Leukemia

Morning Update  /  Natural Light  /  Personal
Morning Update: 03/30/24
March 30, 2024

Bluer Skies [2010]

Having the kids on spring break for the past two weeks has given me a chance to sleep late, something I have very much enjoyed. That ends on Monday, of course, and I’m not looking forward to being up at 6:00 AM again. The extra sleep has made a significant difference in how I feel throughout the morning. It is especially appreciated on days like today when thunderstorms came through around 6:00 and rattled windows and the roof of the carport. My body needed to be lying down through that mess.

Two hours later, the skies are blue, I have coffee, and the twins (cats) are back to sleep after a rambunctious round of the zoomies. The kids are in G’s room trying to get Tipper signed in to the VR headset. This morning could get more interesting than normal.

I’m not expecting much else today. I’ll eat breakfast, take my meds, check up on the science news from the week, and take the weather changes as they come. I don’t think we’ll have more rain until early in the morning, but I’m not moving far from my bed just in case.

Boring, aren’t I?

I will say that the proof of who the GOP is can be found in the disgusting antics of their trolls. The comments have gotten so severe and so hurtful that Lizzo said last night that she’s ready to quit. She didn’t elaborate as to whether that means she’s quitting social media (maybe not a bad idea) or performing, or music altogether, which would be incredibly sad. She’s always had to endure mean comments about her appearance, but the nastiness has become increasingly severe. Are these bots that are insulting the singer? Possibly. And if they are, they’re probably from foreign sources. Still, real people are repeating the ugliness and sharing it across various networks. Do we really want people like that in charge of anything?

This is life for today. It’s been a lot worse. Boring isn’t all that bad, is it?

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Cancer Update  /  Current Issues  /  Morning Update  /  News & Comment
Morning Update: 03/27/24
March 27, 2024

Tell Me Why [2009]

One sure sign that I’m dreaming is how healthy I appear. Have you ever noticed that? In my dreams, I’m more likely to be in my 40s, healthy, and strong. I can still do things like climb trees to get a shot, rescue the damsel in distress, and eat a fantastic meal without feeling ill afterward. Such dreams are a long way from this morning’s reality: old, cancerous, and in pain. I’m not as witty as I once was. I’m not full of quotable sayings. I don’t like how I look. Posture is an afterthought.

Have you ever noticed that television and media don’t know how to represent people like me? It’s easy to represent a gay couple as long as they both look good. It’s easy to represent someone handicapped as long as they can pull off witty banter. Including multiracial characters isn’t a problem anymore, either. But when was the last time you saw a well-defined character who has trouble physically getting out of bed in the morning? Has the crime ever been solved by someone who has to stop in the middle of a car chase to take their medicine? The closest I can think to that kind of inclusion was the old police drama “Ironside,” which started in 1967. Even there, they chose an actor (Raymon Burr) who was otherwise healthy and strong. He was extremely intelligent, and decisive, and showed no sign of muscle atrophy at all.

But then, who wants a main character that’s inherently weak, flawed, and frequently boring?

I was boring yesterday. I’ll likely be boring today. The wind is back out of the North today so I’ll likely spend a fair amount of the day wrapped in a blanket. There are plenty of leftover beans and cornbread so It’s unlikely that I’ll cook. I might take a shower.

The kids were all but invisible again yesterday. G is making friends in the VR community. Tipper is working on her art. Neither leave their room except to get something to eat. Sure, this is typical teenage behavior. To expect much more of them would be ridiculous. I don’t have anything exciting to keep their interest. I mean, what dad can compete with VR?

At least I’m not Utah state Rep. Phil Lyman who responded to yesterday’s collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge with the nonsensical statement, “This is what happens when you have Governors who prioritize diversity over the wellbeing and security of citizens.” In a second post, he wrote, “DEI=DIE.” And this numbskull is running for Governor of Utah. Other insane Republicans blamed the bridge collapse on Russia and open borders. How people get to be so fucking stupid is a situation I don’t understand. ‘Tis the season for desperate attempts to appear relevant, I suppose.

Maybe I’ll go back and re-process some older photos today. Or maybe I’ll just dream.

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Cancer Update  /  Morning Update  /  Personal
Morning Update: 03/26/24
March 26, 2024

Scratch The Itch [2010]

When I look back at my Facebook history from 13-15 years ago, I see statements like “Up early for a 6 AM shoot,” and “10:00 and two shoots in the can.” I might have complained about aches and pains from time to time, but I was up, active, and doing a lot of shooting. My biggest frustration was the models who didn’t show up and roommates who drove me nuts. I’m happy not to have roommate problems anymore (Kat and the kids are pretty cool for humans). But I miss having people in front of my camera, visitors dropping by at all hours, and moms calling to ask if I can take pictures of their babies. I really miss the babies a lot more than I thought I would.

Most of yesterday was as quiet as I had anticipated. The kids stayed in their rooms with their individual projects. I moved little more than between my chair and the bed. I did take the dogs out when they asked, but that was the most adventurous thing that I did. By 6:00 pm, even cognizant thought was gone. Rain moved in, causing an increase in the pain level to about an 8. Thankfully, the kids are old enough and capable enough to take care of their own dinner. I managed to get down a little of the rice that Tipper made but that was it.

I want to do more. I want to have a camera again. I want to invite people to shoot. While this morning wouldn’t have necessarily been the best day for a sunrise adventure, I’m sure we could have found somewhere interesting to create memorable photographs. I need a camera in my hand. I need to feel useful.

What have I done this morning? I have ham and beans in the slow cooker for dinner tonight. I’ve taken the dogs out. All 11 pets have been fed. All that took about 30 minutes. I am keeping up with the rescue efforts in Baltimore after the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge, but that’s not exactly the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done. My pain level is still sitting around a 7. I’m having just enough difficulty breathing that I notice it when I’m completely still. This needs to be another quiet day.

Our kids have the least exciting spring breaks ever. Consistently. I hope no teachers require a creative writing paper on “what I did over spring break.”

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Morning Update  /  Personal
Morning Update: 03/24/24
March 24, 2024

Universal Dreams [2010]

My brain is not tracking this morning. I’ve just spent the past 25 minutes sitting here at the desk looking at nothing. If this is how the rest of the day is going to go, we’re in trouble.

There still seems to be some guessing as to whether we’re going to get snow today. My bones say there’s a pretty good chance, but when I look out the window it appears that it’s stopping just to our West. Taking the dogs out this morning felt too dry for snow. Weather. I wish I didn’t have reason to care as much and could just let it happen.

Yesterday’s highlight was going to brunch with friends. There was plenty to discuss, and details to catch up on. They were even nice enough to take me by the store for more milk since we can’t seem to keep any in the house. Moments like these help more than one might imagine. Being stuck at home all the time makes it more difficult for my brain to not wander. Cognition suffers when there are no challenges. I need the conversation to keep me going.

Tipper completed her ComicCon journey yesterday. They decided to not return today since many of the vendors were already packing up and leaving yesterday afternoon. They managed to stay safe by avoiding the severe crowds pressing to see the various celebrities in attendance. There was only one guest that they identified with and weren’t compelled to suffer through the crowd to see her. As for the rest, “Who’s John Cleese?” should tell you all you need to know. They really weren’t interested.

A lot of cleaning needs to happen today but I’m not sure I can be the motivator in getting the kids to help. The longer I sit here, the more my body hurts. I had considered making pancakes from scratch this morning but that means standing for the better part of an hour and I’m not sure I can do that. The kids are still quiet so I doubt they would care if I went back to bed. Not even strong coffee is cutting it this morning. Do we really need the carbs? Probably not.

I apologize for not being the least bit interesting this morning. At least we’ve confirmed I’m still alive which is the whole point of these updates. Perhaps I’ll write more later.

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Morning Update  /  Personal  /  Status
Morning Update: 03/23/24
March 23, 2024

Out For A Ride [2014]

Everyone was out doing something yesterday, leaving me home alone to sleep. G had a shadow day for school, which he seemed to really enjoy. Tipper was at ComicCon, which was a definite hit. Kat worked, obviously, which she loves, but standing that long without a break is tough. I slept. I’m blaming the weather. While there was never heavy rain, weather conditions were enough to make everything hurt. The temperatures outside were decent enough, but I only felt warm when wrapped in a blanket. And my eyes kept watering. Still. It’s been over a week now and I can’t explain why my eyes water so much.

G forgot to take his meds before leaving yesterday, so he had a ton of anxiety to deal with which kept him awake well past 3:00 in the morning. How did he spend his late-night time? Texting Dad. I don’t mind. I understand how he feels in those moments. He wanted to go to sleep but his body refused to relax and let him close his eyes. He finally got up and ate something and that seemed to help.

Then, while we were texting, there was the distinct sound of gunfire. 14 shots to the north of us, 10 shots to the east. IMPD wants people to call 911 when they hear gunfire, but I don’t see the point of telling them that there were gunshots somewhere within a five-mile radius just as the clubs are closing for the night. I never heard any sirens so I assume that no one hit anything/one valuable. This is just how things are now. Any asshole has a right to carry, doesn’t have to be trained, doesn’t have to be registered, and can carry concealed. In that environment, there are going to be people who can’t help firing their guns. We’re thankful when no one gets hurt and move on.

Belvedere is antsy this morning. He was up pawing at my face, “Dad, I need to go out,” a little after 7:00. Normally, I wouldn’t mind so much. The weekday schedule has the dogs going out a little after 6:00. Everyone else in the house was still asleep, though, and once I was up Hamilton started whining while I was trying to get dressed. I can never get dressed quickly enough for him. I took out the dogs, fed them and the cats, made coffee, and retreated to the recovery room in hopes that everyone else would go back to sleep. Belvedere can’t seem to settle back down, though. I hope this isn’t some kind of harbinger of how the day is going to go. We all know animals feel and are aware of things humans don’t see/hear. I’d prefer not to have an anxiety-driven day.

The first part of the morning is always the most difficult. Yesterday’s meds have worn off or are wearing down. It’s too early to take today’s dose. I watch the clock, waiting for time to fix something to eat, and then pop the fun dose of chemo. Check blood sugar. Check blood pressure. Make sure you’re not dead. This is chemo life.

There are science updates in my inbox this morning. Perhaps I’ll find something suitably exciting there.

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Cancer Update  /  Morning Update  /  Personal
Morning Update: 03/22/24
March 22, 2024

Another Morning [2015 original photo with AI-modified background]

Going to bed early has its consequences. For two nights in a row, I’ve missed late messages that would have altered my morning had I been able to respond to them in time. Dear friends, I no longer exist in an environment where I have good reason to be up late. There are some nights when I am, but it’s by no means consistent. As a general rule, for anyone, messages need to be sent before 9:00 PM. Anything after that runs a high probability of being missed until the next morning or, perhaps worse, getting an angry response from someone who doesn’t appreciate being woken. A little consideration goes a long way.

Another consequence is that, once something does wake me during the night, I tend to stay awake. Last night, that meant I was still struggling to get back to sleep at 3:00 AM. Even the cats get annoyed when that happens because my tossing and turning makes it impossible for them to stay still. The cats start hissing and batting at each other, and that causes the dogs to run for cover. Now, no one is getting any sleep. The cats settle back down the easiest, and Belvedere, the hound, usually isn’t far behind them. Hamilton, the lab, has more trouble getting settled. His favorite place? Right across my pillows. Yeah, that’s a lot of fun.

Tipper is excited about going to ComicCon today and G is excited about doing a shadow day at a nearby company. The difference between attitudes on school days and today is extreme. I’m still nervous about Tipper being downtown, but Kat is working today which puts her just a little over a mile away from the convention center should she be needed. How things go today will likely determine whether I go camp out at a coffee shop tomorrow or Sunday. I still don’t trust the conflagration of sports fans and ComicCon attendees. Both have plenty of jerks in their midst and it only takes one sarcastic taunt to cause trouble. Putting both within the same mile square seems to me like a bad idea, but hey, it’s money so there’s no way the city is going to turn either down.

There’s a lot I don’t understand. For example, explain to me like I’m five why anyone still thinks that when a fight happens at school that it’s appropriate to punish the victim. Tipper was telling me of an incident at her school yesterday where one person, who is perpetually causing trouble, intentionally dumped chocolate milk and applesauce on someone who was minding their own business. I wouldn’t have blamed the second person had they gotten up and punched the living daylights out of the first person, but they didn’t. They sat their and took it hoping to avoid getting in trouble. That’s not what happened. Instead, because of the school’s “no tolerance” policy, both were suspended.

Have we not learned that policies like this are a defamation of justice? When there is a clear victim, are we supposed to ignore their trauma, and their pain, and blame them for simply existing? Why are we complicating the lives of children who already live on the edge in an environment where too many people are beating up on them in too many ways? Explain to me like I’m five, please, why we think this is an appropriate way to treat young people. I just don’t get it.

Again, there are consequences to our actions. One of the issues facing Democrats, in particular, this election season is that young voters, the ones who exist in numbers large enough to sway the outcome, are so upset with the state of government that they’re boycotting elections. First of all, young people need to understand that boycotting elections never works in the favor of the ones boycotting. Instead, we end up with a government even more corrupt, even more incapable of positive change, and dangerously close to dictatorship. Why risk that outcome? At the same time, however, how has either side proven that they can be trusted? Looking at their parents, their teachers, their local leaders, and their national representatives, young people see nothing but chaos and inaction. There’s a lot of talk and ruckus, to be sure. There are a lot of threats tossed back and forth. What young adults are not seeing is an example of responsibility from either side. This results in complacency because if the last eight years have taught them anything it’s that they can’t trust the geriatric crowd at all. They can’t trust them to keep kids safe at school and they can’t trust them to run the fucking country.

What scares me is that it’s probably too late to change attitudes before this election. I don’t see either side making the decisions that would cause young adults to feel that their leaders are trustworthy. Too many politicians are calling for violence if they don’t win. If schools have taught us anything it’s that the victims are the ones who suffer the greatest consequences in those instances. Are we all screwed? That’s certainly how it feels.

Meanwhile, both the Kansas and Missouri attorneys general filed a brief with the Supreme Court supporting the idea that presidents are immune from any prosecution for anything. Here we go again, the culprit, this time a sitting president, gets away with breaking the law and there are elected officials who are STUPID enough to think that’s just fine and, worse yet, the geriatric set just keeps voting for them! WHAT THE LIVING FUCK? Have you lost your ever-loving mind? One of the basic concepts of democracy is that NO ONE, not even a president, is above the law! We were all taught that in fifth grade! What’s with the complete stupidity here?

Churches aren’t helping, either. Television evangelists are telling their viewers that this election is “for the soul of America” and encouraging violence if the outcome doesn’t go their way (Republican). First off, this type of maneuver isn’t remotely Christian. There is no educated statement one can make that supports such filth. Second, what the fuck are religious nut jobs doing mixing politics and religion? Oh yeah, they want to speed us along to the “end of the age” because … uhm … Jesus. Sure, let’s kill billions of people so a few million can get their “heaven?” Are we supposed to believe any of that makes a lick of sense?

Oh, and Kentucky coach John Calipari, the king of one-and-done freshmen, once again blames his youngest players for losing to a 14-seed in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Heaven forbid the coach take some fucking responsibility for how his team plays. Heaven forbid Calipari set a good example. Heaven forbid the university to live up to the promises it makes to young athletes. When the geriatric league behaves like this, what choice do young adults have but to put as much distance between them as possible?

There are too many reasons to not trust politicians over 50. Fuck 80, this current group got too old too fast and is no longer good for being in charge of anything. I doubt they can even take their medicine without assistance. I can’t tell my kids to trust anyone when I don’t trust anyone who pretends to be in charge. The under-30 crowd is on their own, having been abandoned by the parents, the teachers, and the leaders they were told had their back.

But I’m supposed to be okay with sending my 14-year-old daughter to ComicCon this weekend.

I have multiple coffee shops staked out.

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Cancer Update  /  Morning Update
Morning Update: 3/11/24
March 11, 2024

A Warm Breeze
A Warm Breeze (2010)

Sunday was one of those days when I didn’t get dressed. Of course, I always have on a base compression layer that covers everything from my neck down, but I didn’t put on pants or a shirt. I didn’t go outside. I couldn’t find a suitable excuse. The energy required to put on clothes simply wasn’t there.

Perhaps I spent too much energy too early in the day. I did a load of laundry, took a shower, and made pancakes. That took everything I had. This is what no one talks about, the extreme fatigue that takes over and leaves you without any energy, not even enough to think. Consider when I wrote yesterday’s “sermon,” More Than Salad, it took me three hours not because the topic was difficult but because of the frequency with which I had to stop and look up words. One critical word search took more than 20 minutes because there wasn’t a good synonym. This is how the chemo tears away at the brain, relieving me of information that I’ve known for years, guessing at words as though I’d never written before. From my perspective, it feels that it’s only getting worse.

This is why talking to people in person is important. Writing is sometimes too sedate for my brain. My thoughts will wander down rabbit holes while I’m looking for just the right phrase. Conversation requires being there in the moment and replying in real time without editing or spellchecking. The topic doesn’t matter nearly as much as the act of conversing itself.

The night seemed to go well, we were all in bed by 9:30, until a very direct pain hit my forehead just above my hairline a little after 4:00. This wasn’t the radiating type of pain one gets with the typical headache. This is tight, less than a finger’s width, and maybe a half-inch long, and it was initially severe. Being the middle of the night, my brain immediately leaped to the worst possible conclusion: This is what a brain hemorrhage feels like; I’m dying. I then looked at my watch so that I could mark the exact time of my death, in case anyone asked. Obviously, I didn’t die. There’s still a hint of pain there, but I doubt it’s caused by a hemorrhage.

While we were sleeping, the Academy Awards took place. There were no surprises. Oppenheimer won the bulk, closely followed by Poor Things. Once again, the awards were too white, too conservative, and played it much too safe. Killers of the Flower Moon and Maestro were completely ignored. The only nod to Barbie was Billie Eilish for the song, “What Was I Made For.” BTW, having two Oscars at age 22 should tell us that we’re sleeping on Ms. Eilish’s talent. There was more back-patting for having survived last year’s strikes than meaningful dialogue or stirring speeches. The “In Memoriam” section might have been the most interesting part of the whole show. I’ve pretty much given up on the Academy “getting it right” in my lifetime.

Demonstrating just how over-reactive news agencies have become to photo editing, five agencies “killed” a picture of the UK’s Princess Catherine that was shot by the Prince of Wales and posted on the Kensington Palace website. According to the BBC, concern was raised because of an extremely minor adjustment in the Princess’ hand and a skirt alignment issue. These are the type of edits that I would fucking hope any decent photographer would make rather than just letting the image go out into the world looking bad.

Mind you, the photo was taken by Prince William, who is not a professional photographer. It’s a fucking snapshot of a mom and her kids. The Princess admitted to having edited the image herself and apologized for any confusion. In my experienced opinion, the concern and outrage is absolute balderdash (I like that word) and yet another example of how far up their ass agencies have driven the editing stick. What they’re asking of photographers is perfect photos that come right out of the can ready for publishing, no matter who took it. That’s way too much of an ask for how little photographers are paid.

Please take the time to leave a comment or a like or some breadcrumb that lets me know you were here. Yeah, I can read the stats, but that doesn’t give me names. I want to know YOU were here. And don’t forget to subscribe so that I don’t have to keep leaving reminders on Facebook. Thank you.

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Cancer Update  /  Morning Update  /  Music
Morning Update 3/9/24
March 9, 2024

Billy Joel, 1983
Billy Joel, “An Innocent Man” 1983 pressing [2024]

Night was cut short despite going to bed early. I was still dressed when my head hit the pillow a little after 8 PM. Despite having spent most of the day in bed thanks to all the rain, I felt exhausted. Somewhere along the line, I did finally drop down to my base layer, but even then I wasn’t conscious enough to remember my actions. The possibility existed that I might actually wake up feeling rested.

Until 1:30 AM. Hamilton decided that was an appropriate time to go out. His signals are obvious. He shakes a couple of times, then does a fake sneeze. At that point, my only choice is to either get up, get dressed and take him out or deal with piss in the hallway later. Belvedere is pretty good about holding it for an insanely long time. Not Ham.

Of course, it was raining. We were out for three painfully long minutes before coming back in as quietly as possible, trying to not wake anyone else. I herded the dogs back to the room and shut the door to ensure that they wouldn’t roam around making noise. Ham took that as a signal he needed to jump on the bed and roll all over the place sending cats scattering across the room.

A week has passed now since I last visited Mansion Society. I miss that atmosphere and the chance to sit somewhere other than the Recovery Room and talk with someone. If you’re interested in a morning chat, please let me know. If you don’t do caffeine, they have some great homemade lemonade or original Coke in a bottle with real sugar, the way the gods intended. Consider this your contribution to my continued treatment.

One matter needs clarification this morning. Someone is spreading a rumor that at least three surgeries are necessary after recovering from chemotherapy for CLL. Generally speaking, that information would be wrong. According to the American Cancer Society, it is rare that a splenectomy is necessary after chemotreatment. Surgery does not cure blood cancers. Chemo can put CLL into molecular remission, which is our goal, but no permanent cure exists. Please, stop spreading rumors. My oncologist gets tired of questions they’ve already answered.

Billy Joel’s 1983 album, “An Innocent Man” is on frequent repeat this morning in the Recovery Room. The whole thing. Six hits came from this recording, forming a stylistic foundation for music in the mid-80s. This one is important because it’s recorded during the period he was first dating Christie Brinkley. A song about her even appears on the album. He knew what he was getting into before the wedding.

It’s the lyrics to the title song that keeps me resetting the needle over and over.

Some people stay far away from the door
If there’s a chance of it opening up
They hear a voice in the hall outside
And hope that it just passes by.

Some people live with the fear of a touch
And the anger of having been a fool
They will not listen to anyone
So nobody tells them a lie.

…

You know you only hurt yourself out of spite
I guess you’d rather be a martyr tonight
That’s your decision
But I’m not below
Anybody I know
If there’s a chance of resurrecting a love
I’m not above going back to the start
To find out where the heartache began.

Some people hope for a miracle cure
Some people just accept the world as it is
But I’m not willing to lay down and die
Because I am an innocent man.

How many people do I know, including myself, who can relate to the song on multiple levels even now? There’s a timelessness to this album that makes it invaluable.

I have more to talk about, but it’s taken two hours and two trips outside with the dogs to get this much written. I’m going to take a break.

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Cancer Update  /  Current Issues
Why Care?
March 7, 2024

Snap, Crackle, Pop

Caring Is Just Too Difficult

Not all caring, of course. I care about individual people, how far it is to the nearest coffee shop, and whether one of the dogs has pooped in the hallway. There are always things to care about.

Caring is really difficult, though, when you don’t see any progress and when others who cared begin to give up, and you start feeling alone. Cancer of any kind is a long haul. You don’t really “get better.” You have good days. You have bad days. You’re in remission. You’re in relapse. And what worked for one person doesn’t work for you.

Particular to leukemia, there is a bone marrow disease, myelodysplastic syndrome, that can occur after chemo is completed. The disease can dramatically shorten one’s survival rate. But there’s no way to know if one is likely to get myelodysplastic syndrome until after all the chemotreatment is complete.

There’s also the drain that comes with longer terms of chemo, such as some oral treatments that stretch out at least two years. Two years is an eternity for friends and family who start wishing you’d just “get over it” or “start feeling better.”

People get tired of hearing you ask for help. They get tired of worrying whether you’re safe.

And no, you’re not safe. Ever. There’s always something to worry about. Are you taking your meds on time? Is insurance covering your meds? Do you need to adjust your meds? Will a dizzy spell hit out of nowhere? Will you fall? If you fall will you break something?

What’s more frightening than anything, though, is that people who care just give up and start walking away. Being emotionally alone is scary as hell. Sure, you may be in a “safe” environment, but you don’t know those people, and caring for you is their job, one that doesn’t pay enough, leaves them with sore feet and backs, and has an incredibly high turnover rate. How is anyone supposed to feel safe in that environment?

If caring is too heavy a burden, perhaps the answer is to just be alone, away from everyone. If we cut all ties, that saves everyone the trouble of caring, doesn’t it?

After all, no one wants to be a burden.

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Fashion  /  Personal  /  pop culture  /  PotD
Is There Life Outside Fashion Weeks
September 17, 2016

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. —Soren Kierkegaard

 

charles i. letbetter - is there life outside fashion weeks

The crowded schedules of fashion weeks are totally consuming, but we try to not miss the important stuff.

Life gets incredibly busy, doesn’t it? There is always an abundance of activities available and one has to pick and choose carefully which gets our attention. Well, at least we try to pick and choose. At this particular moment, there is a kitten on my desk. His name is Fred Fredburger. Two weeks ago we weren’t sure this little guy was going to make it. Now, not only is he healthy, he has decided to join “guy time” with me, the dog, and the older male cat we call Fat Guy. Fat Guy and the dog are sound asleep, as  is their usual activity for 5:00 in the morning. Fred, on the other hand, is on my desk, peeking over the top of the computer, and batting pens onto the floor. He’s rather insistent that I give him my attention.

I am wholly consumed by fashion weeks this time of year. Even as I’m writing now, I’m waiting for the Jasper Conran runway presentation to start in London. I’ve already walked the dog (in the rain), cleaned the kitchen counter, and am well into my second pot of coffee. The fashion schedule from this point forward is packed and keeping up with the elements of life transpiring outside the fashion world is challenging.

So,we took a few moments this morning to look through some headlines and, with Fred’s help, we’re going to take a moment to consider things that probably should be full articles in themselves, and would be if time was more in our favor. Any strange words you see are Fred’s.

Happy Birthday, Zach

Talk abut full schedules. 25 years ago today we welcomed our first baby boy into the world. He didn’t make it easy on his Mother. Me, I sat there and ate cheeseburgers until he finally got around to showing up. He changed our world, turned it upside down in the most wonderful ways, and managed to survive despite the fact we really didn’t know what we were doing.

Zach is at that age now where giving him any advice is rather trepidatious. He is at that core Millennial age and as such life is a very different experience for him than it was for his parents at that age. I was engaged and married his mother when I was 25. He’s taking a more non-traditional path in no small part because the choices that were easily available to me are simply not there for him and I can’t change that. College doesn’t look so good when his peers are graduating thousands of dollars in debt and still not able to find decent jobs. I don’t blame him for taking a different path.

In a lot of ways, Zach has a better head on his shoulders than I did at his age. Sure, he makes mistakes, those are inevitable; but any errors he’s made are understandable and reasonable for who and where he is. He’s carving out a path for himself in a world that isn’t all that welcoming. He’s doing well for 25 and I hope he has a wonderful day.

A Bit Of Good News

Cancer rates in children have declined by one-fifth since 1999. This is a good statistic. Sure, we’d rather there not be any childhood cancers at all, but the fact that the overall numbers are going down mean we’re doing a better job of preventing this horrible disease from affecting our children. The numbers are down across the board regardless of race or gender, which is even better news. Boys are still at more risk than girls, but the rate of decline was similar for both.

Especially promising is the fact that Leukemia is no longer the leading cause of death among children. Those numbers have decreased substantially. This can be attributed to a number of things such as improvement in infant health care, fewer parents (and grandparents) smoking, and better overall living conditions. If ever there were an argument for spending more federal funds on early childhood healthcare, this would be it.

Of course, when one disease leaves the top spot another takes its place. In this case, brain cancers have taken over as the leading cause of death in children 19-years-old and younger. Causation for this one is a lot more difficult to diagnose. Hereditary conditions play into some forms of brain cancer, but so do things like environment and mother’s nutrition. There is still so much about brain cancer we don’t know that putting a dent in its numbers is extremely difficult. No one wants to think about children dying, but they do. We need to make this a priority.

Light ‘Em Up

I know, it seems rather counterproductive to talk about smoking anything after mentioning that Leukemia rates are down, but this is important. The LA Times editorial board published a piece yesterday supporting the legalization of recreational marijuana use. The question is on California’s ballot in November as proposition 64. This comes six years after an unsuccessful attempt that the Times opposed.

A couple of quotes from the editorial caught my eye:

It is ultimately better for public health, for law and order and for society if marijuana is a legal, regulated and controlled product for adults.

By sending mixed messages, the federal government has effectively ceded its role and left it to states to create a new national marijuana policy that legalizes marijuana with minimal harm and meaningful protections.

There a lot of untested claims about marijuana and THC that deserve legitimate study, not shady articles from questionable magazines. There are a lot of young black and Latino men in prison unjustly who this law would benefit. Four other states in addition to California are voting on similar measures. The time has come to legalize recreational use of marijuana and set a new national policy toward use of the plant. Even if you don’t smoke, this makes sense.

Oh, And Football

This afternoon is the Oklahoma/Ohio State football game. The season is still young and the fact that OU dropped its first game against Houston shouldn’t be taken as any indication that the Sooners won’t be ready when the Buckeyes show up in Norman.  I wish I could say I will be awake for every moment of the game, but I probably won’t. As much as I love college football, I’ve already been up long enough to be needing a nap. By game time, I’ll be looking for a bed.

At least I’m not at the University of New Hampshire where anger against their new scoreboard could make their game this evening against Dartmouth actually worth watching. Okay, maybe not the  game itself, which is likely to be a snoozefest for anyone who’s not an alumni. There’s more spirit in Durham surrounding that damn scoreboard. Why? A very frugal library employee died and left his entire $4 million estate to the university. Now, one might think that the university would spend the majority of that on the library. Nope. They bought a new scoreboard for the football field at a cost of $1 million. The library got $100,000. I can see where the alumni might be pissed.

I enjoy college sports and consider them an important part of university life. They give thousands of young people the chance at an education they would otherwise not receive. At the same time, though, the fact that college football, specifically, has become the strongest revenue source for almost every Division I school is disgraceful. The list of moral wrongs in that situation is wrong and the fact that UNH could justify spending a million dollars on a scoreboard while academic programs suffer says very bad things about us as a society.

But, There’s Still Fashion

So very much fashion. Three shows have walked in the span of time it has taken me to write this article. The parade is never ending and the more I try to ignore it the more fashion makes itself unavoidable. I mean, I just saw a model nearly hog tied by her own skirt as she attempted to walk. How the hell am I supposed to ignore that?

So, let’s just leave it with Happy Birthday, Zach, glad you don’t have brain cancer, and GO SOONERS! We now return you to all the reviews on Pattern.

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