Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath. —Lyndon B. Johnson
Saturday morning is a perfect time to catch up on the trailers for movies we don’t have time to see
Who doesn’t remember the joy of Saturday morning when we were kids? Anyone born before, oh, let’s say 2000 or so, probably still remembers getting up on Saturday mornings and binge watching cartoons while consuming large amounts of processed sugar in whatever form we could convince our parents to buy. For my brother and me, it was cold cereal. For my kids, it was french toast sticks. We would sit there and watch one cartoon show after another, sad when the networks switched to sports around noon, sometimes 11:00.
Kids today don’t understand why Saturday mornings were once so very special; they have Netflix and Cartoon Network and can watch animated programs anytime they want until their eyeballs bleed. Gone are the days of Bugs Bunny and friends, Hannah-Barbera’s predictability, and Sid & Marty Kroft’s strange puppetry. No wonder this generation of kids is so messed up: they don’t know the fear of a coyote possibly dropping an anvil on their heads.
Saturday was also once movie night. While new movies have typically been released on Fridays for more than 60 years, it’s still Saturday night, date night, that traditionally was the biggest movie draw. Again, that has been usurped by Netflix, streaming, and sheer exhaustion. We know we’re adults when we sit home on Saturday nights hoping the phone doesn’t ring.
There are also cost and time factors to going to the movies and for me, personally, that tends to limit my activity more than anything. Saturdays are often typical work days for me. By the time I get done, assuming there’s such a thing as done, I couldn’t stay awake through one no matter how good it might be. I still love movies, though. So, I’ve taken to watching trailers on Saturday mornings, typically early before the kids are up and I have to be concerned about the content. Not that I’ll ever get to actually watch any of the movies whose trailers excite me. I suppose they’ll eventually make it to Netflix. And no, it’s not lost on me that we now wait for movies to be on streaming services much like we once waited for them to be shown on network television.
Anyway, rather than just sitting here and talking about it for another 500 words, why don’t I just share some of the trailers I’m watching this morning? If you get to actually see the movies in theaters, please let me know how they were. My Netflix cue is already pretty full, so any help keeping that manageable is appreciated. I should probably also state that the presence of a trailer here does not imply endorsement of the movie. Even bad movies can have good trailers.
Here’s what I’m watching this morning.
X-Men: Apocolypse
Put this in your religious mythology pipe and smoke it. Could deities actually be mutants? And if so, what happens when that mutant deity isn’t a nice person? Probably something like this:
Ben-Hur
For anyone who remembers the original with Charleston Heston, there’s no way this version isn’t going to be a disappointment. Even with Morgan Freeman in the cast, the look and feel of the movie just isn’t the same. I’m also wondering if this isn’t another case of us knowing too much about a period for us to be entertained by its barbarity. Still, if you like action, and I do, this may have potential.
The Legend of Tarzan
I doubt Edgar Rice Burroughs ever imagined that he was penning the underlying premise for a stream of movies that continues to morph with every generation. Tarzan has been movie fodder almost from the very beginning of cinema. So, here’s another take, perhaps a little more real and with a very different concept of romance. Can it match the book? Probably not, but all those CGI animals could make it interesting.
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Oh my. If ever there were a movie destined to become an instant classic, this may be it. Ransom Rigg’s novel has been a children’s favorite for years and now it gets the full Tim Burton treatment with all the special effects and interesting camera angles he brings to a story. Granted, I’m not sure this is going to be appropriate for little ones, but for anyone who is old enough to actually read and understand the book, this may well be a visual delight.
The Man Who Knew Infinity
Some movies we watch to escape. Some movies we watch for the spectacle. Then, there are those rare movies that inspire us. This movie has that potential. With the power of actors Jeremy Irons, Dav Patel, and Stephen Fry, amazing things could happen in this movie. We need a movie like this to not just be good, but life-altering. Let’s hope it achieves that goal.
Things bog down when I put more than five videos on a page, so we’ll have to stop there for now. After all, it is Saturday. You have things to do. I have things to do. The fantasy world of cartoons and movies can’t last forever, can it?
Well, there is always Netflix …
Morning Update: 08/11/24
If I were a church-going person, and I’m not, I would be struggling this morning. Tipper did end up going with her school friend to the fair, but it was almost 7:00 PM before they picked her up and they stayed until the fair closed at 11:00. The trip almost didn’t happen. Her friend was dependent on their mother to drive and Mom didn’t seem to feel the same urgency the kids did. Tipper was close to canceling when she finally got the message that they were on their way.
It was almost midnight when she got home, and, of course, I couldn’t go to sleep until I knew she was back safely. She was excited, having won a stuffed elephant and purchased a unique water bottle. She wanted to pet all the cats and talk about the trip, so it was after 12:30 this morning before I crawled under the covers. I’m only awake now because the cats are on a schedule and demand to be fed on time. The dogs need to go out before I type the next paragraph.
[Hoo boy. Took the dogs out for about 10 minutes. Tipper joined me and we talked more about the fair. When we came back in, though, I was hit with really strong dizziness that has yet to go away. I’m sitting down and am safe for now, but if this doesn’t get better I’ll have to cut things short.]
G spent a large part of yesterday sprawled across his bed doing math; multiplying polynomials, specifically. What are polynomials? They’re letters and numbers all mixed up and doing stuff. Technically, Â an expression which is composed of variables, constants, and exponents, that are combined using mathematical operations such as addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. You know, the kind of math that causes mere mortals to go insane. G was doing them on purpose. All morning. He then took a long nap cuddled with a cat. He likes it when the house is quiet. He also likes it when he’s not forced to interact with anyone else. So, I’m guessing it was a pretty good day for him, too.
I’m not seeing a lot of news this morning that warrants any comment. Of course, I’m sure there are people who are upset that Jordan Chiles has to return her bronze medal. I get it, but the Romanians were quick to challenge the decision and the matter was adjudicated by a court, so I’m not surprised. I’m not saying it’s fair, but I’m not surprised.
With the Olympics ending today, all eyes turn next to Los Angeles for the 2028 Summer Games. LA is already making the games interesting by announcing that the entire Olympic venue will only be accessible by public transportation. No cars. Given how horrid LA traffic is, I can see where this decision makes sense. They’re going to have to greatly improve their transit system, though, if they want things to go smoothly. Like many urban transit systems, the vehicles are dirty, smelly, and unreliable. If they don’t step up their game considerably, the whole thing could be a disaster.
However, there could be some alternatives. If you were watching early this morning, US time, you might have gotten a glimpse at the Volocopter, an autonomous air taxi, as it provided a test flight over Paris. They couldn’t get all the paperwork done in time for the service to be available for these games, but backers are anxiously hoping to have the service operational for the LA Games. I see some challenges, to be sure, but they have four years to work those out. Tesla’s autonomous taxis, though, still won’t be allowed even if they work without killing someone or blowing up.
The New York Times is boring today as well, which is disappointing. Normally, I head straight for the Times Magazine, but it’s a rare yawner today. There is an interesting article about the “orgasm gap” that women still experience but I would have liked a little more science and depth to the piece. So much of what I’m seeing seems redundant, remixed leftovers from what we’ve been reading all week. Even the opinion pieces feel “meh.”
Maybe I’m just difficult to please.
I’m still not feeling great, though. I may go back to bed after checking in with the kids. I should probably check my blood pressure, too.
There’s always something wrong. Fucking cancer.
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