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Personal  /  Photography
Are We Too Poor To Make A Jump
August 23, 2016
charles i. letbetter - are we too poor to jump

Sometimes, if you aren’t sure about something, you just have to jump off the bridge and grow your wings on the way down. —Danielle Steel

 

charles i. letbetter - are we too poor to make a jump

Making the jump to a new career sounds tempting, but what if you are already poor?

Kat and I were both sitting in the living room reading Sunday when I looked up and mentioned that I was having to be careful about what I read. Too many articles and books and studies pique my interests. I could jump down any number of rabbit holes and waste untold hours of time chasing a topic that has no application to anything I do. The problem is that I enjoy learning new things far too much.

“Would you like to go back to college?” she asked. The expression on her face told me she was serious. That’s Kat, though. She’s all about tackling challenges head on, embracing one’s passion and hanging on as tight as possible.

I gave her my standard set of excuses. I wouldn’t know what to study. My GPA is too low. Most importantly, I don’t see the benefit of going $60,000 or more in debt at a point in my life where I’m not likely to ever earn enough to pay it back.

We are, by government standards,  poor. No, we’re not destitute, but the last thing we have the money to pursue is some random jump into a career or field of study that may prove to be impossible. Our general situation improves only with the careful management of our limited funds.  Chasing other interests is a fantasy.

When To Jump

Earlier this month, the Huffington Post started a new section specifically aimed at people pondering some of the same questions I ponder. The description of the section sounds appealing:

When to Jump™ is a community dedicated to exploring the fundamental question we all think about: when is the right time to go do what you really want to be doing? HuffPost has partnered with When to Jump founder Mike Lewis to curate the stories and ideas of people who left something comfortable to chase a passion. Whatever your jump may be, this is the place to help inspire you to make it.

The stories have headlines that sound incredibly encouraging. This Would-Be Doctor Switched Paths To Help People In An Entirely Different Way.  How A Former Pre-Med Student Found Another Way To Build Healthy Communities. I Left My Successful Career as a Doctor to Become an Art Student.

Wait, are you noticing what I’m noticing? There’s a trend here, at least early in the community’s inception, to focus on those abandoning the medical field. Reading through these three articles, I could feel happy for each person’s story. They took the risk, made the jump, and it worked. Yay them! I couldn’t help noticing, though, that these people come from a much higher socio-economic class than I do.  Financial challenges have a much different meaning for them than it does for me. For the OB/GYN cum art student, there didn’t seem to be any severe challenge beyond her own self-doubts.

Is this whole career jumping just for the affluent? Thousands of people my age who lose their jobs to acquisitions and mergers, economic downsizing, or technological advancement are told to “make the jump” into something they love doing. But when each month is a challenge to keep the lights burning making a blind jump into something that could, at least for a moment, involve a substantial investment, that move isn’t so attractive.

Let’s All Be Astrophysicists

Over the past few years, I’ve taken quite an interest in astrophysics. Neil deGrasse Tyson has done a great job of making this incredibly complicated field of study seem relatable and even obtainable. Being an astrophysicist sounds like an incredible amount of fun, even if the amount of math is intense. I’m sure I would do better with math now than I did back in 9th grade. I think I could come to love astrophysics.

I’ve had arguments similar to this before, though. Back in 1988, I was all in turmoil over whether to go back to school and get my master’s degree in something music related or chasing this photography thing and seeing where it took me.   We know how that debate ended. Finances played a large role in that decision, too. Photography meant having a paycheck right then, even if it was small. Going back to school meant not knowing if there would ever actually be a paycheck. In the end, the decision wasn’t all that difficult. Paycheck wins.

This takes me back to the article from a couple of weeks ago, Stop Doing What You Love. I might really like astrophysics from an amateur perspective, but does it really make sense to jump into the field with any hopes of being successful? Probably not. In addition to all the cost for additional education and tutors, there’s the fact I would be well into my 60s before achieving the level of education necessary to become employable. Better I stick with what I’m good at doing.

Stuck To The Ground

Personally, I don’t even  know if I really want to jump. I still love photography. I’m not yet done taking all the pictures I want to take. As I look into the future of the profession, I cannot help but wonder if my days are numbered. Once everyone can take pictures with the contact lying on their eye my usefulness decreases considerably, Imagining a day when there are no more professional photographers isn’t terribly difficult.

But to jump requires having money. Money to go back to school. Money for equipment and books and materials. Then, there’s that matter of paying bills, feeding a family, while in the course of such a jump. When people have some kind of financial backstops, those worries are not so large. For those who have none, however, such concerns are a roadblock.  We have to take care of our families first. Making a jump may put our careers at risk, but we can’t put our families and their well-being at risk. We’re stuck.

Such is the way our country works, though. Anything is possible if you have money. If you don’t, those who do go out of their way to make you feel like a burden on society, no matter how hard one works or how hard they try to fit in. Being poor removes one ability to jump.

I don’t expect anything to change. I might investigate the choices a bit, but I’ll see a price tag and probably back off the idea of making a jump. After all, I’m not a doctor or  pre-med student. They get to jump. The rest of us just dance in place. Our feet are too poor to leave the ground.

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Advertising  /  Fashion  /  PotD
Will You Look Good When You Die
August 23, 2016
charles i. letbetter - will you look good when you die

If you don’t look good, we don’t look good. —Vidal Sassoon

 

charles i. letbetter - will you look good when you die

We can’t control when we’re going to die, so perhaps we should make sure we look good all the time.

I looked in the mirror the other day and wondered just who that person was staring back at me. Kat had just cut my hair, but my beard, which is now nothing more than a bib of gray at the bottom of my face, was still long and a bit ragged. I see that image, especially with my shoulders slightly slumped, and I don’t think I look good. Kat says I’m being preposterous but I know she’s biased. I think I look more like a retired Canadian logger in search of a plaid shirt.

I’m not the only one who wants to look good. Even when we say we don’t care, more often than not we do. The entire fashion industry exists not just because we need to get dressed, something we discussed yesterday, but we want to look good when wearing those clothes. In fact, we depend on clothes to make us look good because you’re not confident that we look good without them. As a result, we wander from retailer to retailer, searching from one label to the next, trying to find that look that makes us more attractive.

Here’s the question of the morning, though: are all our efforts to improve our appearance ultimately futile? How many people woke up this morning, put on their favorite ensemble, and are then killed on their way to work? It happens. Every day. When might it be my turn?

Can that existentialist angst be used to sell more clothes?

A Fatalistic Approach To Advertising

I was looking through new ads this morning, because I like the creativity found in them, and I discovered this piece from BBDO Dubai. Before I say anything more about it, just imagine this popping up in the middle of your favorite program:

As if the title alone shouldn’t cause some concern, the moment the ad tells us that the universe is not our mother and doesn’t really love us we’re in dangerous territory. The ad goes on to pretty much sum up how all of us feel at one point or another:  Life sucks and no one gives a shit. Then, just to end the commercial on a low note, the ad ends with the attractive young couple, apparently too bored with life to bother getting out of  the car, get plowed by a speeding train.

Oh look, the pretty young couple is dead. Does anyone want to go shopping?

No, it’s not your imagination. The whole concept is rather morose, at least in one sense. Consider who the audience is for this commercial, though. Centrepoint is a Middle Eastern retailer. They have no stores in the EU or US. Their primary customer lives with a reality that most Westerners can’t begin to comprehend: Life can be disappointingly short. They live in a world where going to a friend’s wedding can get you killed. Unexpected moments of death surround them. So, why not make sure you look good when that 14-year-old kid running through the party detonates a bomb?

Leave A Good-looking Corpse

The picture above is one of my favorite exhibition pieces. The saying is well known across Indiana: “Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse.” Folks in these parts want to attribute the saying to James Dean, but the origins actually go back much further, all the way to 1855, if one is really interested. From it’s beginning, though, the sentiment has been the same, that the younger generation was too shallow, too concerned with looking good. I had to laugh when I found an 1870 use of the phrase directed toward “electrified Americans.” That damn electricity is going to be the ruin of us all.

I had to laugh when I found an 1870 use of the phrase directed toward “electrified Americans.” That damn electricity is going to be the ruin of us all.

All the way through history, though, the phrase is directed toward the bourgeois

Dressing For Death

Still, if we’re honest, life is frighteningly uncertain no matter where one lives. I couldn’t help notice over the weekend that there were three different Interstate accidents involving more than 20 cars each. With each pile-up there were deaths. We don’t like to think about it, but almost certainly none of the victims got into their vehicles that morning with any thought that this might be their last road trip. Death happens.

Does it really matter how we look when we die?  Going back to the commercial, one has to assume that getting trashed by a train probably isn’t going to have a good effect on that well-tailored suit he was wearing. Those expensive hair styles probably wouldn’t look so wonderful when caked in blood. If one dies through unexpectedly violet means what one is wearing becomes rather irrelevant.

We like to think we look good in our final minutes, though. Even if no one sees us. Even if no one cares.

 

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Art  /  Photography
Showing Some Respect For The Photographs
August 22, 2016
charles i. letbetter - show some respect for the photographs

Respect is what we owe; love, what we give. —Philip James Bailey

 

charles i. letbetter - showing some respect to the photography

There are pictures everywhere on the Internet now but few are getting any respect

When one visits the Louvre, there are certain rules one must follow. Actually, there are a lot of rules one must follow. No smoking, drinking, eating, raising your voice, touching artworks, or running in the museum exhibition rooms. The museum houses some of the world’s most fantastic pieces of art and curators there are adamant that guests respect the art. They even put up signs to remind visitors how to act. They look like this:

charles i. letbetter - showing some respect for the photograph

Louvre mode d’emploi – Respecter les collections

There are times when I wish I could put a similar label on my photographs. I find it interesting that when a photographer puts any kind of identifying or security mark, such as a watermark, on their photographs people complain that the mark “interrupts the aesthetic value of the picture.” At the same time, though, those same people fail to show any respect for the photograph in the way it is treated and displayed. Comments are brutal and insulting without having any knowledge of  all the photographer went through to create that image.

The Internet, and especially social media, thrives on photography. Whether professional or amateur, the Internet needs photography and video or else it quickly becomes boring. Few people realize that early editions of the Internet didn’t have photographs. The first browsers had no way to display images. Everything was text. The Mosaic browser changed all that in 1993 and the Internet has never been the same. But with all those pictures out there, we’ve lost our respect for the pictures and the medium.

Respect The Process

Photographs appeared on the Internet a full decade before digital photography became a reasonable alternative to film. Before digital photography, the path from camera to Internet was long and trying. The film had to be developed, processed, finished, and then scanned into a digital format. Scanning was unreliable and often multiple scans had to be created before a usable copy was obtained. It was the fallacies of those early scans that necessarily gave rise to tools such as Photoshop.  The digital image had to receive further processing and editing to make it ready for online use. Weeks could pass before a  photograph was ready.

Today, even professional cameras come wi-fi equipped so that a photographer can instantly publish a photo to Instagram or other application if they desire. Still, that immediacy does not take away from the skill, talent, and effort the photographer put into that photo. More involved photographs, such as the ones at the top of this page, can take several hours over the course of multiple days before they are ready for public exposure. Months of planning may take place before the frame is even snapped. Nothing about a professional photograph is easy or accidental.

Respect for the process shows respect for the hours of training, the multiple specializations brought to bear, the difficulty of knowing which adjustments to make  and when a line has been crossed. Just because one can see a photo instantly after it is taken doesn’t mean that the photo is done. Raw images are seldom as perfect as they might appear on the back of a camera. A lot of hard work and creativity goes into almost every professional image.

Respect The People

One of the biggest disgraces of the Internet are those mean-spirited people we refer to as trolls. The problem has become so severe that Time magazine saw fit to devote a cover story to the topic. Writer, Joel Stein describes the problem thusly:

…if you need help improving your upload speeds the web is eager to help with technical details, but if you tell it you’re struggling with depression it will try to goad you into killing yourself. Psychologists call this the online disinhibition effect, in which factors like anonymity, invisibility, a lack of authority and not communicating in real time strip away the mores society spent millennia building.

Such overwhelming disregard and complete lack of respect for both the creators and subjects of photographs is why you are not allowed to comment publicly on my pages. I would love to hear kind thoughts and might even entertain technical questions. Unfortunately, opening up comments to allow for any intelligent conversation on a topic is an open invitation to trolls who, by their very definition, don’t know how to control the tongues.

I am especially likely  to lose my temper when someone shows a lack of respect for a model. Disparaging the physical appearance of a young woman has caused me to block more than one person. I can tolerate questions about a pose or whether a highlight is out of gamut, but insult a model and were it possible to reach through the Internet and punch someone, I would.  People who risk their self-esteem and personal identity to pose in photos don’t need anyone tell them they’re too short or their head is awkwardly shaped. Shut the fuck up.

Respect The Work

Not all that long ago I would occasionally give someone a signed print as a gift. I would carefully choose a photograph, perhaps one from a set they claimed to really like, go through the trouble of additional processing necessary to pull a print, and then sign and date them for authenticity. After all that effort, only once in the past  eleven years have I seen one of those works actually hanging anywhere. Instead, they’re put in the back of closets, forgotten and unappreciated. In one instance, I found a print torn, mangled, and shoved behind a file cabinet. The recipients of those gifts not only showed disregard for the gift, but failed to show any respect for the work.

Image theft, which has been a constant problem on the Internet, also exhibits a lack of respect for the work. Doing a google search for a photograph then copying it and using it for your own purposes, whether online or in a brochure is theft and lacks respect. Failure to credit photographer in the work is another form of theft and disrespect. Cropping out the photographer’s watermark is a sign that one fails to respect the image and its source.

I would be tempted to say you wouldn’t go into the Louvre, take a picture of the Mona Lisa and then try to pass it off as your own work, but, astonishingly, I can’ t. People have so little respect even for masterworks as to think that they can claim some right to misuse whatever they see.

Respect For Everyone

Failure to show respect for others ultimately reflects back on yourself. A lack of self-respect causes a failure of respect for others. We do not value in others what we do not value in ourselves. No one is fooled. All the mean-spiritedness does not hide the self-loathing. Trolls are more transparent than they realize. Photo thieves are merely trying to make up for their own shortcomings. No one is fooled.

I don’t blame photographers who feel acrimonious about the misuse of their photos and pull back permissions. The person who posts photos on Facebook without tagging the photographer disrespects both the photo and the person who took it.  After suffering that slight more than a few times a photographer has a right to say, “No more.”

I grow tired of seeing people who know absolutely nothing about photography disrespect my work. I know many other photographers feel the same. If you enjoy the pictures a photographer presents, please say something. If you don’t, there’s no need to say anything at all. Please, respectfully, keep your mouth shut.

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Advertising  /  Fashion  /  PotD
Why Do We Get Dressed Everyday
August 22, 2016
charles i. letbetter - why do we get dressed everyday

I always say: To be well dressed you must be well naked. —Oscar de la Renta

 

charles i. letbetter - why do we get dressed everyday

A growing fashion retailer asks why we get dressed. We think that’s a damn good question.

My alarm goes off at 4:00 AM and the first thing I do is reach for my clothes. I get dressed quietly, in the dark, one of the benefits of having a monochrome wardrobe. I don’t have to worry about whether colors or patterns match. By the time I get my shoes on, though, I’m sensing a nip in the air. Checking the weather app on my phone, I see it’s only 60°F outside. I pull on the sweater draped on the back of my office chair, attach the leash to the dog’s collar, and out we go for our morning walk. 4:00 in the morning and I’m already dressed. There’s something wrong with this picture.

Chances are, especially if you live in the Midwest, you  don’t think of not getting dressed. Even when we tell people we’re not feeling well and aren’t getting dressed today, we’re still wearing something. Running around naked always sounds fun until one actually does it. Then, we discover our skin sticks to things in uncomfortable ways. Little pointy objects we’d never noticed before reach out and grab at us. The slightest breeze makes us shiver. And those damned mosquitoes are a constant nuisance. Okay, time to put on some clothes.

Fashion retailer Uniqlo, which is just starting to make serious attempts at the US market, thought this might be a good time to ask the question: Why do we get dressed? The question is at the center of their very first global ad campaign and it smartly addresses a question with which many of us wrestle every morning. Why are we doing this?

We Have Our Reasons

Whether one believes ancient mythologies of how we were created or prefers the scientific explanation of evolution, we find that we’ve been covering ourselves pretty much from the moment we learned to walk upright. Even now, high school students are taught the five main reasons we get dressed:  protection, adornment, identification, modesty, and status. We break each of those down into subcategories based on things such as tradition, social class, occupational requirements, religious intervention, and comfort. We want to look acceptable even when we’re drenched in sweat.

Fashion is a $1.2 trillion industry built on one primary concept: we need to get dressed. Different labels offer different answers to the how, what, and how much of it all, Some take the quality route. Others go for practicality. Still others are nothing more than utilitarian in their scope. Our reasons are as many and varied as the styles of underwear found in our drawers. As much as we might complain, we actually like getting dressed and can be damned picky about it.

This careful choice of clothing is what Uniqlo is trying to tap with this campaign. Despite being one of the largest fashion retailers in the world, they’ve had trouble getting a foothold in the US market. The campaign focuses on both the diversity and quality of the clothes the store carries. Here, take a look at their new ad:

https://youtu.be/AKwd_0q7-mw

Not So Easily Defined

While quality and selection are wardrobe choices are important, they’re not the only reason we choose to wear what we wear. Color, for example, not only reflects certain styles and trends but also reflects our mood and our physical condition when we get dressed.  If you’re feeling a bit depressed, you might choose to wear something pink because it cheers you up. On days you need to tackle tough situations you might choose black or a dark navy because they give you a sense of power. Maybe you just really like a particular shade of green. We all have our reasons.

Some have expressed fear in the past that fashion styles are erasing our sense of nationalistic or cultural identity. I can see where someone might feel that way. Look at the ad and one notices that, while the two main characters are both white, everyone else is Japanese. This is Uniqlo’s way of staying true to their roots in Japan.  At the same time, though, we notice that everyone is wearing a distinctly Western style of clothing. Remove any racial identity and we might have trouble discerning whether this is a scene in Japan or Moscow or Paris or Minneapolis. Large retailers do tend to create a homogenous fashion palette that leaves all the customers with a certain sameness to their look.

Shoppers have proven, though, especially in recent years, that they want more say in how they put a look together. Advertisers might style a look one way, but everyone tends to put their own individual twist on things. How we look when we’re dressed says something about us individually. Uniformity is passè and, for many, insulting. We are not likely to wear head-to-toe Chanel but a certain coat or handbag might be the perfect touch for a look pieced together from discount stores  and second-hand shops. How we put ourselves together is a complicated matter for some people.

How You Should Get Dressed

Style experts, who seem to be getting younger every time I blink, tell us to utilize the three F’s when getting dressed: Feel, fit, and flatter. Granted, that approach seems a bit simplistic if your occupation requires something specific, whether it be a suit for the boardroom or dungarees for working with heavy equipment. Such restrictions can make the flattery element challenging but if the feel and fit are on point then the look is probably going to be flattering anyway.

Fit is probably where we fail most often. As our weight fluctuates between seasons and levels of activity, we find ourselves trying to squeeze into clothes that are too tight or trying to find creative ways to hold up something that’s a touch too large. People at either end of the spectrum, either very thin or very large, have the most difficulty finding something that both fits and flatters. Retailers like Uniqlo best serve the mainstream. Anyone with special challenges can find getting dressed more like a nightmare.

Perhaps the question of why we get dressed is one we should ask more often. Too often we pull on whatever is close and convenient with no regard to even how it feels, much less fit or flatter. We all might be happier if we considered the reasons we wear what we wear. Certainly, it would make our society more interesting and less like a homogenous blur. Express yourself in what you choose to wear.

Even if you’re only wearing underwear.

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Advertising  /  Music  /  PotD
Your Music Choices Affect How Your Food Tastes
August 20, 2016

Markets change, tastes change, so the companies and the individuals who choose to compete in those markets must change. —An Wang

 

charles i. letbetter - what you hear affects your tastes

What we hear affects how we taste. So, one beer is providing its own soundtrack

Most mornings I sit here trying to be as quiet as possible so as to not wake everyone else in the house, especially the little ones. Fortunately, everyone sleeps rather soundly, so I’m able to grind beans and make coffee without disturbing anyone other than the dog, who doesn’t mind as long as I feed him first. I enjoy sitting down with that first cup of coffee in the peace and quiet of the morning. I’ve never given any consideration as to whether music might actually change how my coffee tastes. However, I’m certainly thinking that way now.

Beer maker Stella Artois released a couple of YouTube videos this week aimed at changing how we experience their beer. Partnering with The Roots, aka the band from Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight Show on NBC, the brand is throwing some science at its customers by demonstrating how music alters how their beer tastes. No kidding. This is real science. In fact, it’s just part of a larger multi-sensory project called Le Savior. They’ve already thrown multi-sensory events in Montreal and New York where the videos take center place. Unfortunately, the rest of us just have to try and re-create the experience on our own.

Do we really care enough about the subtle tastes of a beer to change our playlists? If you drink Budweiser, you could probably care less. For Stella drinkers, though, that difference can be a huge factor in their drinking experience. Turns out, sound affects our entire culinary experience. Perhaps we should investigate.

Yes, This Is Real Science

While science has taken some hard knocks among those who refuse to believe the earth is hotter than ever, the science of auditory effects on tastes is pretty solid. Yes, we actually looked it up and did some reading. I mean, just because a beer company tells us something doesn’t mean we’re going to believe it, right? Please, tell me you don’t take these campaigns at face value. What we found is that not only is the auditory impact on food tastes a serious area of study, the volume of research on the various aspects is considerable.

At the core of all this research is how sound affects our concept of sweet and salty tastes. A 2011 study,  Effect of Background Noise on Food Perception, looked at how perceptions of food differed based upon whether diners ate in silence, quiet background noise, or loud background noise. As it turns out, noise, “diminishes gustatory food properties,” ultimately affecting the tastes we perceive from the food and drink we think we’re enjoying.

In the real world, that means we need to be eating in environments that are actually quieter, not louder, if we want to really enjoy our meals. Televisions need to be shut off. Dining al fresco at a sidewalk cafe bordering a busy street probably isn’t enhancing the tastes of the food as much as we might think. All that loud kitchen noise and clanging and overly loud conversation? That’s great if a restaurant is trying to keep you distracted from how the food actually tastes. Quieter is always better.

But Silence Drives Us Nuts

Additional research, however, shows that some sounds, specifically music, can change how we feel about certain spices and especially regarding alcoholic beverages such as wine. A 2012 study published by The British Psychological Society demonstrated that subtle background music changed how subjects responded to the same wine. Think about that. Without being told they were drinking the same wine each time, subjects rated the wine differently four different times according to changes in background music. Interestingly enough, the subjects were so concentrated on the wine, they didn’t even notice cognitively that the music had changed!

With that knowledge in hand, Stella Artois employed food scientists Bompas & Parr and then worked with The Roots to come up with two different soundtracks to emphasize either the fruity sweetness or the hoppy bitterness, depending on which one might prefer. While I’ve not seen a full menu for the four-course meal severed at the Le Savior events, I assume food choices complimented whichever soundtrack was being played.

What this raises is whether dining and/or drinking experiences can be tailored based on music choices. If a restaurant plays a brass-heavy soundtrack, for example,  are the more exotic and perhaps bitter tastes of the food going to come through more than if a lighter sound were chosen? Stop and think about it for a minute. Would knowledge of what music was playing ever impact or possibly even change your choice of where to dine?

Side A Or Side B?

Getting down to the actual videos one might find the difference between the two soundtracks almost insignificant. That theme comes up often in the comments below each video and while that source is far from being authoritative on any level we cannot ignore that we’re talking about more subtle difference that not everyone notices or appreciates. No two people approach tastes in exactly the same way. Our culinary traditions and experiences color every dish and every drink we consume. Some people care about subtle difference in flavor, some don’t. That’s cool.

Below, you’ll find both videos. Unfortunately, there’s nothing visually attractive here. The video is simply a vehicle for the soundtrack. What you’ll find, though, is that side A, which is supposed to bring out the fruitier elements of the beer has an emphasis on steel drums in the midst of the rapid-fire lyrics for which the group is known. There’s less direct melody and more percussion in this track. Side B, however, which is supposed to bring out the bitterness in the beer, is heavy on brass counter-melodies. Personally, the two tracks are obviously and completely different. However, I can see where someone not specifically tuned in on the musical elements might miss the difference. Again, one’s own tastes influence the experience.

 

Changing Minds

The question remains is whether this gimmick is enough to change anyone’s opinion about Stella Artois. For all the noise about craft and premium beers in the market, there are still a lot of people who just want something cold and alcoholic. One also has to wonder how a restaurant might serve music that meets the variety of tastes among the customers. Does every meal come with its own soundtrack? How would that even work?

Still, the test is an interesting one. Listen to the soundtracks during your next snack or drink. Who knows, they might just change your mind.

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Art  /  Fashion  /  Nature  /  Photography  /  PotD
Celebrating World Photo Day 2016
August 19, 2016
charles i. letbetter - world photo day 2016

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. —Erma Bombeck

 

charles i. letbetter - world photo day 2016

Today we celebrate the joy of taking a photo, of preserving a memory, of telling a story

Welcome to World Photo Day 2016! This is a day in which we’re going to play along nicely and pretend that the organization behind this day isn’t just trying to sell their book. We like this day because it celebrates something we feel rather passionate about: photography! I mean, who doesn’t like it when someone captures a good photo of you? Granted, for some people that is excessively more difficult than for others. I will also admit that there are times, even when the photography is good, we don’t especially like how we look. I mean, that whole passport photo quote above is way too accurate.

Still, we like to celebrate World Photo Day. Mind you, we don’t celebrate because this was the day photography was invented. The date was determined based on the Daguerreotype, which showed up in 1837. Even that wasn’t really the first photo process. The first fixed-image process was the Heliotype in 1826. What this date actually celebrates, though, is your access to photography. The French government purchased the rights to the Daguerreotype on this date in 1839 and made them open to the public. This allowed for further development of the camera so that you can take selfies with your phone.

Photography has come a long way since 1839. Photography will go a lot farther. This has never been a static industry. Change is constant as someone is continually trying to find a way to take a better, more real photo. Every time someone snaps a shutter, they capture both a moment in time and a moment in photographic history.

The Joy Of A Photo

I’ve taken hundreds of thousands of photographs over the years. From the first time until today, I still get excited when I look at the finished product and find that I have captured something special. Of course, there are times when I’m the only one who thinks a particular image is special, but many of them hold a lot of meaning.

Your pictures are the same way. Sometimes the pictures we hold most dear are those that are not technically stellar. It’s that picture of someone special, or that moment that gave you an incredible feeling, or the last time you saw the person who gave you life. Photographs tell our life’s story. They mark the moments of highs and lows. They remind us that we’re human.

So, we’ve chosen a group of photos for today that spans a range of events and emotions worth remembering for different reasons. Some pictures were chosen not because of the photo itself but because of the people involved behind the scenes. Danelle French did make up for some really great make-up on several. Some are special because of where they were taken. And several are of Kat. That’s a good excuse on its own.

We’ll take more pictures. It’s not always convenient or easy, but we keep going. Some we share. Many we don’t.  What follows is a mix of both. And if you want us to take your photos, just ask!

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Current Issues  /  Fashion  /  PotD
Terrorism Gives Fashion A Shake
August 18, 2016
charles i. letbetter - terrorism gives fashion a shake

Human rights are not only violated by terrorism, repression or assassination, but also by unfair economic structures that creates huge inequalities. —Pope Francis

 

charles i. letbetter - Terrorism give fashion a shake

Recent terrorism around the world has given the fashion industry reason to worry

Western media often turns a blind eye toward problems in the East, but as radical acts of terrorism continue to grow around the world the effect comes closer to impacting our own lives every day. For fashion, one of the most critical areas of the world is Bangladesh. Only China assembles more clothing than the many garment factories here. Over 4 million people are employed in the nation’s garment industry, making it a critical economic element. We’ve expressed concern about conditions in Bangladesh before, but now matters are more critical.

Last month, terrorists attacked a cafe in Dhaka. Twenty people were killed. Among those were two Italians with connections to the fashion industry. Seven Japanese were also killed in the attack, some of whom were there on fashion business. Almost immediately, buyers started canceling trips to the city. Retail brands began calling their staffs back home.  The ripple effect sent shivers throughout the Bangladesh garment industry.

Terrorism is not new here, nor in any of the Asian countries struggling to pull themselves from Third World status. Recent attacks, however, have given international companies reason to worry more about the safety of their employees. Employees are worrying more about the safety of simply trying to get to work of the morning. As fashion’s buyers become more reluctant to visit the impact to the fashion industry begins to grow.

Reason To Be Concerned

This time last year, terrorism was a topic whispered carefully in backrooms. While care was taken to keep presentation venues safe, no one was willing to admit that any direct efforts were made to prevent any kind of attack. Then, a Paris nightclub was hit. That act of terrorism shook one of fashion’s most important cities to its core. People wanted to know that attending fashion events would be safe. No one wants to be a victim.

Since then, another attack in Paris as well as attacks in Brussels, another city with strong fashion connections, has put the topics of terrorism and security at the front of fashion discussions. As we mentioned a couple of days ago, event organizers in all four major cities have dramatically increased their security plans for this fall’s shows. Every effort will be made to keep those security factors in the background, though. No one is planning on having armed troops standing at the doors.

For garment workers in Bangladesh, those armed troops might be a welcome sight. The rise of terrorism in that country has thrown everything into turmoil and created questions about the safety of both garment workers and retailer’s representatives in the country. Should workers begin to feel unsafe going to work, production could see a significant decrease. If buyers refuse to travel to the country, orders decline. Without retailer’s representatives keeping an eye on factories, working conditions are likely to deteriorate again. There is a lot that could be lost.

Everyone Is Affected

For those of us in the US especially, it is still very easy to dismiss terrorism when it occurs elsewhere in the world. Yes, we “Stand With Paris,” and sympathize with Brussels, but beyond the reach of social media, we don’t see those events touching  our daily lives. Our stores are still full, our prices are still low. We’re happy and completely oblivious to the dangers others face. That naivitè may be short-lived, however.

Start with the very fabrics necessary to create clothes. Much of the weaving and looming of natural fabrics is done in places where terrorism is nearly a daily occurrence, from Afghanistan to the Sudan to Third World parts of Asia. Here, terrorism threatens to disrupt the supply chain, keeping Western visitors out while preventing textile factories from being able to run at full production. As production falls, prices begin to increase.

Then, when assembly factories such as those in Bangladesh are affected, the very availability of clothes is threatened. Fast fashion retailers such as H&M are especially vulnerable to terrorism as disruptions both in ordering and supply chain threatens the regular arrival of new clothes on their store floors. Inevitable price increases threaten the already razor-thin margins that allow discount retailers to stay profitable. Another major disruption could cause holiday profits to disappear with price increases.

Responding Appropriately

Anytime terrorism raises its ugly head we face the question as to how to appropriately respond. Corporate statements carry little weight as they are carefully crafted so as to not offend anyone or commit to anything that might affect their bottom line.  Individuals assume that there’s nothing they can do beyond keeping victims “in their thoughts and prayers.” We leave it up to governments to handle the official response and assume they’ll do the right thing.

They don’t. Towns in France that ban Burkinis, Muslim swimwear that keeps a woman fully covered, are only adding to the problem, not solving it. Terrorism thrives on recruiting disaffected and marginalized people who feel betrayed by the society and government of which they long to be a part. Any time we respond in fear, any time we limit the rights of any marginalized group, we are feeding terrorism. The not-quite-under-your-breath remark made when passing someone wearing a turban helps feed terrorism. Getting Arab-looking people tossed off airplanes just because of their appearance is feeding terrorism. Supporting xenophobic politicians threatening to ban entry to the United States is feeding terrorism.

Higher prices and fewer choices are the price we will ultimately pay for terrorism against the fashion industry. With the luxury market already taking some severe hits the past two years, any additional decline could see retailers cutting back on inventory, orders dropping, labels making cuts, quality suffering, and prices jumping dramatically. What we say and how we treat people can have a much larger  effect than we realize.

Terrorism isn’t going to stop overnight. More attacks will happen. Much of what happens we cannot prevent no matter what we do. Power-mad ideological extremists don’t employ reason when determining their actions. We can keep those attacks from changing how we respond to people, though. We must care more about people now than we ever have. Fashion is good at caring. We just need to emphasize those actions a lot more.

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Nature  /  Personal  /  Status
Weathering Persistent Weather
August 16, 2016

Nature is so powerful, so strong. Capturing its essence is not easy – your work becomes a dance with light and the weather. It takes you to a place within yourself. —Annie Leibovitz

 

charles i. letbetter - weathering persistent weather

weather is taking its toll and the forecast is looking grim.

Holding the dog’s leash in my hand, I check the current weather conditions one more time before we walk out the door. “High chances for tornadoes and severe storms,” the app says. I look at the dog as I put on my hat. We’ve made these early morning walks in the rain the past two days. He doesn’t seem to mind all that much.

I open the back door and we step out. The dog instantly puts his nose to the air and takes a big sniff. A cat has taken shelter under the carport during the night and he looks to see if the poor creature is still there. It’s not. We step away from the house and are met be a stronger-than-usual wind. He stops and sniffs the air again then turns and looks at me as if to say, “One of us is fucking crazy.”

“Let’s get this over with,” I tell him. He turns around and heads for the sidewalk. He knows the routine. I hardly need to hold the leash. There’s nothing falling on us this morning, but that wind is eery and brings the fragrance of storms from across the horizon. I’d like to say this weather sucks, but that would just be stating the obvious. Besides, it’s going to get worse.

Weather Has A Hold On Me

The Old Farmer’s Almanac released its winter forecast last week. That forecast is a climatological event that makes the folks at NOAA jealous. According to the Almanac, which claims an 80% accuracy rate, we’re in for a colder and wetter winter than we’ve seen in quite a while. Buy an extra snowplow if you live in the Northeast. Here in the Midwest, ya’ might want to buy an extra shovel and a lot of salt. This one could get nasty.

Of course, the Almanac’s forecast is exactly the opposite from what NOAA is saying. According to the so-called professionals, we’re looking at drier and warmer conditions than normal. Whether that weather news is positive or negative depends on what one considers normal. If the baseline is 45°F, then a degree or two warmer isn’t bad at all. Rather nice. However, if the baseline is -10°F then a couple of degrees warmer doesn’t make a lick of difference.

Yeah, I pay an inordinate amount of attention to the weather. I always have. When yesterday’s storms hit, I sent the kids and animals into the bathroom for protection. Then, I went outside and watched. I’m told that’s an Okie thing. I learned it from my father. You can’t trust the sirens. You need to see the funnel for yourself, then  you take cover. I didn’t see the funnel. The weather system stayed to our West and North.  We barely got a sprinkle.

With Weather Comes Pain

With this morning’s rain, we have now had precipitation for the past seven days straight. Fortunately, we’re not flooding like Louisiana has. Our rains have been light for the most part. While walking across the lawn feels like stepping on a wet sponge, we’re not in danger of needing to be rescued. The situation could be a lot worse.

Yet, for me, we’re nearing a breaking point. Such weather is hard on my arthritis any time it occurs. Having endured it for seven days straight now, I’m ready to scream. There’s no way to describe the amount of pain that has built up across my body. Neither is there any amount of pain killer that addresses that problem without making me lethargic and unproductive. I can either stay awake and deal with a limited range of motion, or go to bed and get absolutely nothing done. I can tell you now, no editing is getting done today.

So, I look at the two competing long-range forecasts and wonder: do I bother trying to put together a photography project for the winter? I don’t want to get people excited about a concept and then not be able to follow through. If NOAA is correct, then there’s no problem. We can probably shoot all winter long. If the Old Farmer’s  Almanac is correct, though, then I’ll hardly leave the house all winter. I know who  has the better track record. This isn’t looking good.

Weather-Driven Planning

What I need is a creative art director who can grab hold of a concept and find ways to make sure we pull it off no matter what the weather. There’s no way I’m going to be successful on my own.  I need help, but it has to be that kind of creative help that knows how to guard against Murphy’s Law. When the weather is in charge of the planning, there’s no doubt that things will go wrong. I need someone who can recruit models, find locations, handle styling, and create backups so that once we set a date we know something creative is going to happen.

I don’t have that person, though. Kat’s school schedule is too demanding for such activities. I’d offer to take applications but I’m not sure anyone’s actually interested in the position. After all, we’ve already determined I have anger issues. Bad weather doesn’t tend to put me in a good mood. Does anyone want to expose themselves to such a situation?  Not likely.

What I do know is that I’ll likely have the spend much of today in bed. I’ll take what meds I can, but they won’t do much good. I’ll try to keep complaints to a minimum, but I reserve the right to curse like a sailor every time I fall or drop something.

Tomorrow’s another day. Maybe by Thursday we will be able to mow the lawn. Life goes on, right?

Stop looking at me like I’m crazy, dog. You’re the one who keeps eating cat poop.

Oh look, it’s raining again. Damn weather.

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Fashion  /  PotD
Fashion Is Changing Its Look. Again.
August 16, 2016

Fashion doesn’t look good only on models; it can look good on different people of different ages and different body shapes. —Alber Elbaz

 

charles i. letbetter - fashion is changing its look - again

The next round of fashion weeks is just around the corner and the whole system is changing its look

We are now less than a month away from New York Fashion Week. One of the most frequent statements made back in February was, “we’ll have to wait until September.” Many of the changes that were announced early in the year com into fruition with next month’s set of shows. Not only have designers swapped seats, attitudes about the shows themselves have changed. Even more, the economy surrounding fashion has changed. What we experience through the fashion shows this season is likely to be a very different look than what we saw this time last year.

Change is a given in fashion. We wouldn’t need to do these dog-and-pony shows twice a year if fashion wasn’t always changing. We complain if we see two collections in a row that look too terribly similar. What’s important this season is the degree of change. Major wheels were set in motion back in the spring that change not only what we see now, but how we see it. The very structure of the presentations is changing and that may influence our perspective of the shows as well as our buying habits.

As I type this, schedules for New York are being finalized. There are some names we’ve come to expect that we won’t see on the roster this year. London, Milan, and Paris are getting ready as well and it’s just not the same as it was back in the Spring (if you can call February  Spring). The whole attitude is different. Let’s consider some of the changes.

Designers Swapping Seats

The number one topic at the beginning of each season is always which designers have switched to different labels. We didn’t see a tremendous amount of significant movement back in February, but we’ve certainly had some major changes since then and now all that jostling around has to prove its worth. These are going to drive changes in look for a number of labels.

  • Raf Simons has moved to Calvin Klein. You had to be hiding under a rock to miss this announcement. Everyone knew Raf was moving almost from the moment the first phone call was placed. The timing could have perhaps been a bit better. Simons works fast but it would be out of the ordinary even for him to create a full set on his own by  September 15, which is when CK is likely to show. Still, he’ll  be anxious to demonstrate the direction in which he wants to take the line. Anxiety and anticipation are very high here.
  • Peter Copping left Oscar de la Renta. What the fuck? This one almost knocked me out of my chair when the announcement was made last month. It’s been less than two years since Oscar de la Renta named Copping as his successor and then promptly died. The match looked perfect. The past two season’s shows have been well received. What the fuck happened? No one on either side is talking. Copping promptly moved back to the UK. De la Renta will run with a design team for the time being. We are very confused and very sad.
  • Bouchra Jarrar makes her debut at Lanvin. This looks to be one of the most highly anticipated shows of the season. Jarrar brings a different look, a more feminine look, back to Lanvin. That being said, shareholders are watching for a collection that resonates with buyers and increases sales. Will it work? We’ll see.
  • Anthony Vaccarello takes over at Yves Saint Laurent. The whole attitude has changed at YSL. Vaccarello comes from Versus Versace and almost certainly is going to bring some of Donatella’s influence with him. Expect a sexier, more defined, and perhaps even a little edgier look than YSL saw under Hedi Slimane.
  •  Maria Grazia Chiuri changes things up at Dior. Following Raf Simons isn’t going to be easy. Dior took its sweet time replacing the famed designer and makes a bold statement in appointing the label’s first female creative director. Chiuri makes the leap from Valentino where she was co-creative director. Pierpaolo Piccioli now has sole authority over there.

Spending this season on the sidelines, still, are Alber Elbaz and Hedi Slimane. One really has to wonder why they’ve not been snatched up.

A Little Less Fur

Fur has long been a mainstay of luxury fashion and Angora has been the go-to fur for quite a while given the endangered status of wild sources. Then, Peta, the animal rights group, took aim at the Angora industry in 2013, claiming harvesting methods were cruel. Now, it seems Peta has won. Orders for the fur dropped dramatically for this season after more than 100 major labels suspended use of fabric. Other types of fur have seen dramatic declines as well. I have to admit that I’m curious as to whether Dennis Basso is reducing his use of fur at all. Historically, he’s been unapologetic about using fur and animal skin in general.

What’s next? Wool. A recent op-ed takes aim at the ubiquitous fabric, claiming that large-scale harvesting methods are just as cruel as those used on angora rabbits.  Will this movement catch hold? The atmosphere certainly seems to be ripe for it, but the global use of wool peaks for the fall/winter season. We’re not likely to see any change until February.

What Season Is This?

We talked back in February about designers skipping the fall shows to go real-time this September.  Well, September  is here and we get to find out whether that strategy is going to work. Be sure, all eyes are watching Burberry, Tom Ford, and Rebecca Minkoff, among others, to see how they handle the straight-to-stores approach. Critical to this new look is whether consumers are confused by seeing both fall/winter looks and spring/summer looks in the same season. The seasonal look has been muted the past few years, with coats in spring and shorts in the fall almost being normal.

This change may work well, though, as designers look for alternative presentation methods. Criticism of the traditional runway approach grew rather heated back in February, but we’re not hearing much talk about the alternatives leading up to this season’s shows. Will Gloria Vanderbilt return to a runway approach or will she go with another fashion event that confuses the hell out of everyone? Talk back in the spring held that we would see more such presentations this fall, but as budgets have been trimmed to match declining profits much of that talk has disappeared.

A Little More Security

For people in Paris and London, the world feels less safe than it did back in February. Organizers in Milan and New York aren’t taking any risks, either. Whereas some designers had been flirting with the idea of open-to-the-public presentations, more care is being taken this fall to ensure the safety of everyone involved. Invitation requests are vetted with increased scrutiny and press credentials are more difficult to obtain. Guests lucky enough to attend an event will find security lines longer than ever. Restrictions on what guests can bring with them, including nail files and hair spray, are taken seriously.

Paris saw dramatically increased security last season but it didn’t seem to interfere with the overall spirit and celebration of the events. This season, though, there is a palpable difference in the tone. Multiple attacks across Europe have everyone looking over their shoulder. Supplier lists are under greater scrutiny. Location accessibility is a concern. In some cases, labels who might have traditionally sought a larger audience are scaling back a bit to reduce the risk.

Everyone wants fashion week to be fun and exciting, but the shadow of terrorism is impossible to escape.

Side Glance To Retail.

Macy’s is closing 100 stores. The announcement wasn’t a surprise. In fact, the retail conglomerate said earlier this year that store closings were coming. Yet, the impact was still like dropping a ton of bricks across the fashion industry. At the same time, China’s luxury market, which had been the one strong point in the industry, has begun a decline. No one is sure yet how much a hit global fashion brands might take but the Chinese government is making it clear they want those Yen to stay at home.

Meanwhile, both H&M and Lululemon are anticipating continued growth. Low-priced fast fashion is eating away at the luxury sector and forcing major labels to  make changes to their corporate look. As much movement as there has been among designers, there’s been even more seat swapping among fashion’s corporate CEOs. Even Burberry’s Christopher Bailey had to take a back seat in the boardroom over the summer.  No one wants to make a knee-jerk move that spooks the fragile market, but if sales don’t improve we may see even bigger shifts in the look of fashion by next February.

We Can’t Stop Watching

All that being said, interest in fashion is as high as ever. Fashion schools are experiencing prime enrollment numbers. Fashion magazines have retooled their look and enjoying higher numbers than this time last year. Instagram and Snapchat are full of fashionista-wannabes taking selfies of their latest look. Interest in fashion hasn’t waned one bit.

Everyone is being cautious, though. With so many changes hitting at the same time, this could be a very exciting season. We are hoping for a very exciting season. Strong interest in shows next month could do wonders for a slumping retail market. Don’t expect anything that looks like last year, though. This fashion look has changed dramatically. You may need to clean out your closet and start all over.

Prep your credit cards now. NYFW begins September 9.

Photo credits:

Model: Presley Stewart (LModelz)
Makeup: Danelle French
Hair: Jenise Norgaard
Styling: Nativa (Allyson Brooks and Lila Palomares)

Photography: charles i. letbetter

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Editorial  /  pop culture
Anger That’s Good For Body & Soul
August 14, 2016
charles i. letbetter - anger is good for body and soul

Beware of him that is slow to anger; for when it is long coming, it is the stronger when it comes, and the longer kept. Abused patience turns to fury. —Francis Quarles

 

charles i. letbetter - anger is good for body & soul

We’ve all been told that anger is a negative emotion. New research says otherwise.

Those closest to me know that I have anger issues. I always have. When I was small I would deal with the anger by hopping on my bike and riding until I was exhausted. As I grew older, I developed other coping mechanisms such as biting my tongue (literally) and counting to 100. Many times I would walk away from a situation that was making me angry. None of those methods were completely fool-proof though. There have been many times when my anger has boiled over and everyone nearby has felt the wrath.

We’ve all been told our entire lives that anger is a negative emotion, one we shouldn’t give any room or attention. Consider how our universal mindset is positioned for an anti-anger attitude:

  • In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. —Buddha
  • Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one. —Benjamin Franklin
  • The greatest remedy for anger is delay. —Lucius Annaeus Seneca
  • Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. —Mark Twain
  • Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you. —Joel Osteen

Today, I can call horseshit on all the anti-anger sentiment.

A Preponderance Of Evidence

Normally, articles such as this one stem from a single reading that branches out to various pieces of scientific research. This time, however, two very different articles showed up in my inbox at almost exactly the same time from two dramatically different sources. When I looked at the headlines sitting there together, I had to chuckle. The universe rarely gives me this kind of synchronicity. Then, I assumed the two articles likely contained different views of the same research. I was wrong. Both brought their own research to the party. By the time I read everything, I was thoroughly exhausted.

Where we start is with this article by Zaria Gorvett for the BBC. Ms. Gorvett’s writing here is extremely well researched. I would like to think that you would follow the link to her article and read the research which she references. You won’t, though, will you? Don’t worry, I’ll cover the high points for you.

The second article is from the more surprising source. The Greater Good website is the cumulative work of the Greater Good Science Center at Berkely University. Their stated purpose is:

The Greater Good Science Center studies the psychology, sociology, and neuroscience of well-being, and teaches skills that foster a thriving, resilient, and compassionate society.

Sounds all warm and fuzzy, doesn’t it? Yet, from this source comes Christine Carter’s article on Why It Doesn’t Pay To Be A People-Pleaser. When the universe delivers a double-whammy like that I’m pretty sure it means for me to pay attention.

The Soft Side Of Anger

Dr. Carter’s article takes a softer approach to the topic, not actually hitting the emotion of anger head-on but rather coming at it from the dichotomy of trying to please other people. If that doesn’t fuel some major anger and resentment I don’t know what does. She delivers three very good reasons why trying to be that super-positive Mr/Ms Happy all the time is a bad idea:

  • We don’t actually fool anyone
  • We find it harder to focus
  • You’ll become more stressed and anxious

The last subtopic was what really got my attention. Faking happy when we’re really not, shoving down our anger and frustration and trying to force the positivity is bad for us. Blood pressure goes up. Anxiety becomes more dominant. Our immune system doesn’t work as well resulting in more frequent illness. Not letting out all that anger you’re building up can kill you, and fast!

More than that, trying to push the happy when we’re obviously not happy is lying. We’re not really pulling the wool over anyone’s eyes. The people who work around you, the people who live around you, and even the kid who helps carry your groceries to the car knows your faking. Do you really want to live a lie or is it better to accept that some things totally piss you off and deal with your anger?

Dr Carter emphasises that the more we try to fake it, the more damage we do:

It’ll increase the odds that you react more aggressively to a provocation, eat more tempting snacks, engage in riskier behaviours, and—this one is pretty compelling to me—perform more poorly on tasks that require executive function, like managing your time, planning, or organizing.

See? All that fake goody-goodness isn’t doing anyone one damn bit of good.

Letting The Anger Flow

Ms. Gorvett comes at us with a strong statement that is backed by a truckload of research. Shove the positivity horseshit. Being angry accomplishes more good and is healthier at the same time.

The truth is, pondering the worst has some clear advantages. Cranks may be superior negotiators, more discerning decision-makers and cut their risk of having a heart attack. Cynics can expect more stable marriages, higher earnings and longer lives – though, of course, they’ll anticipate the opposite.

See all the links in that quote? Those lead to the research supporting her statement, and she’s just getting started. Good moods, all that happy-happy nonsense, is bad for you. I’m not just talking about emotions here. That positive attitude makes one more gullible, more selfish, and even encourages binge drinking, overeating and unsafe sex. This isn’t anecdotal. The research is right there in black and white.

Being angry, it turns out, puts us on guard, makes us more aware of a situation, and prepares us to be able to solve problems more quickly. Not surprisingly, this comes from our primal instincts and the need to protect ourselves. When our cave-dwelling ancestors lost a friend or family member to an aggressor, they got pissed off and either found a way to kill the aggressor or, if that wasn’t possible, move the fuck out of the offender’s territory.

Anger is a great motivator to help us get things done. Many times we don’t realize a problem exists until it pops up and ruins our day. We don’t like having our days ruined so we find a way to put that nonsense to an immediate end so that it doesn’t happen again. With that problem solved, we’re just a little less likely to be angry tomorrow. We’re doing well, right?

Anger Isn’t Going To Kill You

Pay attention here. Kat is constantly on me that my anger is raising my blood pressure and that I’m likely to have a heart attack while in the midst of having a nuclear meltdown over something. We’ve heard the same thing from doctors and psychologists for as long as we’ve been asking their advice. My son has taken to putting a kitten in my lap when he senses my anger reaching the boiling point. However, the research takes a different opinion.

644 people who already had coronary artery disease were followed for five to ten years. The study looked at anger, suppressed anger, and tendencies to experience stress. Guess what? The research showed that anger had NO IMPACT on one’s mortality. However, suppressing that shit increases the chances of having a heart attack nearly three-times over. You’ll just have to excuse me if I scream at someone the next time they no show on an appointment. I’m preventing a heart attack, dammit.

Furthermore, being angry the first time might prevent you from experiencing the same stressor later. If you’ve gotten angry over a situation, the next time that situation comes up your more likely to take steps to avoid what made you angry, such as making backups of your work, or packing extra clothes, or being sure the waiter explicitly understands that you’re allergic to mango. Anger saves our lives by putting us on our guard against Murphy’s Law.  When you’re expecting bad things to happen, you’re more likely to be ready.

Anger Is Good

People who are angry are more likely to have a well-established sense of fairness, are more likely to be generous with their resources, and are more likely to help people they see who are in need. They’re more prepared for life’s disasters and have the attitudes to deal with the stress. Angry people solve problems, are better negotiators, and invest more sensibly.

By contrast, people who are all positive and goody-goody all the time are more likely to be taken in by scams, are more likely to waste their money, are more likely to have failed relationships, and are more likely to become the victims of unexpected disasters. They also have shorter life spans, are more likely to fall prey to incurable disease, and need more assistance.

Which of those camps would you rather be in? For myself, I think I’ll keep hold of my anger, thank you. If you don’t want to experience it, then don’t fuck up. Do what you say you’re going to do. When you book an appointment, show the fuck up.  Pay when services are delivered.

Oh, and one more thing:  STAY THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!

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Editorial  /  pop culture  /  PotD
Humility Is Good For Your Brain
August 14, 2016

 

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility. —Saint Augustine

charles i. letbetter - humility is good for your brain

Humility may be counter-intuitive but is a critical part of learning

I’ve been taking pictures longer than a third of the US population has been alive. Yet, there are still aspects of photography with which I struggle. I have three adult sons about whom I generally feel positive. Knowing how to respond correctly to Kat’s little ones, though, often leaves me frustrated and confused. I like to think I am generally a smart guy, but I start reading through the journal articles to which I subscribe and it only takes a few minutes before I feel as dumb as a box of rocks. Humility reaches out and slaps me in the face on a daily basis.

We live in what has the potential to be a gilded age of knowledge. For the first time in the history of humanity, there is almost universal access to information and the combined knowledge of experts in almost every field. Yet, we’ve yet to experience anything close to a renaissance of intellectual reasoning or academic understanding. Why? How are we missing out on what should be one of the most fantastic periods of advancement in the history of the world?

The answer to that question is simple but painful to accept:  We lack any sense of academic humility. We are so confident that we already know everything we need to know that we close our minds to even looking for more knowledge and information. We let Internet memes inform our opinions. Our social media feeds become our sole source of knowledge. If a topic isn’t trending we don’t know that it exists and, even worse, we don’t care.

Why We Need Humility

From the outset, we are plagued with the misguided notion that equates humility with weakness. Popular social themes have instructed us to “fake it ’til you make it.” Pseudo-psychologists appearing on talk shows have us convinced that we need to exude self-confidence even to the point of covering up the fact that we don’t know something. Employment “experts” tell us that it is just fine to walk into a job interview and pretend to know something we don’t in order to land a job. After all, you can always look it up on the Internet later, right?

All that advice you’ve been listening to is wrong. Every last damn bit of it. Throw it all away. Push it from your mind. Do you want strength? Start with a little humility and admit that you don’t actually know nearly as much as you want people to think you know. We are all so fallible that when we are correct it comes as a surprise.

Jacob Burk, writing for aeon, lays out a strong argument that the ineffective way we obtain information has given us an over-confidence in what we think we understand. He cites recent research, which I strongly suggest you read but know you won’t, showing the “illusion of wisdom” that comes from our sloppy learning methods. As a result of that illusion, we stop looking for answers even when they’re right at our fingertips, such as the two links I’ve provided in this paragraph. I’ve expressed that frustration before and it that lack of humility that prevents you from learning. Even now, you’re likely arguing in your mind that you know enough.

Benefiting From Humility

Compare and contrast time. Confidence breed bullies. Humility breeds negotiators and problem solvers.  Confidence says, “I have the best ideas and you need to just shut up and follow me.” Humility says, “Let’s work together and find a solution that respects everyone.” Confidence says, “I am a great leader. Do what I say and everything will be okay.”  Humility says, “We do better when we work together, no matter who we are.”

Consider the words of Michele Obama from a speech made at the 2012 Democratic Convention:

We learned about gratitude and humility – that so many people had a hand in our success, from the teachers who inspired us to the janitors who kept our school clean… and we were taught to value everyone’s contribution and treat everyone with respect.

Such is the strength and power of humility. Those who are humble, especially on an academic level, don’t feel as though they have to come up with a solution to every problem on their own. People who are humble are team players. They look for the strength in others and humble leaders bring together those strengths and find solutions through the power of combined effort. Humility is, in essence, at the very heart of democracy. Our nation does not work well under the forceful demands of a tyrant. We believe, and have proven, that we are at our best when everyone contributes their voice and their vote.

Oh Lord, It’s Hard To Be Humble

The Mac Davis song from back in the 1970s is meant to be humorous. The chorus was laughably funny when the novelty song first hit the airwaves. Now, it sounds almost like it might be a campaign theme song.

Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble
When you’re perfect in every way.
I can’t wait
To look in the mirror.
Cause I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me.
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord, It’s hard to be humble,
But I’m doing the best that I can.

I still want to smile when I hear that song. Mac’s voice takes me back to a time when I was still riding in the backseat of my father’s car and didn’t think anyone could actually be as egotistical as the guy in the song. I was naive. We are surrounded by people who think they know everything simply because they can Google an answer to a question and make themselves look more intelligent than they actually are. We see them in comments to news articles and in the trolls that proliferate on Twitter.

Such overconfidence is holding us back. Solutions are not found when we refuse to recognise the problem.  We need people with humility to successfully negotiate treaties and business agreements. Learning is not something on which we can snack while binge watching Netflix. We need the humility to realize we are letting our brains atrophy. We need real, deep knowledge to lift us out of these antique ideas based in mythologies that are thousands of years too old.

We’re not perfect. The image we think we see in the mirror is an illusion. We’re not doing the best that we can. We all need a strong dose of humility and we need it applied right now.

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Art  /  Just For Fun  /  Original Style
Saturday Deserves A Coffee Break
August 13, 2016
charles i. letbetter - Saturday needs a coffee break

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. —Earl Wilson

 

charles i. letbetter - saturday needs a coffee break

Saturdays are the perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and chat–about coffee

 

We’re on our third pot of coffee this morning. There was, admittedly, a cup of orange juice between the first and second pots because I’m old enough to really need the vitamins and stuff. There’s no replacement for coffee, though. Our lives would be but a shell without it. For that matter, I’m pretty sure some lives would be shorter without it. This drink makes us stop and think a moment before taking any actions. There are times when that’s the only thing preventing homicide. Coffee saves the day.

A lot of the best people I know are coffee enthusiasts. One colleague goes out of her way to explore new coffee shops and coffee drinks. Many of my best friends are rarely seen without a coffee cup in their hands. I consider a coffee stain on one’s clothes a sign of intelligence and deep thought. After all, had they not been thinking so deeply about something else, they probably wouldn’t have spilled coffee on themselves.

I’m also excited by the fact that our friends at Calvin Fletcher’s Coffee Company finally completed the installation of their bean roaster this week. Now, like any other new piece of delicate equipment, roasters take some time to calibrate and get to know. We’ll give our friends a couple of weeks to work out the kinks, but I’m looking forward to my next visit. Coffee people, real coffee people, are the best people in the world.

Obsessed With Making Coffee

Those who indulge in this dark essence of warm delight are often as obsessed with making it as they are with drinking it. I can’t wait until I’m awake enough to get Kat awake enough to drive me somewhere to place an order. I need to make my own and if I’m making my own I want it to taste good.

Like many people, I grew up with percolated coffee. Some of you children have likely never experienced such a thing. Percolators are devices where the ground coffee is placed in a basket at the top while the remained below is filled with water. Water is then brought to a boiling temperature at which point it is forced up a tube and over the grounds, exiting the basket at the bottom and mixing with the remaining water below. The whole process takes about 15 minutes for a standard home-use percolator. Percolated taste is passable, but the longer the machine percolates the more the coffee is poured back over the grounds and can make the results bitter.

Then came Mr. Coffee. A home version of the commercial Bunn machines used in restaurants, these nifty new devices heated the water, poured it over the ground beans, then deposited the filtered results into a glass carafe waiting below. Think of it as a multi-cup pour over. There were a couple of inherent dangers, though. One was that the thermostats heating the water were less than precise. As a result, one might find a carafe of lukewarm garbage barely drinkable, or something so hot it threatened to eat through the glass.  The other was that many people would leave just a tiny amount of liquid in the bottom but leave the warming plate on. Burning, horrible burning, would occur. The smell was enough to turn stomachs.

Tools Of The Trade

So, what is the best way to make sure your morning starts right? What tools does one really need to make a drink that is not only passable but worth stumbling through the house in the dark and stepping on three Lego’s? Personally, I prefer french press. We use a 20-ounce carafe. I know exactly how to grind the beans, the exact amount, and just how hot to let the water get. My method is so rote I can almost do it in my sleep.

Understandably, not everyone agrees. In fact, I was quite amused when Business Insider published an article on the six things we all should have to prepare this most necessary drink. Their list is, shall we say, a bit pretentious:

  • Chemex. That’s a very specific pour over brand. Pour overs are okay,  I suppose, but the one cup at a time limitation rather sucks, especially if one has company. There are larger versions, but at that point, they’re really not any different than a Bunn, are they?
  • A gooseneck kettle for precise pouring. Personally, I find this falls into the give-me-a-fucking-break department. The number of people who can actually tell the difference is one in about three hundred and fifty million coffee drinkers who are awake enough to be paying attention. No one whose eyes are still half shut gives this much of a fuck. Just let me have my damn drink.
  • An Aeropress. If there were no hipsters, there would be no need for this product. Again, I’ll take my french press any time over this nonsense with its filters and need for precision. This is just craziness right here. Anyone who owns one of these has probably tried brewing their own beer as well. Total pretentiousness.
  • A scale. Give me a fucking break. Unless you’re putting weed in your coffee, which I don’t recommend, this is a total waste of time. Coffee doesn’t need to be that precise.
  • A grinder. Okay, I’ll give you this one. Grinding your beans fresh is a critical part to getting a good taste. Of course, that also raises issues about how to grind, how long to grind, how much to grind, how to store what you’ve ground … you get the picture.
  • A coffee table book on coffee. Am I the only one having flashbacks of Kramer’s coffee table book on the sitcom Seinfeld? Please, tell me I’m not alone here.

Dealing With Excess

Even though we drink a lot of this stuff, there are still times we have leftovers. I hate waste, I really do, but I can’t stomach anything that’s been sitting out on the counter for the past three hours. Fortunately, the good folks at Death Wish Coffee Company have some ideas for how to deal with leftover coffee. Here, they even put it in a video for you:

Now, For A Break

This whole writing about what I’m drinking has become exhausting. I need a break, and a refill. You’re more than welcome to join me. After all, it is Saturday. And it’s raining. Do you really have anything better to do? No, you don’t. Sit down and pour yourself a cup. Enjoy.

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Mythology  /  PotD
Playing Deep Not Just For Children
August 13, 2016
charles i. letbetter - playing deep not just for kids

Rest until you feel like playing, then play until you feel like resting, period. Never do anything else. —Martha Beck

 

charles i. letbetter playing deep not just for children

Playing so deeply, so intensely, that we lose track of everything else is essential to our existence

I was sitting here reading an article about Diane Ackerman  on the evolutionary and existential purpose of deep play  when the computer dinged, telling me that an email had arrived.  I am obsessive about checking my email even if I don’t read them right away. I’m always afraid of missing that one that’s vitally important. This one wasn’t what most people would consider critical but I found the timing interesting. Our invitation from Killing Kittens to their Day of the Dead Halloween party in Madrid had just arrived.

“Make sure our private jet is ready,” I joked with Kat. I have to admit, even without the sex the party sounds intriguing. The dress code calls for La Calavera Catrina, elegant skulls and fine attire.  Given the type of clientele that normally attends these parties, I can just imagine some very elaborate and sexy costumes. Just don’t ask anyone where they got their skull. You probably don’t want to know.

Truth is, with all the time Kat’s spent at school and I’ve spent keeping the little ones alive, we’ve not been playing as much as we should. Chances are, you haven’t either. Playing is more than just indulging in a pastime for a few minutes. Deep playing is achieving a state where nothing else exists in our minds but the play. No thinking about work. Problems at  school disappear. Financial worries don’t exist. Playing takes over and for the duration, our minds are allowed to be free.

Deep Playing Is Part Of Existing

I’ve mentioned before that we rescued a couple of abandoned kittens a couple of weeks ago. When we found them, they were malnourished, stunted, and barely alive. To look at them now, though, one would never know they had been in such perilous danger. They frolick around the house, jumping and playing, climbing here and there, testing their skills in ways  that are hilarious to observe. This kind of deep playing is important to their development, though.  This is where they learn how to cat. They observe the older cats in the house and then use play to mimic them and test out their own skills.

What is “deep play?” Ms. Ackerman defines it this way: “In rare moments of deep play, we can lay aside our sense of self, shed time’s continuum, ignore pain, and sit quietly in the absolute present, watching the world’s ordinary miracles.”

If you have small children in the house, watch and listen to how they play when they think no one is looking. Children indulge in playing deep on a daily basis. They create their own worlds. They sing their own songs. Looking at books, they create their own stories. Chances are, you were very much like them once.  Playing deep is what made you happy. You found who you were, defined who you wanted to be, all through the act of playing. Unfortunately, as we grow older, we begin looking at play time as a waste. We find “more important” things to do. There are chores that cannot be ignored. Work beckons us to be serious and focused. Playtime gets shoved to the side and, too often, becomes completely ignored.

Deep Playing Is Critical To Development

A  long quote from Ms. Ackerman is necessary here:

It’s so familiar to us, so deeply ingrained in the matrix of our childhood, that we take it for granted. But consider this: ants don’t play. They don’t need to. Programmed for certain behaviors, they automatically perform them from birth. Learning through repetition, honed skills, and ingenuity isn’t required in their heritage. The more an animal needs to learn in order to survive, the more it needs to play…

What we call intelligence … may not be life’s pinnacle at all, but simply one mode of knowing, one we happen to master and cherish. Play is widespread among animals because it invites problem-solving, allowing a creature to test its limits and develop strategies. In a dangerous world, where dramas change daily, survival belongs to the agile not the idle. We may think of play as optional, a casual activity. But play is fundamental to evolution. Without play, humans and many other animals would perish.

Think for a moment about what Ms. Ackerman is actually saying. When we stop playing, we stop learning. Without play, deep play, we stop evolving both as a person and as a species. Play is where we first push the boundaries, search the unknown, and test out theories. We may then take our playtime activities and incorporate them into the rest of our life, but playtime is  where some of our greatest and most creative moments begin.

The Deeper Meaning of Playing

Etymology can be a tremendous amount of fun, but in this particular case understanding the origins of the word play is especially helpful. Again, I defer to Ms. Ackerman’s words:

But when we peer even farther back into its origins, we discover that play’s original meaning was quite different, something altogether more urgent and abstract. In Indo-European, plegan meant to risk, chance, expose oneself to hazard. A pledge was integral to the act of play, as was danger (cognate words are peril and plight). Play’s original purpose was to make a pledge to someone or something by risking one’s life. Who or what might that someone or something be? Possibilities abound, including a relative, a tribal leader, a god, or a moral trait such as honor or courage. At its heart, plegan reverberated with ethical or religious values. It also contained the idea of being tightly fastened or engaged. Soon plegan became associated with performing a sacred act or administering justice, and it often appeared in ceremonies.

We play deep in many ways:  reading a book, watching an especially engaging movie, hobbies, crafting, enthralling conversations with friends and, of course, sex. Each of those forms of play still holds, in some form, that original sense of plegan. Our minds go where our bodies cannot. We imagine being and doing more than we are, more than what we currently are capable of doing. We lose ourselves in something other than what actually is present and in doing so we grow.

Playing Is Spiritual

Look around your community this weekend and notice all the different places of worship. Religion has long demanded its followers to set aside a day in which they might focus on matters of a more spiritual nature. Muslims worship on Fridays. The Jewish Shabat encompasses most of Saturday. Christians fill their churches on Sunday. Regardless of one’s belief system, such times of spiritual focus are important not only in terms of devotion but in better understanding who we are and our relationship to all that is around us.

Deep play accomplishes the same thing on a universal plane. Playing takes us to a spiritual place where there is no racism, no violence, no shaming, and no hunger. Playing gives us, in many ways, what church can’t, or won’t. Ms. Ackerman spends a lot of time on this particular aspect and, I think, deservedly so. Consider what she has to say:

In rare moments of deep play, we can lay aside our sense of self, shed time’s continuum, ignore pain, and sit quietly in the absolute present, watching the world’s ordinary miracles… When it happens we experience a sense of revelation and gratitude. Nothing need be thought or said. There is a way of beholding that is a form of prayer.

…

When one enters the realm of deep play, the sacred playground where only the present moment matters, one’s history and future vanish. One doesn’t remember one’s past, needs, expectations, worries, real or imaginary sins. The deep-play world is fresh, wholly absorbing, and full of its own unique wisdom and demands. Being able to temporarily step outside of normal life—while keeping one’s senses alert — is indeed like being reborn. To erase all memories and yearnings — to be vigorously alive without self-awareness — can provide a brief return to innocence.

Weekends Are For Playing

As a fully ordained minister in the Church of the Latter-Day Dude, I would charge you to spend a significant portion of your time playing. Deep play, mind you. Make your play spiritual. Escape. Immerse yourself in a book, or a game. Let the aroma and flavors of an exotic food take you deep into a culinary adventure. Surround yourself with friends and let their joy and happiness create a barrier between you and your worries. Explore your sexual curiosity and find pleasure in a new experience. There are so many different ways to play deep.

Don’t let the kids have all the fun. Don’t stop growing. Weekends are for playing. Play on.

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Current Issues  /  PotD  /  science
A Generation Content Without Sex
August 12, 2016
charles i. letbetter - a generation content without sex

To talk about adults without talking about their sex drives is like talking about a window without glass. —Grace Metalious

 

charles i. letbetter - life without sex

This younger generation of adults is happy putting other things above sex. Maybe that’s why their music sucks.

My 18-year-old son recently moved in with us, something that makes me very happy. He’s a great kid and I love having him around. Since the amount of space we have is small, however, one of the first things we did with him was set down some guidelines regarding having girls over. Basically, we told him to limit such activity to when the little ones are either at school or asleep, pretty much the same rules we hold for ourselves.

He rolled his eyes in that way only a teenager can do effectively. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” he said. He then pulled his 3DS (handheld gaming console) from his pocket and headed toward his room.

This is the new millennial, the younger end of that generation, between the ages of 18-25. They are markedly different in their attitudes towards sex than any generation before them. While they like sex, they’re having a lot less than their immediate predecessors. Compared to their parents’ over-sexed generation, the kids almost seem prudish. What the hell is going on? Do we need to be concerned about this?

Of Course, There’s A Study

The Washington Post published an extensive article on this very topic last week. This is where newspapers such the Post really shine. They’ve taken the work of a fairly involved study [Twenge, J.M., Sherman, R.A. & Wells, B.E. Arch Sex Behav (2016). doi:10.1007/s10508-016-0798-z] and put some real-world application to the academics. The numbers are fairly daunting. Consider this:

Among those aged 20–24, more than twice as many Millennials born in the 1990s (15 %) had no sexual partners since age 18 compared to GenX’ers born in the 1960s (6 %).

Think about that. Fifteen percent of those 20-24 years old have had no sex at all since they were 18. That means they’ve gone as much as six years without sex. For most of those from my generation, anything over six months has us at a point of desperation. Not these kids, though. They’re just fine waiting, and that may not be a bad thing. Stephanie Coontz, director of research at the Council on Contemporary Families, told the Post:

As people have gotten much more accepting of all sorts of forms of consensual sex, they’ve also gotten more picky about what constitutes consent. We are far less accepting of pressured sex.

What the details of the study point out is that the sexual attitudes of this generation might actually be more progressive than any before them.

Taking Control of the Situation

While there are multiple reasons for the decreasing numbers regarding sexual activity, one aspect that stands out is the degree to which women are more in control of their sexual experiences. Recent attitude shifts regarding things such as on-campus date rape have resulted not only in severe crackdowns on such activities, but an increased awareness that has women on guard and watching for such dangers.

Redefining consent has also played a significant role. Young men are now, rightfully, being taught that a drunken “yes” is still a no. Even more, most young women regard such attempts to get them drunk as downright creepy. Where their predecessors might have hit the clubs with the intention of letting someone else pay for their drinks and risk the consequences of inappropriate behavior, young women today are more likely to pay for their own drinks so as to control both content and quantity. They’ve heard too many stories of young men who were not to be trusted, so they are responding in a way that makes sense.

Pick up lines aren’t working like they once did, either. They’re not working at all, in most cases, and gender doesn’t necessarily matter. Both men and women within this younger age range are likely to completely ignore advances from someone outside their group without a previous introduction. Those who approach people they don’t know are likely to be seen as predatory. This is a generation that is all too familiar with stories of rape and kidnapping at the hands of strangers. Their trust level is already low.  Why would they trust someone hitting on them?

Care Regarding Relationships

Another significant factor in this trend away from sex is that young millennials are more cautious about entering into relationships. Specifically, they want to avoid those relationships that are not going to be long term. They don’t want the baggage of running into an ex at their favorite coffee shop. They don’t want to mess with the emotional turmoil. In short, they don’t want to make the same mistakes they’ve likely watched their divorced or single parents make.

Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and chief scientific adviser to the dating site Match.com told the Post:

It’s a highly motivated, ambitious generation. A lot of them are afraid that they’ll get into something they can’t get out of and they won’t be able to get back to their desk and keep studying.

Well, that’s assuming they’re “studying.” This is a generation not yet ready to be tied down to anything, especially a person. Not having sex does more than keep them out of a dating relationship, it keeps them from having children they don’t want as well. Again, women of this age are very sensitive to maintaining control over their bodies. The difference between being tied to a baby or tied to a boyfriend isn’t that significant and many young women don’t want either of them.

Don’t Forget The Geek Factor

Norman Spack, associate clinical professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School, tells the Post:

The nature of communication now is anti-sexual. People are not spending enough time alone just together. There’s another gorilla in the room: It’s whatever is turned on electronically.

Characteristics and habits that many young adults now embrace would have been considered “nerdy” or “geeky” by their parents’ generation. Had you told me 30 years ago about a video game that involved tracking make-believe creatures out in public, I would have laughed and called you a geek. Now, I think I’m the only one not running all over the place playing Pokèmon Go. In public.

Video games aren’t the only distraction, mind you. Many young adults would rather sit home and binge-watch a television series than go out and interact with people. Then, there are the omnipresent social media that sufficiently distracts people of every age, allowing hours to pass without any direct human interaction. There are so many other things to do, things that don’t involve risks of disease or emotions, that many millennials would rather not be bothered with the whole dating thing.

More Than 72 Virgins

While this study looked specifically at the habits of young adults, the Post also raises information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention showing that sexual activity is down among high school students as well. One of the things I found surprising was the number of people interviewed who admitted to still being virgins despite being well into their twenties. None of them cited any religious reason, mind you. In fact, religious influence doesn’t factor in any significant way throughout the study, something that is probably worthy of deeper consideration.

Rather, young millennials are content enough with other forms of activity, or inactivity, so as to not make sex a priority in their lives. More are holding out for that “perfect” relationship that will lead to marriage and kids (we’ll not tell them the bad news about that pipe dream just yet). Many are focusing first on their careers. More are dedicated to building a lifetime of other experiences that are less likely to tie them down.  Sex would just get in the way and, since they’ve never actually experienced it, they don’t miss it. As a result, there may be more virgins in the US now than there has been since the 1950s.

There Are Still Consequences

All this talk about not having sex, paired with other data showing that couples are putting off having children or not having them at all, does have a couple of negative factors to be considered. One is that we could be looking at a future where there are not enough people to handle all the jobs the future will create. Already, we’ve been hearing of shortages of farm workers, and Nicolas Colas, chief market strategist for Convergex, told Bloomberg last year that we’re beginning to run out of “employable workers.”  That is, those with specific education and experience in the fields where they are most needed.

Not that the world population is in any danger, mind you. There are still plenty of countries churning out more babies than they can support. What this means, however, is that immigration is likely to become an even more critical issue in the future as there are fewer people already here capable of filling the job market. Historically,  we have not handled such situations terribly well. Just ask the Chinese who worked the railroads, or the Irish who built up our cities.

There is also the danger that this generation may not know how to handle intimacy and might run from it or respond to it inappropriately. This isn’t something we’ve dealt with on a large scale before and we, as a society, are ill-equipped to deal with a generation of loners, those who have few social skills and avoid public encounters. Everything from the retail economy to work environments could be adversely affected.

It’s Only 15 Percent

This is the point at which someone needs to emphasize that the vast majority of people are still having lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of sex and enjoying every minute of it. We’re only talking about 15 percent of the millennials population that is not having sex. Any great level of worry about a negative outcome or adverse affect on society is probably misplaced. Relax, kids, everything’s fine.

What we must realize, though, is that attitudes toward sex, across the board, are changing dramatically. Younger generations don’t hold the same viewpoints toward sex that their parents did and it’s on my generation, we old folks who were fucking anything and everything, consequences be damned, to get up to speed. Much of the behavior we considered “normal” in the 60s and 70s was hurtful and does not need to be continued. This younger generation is improving society, correcting our errors, and building a better world.

Okay, so not as many of us will have grandkids to bounce on our knees and spoil. Or if we do, we may have to wait longer to get them. That’s not a bad thing. Our children are more likely to make life decisions that don’t place them in compromising positions. You know, the kind that made you have to abandon your hopes and dreams to deal with a reality that sucked.

Now, if we could just get them to write better music.

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PotD  /  Published
Bridges That We Need To Cross
August 7, 2016
charles i. letbetter - bridges we need to cross

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. —Nikita Khrushchev

 

charles i. letbetter - bridges that need crossing

There are many bridges we must cross and sometimes the biggest decision is how to cross them

“Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now or later?”

My thoughts had already catapulted me off into distant lands so I did not immediately grasp the question, prompting its repeat.

“Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now?”

White grocery bags held together in her left hand give her the appearance of possibly being homeless, the glassy sheen to her eyes and her otherwise kept attire indicated a greater probability that at least her body had a home, even if her mind and soul had been dismissed by whatever pharmaceutical cocktail forced her to wander the near lifeless streets of Elgin.

At least she was smiling.

When she repeated the question I mumbled a hasty, “Not today, thank you,” as though I might give her offer more lengthy consideration on some later date. I looked over the crumbling concrete railing at the sludge-brown water of whatever river smirked slowly below. What would she have done had I responded with an enthusiastic, “Sure, you toss me then I’ll toss you!”  Internally, some small wrinkle in my brain chuckled at the potential hilarity while the remaining neurons fired away at all the instructions necessary to keep one’s body propelled forward.

Thinking About Bridges

Having time to think opens precarious doors. One’s initial thoughts focus on the inherently obvious and can entertain a logical analysis of known factors. Given sufficient time for processing, though, the mind eventually begins substituting the illogical in place of the logical. Unknown elements replace known factors and before long one inevitably tumbles headlong into conjecture and the impossible world of “what if.” Within such ambiguous territory, fears enjoy free reign, popping up in every concept until they leak past the world of the unknown to pollute the world of the known. Suddenly, nothing seems quite so certain anymore.

Except, there’s still that bridge and it’s potentially life changing offer.

Ever stop to think about bridges? They are fundamental to transportation, or any manner of transition. Bridges represent a desire to leave one place, one existence, one ideal, in favor of another, the two being separated by some form of chasm which cannot otherwise be traversed.

Look carefully at the construction of a bridge and one finds the very structure itself is the definition of change. Such was true even of ancient bridges; on either side of a ravine may be roads or paths of sod, yet the bridge itself must be made of a different material, usually wood or stone. Modern spans of asphalt spread on beds of gravel are bridged by delicately poured concrete under-girded with steel. Engineers would never consider building an entire road from the same material, using the same methods as bridges; the expense alone makes such an idea impractical. As a result, it is almost impossible to cross a bridge that does not invoke change.

What’s On The Other Side

Often, one sets focus solely on whatever lies on the other side of the bridge. After all, whatever exists over there is the reason we cross the bridge in the first place. Yet, what too often catches us by surprise is the change invoked by the bridge itself; a change wholly unlike what waits on the other side.

And in that consideration, that change requires pre-change, the question of a seemingly mentally challenged pedestrian takes on a whole new meaning. “Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now or later?”

Here find both cause and solution to failure; it is not that one does not want or fears the change on the other side; but that we are unprepared for the intermediate change of the bridge and, caught up in the panic of the unexpected, we either jump or allow some random crazy person to toss us over. As a result, we end up soaked by the muddy waters of despair, never achieving the change we so ardently desire.

What we fail to realize is that what we experience on the bridge is necessary preparation for what we find on the other side. Bridges are designed to get us there, not stop us in the process. We need what bridges offer.

Lessons From Disney

Granted, some bridges have the innate ability to invoke fear.

In the Disney movie “Shrek,” the ogre and Donkey arrive at the dragon’s castle to find they must cross a less-than-secure looking bridge below which flows a stream of fiery molten lava. Donkey is immediately concerned and, half-way across, is ready to turn around and go back, willing to leave the princess for someone else to rescue. Shrek proceeds to employ distraction tactics and before Donkey realizes what is happening, they both are safely across the bridge.

And what distraction did the giant green ogre use to get donkey across the bridge? The threat of being flung over the side!

Two matters are worth noting in that story. First, it was Donkey’s over-thinking the safety of the bridge that allowed room for the fear to engulf him. Had he simply walked cautiously across the structure he would not have encountered any problem. Second, when paralyzed by fear, we sometimes need the help of a friend threatening to send us over the side before we can get across.

“Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now or later?”

Back In The Real World

Outside the Adams street entrance to Chicago’s Union Station, an older man, his back hunched from the reality of a life lived, sits on a bench and removes from his shirt pocket a pack of Marlboro Lights. His old hands trembling, he removes a cigarette from the pack and lights it. Not a scenario that sounds too terribly unusual, especially given that almost every other bench in the area is occupied by someone else doing exactly the same thing.

What makes this gentleman unique is that, prior to fishing the pack of cigarettes from his pocket, he had to first remove and shut off the oxygen tube from his nose. Every drag on the cigarette was obviously painful and labored. More than once the man winced as he struggled to draw the nicotine down into what little remains of his lungs. When finished, he replaced the tube in his nostrils, turned on the portable oxygen tank strapped to his back, and resumed a more relaxed and comfortable breathing rhythm.

Talk about addictions all you want, ultimately the man couldn’t, wouldn’t, cross the bridge. Crossing the bridge, for him, means putting down the cigarettes and he has made the decision that suffering is preferable to crossing the uncertain path leading to quitting.

Don’t Burn It Yet

We may find it easy to criticize the old man for making such a self-destructing choice, but how often are we guilty of making choices of equal fatality to our careers, our families, our well-being, our happiness, all because there is some bridge, some challenge, some fear that we must first conquer before we can reach our goal?

No significant change happens without some manner of transition. If there were no canyons between the status quo and progress, we might well slide between one state of being and the next without realizing any chance had occurred at all. Yet, it is those muddy rivers, those gullies, the ravines and ditches, that create boundaries, territory markers, and we simply cannot move from one existence to the next without crossing some manner of bridge.

Many of life’s bridges we zip across without care or worry, scarcely even noticing that the ground beneath us has changed. However, as we cross some of the most meaningful bridges of our lives we will often be faced with that now lingering question: “Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now or later?

Perhaps the old woman wasn’t so crazy after all. Something tells me she knows the answer to that question better than any of us.

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Art  /  Music  /  Photography  /  PotD
The Power Of Dreams
August 5, 2016
charles i. letbetter - the power of dreams

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. —Carl Jung

 

charles i. letbetter - the power of dreams

Dreams allow us to find creative solutions because there’s nothing to stand in their way.

My youngest son, the 18-year-old, has taken to wanting to watch horror movies on Netflix before going to bed at night. There is a severe dichotomy to his reasoning for choosing the last moments of the day to watch something that frightens the subconscious. He likes the emotional intensity of horror and suspense, but the movies give him nightmares.

Last night was a perfect example. I’m sitting elsewhere, reading, when I get a text message:

Why you leave me alone out here in the living room wanting to watch a horror movie?

When I didn’t respond quickly enough, he sent another message asking if I was almost done with my reading. He wanted to watch a movie, but was too frightened to watch one by himself. I stayed up to keep his mind occupied with other things while he watched some tale of creatures that live in the woods. Then, he had to watch something more fun before he could go to bed. Some dreams can be terrifying.

Dreams are strange beasts that we don’t understand in any great detail. For all the studies that have been done, scientists still don’t know why we dream. Neither does anyone really know why some dreams seem to have cognisance while others are nothing more than collections of random nonsense. If there was a failing to Dr. Jung’s research, it was the presumption that all dreams must have meaning. They don’t. Yet, without them, our lives get messed up in a hurry.

Turning Off Your Brain

Quick biology lesson: There is a part of your brain that, primarily, manages your impulse control, the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC). This is a very important part of our brain, especially when it comes to social skills. The DLPFC is that filter that stops you before you call your mother-in-law an old cow in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. The same fold in your brain also prevents one from murdering everyone who is slightly annoying. We really need this part of our brain to work, and work well.

Care to guess what part of your brain gets shut off when you sleep? That’s right, the DLPFC shuts right down and takes a nap of its own. Actually, the entire prefrontal cortex takes a much-needed break. We work some parts of our brains harder than others when we’re awake and the prefrontal cortex uses that time to essentially catch its breath so that it can keep us from doing something stupid tomorrow.

Without the DLPFC in operation, however, our minds are free to roam. There is no inhibition in our dreams. All the creative mess on the right side of our brain, including the part that makes connections between bits of information, are allowed to wander at will. As a result, our dreams become full of really random and surreal thoughts as things that have absolutely nothing to do with each other begin to collide. At the same time, though, this uninhibited state allows us to find solutions that we otherwise wouldn’t consider.

The Upside Of Dreaming

Dreams have always fascinated us. As a result, scientists have attempted to study them for years with varying success. While there has been a lot of speculation, only relatively recently with the use of fMRI have we been able to begin to really understand what our brains are doing when we sleep, and specifically when dreaming. There are a number of different portions of our brain that are turned on and more active when we are asleep. Equally important, though, are the parts that stand down and let the creativity flow.

What may be most interesting is that we don’t have to dream all night to receive the creative benefits. Studies show that a good nap wherein we achieve REM sleep can boost cognitive association and creative problem solving by as much as 60 percent.You might want to let your boss in on that bit of research the next time you get caught sleeping at your desk (Ulrich Wagner and Jan Born in Nature, 2004).

Chances are you’ve experienced this phenomenon before. You have a problem to which you cannot seem to find a solution no matter how hard you might try. Then, you go to bed and in that foggy space between being awake and asleep the answer suddenly comes to you. Eureka! Problem solved.

Our minds can be at their most creative when we’re asleep, as well. Rocker Keith Richards tells the story of falling asleep on a night in May of 1965. Near his bed were a guitar and a tape recorder. When he woke up, the tape was at the end of the reel. Upon rewinding the tape, Richards found the opening of a song, along with an entire verse, followed by forty minutes of snoring. The song? (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.

The Down Side

Life can be cruel sometimes and one of them is a nasty disease that specifically affects the DLPFC. While shutting that thing down during our dreams is a good thing, losing it completely kills us. However, before we die, we can get very, very creative even if we’ve never shown an inkling of artistic interest or ability before.

The disease is frontotemporal dementia. There is neither a known cause nor a cure. Like many forms of dementia, the process can be slow and doesn’t present itself the same way in every person. However, one of the things that happens as the DLPFC deteriorates is that people suddenly develop a tremendous artistic interest and ability they have never shown before. People might suddenly develop an interest and ability to paint, or sculpt, or write, or compose music when they’ve never had any training or even any overt exposure to the medium. Their skills develop more quickly  than normal because that part of the brain that tells them they can’t, or shouldn’t, is no longer there. The creativity flows unabated right up until the point of death.

Yeah, creativity can be a killer. I’m sorry, did no one mention that to you before?

A Happy Medium

I don’t think too many of us really want to die for our art. Being creative is wonderful and we love it when the ideas are flowing freely. However, few of us are willing to trade off longevity to capture a new photograph or develop a new style of painting. Is there a way to be so creative without winding up in a pine box?

Turns out, there is. We can actually teach ourselves to temporarily turn off the DLPFC so that, for a moment, we can experience the creativity found in a controlled dream state. The practice is most frequently found in forms of improvisation, especially jazz music and improv comedy. Artists such as John Coltrane, YoYo Ma, John Baptiste, and Steve Martin all learned to develop that ability to let go, turn off the part of the brain that says, “No, don’t do that,” so that nothing stands between them and the pure flow of creativity.

Not that such spontaneous creativity comes easily. Years of practice are involved. There are basics to be learned so that when the creativity begins to flow the mind automatically knows what to do with that information. When it works, though, many artists describe the effect as being in a dream state. Many don’t even realize that they’ve completed a performance. With the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex shut down, it’s like being awake and dreaming at the same time.

What do we take from this? Perhaps we need to take Kierkegaard a bit more seriously when he asserts, “Sleeping is the height of genius.” For some, that may mean breaking up our day so that we have shorter periods between dream states (aka frequent naps). For others, perhaps taking an improv class to learn how to let go of our inhibitions might be appropriate. Everyone is a little bit different, so each solution is going to be somewhat unique.

No matter which path you might take, though, the power of dreaming is real. Let’s tap that source and get creative.

 

 

 

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Art  /  Photography  /  PotD
This Isn’t Art
August 4, 2016
charles i. letbetter - this isn't art

A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament. —Oscar Wilde

 

charles i. letbetter - this isn't art

Adding filters to photographs may provide an interesting effect, but don’t mistake the results for art

The photographs above are not art. The photographs below are not art. We’ve covered this topic before and those who are long-time readers know exactly where I’m going. Adding a bunch of filters to a photograph to make it “look cool” is not art; it has never been, it never will be. All we have here are heavily and spontaneously manipulated photographs. The whole batch took no more than an hour to process from RAW files. I spend more time processing a single portrait.

So, what has set off this latest artistic angst that has me gnashing my teeth? The use of online filters by people who I expect to know better. When the average pedestrian Instagram user applies some stupid filter to their picture, I typically roll my eyes and chalk it up to a certain level of ignorance; they don’t know better. I don’t say anything about horrendously filtered online photographs for the same reason I don’t correct everyone’s grammar: it’s socially rude, even though both are likely to have me banging my head on my desk.

Yet, what I’ve noticed over the past week or so it the frequent use of a new online filter that gives images a sort of stained glass effect. The filter divides the image into a vertical mosaic, blurring out details but keeping just enough information so that one can infer the basic contents of the photograph. Some impressive math work is behind the filter, to be sure, but it still does not make a photograph a work of art.

You Should Know Better

Here’s what has me irked: the filter is being used by professionals who should know better. I’ve seen the filter applied by photographers whose portfolios are impressive. I’ve seen the filter used by designers whose normal work is quite amazing. I’ve even seen one graphic artist who applied the filter to one of his works and then tried to sell it as unique.

Why would a professional engage in such cheap and lazy effects when their other work is of such high quality? How does a professional, especially those whose artistic opinions I normally trust, find such corner-cutting applications acceptable? Is this a sign that we are losing our footing in understanding the difference between art and digital doodling?

Artistic integrity has always been a bit of an oxymoron, but when I see professionals resorting to a free online filter and then presenting the resulting image as though it has any artistic merit is extremely disappointing. I expect, fans and patrons of one’s work expect, an artist to present original work, not something that is duplicated at the touch of a single button. I fully expect artistic professionals to have better judgement.

Filters As Entertainment

Mind you, in the right hands and administered correctly, there can be an appropriate use of filters. Graphic and digital professionals understand how to manipulate filters in conjunction with other processing and artistic techniques. Filters are generally applied only to a specific portion of an image to generate a specific effect. Dozens of layers and masks blend a touch of one filter here with another effect somewhere else until the whole work comes together as a single piece. I have absolutely no problem with carefully considered and detailed use of filters in this way.

Art, however, is not a global application of a single effect. Art is something conceptualized by its creator, even when it doesn’t turn out exactly as one envisioned. There is purpose, there is intent, and there is reasoning behind every brush stroke, every method, and every experiment. The value of art is in the individuality of the work, even if there are others created in similar fashion. That each piece was given its own concept, was separately planned and carefully created is what separates art from cheap wallpaper,

Globally applied filters  are fun at a pedestrian level, perhaps, but they serve no purpose other than as entertainment. A dog’s snout placed over the image of a toddler might be amusing. Rainbow-colored vomit coming from your mother-in-law’s mouth might generate a chuckle or two. Everyone likes to be entertained, but no one in their right mind would confuse such mindless pastimes with art.

Let Me Entertain You

To illustrate my point, I took a collection of images from the archives that share some commonality. They were all shot in the same place, under the same conditions, with the same concept and intent. The models were even posed similarly. When we processed the images for their original intent, I painstakingly worked with each one to achieve a careful nuance and style consistent with the project. What we did here, though, was exactly the opposite. There was no plan. There was no conceptualizing. There certainly wasn’t any over-arching purpose. Instead, I took the approach of, “Hey, what happens when we apply this filter?”

Each image has at least five global filters applied. We partially masked some of the filters so as to make comparison and contrast between them a bit more evident and also to keep the images from becoming boring, which was a real and present danger. We didn’t worry about details, we didn’t correct any problems the filters might have caused. We just pushed buttons and giggled. Well, okay, not really giggled all that much. Actually, we just rolled out eyes and drank more coffee.

The results are, perhaps, mildly entertaining. Sure, the images are different and some people might even find them rather cool because they’re not the normal photograph. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I’m not going to bother defending them if you don’t like them. I’ve nothing invested more than a  few minutes of time.

Playing with filters is just that: playing. These are not works of art. You can do this at home. You certainly won’t find these in my portfolio. I expect to not see anything like them in others’ portfolios, either.

charles i. letbetter - this isn't artcharles i. letbetter - this isn't artcharles i. letbetter - this isn't artcharles i. letbetter - this isn't artcharles i. letbetter - this isn't art

 

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PotD
Stale Bread, Weak Coffee, & Old Photos
August 2, 2016
charles i. letbetter - weak coffee, stale bread, and old photos

In the past, people have looked at photos as a record of memory. The focus has been on the past tense. With Instagram, the focus is on the present tense. —Kevin Systrom

 

charles i. letbetter - stale bread, weak coffee, and old photos

Fighting against asking the question, “What have I done with my life,” I look back at old photos and respond, “Oh yeah, I did this.”

I am having one of those moments of extreme self-doubt this morning. Even the dog didn’t want to stay up and play as he usually does after his morning walk  There’s something about Tuesday where I anticipate bad things to happen and the day rarely lets me down. In order to brace myself for whatever devastating news may come or difficulties take place, I try to keep Tuesdays low key to temper the emotional impact of today’s inevitable disaster.

This morning seems to be taking care of itself, however. I grind my own coffee for use in a french press each morning. Today, though, I look as I’m pouring hot water into the pot and realize I didn’t get all the coffee. I left half of it in the grinder for some reason. My coffee is weak.

Then, looking around for something to occupy the morning munchies, I pick up a piece of toast that might have been leftover from last night’s dinner. Wrong. It was stale beyond palpability. I tried eating it anyway, but no, two bites were all I could handle. The brick-like texture gave way to the taste of sawdust that coated the inside of my mouth with a mush to horrible to swallow.

5:00 AM and today already sucks.

Once Upon A Time …

Life wasn’t always like this, you know. There was a time when things were better, at least from a creative standpoint. Here’s where we put on the rose-colored glasses for the sake of sanity and encouragement. I look back at old photos, pieces that were once in my portfolio but have been dropped due to age, and find some encouragement. As I fight back against this overwhelming feeling of worthlessness, the old photos give me a reason to smile. Maybe everything hasn’t been for naught. After all, I did this.

Of course, that line of thinking only works if I ignore the fact that while I was playing with one of the first print-viable digital cameras and taking hundreds of photos almost every day, the rest of my world was crumbling. One disaster came in after another, usually on Tuesdays, though Wednesday and Thursday couldn’t necessarily be trusted. Employment? Gone. Parents? Dead. Marriage? Kaput.Security? Dissolved.

But now is not the time to dwell on those things. Right now, we need to focus on what was good, what worked, and those images that made me feel good about myself. Something to take my mind off the fact that if this coffee were any weaker it would be water. I hate weak coffee, it’s almost as bad as decaf. I’ll have to make more. Too bad I can’t just say that about the photographs.

Creative Perspiration

Old photos remind me of how much work it is to be creative. I had more energy when these were taken, more drive, and perhaps more motivation. I would sometimes put weeks of effort into researching materials to make sure what we were going to do would actually work. I’ve lost that drive and I’m not sure how to get it back.

What bothers me is that I have more resources at my disposal now in many ways. I have plenty of materials already on hand and know when they’ll work and when they won’t. My need to experiment isn’t quite as great. I can tell Kat what I’m thinking in terms of hair and makeup and know that she understands what I’m wanting.

Other pieces are missing, though, pieces that are difficult to describe and impossible to replace. Perhaps part of what makes me proud of these old photos is how hard I had to work to get some of them.

It’s Still Tuesday

My intent this morning was to share some of those old photos that still inspire me. I thought I would put them in a nice gallery displayed in a slide show. It’s Tuesday, though, so the plug-in that enables that capability has decided to not cooperate. All I can do is post the photos here and hope the mosaic works. I apologize for making you scroll through them all.

While you’re looking at pictures, I’m going to make fresh coffee, strong coffee, and maybe some fresh toast. Or maybe I’ll just have cereal.

Remember when cereal was great?  Yeah, let’s not get started with that one. Old photos are enough reminiscing for one day. Good luck with your Tuesday.

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Current Issues  /  Hashtag Philosophy  /  PotD  /  Social Commentary
The News In 140 Characters
July 30, 2016
charles i. letbetter - the news in 140 characters

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. —Jerry Seinfeld

 

charles i. letbetter - the news in 140 characters

Does anyone read the news anymore or do they just look at the tweets and the headlines?

I saw an interesting editorial cartoon yesterday, which, of course, I didn’t have the foresight to actually save so that I could accurately reference this morning. The cartoon lamented the fact that when historians look back at the exchanges of this presidential election, it will be candidates 140-character tweets they’ll examine rather than anything like the Lincoln-Douglas debates.

The comparison is stark. How news and information is delivered has changed not only in terms of media, but the brevity with which news is delivered. Sure, there will be debates during this campaign cycle,  but even those will ultimately be reduced to sound bites of 140 characters or less.The Twitter limit applies not only to the application, but to the reduced size of our attention spans.

Once upon a time, the details of the news and the excellence of reporting and writing were honored. Winning a Pulitzer prize was an exception because of talent and skill. Now, winning a Pulitzer is an exception because someone actually put in more than 300 words worth of effort. Long-form reporting still happens at places such as the New York Times and Washington Post, but then the media departments of both newspapers instantly find ways to reduce thousands of words to a 140-character tease.

Even here, I create a 140-character excerpt that appears in social media links to the article. Hundreds of people view that excerpt, but only a fraction of those read the article. We frequently use nude imagery not because it has anything to do with the article, but because it is a quick way to get attention.

Tweeting The News

Almost every newspaper of any size now has a media department. That staff is responsible for not only creating 140 character descriptions of articles, but managing and measuring the responses they get to those descriptions. Read through the comments on almost any provocatively written tweet or  Facebook post and it becomes evident that many of the most volatile remarks are made by people who never actually read the article; they’re just responding to their interpretation of what the article might say based on the structure of that tweet.

Great tweet writing is a skill and in today’s media it is just as important as headline writing and copy editing. A well-constructed tweet can bring thousands of eyes to a topic, or can leave one totally ignored. Knowing which hashtag to include, the precise verbiage that is easily understood, is not something that was traditionally taught in journalism schools. Rarely does anyone notice when a tweet is done well. Let a newspaper or politician miscommunicate online, though, usually through a poor choice of words, and watch the shit hit the fan.

To illustrate my point, let me share some of the most recent news tweets across a variety of topics. There’s more information behind each tweet, but how many people will actually bother to click through and read the articles? I’m betting not many. Fewer than 10 percent of readers ever click a link, here or anyplace else on the Internet. Let’s see how you do.

Politics

 

 

 

Information

 

 

 

 

Society

 

 

 

Putting Things In Perspective

How many of those articles did you click through to investigate? Any? Consider that a few short years ago those nine stories would have been enough to fill a 30-minute television newscast (sports and weather aside). In print, they would have dominated the A section of any newspaper. Yet, here you have it all in 140 characters and some well edited GIFs.

I’m old, so it is difficult for me to see this shift as anything other than a loss of information and understanding. Reading through a flurry of tweets, we might come away feeling more intelligent and informed, but we don’t actually know enough about any of those stories to speak knowledgeably and authoritatively. Not that such a lack of information ever stops us. We’re quite willing to go ahead and open our mouths anyway, facts be damned.

What probably bothers me most about this change in how we receive information is that without all the details we are more likely to react harshly, sarcastically, and with suspicion. We don’t trust the tweet because we don’t allow ourselves to gain enough information to understand the full story. We lack compassion. We lose the opportunity to learn. We fail to consider different perspectives. We wander around so ignorant that we don’t recognize ignorance.

If you’ve made it this far into today’s article, you likely already understand. Of the few people who started the article, less than five percent finish. Again,that’s not just true here, but for most any online reading.

Perhaps one day the pendulum will swing back the other direction and we’ll appreciate well-written and ardently-reported stories again. This 140-character world doesn’t work for me. We need more information, not less. I suppose that’s every individual’s choice, though, isn’t it?

Sigh. At least there’s a nude picture at the top.

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Editorial  /  PotD
Running Out Of Coffee
July 28, 2016
charles i. letbetter - running out of coffee

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. —Lewis Black

 

charles i. letbetter - running out of coffee

Think of coffee as a metaphor for that which motivates you. Now, how full is your cup?

If you know me, live and in person, chances are pretty high we have chatted at some point over a cup of coffee. Coffee has been a staple in my diet since I was a teenager and is, most notably, a central part of almost any social event or occasion in which I might participate. I take coffee so seriously that my fiancè used to work at Starbucks, we buy multiple pounds of beans, and we fresh grind every pot we make. We don’t do sloppy coffee.

I can make do without a lot of things, but coffee isn’t one of them. I need that hot, black, motivating liquid in my life or I’m not a pleasant person. Not that the coffee itself makes me happy, but being without it makes me more irritable than normal. Coffee is an important part of my life.

Chances are, coffee is an important part of your life as well. How many people have I met for the first time at a coffee shop? There are new coffee shops popping up all the time, as well. I saw just this morning a request from a new coffee shop for wall art. There are mobile coffee trucks that make the rounds. And in places other than Indiana, there are coffee shops specifically for those with an S&M kink in their lifestyle. I’ve even heard of coffee shops with attractive baristas that were topless, but I’m not sure they’re still in business. Coffee is an important part of American life.

Substitutions Allowed

While I probably could sit here and sing the praises of coffee all day, that is not my purpose. I want you to think of coffee as a metaphor for everything that motivates you. Whether you are pushed forward by a sense of obligation, or family, or finances, or something esoteric, compare what that element does for you and then put coffee in its place.

Think of how dependent you are on the things that motivate you. Consider how encouraging those motivators are. When you wake up in the morning feeling tired and groggy, those motivators are what convince you to put your feet on the floor, get dressed, and start your day. When you hit a slump in the middle of the afternoon and just want to give up, those motivators are what keep you going, push you forward.

We all have something that motivates us to do what we do. Like coffee, they empower us, make us happy, and give us a sense that all is right in the world.  Coffee and motivation seem like a good combination.

When Disaster Strikes

Now, imagine that you wake up one morning and are out of coffee. The motivation is gone. You’re not sure how it happened. There was plenty of coffee yesterday. You’re not aware of anyone stealing your coffee. You’re not sure what happened, but the coffee is gone. Can there be a bigger personal disaster?

Thankfully, we’re not there yet, but that seems to be where we’re headed. Like peering into my cup and finding it less than half-full, I worry that we’re running out of coffee and there’s not going to be another pot made anytime soon. The bag of beans is empty.

We’re forced to make some difficult decisions. Do we go somewhere else for coffee, even if that means a complete change in style and roast? Do we try doing without coffee for a few days in hopes that our coffee might magically return? Or do we move to Brazil and grow the damn beans ourselves? Dealing with a loss of motivation puts us in a precarious place of potentially upending our lives in search  of a reason to continue.

Drink The Coffee Slowly

This is where I’m at this morning: there’s not much coffee left in my cup. I’m running out and I’m not sure I even want to make another pot. What motivated me in the past just doesn’t have the same pull now. I need more depth of meaning. I need stronger justification. I need to avoid those blends that leave a bad feeling in my stomach. As I take another sip from the cup, I realize this coffee isn’t as satisfying as it was when the cup was fresh.

I drink the bottom half of this cup more slowly. I don’t want to run out because I’m not sure I’ll like what replaces it. Coffee cups don’t stay empty for long. There’s always a barista or someone running around refilling everyone’s cup. They don’t always know what you’re drinking, though.

True story: I stopped by an IHOP Sunday night hoping to get some quiet reading time. I ordered a cup of coffee and opened my book. The waitress soon appeared with a fresh cup of coffee and set it on the table. I waited a few seconds then took a sip. This wasn’t coffee. This was tea. I knew it before the rim of the cup hit my  lips. This wasn’t what I ordered.

Change Is Not Always Good

I don’t want tea in my cup. I’m sure of that. Granted, tea is the same color as coffee, has as much or more caffeine as coffee, can be modified in ways similar to coffee, and at times is a much more flexible drink than coffee. Still, tea is not coffee, is it? The two taste quite different.

Motivation is the same way. Not everyone sees the change the same way. What appears to be an even adjustment on the surface may mask the fact that a new motivator is not nearly as effective as the previous one. Changing what motivates us can change our mood, our willingness to cooperate, our desire to push forward. Change can take us from democracy to fascism. Change can take the free and make them slaves. No matter how well slaves might be treated, it’s still slavery. Do we really want to substitute our coffee for tea?

The Problem With Metaphors

Do you understand what I’m saying? I almost feel as though I’m writing in riddles this morning. The problem with metaphors is that not everyone sees the connections the same way I do. What coffee is to motivation might be totally lost on everyone except me. You may not have understood a word I’ve said. You might be sitting here totally confused.

Know that just as my coffee cup will soon be empty, my motivation is in a similar state.  I’m almost empty. I’m not sure things will be the same tomorrow. Maybe there’s more coffee in the pot. Maybe not.

Tomorrow may be different. Maybe I’ll just drink water. Go ahead, chase that metaphor if you will.  My cup is almost empty and I’m not sure I’m getting a refill.

 

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PotD  /  Social Commentary
I Can’t Help You
July 27, 2016
charles i. letbetter - i can't help you

We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves. —Galileo Galilei

 

charles i. letbetter - i can't help you

We always try to help others, but there are times when there’s nothing more we can do.

If you follow us on Facebook, you might have noticed that we rescued a couple of kittens over the weekend. We didn’t feel that we had any choice. They had been dropped off at a neighbor’s house early last week, not even old enough to be fully weened. With temperatures high and the neighbors going out of town for the weekend, to have left them there would have almost certainly been a death sentence.

Catching them wasn’t easy. They had learned quickly how to scamper away and hide from danger. Kat was able to catch one, a girl, almost by accident last Friday. It would be two more days of frequent attempts before she would catch the second. They were dehydrated, hungry, and scared. We brought them in, bathed them, gave them food and love, and are carefully nursing them back to health. The little girl is doing well, but the little boy still has a ways to go.

There are times in our lives when we are like those kittens: alone, helpless, defenseless, and nowhere to turn. Left on our own, many of us might die.  Homeless statistics show that hundreds die every year just from being out in the elements day after day. While there are many wonderful people and organizations who try to help, though, there are always those who fall between the cracks.

Flawed Philosophies

I’ve been there, living out of my car, or living on the street, thankful for friends who made sure I ate occasionally, or got a shower every once in a while. Needing such a severe degree of help is humiliating. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be in that position. Yet, it happens more often than anyone realizes. Even those who gather statistics on the homeless realize there are more that are not counted, perhaps twice as many, as there are those  known.

Help is there for some, but not for all. The general philosophy of most aid organizations, and certainly that of government agencies, is that little to no help is available as long as one appears to have any resources of their own. One local well-known shelter requires that one be completely homeless, on the street with absolutely no other option, for at least 24 hours before they offer any assistance. When these organizations do offer help, the aid comes with a long list of rules, some of which require exposure to proselytizing efforts.

This “strings attached” approach of helping assumes that people will take advantage of any generosity that is not carefully managed, and I’m sure there are several people who might do so. However, such a philosophy hurts those who are genuinely in need.  Not everyone can wait another 24 hours. Not everyone can attend the worship service. Not everyone can jump through the hoops. As a result, thousands fall through the cracks and go without help.

Applying Compassion

A couple of years ago, we were downtown for some large-scale event and had purchased food from one of the event’s vendors. Kat’s food came with pickles that she didn’t really want. So, she removed the pickles, wrapped them in a napkin so as to avoid making a mess, and then set them on top of an already full trash can. Almost immediately, a man who appeared to have not bathed in a while unfolded the napkin and picked the pickles out of the trash.

Kat didn’t hesitate. There was more than enough change from our meal to pay for another. She took the change, placed it in the man’s hands, and encouraged him to buy something more than pickles.

The look on his face was one of surprise. He hadn’t asked anyone for help. He wasn’t panhandling. He wasn’t expecting anyone to give him anything.

Kat acted out of compassion. She didn’t ask him any background questions. She didn’t invite him to a support group or a religious meeting. There was no waiting period. She saw  an opportunity to help and took it, filling a gap others missed.

Compassion-based programs do exist, but they’re few and far between and woefully underfunded. Many potential donors feel the organizations are reckless with their money because they act first and inquire later. Yet, if real need is to be addressed, compassion is the only attitude that is genuinely effective.

The Pain of Saying No

How many times have I heard the words, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you?” Sometimes they were said in anger that I had requested a service the person or agency didn’t want to provide. Some were incredulous that I had even asked them to do anything, such as donate to a charity or support an environmental cause. There are plenty of people who simply don’t want to help anyone, ever.

For those who have an ounce of compassion, however, turning anyone away for any reason, no matter how legitimate that reason might be, comes with pain. I’ve seen government agency workers cry because a mother who was desperately in need of food for her infant was not, on paper, destitute enough to meet the agency’s qualifications. I’ve seen some aid workers break their organization’s rules and give out of their own pockets to someone unable to jump through the hoops.

When one sees a real need and can’t help, turning people away can physically hurt. Yet, when resources are limited, or non-existent, there may be no choice than to utter those fateful words. One might exhaust all they have and still there would be need.

A Different Direction

Perhaps one of the most difficult situations is when we see someone who needs help but doesn’t want help, or doesn’t realize they need the help. The kittens were certainly in that predicament. While we could see they were starting and in need of immediate intervention, they were frightened and suspicious of anyone who came close. Catching them and helping them was, for the kittens, a moment of trauma.

People are not necessarily different. Not everyone sees the imminent danger they’re in because the circumstances give them a distorted perspective. Some have been hurt by those claiming to help. Some are addicted to medicines that were intended to help but now hurt. Helping these people can be almost impossible and traumatic. Yet, they need people  who don’t judge them, who don’t preach to them, but just help.

Too many rules, people trying to turn assistance and help into a profit-making scheme, requirements for insurance and some source of income, make it impossible for those on the margins to get help. We are sentencing them to death every time we say those words, “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

No End In Sight

Ending this article is difficult because there is no end to the problem. For every kitten we are able to save, dozens more die from malnutrition and neglect. For every person we feed, hundreds more are starving. There is no end.

Yet, we continue to do what we can. By tomorrow, we may need help ourselves. Nothing is certain. Even the best of intentions sometimes fail. As we are helping others, the thought creeps into the back of our minds, “Will anyone be there when we need help?” The prospects of how alone we might be in such a situation motivate us to help those already there.

We can’t heal all the world’s hurts, address everyone’s most urgent needs, on our own. We know that. We give help to both humans and animals when we encounter them and have the ability to do something right then. We try to not be the ones who push people off to government or religious organizations. We especially try to not say, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.” We do our best to give real help to real need.

What about you? If I asked you for help today, what would be your response? Think about it and then look around you. Someone close needs your help. Don’t be the one who turns them away.

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Photography  /  PotD  /  Social Commentary
Learning For Yourself
July 25, 2016
charles i. letbetter - learning for yourself

We now accept the fact that learning is a lifelong process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn. —Peter Drucker

 

charles i. letbetter - learning for yourself

Learning as adults comes more often through what we teach ourselves

Back-to-school season is officially here. Local news stations are reminding drivers this morning to watch for the flashing lights of school zones as a staggered start to the fall school season begins this week. Stores are packed with parents shopping for school supplies and uniforms while children are making every attempt to get the most out of their summer.

We’re no different around here, though it is rather complicated. Kat is on the closing end of her studies, planning to graduate in early October. My youngest son decided to do his final year of high school here, so we’re busy getting him transferred before the 10th. The one I’m looking forward to the most, though, is when the little ones start back to school next Monday. Finally, peace and quiet again!

At the same time, however, we need to realize that learning isn’t limited to what happens in and around school. Intelligent people have long known that learning never stops. Even more, it’s what you learn on your own that often makes the most difference in our lives as we grow older. The classroom gives us a foundation for how to learn, but learning is something that we must keep doing if we are to have any hope of understanding what’s going on around us.

Learning Versus Obsolescence

Try this on for size: much of what you were taught is already obsolete.The older you are the truer that statement is. Word definitions change. Science changes. Technology changes. Limits once considered insurmountable are suddenly surpassed and exceeded several times over. Our understanding of history changes. Even the difference between political parties change.

Carlin Flora wrote a wonderful article for Psychology Today on “The Golden Age of Teaching Yourself Anything.” The article emphasizes the degree to which both technology and social construct make self-learning accessible across such a wide spectrum of knowledge that most anyone has the potential to become an expert in anything without ever setting foot in a classroom. Perhaps more importantly, though, is that such self-learning is critical to remaining a productive part of society.

What looked like occupations that would have no end 30 years ago are now, in many cases, either obsolete or else employ such a common level of skill as to have become commodities. Basic computer operation, for example, once required considerable training and an understanding of abstract math. Now, the average 16-year-old can perform tasks that exceed the abilities of a masters-level computer science major from the 1980s. Self-learning isn’t an option, but a necessity.

Beyond The School

James Marcus Bach in his book, Secrets of a Buccaneer-Scholar says:

I happily plunder knowledge wherever I find it. I don’t seek the destruction of schools. I am out to dismantle something else—the popular belief that schooling is the only route to a great education and that the best students are those who passively accept the education their schools offer.”

Schools are wonderful in their ability to give everyone a basic foundation for how to learn. However, they don’t even come close to teaching us everything we need to know. To assume that one graduates from an institution no longer needing to learn is foolish. Learning only increases as life progresses.

Take Dick Drew, for example. In 1925 Drew was a sandpaper salesman for 3M, which was then largely a minerals company. While attempting to sell sandpaper to mechanics at a body shop, he observed the difficulty painters were having with two-toned paint jobs. Skipping over all the fun details, this sandpaper salesman learned about paint, learned about adhesives, and invented masking tape. The world has never been the same.

Learning all we can about as many different areas as we can increases both our critical and creative thinking. The more information we have stored on the left side of our brain, the more creative connections can develop on the right side of our brain. If we are having problems with a creative block, the answer may very well be learning something new.

Breaking Barriers To Learning

Many of us went through school at a time when pedagogical theory focused on different students having a different learning style. One student might be said to be a more visual learner, one who doesn’t pick up information from reading, but does from seeing a task done. Others were said to be tactile learners: they gained information by completing a task themselves. Guess what: the whole theory might have been wrong.

Flora’s article looks at the “rigorous analysis” by Christian Jarrett, a cognitive scientist and the creator of the British Psychological Society’s Research Digest blog.  Jarrett doesn’t seem to believe in learning styles. He says:

Although each of us is unique, usually the most effective way for us to learn is based not on our individual preferences but on the nature of the material we’re being taught.

The example Flora uses is this: “Novices learn better from examples; more expert learners benefit from solving problems. And combining activities, such as drawing a diagram of a cell after reading about it, improves learning for just about everyone.”

Taking Jarrett’s theory to an applicable end means that anyone can learn anything. The potential is not limited to a learning style that might make resources unavailable. If you want to learn something, do so.

Conquering The Fear Of Learning

If learning is so accessible, then why aren’t more of us taking advantage of that opportunity?  We’re scared. We’re insecure. We don’t want to fail … again. When we are not confident in ourselves then we are less likely to explore. We shelve our curiosity in favor of sticking with what we know.

New and developing technology may be the most frequent example for people of my generation and older. We’re comfortable enough with the technologies that were developed when we were younger. But now that technology is largely obsolete. We hear people talking about the Internet of Things and not only do we not understand what that is, we are, as a group, generally afraid to find out. We don’t like feelings of stupidity, ignorance, or inadequacy. These new technologies raise those emotions so we avoid learning to dodge the emotion.

One factor that may contribute to our shyness is our experience in competitive environments. When we’ve been made to feel that we are not smart enough, that our ideas aren’t quite good enough, that we’re not “winners,” we feel inadequate. We don’t trust our ability to learn enough to contribute to any substantial change.

What we must realize is that how smart you are doesn’t matter nearly as much as being open to learning more from whatever source might deliver it. Having an attitude that you can learn, that you want to learn, allows one to learn in greater quantity, sometimes without being consciously aware that learning is taking place.

Redefining Success

Curiosity drives our growth and spurs our interests into different fields of learning. The final challenge is realizing that we don’t have to know it all. Success isn’t determined by the amount of knowledge we accumulate, but by how we utilize the information we have. The student of physics doesn’t have to run a particle accelerator to relate theories of attraction and velocity to more esoteric applications.

We all have the ability to learn. Learning helps keep our brains active and may (not making any promises here) help ward off early onset dementia and Alzheimer’s. Success lies in the fact that we know more at the end of today than we did at the beginning.

With so much information at our fingertips, learning has never been so accessible to so many. Whether you can create the structure necessary for self-learning or if you need the guidance of a teacher, the door is wide open. Explore. Discover. Be amazed.

 

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PotD
Doing Sex Better
July 24, 2016
charles i. letbetter - doing better sex

There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. —Billy Joel

 

charles i.letbetter - doing sex better

Sex is wonderful, but it can almost always be better

I’ve noticed that the articles where we talk about sex are among the most popular. Everyone likes to talk about sex. I have a feeling, though, that’s more because everyone enjoys fantasizing about sex. Actual experiences vary. A lot.

There are millions of articles across the Internet addressing the topic of how to have better sex. Most of them say the same thing: Relax, communicate with your partner, blah, blah, blah. Those are all things everyone should know by now. If you don’t, you’re just not paying attention. If you’re not paying attention then you’re not going to have good sex.

I recently came across a female oriented article about better ways to reach orgasm. I’ve long been an advocate of men reading articles directed toward women, especially if your partner has already mentioned that they like the article. That’s a hint, guys. Read the fucking article! This particular article goes a little beyond the norm, though. So, let’s see if I can put a co-ed spin on their five topics. Guys, pay attention.

Set the Mood

To some extent, this is one of those areas almost every sex article mentions, and with good reason. Guys will have sex anywhere. Doesn’t matter how uncomfortable it is or how inappropriate the place may be. Aesthetics don’t bother guys at all. They’re getting sex. They’re happy.

Women, on the other hand, are very sensitive to their surroundings. While being spontaneous is okay on occasion, more often than not they want to be comfortable. They want their surroundings to be agreeable with what you’re about to do. This doesn’t mean it has to be in the same place doing the same thing every time. Vary the mood from soft and romantic to hard and passionate. There are dozens of options that will work for her.

Be sensitive, though. She may like it rough, but having gravel digging into her knees may be a bit much if she’s been on her feet all day. Music is nice, but if she’s been surrounded by noise something quieter might help her mood. This is all about her, guys. You know you aren’t as affected. Take care of your partner and get the mood right.

Get in position

This is where watching too much porn can get you into trouble. Rolling around on the sheets with a new position every two or three minutes isn’t going to do it for most women. Instead of being satisfied, you both just end up exhausted. If you’re perspiring, it should be from passion, not because you’ve completed all the steps to a 30 minute cardio workout in five minutes.

Position matters a lot to women, both in terms of pleasure and, if you’re trying, her ability to get pregnant (not that there are “safe” positions, mind you; don’t be stupid). Find the positions that feel best for your partner, three or four at most, and make those the focal point of your sexual adventure. Sure,  you can mix them up and try modest variations, but if the purpose is mutual pleasure then work the positions that excite your partner the most.

Guys, this is especially important if your partner has difficulty achieving orgasm. Your fiddling and wiggling around is a distraction. She needs you to focus on what you’re doing. Pay attention to what works and stay the fuck away from what doesn’t. If she’s crying when you’re done, you blew it and it’s most likely right here that you failed.

Try a New Sensation

Here’s a common predicament: Only one or two positions work for your partner, but then he/she complains that the sex is boring. Been there? More than a few people have. The solution to that problem involves a little bit of experimentation. If you grew up in a strict religious household, as I did, this may mean you need to do some research.

Fortunately, we live in the age of the Internet and if there is one topic on which the Internet is an endless source of information, it’s sexual variety. The biggest danger here is that your virgin eyes are likely to see something you’ll wish you hadn’t seen. You might also need to adjust the safe surfing controls on your web browser.

For many, the most simple sensations can have a dramatic impact. Being blindfolded delivers an element of surprise, and maybe even mystery. Being tied to the bed requires releasing control to your lover. Nipple clamps that are adjustable are a good way to get just the right amount of pain without going too far. Using her toys on her can be especially productive. The options are almost endless.

Use (Good) Lube

One often doesn’t realize the importance of a good lube until they’ve had an especially painful experience without it. Guys, this is the one time it may not actually be your fault. While I’m not sure I trust the various studies out there, somewhere between 40-60 percent of women have problems with vaginal dryness. This is a medical condition that sometimes, in extreme cases, requires a doctor’s attention.

What’s important is that you work the use of lube into your sex so that it doesn’t interrupt the flow. Have it handy, along with a towel or wipe, know how much to use, and how to apply it in an erotic and effective manner.

Even more important is that you use the right lube. This is where it can get tricky because not everything that’s advertised actually does the job. You should always use a water based lube. This is more sanitary, works well with condoms, and comes closer to working with a woman’s natural body chemistry. Be careful, though, of those claiming to have spermicides or increase erection times. The spermicides don’t always work and the erection aids often burn and can cause a rash.  Lelo has a good list of moisturizers.

Forget how You Think You SHOULD be Masturbating

Yes, masturbation is an important part of the sexual experience for a couple just as it is when one is alone. The problem here stems from the fact that almost none of us get any instruction in how to masturbate safely and correctly. Let’s face it, as difficult as it was to get the birds-and-bees talk from your parents, hearing them talk about masturbating would be excruciating.

Mutual masturbation can be the key to bringing your partner to orgasm, though. There are a number of reasons why the normal (and abnormal) sex positions don’t allow someone to reach orgasm. Stress, lingering fever from a recent illness, too much food or alcohol, too high, or being too distracted are some of the more common situations that can keep one from finishing well.

Masturbation allows one to relax, removes the pressure of performance anxiety, and focus directly on stimulating the areas that respond the best without wearing anyone out. Again, be sure to use a good personal moisturizer. This might also be a good time for some dirty talk if that helps. Don’t be too forceful, don’t grip too tightly, don’t be afraid to use toys to aid in stimulation, and don’t lose your focus.

Never Stop Learning

No matter how many  times you’ve had sex nor the combination of methods you’ve tried, there is always something new to learn. Be open to exploration both on your own and with your partner(s). We are fortunate to live in an age where healthy sexual relationships are encouraged, even if it’s still not exactly a topic of conversation for the dinner table.  Follow the path of what feels right for you.

Better sex is possible. There’s no reason to not start making it so today.

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PotD  /  Social Commentary
Just The Facts
July 23, 2016
charles i. letbetter - just the facts

Prejudice is a great time-saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. —E. B. White

 

charles i. letbetter - just the facts

Everyone has their opinion, and numbers can be easily skewed but the facts are indisputable

Making clear decisions is difficult at times. When emotion and tradition say one thing but facts and raw numbers go a different direction, finding a point of reconciliation between the two seems impossible.

I’m not sure there is any issue that illustrates this fact than does the debate across the United States over guns and whether there should be any level of governmental control. I have plenty of liberal friends who are fine with the concept of no one having guns at all, including police. I have a sufficient number of conservative friends for whom even mentioning the words “gun control” borders on infringing the Second Amendment.

Philosophies on both sides are well known and I’m not going to embrace either one because both are severely flawed. The point of today’s article is not to take a side on any portion of the gun debate. Rather, to look at the numbers, the one set of indisputable facts, and see what they tell us.

The numbers related to gun deaths I’m looking at were compiled the website FiveThirtyEight. Their research was exhaustive and goes much deeper than I have time to  regurgitate here. If the issue is a strong one for you, I strongly encourage you to read their article and follow the links.

Talking Points

I know sorting through raw numbers can be challenging. Drawing correlations and finding trends and patterns takes a lot of time. Sometimes one’s attitude gets in the way of finding the facts. So, before we drill down too deep, let’s take a look at some of the major talking points to come out of the FiveThirtyEight research.

  • There are more than 33,000 annual gun deaths in America
  • Nearly two-thirds of gun deaths are suicides
  • More than 85 percent of suicide victims are male …
  • More than half of all suicides are men age 45 or older.
  • Another third of all gun deaths — about 12,000 in total each year — are homicides
  • More than half of homicide victims are young men …
  • … Two-thirds of whom are black.
  • Women are far less likely to be gun homicide victims — about 1,700 of them are killed each year, many in domestic violence incidents.
  • The remaining gun deaths are accidents or are classified as undetermined.

There are many different ways to die, but for these numbers the one thing they have in common, often the only thing they have in common, is a gun. The actual reasons for the violence vary tremendously. Gun violence is not a single point issue. We must get past the idea that there is a single solution that solves all gun deaths. The problems are much, much deeper.

Most Likely To Die

Let’s start with the top level number and move down from there.

There were 33,599 gun deaths in the year 2014

  • 28,783 gun deaths are males
  • 4,816 gun deaths are female

The picture there is pretty stark: men are more likely to die from gun violence than women. The difference is extreme. But while that looks as though we have a problem with men running around shooting each other, the reality is quite different.

The leading cause of death among men, especially those 45 or older, is suicide. We touched briefly on this topic earlier this year when new suicide statistics were released. However, when we look at the numbers in relationship to gun violence. The facts don’t point to open carry laws or assault rifles as being the primary problem. Instead, mental health and economic issues are where we need to focus our attention if we want to bring down the largest set of numbers.

And there’s the problem. We’re more than happy to yell and scream about guns, but you don’t see many people protesting over access to mental health care or the death rate due to poverty. Those are facts we’d rather ignore. They make us uncomfortable.

Killing Each Other

Interestingly enough, this is one area where the numbers are going down and have been for nearly 20 years. Attributing the decline to any one cause, such as gun laws or better policing, is coming at the problem with skewed vision. If we want to find all the solutions, we have to look deeper.

11,726 gun deaths are homicides. 9,935 are male, 1,791 are female. Those numbers include every form of homicide: during the commission of a robbery, domestic disputes, arguments between “friends,” drug-related crime, “honor” killings, gang-related hits, police-involved shootings. There are even more causes if one wants to drill down further. Each cause represents a unique problem. Each problem must be addressed individually. Just because they all have guns in common doesn’t mean that addressing the gun issue solves the problem.  

Oh, and look at this: Only 3,049 homicides are white. 6,503 are black, 1,878 are Hispanic, 186 are Asian, and 109 are native American. That’s victim count, mind you. Blacks are being killed at twice the rate of whites. We have to realize that, to some extent, the rate of homicide is more of a race issue than a gun issue. 

It’s Not My Fault

Accidental deaths, especially those of children, always get a lot of play in the media. Who doesn’t feel bad that a toddler’s life is snuffed out by a playmate who found a gun in a drawer? These  are emotional issues that get a lot of people talking, but too often they don’t have the facts to make an accurate statement.

Here are the real numbers: 427 gun deaths are of people under 15, 59 of those are accidents, 221 are homicides. Homicides. Children intentionally being killed. Mostly by adults. While accidents pull on our heart strings, that’s not the bigger problem, is it?

Accidental gun deaths occur most often among people ages 15 to 34. 210 accidental deaths were reported within that age group during the year. Then, for an interesting racial spin, they are more likely to be white males.  102 is the number there. Almost half. Call it the Bubba Factor, good ol’ boys just playing around, not paying attention. “Hey look, ya’ll, watch this …” becomes their last words. So, where’s the campaign against carelessness?

Our Fear Of Terror

One of the more interesting items in the FiveThirtyEight article is finding out that Mother Jones maintains what may be the most complete and accurate table of mass shootings. I would have expected some government entity, or a branch of the United Nations perhaps, to have taken on that responsibility. You can see the full table for yourself at the Mother Jones website.

Terrorism numbers are not included in the 33,599 deaths mentioned above. Terrorism is not a gun issue. Terrorism is a terror issue, a matter of war, and can only be resolved by addressing it as such, even if the “terrorist” is a lone gunman with a personal agenda. Guns are never the issue in these situations. Just last week, we saw how one terrorist used a truck, of all things, to kill nearly 100 people in Nice, France.

At the same time, however, keeping assault weapons out of the hands of terrorists, whether foreign or domestic, is a facet of that conversation. Again, let me say it one more time, there is no single-point solution to any  of these problems!

Stay Calm & Think Rationally

The facts of gun violence show a very different picture than what is represented in the media. Looking at raw numbers removes a lot of the emotion we get from reading an article online or watching the video of a single event. Numbers give us a chance to gain a bit of perspective and logic.

After all this, here’s one last number to throw at you: 33,599 is less than .0001% of the total US population. More people die of cancer. More people die of heart disease. More people die of causes related to obesity.

I don’t say that to diminish the importance of gun violence.  Cancer doesn’t kill you while you’re walking down the street. Obesity doesn’t happen by accident. We all want to feel safe. I merely want to put the issue into some perspective.

Guns are not the bane of society.

The Second Amendment is not sacred text.

When both sides decide to get off their high horse, stop being do damned defensive and look at the facts, then maybe we can begin to make some progress.

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Fashion  /  PotD  /  science
Wearing Someone Else’s Skin
July 21, 2016
charles i. letbetter - someone else's skin

I’m confident – confident in my skin, and I’m cool with my flaws and all that stuff. —Minka Kelly

 

charles i. letbetter - wearing someone else's skin

Fashion technology is giving us some great things, but are we ready to wear someone else’s skin?

I’m sure there are times when many of us wish we could bring back someone from history, at least for a while. We miss the intellect, the insight, and the talent of many who are gone. But, what would we do if someone from history really did come back—as a coat? That very thing may well be possible. Quartz is reporting that Tina Gorjane is growing replicas of Alexander McQueen’s skin. Why? To make coats and handbags.

Yes, you read that correctly. Ms. Gorjane is developing a new technique to “grow” skin based on a DNA sample from McQueen’s hair, which was obtained with permission. The process isn’t speedy. Getting enough material for even a handbag has yet to actually happen. Ms. Gorjane has been using pig skin as a prototype until there is enough of McQueen’s skin to develop a product. Even once she has samples available to show, we’re still not going to see products on the shelves anytime soon.

The very fact that Ms. Gorjane is experimenting with DNA products raises some interesting questions, though. Who has a right to use your DNA? Is it ethical to wear someone else’s skin? And how is this all not just a little bit creepy?

You’re Wearing Who?

On one hand, I can see where wearing the artificially grown DNA of another person, especially someone who had as much of an impact on fashion as Alexander McQueen, is attractive. Not only might we want to “wear” McQueen or Miuccia Prada or maybe even Karl Lagerfeld (shudder), we might also think a coat made of great-grandma is a good idea, or a handbag made from the DNA of a deceased spouse. I can appreciate how people might come to look at such DNA products as a form of flattery or even affection.

What’s not certain just yet is exactly how durable such products are going to be. The DNA will grow new skin, not the wrinkled and worn stuff that seemed to hang off grandma’s bones before she died. However, the process has the ability to duplicate things such as moles and scars. Ms. Gorjane apparently plans to duplicate some of the tattoos McQueen had, which could be interesting. The material is also subject to sunburn, though. Imagine having to apply SPF 30 to your jacket before going out.

We’re so accustomed to seeing new types of fabric that we’re not likely to immediately notice that someone is wearing someone else. But when you ask someone who they’re wearing, a common question among those interested in fashion, you’re probably not ready for someone to come back with an answer like, “Oh, I’m wearing my family. My blazer is my grandfather, my skirt is my Aunt Jane,  my handbag is my sister, and my shoes are my Dad.” It could happen.

Who Can Be Worn?

One of the more debatable aspects of this technology is exactly where the line is on using people’s DNA. Laws regarding DNA ownership vary from one country to the next. In the United States, for example, you do not own discarded DNA material. So, in theory, someone could take a strand of hair you left behind on a chair and develop a whole line of wearable products based on your DNA. They would not need to ask your permission, give you any credit, nor pay you for anything. Laws are slightly different across Europe, but still light enough as to leave the field open to random harvesting of castoff DNA samples.

As a person, we have a surprisingly little right to our own DNA. DNA cannot be copyrighted or patented. There is no way to legal limit how or who uses one’s DNA at the present time. Neither is there any limit to the number of times or methods through which it can be reproduced. Ms. Gorjane’s process is currently a very slow and tedious approach, which likely prevents the creation and stockpiling of large amounts of McQueen’s skin. However, should these DNA products prove commercially popular, it is quite likely that someone else would look for a way to speed up the process. What would, for now, be an extreme luxury product would almost certainly hit mainstream within a few years, creating a tremendous demand for DNA-based material.

To her credit, Ms. Gorjane did ask permissions of everyone involved in her use of McQueen’s hair as a base sample (except his surviving relatives, who are not involved in the project). History shows that we cannot expect others to be as careful, however. Laws are nowhere close to addressing these issues, either. Should the process become reasonably widespread, one could be contributing to garments around the world and never have any idea their DNA is being used.

What Are The Odds?

So, one person, a student at that, is experimenting with wearable skin. What’s the big deal? Is this really an idea that is likely to take off? Anything is possible. Luxury houses have already been investing in bioengineering companies that are likely to produce results similar to Ms. Gorjane’s. Some type of DNA-based product seems almost inevitable.

That’s not to say that it is human skin being developed. The same technology is being considered as a possible replacement for the fashion industry’s heavy use of leather products. Being able to produce leather without having to kill animals would remove a lot of the criticism the industry faces on a regular basis.

For the moment, though, growing skin is an extremely expensive method of creating material. The process is slow and requires very precise development conditions. While luxury houses might find the material usable on small collections, large-scale implementation is not economically feasible at this point. At the same time, legal considerations are likely to increase and may provide further hurdles to any widescale use of DNA material.

Imagine The Possibilities

Ms. Gorjane’s research opens the door to tremendous possibilities. Using DNA to grow skin has already been used with burn patients, but with some of the same slow issues. Were the fashion industry to find a way to make the process faster, the same technology could have amazing medical benefits as well. Where pure research can be slow and plodding at times, commercial involvement may speed up the process for other biological concerns providing broader benefit outside the industry.

Then, there’s also the possibility that one might be able to wear a nude-colored skin suit that actually looks nude, nipples and other body features included. Technically, one isn’t nude if wearing someone else’s skin, are they? Perhaps the skin could be used as a lining behind other sheer fabrics as well.

But then, what if a person who is light skinned wears clothing derived from the DNA of a person who was dark skinned? I’m not sure anyone has even considered how this fabric might impact discussions of race and even cultural appropriation.

At the moment, the issue raises more questions than answers. The potential sounds both exciting and frightening at the same time. Skin over skin could be one of the biggest developments in the history of fashion, though. We’ll watch anxiously.

 

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