Brace For Impact.
Despite over two years of constant chemotherapy treatment, I feel more like a cancer patient this morning than I have in several months. Perhaps it is the cold weather that has my chest feeling tight, the draw of each breath a careful ‘in through the nose, out through the mouth’ thought. Maybe it’s the multiple nights of restless sleep. I suppose it could be an excess amount of caffeine in my system (not bloody likely). Knowledge that this could be our last weekend of freedom is also a concern. From any perspective, this morning presents a rare struggle to complete a simple sentence. I type a few words, stop to take deliberate breaths, and then take another drink of coffee.
Cancer numbers are up, which surprises no one that I know. Anecdotally, I could have told you that the many forms of cancer are skewing toward younger females just by surveying the women who befriend me on social media. Cancer isn’t waiting until people hit the age of 50 or older before it strikes. Black and Native Americans are dying at rates two to three times higher than white patients even as more cancers become treatable. We look for someplace to lay the blame. Our diets? Yes. Our lifestyles? Yes. Genetics? Yes. Just plain old bad luck? Absolutely.
Researchers are quick to say that we have a lot of control in mitigating the risks of getting cancer, but once it latches onto us, what then? Take a look at all the medicine bottles lined up on my desk. The biggest bottle, of course, is the chemo that I take each morning right after breakfast. There are two medications to address my sugar levels. But then, there are also meds to protect my kidney because the diabetes meds mistreat it a bit. There are also meds to keep nausea at bay. Lipitor keeps my cholesterol in check. Other meds attempt to control my mood and anxiety, though I’m not sure how well they’re working. All in all, it takes fifteen minutes every morning to get all my meds down, and that’s after I’ve gone on a scavenger hunt to see where the cats hid the bottles.
I’ll admit to being a little jealous of those who go through six to eight rounds of chemo and then get to ring a bell. I still have two months to go, and after that, there’s a chance that my situation could get worse. After all, two years is a long time for one’s body to adjust to the poison it’s being fed. There are days, like today, and yesterday, and pretty much all this week, when it feels as if this suffering is never going to end. I keep asking Kat to shoot me. She continually refuses to do so.
In through the nose, out through the mouth. We can do this, right? RIGHT?
Making matters worse, hell quite literally freezes over on Monday. The current forecasts show Monday morning’s low to be an icy -4F. Tuesday could be as low as -7. Fortunately, the kids don’t have school on Monday. The collision of complete ideological opposites on the 20th is something I don’t think has gotten enough attention.
On one hand, we got this email from the school yesterday:
Dear Parents and Students,
This is a reminder that there will be no school on Monday, January 20, 2025, in observance of the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday.
We encourage everyone to take this time to reflect on the values of equality, justice, and service that Dr. King dedicated his life to promoting.
At the same time, though, we’re re-inaugurating what the Associated Press refers to as ‘American Carnage.‘ While checks and balances put a practical limit on what Felonius Punk can do on Day 1, there is no question that the nation is bracing for impact as the oligarchs take a hammer and chisel to our country. Yes, the use of those words is intentional.
Somehow, we’re supposed to juxtapose those opposites even as our brains and bodies are freezing. I’m pretty sure Dr. King and associates would be up in arms to see what is happening, but there are no big marches planned this year. Lawsuits are the weapon of choice this time around. They’ll take longer, cost more money, and will have questionable outcomes, but then, so did the marches of four years ago. Personally, I’m kind of with Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore in the movie ‘Apocalypse Now,’ when he said, “There’s nothing like the smell of napalm in the morning.” Especially if it’s DC that’s burning.
Oh, I’ve added to my social media spread. You can now find me on BlueSky Social at @ciletbetter.bsky.social. I’m not expecting it to take the place of anything else, but, in the words of ‘The Little Mermaid,’ “I want to be where the people are.”
I think I’m done for this morning. Pinball (cat #9) wants to snuggle. He’s not giving me a choice.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Morning Update: 10/07/24
Afternoon on the Lake [2024]
There are fresh cat scratches on my body this morning. For reasons I’ve yet to understand, the cats scattered around the room when I went to bed all decided they needed to not only sleep next to my head but to secure their positions by digging their claws into my flesh. Solaris insisted on sleeping on top of me and didn’t want to move when I got up. Instead, he dug his claws in and climbed up my back to sit on my shoulder. Frankie, the smashed-face wheezer kitty, grabbed hold of my hair and wouldn’t let go. Bit slapped me in the face when I tried to roll over. Kronk, aka Pinball, dug into my shoulder. I’m not sure how to interpret this behavior. I definitely look and feel like I lost a fight.
The highlight of yesterday was not football. In fact, I didn’t watch any of yesterday’s games. Instead, Tony Shaw picked me up and we sat out by the lake chatting and watching the boats on what was perhaps the last good-weather day of the year. I’m sure I looked ill, being the only one sitting out there in long sleeves and jeans. Everyone else was running around in shorts and swimwear. I was comfortable, though, and had a fantastic time. Kat even stopped by for a moment on her way to pick up the kids. This was the afternoon I needed. Besides, the Colts lost to the 0-3 Jags. I didn’t miss anything.
While we were sitting there swapping stories, Tony and I briefly touched on the topic of how we’re going to handle the winter. This is the second year in a row where I’m hitting Autumn and the looming cold feeling weaker and more exhausted than I was this time last year. Sure, the numbers looked great at the doctor’s office on Friday, and I’m grateful for that, but the day-to-day reality has me dreading the coldness of winter. My bones already hurt. I was comfortable out there in my long sleeves. I’m getting by, but I’m not okay and that is driving me sort of mad. I’m going to need some help getting through winter.
Both kids are home today and tomorrow. They’re not going to like me. Today, they need to catch up on all the chores they skipped over the weekend. Tomorrow, they need to mow the lawn one last time, without my help. We’re still not sure whether G will get to go to Florida; the situation there isn’t good. I’m anticipating them making alternative plans. Tipper will undoubtedly attempt to spend some time with her friends as well. All the more reason for them both to get their chores caught up now.
Evacuation orders have been issued for almost the entire state of Florida. Here is how this morning’s map is looking:
You’ll notice a couple of significant changes from this time yesterday. First, they’re anticipating Milton will reach Category 4 while still out in the Gulf. This makes perfect sense. In fact, I was telling Tony yesterday that there was no way that this storm was going to settle at Category 3. Second, the landfall projection is now about 50 miles South of Tampa. This is good news for those in Florida’s panhandle and the Carolinas, but bad news for Miami, who looked to dodge the storm in yesterday’s map. And again, if you live anywhere in Florida, you need to get the fuck out. Now. I know one friend has plane reservations for this morning, and another was already making travel plans. Some are suggesting that this is a ‘once in a lifetime’ storm, with a level of evacuations not seen since Hurricane Irma in 2017.
Don’t play. This storm is so bad, I’ll make an offer I probably shouldn’t make (Kat’s asleep so we haven’t discussed it, but I know how she feels). If you live in Florida and have absolutely nowhere to go, and aren’t allergic to cats, you can come here. We’ll pitch a tent in the yard if we have to. Sure, our little 900-square-foot house is already bursting at the seams, but you’ll do better up here than you will in Florida. I would be devastated if we lost a friend because they didn’t think they had anywhere to go. Just get the fuck out of this storm’s path. There’s no playing around with this one.
Today is October 7. Along Israel’s border with Gaza, reminders of the trauma of the Hamas-led assault are inescapable as the few who have returned try to start anew. This morning’s headlines look like this:
Let me be very clear: There are no good guys in this war. Every day, each of the parties involved is committing more war crimes for which they are unlikely to be punished. They are listening to no one, including their own people. If it were up to me, I would duct-tape the leaders of Israel, Iran, Hamas, and Hezbollah to their chairs so they can’t fire any more missiles, and tape their mouths shut to end the rhetoric. Don’t let them go until they’re ready to sign a permanent cease-fire. Egos are what is driving this war. The whole mess needs to stop. The world has better things to do.
Who’s doing better things? Victor Ambros and Gary Ruvkun, the two Americans who were awarded the Nobel Prize for Medicine earlier this morning. “MicroRNA provide genetic instructions to tell cells to make new proteins and that there were two main areas where microRNA could be helpful: in developing drugs to treat diseases and in serving as biomarkers.” This changes many games, including finding treatment for various forms of cancer. See? These are the kinds of things humans can do when they’re not having to dodge bombs or be assaulted by political rhetoric. We should be doing more of this, not ruining the lives of innocent peoples.
There are a couple of heads-up articles to take in this morning. Affordable housing could disappear by the tens of thousands. I know, for many of us this is a ‘duh’ statement. We’ve not had affordable housing since the pandemic. This warning, however, underlines the reality that an already bad situation is about to get worse. This inevitably leads to a higher rate of homelessness, which cities don’t know how to handle. Some crimes, particularly sexual assault and theft, are likely to increase as well. There are answers, but you won’t like them.
Did you know there are shyster dentists? Apparently, there are. The AP is warning people to not fall for fake dentists offering veneers and other dental work on social media. “These self-described “veneer techs” often promote themselves on Instagram and TikTok, promising a full set of veneers for less than half of what dentists typically charge. Some also market their own training courses and certifications for people looking to get into the business.
“It’s misleading, health professionals warn — and illegal. All states require dental work, including veneers, to be performed under the supervision of a licensed dentist.” Don’t be one of those who get taken in by all the flash and glitz of social media. It’s not real and it could seriously affect your health.
There are also a couple of sciency things I didn’t get to over the weekend. First up: Computers can be trained to exhibit pareidolia, the phenomenon of recognizing faces in objects. There are some interesting inferences here. One is that if AI can “see” faces where they don’t actually exist, what does that mean for facial recognition programs? Can they be trusted? Second, is pareidolia a learned behavior or a natural phenomenon? If AI can be trained to see faces, the implication is that humans can be “trained” in a similar fashion. Does anyone really need to see things that aren’t there? Can we take this in the other direction?
The second deals with the smoking habits of 18th-century English women. New research finds that women puffed away at various tobacco products during that time. Not just a few women, mind you. Almost all of them. At the core of this discovery is a novel technique analyzing metabolites of tobacco in bone that could be applied to other substances, potentially revising views of past health and behavior. The better we understand what killed people in the past, the better able we are to avoid such things in the future and understand the origins of some hereditary traits. It’s an interesting read if you’re looking to avoid actual work this morning.
There’s also news of a possible ovarian cancer vaccine in the works. The research is being done in the UK. If successful, it could eliminate the need to remove ovaries for women at high risk. Ovarian cancer is extremely painful and brings some nasty, life-altering side effects along with it. The development of a vaccine could improve the lives of millions of women.
That’s all I’ve got this morning. I’m looking over at the two dogs stretched out beside me, sleeping away, and thinking that I may just need to join them. No one else in the house is up yet, the cats have been fed and are quiet, so there’s no good reason for me to not catch a few more Zs.
Or a couple more cups of coffee.
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