Finding pleasant stories is becoming increasingly difficult
Storytime holds an honored and sacred place in the bedtime routine of millions of small children, including ours. Little man prefers reading his own story now, given that he’s reading at a higher level than twenty percent of American adults. Baby girl, however, prefers having me tell her a story. Not read her a story, mind you. Again, she could read stories herself if that’s what she wanted. Instead, she prefers, demands actually, that I tell her a story every night at bedtime. She won’t go to bed quietly without it.
I have to admit that finding a story that’s sufficiently easy to tell within a reasonable time frame every night is difficult. Some nights, her stories are extremely short, especially when her behavior hasn’t exactly been top notch. Other times, I just start off down a path with a character and see where it takes us. She really doesn’t mind as long as I make a couple of funny voices along the way. For her, it’s not just the story, it’s spending the last few minutes of the day with Daddy, something that is important to a six-year-old.
While I can easily enough make up stories to amuse the Tipster, however, finding stories that I can use here is considerably more difficult. I refuse to be yet another post-truth writer who just makes up bullshit without citing any references. I take seriously what we put online even if no one else does. Finding topics that are lighthearted, though, is becoming extremely difficult.
When I’m telling stories to the little one, it is important to keep them light and simple so as to not introduce anything that might become a nightmare. When I look through the headlines every morning, though, nightmares seem inescapable! Is this how our dystopia begins?
The Nightmare of a Factless World
Before I go off on a tangent here, let me request that if you have not read yesterday’s main article on challenging belief systems, please go and do so now. That article is infinitely more important than this one and has more of the qualities of our normal Sunday morning sermon. Please, I beg you, read and share that article before this one.
The stories I encounter on a daily basis come from a variety of sources, most of which are at least moderately journalistic at their foundation. Typically, the most important stories are listed at the top of a page, like a newspaper, with lighter fare and amusements coming further down the page, or at the back of the magazine. If nothing else, there’s always Reuter’s Oddly Enough section which finds those stories that are a little quirky and unusual. Reuter’s is having difficulting finding those stories, too, though.
Perhaps part of the problem here is the assertion by some that “There’s no such thing, unfortunately, anymore, of facts,” I’m not kidding. That quote comes from a paid CNN contributor talking with NPR’s Diane Rehm. You can read that totally depressing story in the Washington Post. If there is one thing that we have discovered in the past few months it is that approximately 46% of the US population believes a story based on the emotion it triggers rather than the credibility of its information. What that ultimately means is that everything one sees in print or reads on Twitter is now a fairy tale. Nothing is actually true. Everything is make-believe and one can just add to the story as though we were all participating in a giant work of fan fiction.
Unfortunately, the fairy tale we are creating is one full of nightmare-inciting characters and situations. Our minds can’t believe any of this is true and the more we try to make sense of any of it the more we find ourselves screaming out in terror.
When one of the children has a nightmare, they come running for a comforting hug. We have no one to give us that reassurance, though, because there is no one we can trust and there is no waking from this nightmare. We are stuck.
What Are We Talking About?
Tossing and turning and not sleeping at night seems to be plaguing more of us than usual. At the beginning of this year, I would get up at 4:00 AM and almost feel as though I had the Internet to myself. All my friends and associates on this continent were asleep. My middle son, the Marine, would be finishing up his day in Okinawa and we might chat back and forth a bit, or I might engage in brief conversation with an acquaintance in Europe. The whole setup was nice and quiet, making for a reasonably quiet start to my morning.
Today, however, there were three “live” streams taking place in my Facebook newsfeed. I left a comment on someone’s post and was surprised to receive an almost instant reply. The number of people I see complaining of insomnia has risen from maybe one or two a week to four or five every day. This is all anecdotal, mind you. There’s no science behind my observation so it is entirely possible that the finite size of my study group is producing a false result. Still, there’s no question in my mind that there are more nightmares in our world now than there are lullabies.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a Nigerian novelist and a MacArthur Genius Grant recipient who has been called “the most prominent” of a “procession of critically acclaimed young anglophone authors is succeeding in attracting a new generation of readers to African literature” At least, that’s what it says on her Wikipedia page. I don’t know her personally. She also is an occasional contributor to The New Yorker. In her most recent opinion piece for that publication, she writes:
Now is the time to resist the slightest extension in the boundaries of what is right and just. Now is the time to speak up and to wear as a badge of honor the opprobrium of bigots. Now is the time to confront the weak core at the heart of America’s addiction to optimism; it allows too little room for resilience, and too much for fragility. Hazy visions of “healing” and “not becoming the hate we hate” sound dangerously like appeasement. The responsibility to forge unity belongs not to the denigrated but to the denigrators. The premise for empathy has to be equal humanity; it is an injustice to demand that the maligned identify with those who question their humanity.
Something tells me Ms. Adichie is experiencing the nightmares, too. We want them to end. Yet, each morning when the alarm goes off we find that they continue.
We need better stories
The stories I’m reading this morning are only fueling the well-stoked fire of my ongoing nightmare. Generally, I find the words of Stephen Hawking to be somewhat comforting. He tends to have a rather positive outlook toward the future. This morning, however, I’m reading a recent article of his where he says:
… we are living in a world of widening, not diminishing, financial inequality, in which many people can see not just their standard of living, but their ability to earn a living at all, disappearing. It is no wonder then that they are searching for a new deal, which Trump and Brexit might have appeared to represent.
A bit later he goes on to write:
… we are at the most dangerous moment in the development of humanity. We now have the technology to destroy the planet on which we live, but have not yet developed the ability to escape it. Perhaps in a few hundred years, we will have established human colonies amid the stars, but right now we only have one planet, and we need to work together to protect it.
Dr. Hawking makes a noble attempt at ending the article on a positive “we can do it” kind of note, but this nightmare has stripped me of any faith that humanity can pull its collective head from its pompous and oversized ass. Sure, we can improve our world, but I’m not seeing sufficient desire to actually do so.
Last week (I’m just now getting around to reading it) Ian Buruma declared that we are at the end of the Anglo-American order. He goes to great lengths (translation: it’s a long read) to show just exactly how the US and UK are no longer fit to lead the rest of the world as they have done in the past. He writes:
The self-flattering notion that the Western victors of World War II are special, braver and freer than any other people, that the United States is the greatest nation in the history of man, that Great Britain—the country that stood alone against Hitler—is superior to any European let alone non-European country has not only led to some ill-conceived wars but also helps to paper over the inequalities built into Anglo-American capitalism. The notion of natural superiority, of the sheer luck of being born an American or a Briton, gave a sense of entitlement to people who, in terms of education or prosperity, were stuck in the lower ranks of society.
We’ve lost our grasp on what is real versus what is fantasy. We’ve become so accustomed to making shit up as we go, flying by the seat of our pants so-to-speak, that we think there are no facts because we’re too consumed with the fiction to recognize the reality when it is encountered. We have grabbed hold of the nightmare as though it were an amusement park roller coaster, screaming at the downward spirals and then laughing at ourselves as we prepare to plunge even deeper into the infinity of despair.
I don’t know about you, but I need a break from the nightmare. The stress has become noticeable. Kat has mentioned more than once this past week that I’m snapping at the children, yelling and screaming at the drop of a hat. Granted, I’m a grumpy old man on the best of days, but the stress of this continual nightmare, and the worry that we might never wake up, is removing any sense of pleasantness I might have.
We need better stories. We need stories that are not just fluff but genuinely good news about improvements to the overall human condition. I’m saying that while hoping it’s not too late, that the nightmare hasn’t completely taken over.
We need a break. I fear what happens if this nightmare of a story continues. None of us may be able to sleep ever again.
No, You Do Not Understand
True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us. —Socrates
A recent survey illustrates how wide the gap is between how whites and blacks perceive racism
What we understand about any given topic is generally a lot less than what we like to think. Even after thirty-plus years, you won’t catch me claiming to know everything about photography. Knowing the limits of what we understand on any topic is important. Being open to different perspectives and various sources of information helps us to learn and grow.
What we understand, or don’t understand, about race, though, is critical. What we think we know shapes our attitudes and perceptions not only about the topic of race, but about the people whose appearance is different than our own. The tone of our voice, the vocabulary we use, even our physical mannerisms change based on what we think we understand about people of different ethnicities and backgrounds.
There are gaps of perception between people of any two races, but the strongest and perhaps widest gap, particularly on the topic of race and equality, may lie between the two most broadly identified groups: blacks and whites. A new survey released Monday by the Pew Research Center highlights just how incredibly wide that gap is. For all the advancements we like to think we’ve made, what we understand about each other isn’t much at all.
Starting With An Open Mind
I feel, to some degree, that I’m coming into this conversation with a perspective that may leave me disadvantaged. I don’t identify as either white or black. Both Cherokee and Choctaw ancestry exists in our family makeup, along with a hodgepodge of European strains. I choose to identify with native peoples because I feel that ethnicity more closely relates to who I am. Interestingly enough, when my hair is long people tend to respond to me in the context of a person of native heritage. When my hair is short, though, as it is now, I am treated more like an old white guy.
I also have the ability to observe how Kat’s children are treated. While their biological paternity is black, they are both relatively light skinned. Little Man even has light blue eyes. Tipster is the darker of the two, but rarely has anyone, including teachers, identified them as being of mixed race. Their exposure to black people and black culture is limited to classmates and neighbors.
What we understand, the nature of our experience, is changed by how we racially identify. Our perceptions are based upon what we perceive in comparison to our own experience. Therefore, we must come into any conversation about race with our minds open to the fact that what we actually understand is very limited.
Understand We Have A Problem
Racial inequality in the United States is a problem. Denying the severity of that problem makes it worse. We see inequality in the justice system. We see inequality in the policing of black and white communities. We see inequality in education. We see inequality in legislative representation. If we genuinely want to understand each other more and improve the situation, we must first acknowledge that the problem is real. Unfortunately, not everyone seems able to do that.
While whites generally recognize that blacks are treated less fairly in legal matters, especially those involving police, their perception of inequality in more normal, everyday activities, such as applying for a loan or mortgage, at work, or when shopping or dining out
is skewed. Blacks understand the inequality of those situations because they experience the inequality of those situations. Whites, on the other hand, are blissfully unaware of the struggle blacks face simply trying to do the same things everyone else does.
Perception does not necessarily equate with reality, but the sizable gaps in those perceptions illustrate the severity of the problem. White people, as a group, don’t understand just how much inequality black people experience. Perhaps, as that awareness increases, the perspective can change. Helping people become aware of the problem is the first step toward solving it.
Politics Blur Our Vision
One major factor in how whites perceive racial inequality is political party affiliation. Generally speaking, Republicans understand far less the reality of racism and are often quite annoyed when the topic is even raised. They mistakenly think they have a good understanding when the reality is they don’t have a clue.
For example, on the question of how much attention is paid to race, 41% of whites say that too much attention is paid to the topic. By contrast, 58% of blacks say we discuss race too little. Break that down by political party, though, and the picture gets more interesting. Among White Republicans, 59% say too much attention is given to matters of race, among Independents, 42% agree, but only 21% of Democrats hold that belief. 49% of white democrats believe that too little attention is paid to racial inequality.
Some numbers we see played out in real life. 78% of white Democrats say the country needs to continue making changes addressing racial inequalities. By contrast, only 36% of Republicans agree and 54% of Republicans believe things are just fine the way they are. If you were wondering how a racist, bigoted xenophobe could become the presidential candidate of the Republican party, you now have your answer.
Understand We Must Move Forward
One place where both blacks and whites agree is that individual discrimination is a greater issue than institutional discrimination. How we treat each other, one person at a time, makes a tremendous difference. Improving our personal relationships with each other inevitably trickles up into how corporations and institutions treat people. We each make a conscious decision when we meet someone how we are going to treat them and that has to improve.
Legislative representation at every level of lawmaking has to improve as well. This is challenging so long as political gerrymandering of voting districts is legal. Especially in the South, there are too many districts whose lines are so impossible distorted that it is impossible for black people to elect a black representative. At the federal level, there are only 43 black members of the House of Representatives and, quite shamefully, only one in the Senate. Being woefully under-represented is criminal. We need more black representatives in Congress.
Finally, we need to accept that white people don’t understand the challenges of the black community nearly as much as they think. Whites must take a new look at the tremendous advantage their race affords them. The playing field is nowhere close to level and white people, in overwhelming numbers must commit to changing that situation.
Sure, you have a black friend or two, and maybe you even work with black people, but if you think you really understand the challenge of being black in America, you’re wrong. Open your eyes. Open your mind. Let’s change this country.
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