WE ARE DONE (for now)!
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NO MORE CHEMO! Yesterday was officially my last dose. While I still have a table full of other meds I’ll still have to take, the daily poisoning that I’ve endured for the past two-plus years is over! I want to give a HUGE THANK YOU to Kat and everyone else who has endured and put up with me over this less-than-fun journey. This is a trip that I do not care to repeat, ever, though that is, in reality, highly unlikely. Still, my oncology team is convinced that my numbers have been good enough for long enough that we can consider my leukemia to be in remission! PARTY TIME!
Well, okay, maybe hold up on that party thing a little bit. The doctor was careful to explain that being in remission doesn’t mean I immediately stop showing symptoms. Doing daily chemo for over two years means I have a lot of the drug in my body. The poison isn’t going to suddenly go away just because I stop adding to it. Recovery from the drug could take just as long as the chemo did, and there are some symptoms, such as chronic fatigue, that may never go completely away.
One of the things the doctor warned about was symptoms seeming to disappear for a while and then suddenly returning without any warning. While nausea and night sweats are the symptoms most likely to reappear, he warned that I should always keep my cane handy because there’s no way of knowing when my muscles might decide to shut down and stop working. He said the symptoms can also mimic a cold or the flu. Should such symptoms reappear, he requested that I call the cancer center before calling my GP to consider whether what I’m experiencing might be a leftover from the chemo.
What does ‘being in remission’ mean if I’m still going to be just as sick? Let’s start here:
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The doctor emphasized that there is no way to be absolutely sure that CLL is in complete remission. There is a test that can be done with a bone marrow sample, but it is still considered highly experimental as no one is quite sure what to do with the results. As a result, he recommended against the rather painful procedure. Instead, I’ll do quarterly check-ins with the nurse practitioner, and as long as those pesky numbers don’t start to climb again, we’ll assume that the remission is holding.
There’s also no way to accurately predict how long the remission might hold. Five years is pretty much the max for most people, but there’s always the chance it could be as little as six months. His recommendation was pretty standard: get plenty of rest, eat well, exercise when I can, and avoid any serious stress. Apparently, the doctor hasn’t been reading a lot of news lately.
In the meantime, I have a fine needle biopsy of a nodule on my left thyroid this morning. My anxiety wishes that Kat could be there with me, but she has other things to do and, by any means of accounting, this is a rather low-risk procedure. I just have to stay completely still.
HAVE YOU MET ME?
I don’t think I’ve ever stayed completely still for anything! A local anesthetic will be used, and then they carefully poke a needle into my neck. I can’t imagine anything going wrong there, can you? I’m told the whole thing shouldn’t take more than two hours, and then I can come back home and sleep off the anesthetic.
Having a nodule is not necessarily indicative of yet more cancer. Should the biopsy come back positive, thyroid cancer is typically handled by an endocrinologist, not an oncologist. Same building, different floor, different doctor. The nodule has sat there untreated for the past two years, though, so chances lean more toward it being benign.
Where do I go from here? Assuming the whole thyroid thing is a nonissue, I have an appointment with the neurologist that may be rather involved. There could be a surgery or two involved there. I’ll need to see a urologist again, and there could be a surgery involved there as well. I still need to be in an assisted living facility, but as Medicare/Medicaid budgets get tossed around, who knows when that might happen?
A part of me wants to get back to work taking pictures again. I would have to make a lot of adjustments, though. I need to be able to sit down more often than standing. Indoors is better than outdoors. No extreme weather in any direction. No chasing breaking news stories. For that matter, probably no chasing static news stories. Still, I feel like the photo ideas have just been piling up for the past three years. I want a camera in my hand again.
For now, we’ll just worry about this whole FNA thing, get through it, then chill for the weekend. I’m sure next week will bring a whole new set of problems. There’s never any shortage.
So, who’s down to party?
Morning Update: 10/07/24
Afternoon on the Lake [2024]
There are fresh cat scratches on my body this morning. For reasons I’ve yet to understand, the cats scattered around the room when I went to bed all decided they needed to not only sleep next to my head but to secure their positions by digging their claws into my flesh. Solaris insisted on sleeping on top of me and didn’t want to move when I got up. Instead, he dug his claws in and climbed up my back to sit on my shoulder. Frankie, the smashed-face wheezer kitty, grabbed hold of my hair and wouldn’t let go. Bit slapped me in the face when I tried to roll over. Kronk, aka Pinball, dug into my shoulder. I’m not sure how to interpret this behavior. I definitely look and feel like I lost a fight.
The highlight of yesterday was not football. In fact, I didn’t watch any of yesterday’s games. Instead, Tony Shaw picked me up and we sat out by the lake chatting and watching the boats on what was perhaps the last good-weather day of the year. I’m sure I looked ill, being the only one sitting out there in long sleeves and jeans. Everyone else was running around in shorts and swimwear. I was comfortable, though, and had a fantastic time. Kat even stopped by for a moment on her way to pick up the kids. This was the afternoon I needed. Besides, the Colts lost to the 0-3 Jags. I didn’t miss anything.
While we were sitting there swapping stories, Tony and I briefly touched on the topic of how we’re going to handle the winter. This is the second year in a row where I’m hitting Autumn and the looming cold feeling weaker and more exhausted than I was this time last year. Sure, the numbers looked great at the doctor’s office on Friday, and I’m grateful for that, but the day-to-day reality has me dreading the coldness of winter. My bones already hurt. I was comfortable out there in my long sleeves. I’m getting by, but I’m not okay and that is driving me sort of mad. I’m going to need some help getting through winter.
Both kids are home today and tomorrow. They’re not going to like me. Today, they need to catch up on all the chores they skipped over the weekend. Tomorrow, they need to mow the lawn one last time, without my help. We’re still not sure whether G will get to go to Florida; the situation there isn’t good. I’m anticipating them making alternative plans. Tipper will undoubtedly attempt to spend some time with her friends as well. All the more reason for them both to get their chores caught up now.
Evacuation orders have been issued for almost the entire state of Florida. Here is how this morning’s map is looking:
You’ll notice a couple of significant changes from this time yesterday. First, they’re anticipating Milton will reach Category 4 while still out in the Gulf. This makes perfect sense. In fact, I was telling Tony yesterday that there was no way that this storm was going to settle at Category 3. Second, the landfall projection is now about 50 miles South of Tampa. This is good news for those in Florida’s panhandle and the Carolinas, but bad news for Miami, who looked to dodge the storm in yesterday’s map. And again, if you live anywhere in Florida, you need to get the fuck out. Now. I know one friend has plane reservations for this morning, and another was already making travel plans. Some are suggesting that this is a ‘once in a lifetime’ storm, with a level of evacuations not seen since Hurricane Irma in 2017.
Don’t play. This storm is so bad, I’ll make an offer I probably shouldn’t make (Kat’s asleep so we haven’t discussed it, but I know how she feels). If you live in Florida and have absolutely nowhere to go, and aren’t allergic to cats, you can come here. We’ll pitch a tent in the yard if we have to. Sure, our little 900-square-foot house is already bursting at the seams, but you’ll do better up here than you will in Florida. I would be devastated if we lost a friend because they didn’t think they had anywhere to go. Just get the fuck out of this storm’s path. There’s no playing around with this one.
Today is October 7. Along Israel’s border with Gaza, reminders of the trauma of the Hamas-led assault are inescapable as the few who have returned try to start anew. This morning’s headlines look like this:
Let me be very clear: There are no good guys in this war. Every day, each of the parties involved is committing more war crimes for which they are unlikely to be punished. They are listening to no one, including their own people. If it were up to me, I would duct-tape the leaders of Israel, Iran, Hamas, and Hezbollah to their chairs so they can’t fire any more missiles, and tape their mouths shut to end the rhetoric. Don’t let them go until they’re ready to sign a permanent cease-fire. Egos are what is driving this war. The whole mess needs to stop. The world has better things to do.
Who’s doing better things? Victor Ambros and Gary Ruvkun, the two Americans who were awarded the Nobel Prize for Medicine earlier this morning. “MicroRNA provide genetic instructions to tell cells to make new proteins and that there were two main areas where microRNA could be helpful: in developing drugs to treat diseases and in serving as biomarkers.” This changes many games, including finding treatment for various forms of cancer. See? These are the kinds of things humans can do when they’re not having to dodge bombs or be assaulted by political rhetoric. We should be doing more of this, not ruining the lives of innocent peoples.
There are a couple of heads-up articles to take in this morning. Affordable housing could disappear by the tens of thousands. I know, for many of us this is a ‘duh’ statement. We’ve not had affordable housing since the pandemic. This warning, however, underlines the reality that an already bad situation is about to get worse. This inevitably leads to a higher rate of homelessness, which cities don’t know how to handle. Some crimes, particularly sexual assault and theft, are likely to increase as well. There are answers, but you won’t like them.
Did you know there are shyster dentists? Apparently, there are. The AP is warning people to not fall for fake dentists offering veneers and other dental work on social media. “These self-described “veneer techs” often promote themselves on Instagram and TikTok, promising a full set of veneers for less than half of what dentists typically charge. Some also market their own training courses and certifications for people looking to get into the business.
“It’s misleading, health professionals warn — and illegal. All states require dental work, including veneers, to be performed under the supervision of a licensed dentist.” Don’t be one of those who get taken in by all the flash and glitz of social media. It’s not real and it could seriously affect your health.
There are also a couple of sciency things I didn’t get to over the weekend. First up: Computers can be trained to exhibit pareidolia, the phenomenon of recognizing faces in objects. There are some interesting inferences here. One is that if AI can “see” faces where they don’t actually exist, what does that mean for facial recognition programs? Can they be trusted? Second, is pareidolia a learned behavior or a natural phenomenon? If AI can be trained to see faces, the implication is that humans can be “trained” in a similar fashion. Does anyone really need to see things that aren’t there? Can we take this in the other direction?
The second deals with the smoking habits of 18th-century English women. New research finds that women puffed away at various tobacco products during that time. Not just a few women, mind you. Almost all of them. At the core of this discovery is a novel technique analyzing metabolites of tobacco in bone that could be applied to other substances, potentially revising views of past health and behavior. The better we understand what killed people in the past, the better able we are to avoid such things in the future and understand the origins of some hereditary traits. It’s an interesting read if you’re looking to avoid actual work this morning.
There’s also news of a possible ovarian cancer vaccine in the works. The research is being done in the UK. If successful, it could eliminate the need to remove ovaries for women at high risk. Ovarian cancer is extremely painful and brings some nasty, life-altering side effects along with it. The development of a vaccine could improve the lives of millions of women.
That’s all I’ve got this morning. I’m looking over at the two dogs stretched out beside me, sleeping away, and thinking that I may just need to join them. No one else in the house is up yet, the cats have been fed and are quiet, so there’s no good reason for me to not catch a few more Zs.
Or a couple more cups of coffee.
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