

pop culture / PotD

Weekend Of No Regrets

April 18, 2016

The water cooler conversation in every job I’ve had is sports, it’s what did you do this weekend, it’s ‘How are your parents doing?’ —Kal Penn

charles i. letbetter - weekend with no regrets

Don’t let social media guilt you into thinking you had a bad weekend. It was just fine.

Nope, I didn’t attend Coachella this weekend. Chances are pretty high you didn’t, either. Sorry, but if I have a spare $1,500 I’m not likely to spend it on tickets to a music festival at some polo club in Indio, California. I don’t really care who was there. I don’t give a damn what they were wearing or which pseudocelebrity’s nipple ring showed through her top (yeah, I would have thought pseudocelebrity was hyphenated but my editor insists that it’s not). I didn’t attend a major league baseball game, or even an NBA playoff. I didn’t go to the movies. I didn’t even watch Netflix. I didn’t do any of the things my newsfeed is trying to convince me I missed over the weekend.

Do I have any regrets? Not a one. I would hope that you don’t, either. While the celebrities and movie stars flaunt the fact they don’t have anything better to do with their time or their money, but want to make sure you see them anyway, we were hanging out here in Indiana, of all places, quietly having a good weekend, building memories, doing things that actually yield a positive result and build a stronger community.

One of the downsides of social media is seeing what everyone else is doing. Pictures of friends and celebrities in far off exotic places or on vacation, can cause us to feel that our normal, everyday, sometimes less-than-thrilling lives are somehow incomplete because we’re not doing any of the really “cool” stuff. We may be jealous. We may feel depressed. We might think that our lives are incomplete.

You know better. You’ve always known better. You know as well as I do that chasing frivolous things just for the attention ends up being shallow. You don’t need me to pull out the dozens of sociological studies that show we’re at our happiest when we’re spending time with friends and family, or just relaxing and reading a book. You don’t need me to remind you that our lives feel better and more fulfilled when we completely unplug from all forms of media every once in a while. Yet, when all those pictures start popping up in Facebook and on Instagram, we still get those twinges of guilt that perhaps we didn’t do enough, or didn’t do the most cool things.

What did we do this weekend? We had Long’s donuts for breakfast. We tilled the garden and started getting it ready to plant. There was a huge piece of shrubbery that has been bugging us, so Kat’s dad came over and helped rip that monster from the ground. We celebrated a couple of birthdays. Kat gave her sister a scalp massage. The kids made new friends, managed to get absolutely filthy more than once, made their own pizzas, and enjoyed having birthday cake. Bubbles were blown. Laundry was washed, folded, and put away. Kat came to the rescue of a friend with a baby sitting need and I spent some time Skyping with my 18-year-old. Somehow, we managed to find time in there to buy groceries, write four articles, and Kat was at the salon from open to close on Sunday.

Each and every one of the things we did holds more value than getting sunburned while standing in the middle of a field trying to listen to a band that you can’t even see. We were productive, we got some rest, and we spent time with people who are genuinely important to our lives.

We don’t have to travel hundreds of miles and pretend to be something we’re not in order to have a good weekend. Neither do you. We had a good weekend. No regrets. I’m willing to bet yours was just as wonderful. Drop the guilt and enjoy the memories.

photography

It is necessary to fall in love… if only to provide an alibi for all the random despair you are going to feel anyway. —Albert Camus

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Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame! —William Butler Yeats

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Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. —Langston Hughes

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To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering. —Friedrich Nietzsche

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We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies – it is the first law of nature. —Voltaire

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Truth is the cry of all, but the game of few. —George Berkeley

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The degree of one’s emotions varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts. —Bertrand Russell

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Should I go on playing bridge and dining, going in the same old monotonous circle? It’s easy that way, but it’s a sort of suicide, too. —Antoinette Perry

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My mother was a single mom, and most of the women I know are strong. —Regina King

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I think there is a danger there of being mean to people and humiliating people and embarrassing people just because it might get you ratings. It is a disturbing trend. —Bruce Nash

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Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping. —Bo Derek

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Our nation has not made the level of investment on a federal level that can have the positive effect on suicide that has happened for the other leading causes of death. —Dr. Christine Moutier, chief medical officer of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

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The rewards of freedom are always sweet, but its demands are stern, for at its heart is the paradox that the greatest enemy of freedom is freedom. —Os Guinness

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We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us. —Joan Rivers

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I can say unequivocally that the boycott does not work. It’s never complete enough to have impact unless it’s backed by force, and I don’t think anybody in America seriously proposes that. —Helen Suzman

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One thing above all gives charm to men’s thoughts, and this is unrest. A mind that is not uneasy irritates and bores me. —Anatole France

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We in the industrialized world make a greater difference because our ecological footprint, our impact on the condition of the environment, is 40 to 50 times larger than that of people in the developing world. —Maurice Strong

car·bon foot·print

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The key to longevity is to learn every aspect of music that you can. — Prince

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Rivers, ponds, lakes, and streams – they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do – they all contain truths. —Muhammad Ali

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Obscenity is a moral concept in the verbal arsenal of the establishment, which abuses the term by applying it, not to expressions of its own morality but to those of another. —Herbert Marcuse

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One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. —Plato

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The Pulitzer Prize is an idea; it’s a vote of confidence. Like literature, it exists purely in the mind. —Jeffrey Eugenides

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All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song. —Louis Armstrong

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Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. —Benjamin Franklin

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The water cooler conversation in every job I’ve had is sports, it’s what did you do this weekend, it’s ‘How are your parents doing?’ —Kal Penn

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