photograph
See that map? It’s all about American White Pelicans. The orange/peach-colored areas are where they go for breeding. The yellow areas are part of their natural migration patterns. The blue areas are where they like to call home. Look in all that white area. Can you find Indiana? Take off -25 points if you can’t. Indiana is one of the states that normally don’t see pelicans. That’s not to say that there aren’t occasional exceptions, but generally if one sees a pelican in Indiana it’s because it’s gotten lost.
So, how do we explain almost 40 pelicans flying in over our heads and landing in front of us at Eagle Creek this past Monday? Our best guess, which is not the least bit scientific, is that Hurricane Helene blew them off course. It could also be that these were younger pelicans who got lost during the storm, but we didn’t have the equipment to card any of the birds so we can’t be sure. Nonetheless, they were here and we took pictures of them. There are also some blue Herron, egrets, and a whole bunch of seagulls who weren’t expecting the invasion. I’ll let the pictures tell the story. You can put on your David Attenborough hat and narrate as you wish.
Jenn twisted my arm oh so hard yesterday that I didn’t have any choice but to go with her to Celery Bog in West Lafayette. This is what friends do for each other. She might have died out there without me.🤣🤣🤣 I was working with a new-to-me camera and after seeing the results it’s clear that my vision isn’t as good as I thought it was. I would have sworn I had clear, sharp images. Nope. Missed it by ][ this much. But you know what? Looking at not-quite-focused pictures is still better than having to deal with politics this morning. I can’t do it. So here, have some pictures. Tell me if you can identify that one grey bug ’cause I’m clueless.
There we go. Now, a nap before football!
Jennifer Tuttle is the kind of friend who never gives up being a friend no matter how challenging that might become. We’ve met a lot of people over the years, but Jenn’s the only one who regularly hits me up to go “hunting for snakes.” To an extent, “hunting for snakes” is code for “let’s go wandering around in the woods and see what we can find.” But at the same time, we really are looking for snakes. Jenn loves snakes. She has multiple, the largest of which, Sir Reginald, is big enough that he could kill and eat someone if he were of the mind. There are a number of snakes that she would love to find in the wild. So, we keep looking in the places where snakes are most likely to be found: outdoors.
For this trip, we headed South to Brown County State Park. The park is primarily known for its fall foliage, so in a sense this is “off-season” for them. We did see some high schools playing Wiffle Ball as part of a summer program that I’m sure was designed to pad their college applications. There were enough people out hiking and such that had I taken a tumble Jenn would have been able to get help without leaving me abandoned on the trail. The park was far from the crowded population one finds down there in October, though.
Temperatures have been fairly mild recently, so we didn’t have any issues with excessive heat. At 82 degrees Fahrenheit, the partly cloudy day seemed pleasing to any number of dragonflies and butterflies. The biggest challenge there was getting a clear shot without a lot of tall grass being in the way. There were a few other critters to be found as well, but it wasn’t until near the end that we finally saw a young water snake. You’ll meet him on down the page.
The only disappointment is that we’ve yet to see any bears. Jenn thinks we need to seed the state parks with Kodiak bears. I think that would make park trips much more adventurous. I’m not sure how the bears would respond to our warmer days, though, since their fur tends to run pretty thick. We did see one lone deer as we were leaving, but she bolted too quickly for us to get a shot.
So, here are the images we have from yesterday’s adventure. There are some notes along the way, so pay attention.
Has it really been two years since I processed a new photo taken with a real camera? Yes, it has quite sadly been that long, and a lot has changed in the processing of those images. Still, despite the extra time, it was still quite delightful to have something in front of me that I hadn’t already processed two or three times before. This is the type of fun that could easily get addictive, you know. I might start trying to take this up as a profession… oh, wait, already did that, didn’t we?
I have to give a HUGE thanks to Jennifer Tuttle for inviting me along on the trip with her daughter Ali. I also have to thank her husband, Carl, for allowing me to use his Nikon D5600 and 200-500mm zoom lens. Not having shot a Nikon in over 20 years, it took a minute to figure out the controls, but everything seemed to work fairly well and there weren’t too many shots lost because of my fumbling. The biggest issue I had was that my hands shake so much more now, especially with the heavier glass. There were some potentially delightful pictures of a spider trapped in the sand but they were simply too blurred from all the shake.
I have saved a couple of shots back for use at some other time, but for the most part the pictures below are representative of almost everything we saw during the day. It was a thrilling adventure that beats the hell out of lying in bed all day because the damn weather won’t cooperate. I hope you enjoy the photos (and that this slider works on whatever device you’re using).
These images were shot in June, 2010. The room was small and warm. It didn’t take much help for the flour to stick to her skin. In person, it looked as though a bakery had exploded in the room. I worked with some bakery-oriented backgrounds but didn’t like they way they fit the frame. Granite (the kind polished down for kitchen counters), mountains, and a lake worked better. Fourteen years is a long time. Looking back at these is fun.
Fun fact: that’s taco seasoning on her skin.
It didn’t come off for almost a week.
Years have passed since the world needed a top-notch spy who could also sink a three-pointer from half-court paint. But now, as a new danger has been discovered, she’s back and she’s determined to stop those who excuse Nazi ovens, deny people the right to their own land, and threaten the sanity of the planet. Dressed in a plain brown trench coat, she walks casually into buildings around the world, searching out clues for the mastermind behind the whole plot. She’s never caught as she undresses in a hidden room and leaves without anyone noticing. When she’s sure she’s found the source of the trouble, she radios in an air strike. The only problem is, can she get out before the bombs fall?
There is no sermon to preach here, merely an observation to make. Both sets of pictures are the same source. The first set, with my signature under them, is as I chose to process them in 2010 with the tools I had available at the time. The second set is how I chose to re-process them yesterday, 14 years later, with the tools I have available today. There is no judgment as to which set is better. They are simply different.
Should there ever come a day when I stop loving photography, please go ahead and shoot me on the spot. I know I’m old and kinda creepy looking and not as much fun to hang out with as when I was younger, but I still love photographic imagery. I love what is possible now. I have so many more ideas floating about in my head now than I ever did back in the film days. I miss shooting every day. I miss working with fantastic creative teams. And yeah, I miss walking into restaurants with a hot model on my arm. Those were absolutely the best of days and I long deeply for them to return, though I know I’ll never be up to being what I was 20 years ago.
While I may have stopped shooting three years ago, I haven’t stopped caring about my images. As the technology for processing them improves and as I think of different ways to present them, I fill at least a portion of almost every day going back and rethinking many of those images. While advancements in AI have opened a lot of doors, which makes it easier to change my mind about an image, there’s a lot it still can’t do. One of the big issues is high-end resolution. Bottom line: the higher the resolution of the RAW image, the more flexible it is when we start tearing them apart and rebuilding them.
My first digital camera, purchased in 2003, was a three-megapixel (MP) Nikon. I was amazed at what it could do, but it was basically only good for online images. Printing anything larger than 5×7″ was out of the question and even that was stretching the technology a bit. Late in 2004, I jumped up to a 5MP Canon. The difference was phenomenal and I could now print 8×10″ images and my biggest worry would be color matching (I spent a lot of time in print shops in those days). Over the years, we graduated to 13MP, then 18MP, and finally, 27MP before health and finances made me stop. At 18MP and up, I can get a decent 20×36″ print, and looks incredibly sharp hanging on my wall. So, everything’s cool, right?
Not at all. You see, once you start messing with a digital picture, you impact the depth of its quality. When you save a photo in JPEG (.jpg) format, you roughly half its resolution. You lose half of the information that was available to you in RAW format (BTW, if you’re not shooting in RAW, you’re an idiot and shouldn’t call yourself a professional; you’re a hobbyist at best. I may be retired but I still have standards). When you crop an image, the relative number of MP goes down. If you copy/paste portions from a RAW image into a new image, you only keep a fraction of the data that created that image. Your quality is compromised and if you’re not going for quality, then what the hell are you doing? While MP isn’t the only consideration in creating quality images, it’s still a pretty damn important consideration.
Let’s chase a rabbit for a second. The RAW image on which the picture above is based measures 4272×2848 pixels at 28.38MP and a bit depth of 14. By contrast, the image you see above is 6000 x 4000 pixels (20×13.3″) at 24MP and a bit depth of 8. We used Adobe’s Firefly AI to change the background and create the image of the camera in the foreground, The background image was barely 4MP and the camera rounds out to 3.5MP once the background was removed. That low resolution required some careful upscaling to work in the final image. However, I feel confident that we could pull a full-sized print and it looks presentable. [BTW, the censors at Adobe are apparently all Republicans. I had to go outside of Photoshop to create the background and camera because it said our base image violated its terms of service, ie, too damn close to being nude. Generating the AI in image would have avoided the need for upsizing.]
Okay, getting back on topic, what sparked this post in the first place was I got an ad on Facebook for an event introducing Canon’s new C400 Cinema Camera. I clicked on the ad because, yeah, the subject’s interesting. I’m never going to need one, but it’s still interesting. That led to me getting an ad for Canon’s EOS R3 mirrorless. With a retail price tag of $4,500+, you’d think this baby would be a beast of a camera. But while it has a stupidly high ISO range of 102400 and can shoot continuous 12 FPS (30 electronic), it’s only 24MP! WHY? The EOS R5 has been at 45MP for a while and only has a price tag of $2,900. Why the fuck are we paying more to go backward? Am I the only one who sees that as an absolutely stupid move? Explain this to me, Canon!
Of course, you know how Facebook works. Once you click on one ad in a group, all you get are competitive ads within the same group. Scroll down, and there’s an ad for Nikon’s new Z6iii. Their electronic shutter goes all the way up to 120 fps! Native shutter speeds go all the way up to 1/16,000 sec! I guess everyone’s trying to catch hummingbird wings without a strobe now. That’s about the only thing that requires those speeds. The $2,500 price tag beats the hell out of Canon’s R3, BUT, it’s still only a 24.5MP box! The older D850 has 45.7MP and the price goes down to $2,300! So again, why are we charging more for a lower-quality result?? This is making absolutely NO SENSE. Dear Nikon: explain this to me like I’m 5.
Almost immediately, an ad for a Sony event pops up. What do they have? Their new Alpha 9 iii. Coming in heavy at $6K (WTF?) They’re touting a new global shutter full-frame image sensor that I’d have to see in action (eg, hold in my hand and shoot under challenging conditions), 120fps “blackout-free” continuous shooting, and a max shutter speed of 1/80,000 sec. Again, what the living fuck are you folks shooting that is so damn fast? Comets move slower! And what about the quality of the fucking images? 24.6MP! I can get that from a ten-year-old Alpha 7! Back in July of 2019, five years ago, Sony introduced the Alpha 7RIV at a whopping 61MP! However, that camera has been discontinued! They came back with the Alpha 7RIVa at a price of around $2,500. Yes, the back screen is lower quality. Why the fuck do you need a back screen in the first place? No, it’s not as fast. But goddammit, the difference in quality is more than double! There’s no point in asking Sony for an explanation because even they admit they don’t know why they’ve not continued to improve that line.
The story is the same across all the various lines such as Fuji and Pentax. All the new boxes coming out would rather play with extremes that maybe .01% of photographers need or even have a clue how to use than give us cameras that can capture images so astonishing you’d swear they were real. I don’t fucking get it.
Yes, there are cameras that blow the top off in terms of megapixels available. Among those:
- Hasselblad S2D 100 C 100MP on a mirrorless medium format camera. $8,199.00 and beats the hell out of anything listed above, Sony.
- Phase One IQ4 Infinity platform digital backs, paired with Phase One XF platform bodies. 150MP digital mirrorless medium format. $55,990. Out of most people’s price range, but you’ll get one helluva picture.
- Fujifilm GFX 100II mirrorless medium format at 100MP. This is possibly the most versatile medium-format camera on the planet. Most retailers price it around $7,500.
Those are all medium-format cameras, though. Medium-format is typically a studio-only camera, or, at the very least, one you pack around with extreme care. I’ve traveled with Hasselblads back in the film days. Their cases were so carefully constructed that you could have carried the Queen’s crystal in those boxes without worrying about nicks. I don’t expect any medium-format camera to not be fragile. You don’t take them out into the marsh. You don’t stand with one in turn one of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. You don’t take one to the summit of any mountain that has snow on top year-round. They’re not built for rugged outdoor shooting.
I question, though, whether contemporary photographers are built for rugged outdoor shooting. Maybe the issue isn’t that camera companies have lost their minds and their drive. Maybe it’s something closer to the fact that photographers today are lazy. They want more bells and whistles on the camera so that the camera does most of the work for them. They want the camera to focus on multiple faces. They want the camera to calculate depth of field for them. They want the camera to choose the optimal settings. They want crystal-clear 120fps back screens so that they don’t have to put their eye up to a viewfinder. They want to be able to put the camera on a tripod, walk away, and use a remote control to take the picture regardless of what changes in the environment.
More than anything, though, contemporary photographers don’t care about print quality. Their images are digital and temporary. They don’t care that they’re not going to be able to find them in five years. They’ll still be somewhere online, right? Probably reduced to a pathetic 72dpi because on screens anything higher doesn’t matter. Who wants to see pictures ten, fifteen, 20 years from now, anyway?
Yeah, about that… If you’re not taking pictures to preserve a moment for all time, then why the fuck did you pick up a camera to begin with? What makes photographs valuable is that they’re timeless. The photo I take today can show my grandchildren (if I’m ever so lucky) how I changed as I age, how chemo changed how I look, how I dress, and the activities I engage in. And for those photos to survive twenty, forty, or 100 years into the future, I need prints. Good, high-quality prints. And while there are multiple factors to getting good quality prints, it all starts with a good quality camera at the highest resolution you can afford.
So, why on earth would you spend $6K on a toy, when you can spend less than half that and get a camera that produces better pictures? Why would anyone sell a camera that makes a lower-quality picture? Why are they not trying to improve the quality of the picture, not how easy it is to grab a photo of your food?
I don’t understand. And if there’s a camera company out there that needs me to demonstrate to them how the less expensive camera produces a higher-quality image, my email address is charles@charlesiletbetter.com. Sponsor me. I’ll pack my chemo pills and we’ll do a five-year project going around the world, then we’ll do a three-year exhibition of the photos. You’ll be amazed at the quality of the images. I promise you. I may be old, but I’ll outshoot anyone working with a brand-new 24MP camera.
[BTW, in 2009, I shot the Indianapolis 500 with a 13MP camera whose back screen didn’t function. Screw the back screen. We sold every image.]
Once upon a time, we created videos for almost all the pictures we took. That was great until we lost our video host. Then, the image carousel we were using stopped working. So, there are a bunch of images from 2021 that are no longer available where they’re supposed to be. Fortunately, it’s rare that anyone actually goes looking for those older image sets.
Going back through these images, though, I decided I wanted to process them differently than I did three years ago. That meant creating a new video that we’ve called “Everyone Knows.” The title comes from the words of the 1967 song by The Association, “Windy.” Specifically, “Everyone knows it’s Windy,” which is appropriate because the model’s name is Wendy. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use The Association’s music for the video.
Yeah, I know it takes a hot minute for the video to load. Nothing I can do about that. I had to FTP it to the server to make it available at all. These things just happen. I hope you enjoy it.
There were few good moments yesterday as it would rain, then stop, then rain more, then stop, then wind, more rain, a threat of tornadoes, then nothing. My body didn’t have time to adjust too much so it decided to shut down. Our shipment of cat litter arrived before the kids got home so I had to be the one to carry it in. My body didn’t like that. Nausea hit so hard that I had to take a shower and change clothes. Most of the rest of the day was spent in bed or in the bathroom. Fortunately, the kids are good at taking care of themselves, but I actually had a decent dinner planned and couldn’t stand up long enough to fix it.
Tipper had a problem at school yesterday when someone in one of her classes wrote “Fuck [her name]” on one of the tables. Since no one admitted witnessing the act, no one was admonished or punished. Tipper is more than ready to graduate and never see those particular classmates again. Fortunately, she’ll be in a more supportive atmosphere next school year.
Ryn (aka Big Gabe) called yesterday and gave me an update on all the gossip in that part of the family. The biggest impact is that they’ve blocked their grandparents for refusing to recognize them as non-binary. Their grandfather’s 85th birthday is next week and Ryn’s refusing to go, which I totally agree with. The grandparents have been nothing but manipulative their entire life and if they can’t be supportive then no, Ryn has no obligation to associate with them.
The other big news is that I’m attempting to get back into photography. All the why and wherefore are in yesterday’s post. I’m looking for volunteers so I can update my portfolio appropriately. Contact me here or on Facebook. How I’m going to juggle this along with the chemo, I don’t know. To a large degree, it doesn’t matter. Congress isn’t likely to prevent the severe cut in Social Security scheduled for ’33, so I need to take preventative action of my own now, even if it causes further health issues.
Speaking of the dicks in Congress, House Speaker Johnson doesn’t seem to understand how the separation of powers works. Yesterday, he “demanded” that all trials against the former president must stop on grounds that they amount to election interference. Yeah, that’s really the tact they’re taking. Nimwits. That’s not the way the system works. Congress doesn’t get to interfere in ongoing trials. These idiots are power-hungry and severely delusional. Please, vote and replace them all.
The fog this morning is severe. More rain is forecasted for this evening so I’ll need to complete whatever I’m going to do early today. Not that I had much planned, mind you. Feel free to distract me with coffee.
Somedays one takes a nap only to wake up and discover that the whole world has gone to hell in a handbasket. Okay, that can’t really happen because that’s exactly where we were before we took the nap. But, among the things slapping me in the face of reality are facts such as the Boy Scouts of America are changing their name to be more inclusive, TikTok owner ByteDance sued the US Government over the whole influence/data kerfuffle, and oh, look at this, I only have nine years left to live. Don’t laugh, if you’re using Social Security as any portion of your income, you’re in for a 21% cut come 1/1/33.
Now, Congress can fix that automatic reduction, but let’s be realistic: they won’t. Congress, for the past 16 years, has been the biggest bunch of do-nothing morons the world has ever seen. This particular Congress has passed fewer than 100 bills, the lowest amount ever. Why? Because they’re too busy flapping their yaps about things that you and I don’t give a shit about, like who’s giving the best hand job under the table. The chances that any future Congress is going to do any better is nill because there are too many nut jobs who think they need to elect people like them who are also nut jobs, which is how Marjorie Taylor Greene got into office in the first place. No, you idiots, you need to elect people who are smarter than you because you don’t know shit about running a government.
Anyway, I already can’t afford to live on what I’m making from Social Security and I damn sure can’t handle a 21% cut when I’m 72 years old. That means I need to get back to work taking pictures or I’m going to die. That’s it. My only salvation is to get back to doing the one thing I know best: photography.
Of course, that comes with a number of challenges. In case you hadn’t noticed, I have nothing in my archives newer than 2021. That means I need to take a shit ton of new pictures. Should be doable, right? Oh yeah, I don’t have any equipment anymore! And to go out and purchase all new pro-level equipment would set me back around $15,000 which I don’t have. Furthermore, given that this is like starting all over again, there’s no way I dare go into debt because I may well keel over and die before I can pay it back.
Ah, but there is a solution. My dear phone, which I loathe when it rings, has a 36-megapixel camera built in. While the zoom on the lens leaves a lot to be desired, it’s surprisingly good at portraits. I can shoot in RAW mode, onboard in Lightroom, and then finish up in Photoshop just like I would using any other digital camera. How good is it?
I took that shot in my bathroom just now with only the 8-megapixel self-facing camera, indoors, using only ambient light. Now, if you’ve seen me in person lately, you know I don’t even come close to actually looking that good. If I can do that good with the bad side of the phone, imagine how much better resolution I can get with the good side facing you!
So, I’m issuing an Open Call for “models” who are willing to help me build out my portfolio again. I’m thinking especially of some surreal concepts based on some of the strange movies I’ve seen and the costumes at last night’s Met Gala (Rita Ora’s beads, for starters). Talk to me, either here or on Facebook, and let’s put something together!
Now, be aware that I’m not as young and nimble as I once was. Because of all these fun health issues I now have, we get to abide by the following rules:
- We don’t shoot at my place, wherever that may be. Home has to be a place of rest and recovery. I cannot compromise on that issue.
- You have to pick me up. I can’t drive, Uber is too expensive, and the bus doesn’t work for a number of reasons. Just consider that to be your session fee.
- We need to know what we’re doing before you get here. I’ve worked on the fly before, but I’m not healthy enough for four-hour shoots anymore. Let’s talk, make a plan, and stick to it. No surprises.
- Models must be over 21 years old and, quite honestly, I currently have a preference for those 30 and up. I don’t have the energy to keep up with young people competing for followers on social media. Besides, from all that I can tell, contemporary women are looking hot well into their 60s now and there’s no reason to not flaunt what you’ve got.
- Yes, you can bring your dog.
- I reserve the right to cut a photo session short if my health threatens to reduce the quality of the images.
- You’re responsible for your hair, makeup, and wardrobe. Again, I’m on chemo. I can’t handle all the background work like I used to.
- No, I will not send you the RAW files.
- Yes, you may bring a chaperone or a bear. Not both because I don’t want them to be distracting and bears like to pick fights with people who are not doing anything.
- I will no longer get in the water.
- All efforts to not get us both arrested are appreciated.
- If a photo is particularly awesome, I reserve the right to re-edit it for the rest of my life. Don’t worry, that’s probably not too long.
If you have any questions, just ask. Let’s do what we can to make images that really stand out from the IG and TikTok crowd (while it lasts). I’m thinking, at the moment, that I can do the first 100 sets for trade. After I feel that I’ve sufficiently proven the value of what I can do, I’ll start charging again.
Does all that make sense? I’ve got to do something because nine years goes by in a heartbeat and I don’t want to get caught without sufficient income to live. Hit me up and let’s do something amazing!
My phone keeps waking me from my naps as news updates keep coming in at the end of the week. To be honest, not everything I’m being sent strikes me as news. And some of the news I’m getting has me rolling my eyes at the levels of stupidity being displayed.
For example, take the self-immolation of a man outside the courtroom where the former president is being tried for a hush-money scheme. The initial reaction was that it had to be a response to the trial. Nope, the poor man is critically ill and consumed with conspiracy theories he’d gotten off the Internet because, ya’ know, it’s all a conspiracy. The man is currently in stable but critical condition. Is there any real hope for his mind, though? Probably not.
Israel apparently sent ONE missile to Iran. Just one. And now, on the backside, neither Israel nor the US are admitting that anything was sent in Iran’s direction and Iran isn’t admitting that they were attacked. The rest of the world is waiting to see who flinches next. Crude prices have stabilized for the moment, but no one is thinking that the conflict between the two countries is over. If this seems like a strange way to run a war, you are correct.
Democrats saved the funding bill for the Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan after three Republicans on the committee attempted to sabotage the bill by voting against it. Normally, a bill with the Speaker’s blessing would move forward on a party-line vote, but Reps. Massie (KY), Norman (SC), and Roy (TX) voted against advancing the bill. This signals that the pro-Putin minority in the house, traitors everyone, is likely to find that Democrats don’t give them the victory of unseating a second Speaker, either. More Republicans are voicing their concern that the pro-Putin clan is possibly violating the law, which may not go well in an election year like this one.
Oh, and there’s a new issue of the Wonder Woman comic, #8, where the villain uses a “Rope of Lies,” the opposite of her Lasso of Truth, to trick the superhero’s mind into thinking that she’s a beleaguered housewife under the rule of a cruel husband who keeps throwing malicious Bible verses at her to keep her under control. At the end, her mother helps her escape and she yells to her captor: “Your Christian god means nothing to me!” Of course, there’s a lot of right-wing clap back and one DC artist has refused to work on the issue. That doesn’t surprise anyone as it’s been their response to any challenge for the past 20 years. They don’t have any facts on their side and everyone knows it.
So, after having my nap interrupted so many times, I’m going to go take another one, short as it may be.
Today has been unpleasant as the rain continued with little abatement. I’ve not been able to rest more than 30 minutes at a time. I’ve been unable to eat, so I’ll need to force myself now. Even watching anything of length has been challenging. So, I’ve edited old pictures.
I rarely toss someone out in the rain because of the threat of lightning. Showers are a much better way of getting someone wet, but they have the problem of having perhaps the most boring background in the world. So, I went back to some different shoots, some all the way back to 2008, and fixed that problem a bit with AI. This achieves an effect we wouldn’t dare try in reality. I suppose we could have faked it, but the cost factor would be problematic. The biggest challenge here was that the 2008 shots were saved at a small 72 dpi, forcing us to upscale them. Again, the AI helps keep the image from pixelating. I hope you find them interesting.
The following pictures were taken in 2009 with the subject standing in front of a windowed door just as the sun was rising. One can see how the light changes color tone as the photos progress. The photos were initially dark and any attempt to lighten them introduced too much noise to make them useable. With improvements in technology, we were able to go back and reprocess the images in a more appropriate fashion.
Here it is St. Patrick’s Day and for the second year in a row, there’s no Guinness in the house. No Jameson, either. Not every holiday comes with drink requirements, but this one does and it feels wrong to not be able to partake. Not even a shot. This is just another one of the things that goes with being on chemo. I’ve mentioned it before, I know. If we were having corned beef for lunch today, that might help, but we’re not. Corned beef costs far too much for our budget, especially when considering how much of it we have to cook to keep the kids pleased. Five pounds is barely enough for the kids.
When cancer treatment starts, it’s easy to think, “I got this. We’ll make it through. No problem.” The longer treatment continues, though, and the side effects get worse, not better, and you miss being around your friends, and you begin to feel the weight of the treatment as an emotional burden, the more difficult it is to hold onto any kind of hope. I keep telling myself, “Maybe next year.” Maybe. Who knows what might happen over the next 365 days? There are no promises that the backside of treatment won’t leave me with lingering side effects. There are no promises that as one treatment ends another becomes necessary.
This is where the depression kicks in. Every day, there is something that you’re missing, something you want to do and can’t. Dance a jig? I never have been a dancer, but trying such a thing now would land me on my butt. Go to a burlesque show? Sorry, I can’t stay out that late. Bingo night with the other old folks? I don’t dare. They might be contagious.
At least I have coffee. The day they take that away from me, I’ll have no choice but to die.
The problem of archived digital photographs is coming to bear in a painful way. The above photo was taken with a five-megapixel Canon 5D. In 2005, it was the best in its class for digital SLRs. One of the promises of digital photography was supposed to be that we could return to them at any time and re-process them without damaging the negative. That’s proving not necessarily to be the case.
JPEG artifacts are the problem. Or maybe it is software that doesn’t accommodate how formats were written to disc 20 years ago. Whatever the issue may be, I’m finding that trying to fix the color in old images, which is a frequent necessity, is difficult. This morning, it’s the red channel that won’t cooperate. There are places where original settings can’t be changed or improved. The data can’t be overwritten.
Part of the problem may be that I no longer have the original RAW file. In theory, I shouldn’t have as many color issues working from the original. However, this photo was processed from an uncompressed TIFF file which should contain all the same digital information as the RAW file. This has me concerned that our digital files may not have the archival longevity that we had hoped.
I need some things from the store but no one currently in the house can drive, there’s not a car available if they could, and delivery isn’t an option. Maybe this time next year.
![One With The Night [original 2008 modified with neural filters]](https://i0.wp.com/www.charlesiletbetter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/JackieFigure20-scaled.jpg?resize=2048%2C2560&ssl=1)
We survived the Ides of March without any Roman emperors being assassinated. To me, that sounds like a wasted opportunity. If we’re going to recognize the day, we should do so with parades and parties where the stabbing of politicians is the main event. This would take a lot of pressure off the electoral process and give those in elected office the incentive to behave in such a manner that they need not fear a group of people, particularly close friends, heading toward them with knives.
For the first time in several years, it looks as though we’re not having corned beef for St. Patrick’s Day. The meat has gotten too expensive for anyone who is not a politician to consume. Politicians and corned beef have a lot in common. Both contain a lot of fat, are greasy to the touch, and are best when a knife is stuck in them. I wonder how many people would attend a party where the corned beef was labeled as Roast Republican?
We will have potatoes in some form on St. Patrick’s Day. We won’t have dug them ourselves, though. We’ll have paid immigrants to do that. You know, like we did the Irish in the 1840s. During that decade, Irish people, both documented and undocumented, made up over half of all immigrants to the US. They were given only the toughest jobs to do and then told to go fight the Mexicans. Nothing’s changed.
Funny, I haven’t heard a thing about today’s St. Pat’s parade in downtown Indy. They moved it to today so that it wouldn’t interfere with the hangover mass on Sunday. This is a special mass because the incense smells like corned beef and cabbage. They do this so you can’t tell which priest was brawling at the bar all night.
Perhaps leprechauns were the original social services gatekeepers: they both sit on a pot of gold and don’t want to share with anyone.
As a person of indigenous heritage, I don’t necessarily hate immigrants of European heritage. I simply think they need to be reminded that they stole the land, the jobs, and the economy long before those coming over the Southern border did. Perhaps we should have electrified the Atlantic Ocean or something in the 16th century.
Coming Face-To-Face With Mortality
Cancer sucks. Chemo isn’t much better. And between the two, one quickly realizes that, even with all the medical assistance available, living another 90 years probably isn’t happening. As a result, I’ve started thinking hard about what I’d like to do before I die. You know, those pie-in-the-sky items that were never urgent until I realized I might not get to do any of them if I don’t say anything. The result is this bucket list.
I posted the first five on Facebook a few days ago and will be posting the others there later today. However, the formatting on FB doesn’t really give me a chance to provide detail for individual items. I also am keenly aware that numbering the entries establishes an implied priority that isn’t necessarily true. Of the twenty items below, only the first two are extremely important. The first is because many of the others can’t happen until that one is achieved. The second is not really in my control at all. I don’t know that any of my kids will have children and it’s not my place to push them to do so.
All the others are arbitrary regarding an order. 19 can come before 3. 14 can happen most any time. What’s more important is that they be approached realistically, not haphazardly. If I’m going to do something, it needs to create a positive experience, not a disaster.
Hence, the reason for this post. I want to do more than present a list. I want to look at the cost, the obstacles, and any prerequisites for achieving them. Be aware that any pricing provided is an estimate and is subject to change. Economic and political factors may also contribute to the degree to which some bucket list items are possible at any given time.
Without any further rhetoric, here’s the full list.
All New Photography Equipment
This is at the very top of the list because a fair number of the other items require this one to be completed. I can’t take pictures anywhere of anyone if I don’t have a camera and related equipment, and currently, I have nothing except my phone.
This isn’t going to be cheap and I’ll need a lot of help. I’ve started a wish list on Amazon, but it’s still incomplete and, honestly, I’d rather purchase from Roberts since they’re local. The current price for everything I have on the list is roughly $9060.55 plus tax. However, the list only includes one lens and we all know that’s not going to be enough. There’s also going to be the issue of padded containers to carry everything safely. This isn’t going to be cheap, but it’s necessary.
Grandchildren
Of all the items on this list, this is the only one over which I have absolutely no control. I have five kids, two of which are still young teens. Of the three that are already adults, only one has expressed any desire for offspring.
As much as I adore babies and would love to have a dozen grandkids, it’s not my choice. I cannot and would not attempt to force any of my kids to procreate. Bringing another child into the world is a huge decision and it’s not my call to make.
However, you can be quite sure that I will throw one helluva party if/when it ever happens.
Compose and Conduct
This one has two separate pieces and could get quite pricey the longer it’s delayed.
The first part is composition. In theory, this part should be cheap, only the cost of staff paper, which I can get on Amazon for only $10. However, my brain doesn’t work as well as it did 40 years ago. Composing needs a lot of help. So, toss in all the digital equipment necessary to make the required demo, and we’re looking at a price tag of around $10K.
Then comes the orchestra part. Ideally, if the composition is strong and the demo is good, we could convince an orchestra to include it as part of their regularly scheduled performances. However, if I’m the only one who likes it (which happens), then I’d have to rent the entire ensemble. The cost for that, based on today’s union prices, is around $60,000 for a single performance.
Calais, France
I’m thankful to be quite familiar with my indigenous heritage. What we didn’t know until a few years ago, however, is that Grandpa Slover’s family can be traced all the way back to at least 15th-century Calais, France, where they were teachers and, quite criminally, protestants in a country run by Catholics.
I’d love to visit Calais with enough time to deeply explore this minority portion of our family roots. Pricing this, though, is perilous. Round trip from IND can be anywhere from $1,000 to $31,000 based on current pricing. Hotels are reasonably around $100 a night and food and ancillary items for a month are going to run around $4,000.
Baby horses
No one who knows me at all should be surprised that horses are somewhere on this list. Were I younger, I’d want to own a dozen rescue horses. But at my age, that’s just foolish.
Instead, what I’d like to do is spend a foaling season (February to March in most cases) on a large horse rescue, taking pictures of all the newborns. Rescue horses are special, typically having endured very rough lives before being snatched from a slaughter pen. When a rescue mare breeds, the foals are especially meaningful. I want to be there to capture all the details and love on the horses. Bonus points if they’re draft breeds.
Taking The Train
I’ve been in love with trains almost from the moment I was born. Grandpa Slover worked for the now-defunct Rock Island Railway and I remember taking the train to go visit him.
Given the current climate of air travel, I much prefer taking the train rather than flying. The idea of going from New York to LA on the train, taking pictures all along the way, is an exciting thought.
How much would it cost? There’s some flexibility here, but generally speaking, around $3k per person, plus food. For practical and safety reasons, I’d need to take someone with me, so double that price.
RV Travel
This is one that Kat and I have talked about for a long time. We both love to travel and leasing an RV and touring the country, me taking pictures, her doing hair and makeup, is a desirable adventure for both of us.
Taking a full year, though? That could be challenging. We certainly can’t do it until the kids are done with school and capable of taking care of themselves. Even then, we don’t know what Kat’s salon situation might be.
RV rentals don’t work the same as car leasing. To be on the road for a full year, we’d likely have to rent at least four different vehicles. The cost would run around $1,500 a month plus expenses.
Where’s the Beach?
There are times when it’s nice to travel without the pressure of having to take pictures for a client. An all-inclusive Caribbean resort has been on my list for a long time but has yet to happen.
Pricing fluctuates a lot but going this time of year, March-April offers some pretty good pricing with many under $500/person for a two-week stay.
There are some caveats. Political forces weigh heavily on any travel to the Caribbean. At the moment, Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and Haiti all come with significant risks. Aruba, Turks & Cacaos, and other southern islands are more hospitable.
Paris Fashion Week
I could never do a fashion week anywhere as a tourist. My shutter finger would get itchy. If I’m going to go, it’s with a camera in hand, and if I have a camera, I want to be backstage, not in the pit, armpit-to-armpit with every other photographer.
Of all the shows, my strong preference would be to shoot Dior. Maria Grazia Chiuri has done wonderful things with the line since taking over in 2016. Getting in, though, is more about having the right connections, and I don’t have them anymore. Neither are fashion designers known for charitable attitudes towards photographers. This one could be quite a stretch.
Not-even-supporting cast
Everyone wants to be a movie star, but that’s a dream for the young. At this point in life, my only realistic shot is in a low-paying walk-on role.
I’ll take it, especially if it’s one that is critical to moving the plot along. I don’t need a lot of lines, because my memory isn’t reliable. Just toss me in there for a minute, and then make me disappear. Bonus points if I can save the heroine in the process.
I’m not looking for anything that warrants an IMDb listing, just something that creates fun stories to tell after the fact.
Comfortable Dining
I’ve had the pleasure of eating in some very nice restaurants over the course of the past 60 years. However, even if I was dining on someone else’s tab, I’ve always worried about how much my meal cost and whether I was imposing on my host.
For example, St. Elmo’s Steakhouse, right here in Indy, is one of the top-rated restaurants in the country. I’ve never been. Why? A steak can cost as much as $135, ala carte. The full meal, with wine, is going to run around $300 per person. My mind has difficulty accepting that I could ever be worth that level of expense.
I’d love for that to change.
Drag Karaoke
I know either Kat or me, if not both, have friends who can help make this one happen. This is not your average drag show, though. Think “America’s Got Talent,” but in drag, and all the acts are done karaoke style. If you don’t think that would be a wildly fun evening, you’ve lived too sheltered a life.
I want to host the show, but not produce it. I’m not that talented. And we need top-notch judges, not some random person pulled off the street or the producer’s second cousin who took a music class once in college. Make it worthwhile for everyone and let’s have fun!
Queer Weddings
As a photographer, I hate weddings. They’re a pain in the backside with too little reward. As an officiant, though, they can be a lot of fun. I watched Poppa perform weddings everywhere from our living room to the school gymnasium. Only once did anything go terribly wrong (the bride fainted… twice).
I’m ordained (Church of the Latter-Day Dude), which makes it perfectly legal in like 46 of the 50 states. And given how much they’re under political attack, I’d love to perform dozens upon dozens of weddings for people in the LGBTQ+ community. They have just as much a right to eternal misery as the rest of us.
I’m cheap as long as there’s free food involved. Let’s make this happen!
Farrier For Hire
First off, the name is misspelled in the image. It’s fArrier, not fErrier.
Second, this one may be a genuine pipe dream. To become a licensed farrier, one has to complete a four-year apprenticeship. It’s like going to college all over again, and it cost about as much.
Would it be worth the time and expense? Hell yeah! Do I have the time to justify the expense? Probably not. I could reasonably take a horseshoeing class and become certified in just that aspect, but a lot of draft horses, which I love, have more advanced hoof problems, especially if their rescues. This is a tough one.
Solo Exhibition
We need to do this again, in some place that actually matters. Solo exhibitions are tough to come by, and getting one in a gallery that actually attracts collectors is even more difficult. Once again, it’s not so much cost as it is connections that make something like this happen.
But I don’t just want a simple photography exhibit. I’ve been bored by too many of those. Let’s get real with some artistic eroticism that pushes the envelope of the definition. I’ve been sitting on several images that NO ONE has seen. To be able to share them in a place of prominence would be an indescribable thrill.
Whip It Good
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had a five-foot bullwhip and was getting pretty damn good with the thing. I was 10. I’ve no idea what happened to it. It just disappeared. I blame parental fear.
I don’t believe in whipping animals. There are better means of controlling them that are more humane.
Humans, however, are a different story. Some of them ask for it, which requires just the right touch to keep from inflicting serious harm. And then, there’s the crafty ability to use a whip to disarm a person. That could come in quite handy.
A good 12-foot hand-braided whip is going to run around $1,450ish. Worth it.
Sail Away With Me
This one is all about merging my fascination with boating and photography. If we’re going to do it, let’s get some heart-stopping images out of it.
Cost is going to be the overwhelming factor here. The average price for yacht rental out of Miami is roughly $2,200/day. We might get a slightly better rate renting one for an entire month, but we’re still looking at something north of $60K.
And then, there are the models. Just go ahead and double the cost. At least. The joy of the trip might help keep rates down, but at the end of the day, everyone has bills to pay.
The potential for incredible pictures, though, makes it worth every dime. Maybe I could sell sponsorships (as if I knew how).
A Bestseller
My books don’t sell in large numbers and, to some extent, I’m okay with that. The exception is when I think I have something wonderful and no one pays any attention. A Path in the Storm is a good example. I consider this to be among the best things I’ve ever written. It’s also a helluva lot cheaper than the photo books. However, to date, it’s only sold four copies, and three of those were mine.
Just once, I’d love to see one of my books get the attention it deserves and blow the top off the best-seller charts. That doesn’t just happen, though. There are entire PR teams involved. I can’t afford those.
Maybe if everyone I’ve ever known bought a copy, we could start a grassroots movement.
A National Holiday
Coming of age around Tahlequah, Oklahoma was a unique experience. It was there I learned a great deal about my indigenous heritage and grew to appreciate all my ancestors had sacrificed.
But I never was able to attend the National Holiday. The event is held annually on Labor Day weekend in September, and in the 1970s, involved a lot of drinking. A High School classmate was killed because of a drunk driver leaving the celebration in 1977.
Things have changed dramatically since those days, and for the better. I would love to return and photograph the entire weekend, but since I’m not a tribe member (there’s a reason), I would need permission to do so. I know I have the contacts. It just needs to happen.
The End
I think the question almost everyone has at some point is “How will I be remembered?” What stories will be told? Will anyone care that I’m gone?
My final bucket list item, which I’m in no hurry to get achieve, is to be remembered in a way that is positive and enduring. I want people to smile when they think of the time we spent together, and I want those who missed out to feel sad that they won’t get the opportunity.
There’s no price on this one. It’s all up to me.
Real artists are not being replaced by machines just yet
I know I’m not the only person who is a wee bit disturbed by the current popularity of the Lensa app which has people giving this relatively unknown company multiple photos of themselves so that their AI bots can work magic. Lensa is owned by the software company Prisma, based in Sunnyvale, CA. The app was first launched in 2018 as a digital background remover (the one thing it does reasonably well) and recent additions have marketed it as a selfie-improvement app. And the Internet, being as vain as it has always been, was quick to notice. Lensa was the #2 most-downloaded app in the US this past week.
HOWEVER, AI isn’t perfect and we’re not seeing all the images that the app creates. One dear friend was brave enough to share one of Lensa’s less-than-stellar results.
Mangled fingers, crossed eyes, and a chunk missing from her left arm are just the most noticeable problems with the AI-produced image. [Significantly better pictures of Shannon are in my book, We Did It In The Tub. Click the link to purchase your copy!]
AI is flashy and new and easy to use without knowing a damn thing about digital imagery. I understand why it’s so popular. As I was discussing with a friend who just happens to be a therapist (she was a friend first), artists have had to deal for centuries with the vanity of people not wanting their portraits to look “too real.” We want what we perceive to be our flaws covered or masked or, at the very least, diminished to the point no one notices them. Portraits of world leaders from the 14th century and beyond can hardly be considered authentic because being too accurate could cause an artist their job, or possibly even their life! What the AI is doing isn’t new, just faster!
So, how do we respond to this challenge? I can only answer for myself and thanks to the effects of that lovely chemo pill I’m taking my answer has to be brief. Let me show you how an image progresses in my hands. We’ll start with one from 2009. Here’s the original RAW image:
The image was shot using natural light relatively late on a summer afternoon. This is real. If we’re being totally honest with ourselves, there’s nothing here to not like. She’s a beautiful young woman.
Now, here’s how I originally edited this image in 2009:
One can see that, at the time, I chose to remove the puffiness under her eyes, darken her skin tone, and give just a minimal amount of balance to her flesh tone. There’s not a lot of editing here and I doubt I spent more than 30 minutes with the image.
Now, what happens when I drop the same image into the current version of Photoshop with all its built-in AI tools and let them run havoc over the whole thing? I couldn’t bring myself to show anyone that original image. It was a mess! Her features were completely blurred, the new background was totally inappropriate for the image, and the highlights were completely blown out. Nope, you’re not seeing that one.
However, when Photoshop drops a bomb like that, the image is still recoverable! All the effects are added in layers, so each piece can be manipulated until one achieves a suitable image. Is the process fast? Oh hell, no! My sick ass spent roughly four hours fixing that mess. Here’s the end result:
I’m still not sure what’s going on with that background. While it’s better than the first one, it gives the appearance that she’s a giant floating among the trees, or something of that nature. I’m also reasonably sure that the dear girl in question has never worn that much makeup, or at least not that color, in her life. While I know who it is, I doubt facial recognition software would identify her. At this point, this is a picture of a different person.
Okay, that’s one image. But would the results be the same with one that was, let’s say, shot in the studio? Well, let’s find out. Here’s a raw image shot in the studio in 2010.
I only processed one image from this series before now, so I don’t have a comparison shot to show you. I turned AI look with the basic “clean up” of the image, removing background spots and noise. Here’s how it handled that task:
Uhm, okay. The ways it “softened” her features really aren’t acceptable, in my opinion, but for the sake of the experiment, I’ll let it go. For now. The photo is still rather bland, though, so I let AI select a background for the image. Here’s how that went:
Ugh. Holy perspective, Batman! There’s a giantess in the middle of the road! The sun is still behind her (allegedly) and there’s no shadow!I Shadows are something AI seems to struggle with quite often. I did some work on the perspective by hand and then let AI take over once more. I gave it instructions to change her hair and eye color and to make the image more electric. The results returned required a lot of intervention, especially in blending the various layers. Four hours and a nap later, here are the final results:
Well … at least you can see the “electric” part. But who is that person? I am not sure how to begin describing everything going on in this image! And once again, the model is indistinguishable in this presentation. I know I wouldn’t want this thing floating around as something I’d done by hand! This is … something less than acceptable.
The one photo from this series that I processed, looks like this:
I assume you can see and appreciate the difference.
Whether we like it or not, AI is going to be a part of digital photo processing. There’s no escaping it. What’s important is that we make a distinction between the real and the fake. Since “deep fakes” are already an issue, and AI is only going to complicate that realm, I won’t be surprised if at some point in the future there has to be some legally-binding declaration of authenticity on ID photos and the like.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep doing things the hard way, taking my time, fussing over this and that, and giving the AI something to watch.
Only a few understand the commitment
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Morning Update: 04/29/24
Yesterday was perfect weather to get out and do something fun. So, what did we do? We mowed. I started about 9:30 and took care of the grass outside the fence. The kids “took over” for a while, and then four hours later I finished up. Four hours. Have you seen our lawn? It’s not that large. Sigh.
We would have done better going to a park, but that whole transportation thing…
My goal today is to be a pain in the ass of every property manager in town until I find a place that provides what little I need at a price I can afford. Yeah, I know, I’ll be asleep again by 10. But one at least needs a goal, right?
I mowed yesterday. I’m thinking now that was a stupid idea.
About this morning’s picture: Leohna was just over a year old, if I remember correctly. We were at a park and took a bunch of pictures of her playing on the swings and stuff, but it was this picture that stole my heart. While I was talking with her parents, Leohna started going through my camera bag. The face she made when she found the tea lights was just too adorable. I had a chance to reconnect with her mom last week. This baby girl is now taller than her mom and helping care for her three younger siblings. The time just passes too quickly.
Here we are at the end of April. That means the noise from our friends “next door” will start getting loud again. The RV lot on Georgetown is completely full and has been for a week. This year may actually be interesting. Penske‘s been in hot water with IRL recently as have a couple of 500 winners over how some new rules are translated. IRL‘s shot themselves in the foot before. Maybe they just like hobbling. At least IndyCar is banning political messaging from the cars. Both RFK, Jr. and the indicted one had made sponsorship requests. IndyCar said, “Nope.”
Stop and think about it: IndyCar is full of international drivers. Brazilian drivers have won the race how many times? To have cars sponsored by idiots who are on the wrong side of immigration issues would be a conflict of interest. And then, there’s always the chance of counter-messaging if the sponsored car were to crash and burn. Don’t worry, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of flags among the nutjobs out in the North 40. There always are.
So many silly thoughts running through my head this morning. Who knows what the day may yield?
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