indianapolis

Just For Fun  /  PotD
Over-The-Top Burger
July 20, 2016
charles i. letbetter - over-the-top burger

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars. —Charles Kuralt

 

charles i. letbetter - over-the-top burger

America is on a constant quest for the best burger and it’s a challenge never satisfied

I am not a foodie. I think we’ve established that by now. The last time I made a comment about local restaurants I was vilified for having a contrary opinion. However, if there’s one thing that gets my attention it’s a good burger. I love them. When Esquire magazine included Indianapolis’ Bru Burger Bar on its list of best burgers in each state, it didn’t leave me with any real choice but to chime in.

The danger here is that there is no such thing as the perfect burger. Americans are as divided on burger contents as they are on presidential candidates, perhaps more so. One can’t eat a presidential candidate with a side of fries and feel satisfied. Everyone has their own opinion as to what constitutes a good burger. Everyone thinks that their opinion is best. As a result, there will never be any large-scale agreement as to what makes the best burger. Don’t even go there.

What we can do, though, is take a look at what makes a good burger. Let’s consider the universal elements for a decent burger and what we expect when we walk into a burger joint anywhere in the country. Eating is fun, but sometimes creating them is more joy.

What The List Said

The same list that included Indy’s Bru also included a lot of other great burgers. While almost all of them made my mouth water, here are a few that sound especially wonderful:

  • Kula burger at Stewz Maui Burgers, Hawaii. Sitting on top of locally-sourced beef, this burger makes me hungry with avocados, red onion, a shmear of slow-roasted garlic, slow-roasted Poblano, Monterrey jack cheese, and house-exclusive chipotle lime aioli. Such a wonderful mix of flavors, possibly served somewhere within decent proximity of a beach (I can only hope), makes my stomach rumble at the thought.
  • Seward’s Folly, West Rib Pub & Grill, Talkeetna, Alaska. It’s going to take someone with a helluva lot more stomach space than what I have to even think about eating this burger. Five pounds of food in one setting is insane.  However, the ingredient list has me licking my chops. Caribou, ham, bacon, unhealthy amounts of cheese, lettuce, grilled onions, and proprietary “Fat Ass” sauce. You’ll want your cardiologist on speed dial if you actually try this burger, but the contents in smaller quantity would be wonderful.
  • Bubba Burger at Doc Crow’s, Louisville. This one’s within driving distance and we’re through Louisville every once in a while, so I may have to put this on our list. In addition to ground beef, there’s pulled pork, beef brisket, onion rings, coleslaw, fried green tomato, and a fried egg. While I’m a little concerned about how messy a fried egg can be, the combination of flavors make for serious gastronomical excitement.
  • Dublin Burger, The Barley House, Concord, New Hampshire. They had me at peppercorn-charred. Then they had the nerve to make me drool publicly by adding whiskey gravy, creamy bleu cheese, and crispy onion rings. If I can talk them into serving that with roasted potatoes and Johnnie Walker Black Label I might just die and go to heaven, or Nirvana, or some other form of cheeseburger paradise.

There are a lot of really tempting flavor combinations throughout the list. I feel for anyone who had to try them all.

What Makes A Great Burger

Again, being extremely subjective here, it seems there are some basic components to making a burger worth the inevitable heartburn and bloatedness. While anything is potentially a candidate for a burger topping, some combinations just worked better than others. If resources are readily available and budget isn’t a hindrance, here’s what I think makes a really good burger.

  • Quality meet. Start with really nice ground sirloin, around 80% lean. If the option is available too me, I like going in and selecting the cut of meat and having it ground fresh. Ground beef that has sat around for a few days just doesn’t have the same flavor. Something I like but didn’t see on Esquire’s list is mixing other ground meats, such as sage pork sausage and lamb. The enhanced flavors really make a burger take great before adding toppings.
  • Onions. Raw, grilled, sauteed, caramelized, or in deep-fried rings, every good burger needs onions. If you’re worried about your breath, bring a mint.
  • Flavorful cheese. There’s nothing wrong with putting a strong, sharp cheddar on a burger but I get excited when I see a combination of cheeses that include bleu, Gruyère, Havarti, Monterey Jack, or Muenster.
  • Creative sauces. I am not a big fan of the standard ketchup, mustard, and mayo combination. They leave a burger sloppy and mask the other tastes. I like original sauces, especially those that might include a touch of meat dripping, just a touch of something vinegary, and a hint of sweetness. There should be just enough to  provide moisture for the other toppings, but not enough to overwhelm.

From there, take the burger wherever you want. The possibilities are limited only by one’s imagination.

A Sad Irony

What really sucks about all this burger talk is that no matter how they’re prepared, I know they’re going to make me ill. I have my mother’s genes to thank for that. For the moment, I’m able to suck it up and endure the inevitable pain. I really like a good burger. However, I know that as I get older the day will eventually come when I have to give up this basic comfort food I love so much. I’ve tried replacing ground beef entirely, but the taste just isn’t the same. I’m screwed.

Still, there are times when burgers are worth whatever challenges and difficulties they might present. Burgers with friends are some of the best times anyone can have. Burgers are even good when they’re not quite as perfect as you might have hoped. Just the fact that you’re having a burger is enough of a reason to be happy.

Hopefully this little discourse doestn’t offend anyone. If it does, my recommendation is that you go have a burger and smile through the rest of your day. Nothing could be better.

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Current Issues  /  Mythology  /  PotD
Peace Eludes Us For A Reason
June 27, 2016
charles i. letbetter - peace eludes us for a reason

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. —Mahatma Gandhi

 

charels i. letbetter - peace eludes us for a reason

Our desire for peace is stymied by the road blocks we forcefully push into the path.

Peace is possible. I have no problems with that concept. We can live in harmony with one another, be happy together, and live more fruitful lives. We’ve known this my entire life and we know exactly how to get there.  So why does peace elude us? Why do we seem to careen from  one conflict to the next?

For billions of people, the path to peace lies within their religion, their belief system, and that should work. With as many people who believe on some level, one might expect that peace would be inevitable. Unfortunately, in too many cases, it is the leaders of those religions who toss up roadblocks. When religious leaders spew hate, when pastors stand on pulpits (literally) and claim that their deity should strike dead all LGBT people, or support a bigoted, xenophobic, homophobic candidate for president, they put hate in the way of our path to peace.

Not that we need their help. We  provide enough roadblocks on our own. Our continued quest for power and dominance over other people, or even our own lives, creates canyons that become impossible for us to cross. Our inability to give up our desire for things, our desire for external pleasures, our insistence on being the best at any and all costs, make finding peace impossible.

Some Get It Right

Not everyone is quite so removed from peace. There are a couple of people who stepped forward over the weekend and offered, once again, to illuminate the path to peace for us. Interestingly enough, both are the top religious figures within their extended belief systems. They differ on a great number of details, but they both know the way to find peace.

Pope Francis was aboard a flight to Rome from Armenia, talking with reporters, when he made a statement that shocked many but lit a candle of awareness for many more believers. He said:

 I believe that the Church not only should apologize to the person who is gay whom it has offended but has to apologize to the poor, to exploited women, to children exploited for labor; it has to ask forgiveness for having blessed many weapons. The Church must say it is sorry for not having behaved as it should many times, many times — when I say ‘the Church,’ I mean we Christians because the Church is holy; we are the sinners. We Christians must say we are sorry.

The Catholic church has traditionally been slow to apologize for anything. What Pope Francis instructs believers to do, however, is cleansing. Making amends for wrongs of the past clears away many of the roadblocks that prevent us from moving forward. He sets an example for people to follow not only in asking forgiveness but effectually stating that actions the church has  taken toward LGBT people, the poor, women, exploited children, and its stance on weapons are wrong.

Reaching Even Deeper

While the pope’s comments are welcome and refreshing to the ears, they alone are not enough to drive us toward peace. Apologies and asking forgiveness are a good start, but there are more personal issues with which we need to content.

Probably the best use of my time this weekend was watching and listening to His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibetan Buddhism during his visit to Indianapolis. That over 6,400 people were in attendance speaks to how many people are struggling along a path toward ultimate peace and tranquility. The Dalai Lama’s words were often mixed with humor, but his instructions were strong.

“We are all brothers/sisters,” the Dalai Lama said frequently in an address focusing on compassion. He related compassion as the most human of emotions. “Now scientists even say, basic human nature is compassionate. The compassionate feeling toward your enemy, the trouble maker … only we human beings can do that.” He referred to the love a mother has for her child and a child for its mother, instructing that such love breeds compassion that is the source of peace for the world.

Getting There From Here

The Dalai Lama offered many ways we can remove the roadblocks holding us back from achieving peace, both personally and corporately. Among them, were:

  • Stop linking religion to violence and fanaticism. “There is no such thing as Muslim terrorist or Buddhist terrorist,” he said. “There is just terrorists. … Those who commit such acts of violence are insincere in their religion.”
  • Education of the current generation is key. Multiple times the Dalai Lama emphasized that compassion must be part of the curriculum and an emphasis in how we teach children if there is to be any hope of change. He said that it was “too late” to change the hearts and minds of older people, but that the education of children in how to be compassionate could bring a more peaceful world.
  • Everyone has the potential for love and compassion within them.  The Dalai Lama spoke often of a “seed” of love within everyone that holds the potential for compassion and that we must first focus on growing that seed before attempting to take on the world.
  • Action, not prayers, changes the world. The Dalai Lama brushed off the concept that prayers and “releasing pigeons” had anything to do with world peace. Rather, he said, “We created this violence, so we can reduce this violence.”
  • Accept that we are all the same. Again, referring to the world’s population as brothers/sisters, he said, “Sometimes there is too much discrimination on color, on class — rich and poor. This actually (is a) man-made distinction.” He emphasized that we call come from one source. We are all the same.

Knowing Where To Start

Looking across what seems like a minefield of obstruction, one might feel overwhelmed by all that must happen before we can change the world. The starting place should be obvious: start with yourself. There is nothing we do, nothing we say, that is not an extension of who we are and how we feel about ourselves. We must change ourselves before we can change the things outside ourselves.

Maybe, just maybe, religion might work for some. The Dalai Lama said, “All religions carry the same message — love, compassion, things like that. That’s the basis of our harmony.” Understanding, of  course, he is referring to the core tenets of religious belief, not the various bastardizations found in the majority of worship centers.

Others may find that path through meditation, yoga, deliberate focus, conscious awareness of the temporal nature of all things, finding happiness in being.

There is more than one way to get there, but each of those starts with you and I finding that seed of love within us, building that into an immense compassion, and then teaching that first to our children and then to others.

We can achieve the peace that eludes us but we cannot expect it to come from anyone other than ourselves.

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Current Issues  /  Personal  /  Social Commentary
Domestic Violence Intervention
June 15, 2016

This is not love. It is a crime, … You can’t look the other way just because you have not experienced domestic violence with your own flesh. — Salma Hayek

 

charles i. letbetter - domestic violence intervention

When Kat witnessed domestic violence taking place, she stepped in to stop it. Not every response was so helpful.

One thing I’ve learned having US Marines in my life is that they are not passive. When they see a situation that requires immediate attention, they act; it’s in their nature, a part of their training that never leaves.

That response kicked in yesterday while Kat was on her way home. Coming up to the intersection at 30th and Kessler, on the West side of Indianapolis, she found a small car sitting a couple of spaces back from the traffic light, not moving. As she watched, she saw the male passenger grab the female driver by the hair, pull her across to his side of the car, and bang her head against the window. That was all she needed to see.

Kat pulled around in front of the car so it could not easily leave and rescued the woman who was being beaten, removing her from the car to a position of safety outside. As they were calling 911 for help, the male passenger moved to the driver’s seat and stole the car, swerving around Kat and speeding away, leaving the woman stranded.

IMPD was there almost immediately, two female officers well equipped to handle the situation. They took statements from both Kat and the victim. As part of standard procedure, the officers warned Kat that what she did was dangerous, that she should have called 911 rather than stopping. We’ve both heard that line before. The risks are real, but the immediate risk to the woman’s life was greater.

But then …

As the officers were sending Kat on her way, one rather wryly made the statement, “Don’t worry, it’s just drugs and prostitution.”

Kat’s anger seethed. She knew better than to confront the officer right there and came on home. Nothing she could say at that particular moment would help the situation. She knew, though, that the woman wasn’t likely to get the help she needed.

Women across the country were outraged last week when a California judge let a former Stanford swimmer get off on a rape charge with only a six-month sentence, of which he’ll only likely serve three months. The story illustrates just how deeply ingrained the rape and abuse cultures have become in our society. Despite numerous ad campaigns attempting to draw attention to the issue, and even mandatory classes on many college campuses addressing date rape and matters of consent, the justice system itself, and even some in law enforcement still holds to the demeaning and outdated concept that someone’s actions, gender, style of dress, state of sobriety, or occupation naturally leaves them open to and even deserving of domestic violence, abuse, and even workplace violence.

Too often, and for too many years, our society has tolerated the lame excuse, “She was asking for it.” I cannot imagine the mind of any intelligent and critically reasoning person ever believing such a horrendous statement. Who asks to be abused? What person asks to have their hair pulled, their body dragged across a car and their head ferociously beaten against a window? In what insane universe could those actions of violence ever be justified?

Look at the numbers

Domestic violence is one of the most serious issues facing our country, but one which very few want to discuss, and even fewer of us are willing to get involved. Take a look at these statistics:

  • Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
  • Every day in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
  • Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
  • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
  • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

The rate of incidents is appalling and in a country that is serious about stopping the ever-increasing rate of crimes such as mass shootings we should be looking at those with a history of witnessing or being involved in domestic violence as the primary source. If we want a safer America, we first have to start with safer homes, safer relationships, and a justice system that punishes the perpetrator, not the victim.

A little respect, please

As disappointing as the officer’s statement was yesterday, such a lack of respect is not unusual. Kat listened in on the 911 conversation and found the operator dismissive and condescending, as though she didn’t feel the need to take the crime seriously. Others have reported similar 911 experiences where operators either delayed in sending help, or downplayed the severity of the situation.

Let’s get this straight right now: NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED! Prostitutes are not asking for it. Drug addicts are not asking for it. Drunks are not asking for it. Women who dress in short skirts, high heels, or low-cut dresses are not asking for it. Strippers are not asking for it. Female bartenders are not asking for it. Housewives who burn dinner are not asking for it. Children who are loud and noisy are not asking for it. Homeless people are not asking for it. Mentally or emotionally incapacitated people are not asking for it. Elderly people are not asking for it. Those who disagree with you are not asking for it. Those who challenge a presidential candidate are not asking for it.

NO ONE IS ASKING FOR IT!

The woman Kat helped yesterday was almost certainly involved with some form of controlled substance. That does not exclude her, however, from the protection and respect that every human being deserves! Even if the woman is a prostitute, she still does not deserve to be beaten. She deserves respect, she deserves the same help you would want for your own wife or daughter.

We must end this culture where we think that anyone deserves to be treated with violence of any kind. What people deserve is compassion, sympathy, and love.

One More Thing

Before I end, let me say that we know domestic violence takes many forms and that getting away from that violence is often not easy. If you live in Indiana and need help, there is someone you can call:

800.332.7385

The members of the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence (icdavinc.org) will do their best to help you change your situation and find safety. As always, if you feel your life is in immediate danger, call 911.

What Kat did yesterday involves a high level of risk and is not the type of intervention I recommend for most people. Kat is a highly trained and experienced United States Marine. The action she took may have saved a life. We don’t question the quality of that life or judge the woman in any way. She deserves to live free of violence just as much as you or I. We hope she gets all the help she needs.

And thank you, Kat, for being brave enough to intervene. I love you.

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Current Issues  /  Photography  /  PotD
Love Is Still Alive
June 13, 2016
charles i. letbetter - love is still alive

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. —Marcus Aurelius

 

charles i. letbetter - PRIDE is still alive

What happened in Orlando Sunday morning causes everyone who is LGBT and LGBT Allies to hurt. But PRIDE is still alive and will continue to be proud

We woke up Saturday morning excited about the parade. We drove downtown early to find a parking spot, walked down Mass. Ave. to get our coffee on, then walked back to claim our favorite spot from which to shoot the parade. Sure, it was warm and humid, but that was okay. We were prepared for that. Kat carried water and snacks in her purse. She and the kids sat in the shade and waited and even made some new friends.

We came home, exhausted but happy. The kids faces were red from the sun but they were more excited about the excessively large amount of candy they had received (which will be distributed among more responsible people). I downloaded the pictures, marked the ones that I liked, and enjoyed a nap. It was a good day.

Then, we woke up Sunday to bad news that just kept getting worse. By noon, we were wondering what the fuck was wrong with our country. We felt what all our friends were feeling: hurt, anger, and disbelief when the body count went to 50. How could this happen? Why would this happen?

Next came the realization that the day could have been worse. Los Angeles police received a tip that allowed them to stop someone that, at the time, seemed bent on disrupting the LA Pride parade. With the number of weapons and explosive making materials confiscated, considerable harm might have been done, though the young man’s motives remain unclear.

I offer no explanation nor excuses for to do so is folly. Hate is the bottom line and we can make all the excuses and place the blame a dozen different places but at the end of the day if we don’t address the hate we leave the door open for the same thing to happen again.

How do we address the hate? By showing more love. The LGBT community and their allies are hurting, but Love did not die on the floor at Pulse. LOVE is still alive. Love is not going anywhere. We will take a moment to reflect, to mourn, and to honor the fallen. Then, we will return to the clubs, to the streets, to the parades and we will show everyone that Love is still alive. We are embracing, still armed with acceptance, still ready to celebrate the individuality of every person, no matter how they identify with life.

We who are alive respect those whose lives were lost this weekend by bit letting these events weaken our resolve. Everyone has the right to be who they choose to be and no one has the right to take your personhood away, not with a gun, not with their speech, not with a stupid law about where to pee. We are alive and we are PROUD of those who stand in support of those who are different from themselves. We are PROUD that Indianapolis mayor Joe Hogsett and his wife were front and center at Saturday’s parade. We are PROUD that Democratic gubernatorial candidate John Gregg walked alongside LGBT supporters. We are PROUD that this year’s parade grew even larger and that more businesses stepped out of the shadows to show their support.

So, today we share our photos from Saturday, when we were happy, when we didn’t even think that someone might target such an event with hate, when we took PRIDE in being alive and sharing a moment with our LGBT friends. You’ll see the mayor, Cadillac Barbie, Mr. Gregg, and many more. You’ll see the drone that hovered above the parade route and a young man who looks angry but actually had just run out of bananas to give away. You’ll see bubbles and bodies and rainbows but more than anything you’ll see people happy to be alive and being free to be themselves.

Kat sent me a video this morning that I also want you to see. The scene is from a PRIDE event in South Korea. Parents of LGBT children stand in the street and give hugs to anyone, to everyone, to show that they are loved. I cannot help but wonder if this isn’t the attitude we need to take as well. What kind of message would it send if thousands of LGBT allies stood on the circle and gave hugs and messages of support not only to our LGBT friends, but to anyone who needs that moment of love and affirmation? I’ll put the video after the photos.

I never wear any color but black, but this morning there is a button on my shirt. It is round, bordered by a rainbow and says, “ALLY.” My plan is to wear that button everywhere I go, every day, for as long as I can keep up with the magnetic back, so that everyone I see will know that this weekend’s tragedy has not weakened our resolve. We are alive, determined to support our LGBT friends, and determined, more than ever, to love.

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PotD  /  Social Commentary
Pride Justified
June 11, 2016
charles i. letbetter - pride justified

What is pride? A rocket that emulates the stars. —William Wordsworth

 

charles i. letbetter - pride justified

LGBT Pride Month may not be popular with conservatives but as long as hate remains, the love is justified.

After a full day yesterday, we will be dragging the kids from bed in a few minutes, painting their nails, tossing something resembling food in their mouths, then heading downtown for the Cadillac Barbie Indiana Pride Parade. This is a regular thing for us. We’ve done it every year Kat and I have been together. More than any other event in town, this is the one we feel obligated to get up and attend.

Sure, the parade is always a lot of fun. The people involved go out of their way to make it fun. And for the moment, the biggest concern the kids have is, “will there be candy?” because, you know, in their minds that’s what parades are all about.

There are important reasons, though, for attending the Pride parade, even if the kids don’t understand just yet what those reasons are. I’m much happier taking the little ones to a parade rather than a protest, which is the only choice my parents had back in the 1960s. I can promise you there was no candy back then. While they may not understand now, one day they’ll look back and realize how important this time is both for us as a country and as a civilization.

Conservatives erupted with howls of hate when President Obama declared June LGBT Pride Month. The religious extremists among us screamed with fury. We’ve seen this kind of reaction before. They did the same thing with Civil Rights in the 60s and Women’s Rights in the 1920s. Every positive step forward we’ve made has been met with opposition by the same groups of people. They are unable to accept the natural progression and change that comes as we develop more fully as a civilization. They spew their hate and, if allowed to have their way, keep us thinking like Neanderthals.

With all the hate we’ve seen this year directed toward transgender people (the T in the LGBT acronym, in case you didn’t know), attending this year’s parade and supporting Pride is as important as ever. While the little ones may not even fully understand the concept of sexuality yet, it is important to know that there is no room for hate, no room for exception, no room for discrimination because of any  difference, no matter what that difference might be.

Ideally, that should be enough, but I know some people that I’ve known since my own childhood are not yet convinced. So, here are a few reasons why Pride is justified:

  • LGBT people are human. Just like anyone else, one’s sexuality does not take away their human card. Being human endows one with unalienable rights, not the least among those being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. You know where that phrase originates. If we are not supporting human rights for everyone we are not supporting human rights at all. I will go even further in saying that any candidate, for any office that does not fully support human rights for everyone, without exception, cannot legitimately be a true representative of the people.
  • Ignorance kills. Too many people who have grown up accepting who they are have been bullied, beaten, and even killed because of the ignorance of others. That such behavior continues is beyond shameful. The only way to stop these acts of hate and violence is to address the ignorance behind them. LGBT people are your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and all any of them want is love.
  • For those who didn’t make it. When I was in high school, being out as being gay wasn’t cool. Everyone who now can stand proudly with their same gender spouse was firmly in the closet back then. While most made it out and are living beautiful lives, not everyone did. AIDS claimed the lives of a number of people who had been forced to stay in that closet during the 70s and early 80s. Even if help had been available, finding it in rural Oklahoma would have been impossible. As we think of those lost lives we must be committed to making sure that environment of fear never exists again.
  • For those who did make it. I had to smile this week as I scrolled through my Facebook feed and saw a picture of one of my favorite high school friends standing with his husband next to the Democratic nominee for president. Again, we all grew up in an extremely closeted environment unwelcoming of anyone who was different. The number of friends from high school and college who are now out and either married or in happy long-term relationships is joyous. Even more are those who are out and choose for their own reasons to remain single. They are all incredible people who have struggled with acceptance and both social and legal limitations. They all deserve to be celebrated.
  • Because love wins. If there is an ultimate lesson for the little ones to learn, it is this: love wins. Love, in all its glorious and fabulous forms, is not confining. Love does not tell you that you must behave one way or another. Love does not limit who you are or who you can become. Love accepts everyone. Love takes you to the top. Love conquers even the most vile and orange hate.

Everyone loves a parade and this one today will be louder, prouder, and more fabulous than any other to hit the streets of Indianapolis. We’re excited to attend and will be equally excited to post pictures in two or three days. But lest anyone think this a mere frivolity, be quite certain, this Pride is justified. Do not deny. We’ve told you why. No time to cry. We’re gonna fly.

Bye.

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Current Issues  /  Nature  /  PotD
Feeling The Heat
June 10, 2016

I don’t always wear underwear. When I’m in the heat, especially, I can’t wear it. Like, if I’m wearing a flower dress, why do I have to wear underwear? —Naomi Campbell

 

charles i. letbetter - feeling the heat

The heat is on. The argument for wearing clothes is strained. Caution is advised

My alarm went off, as always, at 4:00 AM this morning. I groaned quietly, kissed the back of Kat’s neck and got out of bed, dressing in the dark so as to not bother anyone.

The dog was waiting, as always. He hears the alarm, too, and is anxious for me to put on my shoes and snap the leash to his harness. He’s been here a month, but our morning walks are already a matter of ritual. He shakes himself and we’re ready to go.

I check the weather forecast, as always. 70 degrees. 30% chance of isolated thunderstorms after 7 this morning. Shit. I have 120 pounds of concrete mix sitting in the yard. I’ll have to move that when we get back.

We start our walk with Belvedere’s nose to the ground, as always. The neighbor’s security light pops on as we pass but the dog doesn’t flinch. He’s more interested in the scent of a feral cat that roams the area each night. The cat can’t be too big; we see its muddy paw prints on the car each morning. In the distant, lightening flashes. We probably won’t actually get any rain at our house.  Most weather goes around us.

This is summer, and, as always, we’re beginning to feel the heat. 92 is the forecasted high today, and as someone who grew up in Oklahoma, my instinctive reaction is to think, “Aw, that ain’t nothing but good swimming weather.” But 92 when I was a kid wasn’t the same as 92 is now. The only air pollution we had to worry about then was the fragrance that came from the feedlot when the wind was out of the South. Heat and humidity were a thing, but rarely did they actually kill anyone.

Things are different now. Heat is the enemy. Now, the National Weather Service issues air quality warnings. I saw the orange band across the top of the forecast early and knew what it had to be. Here’s this morning’s statement (the caps are normal for NWS statements; they’re not actually shouting at you):

INZ047-110000-
MARION-
INCLUDING THE CITY OF...INDIANAPOLIS
256 PM EDT THU JUN 9 2016

...A KNOZONE ACTION DAY HAS BEEN DECLARED...

THE OFFICIALS AT THE OFFICE OF SUSTAINABILITY FOR THE CITY OF
INDIANAPOLIS HAVE CALLED FOR A KNOZONE ACTION DAY ON FRIDAY...JUNE
10...FOR THE FOLLOWING INDIANA COUNTIES...

MARION.

A KNOZONE ACTION DAY MEANS THAT A COMBINATION OF THE HIGH
TEMPERATURES...LIGHT WINDS AND OTHER FACTORS ARE EXPECTED TO
PRODUCE CONDITIONS WHERE HIGH LEVELS OF OZONE EMISSIONS MAY
EXCEED FEDERALLY MANDATED STANDARDS.

HERE ARE SOME RECOMMENDED ACTIONS THAT THE PUBLIC CAN TAKE TO REDUCE
OZONE FORMING EMISSIONS.

RIDE THE BUS INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR CAR.
CAR-POOL WITH A FRIEND OR CO-WORKER.
REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT IN DRIVE THRU LANES.
POSTPONE FILLING OR TOPPING OFF YOUR GAS TANK UNTIL AFTER DARK.
PUT OFF MOWING YOUR LAWN UNTIL AFTER 600 PM.

All this because of a little heat. What wasn’t a big deal 40 or 50 years ago is monumental now. When we were kids, we could go out and play all day, every day, and the only time our parents worried about the weather affecting us adversely was when there were tornadoes in the area. Today, however, we’ll be taking specific action to protect the kids from harm: we’re leaving the county and heading for a quiet state park. They’ll be able to play outside without having to worry about breathing bad air.

Tomorrow is a different story, though. The anticipated high temperature for tomorrow is 96°F which means NWS will almost certainly release another air quality warning, but tomorrow is the annual Pride parade. We can’t miss that, for a number of reasons. That means we’ll have to make some adjustments to make sure the experience is safe and enjoyable for the kids. Come to think of it, you would probably do well to follow some of the same suggestions for yourself.

When feeling the heat, here are some do’s and don’ts for staying alive:

  • DO drink plenty of water. We’ll be carrying 8 oz bottles of the stuff to keep everyone hydrated. Hydration is always an issue in the heat, but under these conditions it is critical.
  • DON’T drink only soda, coffee or alcohol, all of which dehydrate the body. Sure, they’re tasty, but they’ll leave you panting along the side of the road.
  • DO wear clothing that is light textured if you’re in a place where clothing is required. This is a great time to show off your swimsuit.
  • DON’T forget the sunscreen. Please. Always. Skin cancer is no joke and incidents have risen dramatically in the past 20 years. The shine makes your body look good, anyway.
  • DO eat a lot of fresh fruit. Strawberries, peaches, apples, and bananas are what we’re having for breakfast.
  • DON’T eat a lot of processed sugars. That stuff is bad for you any day, but in the heat, they zap your strength and can make you violently ill. Stay away.
  • DO plan activities at either end of the day. Before 10 AM and after 6 PM are best.
  • DON’T expose you or anyone else (including pets) to extreme heat conditions any longer than absolutely necessary.
  • DO take your pets out for short, limited walks.
  • DON’T leave your pets tethered outside, even if they have shelter and water. The heat affects them even more than it does us.

I’m not one to jump on an alarmist bandwagon, but this heat is serious business. Already, the Best Protected Great Barrier Reef Corals Are Now Dead, and there’s a ’99 Percent Chance’ 2016 Will Be Hottest Year on record. The easy-going summers of the past, where we could just sit in the shade and drink lemonade without a care in the world are, unfortunately, non-existent for anyone who lives in a city of any size. I’m not sure those out in the country are as safe as they once were.

Summer is here. We’re going to feel some heat and, like it or not, we can’t just run around naked all over the place. Take some precautions. Use some common sense. There’s still plenty of fun to be had, we just have to be careful about when and how we do it.

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Art  /  Current Issues  /  Experimental  /  Original Style  /  PotD
Naked Thoughts While Walking The Dog
June 5, 2016
charles i. letbetter - naked thoughts while walking the dog

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights! —Warren G. Harding

 

charles i. letbetter - naked thoughts while walking the dog

Walking the dog of the morning gives some time for quiet contemplation before life is cluttered by the day

Random. Thoughts I have while walking the dog each morning are just that: random. Naked. I don’t look at any news or check any headlines before we head out the door. I do put on pants, just in case I’m not the only lunatic up at 4:00 in the morning (and I’m not), but other than that I’m unencumbered; just the dog and I out for a stroll. He’s interested in finding a fire hydrant where he can pee (he has a favorite). I’m interested in sorting through my dreams and the thoughts that linger from the previous day.

Sunday morning is a great time for that manner of contemplation. None of the thoughts are necessarily huge or impressive in any way. Just thoughts that are worth thinking for a moment, and then we let them slip back into the quiet places of our brain until we might actually need them in conversation. These are the moments where we work out for ourselves exactly how we feel about a topic, the hows and the whys and the justifications. Walking the dog is good for the brain that way.

Having a dog to walk is important, though. When people see someone, especially a man dressed in dark clothes, out walking by himself in the middle of the night they tend to make negative assumptions. One evening, a couple of weeks after I graduated from college, I was walking through my neighborhood at dusk and a man comes rushing out of his house wanting to know what I was stalking him and his wife. I wasn’t, of course. But to claim otherwise was apparently calling his wife a liar. I could have used a dog right then. No one questions what you’re doing when you are walking a dog.

One of the things that popped into my mind this morning was a couple of pictures posted by a friend who now lives in California. She grew up here in Indy, was quite a free spirit, and posed for me on a few occasions. The pictures were of her and her mate, a British chap, out frolicking about in the California forests completely naked. The pictures posted, of course, managed to meet social media requirements, covering up nipples and such. I’m sure there are more revealing photos, though. On one hand, I’m proud of the two of them for taking those pictures. They didn’t hide their faces or  do anything to deny that it was them in the photos. They owned their nudity and were happy in a way I wish everyone could be happy. At the same time, I was a little jealous that I wasn’t the one taking those pictures. I couldn’t be. I’m not in California. There aren’t enough people in Indiana who feel that free. They’ve all moved out West, or so it seems.

We went to a wedding last night. We took the kids along. The couple was beautiful. The mix of religious cultures was beautiful. The ceremony appropriately reflected who they are. Just before the ceremony was about to start, though, it rained. Stormed, actually, and quite seriously at that. The ceremony was held under a tent and most guests had already taken their seats. The tents didn’t have sides. My seat was along the edge. I spent the evening with my right pants leg completely soaked by the rain. I find the experience amusing. The rest of me was quite dry and the dampness did not impede my ability to enjoy the ceremony. The storm helped keep the kids in check, too. There was just this awkward sloshing sound as I was walking across the lawn. It’s a uniqueness that will help me remember the event.

I miss the days when people would just randomly stop by for a few pictures. Maybe they had a new outfit. Maybe they were just bored. Maybe they were feeling adventurous and enjoyed getting naked in front of the camera. All of those were true at various times with different people. No one does that now, though.  Speedway isn’t as popular as Broad Ripple. No one comes over here then stops and grabs a burger or pizza on their way home. No one can park at our house then walk down the street to meet friends and go out for the night. I’m not convenient anymore. But then, none of those friends who once dropped by do the Broad Ripple scene anymore. They’ve grown up. Some have kids. Several moved away.  We get older and we stay home. We don’t drop by and visit anyone. We do Netflix and nap.

The lawn needs mowing again, but I won’t do it today. I’m not inclined to spend an hour walking back and forth across the yard. Maybe we’ll  get started on the fence, though; get some holes dug.

The dog’s choices of places to pee is rather random. Sure, there’s the fire hydrant, but as his nose is sniffing along the ground there is apparently some randomly occurring fragrance that triggers his bladder, forcing him to stop and pee right now. Why does he choose to pee where he does? I suppose I could ask that same question about humans, though. I’ve actively avoided wading into that whole bathroom argument because I consider the very concept to be among the most ludicrous notions ever concocted. Talk about finding a solution for which there was no problem, North Carolina’s HB2 did just that. There wasn’t a problem. Now, everyone’s talking about where to go pee and that’s just about the most stupid waste of time I’ve ever seen. If you’re caught up in stopping people from peeing in certain places, you’re dumber than my hound dog.

However, I did discover this video last night. The music is incredible. My only problem is that I’ve never seen Harvey Fierstein without facial hair. I wasn’t prepared for that specific form of nakedness. His bare chin threw me for a loop. Mr. Fierstein wrote on his Facebook page:

So, you don’t like transgender people? Have the balls to honestly say it. Today’s bathroom controversy is fueled by the same bigots that sought to ban gay and lesbian teachers forty years ago. All these years later they’re still hiding behind the claim that they’re only protecting their children.

These discussions are great opportunities to educate and strengthen the bonds that make us all one human family. But when I see discussions on social media proposing a Men’s Room for adult males, a Ladies’ Room for adult females, a Little Girls’s Room for little girls, a little Boy’s Room for little boys and then another pair of bathrooms for Little Boys with a parent and Little Girls with a parent… Well, it’s time to take a step back and laugh at our own absurdity.

Hmmmm, is that Wayne Brady in drag as Lola? I’m never quite sure.

Enough walking for this morning. My legs hurt and the dog’s ready to eat. Enjoy your Sunday.

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Just For Fun  /  Photography
Outside the Indianapolis 500
May 29, 2016
Outside the Indianapolis 500

The Indianapolis 500 is a party that starts long before anyone gets to the actual race.

 

charles i. letbetter - outside the Indianapolis 500

Veteran race-goers know: reserve your parking space in advance, come early, and bring plenty of food.

Today is the 100th running of the greatest spectacle in motorsports: the Indianapolis 500 and we’re right smack in the middle of it. Actually, we’re not in the middle of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, we’re just outside. If you’re familiar with IMS, you know there’s a 40-acre parking lot on the North side of the track: the North 40. Half-way up that lot, on the East side, is a gate. We are across the street from that gate.

Parking cars on the lawns in our neighborhood is a long-standing tradition. People who have been attending the Indianapolis 500 for years have strong relationships with homeowners around here and like to park in the same places each year. They have our phone numbers and call sometimes several weeks in advance to make sure that they can secure their favorite spot on our lawn. This year, demand has been especially high. It is just after 9:00 AM as I’m typing this and already every available space on our lawn is either full or reserved. The same holds true for most our neighbors.

Of course, when people get here this far ahead of the race, which isn’t scheduled to start this year until 12:19 PM, one looks for ways to pass the time. Many tailgate. Some reserve extra space so they can sit and chat with friends and family. Some play games. There is always plenty of activity outside the gates right up until roughly 30 minutes before the Indianapolis 500 gets underway.

All that activity makes for great people watching any year, but this year it is especially entertaining. So, we’re taking a few pictures during the day and posting them a few at a time. Understand, we don’t actually know any of these people. If you see someone you recognize and they were supposed to be somewhere else today, that’s not our fault.

The Indianapolis 500 is a unique race simply because of its size and spectacle. We can’t go in but we can show you all the fun happening outside.

Before The Race:

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AFTER THE RACE

Once the race is over, the rush is on to get to the car and get out as quickly as possible. Of course, “quickly” is a subjective term. Some do best to take their time and let the alcohol burn off a bit. Some have difficulty finding their party while others are pretty sure they are the party. Any way you look at it, though, the effects of being out in the sun are evident on everyone who passed. As you’re looking through the photos, be sure to check the faces in the background as well. Sometimes those we didn’t focus on were more entertaining. We avoided the worst, though. There were a few who, while they would have been easy prey for the camera, were so drunk and/or dehydrated that taking their picture would have been a bit cruel. I’m sure they’re suffering enough this morning without waking up and finding their drunken selves on the Internet. We also tossed in a few pictures of some of the mess people leave behind. The Coke lot always gets trashed the worse, but I didn’t want to walk all the way down there.

Again, if you see someone you know, tag them and let them know you found them being silly, or angry, or shoving a whole water bottle in their mouth (not kidding, it’s in there). It was an exciting race with a lot of interesting people.

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Current Issues  /  PotD
One Giant Party
May 26, 2016

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. —Ron White

 

charles i. letbetter - one giant party

The 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 is cause to party, but there are some rules

This is no ordinary race week. This is no ordinary race. The 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 brings more people to Indianapolis than any other event, ever, and in many places across town, the party has already started! Whether you’re at the Coke Lot or one of the events at Pan Am Plaza downtown, or right here in our backyard at the North 40, everyone has one primary goal: To have a good time.

Unfortunately, there are always some people who go a bit too far. I woke this morning to a headline reading, “Man Shot Several Times At Speedway Strip Club.” That’s not the kind of partying anyone needs. Last year, some brilliant jackass thought it would be cool to burn down a whole line of portable toilets in the Coke Lot. That’s exactly the kind of nonsense that ruins the event for everyone. If you’re going to party, ya’ gotta follow the rules.

The party starts well before the race, of course. We’re expecting a larger-than-ever turnout for Carb Day tomorrow. The big draw is the Journey concert at 3:30 PM and I’m expecting to be able to take the dog out, sit in the yard, and hear the whole thing just fine. Fellow-Okie Blake Shelton is here Saturday afternoon, and we’ll probably have a decent turnout for that as well. Then, for better or worse, there’s Saturday night at the Coke Lot. One the party starts, it doesn’t stop until well after Sunday’s race is over.

Before you head our direction, though, there are some things you should know, even if you’ve been here every year for your entire life. The  Indianapolis Motor Speedway (IMS) has updated their policies as to what will and will not be allowed through the gate.  IMS also announced yesterday that there will be more security at this race than ever before.  Those of us who live in the neighborhood are very happy to know that federal agencies are lending a hand in keeping everyone safe. With some 300,000-plus people on hand, the race is a prime target for those desperate for attention.

Some of the things you can expect to be different this year are:

  • An increase in security checkpoints, especially the day of the race.
  • An increase in the use of special K-9 units. You’re not sneaking anything past these dogs. We suggest you not try.
  • More  vehicle searches as you’re entering the grounds. Anything suspicious will be considered reasonable cause.
  • ESG Security is searching bags and coolers, not IMS Yellow Shirts. Yellow Shirts are being utilized  to help people get where they’re going more efficiently.
  • IMPD is scanning vehicle license plates as they enter the grounds. They say they’re looking for stolen vehicles, but we suspect there’s more to it than that.

If you’re just coming in for one of the concerts, there are some special rules you should probably know as well:

  • No selfie sticks
  • No drones
  • No stickers (not kidding!)
  • No professional cameras (another reason for me to stay home)
  • No lasers

This size of the crowd this year likely means that the party is going to be larger than ever in the neighborhoods surrounding IMS as well. As Kat was coming home yesterday she noticed that prices for lawn parking are higher this year for those North of 30th street. I’m sure she’ll be talking with our neighbors about raising our pricing as well. I know we’re limiting the amount of lawn we give to parking this year.

Thousands of party people park in our neighborhood for these events and enter through the East gate of the North 40, directly across the street from our house. We don’t mind too terribly much, partly because you’re paying for the privilege. Still, if you’re going to park off-site and walk into IMS, there are some additional things you should know:

  • Traffic is going to suck worse than ever. Everything is sold out for Sunday, which means somewhere around 150,000 more people trying to get in than last year. Georgetown, Lafayette, and 30th street are going to be a nightmare starting around 3:00 AM. Plan accordingly.
  • No one in the neighborhood really likes being awakened at 3 AM, even if you’re giving us money. Please, keep the noise down at least until the sun is up.
  • SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Every year, we see too many redneck sons of bitches who apparently think they can secure a last-minute driving spot by showing how fast they can maneuver residential streets. Don’t be that jackass. Someone’s likely to get hurt.
  • Watch out for children. One of the great things about our neighborhood is that we’ve seen an influx of families with children over the past 12 months. There are little ones running all over the place, which is very different from previous years. Many of them are small enough to not be seen easily and when things get hectic, as race day always does, keeping an eye on everyone is challenging. Keep an eye out, please.
  • Speaking of children, please be careful about what you feed them. The guests we have parking in our yard are always generous about sharing their food with our children who are always hungry. I’m sure others are the same. However, as their parents, we would be most appreciative if you didn’t give them whole bags of Hostess donuts and other such sugar-filled treats. Our children aren’t accustomed to that much processed sugar and it makes them rather crazy. Get them hopped up and we may well send them with you.
  • Don’t ask to use our restroom. You’re welcome to our lawn, not inside our houses. Some of our neighbors have rented portable toilets for the event for your use, including some right outside the East gate. Bring ones, though. Those potties aren’t free.
  • Watch where you park. Certain sides of the street are off limits (there are signs). The right-of-way between the sidewalk and the street is also off limits. Park there and you WILL be towed. We have a neighborhood busybody (not me this time) who is quick to call police when she sees a parking infraction. You don’t want to have to walk home.
  • Exit quickly. We’re pretty much trapped here all weekend. We know that and have prepared accordingly. However, by Sunday evening, we have cabin fever and need to get out, if for no other reason than to buy more toilet paper. We can’t do that until everyone’s gone. Please, don’t lag or dilly-daddle. IMPD does their best to get everyone on their way and out of the neighborhood within two hours after the race. Don’t be that straggler whose vehicle is still on our lawn at 9PM Sunday night.

I know that’s a lot to take in, but if we’re all going to party together there have to be some ground rules. We don’t want anyone getting hurt or running afoul of the law. Have a good time, enjoy the concerts and the race, and if you’re going through the East gate of the North 40, drop by and say hi!

Party on, Garth!

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pop culture  /  PotD
Not A Food Fanatic In A City That Is
May 24, 2016
charles i. letbetter - not a food fanatic in a city that is

You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food. —Paul Prudhomme

 

charles i. letbetter - not a food fanatic in a city that is

Condé Nast Traveler says Indianapolis is “the most underrated food city in the US.” That’s nice, unless you’re not really a food fanatic.

[Update: This article went largely unnoticed until late evening, May 24. Apparently, someone posted a link on Facebook. Suddenly, our hit count exploded and currently, May 25, we’re having our highest visitor/hit count ever! Hooray! Apparently, Erin and her dear friends are offended. They (mistakenly) think we’re against good and diverse dining. One person was so incensed, she wants to punch me in the throat. Wow, who knew foodies could be so violent . While we do not apologize for the content, our intent was not to insult or in any way disparage any of the fine establishments mentioned. Condé Nast Traveler didn’t single them out with no reason. One restaurant owner even reached out and invited us to drop by his establishment, an invitation we will do our best to accept. Still, no matter how wonderful all these restaurants are, we are never going to eat out that often and when we do we’re more likely to choose something closer to home, a bit more child appropriate, and less likely to upset my overly-sensitive stomach. If you want to try them, please do. I’m sure you’ll have a pleasant experience. Be sure to leave them a nice review on Yelp! Thank you for visiting!]

One could almost hear the squeals of glee when Condé Nast Traveler updated its 2015 list of Best Places To Visit This Summer and decided to include Indianapolis in the #28 spot, right between Maui, Hawaii, and Camden, Maine. Indy is full of people who love eating out so much that their own kitchens feel neglected as they’re hardly even used for making coffee anymore. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me too much to see at least one of the new sets of condos going up downtown to eliminate stoves and ovens entirely, leaving only a refrigerator for storing doggie bags and a microwave for heating them up. That’s just how fanatical Indy’s food people are.

Food fanatics have cropped up everywhere in the past ten years. When I first moved here, the top-rated restaurant in town was St. Elmo’s. Everyone told me I need to eat there. Then, I saw their menu. No, thank you. I can cook my own steak for considerably less, get it exactly the way I like it, and not have to take out a small loan in the process. I do have a bottle of their cocktail sauce in the ‘fridge. We bought it at Costco. If premiere dining means overspending on everything, then I’ll have no part of it, thank you.

Over the ensuing years, though, a number of chefs have inexplicably chosen Indianapolis as the place to try out their new and innovative menus and, much to my surprise, people in Indy have actually responded favorably. Condé Nast specifically mentions Milktooth, Black Market, Rook, and Marrow but there are at least a dozen other places around town that are every bit as good and just as difficult to get a seat between 6-8 PM. Every one of them stays busy and on the rare occasion one goes out of business it is usually something other than the food that was at fault.

But guess what: I’ve not been to any of them. Not a one. Never mind the fact that the Black Market literally share’s a driveway with Kat’s dad and we’re down there all the time smelling the delicious aromas pouring out their back door. I’m not one to eat out that often and when I do it’s almost certainly to be an old favorite or, at least, someplace where I know that I’m likely to find something I like even if I find the majority of choices detestable.

Not that I never try new places, mind you. Just last week I stepped into Punch for lunch and had a wonderful time. The food was fantastic, the price was reasonable, the service friendly, and the portion on the waffle fries was huge. Punch was a pretty safe bet, though. It is the top-rated downtown burger joint on Yelp, and, obviously, it’s a burger joint. You can do a lot with burgers, but it’s pretty hard to fuck one up to the point it’s inedible. Stopping by Punch was about as adventurous from a food perspective as taking an alternate path home: you know where you’re going, you just go a different direction getting there.

Could I have just as easily eaten at one of those fancy places everyone talks about? Probably. But I am not a food fanatic. I have issues with trying some place new. Serious issues. As much as I enjoy eating, a food fanatic is not something I could ever be. Here’s why:

  • Nothing’s close. Almost all the hottest places to eat are downtown, Broad Ripple, or Fountain Square, none of which are anywhere close to our home. If I want to grab a nice lunch while everyone else is at school, I have to get on a bus, whose schedule and route isn’t always convenient to where I want to eat. If we’re talking about dinner, we’re talking about where to park as free parking isn’t exactly booming in this or any other city. Most days, that’s just too much trouble. I’ll stay home.
  • Children. All the cool places on the food lovers’ lists are less than appropriate for the two energetic and sometimes picky six- and seven-year-olds we have. The problem is not that children are forbidden in any of these places, but the menus simply aren’t appropriate. We have difficulty getting them to eat anything other than mac and cheese. Do you really think we’re going to convince them that “smoked tofu, miso eggplant, bok choy, coco rice, hoisin, slow poached egg (Marrow)” is a good thing to try? As much as it costs to eat out, the last thing you want is the kids sitting there picking at expensive food they won’t eat.
  • Menus that make no sense. One of the things I really dislike is not having some general sense of what I’m eating. If I have to sit at the table and Google items on the menu to see what they are, we have a problem. Consider this description of an “Okonomiyaki Burger” at Rook: duck egg / leeks / caramelized onions / Tulip Tree Foxglove / shoestring potato / foie mayo. I’m still trying to figure out where the hell the burger is in all that. Is it beef? Mixed meat? Vegan? And I’m Googling “Tulip Tree Foxglove” and “foie mayo.” At $17, I kinda want to know what to expect before I put my order in.
  • Indigestion. I’m old. Stomach problems run in our family. A number of popular restaurants make their name on dishes that are spicy. As much as I may want to try those delightful looking dishes, I don’t dare. I won’t sleep for three days if I do. My stomach simply cannot handle anything too terribly spicy. This condition only gets worse over time, and no, popping an antacid doesn’t help. Who wants to spend money on moderately bland food?
  • Cost. I’ll admit that a lot of the trendy restaurants are not nearly as expensive as the more traditional steak houses such as St. Elmo’s or Ruth Chris’. Depending on one’s menu and drink choices, one can reasonably eat for less than $20 a person, plus tip. Not bad, really. Unfortunately, the realistic penny-pinching side of me looks at the $50 I might drop on dinner for Kat and me and know that I could buy a week’s worth of groceries for the same amount, and have leftovers (yeah, I’m that good), and manage to get the kids to eat everything on their plates at least five of the seven nights. It’s difficult to enjoy good food when you’re racked with guilt.

I’ve not lived in rural Oklahoma for a very long time, but at the end of the day, I’m still a country boy whose best friend in the kitchen is my cast iron skillet.  I don’t need exotic ingredients when I can just pick fresh veggies from the garden. I don’t need a cheese whose name is longer than mine and I damn sure don’t need my asparagus shaved. While I enjoy trying new foods, especially those related to a specific culture, I still want food that doesn’t require a degree in food science to appreciate.

Unless someone else is picking up me and the bill, I’m not likely to ever dine at any of those super cool places Condé Nast Traveler thinks I shouldn’t miss. That’s rather sad. I want to be part of the cool crowd; I just don’t want to take leave of my senses to do so. Not being a food fanatic in a city that is crazy about food rather sucks at times, but hey, I know a great place where the chicken is pan fried, the gravy is from scratch, and the greens have just the right amount of kick; it’s called my kitchen. Just give me a yell before you stop by.

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Current Issues  /  Social Commentary  /  video
Fitness And Sex
May 19, 2016
charles i. letbetter - fitness and sex

Our growing softness, our increasing lack of physical fitness, is a menace to our security. —John F. Kennedy

 

charles i. letbetter - fitness and sex

You know you need to exercise, fitness just hasn’t been any fun, until now

Look at the quote above and who made it and we realize that, for the most part, the current American citizenry has never been in the best of shape, and despite numerous fitness crazes we’ve only gotten fatter. This is especially true if one lives in the Midwest, and if one lives in Indianapolis specifically, we’re more out of shape than anyone.

No, I’m not kidding. The American Fitness Index report was released this week and of the 50 US cities surveyed, Indianapolis comes in dead last. This is really bad. Look at this list of areas where we are failing:

Improvement Priority Areas (worse than 20% of target goal): • Lower percent meeting CDC aerobic activity guidelines • Lower percent meeting both CDC aerobic and strength activity guidelines • Lower percent consuming 2+ fruits per day • Lower percent consuming 3+ vegetables per day • Higher percent currently smoking • Higher percent obese • Lower percent in excellent or very good health • Higher percent of days when physical health was not good during the past 30 days • Higher percent of days when mental health was not good during the past 30 days • Higher percent with asthma • Higher percent with angina or coronary heart disease • Higher percent with diabetes • Lower percent of city land area as parkland • Fewer acres of parkland per capita • Lower percent using public transportation to work • Lower percent bicycling or walking to work • Lower Walk Score® • Lower percent of population within a 10 minute walk to a park • Fewer ball diamonds per capita • Fewer dog parks per capita • Fewer park playgrounds per capita • Fewer park units per capita • Fewer recreation centers per capita • Fewer tennis courts per capita • Lower park-related expenditures per capita

Just the size of that list should be enough for us to realize that we have a lot of work to do if we’re going to improve our situation. There is one measure not on the list, though, and it may be the one that gives us a chance to redeem our fat selves: sex. You’re reading that correctly, we might very well be able to sex ourselves into good health. Or, if not good health, at least something less likely to end up in the cardiac ward of your neighborhood hospital.

How is this possible, you ask? The folks behind your favorite porn site, PornHub, have created a new program with you in mind: Bangfit. No, I’m still not kidding. We’re totally wearing our serious face here. This is a legitimate fitness program, or, at least, an attempt at one. Here, watch this surprisingly safe-for-work video that explains the whole thing:

https://youtu.be/DUFjNiusLEw

Okay, so that’s at least the way the thing is supposed to work. I wouldn’t be posting this if I hadn’t checked the thing out for myself and, uhm, … it’s not working. This may be due to the fact that dozens of online magazines and sources reported about the site yesterday and their servers are now totally overloaded; that’s what I’m guessing. When I first tried accessing the web page, it timed out. When I tried about five minutes later, I got the site, but none of the links worked. When I pull up the site on my phone, it asks for a specific code to sync my phone, which is supposed to track my “activity,” with the computer, which is supposed to provide “instruction.” That doesn’t always happen, though. When the sight finally DID work, the lag between clicking a link and seeing any result was rather slow.

In theory, the premise should be correct. Sexual activity should provide serious fitness advantages, especially when done on a regular basis. I’m seeing some problems with the reality of the concept, though.

  1. For there to be any fitness advantage, the sex is going to have to last more than five minutes. C’mon guys, you know damn good and well how rarely that happens. You’re going to have to work on your stamina.
  2. No one is that regular with their sex lives, at least, not if you’re using a partner. The program has the single-person option, of course, which is also likely to be the most popular. But the real fitness comes from the couples play and very few couples manage to make daily sex a reality.
  3. The product is still in beta, so there are still some glitches and not all features are present. For example, only three settings are currently offered: single, couple, and threesome (in your dreams).
  4. The scoring system relies on your phone being attached to your hip in some way and measures your movement accordingly. So, depending on the position, one person might get more of a workout than the other. I also found I was able to adjust my fitness score simply by shaking my phone.
  5. Really cheezy porn from Brazzers plays on your computer while you’re “exercising.” Maybe you like cheezy porn. I’m sure someone does … somewhere.

I do encourage you to give it a try for yourself. Who knows, maybe we can start having group “fitness” parties! Of course, there are the necessary caveats. Check with your doctor to see if your heart is healthy enough for sex (mine always looks at me funny when I ask that question). Be sure to stretch, hydrate, and all that other pre-workout stuff fitness people do. Don’t forget to use appropriate safeguards such as condoms and birth control unless you really, really want an excuse for never working out again.

Sex fitness really isn’t a bad idea, and may be just the thing to help Indianapolis get off its unhealthy and flabby ass. I see a lot of people clicking on the single user option, though. Out of shape people aren’t going to find workout partners for this program too easily. So, good luck with that. Let me know how that works out for you.

 

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Current Issues  /  PotD
Taking Over The World
May 3, 2016

The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do. —Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

charles i. letbetter - taking over the world

Taking over the world may be as simple as taking one single action: voting

One of my favorite cartoons ever originated the same year my oldest son was born. Warner Brothers’ Animaniacs holds a place of nostalgic importance within our family for many reasons, but one of those is the concept that anyone with the right determination, effort, and a little luck, might take over the world. Where did we get that idea? Pinky and the Brain. In every episode, Pinky asks, “What are we going to do tonight, Brain?” and Brain answers, “The same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world.” They’re mice, and more than once they come quite close to succeeding.

Given the interconnectedness and interdependencies among nations, taking over the world is probably a more realistic goal now than it ever has been. The solution is rather simple and I’m not the only who has noticed, I’m sure. Affect the stock market in one major country and watch all the others respond in kind. This makes gaining economic control easy. World food supplies are largely controlled by a handful of companies. Control the food supply and you control people. The entire world, including governments and the global power grid, are connected by computers.  One well-written virus and you control who has electricity and who doesn’t.

Perhaps most frightening is the realization that one intelligent individual could probably achieve that level of control without the aid or knowledge of their own government. Fortunately, controlling a stock market and the global food supply requires a substantial form of capital and not many people have access to that wealth. Still, it is a very real danger. Who has access to that kind of wealth and power?

The President of the United States.

Whether we like it or not, we cannot deny that the US is a global power and that the decisions made here affect events and people around the world. For example, the United States is the sole source for a number of life-saving drugs. Should we decide to shut down production of those drugs, especially those for fighting diseases like Ebola and Malaria, the results could be devastating on a global scale.  Were our government to enact a policy that makes it impossible for international companies to make a profit in the US, the global economy, including our own, would crash overnight. Where we decide to put troops affects the safety and well-being of millions of people. Pull the Marines from Okinawa and that region of the world would almost certainly collapse as North Korea’s insane leadership would see that as an opportunity to assert domination.

The President could affect all of those situations and more.

When we’re considering for whom we are going to vote, or whether we’re going to vote, our tendency is to look at domestic issues, specifically, “What’s best for me?”  As such, our vision tends to be incredibly short-sighted. We too often want a President who will encourage and enact policies we think will make our lives better, even if it is to the detriment of someone else. We are as selfish in our voting as we are in our use of money.

What might have a greater effect on our longevity and quality of life, however, is how we relate to the world. Even our domestic policies such as health care and minimum wage affect things such as immigration and foreign investment. We like to think we’re all big and mighty and powerful on our own, but the fact is we hold a lot of debt and in many ways are just as dependent on other countries as they are dependent on us.

One of the first stories to slap me in the face this morning is evidence that Syria’s President al-Assad is coordinating efforts with Daesh.  This is bad news for the entire world as Syria appears to be directly funding terrorism. Both the economic and military strength of the United States are principal aspects in stopping this atrocity.

Oh, and there’s more evidence that China’s economy lacks a solid foundation. China influences the US economy in three ways: investment, debt, and trade. Should their economy crash, they could easily take down ours and the European Union at the same time. US foreign policy is critical in helping keep the Chinese economy stable.

Then, there’s the increasingly worrisome matter of North Korea. Not only have they now limited movement in and out of Pyongyang, but they’ve banned weddings, funerals, and any other form of assembly ahead of their party congress next week. This increases speculation that the country may attempt a nuclear demonstration during the event. Even North Korea’s one reluctant ally, China, is depending upon US intelligence information in helping to form an international response should the rogue nation decide to do something stupid.

The United States is tied to events all over the world, which makes the US president a key component in how those events are resolved. While we don’t need a president who is going to be overly aggressive and intimidating toward foreign leaders, we also don’t need someone who fucks it all up with a religious-based ideology or a hesitant approach to taking action. We are dogged by the hindsight that had we taken a more forward and active role in foreign matters prior to WWII, we might have prevented at least some of the atrocities committed in both theaters of that war. We don’t have to like being a world power, but the world depends on us stepping up and taking that responsibility.

Okay, so maybe it’s a stretch to say that the US rules the world entirely. We have our vulnerabilities. Still, whoever we elect as President wields incredible power over the lives not only of Americans but the seven billion plus citizens of this planet. We should take extra care in deciding how we’re going to cast our ballots. After all, Pinky, we know taking over the world is possible. We need to be careful about which lab mouse we select to do so.

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Get With The Game
April 29, 2016
charles i. letbetter - get with the game

Truth is the cry of all, but the game of few. —George Berkeley

 

charles i. letbetter - get with the game

The world has changed. Either get with the game or be prepared to be left behind. We’re not going back

Lika a lot of creative people, I had a tendency to daydream when I was a child. I could get lost in my own thoughts no matter where I was or what I was supposed to be doing, which often meant I wasn’t doing anything at all. Those would be the times, after calling my name multiple times and getting no response, one parent or the other would take hold of my shoulder and give me a firm shake, then say, “Charles, you need to get with the game. You’re holding everyone up.”

Yesterday, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) essentially told the entire United States the same thing: You need to get with the game. The “game” isn’t anything with a ball or rings or mats or fields, though. The game they’re talking about is equal protection for everyone regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation. The message was blunt and firm that cities hosting, or even bidding, for any manner of NCAA event, whether an educational conference or a major game, has to ensure that everyone gets equal treatment. No exceptions. The statement from the NCAA reads, in part:

The board’s decision follows the recent actions of legislatures in several states, which have passed laws allowing residents to refuse to provide services to some people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. While proponents of the laws focus on how they protect religious beliefs, critics have voiced concerns that they create an environment of sanctioned discrimination.

Here’s the thing: the NCAA isn’t exactly known as a bastion of liberal or progressive thought. If anything, they tend to see themselves as protectors of tradition and legacy, taking more conservative positions on the majority of issues. The Board of Governors is made up largely of university presidents who tend to be more concerned with not upsetting major donors, who also tend to be rather conservative in their positions. One can’t blame the influence of liberal media nor liberal academics as the NCAA stands quite separate from either. For the nation’s governing body over collegiate sports to make a statement such as this indicates something very important: society has changed, whether you like it or not.

Oh, but the NCAA wasn’t content to just let it go with sexual orientation and gender identity. They’re taking on some other very important issues. The statement also reads:

The Association now prohibits championships events with predetermined sites in states where governments display the Confederate battle flag, and prohibits NCAA members from hosting championships events if their school nicknames use Native American imagery that is considered abusive and offensive.

In case you’re head is spinning and you’re just not sure what all just happened, let me make it very clear: anti-gay and/or anti-transgender laws and blatantly racist symbols are no longer acceptable. Anywhere. Period. Under any circumstances. Get with the game.

Hold on, we’re not done.

The UK’s Advertising Standards Authority (ASA)announced yesterday that it is launching an investigation into gender stereotyping in advertising. Again, we’re talking about a traditionally conservative body, one that has at times been accused of being too knee-jerk in its reactions, taking a surprisingly progressive move demonstrating a significant shift in what contemporary society considers acceptable. ASA Chief executive, Guy Parker, said as part of the statement:

We’re serious about making sure
we’re alive to changing attitudes
and behaviors. That’s why we’ve
already been taking action to ban
ads that we believe reinforce
gender stereotypes and that are
likely to cause serious and
widespread offense, or harm.

While the ASA’s announcement legally applies only to the UK, advertising is expensive and while some regional changes are often made, global campaigns that run in the UK as well as other countries will still have to meet those same standards. So, word to all the misogynists out there, especially those in advertising: Get with the game. Gender stereotypes are no longer acceptable.

Morals are not something that can be legislated, nor can they be strictly dictated by a mythology. As a society progresses and moves forward, those morals, those social norms, are going to change. Some change willingly. Others foolishly fight change with their last breath. Boycott all you want, protest all you want, elect all the religiously intolerant, inbred, closed-minded legislators you want, society will move forward. Your best move is to get with the game.

To  review, the following are no longer acceptable, anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances:

  • Anti-LGBTQ legislation of any kind
  • City or venue policies that do not protect race, gender, and sexual orientation
  • Confederate flags
  • Offensive Native American imagery
  • Gender stereotypes

I realize, for some of you, that is a lot of change in one fell swoop. Too bad.  Get with the game and start moving forward. You’re holding everyone else up.

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pop culture  /  PotD
Rewards For Surviving
April 25, 2016
charles i. letbetter - rewards for surviving

The rewards of freedom are always sweet, but its demands are stern, for at its heart is the paradox that the greatest enemy of freedom is freedom. —Os Guinness

 

charles i. letbetter - rewards for surviving

As frustrating and maddening as our lives can become, there need to be rewards along the way for simply surviving

We often find ourselves on Monday morning thinking through the events of the weekend and shaking our heads. Sure, there were some good moments, but those were peppered with the bad, the ridiculous, and the downright frustrating. If there are supposed to be rewards for working hard and persevering, they didn’t necessarily seem to choose this weekend to show up. Consider:

I ‘m not sure whether that’s enough to make one want to turn right around and go back to bed or pack up and move somewhere a little less populated. I don’t think Indianapolis is really any worse than any other major city. There are times when the universe decides to dump a whole lot of bad on us at once. When that happens over a weekend we get to Monday morning staggering, feeling as though we’re hung over from a party we don’t remember attending.

During times like this, it can be really difficult to keep focused on long-term goals. When surrounded by the negative it becomes difficult to imagine that anything positive is ever going to happen. Our brains understand that if we keep moving forward, doing the things we know we have to do, that we will eventually succeed. Our emotions don’t necessarily buy that argument, though, and Mondays seem like a very good time to tumble into depression and not come out.

Generally speaking, utilizing a system of rewards and punishments has proven to be less than effective, especially in educational matters. However, I remain convinced that when we feel as though the universe is punishing us for merely daring to exist we deserve rewards simply for managing to survive. I worry every time Kat visits a friend who lives in an apartment complex or drives on I-465. She deserves rewards for surviving both those experiences. The kids were non-stop narcissists over the weekend. We deserve rewards for letting them live.

You, of course, have your own troubles and challenges and you, too, deserve your own rewards. The problem is, it’s Monday. We can’t exactly go skipping work or whatever simply because we need to recover from the weekend. So, here are some ideas for rewards you might give to yourself that won’t dramatically interfere with the rest of your day.

  • Donuts. Indy is blessed with a wide selection of donut shops. Yelp lists over 20. That should, in theory, put one near you. Even if it doesn’t, there’s always the Krispy Kremes at your local Speedway. The sugar will help launch you into whatever comes next.
  • Beer. Okay, so depending upon when you’re reading this it might be a wee bit early to start indulging in alcohol just yet, but by noon it’s fair game and Indy has a plethora of breweries so finding one shouldn’t be a problem. Maybe treat yourself with one at lunch and see if  it doesn’t improve your outlook on the day.
  • Call your mom, or a sibling, or someone else whose voice makes you happy. These are the times I miss being able to call Poppa and just say hi. A calm, familiar voice can turn a day around in a heart beat.
  • Shopping. You may need to be careful here. Don’t burst your budget so that you have nasty credit card bills coming at you in the future. A little retail therapy can make a significant difference in your day, though, even if it’s just picking out something online.
  • Quick sex. There’s probably not enough time for all the romance and foreplay to which you’re accustomed, but a quick nip before work or at noon isn’t a bad use of your time and is the one thing that is likely to put a smile on your face.

There are other rewards you can find, I’m sure. Do something that brings you pleasure and makes you smile. Perhaps a chocolate covered strawberry, or a little extra creme in your coffee this morning. Rewards don’t have to be large or extravagant to be effective. You can reward yourself in thousands of different ways if you think about it a moment. Sometimes, just taking a moment to think can be a reward itself.

Weekends aren’t always pleasant and relaxing. If yours was a bit more challenging than you would have liked, take a moment and reward yourself. After all, you’ve survived once again. Not everyone can say that.

 

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Current Issues  /  PotD  /  science
Water That Is Safe
April 21, 2016
charles i. letbetter - water that is safe

Rivers, ponds, lakes, and streams – they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do – they all contain truths. —Muhammad Ali

 

charles i. letbetter - water that is safe

Water is the very essence of life, but is it ever safe to drink?

I was standing outside with the Tipster this morning waiting on her bus in the rain. As we stood there, huddled under my umbrella, she noticed the water running off the side. Being the silly little six-year-old that she is, she tipped her head back so that the top of her head was exposed to the rain.

“What are you doing?” I asked in a rather incredulous tone. As with many six-year-olds, getting her ready for school this morning was a trying set of circumstances and I really wasn’t in the mood for nonsense.

“I’m drinking the rain off the umbrella,” she giggled.

I pulled her back up under the umbrella with a warning, “You don’t want to do that.”

She’s six. She’s not going to let a statement like that go unchallenged. So, naturally, her response was, “Why?”

What came out of my mouth was, “Because the cats have been all over it,” which is a cop-out because the cats have been all over everything in our house. What I really meant, though, was something more like, “I have no idea what the Ph balance of the rainwater here is and given all the manufacturing on this side of town I’m not sure any of the rainwater is safe without some form of filtering.” That version would have gone right over her little head, though. Cats are much more relatable.

If you’ve driven around Indianapolis lately, you’ve probably seen the billboards and/or heard the radio ads from Citizens Energy, the company that manages and oversees the Indianapolis water supply. The ad campaign has been an attempt to garner public support and understanding for a proposed rate increase to water bills in the areas that Citizens covers. The situation, as presented by Citizens, sounds dier. Some pipes are over 100 years old and much of the original infrastructure is crumbling. Replacing all those pipes is expensive. The plan worked. Yesterday, the Indiana Utility Regulatory Commission (IURC) approved a rate hike that will increase the average residential water bill by $5 a month starting in May.

The rate hike doesn’t actually ensure that the water we receive through our taps is any cleaner when it leaves the treatment facility, but that it’s less likely to be contaminated between there and your home. In short, what the rate hike does is help prevent Indianapolis and the surrounding areas from experiencing a water disaster like what happened with Flint, Michigan. Clean water passing through aging pipes is about as dangerous as, well, drinking water falling off an umbrella. All manners of nasty chemicals leach into the water supply with no means of control.

As Americans, we take the quality and ubiquity of our water supply for granted. Almost everyone alive today has grown up with running water. We are accustomed to turning a knob and having the water flow at quantities and pressures we could take for granted. That’s why Flint’s water crisis was so alarming. We, as a general populace, weren’t even aware that such a disaster could happen.

Scientist and climatologists have been warning us for years, though, that our supply of drinking water is becoming increasingly unsafe. As with most matters of earth science, no one wants to listen. The stories are of gradual decline, of a slow erosion that isn’t necessarily evident every time one looks out the window.  In 1990, the Acid Rain Program was created as part of the Clean Air Act, but corporate and industrial opposition to the limits established by those laws has been severe and through continued lobbying the laws have been diminished to the point they’re hardly recognizable.

Keeping our drinking water clean is neither cheap nor easy. Earlier this month, Citizens was happy to announce that, “… drinking water produced at all of the utility’s treatment plants is safe …” but that announcement didn’t come until after the Environmental Protection Agency proposed adding an area downtown to its list of superfund sites. Being on this list allows federal funds to be used in cleaning up the area. Two of Citizens’ wellfield areas, along Riverside and 16th streets, would be included in that cleanup. Until then, anything from those wellfields has to go through extra treatment before it’s ready to be consumed.

Spring is deceptive in its ability to make everything look so clean and pure. We just assume that what we drink and sprinkle over our gardens is healthy and safe. A major effort is required to keep us as safe as we think we are, though, and your Indiana state legislature isn’t helping any. Bills attempting to eliminate or significantly limit the EPA’s rules, especially those regarding groundwater, are frequently introduced and there is a vocal lobbying effort to prohibit all EPA legislation completely.

As beautiful a state as Indiana could be, you’d think we’d value our natural resources more and want to keep them clean, but apparently that’s not necessarily the case across the board. Some would rather indulge the continued dumping of raw sewage and spew horrible chemicals into the air. What may seem harmless to some, eventually impacts us all. Rain eventually falls and little girls try to drink the rain from their umbrellas.

You would think such an act would be innocent and safe. It should be.

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Sex And Politics
April 20, 2016
charles i. letbetter - sex and politics

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. —Plato

 

charles i. letbetter - sex and politics

Given a choice between sex and politics, the wise person chooses sex

Now that the New York primaries are over and went exactly the way everyone knew they would, the circus that is presidential primary politics moves to Indiana in advance of the primary on May 3. Many times, having a late primary means that your vote really doesn’t count for much. In the past two election cycles, the nomination of both parties has pretty much been decided by the time the Indiana primary rolled around. Not so this year. Both Democrats and Republicans are involved in races that are close enough in delegate counts as to make every last vote in the Indiana primaries worth something (despite what some pundits are saying).  So, all five of the remaining candidates will be hitting the state hard and heavy over the next two weeks to try and convince Hoosiers to vote for them.

What should Hoosiers do? Have sex. Not with the candidates, mind you. None of them are attractive enough for the thought of having sex with them to not be cringe-inducing. I’m pretty sure a couple of them have to blindfold their spouses before getting into bed at night. And we’re fortunate that the list has dwindled to five. One of the advantages of a late primary is that we don’t have to put up with that messy political orgy that started the season. Still, given the choice between politics or sex, we’re all better off choosing the sex.

Let’s face it: we’ve been listening to these yahoos spout their lies and hate-inducing clap-trap for over a year. Media of various forms have inundated us with every stupid word they’ve said, every insult they’ve spouted, every ridiculous idea they’ve proposed, and every opinion on which they’ve flip-flopped. Whichever party one favors really makes very little difference. The candidates who have survived thus far do not offer any real hope for our country.

So, if we’re going to get screwed anyway, we might as well do it in a way that is at least pleasurable. Sex is so much better than politics, makes people so much happier, and even in the worst of circumstances doesn’t endanger as many lives.  Here are a few reasons sex is better than politics:

  1. You, alone, get to decide who fucks you. Politics is like rape in that you’re getting fucked by someone you don’t like in a manner you don’t enjoy and then you’re told it’s your fault. With consensual sex, you choose who’s in bed with you. You don’t have to worry about some lame southern state screwing it up for the rest of the country or taking it up the backside from the electoral college. The sex partner you get is the one you choose.
  2. When the sex is bad, there are ways to fix it.  Not all sex is good, which you understand if you’ve had sex more than once. However, the majority of bad sex comes from poor communication between partners and can be resolved with a little time and patience. Bad politics, though, last a minimum of four years and there’s not a damn thing you can do during the interim to make it any better.
  3. Even bad sex is still good. Even when the sex isn’t as wonderful as you might have preferred, at least you come out saying, “Hey, I got laid!” You don’t have to share the details and no one actually cares if you fudge the orgasm count a few times. Bad politics, however, is never good. Bad politics is like finding out your partner has  an STD even the CDC doesn’t know about yet. You’re doomed. The bumper sticker won’t scrape off and people scream at you for electing the douche that sent the economy into the toilet and got West Virginia nuked.
  4. Sex only affects the lives of you and your partner(s). Even if you’re cheating with someone who is also cheating on someone, the total number of people affected is likely to be less than ten. When politics goes awry, however, the fate of the entire world can be at stake. Millions of innocent lives can be lost. Clean air and drinking water can be ruined forever. Generations who linger long after our demise can suffer because of one bad political decision.
  5. Cleaning up after sex is relatively easy. When the sex is over, you take a shower, wash the sheets, re-adjust the lamp shade, and then go on about your day. Or night. The backside of politics isn’t so easy. Who cleans up after war? Not the politicians. Who has to find a new source of drinking water? Not the politicians who allowed it to be polluted. Who replaces the air we can no longer breathe? Not the politicians who allowed it to become poisoned. Who replaces all the jobs that are lost due to bad foreign policy? Not the politician who implemented the failed policy. Politics is sloppy and leaves you with the mess every time.

As the presidential candidates roam from town to town the next two weeks, they’re going to make a lot of speeches in a lot of different places. Your best move? Don’t go. Leave them all talking to empty chairs. Send a message that Hoosiers are fed up with their lies and their hate and their condescending attitudes toward the Midwest. Instead, stay home and have sex. Or go to a strip club. Or take your significant other to a strip club and then have sex. Or watch porn together. Or try out a new butt plug. There are myriad options that are better than attending a political rally where no one cares about your opinion.

Mind you, I’m not saying you shouldn’t vote. By all means, everyone who is eligible should be at the polls on May 3. Your vote counts more in this election than it has in a long time. Be there.  Do the deed. But don’t think for a second that anything leading up to the actual election matters; it doesn’t. Protesting doesn’t matter. Picketing doesn’t matter. Yelling and screaming doesn’t matter. None of the candidates give a shit what you think; they’ve already made up their pathetic little minds.  The ONLY way to send a message is to stay away from their stupid events, all of them. Void the damn political polls. Then vote.

And have sex.

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pop culture  /  PotD
Weekend Of No Regrets
April 18, 2016

The water cooler conversation in every job I’ve had is sports, it’s what did you do this weekend, it’s ‘How are your parents doing?’ —Kal Penn

 

charles i. letbetter - weekend with no regrets

Don’t let social media guilt you into thinking you had a bad weekend. It was just fine.

Nope, I didn’t attend Coachella this weekend. Chances are pretty high you didn’t, either. Sorry, but if I have a spare $1,500 I’m not likely to spend it on tickets to a music festival at some polo club in Indio, California. I don’t really care who was there. I don’t give a damn what they were wearing or which pseudocelebrity’s nipple ring showed through her top (yeah, I would have thought pseudocelebrity was hyphenated but my editor insists that it’s not). I didn’t attend a major league baseball game, or even an NBA playoff. I didn’t go to the movies. I didn’t even watch Netflix. I didn’t do any of the things my newsfeed is trying to convince me I missed over the weekend.

Do I have any regrets? Not a one. I would hope that you don’t, either. While the celebrities and movie stars flaunt the fact they don’t have anything better to do with their time or their money, but want to make sure you see them anyway, we were hanging out here in Indiana, of all places, quietly having a good weekend, building memories, doing things that actually yield a positive result and build a stronger community.

One of the downsides of social media is seeing what everyone else is doing. Pictures of friends and celebrities in far off exotic places or on vacation, can cause us to feel that our normal, everyday, sometimes less-than-thrilling lives are somehow incomplete because we’re not doing any of the really “cool” stuff. We may be jealous. We may feel depressed. We might think that our lives are incomplete.

You know better. You’ve always known better. You know as well as I do that chasing frivolous things just for the attention ends up being shallow. You don’t need me to pull out the dozens of sociological studies that show we’re at our happiest when we’re spending time with friends and family, or just relaxing and reading a book. You don’t need me to remind you that our lives feel better and more fulfilled when we completely unplug from all forms of media every once in a while. Yet, when all those pictures start popping up in Facebook and on Instagram, we still get those twinges of guilt that perhaps we didn’t do enough, or didn’t do the most cool things.

What did we do this weekend? We had Long’s donuts for breakfast. We tilled the garden and started getting it ready to plant. There was a huge piece of shrubbery that has been bugging us, so Kat’s dad came over and helped rip that monster from the ground. We celebrated a couple of birthdays. Kat gave her sister a scalp massage. The kids made new friends, managed to get absolutely filthy more than once, made their own pizzas, and enjoyed having birthday cake. Bubbles were blown. Laundry was washed, folded, and put away. Kat came to the rescue of a friend with a baby sitting need and I spent some time Skyping with my 18-year-old. Somehow, we managed to find time in there to buy groceries, write four articles, and Kat was at the salon from open to close on Sunday.

Each and every one of the things we did holds more value than getting sunburned while standing in the middle of a field trying to listen to a band that you can’t even see. We were productive, we got some rest, and we spent time with people who are genuinely important to our lives.

We don’t have to travel hundreds of miles and pretend to be something we’re not in order to have a good weekend. Neither do you. We had a good weekend. No regrets. I’m willing to bet yours was just as wonderful. Drop the guilt and enjoy the memories.

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Current Issues  /  PotD
Bound To Indiana
April 10, 2016
charles i. letbetter - bound to Indiana

In Indiana it’s not like New York where everyone’s like, ‘We’re from New York and we’re the best’ or ‘We’re from Texas and we like things big’ it’s more like ‘We’re from Indiana and we’re gonna move.’ —Jim Gaffigan

 

charles i. letbetter - bound to Indiana

Indiana has this way of entangling one to the point that leaving is nearly impossible

Today is my middle son’s 21st birthday. Since he’s in Japan, across the International Date Line, we conversed last night, Sunday morning his time. Somehow, the Marine Corp had let him sleep late and he was starting his day with a Corona that he had stowed away for the occasion. Just hearing that made me proud of him. He’s getting his life off to a better, freer, more honest start than I did.

Today also marks another anniversary, though, one I’m not nearly as proud to admit. I’ve now lived in Indiana, specifically Indianapolis, eleven years, the longest I’ve ever lived in any city. I won’t bore you with the story of how I got here as I’m sure I’ve already told it a sufficient number of times and thoroughly bored everyone who’s heard it. The point simply is that I never intended to make Indiana my home, but it has tied me down so thoroughly that leaving has yet to be an option I could afford to pursue.

I have to be careful here, as it is not my intention to offend everyone in this state. There are, like anywhere, some wonderful individuals that have, at the very least, made my life bearable, sometimes saved it, and sometimes even managed to make me smile. If asked, I could probably cobble together a list of about 30 people I’m not merely happy to have met but would probably, willingly, take with me on a road trip, including the college English teacher who was influential in convincing me to come here, the one gallery curator that doesn’t wince every time I walk through the door, and the Shibari master who not only made today’s pictures possible but managed to keep me alive when my continued existence was questionable.

Of coruse, it goes without saying, or should, that I wouldn’t have met Kat had I not endured living in Indiana all this time. She is the one thing that redeems this massive error in judgment. I jokingly question whether she and I share the same mental deformities that allow her to be as interested in me as I am in her. She actually likes sitting and watching me edit. We share a passion for coffee. She’s creatively expressive but doesn’t like having anyone try to put that creativity in a box or give it a limiting definition. She also dislikes the state of Indiana and wants to move, but then, she was born here, so her wanting to leave is more of a birthright given to every Hoosier.

What disappoints me most about Indiana, though, is how it devalues people, something we see in how the state chooses who governs and how that government is manifested through some of the most ridiculous laws ever imagined. The state of Indiana has prohibited even considering building a light rail system. They refuse to deal responsibly with companies millions of tons of chemicals into their streams and waterways, to the point that its entire water basin is polluted. Their infrastructure is a complete mess and their public education system is one of the worst in the country, despite being home to three of the best universities in the Midwest. I expected better. Everyone who lives here has a right to expect better. By failing to facilitate better transportation, better education, and a sustainable environment, state legislators are telling their constituents that their future does not matter, that their children’s lives are irrelevant, and they don’t give a damn if the bulk of the state lives in poverty.

Even worse, though, is how Indiana marginalizes its citizens. Last year, it was Indiana’s ridiculous Religious Freedom Restoration Act that brought public shame upon the state. This year, it is a ridiculously limiting, and probably unconstitutional, abortion law that is so horrid it has women calling the Governor’s office with details of their menstrual cycle in an effort to emphasize the degree to which the state has imposed itself upon the rights of women. Meanwhile, the state would rather see its people starve than provide food assistance. The state would rather pay corporate charter schools from out of state than invest in their own public school system. Each and every time the Governor and the state legislature makes one of these moves, they are telling people in Indiana that their lives don’t matter.

Once here, though, escaping from Indiana isn’t easy. If you’re a student, your best move might seem to be to go to school out of state. The problem with that is that there are three excellent universities here, IU, Purdue, and Notre Dame, that, depending on what one is studying, are among the best schools in the nation. So, you’re still stuck. Next option: get a good job elsewhere. Good luck with that. Employers have demonstrated a continued reluctance to hire Hoosiers from out of state. Why? Because we are perceived as being backward, overweight, lacking competitive drive, and culturally out of touch. I’m not saying no one from Indiana ever gets out, but being from Indiana means having the odds stacked against you from the very beginning.

Sure, there are other states just as bad, maybe even worse. Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, and North Carolina immediately come to mind. Indiana isn’t alone in its ability to elect some of the stupidest people on the planet who then enact some of the most ass-backward laws ever conceived. Indiana doesn’t have a corner on stupid.

Living here has gotten more challenging, though. Just this past Friday, a couple of friends had stopped by, along with their darling infant daughter. During our conversation, we noticed a considerable amount of police activity in the neighborhood. When they got ready to leave, they discovered that the neighborhood had been effectively locked down, no one being allowed in or out. They came back here and waited until almost midnight before being allowed to go home. At the same time, Kat and the kids were caught out of the neighborhood at a friends house. Even when police started letting people out of the neighborhood, they still weren’t letting anyone in. It was after 3:00 AM before Kat was able to get home and tuck her kids into their own bed. And after all that, after completely inconveniencing the more than 300 people who live in this rather secluded neighborhood, the person police were chasing got away.

Indiana has the ability to be a wonderful home. There are fantastically diverse state parks, wildlife, music, art, and top-notch advanced education opportunities. There are museums all over the place displaying the best material from around the world. There are more than enough reasons why living in Indiana should be wonderful. But it’s not. It hasn’t been the entire time I’ve lived here. And until the people of this state stop electing complete idiots to office, stop marginalizing people for stupid reasons like being gay or female, and get a handle on its crime issue, Indiana will continue to be a place that has to tie people down to keep them from leaving.

All that’s keeping us here now is waiting for Kat to finish school and her sister’s wedding. This past week, Kat was offered a position out of state at a salon with an international reputation. Whether she takes that offer or considers another, we’ll both finally be able to move. There is light at the end of our tunnel. We’re looking forward to cutting the ropes.

Indiana sucks, but it doesn’t have to. I suppose there’s a chance that they’ll one day wake up and change, but who wants to wait around for that? Opportunities are being lost every day. Cut your ropes, my friends. Move on.

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Behind The Scenes  /  Status
Mischief Managed
April 2, 2016
charles i. letbetter - mischief managed

Let them call it mischief: When it is past and prospered t’will be virtue. —Ben Jonson

 

charles i. letbetter - mischief managed

I moved to Indiana when he was six. This week we make up for lost time.

I mentioned last week that my youngest son was coming to visit. Despite multiple attempts, this was the first time any of my boys has been able to come here to see me rather than vice versa. We were incredibly excited. That week has flown by faster than any I can remember and now we’re taking him home. I’m sad that he can’t stay longer.  Still, we’ve had a very good time. He still has a baby face, so no one expects the mischief of which he is capable. He measures it out carefully.

Sunday, we hiked around Eagle Creek, found a bridge over a quiet stream, and sat and talked while he dug holes in the creekbed with a large stick. He used to complain about long hikes with his brothers. He seemed to enjoy this one.

Monday, we hung out at the mall (because, you know, that’s where the Lego store is) then took some time to watch Batman v. Superman. The last movie we saw in the theater together? The Incredibles and I carried him on my shoulders. He reminded me of that experience more than once. Despite his frequent requests, we did not attempt to reenact that experience.

Tuesday, our mischief took us downtown, starting on Mass Ave. where we played with toys and found a roof-top perch I didn’t know existed. We wound through the maze of memorials and skyscrapers until he got hungry. We hit Tilted Kilt because, you know, he’s 17. Besides, Taps & Dolls doesn’t do lunch and Hooters couldn’t be more passé. More than the over-priced burger and obvious scenic attraction, what does my son remember most about the day? The moist towelettes. He took three. He said they made his skin soft. We finished the day playing chess at Indy Reads Books. Score one for the old man. I can still beat him.

Wednesday was the family trip to the zoo. This was prime silly time as he was dive-bombed by exotic birds, ignored by baboons, and stared at by a very menacing looking cheetah. Had they let him take home a flamingo, I’m sure he would have tried. What was most surprising, though, was that by this point in the week we had worn him out. He was in bed before 9:30 that night;  the first time he’s been in bed that early in years.

Thursday, it rained. We stayed home. We talked a lot. We reminisced a lot. He asked questions about his grandparents, whom he barely remembers. We talked about life. We talked about girls. We talked about school, opportunities missed, and regrets.

Friday’s mischief took us to the Dallara Indycar Factory in Speedway. Since Kat had to be at the salon, we took the little ones with us. Those are the pictures below. The big hit of the day was the simulators. Based on how he performed there, I’m warning his mother to not let him drive for at least two more years. The world just isn’t ready. From there, we had froyo for lunch, then started the long walk home. Along the way, we passed several of the 2016 Indy 500 pace cars. Of course, he was smart enough to take a picture.

While his 18th birthday isn’t for a couple more weeks, we went ahead and celebrated a bit Friday evening. There were cupcakes. burgers, and mac & cheese. He fell asleep quite happy.

We’re going to miss him. There is still so very much to talk about. He still has a lot of questions that deserve answers. Perhaps, just maybe, we can make some arrangement for another trip this summer, though Kat’s schedule this summer is daunting. My baby boy is grown up in so many ways, but he still enjoys an afternoon of Phineas And Ferb and a bit of The Batman animated series before he falls asleep at night.

So, this round of mischief comes to an end. I’m hoping there will be more. I’ve missed time like this with all three boys. Who knows, maybe next time we can convince his eldest brother to join him. Although, I’m really not sure Indy is ready for that much Letbetter all at once. We’ll have to see. Enjoy the pictures.

 

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Music  /  PotD
A Little Bit Country
March 26, 2016
charles i. letbetter - a little bit country

I write some country music. There’s a song called ‘I Hope You Dance.’ Incredible. I was going to write that poem; somebody beat me to it. —Maya Angelou

 

charles i. letbetter 0 a little bit country

Listening to country music means being in a certain emotional place and giving your ears fair warning.

Patsy Cline. Little Jimmy Dickens. Charlie Pride. Conway Twitty. Hank Williams, Sr.

I’m listening to some country music as we make final preparations for my youngest son to visit later today. We’re excited. This is the first time in eleven years that any of my boys have been able to come to Indianapolis. So, we’ve made sure that my schedule is clear, that there are chips and soft drinks readily available for snacking, and that the refrigerator is well stocked. We’re looking forward to a lot of fun. There’s just one thing I’ve not yet warned Kat about: he listens to country music.

I’ll admit, the country/rock fence isn’t one I mind straddling. I was born at a wonderful time for music, back when radio was alive with some truly great sounds. I cut my teeth on the Beatles, learned to ride my bike with Peter, Paul, and Mary coming through the kitchen window, and learned to drive with the Doobie Brothers blasting from the stereo in the car. When our parents were gone, or not exactly paying attention, my brother and I were playing KISS, AC/DC, The Rolling Stones, and Three Dog Night on the console stereo in the back room. The music with which we grew up was nothing short of fantastic, which is why many of those songs are still alive and those bands are touring, even though their members pop blood pressure meds and swig Geritol instead of the more nefarious contents of the past.

At the same time, though, we were raised on a good balance of classic country music. Some of my favorite memories are sitting at the tiny little breakfast table in Towanda, Kansas and listening to Hank Williams, Roy Acuff, and Flatt & Scruggs on KFDI, 1070 AM, out of Wichita. Mother would sing along as she was cooking bacon or gently frying eggs sunny side up. We might listen to Foreigner or Boston in the afternoon, but the mornings belonged to Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, Dolly Parton, and The Oak Ridge Boys.

So yeah, I can enjoy a touch of country music as long as I am mentally prepared for it. One has to be in a special emotional place to listen to country music. The sad ballads common to artist such as Bobby Goldsboro and George Jones can kill even the happiest buzz. If you’re too depressed, a bit of Bill Monroe might just make a person suicidal. One also has to warn their ears that they are about to be assaulted. If you are accustomed to hearing pure, clear, well-trained vocal tones, a bit of Ricky Skaggs or Ronnie Milsap might come as a bit of a shock. If one listens to country all the time, it’s no big deal, your ears are desensitized. For the rest of us though, the sound requires a moment of auditory adjustment no matter how much we like it.

Which brings us to my biggest concern for the week. While I don’t have any problem with any of the artists I’ve mentioned, and will make everyone in the room observe a moment of silence when Allison Krauss goes “Down To The River To Pray,” my dear son listens to contemporary country. This could be a problem. I prefer classic country. Blake Shelton is about the newest artist I can handle, and that’s pretty much only because I still remember that boy when he was playing county fairs in Oklahoma. I tried listening to Luke Bryan’s latest song a while ago and had to turn it off after four bars. What if he wants to listen to that Zac Brown Band or Dustin Lynch? I can deal with some Rascal Flatts, but I’m not so sure about Brantley Gilbert or Maddie & Tae.

I understand, music never stays the same. Our parents didn’t understand any of the music we listened to, which was probably a good thing. My parents could go to a different room when we were playing REO Speedwagon or Jefferson Starship. The house here is smaller, though. There’s no place to escape. I want my son to feel comfortable and at home, but if he asks to listen to Maren Morris I’m not sure how I’m going to respond (is that actually a clap track at the beginning of that song?).

Fortunately, there’s so much more to my son than his music choices. We’re going to have a great week with him and I’m sure you’ll see me mention my favorite G-man more than once this week. I’m looking forward to showing him around Indianapolis and having a good time. We’ll eat Long’s Donuts and drink coffee at Lino’s and I might even introduce him to Mug & Bun. I wouldn’t even mind if he were to meet an attractive and friendly female friend while he’s here.

The music, though … maybe we’ll just leave the radio on NPR this week.

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PotD  /  Social Commentary
The Art Of Being Chill
March 22, 2016
charles i. letbetter - the art of being chill

I don’t want to sound like a grumpy old man, but nothing winds me up more than people saying, ‘Chill out’ to me when I’m irritated! —Martin Freeman

 

charles i. letbetter - the art of being chill

Being chill comes easily for many people, but there are some who have turned it into an art form

Like many people my age, I have to deal with high blood pressure. Medically, there are a lot of reasons for having blood-pumping issues: our lifestyles being hectic, our diets being too high in sodium, and a general fear that we might die without having accomplished enough. There are plenty of things that would probably solve all but the worst of blood pressure problems without medication, but that would require we actually alter how we live rather dramatically. We’re not likely to do that, being the stubborn folk that we are, so the doctor gives us pills that try to force our blood pressure back down to a manageable level that won’t kill us quite so quickly.

The pills don’t always work, though. The doctor has increased the strength of my medication twice before and I’m still generating systolic and diastolic readings that are far too high to be safe. Kat keeps telling me I need to chill. She makes it sound so easy. She makes it look so easy. Just “chill.” She drinks coffee and relaxes. I drink coffee and feel the need to take a thousand new pictures. She sees something stupid in her news feed and ignores it. I see something stupid in my news feed and am ready to rip someone’s head off their shoulders. I am so very much not chill.

About a month ago, Forbes magazine published a story Finding Chill in Valparaíso, Chile. The article contains beautiful photos full of the color and culture of this relatively small Chilean city. The author talks about his hotel with hammocks on the roof, the delicious yet inexpensive food, and stray dogs that will walk you home at night (not kidding). Everything in the article sounds so wonderful that I was almost ready to pack my bags and go, until the author discloses that, while there, he tripped on a seawall and broke his leg in two places. That’s a risk I can’t take. Scratch Chile off my travel list.

It seems obvious that I need to go somewhere to chill. Indianapolis is definitely not a chill type of city. We get uptight about almost everything around here. With the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 this year, the entire neighborhood around us is anything but chill. But with Valparaíso off the list, where should I go?

Back in 2010, Forbes also published a list of the most relaxed cities in America. The twin cities of Minneapolis-St. Paul topped the list. They won because they have short commute times, get plenty of exercise, and had good insurance. Note, this survey took place before the Affordable Care Act took affect so that last detail might have changed. Looking through the other cities on the list, Milwaukee, Portland, Seattle, Denver, San Jose, it seems to me that all those cities have experienced some significant change in the past six years. Political changes have ruined Wisconsin. Portland’s population of hipsters has exploded. Seattle has become one of the most expensive cities in the country. Denver won a Super Bowl. San Jose’s Silicon Valley has experienced a lot of employment upheaval while real estate prices soared. Not seeing a number of benefits there.

Music is supposed to help people chill, right? According to the British Academy of Sound Therapy, the song Weightless is the best choice to help people chill. In fact, the song is apparently so effective one some people that the scientists involved in the study recommend that one not drive while listening to the piece. The song, which was specifically composed for this study. starts at 60 beats per minute and gradually slows to 50. I tried listening. I made it about 30 seconds before wanting to shoot something. Weightless has no freaking melody! It’s just electronic noise with carefully constructed pulsing.

From what I can tell, if one is going to master the art of being chill, they need to successfully do the following:

  • Live somewhere inexpensive. Paying a lot of bills or not being able to afford food is stressful.
  • Exercise. Being able to get out and walk without getting killed seems to be a plus.
  • Have friendly neighbors. You know, the kind that don’t fire weapons indiscriminately in the middle of the night.
  • Consume fresh food that is easily accessible. Having stores within walking distance helps (hint, hint).
  • Enjoy live, non-sedentary entertainment. I’m not sure whether Netflix and chill counts or not.
  • Have something constructive to do that you enjoy and provides sufficient income. Stressful jobs are inherently chill killers.
  • Don’t over-commit your time. Saying “no” and not feeling guilty about staying home helps.
  • Avoid toxic people. That friend who is constantly inducing drama? Ditch ’em.
  • Sleep more. Not getting enough rest is one of the primary causes of stress.

Anyone who can successfully do those things can master the art of being chill.

I’m probably going to die.

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Current Issues  /  PotD  /  Social Commentary
Recovering From The Weekend
March 21, 2016
charles i. letbetter - recovering from the weekend

It’s not that hard to imagine the natural world recovering it’s health in our absence: it’s more difficult, and more necessary, to imagine it recovering its health in our presence. —Alex Steffen

 

charles i. letbetter - recovering from the weekend

Needing to recover from a weekend aren’t that unusual, but the reasons this morning are quite sad.

 

There is, in the following words, no attempt to be funny. I’m well aware that the thought of recovering from the weekend typically involves stories of a more whimsical nature, often involving some level of drunkenness and subsequent shenanigans, but that’s just not possible. This wasn’t a fun weekend, and even now, since I started typing, we’re finding out more that is absolutely breaking our hearts. Here’s a synopsis of the things that got our attention this weekend, in no particular order.

  • Shortly after noon on Friday, a young mother with whom we are acquainted delivered a baby boy. He was not healthy. He was not bouncing. He was stillborn from his umbilical cord being wrapped around his neck. After a full nine months of waiting and excitement, her baby was gone.
  • Saturday evening, a young mother was killed when a semi plowed into the back of her car that was, for reasons likely to remain unknown, stopped in the right lane of the interstate. Her son, who is a very precious special needs little boy, attended the same daycare as Kat’s little ones and always came running to say hi when we picked them up.
  • Early Sunday morning, a 27-year-old police officer and a supervising sergeant were attempting to serve an arrest warrant for, of all things, drug paraphernalia at a trailer park near Kokomo. The situation went bad quickly and both officers were hit in a shootout that killed the suspect. The younger officer died from his injuries Sunday morning, leaving behind a wife and baby boy.
  • Over 150 firefighters responded to a three-alarm fire Sunday night at a truck stop on Indy’s west side. The fire started outside the Denny’s restaurant attached to the truck stop. Damages are estimated to be over $2 million.
  • A school bus carrying a high school basketball team and coaches from Northwest Indiana was sideswiped by a car on Saturday, resulting in it rolling off the highway. Miraculously, none of the boys were severely hurt, though there were, understandably, a number of cuts and severe bruises. One coach was airlifted to the hospital but is in good condition. What caused the driver of the car to swerve into the bus? Her drink spilled.
  • Shots were fired at a police cruiser on Indianapolis’ near Northside a little after 11:15 last night.  No officers were hit, but the event underscores tensions in that neighborhood.
  • No fewer than three people were killed in additional traffic accidents over the weekend.

Yesterday was supposed to be the International Day of Happiness, but for a large number of people across Indiana, there was nothing to be happy about. The things I’ve listed here are just a fraction of events that occurred around the world. In Spain, a bus carrying exchange students crashed, killing 14. In Southern Russia, a FlyDubai flight crashed as it attempted to land at an airport, killing all 62 people on board. A suicide bomber killed four in a busy market in Istanbul. North Korea fired at least five short-range missiles into the Sea of Japan, raising international tensions.

So much tragedy in such a short period of time leaves our senses reeling. Anyone of those events was horribly traumatic for the families of those involved. Even for those of us who might not be directly effected, the number of events is disturbing.

Sunday was also the vernal equinox, the start of Spring, a time we typically associate with freshness and new beginning. We think of Spring as a time of renewal, a chance to start over, to break free of the dreariness of the winter. Yet, with all the tragedy of this weekend, feeling those positive vibes is difficult.

Recovering from all this takes a moment. Recovering from a single tragedy, even when we weren’t directly involved, is like waiting for a bruise to heal. With so many, so close in time, recovering feels a bit like trying to get over losing a prize fight. When one is empathetic with the world, as one should be, recovering requires acts of kindness to offset the cruelty and tragedy. Finding such kindness, especially on a Monday, can be difficult.

What bothers me more, though, are people who can shrug everything off without feeling anything at all. They are totally disconnected emotionally from the rest of the world. When bad things happen around them, they feel nothing. These people scare me, for those who do not share empathy with those around them are more likely to commit violent acts themselves, or tolerate acts  of violence by others. When there is a lack of empathy among those who would be our world leaders, we are at risk of war.

Recovering from this weekend is going to take a moment. I would ask that you please be kind to those you encounter because you never know who has had tragedy in their life this weekend. We all can use a smile and maybe a hug where it’s appropriate. We need this week to get better quickly, but it will take all of us to make that happen.

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Photography
Photography Improvement Time
March 19, 2016
charles i. letbetter - photography improvement time

Photography is the simplest thing in the world, but it is incredibly complicated to make it really work. —Martin Parr

 

charles i. letbetter - photography improvement

Improving your photography doesn’t have to cost thousands of dollars

Spring officially arrives this next week and along with that comes the annual spade full of photography workshops, seminars, and “master” classes all of which have one primary goal in mind: separating you from your money. I’m not saying the people holding those seminars don’t have any valuable insight or information, they very well may have just the words you need to transform your work. What I’m saying is that, in most cases, there is not enough value to match the price of admission. Many of the people I see holding workshops today are only doing so because they can’t make enough money as photographers to pay the bills. Are any of the workshops out there actually worth $200, $500, or even $2500? None that I’ve seen.

Every photographer should always be looking for ways to refine and improve their photography. Given that we live and work in a digital age, the honing of our skills changes every time a new software update is release. When Adobe pushed out an update to the RAW engine this week, I wasn’t expecting much other than the addition of new camera profiles. First time I opened an image, though, the entire interface had changed! There is always a need to continue learning, to keep up to date, and to improve our skills. But do you need a workshop for that? Absolutely not!

If YouTube is not already one of your most trusted sources of information, that needs to change. With thousands of photographers online and willing to share their experiences and information, there are myriad sources to help you hone your craft and become a better photographer. Photographer-oriented website PetaPixel published a list last week of 13 Photography Channels on YouTube You Should Follow. Actually, their current list is up to 23, which just goes to make my point: the Internet is loaded with more than enough free sources that paying for seminars should be limisted to the very few instances where you can get one-on-one, hands-on help with your photography.

Caveat #1: not every photography-oriented video is created equal. There is a lot of ego-driven bullshit here just as there is with live seminars. That’s why I’m not giving you links to whole channels. I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t have its share of time-wasting nonsense. Some discretion is necessary and in some cases, especially those involving software tutorials, video quality can make all the difference in the world.

Caveat #2: even with the best instruction available, it is up to you to adapt that instruction to your specific style of shooting. New Mexico doesn’t need 10,000 Ansel Adams clones running around in the desert. Make use of what you learn to develop your style more creatively and proficiently.

All that being said, here are five videos that stand out and may just be something that changes the way you take pictures. A couple of them are pretty long, so you may want to bookmark this page or save the video on YouTube if you have an account there. Creating your own playlist is a good way to keep track of useful videos you find so you can reference the information again later. However you choose to handle them, I sincerely hope they all help in some way. Becoming better photographers not only increases the value of your own work but increases the value of all photography.

Using Any Light Source

There’s no such thing as “bad” light, especially with today’s digital cameras that can shoot with practically no light at all. This is over an hour, though, so make sure you have time to get through the whole thing before you start.

50 Quick Photography Tricks

Many of these are common sense to those with sufficient experience, but others are things we just don’t think about and represent some bad or sloppy habits that are easy to fall into. The video isn’t too long. Take a look and see how many of these things you’re already doing.

Are You An Artist?

Want to start an argument among photographers? Ask them this question. There are many opinions as to whether photography can even be an art. Artist Roger Ballen gives you his answer and I find it quite instructive for anyone who wants an artistic edge to their work. The video is just over two minutes but the impact may alter everything you shoot the rest of yourlife.

Finding Photographic Style

Here’s another long one (two hours) from the manager of the B&H event space. This is like getting a whole seminar for free. He really gets deep into the various concepts and methods one can use to explore their own style and stimulate creativity. Block out the time so you don’t have any interuptions.

Creating Visual Stories.

This is an increibly important topic and photographic documentarian Dan Milnor provides some great insight into how to give storytelling abilities to your photographs. In just seven minutes, he can change the way you look at photographs.

That should keep you busy for a while. I strongly suggest that after every one of the videos you take your camera out and see how you can apply what you’ve learned to the pictures you take. Bookmark this page, bookmark the article on PetaPixel, and create a list of your favorite and most isueful videos. Visit them again and again, and search out more. There is plenty of information being shared. What’s left is for you to receive it.

 

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Photography  /  PotD
Indianapolis St. Patrick’s Day Parade
March 18, 2016

Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn’t want to – or can’t – join the Big Parade. —Bette Midler

 

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Yesterday’s Saint Patrick’s Day Parade in downtown Indianapolis might have been the biggest crowd turnout yet and, as promised, we have pictures. While temperatures were still a bit on the chilly side, it was not nearly as cold as last year, which may have encouraged a lot of people to abandon whatever they were doing and get out. Indianapolis throws a good parade and kids in town know it. They lined the curbs early holding bags and buckets with which to carry home all the candy. Parade participants can no longer throw candy from a float or even into crowds from the street. They have to actually hand the candy to someone. As a result, only those along the curb are likely to get anything. Indy kids know that and came prepared.

The St. Pat’s parade is a little different from other parades in that there are fewer (practically none) large colorful floats and more groups of people just walking down the street celebrating (sort of) their shared heritage. There are a lot of people of Irish descent in Indianapolis and they’re not the least bit shy about letting their Irish fly year round. As a result, when we take pictures at this parade we tend to focus on interesting people rather than large groups. Groups, especially large numbers of Catholic school kids looking as though they’d rather be in math class, don’t provide the story that individuals do. We try to zero in on smaller sets and individuals. When we do capture a group, it tends to be because there is something unique about them, like carrying folding chairs.

There were some notable differences in this year’s parade, at least from our perspective. Kat actually walked the entire parade route and got a good feel for the crowd while I stayed near the starting point and snapped pictures. Here are some of the things we noticed:

  • Babies. Since it wasn’t bone-chilling cold this year, there seemed to be tiny ones all over the place. We’re guessing it has something to do with that whole Catholic ban on contraception.
  • Not nearly as many dogs. There were Irish setters and other breeds in abundance last year, but we didn’t see nearly as many this year.
  • References to alcohol were missing, or we just didn’t see them. There was no one in a Guinness costume nor any entry by local distributors.
  • Fewer politicians in the parade. Indianapolis Mayor Joe Hogsett was there, of course, on foot, getting up close and personal with everyone. Surprisingly, though, he was the only one. Neither of the gubernatorial candidates were present (that we saw) and none of the City Council or Congressional candidates were present in an official capacity as part of the parade. However …
  • An oversized effigy of Governor Pence circulated through the crowds. It wasn’t part of the actual parade and we never were in position to get a decent picture. The anti-governor sentiment was strong, though.
  • Not as many media outlets participated. We didn’t see WISH (channel 8) at all and WTHR (channel 13) focused their coverage more on events around town. There weren’t as many radio stations this year, either.
  • There was less candy being distributed this year. Last year, Kat had her purse full, which we hadn’t expected. This year, neither of us got as much as a dum-dum. Those kids along the curb were disappointed more than once as groups passed without handing out anything.
  • Middle school kids still find the parade boring. We’ve noticed this before. The poor kids walking in the parade look as though they’re about to have teeth extracted. Perhaps some of those Catholic schools should reconsider. Let the kindergartners walk the parade. That would be interesting.
  • Everyone loves to pretend they’re Irish.

Indy’s St. Patrick’s day parade isn’t the all-out spectacle of cities such as New York or Savannah, but it’s still fun and honors a culture and history that is still very present in the city. Here’s to parade and Irish and not waking up with a horrible hangover this morning!

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pop culture  /  PotD
Pinch Me, I’m Not Wearing Green
March 17, 2016
charles i. letbetter - pinch me, i'm not wearing green

All theory, dear friend, is gray, but the golden tree of life springs ever green. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

charles i. letbetter - pinch me, I'm not wearing green

Celebrating a culture is one thing, totally misappropriating it is quite another

I’m not always the most observant person in the world. I turned on Spotify last night and discovered they’d added a new playlist for me: Greatest St. Paddy’s Day Hits. Apparently, it’s been there a week and will go away after today. I’m still trying to figure out what is Irish about Tracy Chapman’s cover of Stand By Me or Ray Charles’ I’ve Got A Woman. I think the creators of the list might have been stretching a bit to come up with 12 hours worth of music on the theme. I’m thankful, though, they didn’t just include songs with the word green in the title. That would be a strange list.These are the type of things we encounter on St. Patrick’s Day each year. They turned Indianapolis’ downtown canal green yesterday (not that it needed much help) and I’m sure several other cities did something similar. .

These are the type of things we encounter on St. Patrick’s Day each year. They turned Indianapolis’ downtown canal green yesterday (not that it needed much help) and I’m sure several other cities did something similar. There will be orange, white, and green flags flying everywhere. Children will wear silly green mustaches. People will get drunk on really weak green beer and the truly desperate will wear “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” t-shirts. The party starts early and won’t end until the last redhead falls under the table.

I don’t have any problem with celebrating Irish tradition and culture; theirs is a very rich and very long history that can be reasonably dated to 4,000 BCE and even further than that if one wants to believe certain overly-patriotic Irish authors. I once attempted to read a very large book that supposedly contained the exhaustive history of Ireland in which the author claimed the Irish ancestors were responsible for everything from the creation of language to the invention of the wheel. Unfortunately, I never finished the book as I kept falling asleep on top of its pages. The book is demonstrative, though, of just how long and deep Irish culture is. There are plenty of reasons to celebrate.

Still, you might as well go ahead and pinch me now, I’m not wearing green. The reasons are simple: 1. I don’t have anything green. If you know me, you know my wardrobe is very monochrome, occupying only the black palette. 2. I’m not Irish. Not even a little bit. In the great melting pot that is our family bloodline, about a third is Cherokee/Choctaw and the rest is a mix of Dutch, German, French, and Russian. No Irish at all. 3. I’m not Catholic. Never have been. Never want to be. This may be the most important reason because orange is just as important an Irish color as is green, but which one wears totally depends on whether one is Protestant (orange) or Catholic (green) and both sides are equally strong. This is why there are three colors, not one, in the Irish flag.

The line between celebrating a culture and misappropriating it can sometimes be quite thin. There’s nothing wrong with today’s parades and parties. Irish people have contributed significantly to the American culture and way of life despite the fact they were treated quite horribly when they first arrived. Had a certain presidential candidate been alive 100 years ago, he likely would have been proposing a ban on Irish; many politicians of the time actually suggested such a thing. Fortunately, that ban never happened, but they were still treated horrifically until after WWII. Celebrating all that the Irish have done for American is totally appropriate.

Unfortunately, like many things we Americans do, we take it too far. The Irish are a wonderfully hospitable people but that doesn’t give us the right to completely misappropriate and misrepresent their culture, even for a day, just so we can make a buck or have an excuse to take the day off work and get drunk. Wearing green is totally insincere if one is neither Irish or Catholic. All the stuff about leprechauns and pots of gold, green beer, silly t-shirts, and dying everything green has less to do with celebrating a culture and more to do with trying to make a quick buck off a culture the greater majority of people don’t even begin to understand. Just because our Irish friends invite us to party with them doesn’t give us a right to completely take over the day and completely misrepresent who they are.

Who are the Irish? They’re hard-working, god-fearing people with a tenacity that has gotten them through famine, drought, and unwarranted hostility. They’ve had their way of life threatened, they’ve survived the natural hardships of living on a craggy rock of an island in the North Atlantic, and still they’ve managed to flourish with a form of art, music, dance, literature, and fashion that is all their own. They are distinctive from other European tribes of the region. They work hard, fight harder, and have a passion unmatchable. Those are all things worthy of being celebrated.

Yes, we’ll be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day today, but we’ll attempt to do so appropriately.  We’ll go to the parade and take pictures (which we’ll post here tomorrow), we’ll enjoy the company of an Irish friend or two, and at some point, we’ll likely enjoy one of the best beers made. Just don’t look for me to be wearing any green; not this year, not ever. Celebrate, don’t misappropriate.

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