Awareness You Can’t Escape

Awareness You Can’t Escape

July 1, 2016

The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival. —Aristotle

Awareness sometimes requires cultivation. Other times, one cannot escape it.

Awareness is a state of consciousness, the point at which we realize something exists and are able to understand that existence, at least, in part. Sometimes, awareness has to be carefully cultivated. Physics, for example, holds various levels of awareness, the deepest of which only come with intense learning. Other matters, however, are more straightforward, perhaps even blunt. All one needs to know in order to respond appropriately can be said in a matter of seconds. Fire, for example, is hot. Even a baby understands after the briefest experience that fire is hot.

Every day, we develop more awareness. Perhaps we see a new store or read a new book. Maybe we have a conversation with a friend. Everything we do has the potential to increase our awareness. Even watching commercials.

Each year, at Cannes, the best advertising campaigns are presented and given awards based upon the quality of work. Some do an amazing job of selling a product. Others blaze new trails in technological innovation. What always strikes the hardest, though, are those that create awareness. These are the ads that make you stop and think, and give you information that leads you to act, become involved, and begin conversations.

Of this year’s winners in the film and film craft categories, four gold winners did an amazing job at creating awareness. I want to share those with you. Watch each one and let them change you.

Make Love, Not Scars

Acid. The word immediately raises warnings of danger for most teens and adults. While there are many legitimate uses for acid, however, one of the most frequent is as a weapon of personal destruction. We don’t see as many acid attacks in the United States. Awareness is low because it is usually treated as a felony assault and handled through local justice systems. Elsewhere in the world, however, acid attacks are devastating. In countries were various forms of acid are sold openly and are easily obtainable, acid attacks are a common form of personal vendetta. Most of the victims are women. Many victims are under the age of 18.

Ogilvy & Mather Mumbai created the following piece to raise awareness of this horrible issue. Incidents involving acid attacks are growing, but governments are doing little to stop them. The piece is short. Please watch. If you are inclined to investigate further, please visit Acid Survivors Foundation.

Never Alone

For many gay people, coming out to one’s family and friends is one of the most frightening experiences of their lives. One can never be quite certain how people might respond. Will they be accepting? Will they be angry? Will this be the end of relationships?

If one is captain of the Wales national rugby team, that fear is overwhelming. Rugby is a tough sport, one of those games allegedly created for and played by only the manliest of men. Gareth Thomas faced that fear. What he discovered, however, was that he was part of a team that had his back, no matter what anyone said. With millions of fans, there were inevitably some who didn’t understand. Still, the team supported Gareth and they continued to win games.

Guinness sponsored the award-winning film piece developed by AMV BBDO London and produced by Stink London. There’s no mention of beer here, though. No one goes out and has a pint at the end. Instead, the emphasis is on the power of a team, supporting those whose lifestyles are often vilified and misunderstood. Everyone who comes out as gay, lesbian, bi, or transgender needs a team behind them. Be part of the team. The version that won the award is below. You can watch Gareth’s full story here.

https://youtu.be/rBOTKSQ89M8

Manboobs

Censorship on social media is severe. Most apps assume that anything on your computer or especially on your phone is accessible to minors. Argue all you want, I know all too well how difficult it is to keep sensitive materials away from little hands and prying eyes. Once children reach a certain age, the more one tries to deter them the more determined they are to see what’s there.

However, that censorship becomes a complete pain in the ass for organizations trying to raise awareness for things such as, oh, let’s say breast cancer. Talking about breast cancer becomes exceptionally difficult when one can’t show real breasts. How does an organization teach women how to check for lumps, an extremely important form of early detection, if they can’t show breasts?

Some brilliant minds at the David agency in Buenos Aires came up with a creative way to address those problems for an Argentinian awareness and support organization, MACMA. The spot comes with a bit of humor but is also extremely informative. Viewers are then encouraged to make their own video. If you care to do so, let me know. We’ll be happy to help.

https://youtu.be/Ais88Os_CTg

Dear Daddy

Our final piece hits really, really close to home. Until I had a daughter of my own, I didn’t think much about the vocabulary I used and tolerated from others. I didn’t give as much thought to what might be harmful. In watching and helping Tippy grow, I’ve learned that even the most innocuous, unintentional things we do and say truly matter.

We are moderately aware to the sensitive nature of body image. However, this piece developed for Care, Norway, raises awareness to a whole new level by putting it in terms that are inescapable. Just imagine if your unborn daughter could write you a letter. This short film is one of the most moving pieces I’ve ever encountered.

Conceptual credit goes to ad agency Schjaerven Reklamebyrå and production company Tangrystan, both of Oslo. I dare you to watch this film and not be moved. If you’re a daddy, or about to become one, I dare you to not cry.

The majority of ads are not all that serious. The majority of ads aren’t worth our time. These four, though, hit us with an awareness we need. There is no escape. You have now been enlightened. Go, enlighten others.

Advertising / Fashion / pop culture / PotD

Information Overload

June 30, 2016

Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? —T. S. Eliot

charles i. letbetter - information overload

The glut of information comes at such a heavy pace so as to make keeping up impossible

I don’t know about anyone else, but the volume of information I receive on a daily basis is impossible to consume. While the majority of articles, press releases, and various studies shoved my direction do have some value, there is simply not enough time to digest and comprehend the bulk. I end up setting some pieces aside to read later and then get to the end of the month, like today, and realize I have a backlog that needs to be addressed.

Even then, I know there’s some information I have to let go. That article that says one out of three internet users are content creators? It’s been sitting there for two weeks. The information seems interesting, but there is not enough time to get into the details. A detailed essay on the dumbing down of America has been sitting there since the 7th. Incredible amounts of information that is highly applicable to this election season. Too detailed for my schedule, though. I have to let it pass.

Still, there are some stories that, for various reasons, I can’t let pass without at least a tiny bit of comment. This is information I am quite sure you need, that will impact every aspect of your life. Okay, not really, but some of it is damned entertaining. The headlines are links. Click them for more information.

Alexander Wang Is Now Chairman/CEO Of His Own Brand

For those outside the fashion industry, this may sound like a rather obvious move. It’s not. Fashion designers are notoriously bad at the business side of things. That’s why conglomerates such as Kering and LVMH own so many top-name labels. People who are wonderfully creative, such as clothing designers, too often attempt to apply that same creativity to the business side of the house and it rarely works.

Alex takes over the head of the boardroom from his sister-in-law and his mom, both of whom have been running things rather well. Certainly, Wang would not have been able to spend the time at Balenciaga had they not been in place. They’ve done an excellent job of steering his young brand through its first ten years. Influencers such as Marc Jacobs haven’t hurt, either.

The fashion market has changed dramatically in the past five years, though, and strategies that made sense when the label was founded no longer work. The move signals a new direction, though it remains to be seen what that new direction might be. Alexander Wang is one of the top US fashion brands at the moment. Let’s hope he doesn’t blow it. We’ll file this information under things to watch.

Kering Ordered To Pay Hedi Slimane $13 Million

Speaking of Kering, they were sued earlier this month by former Yves Saint Laurent designer Hedi Slimane. Honestly, when I first saw a related headline, I rolled my eyes. I think Slimane was expecting another label to pick him up quickly upon his departure from YSL. His expectations were a bit too eager. Few talked with him at all and none of the conversations reached a serious stage of negotiation.

That means the rather extravagant designer was starting to feel the financial impact of not having a regular income. So, what does he do? Find a loophole in his former contract and sue his former employer for failing to include a non-compete clause in his separation agreement. Understand, a non-compete means that a designer cannot just hop directly from one label to the next for a given period of time. A non-compete is what is allegedly keeping Raf Simons from taking the head job at Calvin Klein. How does this make sense?

Non-competes, in the fashion world, are generally compensated. Labels essentially pay a designer to not work (in an official capacity) for usually two or three years. The $13 million Slimane was awarded should keep him going long enough to create a new strategy.

Dove Release New #MyBeautyMyWay Campaign

Dove has been using messages of affirmation for women in its ads for some time now. While there has yet to be any firm information showing that the tactic is adding anything to the brand’s bottom line, the campaigns are at least socially popular. This particular campaign comes along at a time when body image and self-image, especially among women, is a significant issue. Women are tired of the cat calls and the impolite statements regarding their appearance. Dove’s campaign encourages women to define their beauty their own way. Take a look at the 60-second ad:

My expectation is that an overwhelming number of women can identify with at least one if not multiple statements made. Additional ads address the details of each of the six women shown in this introductory piece. The timing ties into the presidential campaign as well. With a woman as the presumptive Democratic nominee and the misogynistic tone of the presumptive Republican nominee, women are feeling more empowered to be vocal and reclaiming their personhood.

Still, how long can Dove continue these campaigns without them adding significant revenue? Altruism doesn’t pay the bills.

Starbucks Is The Favorite Food Brand Among Millennials

Is anyone really surprised by this one? Of course not. Anytime we stop by one of the coffee stores we have to wait in line behind two or three 30-somethings getting their mocha-soy-caramel-latte-frappucino on. All I want is a venti blonde roast. Black. Yet, I still have to wait while each of the millennials in front of me orders a drink with far too many syllables to be healthy, then mulls over the ever-growing list of food items that look and sound healthy. Can I just get my coffee, please?

Click the link above, though, and what you’ll see is a list of the top 17 most popular food brands among this top group of shoppers who are the driving demographic for almost every company on the planet. Look through the list and you’ll notice a trend that has been part of Starbuck’s strategy from the beginning: Fresh, healthy and innovative. The growing food menu items address the fresh and healthy issue. The drinks have always been innovative. Starbucks has made the strategy work for them and other brands are finally beginning to see the value as well.

Even we old codgers benefit. With everyone adjusting to lure millennials, we’re all eating better whether we like it or not.

Crystal Pepsi Is Making A Return

Depending on how one feels about the product, we might file this interesting piece of information under “too good to be true,” or “what the hell are they thinking?” Crystal Pepsi, which is supposed to taste exactly like the original product, hasn’t been on store shelves since 1994. There is a very good reason for that: no one wanted a cola that looked like 7Up. The caramel color is part of the identity of a cola. The drink was treated more as a novelty and then slipped slowly away.

Today, though, artificial dyes are under attack from the healthy/pure food woo groups. You know, those same people who are convinced that Monsanto is out to destroy the entire food supply (they’re not). While the actual peer-reviewed science regarding food dyes only shows a danger in a handful of very specific colors consumed in high quantities, the concept of going without dyes has a lot of marketing clout. The move worked for Hershey, after all. They saw a significant sales bump after announcing they had eliminated artificial coloring from their chocolate.

The difference between Hershey’s and Pepsi, though, is that the chocolate still looks pretty much the same. The color may not be identical, but at least it’s still brown. Take the artificial coloring out of Pepsi and you have something that does not look anything like a cola. The move didn’t work well the first time. We’ll see if this effort is different.

French Cable Now Has Porn Ads

Americans like copying a lot of trends that are popular across Great Britain and France. With the UK having pretty much sabotaged itself with the whole Brexit thing, France is getting more of the attention at the moment. Maybe a bit too much attention. The French cable provider Cable+ has come up with a set of ads that, while hilarious to view, would be almost impossible to duplicate for the American market. Let’s see if I can describe this delicately …

It’s porn.

Apparently, French Cable providers can get away with a lot racier content than we can here. In the American cable market, the most shocking thing one is likely to see is the blood bath known as Game of Thrones. We can be explicit in our killing, but not our sex. That might explain some problems with our culture.

What these French ads do, though, is hilariously parody old-school porn by removing one person from the scene. So, you have real porn stars looking as though they’re getting it on, but their partner is missing. Why is the partner missing? Because all the good porn has moved to Canal.

It’s a bit much and definitely NSFW. I’m not posting the ads here. Click the link, though. They’re hilarious.

Take A Break

After that last bit of information there, I think we need to take a break. I need another cup of coffee. I hope at least one piece of information here improves your life somehow.

Advertising / Photography

Why Photographers Are Not Full-Time

June 29, 2016

charles i. letbetter - why photographers aren't full-time

As long as I can still be on my own and do my own thing and be working full-time, it’s great. —Marian McPartland

charles i. letbetter - why photographers are not full-time

Many photographers want to work full time. What stops them, though, is more than just attitude

I was one of the lucky ones. For almost 20 years, I was paid exclusively for being a full-time photographer. I was fortunate to have an exciting job, in exciting locations, with expenses paid, insurance, vacation, and a 401k. I was one of the few.

One can work full time at being freelance as well, but the pay is rarely equivalent to a full-time salary and the benefits are almost never present. Making it as a photographer in today’s world is hard work and, to a large extent, the reasons most of us need at least a part-time job escape most people. Running your own business is never easy work, no matter what field one is in. For photographers, though, the challenges are frequently insurmountable.

I came across this article on LinkedIn earlier this week with the headline, “Why Most Photographers Don’t Work Full Time.” The author is Jenna Johnson, a “community manager” at ZenPhotos.com. I was hopeful the article might have some real insight as to the problems facing freelancers. I was disappointed. Instead of a constructive, real-world look at the photography business, all Ms. Johnson presented was a bunch of emotionally-driven, change-your-attitude claptrap that offers no substantive advice at all.

Full Time Is More Like Overtime

Sure, we would all like to be employed full-time as I once was, but the number of those jobs still in existence has dwindled dramatically over the past 15 years. Many companies find that utilizing freelance talent plays better on their bottom line. They don’t have to pay benefits, cover HR costs, or even pay social security in most cases. Companies also take advantage of the fact that many photographers undersell their services and quote rates considerably lower than what the company would pay a full-time employee.

Freelancing as a photographer means doing much more than just taking and editing pictures. When we work for ourselves, we become our own HR department. We have to take care of our own insurance, our own business expenses, our own social security, and even our own equipment. We also have to do our own marketing, branding, and advertising. This is no easy job by any stretch of the imagination.

Add up all the time I spend doing market research, meeting with potential clients, marketing, handling social media, adding content (such as this article) to our website, and maintaining equipment and I can fill a 60-hour week without ever picking up a camera. I’m sorry, but a lack of confidence, treating it as a hobby, and impostor syndrome don’t even begin to factor into the challenges most photographers face.

The Real Reasons

The reasons for not being full time are draped in a reality that challenges every small business owner. We’ll keep the list brief.

Lack of start-up capital. Being a photographer is expensive even if one is working out of their home. If one is going to be full time, however, there are numerous additional expenses that must be addressed before hanging out one’s shingle. Everything costs money and finding that money keeps most photographers from ever making the leap to full time.
Lack of committed professional facilities. If one wants to work full-time without working themselves into complete exhaustion one needs their own studio. Cooperative studios with multiple photographers are often the best option, but without committed space larger clients such as ad agencies and real magazines have difficult taking a photographer seriously.
Failure to understand the market. I love shooting nudes and have, on occasion, even sold a few. However, there is no realistic way, sitting here in Indiana, that I am going to earn a full-time income from that market. Every market is different and has its niches, but not every market plays well in every location.
Not understanding the difference between marketing and branding. There are a lot of articles on marketing one’s photography business. Information that really understands branding a photography business is far less. Most photographers blow it on branding. I’ll have to write more about this later.
Being in the wrong place. If one wants to be a full-time photographer, one has to be where there are full-time clients or at least be able to reach them efficiently. Being full time in Red Oak, Oklahoma is much more challenging than being full time in Atlanta, Georgia. If the opportunity is not there, one might need to move.
Lack of business skills. Being a good photographer doesn’t make one a good business person. Tax and other business laws are serious and you have to do those things yourself or hire someone to do them, which is expensive.

Honest Assessment

Photographers tend to have strong egos and are not necessarily open to criticism. Many of us share those traits. Unfortunately, if one is going to succeed as a full-time photographer, we need an honest assessment of all our skills, not just photography. One can be a fantastic photographer and still fail miserably at running a photography business.

Sure, attitude is an important part of one’s success, but that’s true of owning any business. Encouraging someone to quit their day job and become a full-time photographer is irresponsible if we’re not looking at the real barriers to entry. Being full-time just doesn’t work for many people and as photography itself becomes more commoditized that opportunity shrinks even more.

We all would love to do nothing but take pictures all day. Unfortunately, that situation exists for only a handful of people. There is much more that goes into being a full-time photographer. Consider all the variables before striking out on your own. Good luck.

Current Issues / PotD / Social Commentary

No, You Do Not Understand

June 29, 2016

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us. —Socrates

charles i. letbetter - no you don't understand

A recent survey illustrates how wide the gap is between how whites and blacks perceive racism

What we understand about any given topic is generally a lot less than what we like to think. Even after thirty-plus years, you won’t catch me claiming to know everything about photography. Knowing the limits of what we understand on any topic is important. Being open to different perspectives and various sources of information helps us to learn and grow.

What we understand, or don’t understand, about race, though, is critical. What we think we know shapes our attitudes and perceptions not only about the topic of race, but about the people whose appearance is different than our own. The tone of our voice, the vocabulary we use, even our physical mannerisms change based on what we think we understand about people of different ethnicities and backgrounds.

There are gaps of perception between people of any two races, but the strongest and perhaps widest gap, particularly on the topic of race and equality, may lie between the two most broadly identified groups: blacks and whites. A new survey released Monday by the Pew Research Center highlights just how incredibly wide that gap is. For all the advancements we like to think we’ve made, what we understand about each other isn’t much at all.

Starting With An Open Mind

I feel, to some degree, that I’m coming into this conversation with a perspective that may leave me disadvantaged. I don’t identify as either white or black. Both Cherokee and Choctaw ancestry exists in our family makeup, along with a hodgepodge of European strains. I choose to identify with native peoples because I feel that ethnicity more closely relates to who I am. Interestingly enough, when my hair is long people tend to respond to me in the context of a person of native heritage. When my hair is short, though, as it is now, I am treated more like an old white guy.

I also have the ability to observe how Kat’s children are treated. While their biological paternity is black, they are both relatively light skinned. Little Man even has light blue eyes. Tipster is the darker of the two, but rarely has anyone, including teachers, identified them as being of mixed race. Their exposure to black people and black culture is limited to classmates and neighbors.

What we understand, the nature of our experience, is changed by how we racially identify. Our perceptions are based upon what we perceive in comparison to our own experience. Therefore, we must come into any conversation about race with our minds open to the fact that what we actually understand is very limited.

Understand We Have A Problem

Racial inequality in the United States is a problem. Denying the severity of that problem makes it worse. We see inequality in the justice system. We see inequality in the policing of black and white communities. We see inequality in education. We see inequality in legislative representation. If we genuinely want to understand each other more and improve the situation, we must first acknowledge that the problem is real. Unfortunately, not everyone seems able to do that.

While whites generally recognize that blacks are treated less fairly in legal matters, especially those involving police, their perception of inequality in more normal, everyday activities, such as applying for a loan or mortgage, at work, or when shopping or dining out
is skewed. Blacks understand the inequality of those situations because they experience the inequality of those situations. Whites, on the other hand, are blissfully unaware of the struggle blacks face simply trying to do the same things everyone else does.

Perception does not necessarily equate with reality, but the sizable gaps in those perceptions illustrate the severity of the problem. White people, as a group, don’t understand just how much inequality black people experience. Perhaps, as that awareness increases, the perspective can change. Helping people become aware of the problem is the first step toward solving it.

Politics Blur Our Vision

One major factor in how whites perceive racial inequality is political party affiliation. Generally speaking, Republicans understand far less the reality of racism and are often quite annoyed when the topic is even raised. They mistakenly think they have a good understanding when the reality is they don’t have a clue.

For example, on the question of how much attention is paid to race, 41% of whites say that too much attention is paid to the topic. By contrast, 58% of blacks say we discuss race too little. Break that down by political party, though, and the picture gets more interesting. Among White Republicans, 59% say too much attention is given to matters of race, among Independents, 42% agree, but only 21% of Democrats hold that belief. 49% of white democrats believe that too little attention is paid to racial inequality.

Some numbers we see played out in real life. 78% of white Democrats say the country needs to continue making changes addressing racial inequalities. By contrast, only 36% of Republicans agree and 54% of Republicans believe things are just fine the way they are. If you were wondering how a racist, bigoted xenophobe could become the presidential candidate of the Republican party, you now have your answer.

Understand We Must Move Forward

One place where both blacks and whites agree is that individual discrimination is a greater issue than institutional discrimination. How we treat each other, one person at a time, makes a tremendous difference. Improving our personal relationships with each other inevitably trickles up into how corporations and institutions treat people. We each make a conscious decision when we meet someone how we are going to treat them and that has to improve.

Legislative representation at every level of lawmaking has to improve as well. This is challenging so long as political gerrymandering of voting districts is legal. Especially in the South, there are too many districts whose lines are so impossible distorted that it is impossible for black people to elect a black representative. At the federal level, there are only 43 black members of the House of Representatives and, quite shamefully, only one in the Senate. Being woefully under-represented is criminal. We need more black representatives in Congress.

Finally, we need to accept that white people don’t understand the challenges of the black community nearly as much as they think. Whites must take a new look at the tremendous advantage their race affords them. The playing field is nowhere close to level and white people, in overwhelming numbers must commit to changing that situation.

Sure, you have a black friend or two, and maybe you even work with black people, but if you think you really understand the challenge of being black in America, you’re wrong. Open your eyes. Open your mind. Let’s change this country.

Music / pop culture / PotD

Unfriended, Bothered, and Bewildered

June 28, 2016

You don’t need to have Asperger’s to feel bewildered in a culture that relies so heavily on inconsequential chit-chat to grease the wheels of day-to-day life. —Lynn Coady

We don’t like admitting that Facebook relationships matter, but being unfriended by a friend leaves one hurt and bewildered. Is this serious?

Wise at last
My eyes at last
Are cutting you down to your size at last
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered no more
—Lorenz Hart

Those words, which appear late in the familiar song, keep going through my head this morning as I look through my Facebook feed. I’ve always found it interesting how emotions and events move in waves across my friends list. If one gets sick, at least a dozen more will do the same, even though they are not only unacquainted but don’t even live in the same region of the planet. If one has a baby (or grandbaby, more frequently), then I’ll start seeing baby pics from twenty different people.

What leaves me bewildered a bit, though (and I’m using that word a lot today), is when mass unfriending happens. We seem to be riding that wave at the moment. I’ve seen seven people allude to either unfriending or being unfriended in the past twenty-four hours. Each one has two things in common: they were “breakups” with someone they’d known a long time, and the split was over socio-political issues. Emotions ranged between anger, sadness, and resignation. With each, though, they were bewildered that they could know someone for so long and just now hit a topic of such severe disagreement as to part ways.

Unfriend or Unlike

I’ll admit that I rarely unfriend someone. I might unfollow them so that their all-too-frequent posts don’t clog my newsfeed, but I reserve unfriending for either blocking the rare person who is a complete asshole or weeding the list of people with whom I share no interest or relationship. Few people ever argue with me on a topic, which I appreciate. My need to unfriend someone is quite rare.

Neither am I someone who feels a need to “collect” friends. I am bewildered by those who do. I don’t understand the so-called advantage to having 5,000 friends one doesn’t know. The way Facebook limits who sees your posts changes so frequently that the only sure way to communicate with someone is through private message. On other social media platforms, one’s reach is more of a pure numbers game, so having high numbers of followers makes sense. Facebook doesn’t work the same way, though.

At the beginning of 2015, I did something drastic. I culled my friends list by a thousand people and started a professional page. My hope was to direct more professional contacts, such as models, makeup artists, stylists, photographers, etc., to that location so that I could be more personal on my personal page. Plan backfired. Not everyone got the message about the professional page. Not everyone cared. Roughly 800 of those unfriended stayed that way. Bewildered? Yes, totally. I don’t “get” this whole unfriend and unlike scenario.

Oh, But There’s Science

After seeing all the talk about unfriending, I thought I’d check and see if there was anything close to real research about on the topic. I wouldn’t have been too surprised to find nothing. After all, the whole concept of unfriending someone, even the word, has only been in the global lexicon about seven years. Proper studies take time.

What I found was a couple of studies done at the University of Colorado that were published in 2014. Christopher Sibona, a doctoral student, was the research behind both studies. He looked at 1,700 cases and came up with some interesting results. First, there’s the matter of who we unfriend in the first place:

high school friends;
other;
friend of a friend;
work friends;
common interest friends.

Look at that very top result. High school friends. Why do we unfriend high school friends? Because our opinions have changed, matured, and become more deeply rooted. We are more likely to defend our positions after 10-20 years than we were back in high school. I’m starting to feel a little less bewildered by the whole thing.

How Does That Make You Feel

What may be the stronger study, though, is how one feels after being unfriended. You’re in a heated conversation with someone, and suddenly, they’re gone. You check, and you’ve been unfriended. Ouch! That hurts!

Or does it? Sibona’s study found four core factors for predicting someone’s response to being unfriended. You might respond negatively (sadness, disappointment, or anger) if the other person was a close friend, or if you monitor your friends list constantly. You might respond positively (relief, amusement) if differences were discussed both prior to and after the act of unfriending.

Equally interesting in this study is that the unfriending is more likely to occur with someone to whom one was once close. Those are the people with whom we are more comfortable engaging in deep conversation. Thus, we are more likely to find areas of severe difference.

More Unfriending To Come

One of the things we learned from the last presidential election is that as political tensions become more severe the number of severed social media relationships go up. There’s no reason to expect this year’s election season to be any different. The candidates themselves are about as polarizing as two people possibly can be. Political sentiment and a deep feeling of frustration have more people talking about the election and its related issues than ever before.

We have some decisions to make. Which is more important to you, maintaining a friendship with someone who is philosophically opposite of you, or holding firm to your position? I suppose, to some extent, that the exact issue on which one disagrees plays into that decision.

Perhaps we take old friendships too seriously. After all, one can’t expect people to stay the same forever. Should we really be surprised when someone 300 miles away decides the online connection is no longer worth the frustration?

At the same time, the answer may lie in being more compassionate with those who don’t see things the way we do. Even though we differ on very serious matters, are they not still our brothers and sisters in the universal sense? Maybe we can find that seed of love within us and share that rather than our differing opinions.

Don’t be bewildered by being unfriended. We are all different people with different experiences. Let each one go their own path. We’ll all have less stress for doing so.

Advertising / Fashion

Banning Photos Of Thin Models

June 27, 2016

charles i. letbetter - banning photos of skinny models

It is stupid on my part to think of banning the media. —Shah Rukh Khan

Banning a photograph because a model appears too skinny is making a dangerous judgement call

Banning photography for any reason is never a good idea. When we ban things such as art, photography, books, movies, and other means of expression, we are closing off an avenue of expression, a means of learning, and perhaps even a path to enlightenment and understanding for other people. Banning the arts in any form, even those distantly related such as advertising, is wrong.

So, in what seems to be a trend, the Brits have fucked it up again. This time, it’s specifically the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, who has banned ads on public transit that might challenge a woman’s body image. The mayor’s action responds to an ad that ran earlier this year asking whether one’s body was “bikini ready.” Many people found the ad offensive, even foolishly started a petition on change.org, and as a result made the ad more famous and seen in more places than it ever would have on its own.

The UK is already a bit of an anomaly in the advertising world in that its Advertising Standards Board has the ability to order the removal of any ad it doesn’t like for pretty much any reason. The board has been challenged frequently for banning ads in Britain that wouldn’t have been a problem elsewhere.

Body Image As A Matter Of Perspective

Body shaming is unquestionably a problem and body image, especially among teenage girls, is a critical issue that affects other decisions that women make. Body image determines what one chooses to eat, what one chooses to wear, and even who one chooses to date. As a result, things we used to say often, such as, “Is your body bikini ready?” are no longer publicly acceptable. We find those statements offensive because we presume they promote an unsafe body image.

But what about the image accompanying that ad? While I’m not inclined to re-publish the ad again here (it’s had more press than it deserves), I can tell you that the hourglass figure of the model would not be considered too skinny by a lot of people. If the same image had run with different copy, would Mr. Khan still be so upset? Would people still be offended?

Consider the picture I chose to go with this article. Do you consider the model too thin? Does her body shape offend you? If so, why? I can promise you that the model involved is quite healthy. She certainly does not consider her body too thin and her physician would likely agree. In banning a picture of her body, are they not body shaming and affecting her body image as well?

Body Image As A Matter Of Health

Both advertising and the fashion industry have for several years been challenged with the body image they present. Paris and Milan passed laws protecting models from being forced to maintain unhealthy weights. Such laws are good and necessary. No one should be asked to do things that put them in danger simply for the sake of a photograph. I have no problems with that.

However, laws banning photographs, such as this one in London, fail to actually show concern for the health of the model. There’s no requirement for a doctor’s note, such as there is in the Paris law. There are no means in which the model’s health is even considered. Rather, a judgement call is being made by an autonomous board (the members of which have yet to be selected) without any specific guidelines for what is and isn’t acceptable.

If we’re going to be concerned about body image, shouldn’t the health, both physical and emotional, of the model be considered first? If one is banning an ad because the image is considered unhealthy, is that not also telling the model that she is unhealthy as well?

I can tell you that I’ve worked with hundreds of models who are quite frustrated at people telling them they look too thin or unhealthy. How is this type of action any different than fat shaming?

Body Image As A Form Of Judgement

Vaness Friedman, a fashion editor for the New York Times, wrote an opinion piece on the matter of photographs of skinny models yesterday. In the article, she states:

Though often conflated with the movement to protect models, which resulted in legislation in France in 2015 requiring models to produce a doctor’s note attesting to their health, and digital alteration of photographs to be disclosed, banning is a separate issue. It doesn’t involve working conditions (which can and should be legislated), but subjective, and ultimately regressive, assumptions about what constitutes a positive female image.

Banning pictures of skinny women unfairly judges them. What right does someone else have to say that a skinny body is wrong any more than an overweight body is wrong based merely upon a photograph? Can you look at a set of photographs and know, based on the model’s size and shape, which one just found out she has breast cancer, or Crone’s disease, or diabetes, or a thyroid condition? Of course you can’t! One might guess, but a large portion of the time that guess would be wrong. The judgement is unfair and unreasonable.

Banning isn’t the answer

There’s no question that body image is an important issue. Everyone should be encouraged to embrace the fullness of who and what they are without any judgement. There is no right body type for every person. We all get to be unique.

In embracing that point of view, however, we must include women who are thinner. Their body image counts just as much as that of the woman who can’t keep her weight below 350 pounds.

We also have to start trusting women to make their own decisions about their body and stop trying to do it for them. While some women may look at a Gucci ad and find the models too thin, someone else may look at the same ad and be encouraged to eat better, exercise, or consult their doctor about losing weight. We must allow room for a difference of opinion regarding any photograph.

Censorship, in any form, is wrong. Banning pictures of skinny women is a huge mistake. If Britons get a chance to re-vote on the Brexit, perhaps Mr. Khan should also consider shelving his new law. Neither do the good for which they are advertised.

Current Issues / Mythology / PotD

Peace Eludes Us For A Reason

June 27, 2016

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. —Mahatma Gandhi

charels i. letbetter - peace eludes us for a reason

Our desire for peace is stymied by the road blocks we forcefully push into the path.

Peace is possible. I have no problems with that concept. We can live in harmony with one another, be happy together, and live more fruitful lives. We’ve known this my entire life and we know exactly how to get there. So why does peace elude us? Why do we seem to careen from one conflict to the next?

For billions of people, the path to peace lies within their religion, their belief system, and that should work. With as many people who believe on some level, one might expect that peace would be inevitable. Unfortunately, in too many cases, it is the leaders of those religions who toss up roadblocks. When religious leaders spew hate, when pastors stand on pulpits (literally) and claim that their deity should strike dead all LGBT people, or support a bigoted, xenophobic, homophobic candidate for president, they put hate in the way of our path to peace.

Not that we need their help. We provide enough roadblocks on our own. Our continued quest for power and dominance over other people, or even our own lives, creates canyons that become impossible for us to cross. Our inability to give up our desire for things, our desire for external pleasures, our insistence on being the best at any and all costs, make finding peace impossible.

Some Get It Right

Not everyone is quite so removed from peace. There are a couple of people who stepped forward over the weekend and offered, once again, to illuminate the path to peace for us. Interestingly enough, both are the top religious figures within their extended belief systems. They differ on a great number of details, but they both know the way to find peace.

Pope Francis was aboard a flight to Rome from Armenia, talking with reporters, when he made a statement that shocked many but lit a candle of awareness for many more believers. He said:

I believe that the Church not only should apologize to the person who is gay whom it has offended but has to apologize to the poor, to exploited women, to children exploited for labor; it has to ask forgiveness for having blessed many weapons. The Church must say it is sorry for not having behaved as it should many times, many times — when I say ‘the Church,’ I mean we Christians because the Church is holy; we are the sinners. We Christians must say we are sorry.

The Catholic church has traditionally been slow to apologize for anything. What Pope Francis instructs believers to do, however, is cleansing. Making amends for wrongs of the past clears away many of the roadblocks that prevent us from moving forward. He sets an example for people to follow not only in asking forgiveness but effectually stating that actions the church has taken toward LGBT people, the poor, women, exploited children, and its stance on weapons are wrong.

Reaching Even Deeper

While the pope’s comments are welcome and refreshing to the ears, they alone are not enough to drive us toward peace. Apologies and asking forgiveness are a good start, but there are more personal issues with which we need to content.

Probably the best use of my time this weekend was watching and listening to His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibetan Buddhism during his visit t o Indianapolis. That over 6,400 people were in attendance speaks to how many people are struggling along a path toward ultimate peace and tranquility. The Dalai Lama’s words were often mixed with humor, but his instructions were strong.

“We are all brothers/sisters,” the Dalai Lama said frequently in an address focusing on compassion. He related compassion as the most human of emotions. “Now scientists even say, basic human nature is compassionate. The compassionate feeling toward your enemy, the trouble maker … only we human beings can do that.” He referred to the love a mother has for her child and a child for its mother, instructing that such love breeds compassion that is the source of peace for the world.

Getting There From Here

The Dalai Lama offered many ways we can remove the roadblocks holding us back from achieving peace, both personally and corporately. Among them, were:

Stop linking religion to violence and fanaticism. “There is no such thing as Muslim terrorist or Buddhist terrorist,” he said. “There is just terrorists. … Those who commit such acts of violence are insincere in their religion.”
Education of the current generation is key. Multiple times the Dalai Lama emphasized that compassion must be part of the curriculum and an emphasis in how we teach children if there is to be any hope of change. He said that it was “too late” to change the hearts and minds of older people, but that the education of children in how to be compassionate could bring a more peaceful world.
Everyone has the potential for love and compassion within them. The Dalai Lama spoke often of a “seed” of love within everyone that holds the potential for compassion and that we must first focus on growing that seed before attempting to take on the world.
Action, not prayers, changes the world. The Dalai Lama brushed off the concept that prayers and “releasing pigeons” had anything to do with world peace. Rather, he said, “We created this violence, so we can reduce this violence.”
Accept that we are all the same. Again, referring to the world’s population as brothers/sisters, he said, “Sometimes there is too much discrimination on color, on class — rich and poor. This actually (is a) man-made distinction.” He emphasized that we call come from one source. We are all the same.

Knowing Where To Start

Looking across what seems like a minefield of obstruction, one might feel overwhelmed by all that must happen before we can change the world. The starting place should be obvious: start with yourself. There is nothing we do, nothing we say, that is not an extension of who we are and how we feel about ourselves. We must change ourselves before we can change the things outside ourselves.

Maybe, just maybe, religion might work for some. The Dalai Lama said, “All religions carry the same message — love, compassion, things like that. That’s the basis of our harmony.” Understanding, of course, he is referring to the core tenets of religious belief, not the various bastardizations found in the majority of worship centers.

Others may find that path through meditation, yoga, deliberate focus, conscious awareness of the temporal nature of all things, finding happiness in being.

There is more than one way to get there, but each of those starts with you and I finding that seed of love within us, building that into an immense compassion, and then teaching that first to our children and then to others.

We can achieve the peace that eludes us but we cannot expect it to come from anyone other than ourselves.

pop culture / PotD

Ride Or Die Trying To Walk

June 25, 2016

Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride. —Gary Allan

charles i. letbetter - ride or die walking

Driving a car has been part of the great American adventure, but soon our only choice may be to ride, not drive.

I remember quite distinctly my 16th birthday. Actually, I only remember a specific portion of the afternoon of my 16th birthday. Poppa picked me up from school and drove me over to the DMV in Muskogee for my driving test. I had already passed the written test in Driver’s Ed. Now, it was time to take that monumental step. I was nervous. Some of my classmates had to take the test multiple times before passing. Not me. I aced that test on the first try and was excited to show off the horrible picture on my new license. I would no longer have to ask for a ride every time I needed to go somewhere.

By contrast, my 18-year-old son is quite comfortable in the passenger seat. Even though age-wise, he’s been eligible to get his driver’s license for two years, he’s still in no hurry. He’s quite content to get a ride from his mom or his brother. As it turns out, his attitude may be the better approach for the future.

By now, I’m just going to assume that everyone is at least topically familiar with the development of driverless cars, especially Google’s various models. The concept still scares us a bit. For example, what happens if/when an automated car hits a pedestrian? There are still issues to be worked out, but the further development of the vehicles seems inevitable. Even car manufacturers such as Audi are getting in on the act. The day may soon come when all one has to do is get in a car and ride.

Complications Are Inevitable

As automated cars begin to fill the streets, though, other things beyond cars have to change as well. Streets, for example. Just this past week, solar powered roads started their first real-life test on Route 66 near Conway, MO. With so much of the nation’s asphalt and concrete infrastructure crumbling, now seems to be a good time to start modifying the nation’s roadways so that they might better accommodate driverless cars. Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? Most voters would likely go along for that ride.

A general assumption is that most automated cars will see primary use on freeways and Interstates where access by pedestrians is either restricted or prohibited. There, in a space designed for cars, automated vehicles already accel and are a safer ride than being in a human-driven vehicle. Again, it sounds like good news, given that traffic deaths spiked the highest last year since 1965. We’re actually becoming worse at driving.

Automated cars in urban situations, though, have not been as thoroughly tested. We assume they would be better at navigating city streets efficiently, especially as they develop the ability to communicate with each other. Traffic signals may no longer be necessary as cars instinctively know when to stop or change course. Great, again, if you’re riding.

But what about pedestrians? How do automated cars know when an individual is crossing the street? What if a child’s ball bounces out into the road? Will an approaching car know to not only avoid the ball, but watch for the child that might be following?

Walking Days Are Numbered

An article in this week’s The Atlantic takes a fairly in-depth look at how the rise of automated cars may spell doom for pedestrians. The move isn’t unprecedented. Consider how many suburban neighborhoods already are void of sidewalks. I can personally speak to the number of places where walking simply isn’t safe. Not only are there no sidewalks, intersections are too wide to cross during the few seconds afforded by a traffic light. The danger is real now and doesn’t get any better.

One possibility is that crossing the street might require some form of digital transaction. Pedestrians might need a wearable device that communicates with either the cars or perhaps the street itself to negotiate the right to cross safely. Jaywalking, something largely ignored in cities like Indianapolis, would not only be illegal but life-threatening as well. Without that transaction, cars wouldn’t know to stop.

What if that transaction had a price? Would you pay to cross the street? In some scenarios, it might be easier, and safer, to summon a ride for a trip only a couple of blocks long rather than risk walking. There is also the chance that pedestrians would find themselves excluded from a high number of heavily-trafficked streets. The days of my walking to the nearest coffee shop would be over.

Driving Becomes Illegal

When automated cars become populous enough that they outnumber traditional cars, it only makes sense that, for safety reasons alone, driving becomes illegal. Automated cars make fewer mistakes and have the ability to communicate with each other at microsecond speed. People can’t do that. While technology might prohibit a driver from executing a dangerous move, sooner or later laws are going to change to favor the safer option. Your driving days are over.

One one level, that may not seem like such a sacrifice. No drivers mean no road rage, no getting stuck behind a slow driver in the fast lane, no one cutting you off at the last minute. However, driverless cars have a point A to point B purpose to them. There is no joyriding in a driverless car. One does not just go out for a leisurely ride through the park, or go exploring down a road they’ve never traveled. Instead, driverless cars are designed to take you to a specific destination using the most efficient route possible. Sit back and enjoy the ride, even if it’s the same ride you take very day. Say goodbye to any sense of adventure.

Social Issues

The Atlantic raises some rather important social issues as well. One dominant scenario has no one actually owning their own car, but rather using state-funded Uber-like services instead. This move to forced public transit would almost certainly disadvantage the poor and those whom society marginalizes. Roads have already been using to divide cities both economically and racially. When one’s only option for transportation is a city-sponsored automated car that won’t come closer than five blocks to your house, you have a problem.

The “right to ride” has to be insured as such programs develop. If individuals of the future are not allowed to drive their own cars or even own their own cars, the right to access transportation is one that has to be addressed to avoid it being used to further marginalize people.

There’s also the likelihood that, since automated cars will follow a software-type non-negotiable license, that car manufacturers will require permission to sell your travel data, just like Facebook and Google sell your online data now. This may not seem like a big deal until governments start using the data to limit where one can travel, or what time of day one can catch a ride.

We Have Options

None of this means that a ride-only future is necessarily bleak. Pedestrian-only pathways could provide both a convenient and safer option for those who walk or ride a bike. Such trails are already popular, we just need more of them connecting every party of a city.

No-car-zones are already being considered in some places, such as Oslo. While the details of such an option would be unique to every location, it would provide some safety for those of us who prefer to walk across short distances.

Going for a ride is an experience that is going to change dramatically. Exactly how fast that change happens is anyone’s guess, but few are expecting the normal 20-year adaptation cycle to apply. This is a reality that is coming at us fast. We have to learn how to ride or else we may die walking.

Current Issues / Fashion / PotD

Upside Down And Spinning

June 24, 2016

The world that we all knew before, could wake up in feeling safe… now it seems that everything has been turned upside down. —Tori Amos

When what we know takes a dramatic and unexpected turn, our perspective is that the world has turned upside down. Maybe it has.

Upside down. That’s the only way I know how to explain what is happening to the world this morning.

Normally, I wouldn’t bother writing about matters of foreign politics. We have more than enough trouble here in the US with complete ineffectiveness of our own political system. However, what Britain has done in voting to leave the European Union (EU) is not only a move that has devastating consequences for the island nation, but a ripple effect the covers the entire globe. Because the British Empire was once so extreme, everywhere they once touched is now affected by what has been termed the “Brexit.”

This may well be a warning for other countries considering any kind of selfish, “Make __________ Great Again” nationalistic-motivated action. As we watch what is only the beginning of a flood of consequences, perhaps we now realize just how interconnected the world is. One country’s mistake has devastating effects for every country with which it conducts business, accepts visitors or is an ally. Yet, because no other country dares interfere with the domestic politics of another, we have no choice but to sit by and watch.

Current Conditions

By the time most people read this, business in the UK will have closed for the day and won’t resume until Monday. Announcing the results of the vote on a Friday gave markets and people a chance to react but, hopefully, the weekend provides an opportunity for some of the shock to fade so that cooler heads prevail when markets open on Monday. Still, as I’m typing, here’s what’s happening.

The pound has fallen to a 31-year low against the dollar. A renegotiation of all major trade treaties seems necessary.
The Financial Times Stock Exchange (FTSE) index opened with a straight-line drop of -9% but has recovered to an overall loss of -4.5%
Germany’s DAX is off -6.16%
France’s CAC index is in the red – 7.73%
Spain’s IBEX is taking the biggest hit at -9.98%
British stocks have lost an estimated value over £122 billion

Take a deep breath. This is going to hurt. If there is a silver lining in all this chaos, it is not making itself visible at this point. England’s GDP could fall as much as 3%. Pensions for younger workers could be completely erased. This upside down condition is not a happy place to be.

Fashion Takes A Hit

One business that is extremely concerned about the Brexit is London’s fashion industry. Business of Fashion lists Burberry, Mulberry, and Jimmy Choo among the victims in early trading. Luxury clothing markets were already having a rough year and the volatility the Brexit brings to the market isn’t going to help any. Many of Britain’s major labels are likely to find they have to severely cut expenditures and manage cash flow carefully.

What this means is that London Fashion Week coming up September 16-20 is likely to be even smaller as designers whose margins are already thin opt out at least for the season. For those who do stay in, collections are likely to be smaller and presentations will almost certainly be less extravagant. Frugality is the name of the game for those who hope to survive. Getting British goods off the island just became a lot harder. There is no upside here for fashion

Caroline Rush, chief executive of the British Fashion Council, said in a statement early this morning:

There was an overwhelming support from our designer survey for the UK to remain in Europe and there will no doubt be upset and dismay at today’s result that will prompt an outreach to our friends, partners, business colleagues in Europe. We now have a role to play in keeping the government updated on our industry’s priorities and keeping the designer community updated on any likely impact to business as our country prepares to leave the EU over the coming years.

A Warning For America

As the United States considers the possible election of a Republican nominee whose personality and concepts share many traits with UK Independence Part leader Nigel Farage, we need to watch carefully and consider how our own election might have similar results.

The United States doesn’t exist in a cocoon where it takes care of itself with no attention to the outside world. Our levels of global trade are higher than ever. We cannot simply back out of agreements and treaties that make business possible for hundreds of thousands of American companies. Our dependency on trade with Mexico is one of the highest. If we build a wall, that trade is destroyed and American companies and consumers suffer most. The same applies to China, Japan, and the EU.

Furthermore, our standing in the international community would erode further. England is just beginning to see how their Brexit vote puts them at odds with the rest of Europe. Several companies have announced plans to leave England completely, dumping thousands of employees onto the unemployment rolls. Britain will lose its last AAA credit rating when it next comes up for review. Prices for goods produced outside Britain rise as higher tariffs are anticipated.

One bad judgement call started it all.

Not Much Left

We are seeing now just how severely this vote divides the UK, much as our own country is divided. Scottish first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, says that Scotland will almost certainly hold another referendum on leaving the UK, given that the whole of Scotland voted to remain with the EU. Members of Ireland’s Sein Finn also made statements this morning that the vote will likely fuel an effort to reunite Northern Ireland with the rest of the country. In the end, the UK may have nothing left but England and Wales by the time the Brexit is complete.

Such waves of populism are one of the primary arguments against democratic forms of government: there’s no way to stop the stupid. Every intelligent voice both inside the UK and around the world warned against the Brexit, but nationalistic-minded conservatives, fueled by an unrealistic fear of immigration, paid no attention to the warning.

A full exit from the EU will take approximately two years. There will be a lot of negotiation between the UE and the UK regarding trade, travel, and currency exchange. We have no way of knowing which direction those talks might go. However, when there are 28 countries teaming up against one that was always cantankerous, complaining, and acting like a bully, it doesn’t seem likely that Britain comes out on top.

The mighty have fallen. The world is upside down and twisting in the wind. Our best hope at the moment is that Americans don’t make the situation worse come November.

Art / Current Issues / Fashion / Mythology / PotD

Protest Naked: 10 Illustrated Reasons

June 23, 2016

What is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life? —Aldous Huxley

charles i. letbetter - protest naked: 10 illustrated reasons you should

There is much wrong in the world, but only a few things arousing the passion necessary to protest.

Yesterday was amazing. Following the lead of legendary civil rights icon Rep. John Lewis (D-GA), Democratic members of the House of Representatives decided to protest that chamber’s lack of a bill on gun control by holding a sit-in. Mr. Lewis understands the power of a sit-in protest. During his work with Dr. Martin Luthing King, Jr., Mr. Lewis was involved in many such protests, including a rather famous one at a Woolworth’s lunch counter. As a result, the House of Representatives came to a grinding halt and House Speaker Paul Ryan managed to look like a fool in opposing them.

Staging a protest can be a powerful weapon when it is done at the right time, by the right people, in the right way. The sit-in worked because the time was right. After the events in Orlando, a majority of Americans, some polls say as much as 90 percent, favor some form of gun control. The fact that GOP leadership refuses to even consider such a bill gives Democrats incredibly clout with public opinion swaying in their favor.

There are other things, though, that are worth protesting. We think the strongest form of protest is not only holding a sit-in, but doing so naked. Showing up for something without clothes demonstrates a deeper level of purpose, passion, and commitment to the cause, whatever it may be. Nudity in protest represents honesty, transparency, and truthfulness. When faced with a sea of naked bodies, a lot can get done. So, here’s our list.

Gun Control

The protest has already started. Now, we should take it to the next level and get everyone naked. Okay, maybe not everyone. Older members are good leaving on their skivvies. Still, with all the passion and attention that yesterday’s protest raised, now would be a good time to go all in and make Republicans think twice before trying another procedural stunt like last night’s vote. There is absolutely no reason why we shouldn’t have extended background checks and registration, and require insurance. We do the same for cars and that doesn’t impede on anyone’s right to drive a car. Guns are more dangerous. We shouldn’t hand one out to every idiot in the village.

The UK Brexit Nonsense

The issue being voted upon in the UK today is whether or not the country should leave the European Union alliance, aka, the Brexit. Smarmy conservative Brits, rather on par with the intellectual absence of our own Tea Party, have convinced a large number of Britons that they need to separate themselves and go back to being independent. While, on the surface, that might sound attractive, what every major economist, every major bank, and every political ally have tried to warn these fools is that removing one link causes the whole fucking chain to fail. Every major industry that does any business outside Britain is going to be hurt. This isn’t the 16th century, folks. Britain is part of a global economy. You don’t just get to walk out. So yeah, this is worth staging a nude protest.

Wall Street and Big Banking

Eight years ago, the cheating and stealing ways of Wall Street and big investment banks caused our economy to collapse. Millions of people lost their retirement funds, their college education funds, and other investments. At the end of the day, though, no one was really punished sufficiently to result in any change. Now, all signs point to yet another collapse within the next three years, one potentially made worse depending upon who becomes president. Remember the Occupy Wall Street movement? We think it’s time to bring that back. Naked.

Fur

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is already using nude protest methods in their “I’d Rather Go Naked” campaign. Cara Delevigne, Alicia Silverstone, Pink, four Miss USA winners, and a host of others have already stripped for the sometimes racy and often banned ad campaign. Yet, the use of fur in fashion hasn’t let up a bit. While some European designers are beginning to substitute synthetic furs, which are longer lasting and often softer, Italian design houses especially, many of which began as furriers, have been resistant to change. One of the worst offenders, though, is American designer Dennis Basso. Each season he sends dozens of furs down his runway, even for summer. This is nonsense. Raising and harvesting furs for fashion is cruel. Perhaps we should all just go naked.

Religion In Politics

On Tuesday, the presumption Republican nominee for president announced an “executive council of evangelical advisors.” If anything should have your ready to protest in the buff, this should. No one does more to harm civil rights, women’s reproductive rights, and LGBT rights than do evangelicals. That a presidential candidate would embrace such hate and allow them to give him advice on policy should frighten every American. Why these people think they have any right to stick their nose into anyone else’s business defies reason. Our Constitution dictates separation of Church and State for a damn good reason. Don’t talk to me about imaginary second amendment rights when first amendment rights are taking a greater beating.

Freedom of the Press

Yes, journalism and the distribution of information, in general, has some issues. However, for all their faults, we still need these news producers to keep us informed at an introductory level. We may have to dig to find the truth of a story, but we wouldn’t know about the story at all without them. We’ve already talked about this to some degree, and watching how a billionaire is gleefully sending Gawker into bankruptcy extends our concern even more. The presumption GOP nominee for president has also banned several media sources from his events because he doesn’t like their criticism. Freedom of the Press is a critical element to our democracy. Getting naked to protest infringement upon that freedom should be a no-brainer.

Global Warming & Science Denial

Maybe we can stage this protest outside; just be sure to bring plenty of sunscreen. The ongoing denial of science in general, and specifically the matter of global warming, is both worrisome and dangerous. Global warming itself is not something that changes based upon how many people believe. The effects of the problem, the consequences of our inaction, are going to happen whether we pay them any attention or not. Do we wait until we’re neck-deep in water or our children are sunburned while waiting on the school bus before we begin a large-scale protest? This is another topic that seems natural for nudity as well. If we don’t do something, we’ll all need thermal shields.

Rape Culture

One of the most disturbing things I’ve read today is the account of a German model who was raped and then, adding insult to injury, fined because the judge doesn’t think she was actually raped. This is, of course, complete and utter bullshit and warrants a protest of thousands of naked women marching through the streets. Why naked? Because there is no better way to emphasize that a women, alone, is in control of her body. Her being naked does not justify rape. Her wearing short skirts or high-heeled shoes is not inviting rape. Being drunk or high is not a license for rape. It’s time to put this rape culture to an end.

Costs of College Education

I was special and took five years to finish college. Paying for it was a challenge and when I finished the amount of debt felt like a horrible burden around my neck. However, my debt over 30 years ago was less than $20,000. Today, students pay that much or more per year. Have classes improved that much? No. Have non-athletic facilities improved that much? No. Has the value of a college degree improved that much? Hell no. Yet, if anyone wants a job, even an easy one requiring no skill, the preference is for college graduates. Naked bodies lying all across the quad at homecoming sounds like an honorable protest to me.

Restrictions On The Human Body

Why aren’t we seeing any nude protests? Largely because, in most places, they are illegal. Or, we think they are. The Supreme Court has already ruled that being naked is a viable form of protest and political expression. We are still stymied, though, by so-called decency laws that confusing to read and legally fraught with error. Police see a naked person, or a group of naked people, and assume they must be doing something wrong. We must fight for our right to use our bodies, unclothed and unencumbered, as a means of expression and protest. There’s no logical way this protest cannot be naked.

I’m sure there are more things that might benefit from naked protest. I’ll leave you to decide what those might be. What’s clear, though, is that when large enough groups of voters become passionate enough about an issue, legislators listen. I cannot think of a more important issue than our bodies. I cannot think of a stronger means of protest. If I start, will you follow?

PotD / video

Minimalism: Doing More By Having Less

June 22, 2016

I have my own definition of minimalism, which is that which is created with a minimum of means. —La Monte Young

Minimalism isn’t nearly as scary as it sounds and leaves us free to do more

Minimalism is a concept that, at least on the surface, seems to run counter-intuitive to the American way of life. Americans are taught that the advantage of freedom and democracy is that we can have more. Each generation should have more than the one preceding it. Consumerism is embedded into our way of thinking. Bigger houses, more cars, more clothes, and more things seem to be the goal of every person in American. To accept any other form of philosophy feels unpatriotic.

If having more is good, though, then try explaining why those who would seem to be the embodiment of American success, middle-aged white men, are killing themselves at an alarming rate? Does having it all leave us feeling as though we have nothing? At the end of the day, just how much stuff do we really need? Could embracing minimalism actually end up giving us more of the things we truly value?

Mind you, I’m speaking of minimalism in the Zen tradition, not necessarily the art style or the fashion of Calvin Klein, Jil Sander, or Miuccia Prada. Minimalism is the practice of having fewer possessions, fewer things around us, so that our lives are more unobstructed by things that are distracting, freeing us to do more with our lives. This isn’t a minimalism born of poverty, but of purpose.

Minimalism Sounds Impossible

There are different approaches to minimalism and one has to make some difficult decisions at times as to exactly what matters. We make decisions about what is most important to us. We know what we need, what things we use more often, what things are required. When we have more than we need, everything else can get in the way.

As I was going through my newsfeed this morning, I found this short video rather inspiring. Take a look:

One might watch that video and think, “That’s Japan. The crowded conditions of limited real estate make having less more of a necessity.” To some degree, that’s true. Those living in apartments don’t need lawn equipment like mowers and trimmers. More people ride bicycles rather than driving cars. Yet, Japan has one of the most consumer-driven economies in the world, after our own. They can manage to squeeze a lot into that little bit of space when they want.

What matters more is the realization that not only do we not need so much stuff, but that our over-abundance may be stifling our creativity, limiting our exercise, endangering our health, and making us less intelligent. Our abject consumerism makes us less active, eat more, read less, and less imaginative. At the most extreme, those who we might refer to as hoarders live in danger of being crushed by all they own.

Having more isn’t necessarily good for us. There are better ways.

Honest Assessment

Several years ago, I sat in my home office in our nice five-bedroom home just North of Atlanta and realized that we had more than we could manage. The demands of keeping up with the house and the lawn, running three boys to various school and scouting activities, and making sure everything was working properly left us no time to breathe. While that situation did not end as I might have liked, what I learned was that getting by on bare necessities can be a very good thing.

Look around you. How many of the things in your current location do you use every day? Every week? Every month? Are there things you haven’t touched in a year or more? We fool ourselves into thinking we have to keep all those things because we never know when we might need them. While that might be true for the tools of one’s profession, it’s not valid for the 39 pair of shoes or 27 little black dresses in your closet. Why do you have multiple bottles of nail polish when you don’t wear any? How many jogging outfits do you need if you don’t run?

Minimalism actually requires some discipline to not only avoid over-buying but getting rid of the clutter around us. I’m embarrassed when I look at the mess on my desk. From candy wrappers to almost-empty bottles of beer, the clutter is a sign of laziness. I don’t need these things here, I’ve just not bothered to throw them away yet. We generate a lot of trash, which then becomes the clutter that makes our lives a mess.

Ease Into It Gradually

Minimalism sounds like a great idea until you actually start to do it, then it gets scary. Here are some ideas for slowly transitioning to getting by with less.

Except for formal wear, if you’ve not worn something in the past year it needs to go. The limit on formal wear is five years, max.
Choose the 14 outfits you wear the most and put them at the front of your closet. Note how often you wear anything outside that set.
Buy less, buy better. When you do need to purchase something new, make sure it will last so you don’t have to buy often.
Be generous. Consider giving away everything you’ve not used in the past year.
Wear less. If you don’t have children in your home, or large glass windows with no covering, go naked. Minimize wear and tear.
Let go of sentiment. Once towels begin to fray, toss ’em and don’t replace them. Same for shoes and clothes. Let go.
Generate less garbage. Buy food with minimal packaging, stay away from disposables that linger around the house for months.
Minimize dinnerware and kitchen utensils. A family of four doesn’t need place setting for 12. You don’t need more pots than you have burners.
Limit personal grooming items. Look nice, but you don’t need 37 choices of fragrance.
Unplug everything. If you go two weeks without plugging it back in, consider whether you really need it at all.

As you do this, clean and organize so that what you do have is put away and clutter is minimized. Watch the free space open up.

Enjoy The Benefits

Over the past weekend, we helped the kids sort through their toys, which had become excessive. Things went into three piles: Keep, Giveaway, and Trash. The kids made most the choices, though there was a strict rule that anything broken had to go in the trash pile. Our dumpster is now full, a large bin of give-away toys sits by the curb (feel free to come rummage), and what’s left is a much more manageable collection of toys with which the kids actually play. It’s an important step toward minimalism.

Along the way, as you reduce the number of things around you, you’ll notice other benefits as well. You have more time. You save money. You become more environmentally aware. You might be healthier (especially if you have blood pressure issues). What you do have means more. You feel more relaxed.

There are some caveats. We don’t throw away books, music, or art. Tools one needs for employment get an exemption though they should be able to match the flow of the rest of the house. Children naturally require more, especially in terms of clothing.

Minimalism can change our perspective on life. When I had everything down to what would fit in the backseat of a car, I saw the world very differently than I did sitting in a five-bedroom house. It is possible to have too much. Look around you. Do you really need all that stuff?

PotD / science / Social Commentary

Smart or Stupid, Is That A Question?

June 19, 2016

charles i. letbetter - smart or stupid, is this a choice?

I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues. —Franklin D. Roosevelt

charles i. letbetter - smart or stupid, is that a question

Is there a problem with being smart or are we trying to justify stupid?

Americans, apparently more than any other country, have an obsession with being smart. We heap praises on those who demonstrate intelligence beyond the norm and we get upset when we realize that our educational system is producing graduates who can only read at a fifth-grade level. Even our television viewing skews toward characters we perceive as smart. Programs such as Scorpion and Elementary (based on the character of Sherlock Holmes), consistently generate high ratings. We even like our comedy smart. The highest rated sitcom, for multiple seasons, is The Big Bang Theory, where we watch allegedly intelligent scientist bumble their way through life. One of the reasons we like that show is because it delivers lines like these:

Leonard: Sheldon! We have to do this!

Sheldon: No, we don’t. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep ourselves from dying. Everything else is optional!

The bluntness of the exchange makes us laugh, but at the same time, we recognize the intelligence of Sheldon’s response and consider ourselves smart when we use that line on someone else the next day. We like being smart. Although, perhaps more correctly, we like thinking that we’re smart. Many of us are lacking in cognitive skills. The intelligence of television characters doesn’t rub off and make us smarter. Some people are stupid.

We Have A Problem

Once upon a time, the rate of acceleration in IQ among high school graduates was pretty impressive. Psychologist James Flynn found that from 1932 to 1978, IQ scores in the US increased by 13.8 percent. Putting that in other terms, a score that was average in 1932 would be in the bottom 20% in 1978. Yay us! I’m in that 1978 group. We’re smart!

Unfortunately, that trend failed to continue. Just because we give allegiance to intelligence doesn’t mean we’re all doing well in the brain category. Measurements are tough to come by and even more difficult to verify, but that are glimpses of where we stand. Consider that the College Board, the entity that administers the SAT, considers a score of 500 as a benchmark for who will do well in college. Not everyone takes the SAT, but if we look at states where the test is free and participation over 90 percent, we find that only 33 to 40 percent scored above that benchmark.

An article published this month in The Atlantic, while trying very hard to convince us that there is an unfair war on stupidity, admits that:

… less intelligent people are more likely to suffer from some types of mental illness, become obese, develop heart disease, experience permanent brain damage from a traumatic injury, and end up in prison, where they are more likely than other inmates to be drawn to violence. They’re also likely to die sooner.

Being Smart Isn’t Easy

I was amused by Jeffrey Zacks’ essay published on aeon disproving brain-training games and exploring how difficult it is to expand our level of intelligence. His list of things that are marketed as improving our intelligence, such as programs offered by Lumosity, which rocketed to a high of 50 million users, and PositScience, which isn’t quite as popular but uses a similar methodology, is long. He makes a very good case against brain-training, especially.

One of the general issues with many of the concepts that are supposed to help us improve our brains is that they only focus on one particular segment, usually related to memory. For example, does anyone else remember those little plastic games with the tiles that moved around to create a picture, or put numbers in order? Those little devils actually help advance our cognitive ability, but only in the area of recognizing patterns. Likewise, those tricks for helping remember people’s names do improve some memory skills, but only in terms of memorizing lists. The effects are not transferable.

While we think of Adderall and Ritalin as being primarily used with children who have attention deficit issues, there is evidence of them improving the cognitive ability in normal adults as well. This area of study might actually be promising accept for the fact that the effects are short term. They give a momentary boost of cognitive enhancement, but then it stops as the drug wears off and over time the “crash” goes below the starting baseline. Users are trading a moment of lessened ability for a moment of enhanced performance. Oh, and the drug that works best? Nicotine. Go figure.

Solutions Are Available

Strip away the biases of both articles, and what we find are solutions that can make us all smarter and reduce the rate of stupidity (yes, I’m using the word) that seems to be prevalent over a frightening number of people. We simply cannot excuse the growing trend among those whose cognitive abilities are diminished to demonize those who are smart. Atul Gawande, in his commencement address to the California Institute of Technology, made an interesting conclusion after talking about the growing distrust of science:

Even more than what you think, how you think matters. The stakes for understanding this could not be higher than they are today, because we are not just battling for what it means to be scientists. We are battling for what it means to be citizens.

Indeed, we need to be smart and that means we need to do the things that not only make us smarter, but put us back on track toward making our children and grandchildren smarter as well. Top priorities must be decreasing poverty and improving the quality and availability of early childhood education. One of our most stupid moves comes when we oppose funding that can solve both those problems. At the same time, nutrition and exercise, especially cardiovascular activities such as swimming, biking, and walking, are among the best ways to not only increase cognitive ability but prevent its decline as we get older. We have options.

Is This Really A Choice?

One thing for certain is that I’m not going to stop calling out those actions that are stupid. Perhaps we do need to be more careful in clarifying that, generally speaking, it is one’s actions and not the specific individual who is stupid. At the same time, though, we must realize that we are not nearly as smart as we like to think. We could be much smarter, even if we’re older and out of school. Our future depends on increasing our country’s overall intelligence so that we don’t do something incredibly stupid like nominating a bigoted, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, reality television host for president.

Oops, it may already be too late.

Current Issues / PotD

Orlando Is Our Own Fault

June 18, 2016

If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim. —Richard Bach

charles i. letbetter - orlando is our own fult

We cannot blame others for the problems we ourselves have chosen to ignore. If there is a fault in the world, it is our own.

The revolution may be televised, but the next mass shooting will likely be live streamed. Much has been made the past couple of days about the death of a Chicago man who was gunned down while he was live streaming on Facebook. Everyone rush to look. Last I checked, the captured video was still available on Slate.

Now, how did you react to that paragraph? Were you sad? Were you angry? Were you disgusted? Or did you dismiss the whole thing because it happened in Chicago, the murder capitol of the U.S.? Did you roll your eyes and make the assumption regarding the victim’s race? Did you make a moral judgement?

How you responded determines how much at fault you are for the very condition that allowed the event to take place. None of us are innocent. We are all part of this country together and it is what we do together, corporately, how we act, how we react, that determines whether we, as a society, are progressive or destructive and if we’re totally honest with ourselves for a moment, we’re being incredibly destructive.

Dodging Blame

When a shooting happens such as the one in Orlando a week ago, everyone is quick to point fingers. It was the shooter’s fault. It was the shooter’s parents’ fault. It was the shooter’s wife’s fault. It was the president’s fault. It was the fault of Congress. It was the NRA’s fault.

While I am not the least bit dismissive of the responsibility of the shooter and his family, after all, he made the decision to do what he did, no one else, I am not ignorant of the fact that we, you and I, helped shape the conditions that seeded the thought in his head, fostered the hatred that grew in his heart, and made sure his purchase of a semi-automatic assault rifle as the appropriate ammunition was as easy as possible. You and I did that. We aided a murderer.

Orlando is our fault.

We Are The Media

Why do we have so many mass murders in our country, far more than any other developed country in the Western world? The answer is that we make it a popular thing to do. While this is easy enough to blame on the media, the reality is that you and I are the media. More people get their news and opinions from social media than anywhere else, and it’s not traditional news sources they’re reading. Instead, we are more likely to read a story that a friend has shared. That makes you and I part of the media. We are participating in the dissemination of news.

So, every time we share a picture of the Orlando shooter and/or his family, you are telling the next mass shooter that this is an easy way to become famous.

Every time we mention the shooter’s name, you tell the next mass shooter that this is a good way to get people’s attention.

Every time we marginalize a person online because of their race, the tone of their skin, their heritage, their gender, their sexual preferences, their height, their weight, or their religion, you’re telling the next mass shooter that it’s okay to hate those people.

Every time we pass over a hateful comment without correcting the person, we might as well be placing a gun in the shooter’s hands because we’re telling them it is just fine with us if they spread their hate everywhere. If we ignore hateful words, we’ll ignore hateful bullets as well.

We Are The Government

All this bullshit about blaming the president or blaming Congress needs to stop. Not because they failed to pass any form of legislation that would make it more difficult for people to buy the weapons used in mass shootings, but because we are responsible for who is sitting in Congress and the White House. Remember when the Democrats filibustered the Senate for gun control legislation this week? While they were yammering on and on, 48 more people were shot! Here’s how that mapped out:

Image from Vox

We have spent the past 12 years complaining about a do-nothing Congress. What an incredibly stupid thing for us to do. Why? Because the entire House of Representatives and a third of the Senate, enough to shift the balance of power, is up for re-election every two years. So, if Congress continues to not do anything about violence, if our elected officials from the White House on down continue to do nothing about gun control, if Congress continues to do nothing but stand there and waste tax payers’ dollars, IT’S OUR OWN FAULT! We had the opportunity to remove every damn one of those lazy jackasses from office more than once and we have failed to do so. Remember Mr. Lincoln’s line about this being a government for the people and BY THE PEOPLE? That puts the responsibility squarely on our own backs.

Congress has two years to act. If they don’t, it is our responsibility to remove them. Yet, when we keep voting for the same idiots because of a party affiliation or because of tradition, we are only making the problem worse. We are responsible for who sits in Congress and we are responsible for removing them when they sit there doing dumb shit rather than protecting our country.

We Can Fix This

We created this mess, this society that fosters mass shootings. We can clean it up. We have to clean it up. Change doesn’t come from a President. Change comes from people like you and me who start making a stand, who stop being quiet when someone says something stupid on social media (friend count be damned), who changes their own behavior to reflect their values rather than ignoring everything that passes by. There are some very specific steps we can take.

Pay attention to incidents of hate and violence at an early age. The Orlando shooter’s classmates are talking about how violent he was while in school. The problem is not that the incidents went unnoticed, but rather that no one did anything to intervene and actually address the issues of anger. We cannot ignore the impact of negative social behavior at an early age.
Shut down anyone who talks pro-terror and pro-hate online. We have previously been far too tolerant of hate speech online. We have always been of the opinion that everyone has a right to their own opinion. We’re too willing to agree to disagree. Yet, those negative statements are how Daesh recruits and inspires people to kill others. Shutting down those hateful comments and statements may well help reduce the amount of terroristic influence Daesh and other groups have.
Vote. Not just at the federal level, but at the local and state levels as well. There is more hate being spewed by state legislatures than our federal government could ever conceive. Find those who are purveyors and creators of hate and remove every last one of the jackasses from office. This is an election year. There’s no reason to not make it an electoral blood bath.
Don’t be quiet. I know a lot of people don’t like to get political in their speech and especially in what they say online. Being adamant about a political opinion can make some relationships awkward and difficult. Fuck awkward and difficult. Fuck friend and follower counts. Silence infers that you agree with the stupidity. Take on the bullshit that is the presumptive nominee for the Republican candidate for president. Speak up!
Walk the talk. Check yourself. Not just online, but in life. Who are we marginalizing? Who are we demonizing unfairly? How are we treating the people who are around us every day? We have to improve. What we do, what we say, how we respond to every challenge we face makes a difference.

Call To Action

We created this monster. We are part of this society that fosters and breeds mass hatred that results in mass shootings. There is no one to blame but ourselves and we have to stand up and take responsibility for dismantling the monster we’ve created. We cannot be a people of peace if we tolerate and perpetuate hate through our action.

Right now, somewhere in the United States, someone is thinking about creating an event that would make Orlando look like a cake walk. If we, you and I, do nothing but blame the media and Congress and guns and the NRA, that person may well succeed. Stop blaming and take some responsibility.

Orlando was our own fault. Don’t let it happen again.

Music / Mythology / PotD

Looking For A Happy Place

June 17, 2016

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. —Franz Schubert

charles i. letbetter - finding a happy place

Sometimes finding a happy place that is void of angst is more difficult than it should be

I knew the moment I stepped out the back door this morning that today was going to be a struggle: I stumbled over the threshold as the dog pulled on his leash. This was one of those mornings where nothing felt quite right. The skies were cloudy and a brisk breeze was blowing. Our neighborhood is normally fairly well lit with a majority of people leaving their front porch lights on all night. Not this morning, though. Several lights that are normally on were off. Instead of keeping his nose to the ground, as he normally does on our morning walks, the dog was sniffing the air. He pulled at his leash more than usual and occasionally would stop dead to smell. He wasn’t happy. Something felt off.

The problem is, I keep having days like this. Granted, they don’t all start out quite as creepy as this morning’s walk, but finding the happy has been a struggle. Trying to be positive and reaffirming has been much more of a challenge than it should be. I’m having more negative experiences than I am positive. I know I’m not alone, either. I see your posts on Facebook and Twitter. You’re trying. You want to be happy, but when you think you’ve found a smile someone comes along and slaps it off your face.

Let’s try something different

I recently started reading the book Mindfulness: a Practical Guide To Awakening by Joseph Goldstein. Don’t let the ethnic sound of the author’s name fool you. This book is 100% unapologetically Buddhist. However, there is a fair amount of crossover between Buddhism and Dudeism, so I’m guessing there might be some things I can apply. Any help is appreciated.

I’ve not gotten too far into the book, though, because I have this habit of not necessarily taking people at their word. The Internet has reinforced that habit and this political season isn’t helping at all. So, just getting through the preface and introduction of the book took some time as I felt compelled to check the references. After four days, I’m just starting the second chapter. I’m not gleaning a lot just yet.

One thing that has struck a chord, though, is the concept of impermanence. Goldstein goes into some detail and even quotes an absolutely beautiful poem that drives the concept home. Ultimately, though, the whole thing can be summed up in a simple statement: none of us are getting out of this alive. There’s no point is getting all worked up about things when, in the end, every last bit of it is temporary. The beauty, the occupation, the money, the glamor, the reputation, and prestige all die. They gain us nothing that actually impacts our long term happiness.

Creating a starting point

If everything is temporal, then is there anything that actually can make us happy? There is a sign on the wall of our living room that reads: Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life. I’m not sure who originated that thought, but it seems to fit in with where I think Goldstein is taking his readers. And if happiness is a way of life, then perhaps we might start by meditating on the elements of life that make us happy and consider why we have attached happiness to those pieces of our lives.

For example, the first cup of coffee in the morning makes me happy, not in the smile-on-my-face sort of way but more of an internal feeling that I’m now ready to handle the day. Why does that make me happy? Perhaps the answer is partly because that is the moment where all my senses begin to feel awake. Prior to that point, half of me is still asleep. I’m not fully aware until I’ve had that first cup of coffee.

There’s a problem with coffee being a happy point, though, according to Goldstein and the whole Buddhist mindset: coffee is a thing. True happiness is not found in things, they say.

Let’s try this again

Another thing that makes me happy is snuggling with Kat. We don’t get to do this as often as we’d like. We’re both busy and, quite honestly, we’re both the type of people who frequently prefer to be left alone. We are sitting here this morning enjoying each other’s company, but neither of us speaking or even sitting close together. So, when we do actually have time to connect on any physical level, even if it’s just leaning on each other before we drag our weary bodies to bed, I feel happy.

Again, the question has to be asked: why? What is it about sitting next to, touching another person, that generates feelings of happiness? Is it just Kat that generates that feeling? No, connecting with the kids in a gentle manner, sitting next to one of my boys, or even nuzzling with the dog generates a very similar, though not identical emotion.

I’m guessing it’s more the act of connecting with someone, or something, outside myself that generates the positive feelings we recognize as happiness. I’m fairly sure there’s psychological research to back up that premise as well, though I’m not going to take up the time to go looking at this exact moment. Reaching outside ourselves is a positive thing. Maybe that’s what makes us happy.

Or maybe it’s something else

Happiness can come from more than once source, though, and many of those don’t involve actually connecting with another person. For example, this young lady’s performance did a very good job of putting a smile on my face. Take a look:

Why does that little girl’s stand up comedy make me happy? Skipping the analysis, I’m going to guess the answer is because it reaffirms, or is at least sympathetic to my own sense of values and opinions. Like any good comedy, she leaves me feeling good about the fact that not everything going on in our lives makes a lick of sense.

In the end, however …

I’m still not there. I’m not finding that happy place this morning. Knowing that I’m going to have to deal with issues and attitudes I’d just as soon avoid negates the meditation. I’m sure Goldstein addresses that issue later in the book, but I’m likely several pages away from that revelation. Instead, I have Schubert’s Erlkönig running through my mind. Even if I didn’t know the translation of the lyrics, which are gruesome enough on their own, the music fits the sense of maddening futility I feel for the day. Running, constantly running, only to fail in the end.

I think I really need to be taking more pictures, don’t you? Maybe you should pose for them. Maybe one of us could find our happy place.

Current Issues / PotD

Half Full Or Half Empty

June 16, 2016

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. —Alice Roosevelt Longworth

charles i. letbetter - half full or half empty

There are days when one has to choose whether the glass is half full or half empty and proceed from there.

I almost didn’t write anything today. I feel empty. Immense pain fills my shoulders and elbows and fingers. Keeping my eyes open is a challenge despite the strong coffee. I had to push myself to make anything happen.

From where I’m sitting the glass seems half empty. After two days of severe storms, my muscles want to contract, my joints don’t want to move, and any pressure on my knees feels extreme. Having to keep children inside for the better part of two days was exhausting, leaving me with little energy to deal with them today. The lawn needs cutting but there’s still water standing across the yard so that’s not likely to happen. I’m aching to try out some different angles on a set of figure studies, but not only do I not have time, I’m not even sure who I would ask to pose.

Looking outside myself doesn’t help much, either. A new documentary, Living Wage Now!, chronicles the real world challenges, difficulties, and dangers of the Asian garment industry. The picture of forced sex, violence, and even workers being shot at goes beyond the horrors we’ve previously imagined. At the same time, fast fashion giant Uniqlo is positioning itself to become the largest apparel maker in the world. Given that fast fashion is much of the motivation behind garment factory horrors, it would seem that there is little chance of reform.

As we still pick apart the details of Sunday’s shooting in Orlando, I find myself angered by the fact that the shooter’s wife actually went with him to buy ammo knowing exactly what he was planning to do with it. How does a person know that someone is planning such a horrendous act and not say something to someone? I understand that she was a battered wife, but once he left the house she could have called someone. A grand jury decides later this month whether she’ll be charged as an accessory to murder.

Then, there’s the news of the two-year-old being dragged into a lagoon by an alligator at a Disney resort. That’s just one of those things a parent never expects, especially from a Disney property. As a nation, we’re captivated by the story because we cannot imagine experiencing such a horror ourselves.

All that and more leaves us with a glass that is struggling to be only half empty. If that were my only exposure to the world this morning, I would consider the glass completely empty, toss Pop Tarts at the kids, turn on Netflix for them, and go back to bed. That sounds like a very tempting scenario at the moment.

Yet, there are things that combat that empty perspective.

First, we didn’t get the brunt of the storms the past two days. There are thousands of people across the region who lost power, have large trees down in their yard, and are still dealing with serious flooding this morning. Kat had to dodge downed power lines and high water on her way home last night, but she did make it home safely.

Justice may finally come for the 1,400 garment workers who died in the 2013 building collapse and fire at Rana Plaza. A Dhaka court framed charges against 18 people yesterday for knowingly violating building codes. While the speed of movement, in this case, has been painfully slow, at least they’re making progress.

At least one politician has changed his attitude following Sunday’s shooting. Utah’s Lieutenant Governor, Spencer Cox, apologized to the LGBT community in a speech he made on Monday. He not only apologized for his own attitude, but he challenged other straight people as well:

How did you feel when you heard that 49 people had been gunned down by a self-proclaimed terrorist? That’s the easy question. Here is the hard one: Did that feeling change when you found out the shooting was at a gay bar at 2 am in the morning? If that feeling changed, then we are doing something wrong.

As always, whenever another mass shooting takes place, the talking heads made the rounds on news shows making the same arguments for and against gun control that they’ve been making the past 30 years. Yesterday, someone finally took decisive action. Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut filibustered an appropriations bill with demands for tighter gun control legislation. It was a gutsy move, but quickly enough he was joined by 37 other senators and the filibustered continued until GOP leadership finally backed down and agreed to consider new gun control legislation. Is this a solution? No, but it is the first decisive step we’ve seen toward one.

So, there’s some full to balance out the empty.

Still, I’m having problems finding that positive attitude this morning. There have been so many negative things happen this week that I’m not sure it’s reasonable to expect the week to end balanced. Perhaps this is one of those times we have to accept that the glass really is half empty.

And be thankful we still have a glass.

Current Issues / Personal / Social Commentary

Domestic Violence Intervention

June 15, 2016

This is not love. It is a crime, … You can’t look the other way just because you have not experienced domestic violence with your own flesh. — Salma Hayek

charles i. letbetter - domestic violence intervention

When Kat witnessed domestic violence taking place, she stepped in to stop it. Not every response was so helpful.

One thing I’ve learned having US Marines in my life is that they are not passive. When they see a situation that requires immediate attention, they act; it’s in their nature, a part of their training that never leaves.

That response kicked in yesterday while Kat was on her way home. Coming up to the intersection at 30th and Kessler, on the West side of Indianapolis, she found a small car sitting a couple of spaces back from the traffic light, not moving. As she watched, she saw the male passenger grab the female driver by the hair, pull her across to his side of the car, and bang her head against the window. That was all she needed to see.

Kat pulled around in front of the car so it could not easily leave and rescued the woman who was being beaten, removing her from the car to a position of safety outside. As they were calling 911 for help, the male passenger moved to the driver’s seat and stole the car, swerving around Kat and speeding away, leaving the woman stranded.

IMPD was there almost immediately, two female officers well equipped to handle the situation. They took statements from both Kat and the victim. As part of standard procedure, the officers warned Kat that what she did was dangerous, that she should have called 911 rather than stopping. We’ve both heard that line before. The risks are real, but the immediate risk to the woman’s life was greater.

But then …

As the officers were sending Kat on her way, one rather wryly made the statement, “Don’t worry, it’s just drugs and prostitution.”

Kat’s anger seethed. She knew better than to confront the officer right there and came on home. Nothing she could say at that particular moment would help the situation. She knew, though, that the woman wasn’t likely to get the help she needed.

Women across the country were outraged last week when a California judge let a former Stanford swimmer get off on a rape charge with only a six-month sentence, of which he’ll only likely serve three months. The story illustrates just how deeply ingrained the rape and abuse cultures have become in our society. Despite numerous ad campaigns attempting to draw attention to the issue, and even mandatory classes on many college campuses addressing date rape and matters of consent, the justice system itself, and even some in law enforcement still holds to the demeaning and outdated concept that someone’s actions, gender, style of dress, state of sobriety, or occupation naturally leaves them open to and even deserving of domestic violence, abuse, and even workplace violence.

Too often, and for too many years, our society has tolerated the lame excuse, “She was asking for it.” I cannot imagine the mind of any intelligent and critically reasoning person ever believing such a horrendous statement. Who asks to be abused? What person asks to have their hair pulled, their body dragged across a car and their head ferociously beaten against a window? In what insane universe could those actions of violence ever be justified?

Look at the numbers

Domestic violence is one of the most serious issues facing our country, but one which very few want to discuss, and even fewer of us are willing to get involved. Take a look at these statistics:

Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.

Every day in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.

Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.

The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.

Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

The rate of incidents is appalling and in a country that is serious about stopping the ever-increasing rate of crimes such as mass shootings we should be looking at those with a history of witnessing or being involved in domestic violence as the primary source. If we want a safer America, we first have to start with safer homes, safer relationships, and a justice system that punishes the perpetrator, not the victim.

A little respect, please

As disappointing as the officer’s statement was yesterday, such a lack of respect is not unusual. Kat listened in on the 911 conversation and found the operator dismissive and condescending, as though she didn’t feel the need to take the crime seriously. Others have reported similar 911 experiences where operators either delayed in sending help, or downplayed the severity of the situation.

Let’s get this straight right now: NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED! Prostitutes are not asking for it. Drug addicts are not asking for it. Drunks are not asking for it. Women who dress in short skirts, high heels, or low-cut dresses are not asking for it. Strippers are not asking for it. Female bartenders are not asking for it. Housewives who burn dinner are not asking for it. Children who are loud and noisy are not asking for it. Homeless people are not asking for it. Mentally or emotionally incapacitated people are not asking for it. Elderly people are not asking for it. Those who disagree with you are not asking for it. Those who challenge a presidential candidate are not asking for it.

NO ONE IS ASKING FOR IT!

The woman Kat helped yesterday was almost certainly involved with some form of controlled substance. That does not exclude her, however, from the protection and respect that every human being deserves! Even if the woman is a prostitute, she still does not deserve to be beaten. She deserves respect, she deserves the same help you would want for your own wife or daughter.

We must end this culture where we think that anyone deserves to be treated with violence of any kind. What people deserve is compassion, sympathy, and love.

One More Thing

Before I end, let me say that we know domestic violence takes many forms and that getting away from that violence is often not easy. If you live in Indiana and need help, there is someone you can call:

800.332.7385

The members of the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence (icdavinc.org) will do their best to help you change your situation and find safety. As always, if you feel your life is in immediate danger, call 911.

What Kat did yesterday involves a high level of risk and is not the type of intervention I recommend for most people. Kat is a highly trained and experienced United States Marine. The action she took may have saved a life. We don’t question the quality of that life or judge the woman in any way. She deserves to live free of violence just as much as you or I. We hope she gets all the help she needs.

And thank you, Kat, for being brave enough to intervene. I love you.

Current Issues / Social Commentary

Intentionally Teaching Love

June 14, 2016

People who add value to others do so intentionally. I say that because to add value, leaders must give of themselves, and that rarely occurs by accident. —John C. Maxwell

Children learn from many sources that don’t always value others. Teaching them to love must be intentional.

Teachable moments are everywhere. Sometimes that’s a good thing; we have the ability to reinforce values and support positive action. Others, not so much; lessons learned at the hands of others doesn’t necessarily reflect the values we think are important. Most adults don’t set out to provide examples of hate, but it happens. Hate is everywhere and the best way I know to combat that is to intentionally, and aggressively teach love. Consider the following scenarios, all of which actually happened.

Scenario 1.

We moved the kids to a different school in February of this year because they weren’t responding well to the environment of their previous school. While the move was a positive one academically, one of the things we began no notice was the frequency with which one child would say to the other, usually in a fit of frustration, “I hate you.” Sometimes those words were directed at us, as well. Where was this coming from? We certainly never used that language at home and would not tolerate anyone else using those words around them. Turns out, they were hearing it from other children, not necessarily directed at them, but toward others and toward toys as they play.

Scenario 2.

Our neighbor across the street is a really cool guy. We like him a lot. One of his biggest challenges, though, is with relationships. He goes through girlfriends like I go through cheaply made shoes; it’s rare one lasts six months. His most recent flame had two little girls, ages nine and three. The nine-year-old was pleasant enough, always polite, active, and respectful of those around her. The three-year-old, however, was the antithesis of her sister. Not only was the little one a trash talking queen, she stole the tricycle from under our carport on multiple occasions, and stomped through our garden, crushing plants. We eventually had to ban her from playing with our little ones and soon after they moved.

Scenario 3.

One of our favorite couples is biracial. He has two children from a previous relationship. They make a lovely family and within their household there is a continuous emphasis on love and acceptance. So, it really hurt yesterday when she went to pick up her step-son from day camp and was told that one of the other campers had called her step-son a “F***ing n****r.” To their credit, the camp immediately addressed the situation and took appropriate action. Still, both the young man and his parents were shocked, hurt, and appalled that a child would even use such language against another child.

Sadly, I could continue, but I’m sure that’s enough to make my point. No matter how carefully we guard the environment in which our children are in, there is always a chance for hate to slip in and do its dirty work. When even small children as young as three are spewing hate toward each other, we have a serious problem. We have seen too many examples where what started as mere words from a child grew up to become a young person so consumed by hate that they pick up a gun and start shooting. If we want our children to learn love, if we want our children to become people who respond to others with love, we have to intentionally teach love at every opportunity.

There is a video circulating, which I will neither post nor link, showing the father of the Orlando shooter being very aggressive in his hate toward the LGBT community. One doesn’t have to delve too strongly into abnormal behavior to understand that at least part of the father’s anger and hate rubbed off onto his son. What if that father had been equally as vocal about love? What if he had intentionally made videos about the importance of loving those who are different from us? Could that have made a difference?

This is new territory. Always before, parents have been able to reasonably assume that if they showed love to their children, if they set a loving example of how to treat other people, if they corrected inappropriate behavior in their children as it happened, that they, too would grow up to be people who love. That’s not what has happened, nor what is currently happening. Passive love is not enough. Setting a good example is not enough. If we are not intentionally addressing matters of love, preemptively discussing how to respond to situations before they happen, creating moments for the specific purpose of teaching love, then we are leaving our children vulnerable.

I’m not good at this. I was raised with passive love. I used passive love with my boys. Intentionally teaching love is different; it’s work. But when we do it correctly, it changes the attitudes of our children, and those around us, from tolerance of hate to an expectation of love.

Scenario 4.

While walking along Mass. Ave. this past Saturday, on our way to get coffee before the parade, we came across a very colorful burlesque performer who goes by the name Honey Bourbon. Her dress was like a rainbow of satin and Miss Tippy grew very excited when she saw it. “Her dress is so pretty!,” Tippy said to Kat.

“Why don’t you tell her that?” Kat encouraged.

She did. Loudly. “Your dress is beautiful!” Tippy exclaimed, the excitement ready to burst out of her.

Miss Bourbon thanked her and we both kept walking. The exchange was quick. Simple. Maybe even forgettable for some people. Yet, that is exactly what I mean by intentionally teaching love. Someone else might have responded by telling Tippy to be quiet, or even putting space between the child and the stranger. Those actions only teach fear, though, and fear leads to hate. Instead, Kat encouraged Tippy to show her appreciation, to be kind, and not be afraid. Those are actions of love that we hope Tippy remembers and carries with her.

At Sunday night’s Tony Awards, Lin-Manuel Miranda, creator of the smash hit Hamilton, accepted the award for best score with a sonnet. I played the video for the kids yesterday and will play it for them again today. We’ve not discussed the horrible event of Orlando with them. We don’t watch broadcast news so that is one piece of sadness that has not entered their lives. What Lin has to say, though, puts the emphasis on love. Love is love is love is love. That is the lesson we want our children to learn. That is the lesson we want the whole world to learn. Love cannot be left to chance or to accident. Teaching love must be intentional and we must start now.

Music

Songs We Need For Today

June 13, 2016

charles i. letbetter - songs you need right now

If I knew where the good songs came from, I’d go there more often. —Leonard Cohen

charles i. letbetter - songs you need for today

Certain songs just resonate at certain times in our lives, keeping us moving, reminding us to not give up, that the prize is worth the struggle

Mondays are difficult days under any circumstances, but this one is especially difficult. We’re hurting as we remember the victims from Sunday morning’s senseless attack on the LGBT community in Orlando. The continued diatribe and nonsense from politicians is maddening because we’ve been here before, heard the same words before, and watched them do absolutely nothing. We cannot rely upon our political leaders to do what it takes to change this situation. We must make the change ourselves.

Change does not come by hating those who hate, though. Change comes through the increase of love, through encouragement, through kind words, through being there not only for friends but for strangers who are struggling. Change comes in how we respond to each other, day in and day out.

I firmly believe that music helps. Songs often say what we cannot with a passion we ourselves might be afraid to show. Songs can be there for a friend when circumstances keep us away. Songs linger in the minds of those who hear them, providing instruction and inspiration long after the music fades away. Songs deliver us from the pain we feel and remind us that a better world lies ahead. Songs help us share love when we can’t seem to form the words in our own mouths.

After watching last night’s Tony Awards, I’m convinced that some of the most inspirational songs for moments like this are found in the musicals of Broadway. So, I’ve chosen five that I find appropriate to what I’m feeling, what I assume others are feeling. I hope these will provide you with strength, motivation, and inspiration as you go through today and the rest of this week. And may you always remember that no matter what anyone says, no matter what anyone does, no matter how anyone acts, Love wins.

Always. Love wins.

https://youtu.be/AfN9AIqeYxU

https://youtu.be/ei1jsFOO3CQ

Current Issues / Photography / PotD

Love Is Still Alive

June 13, 2016

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. —Marcus Aurelius

charles i. letbetter - PRIDE is still alive

What happened in Orlando Sunday morning causes everyone who is LGBT and LGBT Allies to hurt. But PRIDE is still alive and will continue to be proud

We woke up Saturday morning excited about the parade. We drove downtown early to find a parking spot, walked down Mass. Ave. to get our coffee on, then walked back to claim our favorite spot from which to shoot the parade. Sure, it was warm and humid, but that was okay. We were prepared for that. Kat carried water and snacks in her purse. She and the kids sat in the shade and waited and even made some new friends.

We came home, exhausted but happy. The kids faces were red from the sun but they were more excited about the excessively large amount of candy they had received (which will be distributed among more responsible people). I downloaded the pictures, marked the ones that I liked, and enjoyed a nap. It was a good day.

Then, we woke up Sunday to bad news that just kept getting worse. By noon, we were wondering what the fuck was wrong with our country. We felt what all our friends were feeling: hurt, anger, and disbelief when the body count went to 50. How could this happen? Why would this happen?

Next came the realization that the day could have been worse. Los Angeles police received a tip that allowed them to stop someone that, at the time, seemed bent on disrupting the LA Pride parade. With the number of weapons and explosive making materials confiscated, considerable harm might have been done, though the young man’s motives remain unclear.

I offer no explanation nor excuses for to do so is folly. Hate is the bottom line and we can make all the excuses and place the blame a dozen different places but at the end of the day if we don’t address the hate we leave the door open for the same thing to happen again.

How do we address the hate? By showing more love. The LGBT community and their allies are hurting, but Love did not die on the floor at Pulse. LOVE is still alive. Love is not going anywhere. We will take a moment to reflect, to mourn, and to honor the fallen. Then, we will return to the clubs, to the streets, to the parades and we will show everyone that Love is still alive. We are embracing, still armed with acceptance, still ready to celebrate the individuality of every person, no matter how they identify with life.

We who are alive respect those whose lives were lost this weekend by bit letting these events weaken our resolve. Everyone has the right to be who they choose to be and no one has the right to take your personhood away, not with a gun, not with their speech, not with a stupid law about where to pee. We are alive and we are PROUD of those who stand in support of those who are different from themselves. We are PROUD that Indianapolis mayor Joe Hogsett and his wife were front and center at Saturday’s parade. We are PROUD that Democratic gubernatorial candidate John Gregg walked alongside LGBT supporters. We are PROUD that this year’s parade grew even larger and that more businesses stepped out of the shadows to show their support.

So, today we share our photos from Saturday, when we were happy, when we didn’t even think that someone might target such an event with hate, when we took PRIDE in being alive and sharing a moment with our LGBT friends. You’ll see the mayor, Cadillac Barbie, Mr. Gregg, and many more. You’ll see the drone that hovered above the parade route and a young man who looks angry but actually had just run out of bananas to give away. You’ll see bubbles and bodies and rainbows but more than anything you’ll see people happy to be alive and being free to be themselves.

Kat sent me a video this morning that I also want you to see. The scene is from a PRIDE event in South Korea. Parents of LGBT children stand in the street and give hugs to anyone, to everyone, to show that they are loved. I cannot help but wonder if this isn’t the attitude we need to take as well. What kind of message would it send if thousands of LGBT allies stood on the circle and gave hugs and messages of support not only to our LGBT friends, but to anyone who needs that moment of love and affirmation? I’ll put the video after the photos.

I never wear any color but black, but this morning there is a button on my shirt. It is round, bordered by a rainbow and says, “ALLY.” My plan is to wear that button everywhere I go, every day, for as long as I can keep up with the magnetic back, so that everyone I see will know that this weekend’s tragedy has not weakened our resolve. We are alive, determined to support our LGBT friends, and determined, more than ever, to love.

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PotD / Social Commentary

Pride Justified

June 11, 2016

What is pride? A rocket that emulates the stars. —William Wordsworth

LGBT Pride Month may not be popular with conservatives but as long as hate remains, the love is justified.

After a full day yesterday, we will be dragging the kids from bed in a few minutes, painting their nails, tossing something resembling food in their mouths, then heading downtown for the Cadillac Barbie Indiana Pride Parade. This is a regular thing for us. We’ve done it every year Kat and I have been together. More than any other event in town, this is the one we feel obligated to get up and attend.

Sure, the parade is always a lot of fun. The people involved go out of their way to make it fun. And for the moment, the biggest concern the kids have is, “will there be candy?” because, you know, in their minds that’s what parades are all about.

There are important reasons, though, for attending the Pride parade, even if the kids don’t understand just yet what those reasons are. I’m much happier taking the little ones to a parade rather than a protest, which is the only choice my parents had back in the 1960s. I can promise you there was no candy back then. While they may not understand now, one day they’ll look back and realize how important this time is both for us as a country and as a civilization.

Conservatives erupted with howls of hate when President Obama declared June LGBT Pride Month. The religious extremists among us screamed with fury. We’ve seen this kind of reaction before. They did the same thing with Civil Rights in the 60s and Women’s Rights in the 1920s. Every positive step forward we’ve made has been met with opposition by the same groups of people. They are unable to accept the natural progression and change that comes as we develop more fully as a civilization. They spew their hate and, if allowed to have their way, keep us thinking like Neanderthals.

With all the hate we’ve seen this year directed toward transgender people (the T in the LGBT acronym, in case you didn’t know), attending this year’s parade and supporting Pride is as important as ever. While the little ones may not even fully understand the concept of sexuality yet, it is important to know that there is no room for hate, no room for exception, no room for discrimination because of any difference, no matter what that difference might be.

Ideally, that should be enough, but I know some people that I’ve known since my own childhood are not yet convinced. So, here are a few reasons why Pride is justified:

LGBT people are human. Just like anyone else, one’s sexuality does not take away their human card. Being human endows one with unalienable rights, not the least among those being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. You know where that phrase originates. If we are not supporting human rights for everyone we are not supporting human rights at all. I will go even further in saying that any candidate, for any office that does not fully support human rights for everyone, without exception, cannot legitimately be a true representative of the people.
Ignorance kills. Too many people who have grown up accepting who they are have been bullied, beaten, and even killed because of the ignorance of others. That such behavior continues is beyond shameful. The only way to stop these acts of hate and violence is to address the ignorance behind them. LGBT people are your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and all any of them want is love.
For those who didn’t make it. When I was in high school, being out as being gay wasn’t cool. Everyone who now can stand proudly with their same gender spouse was firmly in the closet back then. While most made it out and are living beautiful lives, not everyone did. AIDS claimed the lives of a number of people who had been forced to stay in that closet during the 70s and early 80s. Even if help had been available, finding it in rural Oklahoma would have been impossible. As we think of those lost lives we must be committed to making sure that environment of fear never exists again.
For those who did make it. I had to smile this week as I scrolled through my Facebook feed and saw a picture of one of my favorite high school friends standing with his husband next to the Democratic nominee for president. Again, we all grew up in an extremely closeted environment unwelcoming of anyone who was different. The number of friends from high school and college who are now out and either married or in happy long-term relationships is joyous. Even more are those who are out and choose for their own reasons to remain single. They are all incredible people who have struggled with acceptance and both social and legal limitations. They all deserve to be celebrated.
Because love wins. If there is an ultimate lesson for the little ones to learn, it is this: love wins. Love, in all its glorious and fabulous forms, is not confining. Love does not tell you that you must behave one way or another. Love does not limit who you are or who you can become. Love accepts everyone. Love takes you to the top. Love conquers even the most vile and orange hate.

Everyone loves a parade and this one today will be louder, prouder, and more fabulous than any other to hit the streets of Indianapolis. We’re excited to attend and will be equally excited to post pictures in two or three days. But lest anyone think this a mere frivolity, be quite certain, this Pride is justified. Do not deny. We’ve told you why. No time to cry. We’re gonna fly.

Bye.

Current Issues / Nature / PotD

Feeling The Heat

June 10, 2016

I don’t always wear underwear. When I’m in the heat, especially, I can’t wear it. Like, if I’m wearing a flower dress, why do I have to wear underwear? —Naomi Campbell

The heat is on. The argument for wearing clothes is strained. Caution is advised

My alarm went off, as always, at 4:00 AM this morning. I groaned quietly, kissed the back of Kat’s neck and got out of bed, dressing in the dark so as to not bother anyone.

The dog was waiting, as always. He hears the alarm, too, and is anxious for me to put on my shoes and snap the leash to his harness. He’s been here a month, but our morning walks are already a matter of ritual. He shakes himself and we’re ready to go.

I check the weather forecast, as always. 70 degrees. 30% chance of isolated thunderstorms after 7 this morning. Shit. I have 120 pounds of concrete mix sitting in the yard. I’ll have to move that when we get back.

We start our walk with Belvedere’s nose to the ground, as always. The neighbor’s security light pops on as we pass but the dog doesn’t flinch. He’s more interested in the scent of a feral cat that roams the area each night. The cat can’t be too big; we see its muddy paw prints on the car each morning. In the distant, lightening flashes. We probably won’t actually get any rain at our house. Most weather goes around us.

This is summer, and, as always, we’re beginning to feel the heat. 92 is the forecasted high today, and as someone who grew up in Oklahoma, my instinctive reaction is to think, “Aw, that ain’t nothing but good swimming weather.” But 92 when I was a kid wasn’t the same as 92 is now. The only air pollution we had to worry about then was the fragrance that came from the feedlot when the wind was out of the South. Heat and humidity were a thing, but rarely did they actually kill anyone.

Things are different now. Heat is the enemy. Now, the National Weather Service issues air quality warnings. I saw the orange band across the top of the forecast early and knew what it had to be. Here’s this morning’s statement (the caps are normal for NWS statements; they’re not actually shouting at you):

INZ047-110000-
MARION-
INCLUDING THE CITY OF...INDIANAPOLIS
256 PM EDT THU JUN 9 2016

...A KNOZONE ACTION DAY HAS BEEN DECLARED...

THE OFFICIALS AT THE OFFICE OF SUSTAINABILITY FOR THE CITY OF
INDIANAPOLIS HAVE CALLED FOR A KNOZONE ACTION DAY ON FRIDAY...JUNE
10...FOR THE FOLLOWING INDIANA COUNTIES...

MARION.

A KNOZONE ACTION DAY MEANS THAT A COMBINATION OF THE HIGH
TEMPERATURES...LIGHT WINDS AND OTHER FACTORS ARE EXPECTED TO
PRODUCE CONDITIONS WHERE HIGH LEVELS OF OZONE EMISSIONS MAY
EXCEED FEDERALLY MANDATED STANDARDS.

HERE ARE SOME RECOMMENDED ACTIONS THAT THE PUBLIC CAN TAKE TO REDUCE
OZONE FORMING EMISSIONS.

RIDE THE BUS INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR CAR.
CAR-POOL WITH A FRIEND OR CO-WORKER.
REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT IN DRIVE THRU LANES.
POSTPONE FILLING OR TOPPING OFF YOUR GAS TANK UNTIL AFTER DARK.
PUT OFF MOWING YOUR LAWN UNTIL AFTER 600 PM.

All this because of a little heat. What wasn’t a big deal 40 or 50 years ago is monumental now. When we were kids, we could go out and play all day, every day, and the only time our parents worried about the weather affecting us adversely was when there were tornadoes in the area. Today, however, we’ll be taking specific action to protect the kids from harm: we’re leaving the county and heading for a quiet state park. They’ll be able to play outside without having to worry about breathing bad air.

Tomorrow is a different story, though. The anticipated high temperature for tomorrow is 96°F which means NWS will almost certainly release another air quality warning, but tomorrow is the annual Pride parade. We can’t miss that, for a number of reasons. That means we’ll have to make some adjustments to make sure the experience is safe and enjoyable for the kids. Come to think of it, you would probably do well to follow some of the same suggestions for yourself.

When feeling the heat, here are some do’s and don’ts for staying alive:

DO drink plenty of water. We’ll be carrying 8 oz bottles of the stuff to keep everyone hydrated. Hydration is always an issue in the heat, but under these conditions it is critical.
DON’T drink only soda, coffee or alcohol, all of which dehydrate the body. Sure, they’re tasty, but they’ll leave you panting along the side of the road.
DO wear clothing that is light textured if you’re in a place where clothing is required. This is a great time to show off your swimsuit.
DON’T forget the sunscreen. Please. Always. Skin cancer is no joke and incidents have risen dramatically in the past 20 years. The shine makes your body look good, anyway.
DO eat a lot of fresh fruit. Strawberries, peaches, apples, and bananas are what we’re having for breakfast.
DON’T eat a lot of processed sugars. That stuff is bad for you any day, but in the heat, they zap your strength and can make you violently ill. Stay away.
DO plan activities at either end of the day. Before 10 AM and after 6 PM are best.
DON’T expose you or anyone else (including pets) to extreme heat conditions any longer than absolutely necessary.
DO take your pets out for short, limited walks.
DON’T leave your pets tethered outside, even if they have shelter and water. The heat affects them even more than it does us.

I’m not one to jump on an alarmist bandwagon, but this heat is serious business. Already, the Best Protected Great Barrier Reef Corals Are Now Dead, and there’s a ’99 Percent Chance’ 2016 Will Be Hottest Year on record. The easy-going summers of the past, where we could just sit in the shade and drink lemonade without a care in the world are, unfortunately, non-existent for anyone who lives in a city of any size. I’m not sure those out in the country are as safe as they once were.

Summer is here. We’re going to feel some heat and, like it or not, we can’t just run around naked all over the place. Take some precautions. Use some common sense. There’s still plenty of fun to be had, we just have to be careful about when and how we do it.

Art / Current Issues / Experimental / Original Style / PotD

Naked Thoughts While Walking The Dog

June 5, 2016

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights! —Warren G. Harding

Walking the dog of the morning gives some time for quiet contemplation before life is cluttered by the day

Random. Thoughts I have while walking the dog each morning are just that: random. Naked. I don’t look at any news or check any headlines before we head out the door. I do put on pants, just in case I’m not the only lunatic up at 4:00 in the morning (and I’m not), but other than that I’m unencumbered; just the dog and I out for a stroll. He’s interested in finding a fire hydrant where he can pee (he has a favorite). I’m interested in sorting through my dreams and the thoughts that linger from the previous day.

Sunday morning is a great time for that manner of contemplation. None of the thoughts are necessarily huge or impressive in any way. Just thoughts that are worth thinking for a moment, and then we let them slip back into the quiet places of our brain until we might actually need them in conversation. These are the moments where we work out for ourselves exactly how we feel about a topic, the hows and the whys and the justifications. Walking the dog is good for the brain that way.

Having a dog to walk is important, though. When people see someone, especially a man dressed in dark clothes, out walking by himself in the middle of the night they tend to make negative assumptions. One evening, a couple of weeks after I graduated from college, I was walking through my neighborhood at dusk and a man comes rushing out of his house wanting to know what I was stalking him and his wife. I wasn’t, of course. But to claim otherwise was apparently calling his wife a liar. I could have used a dog right then. No one questions what you’re doing when you are walking a dog.

One of the things that popped into my mind this morning was a couple of pictures posted by a friend who now lives in California. She grew up here in Indy, was quite a free spirit, and posed for me on a few occasions. The pictures were of her and her mate, a British chap, out frolicking about in the California forests completely naked. The pictures posted, of course, managed to meet social media requirements, covering up nipples and such. I’m sure there are more revealing photos, though. On one hand, I’m proud of the two of them for taking those pictures. They didn’t hide their faces or do anything to deny that it was them in the photos. They owned their nudity and were happy in a way I wish everyone could be happy. At the same time, I was a little jealous that I wasn’t the one taking those pictures. I couldn’t be. I’m not in California. There aren’t enough people in Indiana who feel that free. They’ve all moved out West, or so it seems.

We went to a wedding last night. We took the kids along. The couple was beautiful. The mix of religious cultures was beautiful. The ceremony appropriately reflected who they are. Just before the ceremony was about to start, though, it rained. Stormed, actually, and quite seriously at that. The ceremony was held under a tent and most guests had already taken their seats. The tents didn’t have sides. My seat was along the edge. I spent the evening with my right pants leg completely soaked by the rain. I find the experience amusing. The rest of me was quite dry and the dampness did not impede my ability to enjoy the ceremony. The storm helped keep the kids in check, too. There was just this awkward sloshing sound as I was walking across the lawn. It’s a uniqueness that will help me remember the event.

I miss the days when people would just randomly stop by for a few pictures. Maybe they had a new outfit. Maybe they were just bored. Maybe they were feeling adventurous and enjoyed getting naked in front of the camera. All of those were true at various times with different people. No one does that now, though. Speedway isn’t as popular as Broad Ripple. No one comes over here then stops and grabs a burger or pizza on their way home. No one can park at our house then walk down the street to meet friends and go out for the night. I’m not convenient anymore. But then, none of those friends who once dropped by do the Broad Ripple scene anymore. They’ve grown up. Some have kids. Several moved away. We get older and we stay home. We don’t drop by and visit anyone. We do Netflix and nap.

The lawn needs mowing again, but I won’t do it today. I’m not inclined to spend an hour walking back and forth across the yard. Maybe we’ll get started on the fence, though; get some holes dug.

The dog’s choices of places to pee is rather random. Sure, there’s the fire hydrant, but as his nose is sniffing along the ground there is apparently some randomly occurring fragrance that triggers his bladder, forcing him to stop and pee right now. Why does he choose to pee where he does? I suppose I could ask that same question about humans, though. I’ve actively avoided wading into that whole bathroom argument because I consider the very concept to be among the most ludicrous notions ever concocted. Talk about finding a solution for which there was no problem, North Carolina’s HB2 did just that. There wasn’t a problem. Now, everyone’s talking about where to go pee and that’s just about the most stupid waste of time I’ve ever seen. If you’re caught up in stopping people from peeing in certain places, you’re dumber than my hound dog.

However, I did discover this video last night. The music is incredible. My only problem is that I’ve never seen Harvey Fierstein without facial hair. I wasn’t prepared for that specific form of nakedness. His bare chin threw me for a loop. Mr. Fierstein wrote on his Facebook page:

So, you don’t like transgender people? Have the balls to honestly say it. Today’s bathroom controversy is fueled by the same bigots that sought to ban gay and lesbian teachers forty years ago. All these years later they’re still hiding behind the claim that they’re only protecting their children.

These discussions are great opportunities to educate and strengthen the bonds that make us all one human family. But when I see discussions on social media proposing a Men’s Room for adult males, a Ladies’ Room for adult females, a Little Girls’s Room for little girls, a little Boy’s Room for little boys and then another pair of bathrooms for Little Boys with a parent and Little Girls with a parent… Well, it’s time to take a step back and laugh at our own absurdity.

Hmmmm, is that Wayne Brady in drag as Lola? I’m never quite sure.

Enough walking for this morning. My legs hurt and the dog’s ready to eat. Enjoy your Sunday.

Art / Current Issues / Mythology / PotD

The Challenge Of Remembering Muhammad Ali

June 4, 2016

I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want. —Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali was more than just a champ, he was The Greatest. Mere words are not enough.

On the off chance you missed it elsewhere, Muhammad Ali died last night. He was the headline on this morning’s New York Times. Again. You can read his obituary here; please do, someone worked hard to get it just right. There are obituaries is almost every publication available this morning. Ali was one of those people who transcended his sport. He wasn’t just a boxer. He wasn’t just the three-time champion. He wasn’t just the rebel. He was The Greatest, and that presents a problem right now.

Have you ever met a boxer? Not just someone who messes around in a local gym, but a real heavyweight? They’re unique individuals. I’ve met Evander Hollifield on a few occasions, even have pictures running around here of him at a Christmas party. He’s a big man, but he’s no Ali. I’ve literally run into Ken Norton (ouch, that hurt) once, but he’s definitely no Ali. I’ve seen George Foreman from across the room; he’s big and he’s mouthy, but he’s never been close to being Ali.

Are you beginning to see the problem? When Muhammad Ali first called himself The Greatest, it stuck not because it made good print copy, not because it was audacious, but because he was right, and everyone knew it whether they wanted to admit it or not. When one is The Greatest, it is difficult to write an obituary or memorial piece because there is no adequate comparison against which to judge him. No one did what he did, the way he did it, with the mouth, the rebellion, and the dominating force that was present both in and out of the ring. No one. How the hell can anyone encapsulate that into a single article?

The answer is: you can’t. Since the early 1960s, people have been trying to tell the story of this man born Cassius Marcellus Clay in Louisville, Kentucky. His filmography listing on IMDB is as long as anyone’s. The hundreds of thousands of newspaper articles are impossible to accurately index. Photos number in the millions. People have been trying to document the life of this man longer than I’ve been alive and no one has gotten a full, complete picture. It’s not going to happen because Ali was The Greatest and that’s just too much to every put into one box.

Much of what is written about Ali today is going to center around his boxing and the controversy surrounding both his unusual style and his public actions outside the ring. Those are the pieces most well-known in this very public life, and yes, they are important, but there’s so much more that is likely to be missed.

For example, did you know that Ali’s father was a painter? A damned good one, too. There are still a few places around Louisville where the work of Cassius Clay, Sr. can still be found. Had he come along some twenty or thirty years later, Clay, Sr. might have been a celebrated artist and his son might have taken a very different path through life. That wasn’t what the universe had planned, though. Clay, Sr. couldn’t even begin to get the attention of the established art world in the 1950s and that fueled an anger that influenced his son.

Ali was largely illiterate. The state of public education for blacks being what it was, he was never taught to read well and as a result, the rest of his academic experience was far from notable. Fortunately, he was extremely good at memorizing and would carefully re-write his speeches over and over and over until he had them cold. He could also be very spontaneous, even at a young age, with a wit that was sharp and biting, but often humorous as well. Again, had he come up at a different time, given a different educational experience, he might have been a great actor, but that didn’t happen either.

The champ took his religion seriously. When he converted from Christianity to Islam in 1964, a lot of people thought it was just a publicity stunt. Many others thought it was merely a dodge to avoid being drafted into the Vietnam situation. What few saw was that his conversion was real. While the path he took had some challenges and perhaps a misstep or two along the way, his was not merely an emotional conversion without any conscientious backing. He knew what he was doing. He sincerely believed the writings of the Quran and tried living according to its principles, even when the whole religion was under fire.

What may be most difficult to communicate, though, is that Muhammad Ali achieved all that he did, became what he was, triumphed over everything while being a black man in a white man’s world. Those of us who are not black, and perhaps even some who are, cannot begin to understand the enormity of the challenge that placed on Ali from the moment he was born. Even after winning the Olympic gold medal for boxing in 1960, there were still restaurants at which he couldn’t eat. Even in his hometown of Louisville, he was still referred to by that ugly n-word. Those of us who have never been in that situation, who have never endured racism at its most harsh and consistent and oppressive reality don’t have a clue what it takes to break away, to still climb to the very top, not just the top of boxing, but the top of American society and declare, “I am The Greatest.” Muhammad Ali did just that, though.

There have been a lot of famous people die already this year, many of them catching us by surprise. Ali’s death wasn’t a surprise, and it wasn’t something he feared. The announcement early yesterday afternoon that the champ was in the hospital on life support was a courteous way of letting media outlets know they needed to update their files and prepare their stories for publication. Ali didn’t have long, and less than 24 hours later he was gone. The challenge in writing about Ali’s death, though, isn’t that he was just famous. He didn’t just do that one thing way back in the 60s or 70s. Ali was more than just a 30-second memorial clip running on the morning news. Muhammad Ali was The Greatest. There’s never been anyone like him. There never will be ever again.

All the words, the pictures, and the videos are simply not enough. Muhammad Ali was larger-than-life in ways that can never be sufficiently captured or explained. The best we can do is try to tell our children and grandchildren that there once was a man who overcame everything the world could throw at him to become The Greatest.

His name was Muhammad Ali.

Art / PotD / science

Only The Artists Survive

June 3, 2016

The modern artist must live by craft and violence. His gods are violent gods. Those artists, so called, whose work does not show this strife, are uninteresting. —Ezra Pound

charles i. letbetter - only the artists survive

When Artificial Intelligence takes all the jobs, what’s left for us to do but make art?

All the career advice sites are wrong. There is only one group that grows through all the coming economic and political upheavals and they’re not computer engineers, stock market gurus, or the incredibly brainy astrophysicists; they are artists. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it, that after all these centuries of struggling that it would be artists that ultimately survive? But that may very well be what the future has in store.

First, though, here’s the bad news: Computers are going to take your jobs. Artificial Intelligence (AI) is growing rapidly and even though AI is still years from matching humans on every level, they are incrementally improving every day. There isn’t likely to be one giant robotic takeover. Instead, they’ll simply take a few jobs here, a few there, and a few more later until they have them all. We will wake up one morning and realize that no one is hiring because all the jobs are automated.

Robotic arms have been a reality on manufacturing floors for several years. There hasn’t been a new car roll off an assembly line in 20 years that hasn’t been touched at some point by a robot. Just last month, fast-food chain Wendy’s announced that they are beginning to test self-serve kiosks operated by robots in response to rising operational costs. McDonald’s has already expressed interest in similar technology. Eventually, there will be no need for either manufacturing line workers or food service employees at any level of operation.

Financial services don’t get off any better. Earlier this week BMO Harris Bank announced it is laying off four percent of its workforce due to a decline in branch transaction. Why the decline? Automation. As cash becomes less of a necessity, we don’t need branch bank employees to handle checks or withdrawals. Almost every branch transaction can be done on a smartphone, including deposits. Stock exchange operations have also been largely computer controlled for over 30 years and are at a point now where floor traders are already obsolete, but the industry just can’t imagine giving them up. The entire sector will eventually dissolve into digital and AI operations.

The picture doesn’t get any better. Almost anywhere one looks, AI is slowly taking over. Slowly. First, they start with the tasks no one likes doing, the little things that are easy, things that are repetitive, jobs that seem to take more effort than they’re worth. We buy into the concept that they are saving us time and money. Over time, we continue giving them more tasks, the programming develops to the point they gain “intelligence.” Then, someone realizes it is more efficient to just let the computers and robots and digital devices do everything. At that point, you’re out of a job.

What do we do if there are no jobs? Well, maybe a flat rate income from the government is the answer. Silicon Valley start-up incubator Y Combinator is looking at that possibility. Earlier this year, they began a five-year study to examine the impact of giving everyone, without exception, a flat, standard living wage. The prospects are monumental and the results could reach every aspect of society as we now know it.

Not everyone is waiting for the research. Citizens of Switzerland are voting on a referendum this Sunday that would give every person a guaranteed income of 30,000 Swiss francs, equivalent to just over $32,000 in US dollars. The move has plenty of critics, to be sure. Yet, it is a real-world experiment that every other country on the planet will be watching should it pass.

So, when all the jobs are gone and everyone is living on a fixed government-provided wage, what’s left? Who still has the ability to generate revenue on their own?

Artists.

Probably not all artists, mind you. There are already computers doing impressive work composing music. And there’s a software in development that creates abstract digital art. Not everyone is going to succeed.

Still, artists are going to have a much better advantage than are those in more traditional fields of employment because what artists do is more difficult to interpret digitally. Artists don’t follow a specific set of rules or steps or procedures to produce a predictable and quantifiable outcome. Artists start from nothing, sometimes without even a clear idea, and create something from that nothing. All that abstract creative and emotional thinking is something AI is least likely to achieve.

Those in the practical arts, such as cosmetologists, estheticians, glassworks, fashion design, and the advanced elements of woodworking and ceramics, are not only going to survive this cataclysmic shift but they are best positioned to survive. The combination of creative artistry with the ability to fulfill a current and on-going demand puts these artists at the very top of the food chain. People who are not working are going to have more time to care about the aesthetics around them and are likely to invest more in looking good.

Fine artists aren’t left out of the equation, though. As the supply of all things AI-manufactured begins to grow, the demand for original, one-of-a-kind pieces is almost certain to grow as well. While AI may take away our jobs and our income, they won’t take away that basic human fallacy of wanting to have something that no one else has. In an economic society where everyone is paid exactly the same, social differentiation takes place along the lines of how one spends that money. Those who invest their money in things no one else has, or can have, become the new “upper class” in this aesthetically driven society.

Visual artists, those creating works that can be touched and possessed are likely to find high demand for their work. We are, after all, creatures of greed. That greed, for better or worse, has driven societies for over two millennia and isn’t going to stop just because the basic income is the same for everyone. Writers are likely to do very well, also, as the ability of AI to capture deep emotions through words is an aspect that may be impossible to duplicate. Actors are likely to do well, though they may find working with robots on the technical aspects of lighting and stage construction rather irritating.

Artificial Intelligence is coming. Combine that with the Internet of Things that looms on the very near horizon and the need for humans to do ordinary, everyday things diminishes dramatically. 2020 seems to be a year many are forecasting to be the first major turning point as driverless cars and fully automated services should be online and functional. Slowly, but surely, the day is coming when employment as we know it now no longer exists.

Unless you’re an artist. For the future, artists rule.

It’s about time.

Current Issues / PotD

Respect For Being Human

June 1, 2016

I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being. —Jackie Robinson

When it comes to listing one’s faults, those qualities that are the result of being human should never be among them

Humans are imperfect beings. One of the fears expressed in developing artificial intelligence is that as computers begin to realize just how inept and flawed we are they might consider us a blight on the planet that needs to be destroyed. There are days I tend to agree with the computers. We are selfish, mean, greedy, slothful, undependable, gluttonous, prideful, envious, disrespectful, racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, thoughtless, and absolutely despicable.

Even worse, we attempt to mask our failings with false justifications such as, “I’m just keeping it real,” or, “He’s just speaking his mind,” or, “I’m only telling you for your own good,” and, “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” Each of those statements is designed to cover for the fact that preceding and/or following statements are likely to be rude, insensitive, inaccurate, distasteful, inappropriate and downright mean. We have conned ourselves into believing that if we label the trash coming out of our mouths as “truth” then no one can argue against it.

Bullshit.

One of the things that make being human respectable is that we can change. Once our flaws and weaknesses are pointed out to us, we have the ability to correct our actions, to make amends, and we even have the ability to apologize. Just because we make a mistake once doesn’t mean we have to continue making that error. We can learn and improve. It’s called progress.

Unfortunately, we too often fail to utilize that benefit. Instead of improving ourselves and working on our own flaws, we would rather pick on other people, attacking aspects of their humanity over which they have no control, such as body size, shape, skin color, gender, sexuality, language, nationality, and other hereditary factors which come with the package of being a unique being. Too often, we see what we don’t like in ourselves and project that dislike onto other people, saying and doing things that are totally unacceptable and, in some cases, even illegal.

The 14th amendment of the Constitution reads in part:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

The most important, and frequently litigated, phrase from that section is “equal protection.” What this amendment ultimately means is that no citizen is to be discriminated against for any reason. There are no exceptions made, no allowances for differences of opinion. All citizens of the United States are to be treated equally. Period. While the amendment was adopted in 1868, though, we are still having an extreme amount of difficulty understanding that there are no exceptions to being equal.

One of the challenges is that many of the discriminatory and anti-human attitudes and activities that still persist are encoded in both tradition and the regulations we have made for ourselves. We have told ourselves that appearance matters, that certain traits are acceptable while others are not, and that some aspects of one’s personal being should be accentuated while others should be downplayed, hidden, and even surgically altered. In short, we fail to have respect for the fact that we are human.

We often refer to incidents of body-shaming. There have been plenty of such problems hitting the media lately. One of the most recent comes from actress Kate Beckinsale claiming that she was body-shamed by director Michael Bay while filming the 2001 movie Pearl Harbor. Ms. Beckinsale states:

I think he was baffled by me because my boobs weren’t bigger than my head, and I wasn’t blonde.

If we have made any improvements over the past 15 years, it may be that men, at least those who are in public on a regular basis, have been conditioned to, at the very least, keep their mouths shut when it comes to making statements about a woman’s physical appearance. When one does step out of line, the Internet, especially Twitter, is very quick to respond and call attention to any inappropriate statements.

Where we’ve not made such an improvement, however, is how women mistreat other women, and men actually seem to encourage their bad behavior. Catfights on reality television, which are considered ratings gold, only perpetuate a culture of disrespect and even physical violence between women and men do nothing but stand on the sidelines cheering them on! How do we not see how absolutely repulsive and repugnant our behavior is? Disparaging another person for aspects of simply being human is wrong on every conceivable level.

Some of you have been following our story from last week regarding the woman we named Lenore and the nipple shaming she had received from her employer. We then updated that story yesterday upon discovering that a second employee, whom we’ll call Julia, had received an even more harsh reprimand because of her Philippino accent. Never mind the fact that Julia has worked hard on her English and probably speaks better than 70% of the Americans who walk through the business doors. Because someone had complained, the owner of the business considered the accent a problem.

After we made that update, the owner of the business called Lenore and proceeded to thoroughly shame every aspect of her physical appearance, from her face to her footwear. Lenore was left in tears, totally humiliated for simply being human.

Earlier this morning, we received a message from Julia announcing that she was quitting her job. Lenore has not yet given official notice but plans to do the same later this morning.

We need to get it through our thick heads that we are all human and we need to show respect for those aspects of our humanity that are inherent to our being. We need to stop fat-shaming people who have thyroid and other physical conditions that make it impossible for them to safely lose weight. We need to stop beauty-shaming women who refuse to damage their skin by wearing an overabundance of makeup. We need to stop making fun of people’s language accents; at least they are bilingual, something the people doing the shaming can seldom say. We need to stop drawing attention to people’s body parts; whether breasts are big or small is totally irrelevant, as is their nipple size.

Showing respect for human beings means taking a look at things such as dress codes and eliminating gender bias and unnecessary restrictions that do not have a direct correlation to the duties being performed. We need to move beyond the Disney-induced notion that the less attractive a person is the more evil and unacceptable they must be. Disparaging people simply for being human is not something a progressive society can allow to continue.

Unfortunately, in far too many cases, we seem to be moving in the opposite direction. We actually have a leading contender for the office of President who routinely shames and makes fun of other people. His comments about women and minorities have been absolutely deplorable and represent the absolute worst aspects of being human. There is no excuse. There is no way to justify such deplorable behavior on the part of anyone.

While you may have a right to say what you wish, you have a responsibility to know when to keep your fucking mouth shut. If what you are about to say shows disrespect and/or discrimination toward another person, shut the fuck up! The circumstances are irrelevant. The media is irrelevant. Even the actions of the other person are irrelevant. You have a responsibility to show respect to all people, regardless of physical appearance, gender, race, national origin, sexuality, mental acuity, emotional stability, medical ailment, or physical challenges. If you fail to live up to that responsibility in any way, shape, or form, then you are WRONG.

Humans can be absolutely horrible creatures and do well to fear the presence of a more objective and intelligent being that might consider our faults justification for our demise. The only thing that stands in our defense is that we have the ability to change and to move beyond our shortcomings.

We need to get busy and start changing. Show respect for being human. Learn when to keep your mouth shut and start supporting other people rather than looking for ways to tear them down.

life

The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival. —Aristotle

Make Love, Not Scars

Never Alone

Manboobs

Dear Daddy

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Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? —T. S. Eliot

Take A Break

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As long as I can still be on my own and do my own thing and be working full-time, it’s great. —Marian McPartland

Full Time Is More Like Overtime

The Real Reasons

Honest Assessment

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True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us. —Socrates

Starting With An Open Mind

Understand We Have A Problem

Politics Blur Our Vision

Understand We Must Move Forward

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You don’t need to have Asperger’s to feel bewildered in a culture that relies so heavily on inconsequential chit-chat to grease the wheels of day-to-day life. —Lynn Coady

Unfriend or Unlike

Oh, But There’s Science

How Does That Make You Feel

More Unfriending To Come

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It is stupid on my part to think of banning the media. —Shah Rukh Khan

Body Image As A Matter Of Perspective

Body Image As A Matter Of Health

Body Image As A Form Of Judgement

Banning isn’t the answer

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Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. —Mahatma Gandhi

Some Get It Right

Reaching Even Deeper

Getting There From Here

Knowing Where To Start

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Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride. —Gary Allan

Complications Are Inevitable

Walking Days Are Numbered

Driving Becomes Illegal

Social Issues

We Have Options

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The world that we all knew before, could wake up in feeling safe… now it seems that everything has been turned upside down. —Tori Amos

Current Conditions

Fashion Takes A Hit

A Warning For America

Not Much Left

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What is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life? —Aldous Huxley

Gun Control

The UK Brexit Nonsense

Wall Street and Big Banking

Fur

Religion In Politics

Freedom of the Press

Global Warming & Science Denial

Rape Culture

Costs of College Education

Restrictions On The Human Body

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I have my own definition of minimalism, which is that which is created with a minimum of means. —La Monte Young

Minimalism Sounds Impossible

Honest Assessment

Ease Into It Gradually

Enjoy The Benefits

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