Naked Thoughts While Walking The Dog

Naked Thoughts While Walking The Dog

June 5, 2016

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights! —Warren G. Harding

Walking the dog of the morning gives some time for quiet contemplation before life is cluttered by the day

Random. Thoughts I have while walking the dog each morning are just that: random. Naked. I don’t look at any news or check any headlines before we head out the door. I do put on pants, just in case I’m not the only lunatic up at 4:00 in the morning (and I’m not), but other than that I’m unencumbered; just the dog and I out for a stroll. He’s interested in finding a fire hydrant where he can pee (he has a favorite). I’m interested in sorting through my dreams and the thoughts that linger from the previous day.

Sunday morning is a great time for that manner of contemplation. None of the thoughts are necessarily huge or impressive in any way. Just thoughts that are worth thinking for a moment, and then we let them slip back into the quiet places of our brain until we might actually need them in conversation. These are the moments where we work out for ourselves exactly how we feel about a topic, the hows and the whys and the justifications. Walking the dog is good for the brain that way.

Having a dog to walk is important, though. When people see someone, especially a man dressed in dark clothes, out walking by himself in the middle of the night they tend to make negative assumptions. One evening, a couple of weeks after I graduated from college, I was walking through my neighborhood at dusk and a man comes rushing out of his house wanting to know what I was stalking him and his wife. I wasn’t, of course. But to claim otherwise was apparently calling his wife a liar. I could have used a dog right then. No one questions what you’re doing when you are walking a dog.

One of the things that popped into my mind this morning was a couple of pictures posted by a friend who now lives in California. She grew up here in Indy, was quite a free spirit, and posed for me on a few occasions. The pictures were of her and her mate, a British chap, out frolicking about in the California forests completely naked. The pictures posted, of course, managed to meet social media requirements, covering up nipples and such. I’m sure there are more revealing photos, though. On one hand, I’m proud of the two of them for taking those pictures. They didn’t hide their faces or do anything to deny that it was them in the photos. They owned their nudity and were happy in a way I wish everyone could be happy. At the same time, I was a little jealous that I wasn’t the one taking those pictures. I couldn’t be. I’m not in California. There aren’t enough people in Indiana who feel that free. They’ve all moved out West, or so it seems.

We went to a wedding last night. We took the kids along. The couple was beautiful. The mix of religious cultures was beautiful. The ceremony appropriately reflected who they are. Just before the ceremony was about to start, though, it rained. Stormed, actually, and quite seriously at that. The ceremony was held under a tent and most guests had already taken their seats. The tents didn’t have sides. My seat was along the edge. I spent the evening with my right pants leg completely soaked by the rain. I find the experience amusing. The rest of me was quite dry and the dampness did not impede my ability to enjoy the ceremony. The storm helped keep the kids in check, too. There was just this awkward sloshing sound as I was walking across the lawn. It’s a uniqueness that will help me remember the event.

I miss the days when people would just randomly stop by for a few pictures. Maybe they had a new outfit. Maybe they were just bored. Maybe they were feeling adventurous and enjoyed getting naked in front of the camera. All of those were true at various times with different people. No one does that now, though. Speedway isn’t as popular as Broad Ripple. No one comes over here then stops and grabs a burger or pizza on their way home. No one can park at our house then walk down the street to meet friends and go out for the night. I’m not convenient anymore. But then, none of those friends who once dropped by do the Broad Ripple scene anymore. They’ve grown up. Some have kids. Several moved away. We get older and we stay home. We don’t drop by and visit anyone. We do Netflix and nap.

The lawn needs mowing again, but I won’t do it today. I’m not inclined to spend an hour walking back and forth across the yard. Maybe we’ll get started on the fence, though; get some holes dug.

The dog’s choices of places to pee is rather random. Sure, there’s the fire hydrant, but as his nose is sniffing along the ground there is apparently some randomly occurring fragrance that triggers his bladder, forcing him to stop and pee right now. Why does he choose to pee where he does? I suppose I could ask that same question about humans, though. I’ve actively avoided wading into that whole bathroom argument because I consider the very concept to be among the most ludicrous notions ever concocted. Talk about finding a solution for which there was no problem, North Carolina’s HB2 did just that. There wasn’t a problem. Now, everyone’s talking about where to go pee and that’s just about the most stupid waste of time I’ve ever seen. If you’re caught up in stopping people from peeing in certain places, you’re dumber than my hound dog.

However, I did discover this video last night. The music is incredible. My only problem is that I’ve never seen Harvey Fierstein without facial hair. I wasn’t prepared for that specific form of nakedness. His bare chin threw me for a loop. Mr. Fierstein wrote on his Facebook page:

So, you don’t like transgender people? Have the balls to honestly say it. Today’s bathroom controversy is fueled by the same bigots that sought to ban gay and lesbian teachers forty years ago. All these years later they’re still hiding behind the claim that they’re only protecting their children.

These discussions are great opportunities to educate and strengthen the bonds that make us all one human family. But when I see discussions on social media proposing a Men’s Room for adult males, a Ladies’ Room for adult females, a Little Girls’s Room for little girls, a little Boy’s Room for little boys and then another pair of bathrooms for Little Boys with a parent and Little Girls with a parent… Well, it’s time to take a step back and laugh at our own absurdity.

Hmmmm, is that Wayne Brady in drag as Lola? I’m never quite sure.

Enough walking for this morning. My legs hurt and the dog’s ready to eat. Enjoy your Sunday.

Art / Current Issues / Mythology / PotD

The Challenge Of Remembering Muhammad Ali

June 4, 2016

I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want. —Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali was more than just a champ, he was The Greatest. Mere words are not enough.

On the off chance you missed it elsewhere, Muhammad Ali died last night. He was the headline on this morning’s New York Times. Again. You can read his obituary here; please do, someone worked hard to get it just right. There are obituaries is almost every publication available this morning. Ali was one of those people who transcended his sport. He wasn’t just a boxer. He wasn’t just the three-time champion. He wasn’t just the rebel. He was The Greatest, and that presents a problem right now.

Have you ever met a boxer? Not just someone who messes around in a local gym, but a real heavyweight? They’re unique individuals. I’ve met Evander Hollifield on a few occasions, even have pictures running around here of him at a Christmas party. He’s a big man, but he’s no Ali. I’ve literally run into Ken Norton (ouch, that hurt) once, but he’s definitely no Ali. I’ve seen George Foreman from across the room; he’s big and he’s mouthy, but he’s never been close to being Ali.

Are you beginning to see the problem? When Muhammad Ali first called himself The Greatest, it stuck not because it made good print copy, not because it was audacious, but because he was right, and everyone knew it whether they wanted to admit it or not. When one is The Greatest, it is difficult to write an obituary or memorial piece because there is no adequate comparison against which to judge him. No one did what he did, the way he did it, with the mouth, the rebellion, and the dominating force that was present both in and out of the ring. No one. How the hell can anyone encapsulate that into a single article?

The answer is: you can’t. Since the early 1960s, people have been trying to tell the story of this man born Cassius Marcellus Clay in Louisville, Kentucky. His filmography listing on IMDB is as long as anyone’s. The hundreds of thousands of newspaper articles are impossible to accurately index. Photos number in the millions. People have been trying to document the life of this man longer than I’ve been alive and no one has gotten a full, complete picture. It’s not going to happen because Ali was The Greatest and that’s just too much to every put into one box.

Much of what is written about Ali today is going to center around his boxing and the controversy surrounding both his unusual style and his public actions outside the ring. Those are the pieces most well-known in this very public life, and yes, they are important, but there’s so much more that is likely to be missed.

For example, did you know that Ali’s father was a painter? A damned good one, too. There are still a few places around Louisville where the work of Cassius Clay, Sr. can still be found. Had he come along some twenty or thirty years later, Clay, Sr. might have been a celebrated artist and his son might have taken a very different path through life. That wasn’t what the universe had planned, though. Clay, Sr. couldn’t even begin to get the attention of the established art world in the 1950s and that fueled an anger that influenced his son.

Ali was largely illiterate. The state of public education for blacks being what it was, he was never taught to read well and as a result, the rest of his academic experience was far from notable. Fortunately, he was extremely good at memorizing and would carefully re-write his speeches over and over and over until he had them cold. He could also be very spontaneous, even at a young age, with a wit that was sharp and biting, but often humorous as well. Again, had he come up at a different time, given a different educational experience, he might have been a great actor, but that didn’t happen either.

The champ took his religion seriously. When he converted from Christianity to Islam in 1964, a lot of people thought it was just a publicity stunt. Many others thought it was merely a dodge to avoid being drafted into the Vietnam situation. What few saw was that his conversion was real. While the path he took had some challenges and perhaps a misstep or two along the way, his was not merely an emotional conversion without any conscientious backing. He knew what he was doing. He sincerely believed the writings of the Quran and tried living according to its principles, even when the whole religion was under fire.

What may be most difficult to communicate, though, is that Muhammad Ali achieved all that he did, became what he was, triumphed over everything while being a black man in a white man’s world. Those of us who are not black, and perhaps even some who are, cannot begin to understand the enormity of the challenge that placed on Ali from the moment he was born. Even after winning the Olympic gold medal for boxing in 1960, there were still restaurants at which he couldn’t eat. Even in his hometown of Louisville, he was still referred to by that ugly n-word. Those of us who have never been in that situation, who have never endured racism at its most harsh and consistent and oppressive reality don’t have a clue what it takes to break away, to still climb to the very top, not just the top of boxing, but the top of American society and declare, “I am The Greatest.” Muhammad Ali did just that, though.

There have been a lot of famous people die already this year, many of them catching us by surprise. Ali’s death wasn’t a surprise, and it wasn’t something he feared. The announcement early yesterday afternoon that the champ was in the hospital on life support was a courteous way of letting media outlets know they needed to update their files and prepare their stories for publication. Ali didn’t have long, and less than 24 hours later he was gone. The challenge in writing about Ali’s death, though, isn’t that he was just famous. He didn’t just do that one thing way back in the 60s or 70s. Ali was more than just a 30-second memorial clip running on the morning news. Muhammad Ali was The Greatest. There’s never been anyone like him. There never will be ever again.

All the words, the pictures, and the videos are simply not enough. Muhammad Ali was larger-than-life in ways that can never be sufficiently captured or explained. The best we can do is try to tell our children and grandchildren that there once was a man who overcame everything the world could throw at him to become The Greatest.

His name was Muhammad Ali.

Art / PotD / science

Only The Artists Survive

June 3, 2016

The modern artist must live by craft and violence. His gods are violent gods. Those artists, so called, whose work does not show this strife, are uninteresting. —Ezra Pound

charles i. letbetter - only the artists survive

When Artificial Intelligence takes all the jobs, what’s left for us to do but make art?

All the career advice sites are wrong. There is only one group that grows through all the coming economic and political upheavals and they’re not computer engineers, stock market gurus, or the incredibly brainy astrophysicists; they are artists. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it, that after all these centuries of struggling that it would be artists that ultimately survive? But that may very well be what the future has in store.

First, though, here’s the bad news: Computers are going to take your jobs. Artificial Intelligence (AI) is growing rapidly and even though AI is still years from matching humans on every level, they are incrementally improving every day. There isn’t likely to be one giant robotic takeover. Instead, they’ll simply take a few jobs here, a few there, and a few more later until they have them all. We will wake up one morning and realize that no one is hiring because all the jobs are automated.

Robotic arms have been a reality on manufacturing floors for several years. There hasn’t been a new car roll off an assembly line in 20 years that hasn’t been touched at some point by a robot. Just last month, fast-food chain Wendy’s announced that they are beginning to test self-serve kiosks operated by robots in response to rising operational costs. McDonald’s has already expressed interest in similar technology. Eventually, there will be no need for either manufacturing line workers or food service employees at any level of operation.

Financial services don’t get off any better. Earlier this week BMO Harris Bank announced it is laying off four percent of its workforce due to a decline in branch transaction. Why the decline? Automation. As cash becomes less of a necessity, we don’t need branch bank employees to handle checks or withdrawals. Almost every branch transaction can be done on a smartphone, including deposits. Stock exchange operations have also been largely computer controlled for over 30 years and are at a point now where floor traders are already obsolete, but the industry just can’t imagine giving them up. The entire sector will eventually dissolve into digital and AI operations.

The picture doesn’t get any better. Almost anywhere one looks, AI is slowly taking over. Slowly. First, they start with the tasks no one likes doing, the little things that are easy, things that are repetitive, jobs that seem to take more effort than they’re worth. We buy into the concept that they are saving us time and money. Over time, we continue giving them more tasks, the programming develops to the point they gain “intelligence.” Then, someone realizes it is more efficient to just let the computers and robots and digital devices do everything. At that point, you’re out of a job.

What do we do if there are no jobs? Well, maybe a flat rate income from the government is the answer. Silicon Valley start-up incubator Y Combinator is looking at that possibility. Earlier this year, they began a five-year study to examine the impact of giving everyone, without exception, a flat, standard living wage. The prospects are monumental and the results could reach every aspect of society as we now know it.

Not everyone is waiting for the research. Citizens of Switzerland are voting on a referendum this Sunday that would give every person a guaranteed income of 30,000 Swiss francs, equivalent to just over $32,000 in US dollars. The move has plenty of critics, to be sure. Yet, it is a real-world experiment that every other country on the planet will be watching should it pass.

So, when all the jobs are gone and everyone is living on a fixed government-provided wage, what’s left? Who still has the ability to generate revenue on their own?

Artists.

Probably not all artists, mind you. There are already computers doing impressive work composing music. And there’s a software in development that creates abstract digital art. Not everyone is going to succeed.

Still, artists are going to have a much better advantage than are those in more traditional fields of employment because what artists do is more difficult to interpret digitally. Artists don’t follow a specific set of rules or steps or procedures to produce a predictable and quantifiable outcome. Artists start from nothing, sometimes without even a clear idea, and create something from that nothing. All that abstract creative and emotional thinking is something AI is least likely to achieve.

Those in the practical arts, such as cosmetologists, estheticians, glassworks, fashion design, and the advanced elements of woodworking and ceramics, are not only going to survive this cataclysmic shift but they are best positioned to survive. The combination of creative artistry with the ability to fulfill a current and on-going demand puts these artists at the very top of the food chain. People who are not working are going to have more time to care about the aesthetics around them and are likely to invest more in looking good.

Fine artists aren’t left out of the equation, though. As the supply of all things AI-manufactured begins to grow, the demand for original, one-of-a-kind pieces is almost certain to grow as well. While AI may take away our jobs and our income, they won’t take away that basic human fallacy of wanting to have something that no one else has. In an economic society where everyone is paid exactly the same, social differentiation takes place along the lines of how one spends that money. Those who invest their money in things no one else has, or can have, become the new “upper class” in this aesthetically driven society.

Visual artists, those creating works that can be touched and possessed are likely to find high demand for their work. We are, after all, creatures of greed. That greed, for better or worse, has driven societies for over two millennia and isn’t going to stop just because the basic income is the same for everyone. Writers are likely to do very well, also, as the ability of AI to capture deep emotions through words is an aspect that may be impossible to duplicate. Actors are likely to do well, though they may find working with robots on the technical aspects of lighting and stage construction rather irritating.

Artificial Intelligence is coming. Combine that with the Internet of Things that looms on the very near horizon and the need for humans to do ordinary, everyday things diminishes dramatically. 2020 seems to be a year many are forecasting to be the first major turning point as driverless cars and fully automated services should be online and functional. Slowly, but surely, the day is coming when employment as we know it now no longer exists.

Unless you’re an artist. For the future, artists rule.

It’s about time.

Current Issues / PotD

Protecting The Press

June 2, 2016

An able, disinterested, public-spirited press, with trained intelligence to know the right and courage to do it, can preserve that public virtue without which popular government is a sham and a mockery. —Joseph Pulitzer

charles i. letbetter - protecting the press

The power of the press to remain critical of a government and its leaders is the cornerstone of a free country

For the past several years, we’ve bemoaned the doom and gloom of a press that has seen its influence wane, its integrity challenged, and its profitability eroding. Critics rightly claim that what passes as journalism today is hardly a shadow of what it was a mere twenty years ago. Amidst the glut of twenty-four-hour cable and online streaming news, even the once powerful homes of Murrow, Cronkite, and Brinkley are now forced to battle for ratings. It is sad to see the Fourth Estate in such sad condition.

There is, however, an even worse situation on the horizon, one that’s been quietly building in smaller countries and now beginning to rear its ugly head at the top of powerful governments. While we as Americans have always honored the concept of a free press, we are seeing an increasing threat of violence against those who dare to report the truth.

I felt a chill yesterday morning when I read that Philippine president-elect Rodrigo Duterte said Tuesday that, “Just because you’re a journalist you are not exempted from assassination, if you’re a son of a bitch.” This comes after yet another reporter was shot dead in the streets of Manila last week. 174 journalists have been killed in the country over the past three decades. Duterte is one of those people who dislikes the press challenging him, which they have done often. His response is violent and unconscionable. Yet, he’s not alone.

Reporters Without Borders released their 2016 World Press Freedom Index a month ago and some of the numbers contained therein are extremely disconcerting:

Venezuela has had 16 journalists attacked, one editor imprisoned, and 22 media bosses are forbidden to leave the country.
In Russia, 70 journalists have been attacked, 81 arrested, and even social media users are being harassed.
Turkey prosecuted over 1000 people for “insulting the president,” arrested over 100 journalists, and have critical editors imprisoned.
Egypt has 23 journalists in prison where they are tortured and beaten on a regular basis.
Iran completely closed six media outlets and has 32 journalists in inhumane prisons.
China has over 100 journalists imprisoned, their families harassed, and many tortured.

We used to think, “that couldn’t happen here,” but it is. The foundations are being laid with the rhetoric of a major presidential candidate that is decidedly anti-press. The latest came Tuesday when he called ABC’s Tom Llamas, “a sleaze.” A few seconds later he sarcastically called CNN’s Jim Acosta, “a real beauty.” While the insults may seem harmless, they are indicative of a would-be leader who dislikes being criticized and considers himself above scrutiny. He has also booted Univision anchor Jorge Ramos from a press conference with a warning that he “holds grudges.” He’s called Fox News analyst Charles Krauthammer “totally overrated,” blasts reporters who challenge him on any issue, and perhaps most famously called Fox’s Megyn Kelly a “bimbo.”

While the temptation is to dismiss this nonsense as just that: nonsense, the fact is that such continual bashing of the press builds up a resentment toward all media that would attempt to investigate and report on the truth in any form other than what has been government-approved. This is no slippery slope. This is outright repression of the press and, should this horrible person actually be elected, we can only assume that press freedoms would further erode.

Former CBS News anchor Dan Rather, who himself took some pretty heavy criticism from the Nixon administration, took to Facebook last night and expressed what I think a lot of us are feeling. I don’t often quote large passages like this, but in this instance I feel his words are far superior to anything I might concoct, not to mention more authoritative. Here’s what he said:

I felt a shudder down my spine yesterday watching Donald Trump’s fusillade against the press. This is not a moment to be trifled with. It wasn’t his first tirade and it won’t be his last.

I was reminded of my college journalism professor, the late Hugh Cunningham, who would exhort his young charges in a thundering voice to “never let them scare you.” It was his most important lesson. One of Edward R. Murrow’s favorite words was “steady.” That also bears repeating today.

This is a dirty, nasty election. And it is only going to get worse. The reporters in the trenches need no lecture from me. They are walking through daily minefields, bracing themselves against winds of discontent whose effects no one can predict.

I know what it is like to sit in those seats and feel the scorn and even wrath of politicians of all political persuasions. Attacking the press for unfair coverage has long been a bipartisan pursuit. Sometimes it works. I am happy to say that more often it doesn’t. But Trump’s brand of vituperation is particularly personal and vicious. It carries with it the drumbeats of threatening violence. It cannot be left unanswered.

This is not about politics or policy. It’s about protecting our most cherished principles. The relationship between the press and the powerful they cover is by its very definition confrontational. That is how the Founding Fathers envisioned it, with noble clauses of protection enshrined in our Constitution.

Good journalism–the kind that matters–requires reporters who won’t back up, back down, back away or turn around when faced with efforts to intimidate them. It also requires owners and other bosses with guts, who stand by and for their reporters when the heat is on.

I still believe the pen is mightier than the sword. And in these conflicted and troubled times, we should reward the bravery of the men and women not afraid to ask the hard questions of everyone in power. Our nation’s future depends on it.

We, as citizens of a country that might best be described as tumultuous, are dependent upon the press. Despite the shortcomings of infotainment-based newscasts, we still need them to be our eyes and our ears within the halls of power. Governments that act secretly ultimately enslave their people. If we are to preserve our democracy, with must protect the freedom and sanctity of the press and all those who in any way participate in the reporting of the news.

Otherwise, we are every bit as bad as Russia, China, and the Philippines.

Update, June 5: The Republican candidate is ever more firm in his intent to destroy the rights of the press guaranteed by the first amendment. Should he win, anyone who says anything he doesn’t like would be a target. Don’t take my word for it. Watch the words come from his own filthy mouth.

Current Issues / PotD

Respect For Being Human

June 1, 2016

I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being. —Jackie Robinson

When it comes to listing one’s faults, those qualities that are the result of being human should never be among them

Humans are imperfect beings. One of the fears expressed in developing artificial intelligence is that as computers begin to realize just how inept and flawed we are they might consider us a blight on the planet that needs to be destroyed. There are days I tend to agree with the computers. We are selfish, mean, greedy, slothful, undependable, gluttonous, prideful, envious, disrespectful, racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, thoughtless, and absolutely despicable.

Even worse, we attempt to mask our failings with false justifications such as, “I’m just keeping it real,” or, “He’s just speaking his mind,” or, “I’m only telling you for your own good,” and, “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” Each of those statements is designed to cover for the fact that preceding and/or following statements are likely to be rude, insensitive, inaccurate, distasteful, inappropriate and downright mean. We have conned ourselves into believing that if we label the trash coming out of our mouths as “truth” then no one can argue against it.

Bullshit.

One of the things that make being human respectable is that we can change. Once our flaws and weaknesses are pointed out to us, we have the ability to correct our actions, to make amends, and we even have the ability to apologize. Just because we make a mistake once doesn’t mean we have to continue making that error. We can learn and improve. It’s called progress.

Unfortunately, we too often fail to utilize that benefit. Instead of improving ourselves and working on our own flaws, we would rather pick on other people, attacking aspects of their humanity over which they have no control, such as body size, shape, skin color, gender, sexuality, language, nationality, and other hereditary factors which come with the package of being a unique being. Too often, we see what we don’t like in ourselves and project that dislike onto other people, saying and doing things that are totally unacceptable and, in some cases, even illegal.

The 14th amendment of the Constitution reads in part:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

The most important, and frequently litigated, phrase from that section is “equal protection.” What this amendment ultimately means is that no citizen is to be discriminated against for any reason. There are no exceptions made, no allowances for differences of opinion. All citizens of the United States are to be treated equally. Period. While the amendment was adopted in 1868, though, we are still having an extreme amount of difficulty understanding that there are no exceptions to being equal.

One of the challenges is that many of the discriminatory and anti-human attitudes and activities that still persist are encoded in both tradition and the regulations we have made for ourselves. We have told ourselves that appearance matters, that certain traits are acceptable while others are not, and that some aspects of one’s personal being should be accentuated while others should be downplayed, hidden, and even surgically altered. In short, we fail to have respect for the fact that we are human.

We often refer to incidents of body-shaming. There have been plenty of such problems hitting the media lately. One of the most recent comes from actress Kate Beckinsale claiming that she was body-shamed by director Michael Bay while filming the 2001 movie Pearl Harbor. Ms. Beckinsale states:

I think he was baffled by me because my boobs weren’t bigger than my head, and I wasn’t blonde.

If we have made any improvements over the past 15 years, it may be that men, at least those who are in public on a regular basis, have been conditioned to, at the very least, keep their mouths shut when it comes to making statements about a woman’s physical appearance. When one does step out of line, the Internet, especially Twitter, is very quick to respond and call attention to any inappropriate statements.

Where we’ve not made such an improvement, however, is how women mistreat other women, and men actually seem to encourage their bad behavior. Catfights on reality television, which are considered ratings gold, only perpetuate a culture of disrespect and even physical violence between women and men do nothing but stand on the sidelines cheering them on! How do we not see how absolutely repulsive and repugnant our behavior is? Disparaging another person for aspects of simply being human is wrong on every conceivable level.

Some of you have been following our story from last week regarding the woman we named Lenore and the nipple shaming she had received from her employer. We then updated that story yesterday upon discovering that a second employee, whom we’ll call Julia, had received an even more harsh reprimand because of her Philippino accent. Never mind the fact that Julia has worked hard on her English and probably speaks better than 70% of the Americans who walk through the business doors. Because someone had complained, the owner of the business considered the accent a problem.

After we made that update, the owner of the business called Lenore and proceeded to thoroughly shame every aspect of her physical appearance, from her face to her footwear. Lenore was left in tears, totally humiliated for simply being human.

Earlier this morning, we received a message from Julia announcing that she was quitting her job. Lenore has not yet given official notice but plans to do the same later this morning.

We need to get it through our thick heads that we are all human and we need to show respect for those aspects of our humanity that are inherent to our being. We need to stop fat-shaming people who have thyroid and other physical conditions that make it impossible for them to safely lose weight. We need to stop beauty-shaming women who refuse to damage their skin by wearing an overabundance of makeup. We need to stop making fun of people’s language accents; at least they are bilingual, something the people doing the shaming can seldom say. We need to stop drawing attention to people’s body parts; whether breasts are big or small is totally irrelevant, as is their nipple size.

Showing respect for human beings means taking a look at things such as dress codes and eliminating gender bias and unnecessary restrictions that do not have a direct correlation to the duties being performed. We need to move beyond the Disney-induced notion that the less attractive a person is the more evil and unacceptable they must be. Disparaging people simply for being human is not something a progressive society can allow to continue.

Unfortunately, in far too many cases, we seem to be moving in the opposite direction. We actually have a leading contender for the office of President who routinely shames and makes fun of other people. His comments about women and minorities have been absolutely deplorable and represent the absolute worst aspects of being human. There is no excuse. There is no way to justify such deplorable behavior on the part of anyone.

While you may have a right to say what you wish, you have a responsibility to know when to keep your fucking mouth shut. If what you are about to say shows disrespect and/or discrimination toward another person, shut the fuck up! The circumstances are irrelevant. The media is irrelevant. Even the actions of the other person are irrelevant. You have a responsibility to show respect to all people, regardless of physical appearance, gender, race, national origin, sexuality, mental acuity, emotional stability, medical ailment, or physical challenges. If you fail to live up to that responsibility in any way, shape, or form, then you are WRONG.

Humans can be absolutely horrible creatures and do well to fear the presence of a more objective and intelligent being that might consider our faults justification for our demise. The only thing that stands in our defense is that we have the ability to change and to move beyond our shortcomings.

We need to get busy and start changing. Show respect for being human. Learn when to keep your mouth shut and start supporting other people rather than looking for ways to tear them down.

Art / Photography

All About The Pictures

May 31, 2016

The world today doesn’t make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do? —Pablo Picasso

May Day gives us an option: we can either dance, or we can protest. Which is likely to do us the most good?

Why do you come here? Is it for the pictures or for the articles? Most of the time I assume you’re here for the pictures, but according to our stats for this past month, more of you have been reading the articles. At least, that’s what we assume since it takes you longer before leaving the page. We’re also keenly aware that not many of you visit every day. We don’t blame you. Few people have time or inclination to visit any website every day. So, it’s just natural that you’re going to miss something cool from time to time.

We decided, since it’s the last day of the month and I’m so freaking tired of talking around political topics without getting too horribly involved, that we would give you a chance to catch up on some of the pictures you’ve missed. The is a bit one-sided since I’m not linking you to the articles at the same time. I thought about that option, but that would mean leaving this page or opening a new tab/window, any of which could become very confusing. So, this one is for all the people who come here for the photos. We’re posting all the main images from this month’s articles; not the header images and none of the images contained in a slide show.

In case one of the photos strikes your curiosity and you want to see exactly what we were talking about, you can go to our blog page and scroll down. We began the month with Dance or Protest and continued through topics ranging from moms to using god as an excuse to the absence of free will to more talk about nipples. Oh, and a BUNCH of people got upset about this post, but nearly ignored this one and this one, either of which are more important. That just shows how different our priorities are.

This is for all our photography fans. Thank you for visiting. We hope to see you more often in June.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Just For Fun / Mythology / PotD

A Non-Traditional Wedding

May 31, 2016

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. —James Thurber

Nothing about a wedding should be traditional. The marriage is new so everything about it should be also.

Tomorrow is June, the official wedding month. Yay. Whoopee. Yawn.

Anyone who knows me understands that I don’t like weddings all that much. I’ll attend them for really close friends, but I don’t like shooting them at all and generally find them to be a giant waste of cash. All a wedding does is reinforce a centuries-old concept of patriarchal society in which women were considered nothing more than property.

That whole walking down the aisle thing? Comes from an ancient tradition of sealing a contract. The seller would walk with whatever was being purchased between the two halves of slaughtered cattle as a symbol that should the seller not be honest and the goods not live up to their promise, the seller would become like the cattle: split in two. If a daughter was being sold, which often happened, she would be walked by her father between the pieces of dead animals. Talk about a bloody wedding! Why in the world would we want to perpetuate that imagery?

Weddings do have a legal advantage, of course, which makes them necessary in more cases than not. That may well change in the future, but for the moment such a reality is in place and even has Kat and I planning a wedding somewhere in the future. While government may demand we legalize our union in order to receive increasingly questionable benefits, we might as well make it a party.

There is no need to keep with the traditional concept of a wedding, though, which is why I have taken the drastic step of becoming a member of the clergy. I kid you not. Here is a copy of my official ordination certificate:

For those of my older friends who might be confused, yes, I was once-upon-a-time licensed (not ordained) by a Southern Baptist church in Oklahoma, but I’m pretty sure they’ve long since rescinded that particular piece of paper.

The nice thing about being a Dudeist priest is that I can pretty much make shit up as I go. There’s no orthodoxy, no traditions, no commandments, nor any regulations to follow. The ordination is legal in all 50 states, so I can officially perform weddings anywhere and make them as original and non-conformists as is appropriate to the situation. If you want a wedding that defies convention, I’m your man. That’ll be $50 plus airfare and accommodations. Photos are extra; a lot extra.

I understand you may still be skeptical. I would be. So, to help calm your fears (or stoke them even more) here is a copy of the wedding ceremony that I’ve written. That means it’s copyrighted, jerks, so don’t try stealing it. We are gender neutral at the Church of the Latter-Day Dude, so we’re using the terms Spouse A and Spouse B rather than bridge and groom. We really don’t care who takes which role. Here’s the ceremony:

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here with friends, family, and a couple of people no one likes but the couple felt obligated to invite anyway, to unite these crazy love birds, Spouse A and Spouse B, in legal matrimony. If you were looking for Holy matrimony, you hired the wrong Dude.

Spouse A and Spouse B have decided to join their lives and a portion of their worldly possessions together not only for the tax and spousal benefits but because they believe in this crazy little thing called love and were looking for a good excuse to throw a party. It is their hope that this expression of love and sappy sentiment will ignite in each of you a passion for something other than crappy macramè and cheap bottles of wine.

While marriage itself is a long-standing representation of male domination, both Spouse A and Spouse B are vanilla and kindly ask that you save your rope and ball gags until after the cake has been served.

Spouse A and Spouse B, you stand here together as a symbol of your acquiescence to social morès and traditions established by people who could not have anticipated the degree of fabulousness you share. In entering this union, the coolness between you also joins, then splits violently like a hydrogen atom creating a romantic energy that will brighten your darkest days, the fallout from which will cause the disenfranchised to wretch slightly at the sight of your public displays of affection. With such incredible power between you, this marriage may well inspire others to write books, or love poems, or at least a documentary for Netflix.

Marriage is not an easy road and many have fallen into the potholes and never been seen nor heard from again because heaven forbid this stupid state spend a dime on infrastructure. You will face many challenges, from trying to remember the date of this auspicious event to trying to not commit murder when you find out Spouse A’s cousin voted for the downfall of the free world. You have to power between you to overcome these challenges. Remember to update your calendar daily and compare family notes before holidays.

The vows you exchange today are not legally binding and are not meant to enslave or unreasonably obligate the other. They are an expression of your commitment to each other at least through the end of the reception. So, will you please join hands and, Spouse A, please repeat after me.

I, Spouse A,
Do take you, Spouse B,
to be my lawfully wedded other
to hold and to snuggle but not too tight
to cherish on the good days
and tolerate on the bad;
when you’re healthy and
when you’re puking;
to listen when you’re correct
and not tease you more than three days when you’re wrong again;
from this day forward until one of us becomes intolerable
or is convicted of a Class A felony.

Spouse B, here’s your equal time. Please repeat after me, loud enough for you mother to hear because she never thought she’d live to see this day.

I, Spouse B,
do take you, Spouse A,
to be my lawfully wedded other
to embrace and to fondle
to celebrate your achievements
and quietly dismiss your failures
not matter how frequent and public they may be;
to remind you to take your meds
and to scream at the insurance rep
when the pharmacist says they’re not covered under our new plan;
from this day forward
until one of us is deported
or becomes mentally incapacitated
and becomes a ward of the state.

That wasn’t so bad, was it? Now, may I have the fiery brands of ownership, er, I mean, the rings, please? [Receives rings from Best Dude and holds them above his head because no one has ever actually seen rings before.]

These rings that I hold symbolize roundness because no one has ever had square fingers. Rings can be powerful. They can activate the Wonder Twins or grant wishes if inhabited by a genie. Both of these rings seem to be void of any supernatural presence, but they will give you a tan line so that strippers know to give you a fake cell number.

Spouse A, place the ring on Spouse B’s hand and repeat after me:

With this ring
I summon the power of the ancients
that they may bestow upon you
enough cash to pay for the honeymoon.

Spouse B, place the ring on Spouse A’s hand and repeat after me:

With this ring
I call upon the powers of the cosmos
that they may instill upon you
the knowledge to always know when to duck.

That’s it, you’re legally stuck with each other. By the power invested in me by the Church of the Latter-Day Dude and the state of abject horror, I now pronounce you married with all the rights, benefits, and depositions due you. What this Dude has joined together, let no jackass try to split.

Feel free to make out now.

See? Nice, easy, and a hell of a lot shorter than my first wedding. We are more than happy to provide this non-traditional wedding service to all our friends. All we ask is that you give us plenty of time to work out the details. Some states have some really strange laws that require a fair amount of hoop jumping.

You know, you’re not entitled to a copy of your partner’s death certificate if you’re not married. As stupid as that is, there are a number of reasons why you might want to have a non-traditional wedding. Sure, there’s that whole love thing, but even if you just barely tolerate each other you might want to consider giving it a go. Who knows what manner of horrors await us after this next election. You might as well flee the country together, married, just to be safe.

Book your 2017 wedding with us now. You’ll have a whole year to talk yourself out of it. Deposits non-refundable.

Current Issues / PotD

Everyday Patriotism

May 30, 2016

I saw courage both in the Vietnam War and in the struggle to stop it. I learned that patriotism includes protest, not just military service. —John F. Kerry

Patriotism cannot be something limited to a few special days of the year

Budweiser is changing its name to America (though I’ve yet to see any of the new cans in stores). Coca-Cola is adopting new red, white, and blue cans. Americans never want to be accused of not being patriotic. We take our patriotism seriously, which is why we have days like Memorial Day. We are ingrained from our earliest points of education to appreciate the sacrifices others have made to give us the freedoms we have, even though we abuse those freedoms far too regularly.

Patriotism in the United States isn’t all that different from patriotism in other countries. Nationalism has been a thing around the globe since the mid-19th century. People everywhere wear clothing with representations of their country’s flag on it. Clothes coming from Milan proudly bear the Made in Italy label, and that label actually stands for something. The French are proud not only of their champagne, but their language and its contribution to the global vocabulary. When a Brazillian driver takes the lead at the Indianapolis 500, big green and yellow flags suddenly appear in the infield in a display of nationalistic pride and camaraderie.

Patriotism in the United States, though, may be louder than it is anywhere else. Not only do we find ways to include the red, white, and blue in almost everything, we include patriotic moments in almost all our events, from the singing of the national anthem to color guards and military fly-overs (which are damned impressive). We sing, “God Bless the USA,” and “God Bless America,” with fervor. We respect our troops (most of the time) and thank them for serving. And on special days like Memorial Day, we go out of our way to make sure our patriotism is on display.

Yet, real patriotism is not a sometimes thing. Patriotism doesn’t wait for a holiday or a special event. Patriotism doesn’t require special bunting or a red, white, and blue dress code. Patriotism doesn’t require fireworks or that one even own an American flag. Loving our country is more of an everyday thing, discernable in everyday actions, the way we speak, and the things we do. Being an American is more than celebrating a holiday.

Being in American is being a neighbor and caring for the people around you.

Being a patriot is understanding that we are not just one idea or concept, but a melting pot of many ideas and cultures and concepts, and celebrating those differences.

Patriotism is paying attention to and participating in the political system, not because it works the way we want, but because it fails completely if we don’t.

Being American means standing up to bullies; not only on a national front, but individually against bigots and xenophobes who would harm our fellow citizens.

Patriots understand that just because one has the right to do something does not always make the exhibition of that right appropriate, kind, or just.

Patriotism is standing up and being loud in the face of sexism, gender inequality, homophobia, social inequality, racism, body shaming, and any attempt to put down a fellow American.

Real Americans recognize that our country is far from perfect, that we’ve made some pretty egregious errors in the past, but are committed to not letting those mistakes happen again.

Real patriots don’t allow their elected officials to do nothing, to take more days off then they work, and still retain office.

Patriotism is understanding the power of volunteering, for military service, to support those who serve, to support those who have served, to care for those who return from service with impairments, to assist the families of those who serve, and to make sure no one is left behind even when they can no longer wear a uniform.

Americans do their best to make sure those who serve are not embarrassed by the country they represent, for it is our own actions more than their own that cause them disrespect.

Patriots vote without making excuses.

Patriotism is giving a shit even when everything around you seems to be going to hell in a handbasket.

We’ll see a lot of red, white, and blue today. We’ll see flags waving and numerous displays of nationalistic pride. But as we celebrate, may we never forget those who sacrificed in battle, those who continue to suffer after returning home, and those who fight, yell, scream, and argue to make sure the number of people who need to make that sacrifice grows smaller every year.

Patriotism is not a once-in-a-while thing. Patriotism is every day.

Just For Fun / Photography

Outside the Indianapolis 500

May 29, 2016

The Indianapolis 500 is a party that starts long before anyone gets to the actual race.

charles i. letbetter - outside the Indianapolis 500

Veteran race-goers know: reserve your parking space in advance, come early, and bring plenty of food.

Today is the 100th running of the greatest spectacle in motorsports: the Indianapolis 500 and we’re right smack in the middle of it. Actually, we’re not in the middle of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, we’re just outside. If you’re familiar with IMS, you know there’s a 40-acre parking lot on the North side of the track: the North 40. Half-way up that lot, on the East side, is a gate. We are across the street from that gate.

Parking cars on the lawns in our neighborhood is a long-standing tradition. People who have been attending the Indianapolis 500 for years have strong relationships with homeowners around here and like to park in the same places each year. They have our phone numbers and call sometimes several weeks in advance to make sure that they can secure their favorite spot on our lawn. This year, demand has been especially high. It is just after 9:00 AM as I’m typing this and already every available space on our lawn is either full or reserved. The same holds true for most our neighbors.

Of course, when people get here this far ahead of the race, which isn’t scheduled to start this year until 12:19 PM, one looks for ways to pass the time. Many tailgate. Some reserve extra space so they can sit and chat with friends and family. Some play games. There is always plenty of activity outside the gates right up until roughly 30 minutes before the Indianapolis 500 gets underway.

All that activity makes for great people watching any year, but this year it is especially entertaining. So, we’re taking a few pictures during the day and posting them a few at a time. Understand, we don’t actually know any of these people. If you see someone you recognize and they were supposed to be somewhere else today, that’s not our fault.

The Indianapolis 500 is a unique race simply because of its size and spectacle. We can’t go in but we can show you all the fun happening outside.

Before The Race:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

AFTER THE RACE

Once the race is over, the rush is on to get to the car and get out as quickly as possible. Of course, “quickly” is a subjective term. Some do best to take their time and let the alcohol burn off a bit. Some have difficulty finding their party while others are pretty sure they are the party. Any way you look at it, though, the effects of being out in the sun are evident on everyone who passed. As you’re looking through the photos, be sure to check the faces in the background as well. Sometimes those we didn’t focus on were more entertaining. We avoided the worst, though. There were a few who, while they would have been easy prey for the camera, were so drunk and/or dehydrated that taking their picture would have been a bit cruel. I’m sure they’re suffering enough this morning without waking up and finding their drunken selves on the Internet. We also tossed in a few pictures of some of the mess people leave behind. The Coke lot always gets trashed the worse, but I didn’t want to walk all the way down there.

Again, if you see someone you know, tag them and let them know you found them being silly, or angry, or shoving a whole water bottle in their mouth (not kidding, it’s in there). It was an exciting race with a lot of interesting people.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Just For Fun / PotD

Cooling Off Periods

May 28, 2016

The accepted definition of a serial killer is a person who kills at least three times with a cooling off period in between his murders. —Pat Brown

charles i. letbetter - cooling off period

If the summer is going to be as hot as forecast, we need to plan some cooling off periods

Climatologists and meteorologists have been warning us since April that 2016 is going to be the warmest year ever. There were a few days earlier this month when I would have challenged that forecast. We went through roughly a week where we had to fight with the kids to get them to wear coats on their way to the bus stop of the morning.

“But, it’s summer,” they would complain.

“But it’s 38 degrees,” we would respond.

That blip was apparently just a cooling off period, though. This summer may be a serial killer in the same sense as 2012 with daily temps over 100 and prolonged periods with no rain. We’re going to need some cooling off periods and we may have to create them ourselves.

No one should be sweating at 4:30 in the morning, but I was today. I took the dog out for our normal walk at 4:00 and by the time we returned my back was damp. Mind you, we don’t run, though the pup probably wouldn’t mind. We take a slow, casual stroll around the block to give him a chance to do his business while I think about what I’m going to write when we return. There’s usually a light breeze and the quiet solitude of being the only one on the street except for the paper boy (yeah, we still have one of those, but he drives a minivan now with one front blinker out). This morning had a breeze and was blissfully quiet (except for the helicopter making a quick pass over the speedway), but it was 74 degrees and humid as hell, if hell has humidity issues. Belvedere took straight to his water bowl upon returning while I took straight to the coffee pot. Cooling off is different for each of us. I am worried, though, to need a break so early in the morning isn’t a good sign.

Being hot on Memorial Day weekend isn’t that unusual, of course. In fact, the Indianapolis 500 isn’t the same experience without the sun bearing down into the snake pit, making sure everyone wakes up the next morning both hung over and sunburned. Race fans think cooling off is something one finds in a can of beer (bottles are not allowed), even though all they’re doing is dehydrating, which makes the hangover worse. Not having grown up here and not being a huge fan of watching cars go in circles, I have difficulty understanding the attraction to such inherent misery but, for many people, it’s a tradition they wouldn’t dream of missing no matter how hot it might get.

The rest of the summer is the greater challenge, though. Mother Nature can become a serial killer in July and August most any year. If we look back at 2012, the severe heat started in June and that seems to be the way things are shaping up for this year. Will she give us any cooling off periods? Better to not count on it. I think the more prudent move is to plan our own cooling off activities. Here are some of the considerations we’re entertaining at the moment:

Adult party in the kiddie pool. Our next door neighbor has a really nice above ground pool with a great deck and everything. He has regular parties over there (including one tonight) that are always fun and a bit rambunctious. The challenge is that pool takes a lot of his time to keep clean and at a temperature that doesn’t induce hypothermia. I don’t have that kind of time or energy. Instead, we have a kiddie pool. The little ones love it, but I’m thinking it can be great for cooling off our adult friends as well and we’re less likely to need a lifeguard. We can sit along the perimeter with our bare feet in the water while enjoying ice-cold adult beverages. Add some cool, fresh fruit and hors d’oeuvres and we’re set.
Naked mud photoshoot. We’ve not done one in a while. The pictures above were taken in 2010 and I don’t think I’ve done anything in the mud since. Two of the three young women have moved away, so we have opportunities here for new people to participate. Actually, this particular shoot was in April and turned off colder than we expected, especially when it came time to clean up. Rolling around in the mud is great for your skin and is very cooling for your body (which is why pigs like the mud as well). The pictures are always fun, sexy, and make all your friends jealous (not kidding).
Cook dinner on the grill. Air conditioners have to work hard enough during summers like this without adding to the challenge by heating up the whole house just to prepare a meal. Almost all your favorite foods can be prepared on the grill if you are willing to take a bit of time. Grilling is a great summertime tradition, anyway, so why not experiment with more than just hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken, and ribs? I’m planning on grilling brats and a beef roast tomorrow and am considering possibly grilling a lamb roast within the next week or two. The flavors are great, the heat stays outside, and everyone loves the food.
Explore new places to eat. Summer is, in my opinion, the best time to try new and different dining experiences. Food is more likely to be fresh and their attention to creating a pleasing environment usually means it won’t be too warm, even if the experience is al fresco. The menus also tend to reflect dishes more appropriate for summer: lighter cuts of meat, fewer heavy sauces, and plenty of fresh herbs. We tend to look for restaurants within easy walking distance of other activities good for cooling off, such as visiting a bookstore, art galleries, or live music. Sometimes we can even get lucky and find it all in one place!
Camping. The logic here is elementary: cities hold heat. A great way of cooling off, both physically and emotionally, is to “get the hell out of Dodge,” so to speak and go camping. Indiana is blessed with some really incredible state parks, most of which have cooling canyons and ravines and water that is appropriate for either swimming, wading, or boating. Tall, old trees provide plenty of shade and a gentle breeze, the kids have plenty of opportunities to explore, and if you plan well you might just find yourself relaxing a little bit. Granted, there are a number of uncontrollable variables with this option, and a good trip can go South in a hurry through no one’s fault. Still, the benefits outweigh the risks in most cases.

There’s nothing I can do about how hot this summer might be. Mother Nature doesn’t pay any attention when I gripe, so it’s just easier to find cooling off options that work regardless of the weather. We’ll survive this hottest year, you and me, and we may even have some fun in the process. We just need plenty of cooling off periods.

Advertising / Current Issues

NRA Ad Is Insulting To U.S. Military

May 27, 2016

charles i. letbetter - NRA ad insults the US military

No other country in the world does what we do. On every issue, the world turns to us, not simply because of the size of our economy or our military might – but because of the ideals we stand for, and the burdens we bear to advance them. —Barack Obama

charles i. letbetter - NRA Ad Insults US Military

If you want to see the real strength of America, look no further than the US Military

[Caveat: While I was not able to serve myself, both my fiancé, Kat, and my middle son, Ben, are US Marines. My Uncle Joe was US Air Force and saw active duty over Korea. We have great admiration and respect for the military and all those who volunteer to serve. Therefore, there is some chance that my opinion on the topic below is a bit biased. Maybe. I doubt it.]

Advertising can get really, really strange and quirky. One of the stranger events this week was when the city of South Bend, Indiana had to apologize for stealing, almost in whole, Salt Lake City’s tourism campaign. I can’t remember the last time we saw such blatant theft of an entire campaign. Of course, the agency responsible tried saying it was an homage to the Salt Lake campaign, but no one with a brain in their head is buying that excuse. When ad agencies get something wrong, the results can really be deplorable.

We tend to give advertisers a lot of leeway when it comes to what they say and do in their ads. Advertising is, to a great extent, a form of free expression. While there are limits on certain products that have been deemed potentially harmful to public health, such as tobacco and prescription medicines, most ads have more than sufficient space to creatively represent their product without falling into the trap of false advertising.

During election years, however, we see a form of advertising that is special and rather exempt from some of the restrictions we put on normal advertising. Political ads aren’t selling a product, but rather an idea or concept. Therefore, they can legally say just about anything they want and get away with it. We may not like what they say, but one of the strengths of our Constitution is that they are guaranteed the right to say what they please. Even if it is totally wrong and insulting.

Such is the case with the most recent ad for the National Rifle Association (NRA), fronted by country music legend Charlie Daniels. I’m not embedding the video on purpose. This is a political ad and, in tune with the tenor of this entire political season, the number of lies and misinformation is substantial. That, however, is not the ad’s worst crime. Those are simply opinions, and Mr. Daniels has the right to express them.

Where the ad errs is in the way it insults our United States Military and the patriotism of the men and women who serve. The copy, which is erroneously directed at “the Ayatollah’s of Iran,” wants to do two things: paint President Obama as weak, and make America sound tough. Daniel’s presentation almost sounds like a bully’s challenge: you come over here and we’re going to whip your ass. What’s insulting, though, is when he says, “… you haven’t met America.” He then goes on to tout the toughness of steel workers, “hard rock” miners, or “swamp folks” as though they are some vicious breed of monster capable of defeating all comers.

Excuse me? First of all, let’s talk to the correct people: Daesh, Al Queda, and the Taliban. Those are the people responsible for much of the terror you see on the evening news. And I’ve got news for you, Charlie, they’ve already met America.

Terrorists meet America every time an M16 bullet passes through their skull and leaves their brains splattered on the ground.

Terrorists meet America every time a squadron of planes launches from the deck of a US aircraft carrier.

Terrorists meet America every time a group of Marines sweep into a known terrorist compound and reduce the place to rubble.

Terrorists meet America every time a US drone strike takes out yet another one of their leaders, as we’ve done repeatedly over the past eight years.

Terrorists meet America every time a US Navy Seal time sneaks up from behind and slits their throats.

We’ve been at war with terror nearly 15 years now. Terrorists have had ample opportunities to meet America and the ground shakes beneath them every time they do.

You want to know why you don’t see acts of terror in the US on the scale we do in the Middle East and Europe? Because terrorists can’t get past the men and women of the United States Military. There’s a reason the rest of the world looks to us when bad things happen. Our Marines can move into a position and take total and complete control of an area faster, better, and with fewer casualties than anyone else in the world. Our military intelligence isn’t always perfect, but it’s better than what anyone else has to offer. The soldiers we have deployed on the ground around the world are better trained, better equipped, and badder, tougher, and meaner than anyone else out there.

Our United States military and National Security Administration are the reason you can go to a concert in the United States and not worry about terrorists getting through the gate. They are the reason you can attend a sporting event without thinking twice that someone might try to bomb the stadium. They are the reason over 300,000 people can attend a race in Indianapolis this weekend and know they are safe.

When the NRA ad implies that steel workers, miners, and “swamp folk” can somehow protect our country better, they’re not only insulting the men and women of our military, they’re demonstrating an unprecedented amount of ignorance. You think steel workers are tough? Put them through a military boot camp and see how many survive. You think “hard rock” miners are strong? Let’s see how many can handle the Navy’s basic training. And I’m not sure exactly who these “swamp folk” are, but let’s put them through the Crucible at MCRD Parris Island and see how many of them are crying for their Momma half-way through.

You want to see the strength of America? Just look at our United States Military. Every man and woman who takes the oath and puts on one of those uniforms represent our best. They are our best. They are trained tough, ready for the most impossible situations in the world under unimaginable conditions, and they’re good to go at a moment’s notice. There are no steel workers, hard rock miners or swamp folk or anyone else who can stand up to the United States Military. No one.

Being strong and being prepared is more than just having physical muscle; it’s having the training to know which weapon to use under which conditions and knowing how to use the weapon properly; it’s knowing how to engage an enemy with as few civilian casualties as possible; it’s knowing how to work as a team, everyone doing their job together, and no one ever being left behind; it’s having the mental strength to endure torture if captured and still find a way to survive and escape.

The NRA ad is nothing but hot air and tough talk from a bunch of old white men who are scared. Let’s see, who would I rather have protecting me, a 79-year-old fiddle player with a big mouth, or a US Marine who earned his/her Eagle, Globe, and Anchor in the mud and sand of Parris Island? I’ll take the Marine every damn time. And who’s the better American? The orange-skinned, draft-dodging politician who yells and blathers and incites hatred from behind a podium, or the soldier who right now is holding point on a terrorist cell, waiting for the order to move in? You know who the better American is.

Don’t tell me terrorists around the world haven’t met America yet. They know damn good and well who we are and they live in fear of what our military can do to them. Maybe it’s about time the folks at the NRA figured that out as well. Our US Military doesn’t wait for terrorists to come to us. We go to them and the terrorists die. Remember that this Memorial Day.

Fashion / Photography / PotD

Film Returns To Fashion

May 27, 2016

What you have caught on film is captured forever… it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything. —Aaron Siskind

While camera makers talk about breaking the 100-megapixel threshold, fashion editors are turning to film for their editorials

Film photography is wonderful, and in many ways, I still prefer it to digital. There is an artistry to using a film camera that is lost with a digital box that does most the thinking for you. Clients have to trust their photographer more, a lot more, and the photographer’s own talent and skill set actually matter. Working with film requires a bit more imagination, a bit more creativity, and a lot more precision. I love it.

So, you’d think that when Business of Fashion publishes an article headlined, “Fashion Photographers Return To Film,” I would be thrilled, right? Get out the old analog cameras, drop some Kodak TMax in the back, and let’s get rolling, right?

Hold on, not so fast. There are some issues here before we all dump our digitals. As enticing as the article makes film photography sound, and it does do such a good job of highlighting the positive aspects of using film, We have to consider whether this trend is sustainable and, beyond that, whether or not it even makes good sense. Let’s take a look at the issues the article doesn’t mention.

The article highlights the work of four very talented but nonetheless young photographers. This looks like fashion photography’s hipster movement and, like everything else hipster, just because the elements are “retro,” doesn’t mean we “old folks,” you know, the ones with all the experience in film are invited to participate. Nevermind that we begrudgingly made the switch to digital some twelve or so years ago. This is a youth-focused retro moment and just because we old guys can do film better doesn’t mean anyone is going to pay attention.
The retro styling of film photography matches the retro movement within the fashion industry itself. Void of any serious creativity for the past several seasons, fashion has gotten stuck looking back, especially at the late 1960s and 70s stylings. The film look works for those fashion lines because it matches the clothing lines. Should fashion ever decide to snap itself out of this ridiculous trend and actually do something creative, that film look isn’t likely to be as appropriate.
The support system is no longer present. When photographers made the switch to digital, and we all did it pretty much within the span of three to five years, we killed off a lot of people’s jobs. Prepress shops are virtually extinct now. There are still a handful of color houses running around the country, but the dramatic decrease in volume has forced them to severely increase their prices. No one even makes black-and-white paper anymore and the film options themselves have severely diminished. 20 years ago, AGFA and Kodak were invested heavily in imagesetters, but neither company even sells those behemoths now (though you can still pick up used devices if you’re really desperate). While I suppose that support system could be revitalized if everyone started using film again, there’s no indication that’s about to happen.
Even if one shoots on film, magazine layout is still digital. Again, the extinction of prepress shops is critical here. Everyone uses digital layout methods now and going back to analog just to accommodate a photography style doesn’t make sense. That means, even if the image is shot on film, it still has to be scanned and digitized and is likely to be photoshopped. That means the images being used are no more “pure” than those shot with a Canon EOS 5D. Bodies can still be reshaped, colors can still be manipulated, errors can still be fixed. So, what’s the point in using film, again?
The photography industry, as a whole, no longer supports film for general professional use. Canon has been showing off a 120-megapixel prototype that could, allegedly, be on the market later this year. Hasselblad’s H6d also offers a 100-megapixel option in full-frame medium format. Meanwhile, Sony continues pushing mirrorless options that grow increasingly sharper with each new update. Even the quality of cell phone cameras is growing rapidly. The photography industry is done with film and has moved on. I don’t see it backtracking. Ever.

I gotta admit, though, the lure of going back to film sure as hell sounds enticing, doesn’t it? To hear that click/whir of an auto film advance, the ability to get really creative and do multiple exposures on camera, trading backs from polaroid to TMax, and just the way a good, solid film box feels in your hand are all pieces of photographic nostalgia that I sometimes miss.

But without prepress and color shops, we’d all have to do our own processing. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t have room to safely set up a dark room anymore. Even if I did, do I really want those highly-flammable chemicals in my house? Yeah, I know we didn’t give it a second thought 30 years ago, but once we came out from under the influence of those fumes we started seeing just how dangerous an improperly ventilated dark room could be. Then, there are the costs. Products more difficult to find, there aren’t as many options, paper is horribly expensive, and you still have to pay for a high-end drum scan to have the image digitized at sufficient quality. My estimates are a final price tag of about $150 per 8″x10″ image! I don’t know about anyone else, but that’s well outside my budget!

I love the idea of using film for fashion shoots; it certainly fits a number of different styles currently on the market. I fear it’s little more than a pseudo-hipster, anti-establishment, anti-capitalistic trend, though, and like all trends, this will pass. The world is digital now. The world relies on digital imagery and the information a picture can carry in its data packets. As much as we love film, we’re not going back.

Sob.

Current Issues / PotD

One Giant Party

May 26, 2016

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. —Ron White

The 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 is cause to party, but there are some rules

This is no ordinary race week. This is no ordinary race. The 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 brings more people to Indianapolis than any other event, ever, and in many places across town, the party has already started! Whether you’re at the Coke Lot or one of the events at Pan Am Plaza downtown, or right here in our backyard at the North 40, everyone has one primary goal: To have a good time.

Unfortunately, there are always some people who go a bit too far. I woke this morning to a headline reading, “Man Shot Several Times At Speedway Strip Club.” That’s not the kind of partying anyone needs. Last year, some brilliant jackass thought it would be cool to burn down a whole line of portable toilets in the Coke Lot. That’s exactly the kind of nonsense that ruins the event for everyone. If you’re going to party, ya’ gotta follow the rules.

The party starts well before the race, of course. We’re expecting a larger-than-ever turnout for Carb Day tomorrow. The big draw is the Journey concert at 3:30 PM and I’m expecting to be able to take the dog out, sit in the yard, and hear the whole thing just fine. Fellow-Okie Blake Shelton is here Saturday afternoon, and we’ll probably have a decent turnout for that as well. Then, for better or worse, there’s Saturday night at the Coke Lot. One the party starts, it doesn’t stop until well after Sunday’s race is over.

Before you head our direction, though, there are some things you should know, even if you’ve been here every year for your entire life. The Indianapolis Motor Speedway (IMS) has updated their policies as to what will and will not be allowed through the gate. IMS also announced yesterday that there will be more security at this race than ever before. Those of us who live in the neighborhood are very happy to know that federal agencies are lending a hand in keeping everyone safe. With some 300,000-plus people on hand, the race is a prime target for those desperate for attention.

Some of the things you can expect to be different this year are:

An increase in security checkpoints, especially the day of the race.
An increase in the use of special K-9 units. You’re not sneaking anything past these dogs. We suggest you not try.
More vehicle searches as you’re entering the grounds. Anything suspicious will be considered reasonable cause.
ESG Security is searching bags and coolers, not IMS Yellow Shirts. Yellow Shirts are being utilized to help people get where they’re going more efficiently.
IMPD is scanning vehicle license plates as they enter the grounds. They say they’re looking for stolen vehicles, but we suspect there’s more to it than that.

If you’re just coming in for one of the concerts, there are some special rules you should probably know as well:

No selfie sticks
No drones
No stickers (not kidding!)
No professional cameras (another reason for me to stay home)
No lasers

This size of the crowd this year likely means that the party is going to be larger than ever in the neighborhoods surrounding IMS as well. As Kat was coming home yesterday she noticed that prices for lawn parking are higher this year for those North of 30th street. I’m sure she’ll be talking with our neighbors about raising our pricing as well. I know we’re limiting the amount of lawn we give to parking this year.

Thousands of party people park in our neighborhood for these events and enter through the East gate of the North 40, directly across the street from our house. We don’t mind too terribly much, partly because you’re paying for the privilege. Still, if you’re going to park off-site and walk into IMS, there are some additional things you should know:

Traffic is going to suck worse than ever. Everything is sold out for Sunday, which means somewhere around 150,000 more people trying to get in than last year. Georgetown, Lafayette, and 30th street are going to be a nightmare starting around 3:00 AM. Plan accordingly.
No one in the neighborhood really likes being awakened at 3 AM, even if you’re giving us money. Please, keep the noise down at least until the sun is up.
SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Every year, we see too many redneck sons of bitches who apparently think they can secure a last-minute driving spot by showing how fast they can maneuver residential streets. Don’t be that jackass. Someone’s likely to get hurt.
Watch out for children. One of the great things about our neighborhood is that we’ve seen an influx of families with children over the past 12 months. There are little ones running all over the place, which is very different from previous years. Many of them are small enough to not be seen easily and when things get hectic, as race day always does, keeping an eye on everyone is challenging. Keep an eye out, please.
Speaking of children, please be careful about what you feed them. The guests we have parking in our yard are always generous about sharing their food with our children who are always hungry. I’m sure others are the same. However, as their parents, we would be most appreciative if you didn’t give them whole bags of Hostess donuts and other such sugar-filled treats. Our children aren’t accustomed to that much processed sugar and it makes them rather crazy. Get them hopped up and we may well send them with you.
Don’t ask to use our restroom. You’re welcome to our lawn, not inside our houses. Some of our neighbors have rented portable toilets for the event for your use, including some right outside the East gate. Bring ones, though. Those potties aren’t free.
Watch where you park. Certain sides of the street are off limits (there are signs). The right-of-way between the sidewalk and the street is also off limits. Park there and you WILL be towed. We have a neighborhood busybody (not me this time) who is quick to call police when she sees a parking infraction. You don’t want to have to walk home.
Exit quickly. We’re pretty much trapped here all weekend. We know that and have prepared accordingly. However, by Sunday evening, we have cabin fever and need to get out, if for no other reason than to buy more toilet paper. We can’t do that until everyone’s gone. Please, don’t lag or dilly-daddle. IMPD does their best to get everyone on their way and out of the neighborhood within two hours after the race. Don’t be that straggler whose vehicle is still on our lawn at 9PM Sunday night.

I know that’s a lot to take in, but if we’re all going to party together there have to be some ground rules. We don’t want anyone getting hurt or running afoul of the law. Have a good time, enjoy the concerts and the race, and if you’re going through the East gate of the North 40, drop by and say hi!

Party on, Garth!

PotD / Status

Frustrating Frustrations

May 25, 2016

Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. —Martin Luther King, Jr.

charles i. letbetter - frustrating frustrations

I’m not one prone to endure frustrating situations in silence. If there’s a problem, people need to know.

Starting the day in a bad mood is rarely a good thing. Typically, when that happens it is the result of a bad dream and I can shake it, to some degree, by the time everyone else is awake. This morning, though, Kat and I were greeted by a frustrating situation before either of us were really ready to get up. Walking the dog helped tamp down my temper, but even that was frustrating as this nosey hound dog flushed a cat from its hiding spot and attempted to take off after it, nearly jerking his leash from my hand. Coffee helped, but I’m feeling a bit frustrated by that now as I look over and my cup is almost empty. I’ll have to stop and make more.

Much of what I find frustrating is beyond my control. Weather, for example. The forecast for each of the next five days holds some chance of rain and/or thunderstorms. We both know it won’t actually rain all those days, but as long as the barometric pressure remains below 30.12 In. I’m stuck trying to pretend that every joint in my body doesn’t hurt when I move. Not a damn thing I can do, legally, short of moving to Colorado. Even that doesn’t solve the problem but makes it more bearable.

I’m frustrated by my own errors. I sit here typing and there are too many times when my fingers and my mind are not in agreement as to exactly which version of they’re/there/their should be used or how a word is spelled. Such errors are frustrating because my head knows the correct usage and spelling. Somehow, though, the wrong synapses fire and my fingers get the wrong message and as I look back over a sentence I’ve just typed I find ridiculous errors that only a child should make. I expect better of myself. Of course, then I read an article from a major news outlet and find similar mistakes and don’t feel quite so bad.

Politics are frustrating. Continuously. This morning, it is the protests outside a political rally last night in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I’m frustrated not only because the two presumptive nominees are both total pieces of crap who will do our country significant harm, but because I fear the protests may lead to something worse. The situation is not aided by the fact that already disenfranchised people are being further disenfranchised by the candidates. Every time one of the candidates speak, people are given a reason to hate them all that much more. The system isn’t working and that’s frustrating.

Global unrest is beyond frustrating and, again, not a damn thing I can do about it. Talking with my son stationed in Okinawa brings frightening clarity to news reports of China conducting extended naval drills in the South China Sea. These are more than the standard defense preparedness drills in which every military organization participates. Such drills imply that more aggressive actions are being considered, if not planned. Add that to all the absolute nonsense in the Middle East and frustration is just the tip of the emotional iceberg.

The fact that it’s #NationalWineDay and I’m totally out of anything good is very frustrating. By “anything good” I mean anything that costs more than $5 a bottle. I’m not especially picky, though I do have an abundance of fruit that needs to be eaten so something white is probably a good choice. Of course, the closest liquor store doesn’t carry much wine. This is more of a beer neighborhood. That would be yet another point of frustration.

You should be getting the picture by now that there are plenty of frustrating things in my world, and I’m pretty sure there are plenty of frustrating things in your world. I could easily continue. Fencing we ordered has yet to arrive. Meetings that needed to be scheduled before the kids get out of school for the summer haven’t been. We don’t know what we’re doing with the kids all summer and we don’t have money for endless camps. The little brat across the street keeps stealing the Tipster’s tricycle from under the carport. And on and on and on.

Dealing with so much frustration could be fatal. My blood pressure is already high and not being sure what I’m doing for dinner tonight doesn’t help. I could have a heart attack or a stroke if I can’t find a set of pictures that I need. So, what do we do to combat these frustrations? Here’s my plan:

More coffee. We’re on our second pot this morning. I anticipate at least two more before Kat leaves for school. It’s just one of those days. Coffee keeps me from throwing things.
Nap with the dog. He’s a good hound dog who likes to sleep right on top of me. He has a good sense for knowing exactly when to lick my face.
Keep food easy. No elaborate preparations for anything today. At the moment, I’m favoring some form of salad for dinner. The kids love salad.
Avoid answering any messages that I already know are going to be upsetting. They are not critical to anyone’s life or death, so they will wait until I can respond without ripping someone’s head off their shoulders.
Stay the fuck off Facebook. I’m fortunate in that I can post to my page there without having to actually be on Facebook. What I see in my newsfeed too often makes me prone to acts of violence, such as slapping some sense into someone’s head. I don’t need that kind of trouble, so we’ll just stay away.
Smooches. Lots and lots of smooches, even if they have to be digital. Something tells me Kat’s guests wouldn’t especially like it if I walked onto the floor and starting smooching her up while she’s trying to color someone’s hair. So, we’ll keep our smooches digital. That is better than nothing.
Chocolate. We keep a stash hidden just for days like this.

The one other thing that could help isn’t immediately available: shooting a new set of nudes. I didn’t have the foresight to schedule anyone. If you’re reading this and want to volunteer, you know how to contact me. Just do it before Belvedere and I take our nap. We both get frustrated when someone interrupts our nap . One of us is likely to bite. Not saying which one.

We’ll get past this frustrating day. We almost always do. Just don’t do anything stupid and we should be fine.

Mythology / Social Commentary

Religions Against Progress

May 24, 2016

charlesi. letbetter - religion against progress

Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex. —Karl Marx

charles i. letbetter - religions against progress

Religions that attempt to control sexuality slow the progress of that society

Religion is bad for society. At least, that’s the correlation one finds when comparing the level of sexual oppression to the amount of control a religion, any of them, has on government. Where there is over-abundant religious control there is no sexual freedom and where there is no sexual freedom society, as a whole, takes a giant step backwards.

A lot of people have control issues, and a lot of those people try to hide their control issues by encoding them in a set of rules. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that major religions, which have more rules than any other organizations, might be full of control freaks. What’s especially bad about that, though, is in their attempt to maintain control, they are inhibiting the grown and progress of the societies of which they are a part.

I’m not going to bother linking to any of the three different stories I saw yesterday regarding some pastor or church leader being caught in a sex sting (two with underage children). At this point, we’ve seen those headline so many times I’m rather surprised that confidence in the clergy is holding together at all. While I know many pastors are genuinely good people, we are seeing headlines such as these almost every day now. For me, that’s a little unsettling and I question why it’s not that way for more people.

Then, there was this article in Sunday’s Daily Beast describing how Muslim women are mistreated if they dare show their hair. Specifically, there has been a crackdown on Instagram models from Iran who posted pictures with their hair uncovered. As repressive as Christianity can be, Islam can be even worse and the consequences can be severe, all as a means of control.

Hindu women are not much better off as 85% identify with a caste system in which women are not only subject to beating and abuse by the male members of the family, but are restricted by the constructs of the caste system with rules seeking better opportunities for themselves. Women are taught at an early age to not ask questions, to not expect better, and to obey their husbands.

While sexual oppression is common across all three of the world’s major religions, we have to realize that sexuality isn’t the problem. The problem is a desire for abject control and sexuality is the tool religions use for exerting that control. They tell you when sex is right (within very strict guidelines established by the church for the specific purpose of retaining its dominance) and when sex is wrong (which is anything the religious leaders can’t control). They define who can and who can’t have sex and then enforce those rules with laws that are cruel and often violent.

But the rules and laws against sexuality have nothing to do with devotion to a deity or set of deities. Sexual oppression, just like rape, is about control and patriarchal religions are not anxious to give that up, even when they know what they’re doing is wrong. Male theocrats across all three religions are the loudest voices in opposition of sexual openness and liberations. You can see it in the likes of Texas Senator and former presidential candidate Ted Cruz. You can see it in the election of Ahmad Jannati to Iran’s Assembly of Experts. You can see it in just how close far right-wing candidate Norbert Hofer came to winning Austria’s presidential elections this week. You can see it in the political actions of India’s ultra-conservative Prime Minister Narendra Modi. All are looking for religious control and all are, to one degree or another, using sexual oppression as a means of getting it.

Increasingly, sexual freedom has become a sort of litmus test for whether a society is open and progressive or closed and regressive. To the extent that the most conservative elements of any religion have any voice or say in a government, the more closed and restrictive that society is likely to be and open displays of sexuality are punished. The more secular a government, the more open and sexually liberated is the society likely to be, which also correlates in social progressiveness in other areas.

This leaves us with the logical conclusion that religion, in its desire for complete control, is against any form of progress that might allow people, women especially, to be in control of their own bodies, their own thoughts, and their own actions. If we are to move forward, we must take more of a hard line against religion in government. Interestingly enough, the very first amendment of the United States Constitution addresses that need.

So, how does sexuality relate to a progressive society? Because where we are open to exploring the advancement of sexuality, we are also open to exploring the advancement of other things, such as food, art and creativity, literature, human development, intellectual disabilities, and a host of other areas. Our attitudes toward sexuality impact almost every other aspect of our lives. Progress does not come in just one area on its own, but as awareness and openness in one dimension of our lives impacts others and pushes us toward the improvement of those conditions. Interestingly enough, though, progress in all those areas comes without acknowledgement of or any connection to religion. Religious control in such fields as the arts and sciences would be limiting at best and destructive at its worst.

I know religious moderates will object to such a strong anti-religion stance. “Not all religions are dominating and controlling,” they will say. To some extent they are correct. More moderate to liberal theologies are open to multiple views of sexuality. However, none of those religions are attempting to control the conduct of entire countries, either. Moderate religions don’t even dominate religion. Those on the far right end of the religious spectrum are the ones with the control issues, and, much to the detriment of everyone else, we’ve allowed them to have increasing amounts of control to the point they use that power to deny us the most basic of freedoms.

Note: we’re not picking on any one religion here. Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism are all equally guilty. Together, they are attempting to hold back the progress of two-thirds of the world’s population and they are doing so by attempting to control matters of sexuality.

The struggle against religious control is not one of just LGBT rights, or feminism, or reproductive rights, or anything else affected by the control religions attempt to exert over society. The struggle against religious control is a fight for humanity, a fight for progress, and a fight for reason. We should be alarmed. We should be vocal. And as much as anything, we should support sexual freedom and exploration in every culture and civilization around the world.

pop culture / PotD

Not A Food Fanatic In A City That Is

May 24, 2016

You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food. —Paul Prudhomme

Condé Nast Traveler says Indianapolis is “the most underrated food city in the US.” That’s nice, unless you’re not really a food fanatic.

[Update: This article went largely unnoticed until late evening, May 24. Apparently, someone posted a link on Facebook. Suddenly, our hit count exploded and currently, May 25, we’re having our highest visitor/hit count ever! Hooray! Apparently, Erin and her dear friends are offended. They (mistakenly) think we’re against good and diverse dining. One person was so incensed, she wants to punch me in the throat. Wow, who knew foodies could be so violent . While we do not apologize for the content, our intent was not to insult or in any way disparage any of the fine establishments mentioned. Condé Nast Traveler didn’t single them out with no reason. One restaurant owner even reached out and invited us to drop by his establishment, an invitation we will do our best to accept. Still, no matter how wonderful all these restaurants are, we are never going to eat out that often and when we do we’re more likely to choose something closer to home, a bit more child appropriate, and less likely to upset my overly-sensitive stomach. If you want to try them, please do. I’m sure you’ll have a pleasant experience. Be sure to leave them a nice review on Yelp! Thank you for visiting!]

One could almost hear the squeals of glee when Condé Nast Traveler updated its 2015 list of Best Places To Visit This Summer and decided to include Indianapolis in the #28 spot, right between Maui, Hawaii, and Camden, Maine. Indy is full of people who love eating out so much that their own kitchens feel neglected as they’re hardly even used for making coffee anymore. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me too much to see at least one of the new sets of condos going up downtown to eliminate stoves and ovens entirely, leaving only a refrigerator for storing doggie bags and a microwave for heating them up. That’s just how fanatical Indy’s food people are.

Food fanatics have cropped up everywhere in the past ten years. When I first moved here, the top-rated restaurant in town was St. Elmo’s. Everyone told me I need to eat there. Then, I saw their menu. No, thank you. I can cook my own steak for considerably less, get it exactly the way I like it, and not have to take out a small loan in the process. I do have a bottle of their cocktail sauce in the ‘fridge. We bought it at Costco. If premiere dining means overspending on everything, then I’ll have no part of it, thank you.

Over the ensuing years, though, a number of chefs have inexplicably chosen Indianapolis as the place to try out their new and innovative menus and, much to my surprise, people in Indy have actually responded favorably. Condé Nast specifically mentions Milktooth, Black Market, Rook, and Marrow but there are at least a dozen other places around town that are every bit as good and just as difficult to get a seat between 6-8 PM. Every one of them stays busy and on the rare occasion one goes out of business it is usually something other than the food that was at fault.

But guess what: I’ve not been to any of them. Not a one. Never mind the fact that the Black Market literally share’s a driveway with Kat’s dad and we’re down there all the time smelling the delicious aromas pouring out their back door. I’m not one to eat out that often and when I do it’s almost certainly to be an old favorite or, at least, someplace where I know that I’m likely to find something I like even if I find the majority of choices detestable.

Not that I never try new places, mind you. Just last week I stepped into Punch for lunch and had a wonderful time. The food was fantastic, the price was reasonable, the service friendly, and the portion on the waffle fries was huge. Punch was a pretty safe bet, though. It is the top-rated downtown burger joint on Yelp, and, obviously, it’s a burger joint. You can do a lot with burgers, but it’s pretty hard to fuck one up to the point it’s inedible. Stopping by Punch was about as adventurous from a food perspective as taking an alternate path home: you know where you’re going, you just go a different direction getting there.

Could I have just as easily eaten at one of those fancy places everyone talks about? Probably. But I am not a food fanatic. I have issues with trying some place new. Serious issues. As much as I enjoy eating, a food fanatic is not something I could ever be. Here’s why:

Nothing’s close. Almost all the hottest places to eat are downtown, Broad Ripple, or Fountain Square, none of which are anywhere close to our home. If I want to grab a nice lunch while everyone else is at school, I have to get on a bus, whose schedule and route isn’t always convenient to where I want to eat. If we’re talking about dinner, we’re talking about where to park as free parking isn’t exactly booming in this or any other city. Most days, that’s just too much trouble. I’ll stay home.
Children. All the cool places on the food lovers’ lists are less than appropriate for the two energetic and sometimes picky six- and seven-year-olds we have. The problem is not that children are forbidden in any of these places, but the menus simply aren’t appropriate. We have difficulty getting them to eat anything other than mac and cheese. Do you really think we’re going to convince them that “smoked tofu, miso eggplant, bok choy, coco rice, hoisin, slow poached egg (Marrow)” is a good thing to try? As much as it costs to eat out, the last thing you want is the kids sitting there picking at expensive food they won’t eat.
Menus that make no sense. One of the things I really dislike is not having some general sense of what I’m eating. If I have to sit at the table and Google items on the menu to see what they are, we have a problem. Consider this description of an “Okonomiyaki Burger” at Rook: duck egg / leeks / caramelized onions / Tulip Tree Foxglove / shoestring potato / foie mayo. I’m still trying to figure out where the hell the burger is in all that. Is it beef? Mixed meat? Vegan? And I’m Googling “Tulip Tree Foxglove” and “foie mayo.” At $17, I kinda want to know what to expect before I put my order in.
Indigestion. I’m old. Stomach problems run in our family. A number of popular restaurants make their name on dishes that are spicy. As much as I may want to try those delightful looking dishes, I don’t dare. I won’t sleep for three days if I do. My stomach simply cannot handle anything too terribly spicy. This condition only gets worse over time, and no, popping an antacid doesn’t help. Who wants to spend money on moderately bland food?
Cost. I’ll admit that a lot of the trendy restaurants are not nearly as expensive as the more traditional steak houses such as St. Elmo’s or Ruth Chris’. Depending on one’s menu and drink choices, one can reasonably eat for less than $20 a person, plus tip. Not bad, really. Unfortunately, the realistic penny-pinching side of me looks at the $50 I might drop on dinner for Kat and me and know that I could buy a week’s worth of groceries for the same amount, and have leftovers (yeah, I’m that good), and manage to get the kids to eat everything on their plates at least five of the seven nights. It’s difficult to enjoy good food when you’re racked with guilt.

I’ve not lived in rural Oklahoma for a very long time, but at the end of the day, I’m still a country boy whose best friend in the kitchen is my cast iron skillet. I don’t need exotic ingredients when I can just pick fresh veggies from the garden. I don’t need a cheese whose name is longer than mine and I damn sure don’t need my asparagus shaved. While I enjoy trying new foods, especially those related to a specific culture, I still want food that doesn’t require a degree in food science to appreciate.

Unless someone else is picking up me and the bill, I’m not likely to ever dine at any of those super cool places Condé Nast Traveler thinks I shouldn’t miss. That’s rather sad. I want to be part of the cool crowd; I just don’t want to take leave of my senses to do so. Not being a food fanatic in a city that is crazy about food rather sucks at times, but hey, I know a great place where the chicken is pan fried, the gravy is from scratch, and the greens have just the right amount of kick; it’s called my kitchen. Just give me a yell before you stop by.

Current Issues / Fashion / Music / PotD

Shoveling Through Another Monday

May 23, 2016

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. —Phyllis Diller

When you’ve had such a good weekend, why does the universe feel the need to ruin that with a Monday?

Shoveling through digital tons of information seems to be the modern equivalent of going into work on a Monday morning and finding your inbox stacked five feet high. I have a feeling only government offices still use actual inboxes, given their penchant for wasting paper, but most everyone going to work today is going to find one of their first tasks to be shoveling their way through the detritus whether that be actual bottles left from consumed beverages or mountains of information that were blissfully ignored. Perhaps, like me, you have plenty of both.

I think one of the first things needing to be removed from the pile and set to the side is the fact that Canadian driver James Hinchcliffe won the pole position for the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500. I know most of the people reading this couldn’t care less about the 500, but what makes this story worth shoveling out of the pile is that one year ago today, the day after qualifying, Hinchcliff crashed into Turn 3, right here in my backyard, and nearly bled to death. With head and spinal cord injuries, it is amazing that he is even driving a golf cart, let alone rounding the 2.5-mile oval at speeds averaging 230.760 miles per hour. The strength and determination required to pull off this kind of comeback should be inspiring for a Monday morning.

Apparently the Billboard Music Awards were last night. I didn’t watch them, but if we’re shoveling we probably want to include this in the save pile somewhere. I can’t say anything authoritative, since I was sound asleep through most of it, but Billboard has posted their choices for 10 best performances of the night. Apparently Madonna did a tribute to Prince, Celine Dion sang in tribute to her late husband, René Angélil, and Britney Spears performed a tribute to herself. Or something like that. I do know that you should probably avoid the comments section of any performance you might see. The trolls were out in force last night and spread their hate and nonsense across the whole show.

Did you know that the used sneaker market nets over $1 billion annually? WTF? I thought it was strange when a “vintage” sneaker store popped up in a local mall a couple of years ago, but the number of people collecting limited release shoes has grown into a full-fledged part of the fashion industry. Does it make a lick of sense? Not really, but it does make for great conversation. Oh, and before you go shoveling your old sneakers out of your closet, one of the conditions to keeping the prices on these shoes stupidly high is that they’ve not actually been worn. Business Insider has a great piece on the industry. People who spend this much on shoes they can’t wear have no room to be making fun of geeks who buy toys they’ll never play with.

For those of you who enjoy shoveling politics, especially if you are my age or older, you’re going to either love or hate or love to hate this next one: The US is getting cozy again with Vietnam. Let that sink in a minute. During his visit there yesterday, President Obama announced the lifting of a decades-old arms embargo to the island nation where so many thousands of troops died in the one war the United States unquestionably lost. There’s a good, or at least understandable, reason for the move, though: China’s getting feisty in the region. While the President denies such reasoning on an official basis, Vietnam has been rather public in its concern regarding how China has been throwing its weight around in the South China Sea. Specifically, with island bases encroaching ever closer, China could send planes from one of those islands and bomb Hanoi in less than an hour. Vietnam is scared and we’ve seen this before. Be concerned.

Finally, today is #WorldTurtleDay. In the never-ending stream of special days and tributes, this is one that doesn’t annoy us quite as much. I mean, who can get angry about a turtle. In fact, I’m guessing a lot of us resemble turtles with the pace we’re moving today. These are some of the longest-living creatures on the planet, though. If moving a little (or a lot) slower is the key to a happy and longer life, then maybe we should start paying attention to the lessons they have to teach. Turtles are incredibly cool, even if they aren’t mutant teenagers chomping down on pizza.

Most of what I’m seeing this morning deserves to be shoveled right into the dumpster. There is an incredible amount of meaningless noise that serves no other purpose than to be a distraction. Shoveling to bulk out of the way is our best hope of sorting out what’s really important. I won’t say that it will make your Monday any better. Some of what I’m seeing rather sucks if one is deep in the stock market or heavily involved in retail. Still, just getting rid of the piles of stuff at least creates the illusion that you’re doing work or something like that.

With all that comes at you today, just keep shoveling and try to not throw out your back in the process.

Current Issues / PotD / Social Commentary

Fair Doesn’t Get Personal

May 22, 2016

charles i. letbetter - fair isn't personal

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. —Groucho Marx

charles i. letbetter - fair doesnt get personal

Complaining about life not being fair is immoral when you’re already so close to the top.

I could be very frank with you and say that life isn’t fair. Ever. I could end this article here and go back to bed, which sounds so very tempting. But to do that would be missing the entire point this morning. You already know life isn’t fair. You feel how unfair life is everytime the car doesn’t start, or someone else gets the girl, or the baby throws up on you just as you’re about to walk out the door. You don’t need me to tell you that life isn’t fair. What I want you to hear this morning is that nothing to do with fairness, the good, the bad, or the indifferent, is personal. The universe is not picking on you.

From the earliest point in our lives, we look for fairness. If we see a child with a lollipop, we want a lollipop. If one of our classmates has new shoes, we think we deserve new shoes as well. Someone gets paid a given amount for a certain job, we think it’s only fair that everyone be paid the same amount for the same job. This concept of what is fair seems to be universal. Even monkeys understand equal pay for equal work. We want everything in our lives to be fair, or so we say.

The fact is, if you’re living in the United States, Canada, or most of Western Europe, the scales are already tipped in your favor. Those little inconveniences you consider unfair are little more than a minor balancing of the universal measure of right and wrong, and chances are you’re still coming out much better than the vast majority of people. Consider some of the following comparisons:

Americans spend less on food than any other country.
When it comes to taxes, Americans pay less than most developed nations, coming in more than 25% below the average.
Someone at the poverty line in America is still in the top 14% of global wealth distribution.
The United States is a mere 4.5% of the global population, but we produce 30% of its total GDP.
Compared to the rest of the world, Americans are all the 1%.

Why? What’s fair isn’t a personal thing. Shit happens on a universal basis. There’s no cosmic calculator that is keeping tabs on the number of good things you get versus the bad. There’s no mystical figure in the sky or below the earth who is waiting to reward you for being nice, or punish you for being a total bitch. Instead, what we consider to be fairness has more to do with where on the planet you were born, whether your parents were (comparatively) rich, and whether you had the opportunity to go to school. If you had those things, life is likely to be overly fair to you. If you were born with those factors against you, life is more likely to feel like the bottom of a global shithole.

Whether you want to admit it or not, if you were born in the US, regardless of any other factor, life for you is more fair than 85% of the rest of the world. Here’s another list:

While you complain about slow internet speeds or lack of wifi in a given location, 60% of the world still has no internet service at all.
When you complain about the long wait times at the doctor’s office, consider that 27% of the world’s population has no access to modern healthcare at all.
If you are tempted to complain about your job, remember that over 200 million people around the world have no job and few prospects for ever getting one.
Before you gripe about the assembly instructions being in more than one language, know that 750 million people in the world can’t read at all.
As you’re complaining about the slow service at that restaurant, over 795 million people will go hungry today. Most of those will go hungry tomorrow as well.

Are any of those statistics in any way fair? What is fair about children in one part of the world sleeping soundly at night while those in a different region huddle together in fear as they listen to bombs falling around them? What is fair about women in Africa walking multiple miles each day to collect water when all you do is turn a tap and then complain because you don’t like the way it tastes?

In the past week, I’ve heard people complain that they didn’t think it fair that someone was prettier, someone had bigger boobs, someone had a better spouse, someone had a better job, someone had a bigger house. Each one of those people specifically said they didn’t think their current condition was fair.

I don’t think the real problem is one of fairness at all. Life isn’t treating you mean, the universe doesn’t have a target attached to your forehead. You’re just greedy, and perhaps lacking in perspective. Your desire for more blocks your ability to see just how much you already have.

Life is treating you just fine. So not every little detail goes your way. So someone else gets the promotion at work. So Brad Pitt will still be hotter than me even when he’s 98.

You’re alive. That’s fair.

PotD / science

Intercourse No More

May 21, 2016

Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives. —Bertrand Russell

Sexual intercourse may not be required for the perpetuation of the species, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be fun

Intercourse, that aspect of sexual relations performed primarily for and to the end of creating more little people with which to overpopulate the planet, is a problem. There are, globally, too many of us for the planet to sustain. Yet, due to uneven distribution of that population we, as Americans, don’t see the effects that come from having an excessive amount of copulation. We don’t see the overcrowding. We don’t see the poverty. We don’t see the disease. There’s a tremendous problem and, for the most part, we’re keeping our eyes shut.

Our children and grandchildren, however, may not have to deal with many of the consequences that come from our insatiable desire for sex. Earlier this week, we discussed how that, given that free will is a myth, we might one day be able to map the chemicals and neuron combinations that lead to inappropriate behaviors, such as murder, rape, and threat, and turn those off. Imagine how much better the world will be when we turn off that inclination and desire to kill people and do them harm.

Then, I was reading last night an article concerning how close we are to taking the sex out of procreation. With advances in in-vitro fertilization (IVF), not only is it safer to procreate without intercourse, the world’s longevity may soon require that to be the only means through which children are born. We may not have a choice.

Here’s the thing: procreating the old-fashion way of picking a mate and shagging until you’re purple carries with it a load of dangers. Not only is there the threat of sexually transmitted diseases, there’s an even greater likelihood that both of you are passing along genetic traits and tendencies that lead to even worse outcomes. The intercourse with which we are most familiar allows us to pass on to our children the entire gene structure of our ancestors, including their inclination toward male-pattern baldness, Tay-Sachs disease, cystic fibrosis, Huntington’s disease, and over 250 other potentially fatal conditions that can already easily be eliminated with IVF.

As research continues, we may eventually be able to completely eradicate genetic disease and quite possibly build immunities against other forms of illness as well. Within four or five generations, we could have a population that is stronger and healthier than we have ever been. The downside to that, though, is that we won’t die off as fast, making the overpopulation problem even more critical than it already is.

Somewhere within the next one hundred years, overpopulation cannot help but become a front line issue that politicians and governments can no longer ignore. You think government interference in your sex life is bad now, it could get a lot worse. Requiring children to be conceived only through IVF or some similar method does two things that are important for the future. First, it makes our offspring healthier, wiser, and safer. If we drop genetic diseases and eliminate the chemicals and synaptic combinations that lead to crime, we have the healthiest and safest society ever. Second, by using only IVF, the rate of procreation can be controlled. We can effectively bring population numbers down in the most heavily populated areas of the world, and boost them in those regions where underpopulation is also a problem.

At this point, we no longer need intercourse. In fact, one has to wonder if, among all the other impulses we filter from human existence, we might not eventually elimination sexual desire altogether. After all, how many really good science fiction movies have you seen where the characters showed any inclination toward boinking each other? We might see a passionate kiss here and there because we can’t imagine expressing deep emotion any other way, but that’s about all we get in the future: a kiss. That prospect would be rather sad and disappointing.

However, if we don’t need intercourse but can still have intercourse, what that does is open the door toward exploring sex simply as an elevated means of physical pleasure. If we no longer have to worry about disease or accidental pregnancies, we are free to explore and allow our sexual lives to be more open. Proclivities we have hidden behind the term “kink” would more likely be brought out into the open, become more socially acceptable, and explore means of physical pleasure from which we currently shy away. Not using sex to have babies has the potential to be very freeing.

With such developments, we could also see a significant shift in power control as gay and lesbian individuals, whose sexual activities don’t produce children already, become the preferred leadership around the world. This would follow a line of reasoning wherein those who can still procreate naturally are seen as a threat to world security. Same-gender sex could very well become the dominant form of sex, which just might make the world a more fabulous place to live.

Of course, there’s a downside. Stolen genetic material might be manipulated in such a way as to create a race of super villains the like of which no one at Marvel or DC Comics has ever imagined. I assume the appropriate response from some future grandchild of Tony Stark would be to create a combative race of superheroes to keep the rest of us safe. The world would likely never be perfect, but it would definitely be interesting.

For better or worse, all of these possibilities still lie reasonably well into the future. I’m not expecting to walk into my doctor’s office one day and be told, “Hey, we can cure you of all that old-age grumpiness.” I’m not sure I would want that to happen. But if they can make intercourse better, then sign us all up! The future could be very pleasurable.

Fashion / PotD

Casual Friday All Week

May 20, 2016

America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness – divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays. —P. J. O’Rourke

charles i. letbetter - casual friday all week

Just where do we draw the line for what is appropriate for professional business attire

Walk into most any office today and notice how people are dressed. When one compares what is acceptable professional attire in today’s environment, it is difficult to image that less than 50 years ago there was no such thing as casual Fridays. White-collar workers actually work starched shirts with white collars. Women wore dresses or, at the very least, a well-accessorised pantsuit, and that was only acceptable when the outdoor temperatures were frigid.

My father didn’t even own a pair of jeans until the 1980s, and then it was a practical purchase, not one of comfort. He hated those jeans.

The first week I was working at a funeral home in college, I was given the task of mowing the tiny bit of grass in front of the building. I asked if I could go back to the dorm and change into more appropriate clothing. I was told, “No, we’re professional. You need to learn to do everything in a suit and tie.” So, I did.

Looking around, I see only a handful of places where strict professional dress codes are still in place: courtrooms, newscasts (only applies to the talent behind the desk), award shows, and, to this day, funeral homes. Everywhere else has gone casual, not just on Friday, but every day of the week. Even worse, a number of casual offices still observe Casual Fridays. How does one get more casual than casual?

What happened to our sense of decorum and professionalism? When did we stop taking pride in how we dress on a daily basis? Why is even Casual Friday too much of a strain for some people?

Blame the leisure suit. Blame former President Jimmy Carter. Blame that whole self-awareness movement. Blame Lululemon.

Men’s leisure suits were an attempt in the 1970s to add some style and flair to men’s wear. Lapels went wide. Ties went fat. Fabrics went synthetic. Good taste went out the fucking window. Half-way through that decade, the ties were dropped in favor of pattern-printed silk shirts that were left unbuttoned far, far, too often. Those who are old enough to remember comedians Stave Martin and Dan Akroyd’s skits as “two wild and crazy guys” know what I mean. There was still a nod toward appropriate dress as they were, technically still suits, and depending on the year, matching vests as well. Still, they classify as one of the worst mistakes fashion has ever conceived.

Jimmy Carter was one of the few presidents elected who was not a politician or lawyer by trade. Born and raised in Plains, Georgia, part of Mr. Carter’s appeal to this day is that he’s still basically a peanut farmer. He’s a down-to-earth, hard-working, no-nonsense kind of person with enough natural charm to make anyone comfortable. Being a farmer, though, he was unaccustomed to wearing a suit. He hadn’t often worn one as governor of Georgia, and during those moments when he was not meeting with other heads of state, he didn’t particularly enjoy wearing a suit at the White House. As a result, the White House dress code was relaxed. The seed for Casual Friday had been planted.

When the White House relaxed, the entire nation followed suit, so to speak. I still remember starting school in the fall of 1977 and being told that bluejeans were now acceptable attire. That move alone was shocking. It was during this period that the concept of Casual Friday was first introduced. No one actually intended to “dress down” the entire week, but since Fridays tend to have fewer client meetings and a less critical atmosphere, the move seemed reasonably safe.

Then came the whole self-awareness movement in the late 80s and early 90s. Having survived the suffocating strictness of the Reagan years and pretending to be something we weren’t, Americans began to “get in touch” with their individuality. Being off-trend became trendy. Khaki was everywhere because it was more professional than bluejeans but more comfortable than a suit. Men stopped wearing ties because the open shirt collar was “more relatable.” Women stopped wearing heels and sandals became a really big thing.

Then, some idiot invented the flip-flop. Born from the Southern California surf culture, with which we were all enamored, shoe companies took a serious hit as the nation decided it wanted to be as close to barefoot as possible. To this day, I know far too many people whose entire shoe wardrobe consists only of flip-flops. Many of you may even remember the controversy in 2005 when members of Northwestern University’s national championship women’s lacrosse team wore flip-flops to the White House. Granted, they were nicer than your every-day flip-flops, but they were still flip-flops. Casual Friday had taken over.

Now, Casual Friday is going a little further. Not content with casual button-up shirts and loose-fitting slacks from H&M, “athleisure” is beginning to leave the yoga studio and creep into the workplace. An article published yesterday by Bloomberg confirms the trend. Sales of activewear are up 15 percent while much of the higher-end fashion industry languishes in the doldrums. With celebrities like Beyoncè pushing athleisure with her Ivy Park line, more people are trying to figure out ways to go from the office to the gym or the yoga studio without having to carry a gym bag.

This new form of Casual Friday might not be quite so bothersome if people only worked out after leaving the office, but that’s not the case. More people workout in the morning or during their lunch break. They sweat. Then, for reasons I can only chalk up to oxygen deprivation during their workout, these otherwise-sane people think they can just toss a long sweater or t-shirt over their workout clothes and be fine. No, I’m sorry, you stink and your hands are sweaty. Take a fucking shower and change clothes, please.

An inconvenient turn of events left me eating lunch at The Cracker Barrel yesterday, something I had not planned on doing when I left the house wearing slacks that, in my opinion, were a little too loose. As I looked around the dining room, I noticed an interesting dichotomy. Women approximately my age or older were all dressed in a manner we might have considered casual back in the 70s, but was nonetheless quite well styled with appropriate accessories, their hair coifed, and gentle applications of makeup. Younger women, however, were all wearing jeans, or yoga pants, or shorts, all with flip-flops, no makeup, and their hair tossed in something that might have been a bun or a ponytail but somehow not quite either. The difference between the generations was startling.

Casual Friday has its place, and one should be free to wear clothes that are comfortable. Yet, I cannot help but mourn the loss of professionalism in how we dress. I feel sad when people no longer take any pride in how they dress on a daily basis, or the manner in which they present themselves in public. I’ll even admit to being biased against people I meet whose choice of clothing is grossly inappropriate. When I shake someone’s hand for the first time, a cold and sweaty palm are not what I want to encounter.

It’s Friday, and there’s no reason to not be casual about it, but good taste has a limit. Please try to not cross that line.

Art / Music / Photography / video

Talent Contests Don’t Understand Talent

May 19, 2016

A really great talent finds its happiness in execution. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Any true contest of talent finds that true talent doesn’t need a contest

Talent is elusive. A lot of people can develop skill, but talent comes from the soul; either one has it or one doesn’t. There is no way to cultivate something that doesn’t exist.

Those who know me best understand that I do not submit my work to appear in juried art shows, with very few exceptions. Why? Because those who judge art, in any form, can do no more than reward those whose aesthetic matches their own. Putting a blue ribbon on a piece of art is not saying that the one piece is better than all the others entered, but merely that it would match the drapes were it hanging in the judges’ livingrooms.

Having held this opinion for many years, I am always a bit torn when it comes to televised talent contests of any kind. On one hand, they do provide a platform on which talent might be recognized that would otherwise not receive attention. At the same time, however, it puts talent into a competitive arena that fails to understand what talent is in the first place. Having talent means that there is something within you, a combination of nurture and nature, a very specific mix of brain chemicals and specific methods of synaptic activity that allows you to do something very well and, in most cases, actually enjoy doing it. There is no competition for who has the best brain chemicals or whose synapsis fire the fastest. There is absolutely nothing about talent that can adequately and accurately serve as a basis for competition.

Look at those things that are competitive, such as sports. There is a definite measure of quality that defines who is the best. One runner moves across a given distance faster than anyone else. That can be measured. He or she in the winner. In a football game, one team or the other manages to move that odd-shaped ball across the goal line. Points scored are a quantitative measure. One team is the winner.

Talent, though, has no inherent scoring system nor means of accurate quantitative analysis that is wholly objective. We can measure range, we can measure decibels, we can measure color and light, but in the end, someone has to make a decision based on opinion, not an accurate measure of quality. Talent is, quite simply, not designed to be competitive in any way, shape or form.

So, we get down to the end of a popular talent contest like NBC’s The Voice. The concept has been syndicated around the world and is responsible for unearthing some incredible vocal talent. Yet, in each instance, only one person is selected as a winner and, every damn time, one can make endless arguments for multiple contestants that one was “better” than the other, and all of those arguments are going to be wrong.

No one is better. They are all different. They have different tonalities. They have different presentation methods. They have different appeals to people who prefer specific genres. One group of people may prefer the sound of one person over the other, but that is a subjective opinion that is likely to not be shared outside a limited group.

Look at all the myriad television contests that have been on television over the years. From all those, how many of those “winners” have turned their prize into an actual career? The answer is very few because being talented does not necessarily translate into broad commercial appeal. Choose the wrong song, choose the wrong timing, choose the wrong PR agent, and one’s talent career is sunk, but that does not mean that the person is not still every bit as talented.

This week, The Voice chose its four finalists: two women, two men. I’m going to post the video of their recent performance. Listen to the talent, attempt to be as objective as possible (which, in reality, is not possible) and try to make an argument that one is more talented than the other.

https://youtu.be/9wb7HqVNuKg

https://youtu.be/OrTCjntO3_s

https://youtu.be/SSg2xHumQs0

https://youtu.be/vRW3JistcGo

All four of these people hold superb and well-refined talent. You might not like their genre, you might not like the way they sing a specific song, you might not like the tone of their voice, but all of that is nothing more than your opinion. And, I hate to be the one to tell you, your opinion isn’t worth squat. You can bitch and moan and say whatever you want, but no opinion changes the fact these people are talented.

Talent is NOT a competition, whether it is singing or painting or photography or floral arranging or creative writing or acting or playing the cello. There is no contest that can truly say one talent is better than the other. Maybe we need to find a better approach.

Current Issues / Social Commentary / video

Fitness And Sex

May 19, 2016

Our growing softness, our increasing lack of physical fitness, is a menace to our security. —John F. Kennedy

You know you need to exercise, fitness just hasn’t been any fun, until now

Look at the quote above and who made it and we realize that, for the most part, the current American citizenry has never been in the best of shape, and despite numerous fitness crazes we’ve only gotten fatter. This is especially true if one lives in the Midwest, and if one lives in Indianapolis specifically, we’re more out of shape than anyone.

No, I’m not kidding. The American Fitness Index report was released this week and of the 50 US cities surveyed, Indianapolis comes in dead last. This is really bad. Look at this list of areas where we are failing:

Improvement Priority Areas (worse than 20% of target goal): • Lower percent meeting CDC aerobic activity guidelines • Lower percent meeting both CDC aerobic and strength activity guidelines • Lower percent consuming 2+ fruits per day • Lower percent consuming 3+ vegetables per day • Higher percent currently smoking • Higher percent obese • Lower percent in excellent or very good health • Higher percent of days when physical health was not good during the past 30 days • Higher percent of days when mental health was not good during the past 30 days • Higher percent with asthma • Higher percent with angina or coronary heart disease • Higher percent with diabetes • Lower percent of city land area as parkland • Fewer acres of parkland per capita • Lower percent using public transportation to work • Lower percent bicycling or walking to work • Lower Walk Score® • Lower percent of population within a 10 minute walk to a park • Fewer ball diamonds per capita • Fewer dog parks per capita • Fewer park playgrounds per capita • Fewer park units per capita • Fewer recreation centers per capita • Fewer tennis courts per capita • Lower park-related expenditures per capita

Just the size of that list should be enough for us to realize that we have a lot of work to do if we’re going to improve our situation. There is one measure not on the list, though, and it may be the one that gives us a chance to redeem our fat selves: sex. You’re reading that correctly, we might very well be able to sex ourselves into good health. Or, if not good health, at least something less likely to end up in the cardiac ward of your neighborhood hospital.

How is this possible, you ask? The folks behind your favorite porn site, PornHub, have created a new program with you in mind: Bangfit. No, I’m still not kidding. We’re totally wearing our serious face here. This is a legitimate fitness program, or, at least, an attempt at one. Here, watch this surprisingly safe-for-work video that explains the whole thing:

https://youtu.be/DUFjNiusLEw

Okay, so that’s at least the way the thing is supposed to work. I wouldn’t be posting this if I hadn’t checked the thing out for myself and, uhm, … it’s not working. This may be due to the fact that dozens of online magazines and sources reported about the site yesterday and their servers are now totally overloaded; that’s what I’m guessing. When I first tried accessing the web page, it timed out. When I tried about five minutes later, I got the site, but none of the links worked. When I pull up the site on my phone, it asks for a specific code to sync my phone, which is supposed to track my “activity,” with the computer, which is supposed to provide “instruction.” That doesn’t always happen, though. When the sight finally DID work, the lag between clicking a link and seeing any result was rather slow.

In theory, the premise should be correct. Sexual activity should provide serious fitness advantages, especially when done on a regular basis. I’m seeing some problems with the reality of the concept, though.

For there to be any fitness advantage, the sex is going to have to last more than five minutes. C’mon guys, you know damn good and well how rarely that happens. You’re going to have to work on your stamina.
No one is that regular with their sex lives, at least, not if you’re using a partner. The program has the single-person option, of course, which is also likely to be the most popular. But the real fitness comes from the couples play and very few couples manage to make daily sex a reality.
The product is still in beta, so there are still some glitches and not all features are present. For example, only three settings are currently offered: single, couple, and threesome (in your dreams).
The scoring system relies on your phone being attached to your hip in some way and measures your movement accordingly. So, depending on the position, one person might get more of a workout than the other. I also found I was able to adjust my fitness score simply by shaking my phone.
Really cheezy porn from Brazzers plays on your computer while you’re “exercising.” Maybe you like cheezy porn. I’m sure someone does … somewhere.

I do encourage you to give it a try for yourself. Who knows, maybe we can start having group “fitness” parties! Of course, there are the necessary caveats. Check with your doctor to see if your heart is healthy enough for sex (mine always looks at me funny when I ask that question). Be sure to stretch, hydrate, and all that other pre-workout stuff fitness people do. Don’t forget to use appropriate safeguards such as condoms and birth control unless you really, really want an excuse for never working out again.

Sex fitness really isn’t a bad idea, and may be just the thing to help Indianapolis get off its unhealthy and flabby ass. I see a lot of people clicking on the single user option, though. Out of shape people aren’t going to find workout partners for this program too easily. So, good luck with that. Let me know how that works out for you.

Mythology / PotD

Life Without Free Will

May 19, 2016

Free will carried many a soul to hell, but never a soul to heaven. —Charles Spurgeon

We are so comfortable with the concept of free will, can we even begin to imagine life without it?

Free will. You’ve used it as an excuse. You’ve used it as a tool of judgement and condemnation. But this morning we’re stepping right off into the deep end of the pool by considering the possibility, and quite likely the fact, that free will has never existed. Sounds like I’m off my rocker, doesn’t it? Kat might as well reserve me a room in the old folks home, strapped into a rocking chair so I can’t hurt anyone. Bear with me.

Back in 2002, there was a movie starring Tom Cruise called Minority Report. The underlying premise of the movie was that a very “special” group of triplets had the ability to see into the future and know who was going to commit a crime before it was committed. Law enforcement found a way to tap into that gift and use it to stop those crimes (mostly murders) before they happen. Things get dicey, though, when the condition of the triplets begins to deteriorate and a false positive accuses a cop (Cruise) of committing a murder. The movie was interesting, in part, because it raised the question of what happens when one’s free will is interrupted, even though that interruption might save a life.

Our society, as it is currently constructed, depends on free will, the presumption that one makes, and is, therefore, responsible for one’s own decisions. Our entire justice system and our concept of guilt and innocence hinge upon free will. Religions around the world fall to nothing if there is no free will determining morality. Without free will, what’s the point? If we have no choice in the matter, what keeps us from being the most base and loathsome creatures possible?

Yet, for all the arguments one might make to the contrary, there is considerable evidence that there is no such thing as free will. This is a problem; an existential and perhaps merely academic problem at this point, but nonetheless a problem.

What I encourage you to do, just as soon as we’re finished here, is to jump over to The Atlantic and read the article by philosopher Stephen Cave, There’s No Such Thing As Free Will. He goes a lot deeper into the details than I have space to do here. He does a very good job of breaking down all the science into a language that is almost understandable. Appreciate his effort. When I drop back to look at the base research material even my head begins to hurt. He’s doing you a favor. Sort of.

The challenge in even bringing up this topic is that it causes us to question our motivations, our morality, and our very place in the universe. Almost to a person, our initial response is fatalistic: if I’m not in control of my life, if my choices are predetermined, then fuck it, I’m going to do whatever the hell I want. People who take such a fatalistic approach are more likely to steal, less likely to help someone else, and less likely to be happy with their lives. If that is how life is without a belief in free will, then maybe we’re better off living with a lie. Some scientists, theologians, and philosophers are willing to go with that theory.

But do we really want to live under the umbrella of a lie? As we are better able to map the activities of the brain and observe neurons and chemicals involved with specific activities, we can actually observe how our brains prepare us for an action before we’ve made the conscious decision to act. Stop and let that sink in a minute. We’re not just seeing the brain activity that comes post-decision, what we’re observing now is how our brain anticipates and actually guides us toward what we like to think is a decision of our own doing. There are specific transmitters that fire, certain chemicals that are activated, to correspond with everything we do, whether it be good, bad, or indifferent.

While the prospects may seem frightening (determinism is a very scary thing), being without free will may ultimately be in everyone’s best interest. Cave uses the comparison of how we responded to the atrocities of 9/11 versus how we responded to the atrocities of Hurricane Katrina. We look at 9/11 as being something that someone caused: someone made a willful and deliberate decision that resulted in horror. As a result, our first response was one of anger and retribution. By contrast, we look at the devastating effects of Hurricane Katrina and, because we don’t consider weather to be an act of anyone’s doing, we skip the blame game and go straight to healing the hurt, addressing the loss of life and property, and moving on with our lives. Where there is no free will fueling our anger, we get to a more appropriate response much more quickly.

There is also the prospect that as we learn even more about what causes us to do what we do, we might then be able to address anti-social problems, especially those involving violence, before they ever become an issue. Whereas the approach in Minority Report was to imprison people before they committed a crime, we may be able to one day completely eliminate the need for prisons by altering whatever chemical/neurological combination leads to those specific actions.

In the end, the world could ultimately be a much better place as we wean ourselves away from the concept of free will and take steps to address the real cause of our inappropriate behaviors. The same science is also likely to lead us to cure diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s. Our future could be very bright and wonderful.

But in the meantime, there are some critical questions regarding our dependency on free will and religion that need answering and those answers are not going to come easily. We’ve relied on free will for so very long, it is almost impossible for us to imagine life without it. But if we start looking at those questions now, by the time science can fully explain our actions then perhaps we’ll have some moral and philosophical answers.

Advertising / video

Telling Different Stories

May 18, 2016

People are much deeper than stereotypes. That’s the first place our minds go. Then you get to know them and you hear their stories, and you say, ‘I’d have never guessed.’ —Carson Kressley

Advertising is at its best when it does more than push a product and tells stories we weren’t expecting

Stories are a natural part of any good ad, whether it’s video or still. Ads have to be compelling stories where the viewer can put themselves into the situation or, at least, relate to some aspect of the story. No one buys a product with which they cannot in some way relate. So, a large part of being a creative ad person is knowing how to tell a good story.

Linus Karlsson tells great stories. As chairman of McCann/Commonwealth, though, we’ve seen Karlsson more as an agency builder. Some of us are old enough to remember his fantastic Miller Lite ads from several years ago, but he’s been heading up the corporate side of things long enough many might have forgotten just how creative he can be. Apparently, that is a large part of the reason he started a new agency, Ming Utility and Entertainment. Small and focused on work that is either useful or entertaining, Ming gives Karlsson the chance to spread his creative wings once again, and he has created a most compelling story in the Frank & Marty campaign for Smith Optics.

The trend among makers of sunglasses is to put them on pretty faces, cool people who are doing all the things you would like to be doing if you weren’t tied down with silly stuff like work and children and paying bills. Karlsson goes exactly the opposite direction not only in creating characters who aren’t especially young and hip, but the two people out of ten who wouldn’t use Smith sunglasses while fishing. They consider such an advantage cheating.

We’ve seen similar approaches before, but Karlsson goes all in with a set of short films that allow us to really get to know Frank & Marty, and gives Karlsson and his team plenty of room to tell the whole story. The two characters, both of whom are fresh castings we’ve not seen before, even have their own website and social media accounts. And Instagram (there’s a joke there, but you won’t get it until you’ve seen all the videos)

Take a look at the videos below and enjoy the work of a master storyteller. These are the kind of stories we all want to tell with our pictures. This is what makes being creative fun and worthwhile.

Fashion / PotD

Empowerment Or Exploitation

May 18, 2016

Climate change, demographics, water, food, energy, global health, women’s empowerment – these issues are all intertwined. We cannot look at one strand in isolation. Instead, we must examine how these strands are woven together. —Ban Ki-moon

charles i. letbetter - empowerment or enslavement

Empowerment is more than words; the actions have to match as well

There are days, like today, where I feel as though all the stories are the same, we’ve merely switched up the names a bit. Twenty years ago, June of 1996, Kathie Lee Gifford was co-host of a popular morning talk show and was active in causes designed to empower women. Somewhere along the way, someone convinced her that putting her name on a clothing label would be a good idea. The label would be affordable and provide stylish fashion to women who couldn’t afford the big designer names. Empowerment; that’s a good thing, right? There was just one problem.

June 26 came along and the chief executive of National Labor Committee Education Fund in Support of Worker and Human Rights in Central America told Congress that the clothes were being made by 13- and 14-year-olds in Honduras. Even worse, those children were being forced to work 20-hour days. Empowerment? No, enslavement.

The backlash against Mrs. Gifford was quick and hard. She was demonized from every direction. Never mind that it was Wal-Mart, not Mrs. Gifford, who had made the choice of suppliers. No one ever bothered to picket the people directly responsible. Instead, because her name was attached to the brand, it was Mrs. Gifford who had to take the responsibility.

Celebrity labels often have this problem. Putting their name on clothes can produce a perpetual revenue stream for the celebrity, often without them making any actual investment in the products at all. Their name, their face in the advertising, virtually ensures that the products will sell well. The celebrity can then use a portion the profits to support a cause of empowerment to a specific group, typically one related to their own background. Sounds like a can’t miss scenario, doesn’t it?

But it does miss. Often. In addition to Mrs. Giffords nightmare, which eventually sunk the label, both Jaclyn Smith and Michael Jordan have lent their names to clothing lines only to have the claim on sweatshop use leveled against them. This is not a new story, and it’s happening again.

This time, it’s Beyonce’s Ivy Park label that’s coming under fire. British newspaper ran a story this past Sunday claiming that the sportswear brand is being manufactured in Sri Lanka by women making mere pittance a day in confining circumstances with strict curfews. That article wasn’t too bad, as it sloppily attempted to connect the brand, and its UK seller, Topshop, to disgraced BHS executive,Sir Philip Green. But then, writer Sirin Kale picked up the story for Vice brand Broadly and took the matter much, much deeper, exposing the severity of the situation.

Beyonce talks a lot about how she wants her Ivy Park brand to be a source of empowerment for women. In an interview with Elle (which also manages to cement Philip Green’s involvement), the music diva says of the brand:

It’s really the essence: to celebrate every woman and the body she’s in while always striving to be better. I called it Ivy Park because a park is our commonality. We can all go there; we’re all welcomed. It’s anywhere we create for ourselves. For me, it’s the place that my drive comes from. I think we all have that place we go to when we need to fight through something, set our goals and accomplish them.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Inspiring, even. I’ve no reason to doubt the singer’s sincerity. But I’m pretty sure the women making those clothes aren’t visiting any parks, either. They do one thing and one thing only: make Ivy Park clothes.

The women who work for the Sri Lankan garment manufacturer make roughly the equivalent of sixty-two cents an hour. They don’t see their families; they live in dormitories on-site. They have strict curfews and their movement is limited. They barely survive. One woman said the $126 a month she makes sewing mesh panels into leggings was not enough to cover her basic expenses. Where’s the empowerment in that?

Now, to be fair, conditions in Sri Lanka are not as bad as those in Bangladesh or Pakistan. The company that owns the sweatshop pays particular attention to the building’s structure and meeting appropriate building codes. Women here are not as likely to be caught in a burning building. I should also mention that their pay is above Sri Lanka’s pitiful excuse for a minimum wage. However, workers would need to be paid nearly three times that minimum, or more than double their current wage, before they can actually live off what they are making.

Working conditions don’t have to be the worst in the world before they become exploitation. When the clothing retails at (approximately) $14 for a headband on up to $250 or so for a dress, someone is being empowered, but it is being done through the exploitation of women whose conditions are desperate enough that they will work for such horrible wages. Millions of dollars will flow into Beyonce’s bank account, and equally so for Topshop, but not for anyone else. Exactly how is that empowering to anyone but Beyonce?

We keep seeing this pattern over and over and over with almost every celebrity label on the market. Beyonce isn’t the only one, she’s just the latest big name who’s making money off women so poor they likely have never even heard of the singer and certainly can’t afford her albums.

As we saw with Mrs. Gifford’s label, though, canceling orders, shutting down the sweatshops, isn’t the answer, either. When Wal-Mart finally pulled the clothing order from the Honduran sweatshop, over 10,000 people lost desperately needed jobs. In Beyonce’s case, the numbers would likely be even higher. It’s not just the workers but entire poverty-ridden countries being exploited by the whole fashion industry.

If Beyonce was really serious about empowering women, she’d make sure those is Sri Lanka were receiving a living wage, even if that means shaving a percentage point off her own profit. If she were serious about empowerment, a portion of the profits could go into the Sri Lankan communities in desperate need of help. If empowerment were really the focus, The singer could support nutrition and education programs for the women making her clothes.

Fashion isn’t about empowerment, though, despite what their marketing packet might say. Fashion is about profit and if that means exploiting large groups of disadvantaged and disenfranchised people, then sadly the fashion establishment finds those terms acceptable.

Celebrity labels are nothing more than an attempt to profit from a name while it’s popular. No one is empowered. No one is given an advantage. It’s all about the money and exploitation. Every. Damn. Time.

photography

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights! —Warren G. Harding

Share this:

Like this:

I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want. —Muhammad Ali

Share this:

Like this:

The modern artist must live by craft and violence. His gods are violent gods. Those artists, so called, whose work does not show this strife, are uninteresting. —Ezra Pound

Share this:

Like this:

An able, disinterested, public-spirited press, with trained intelligence to know the right and courage to do it, can preserve that public virtue without which popular government is a sham and a mockery. —Joseph Pulitzer

Share this:

Like this:

I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being. —Jackie Robinson

Share this:

Like this:

The world today doesn’t make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do? —Pablo Picasso

Share this:

Like this:

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. —James Thurber

Share this:

Like this:

I saw courage both in the Vietnam War and in the struggle to stop it. I learned that patriotism includes protest, not just military service. —John F. Kerry

Share this:

Like this:

The Indianapolis 500 is a party that starts long before anyone gets to the actual race.

Share this:

Like this:

The accepted definition of a serial killer is a person who kills at least three times with a cooling off period in between his murders. —Pat Brown

Share this:

Like this:

No other country in the world does what we do. On every issue, the world turns to us, not simply because of the size of our economy or our military might – but because of the ideals we stand for, and the burdens we bear to advance them. —Barack Obama

Share this:

Like this:

What you have caught on film is captured forever… it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything. —Aaron Siskind

Share this:

Like this:

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. —Ron White

Share this:

Like this:

Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. —Martin Luther King, Jr.

Share this:

Like this:

Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex. —Karl Marx

Share this:

Like this:

You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food. —Paul Prudhomme

Share this:

Like this:

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. —Phyllis Diller

Share this:

Like this:

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. —Groucho Marx

Share this:

Like this:

Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives. —Bertrand Russell

Share this:

Like this:

America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness – divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays. —P. J. O’Rourke

Share this:

Like this:

A really great talent finds its happiness in execution. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Share this:

Like this:

Our growing softness, our increasing lack of physical fitness, is a menace to our security. —John F. Kennedy

Share this:

Like this:

Free will carried many a soul to hell, but never a soul to heaven. —Charles Spurgeon

Share this:

Like this:

People are much deeper than stereotypes. That’s the first place our minds go. Then you get to know them and you hear their stories, and you say, ‘I’d have never guessed.’ —Carson Kressley

Share this:

Like this:

Climate change, demographics, water, food, energy, global health, women’s empowerment – these issues are all intertwined. We cannot look at one strand in isolation. Instead, we must examine how these strands are woven together. —Ban Ki-moon

Share this:

Like this:

Login

Follow Us