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Current Issues  /  Personal  /  PotD
It’s Okay For Boys To Wear Makeup
October 12, 2016
charles i. letbetter - it's okay for boys to wear makeup

I feel more confident if my makeup looks good. —Ellie Goulding

charles i. letbetter - It's okay for boys to wear makeup

Major marketing milestones are great, but reaffirming a little boy’s desire to wear makeup is even better.

Kat’s Little Man is bright. He reads well beyond his grade level, excels at math  and problem-solving, and is quite sure he already knows everything (and isn’t afraid to say so). That part’s good. Where things become challenging are with his social skills. He likes people, but they annoy the crap out of him. Many of you can relate. They can also hurt his feelings quite easily and one of the most frequent reasons is he likes to wear makeup.

He’s asleep as I write this, but if I were to take a picture at this moment you’d see fingernails with chipped remnants of the nail polish he put on his fingers the other night. He did it himself and did a very good job. That’s about as much as he can get away with at school. The dress code prohibits any child from wearing makeup until fifth grade. If he could, though, he would probably wear makeup to school every day. He likes makeup. A lot. Unfortunately, his expression of that pleasure comes at a price.

So, when Covergirl Cosmetics announced James Charles as their first male spokesmodel, Kat and I thought it was a big deal. I waited until the Tipster had gone to bed before calling Little Man over to the computer. “Hey look!” I said, excited to show him something cool. “Here’s another boy who likes to wear makeup!”

His response was not what I expected.

Biases Start Early

“Yeah, I know. The girls at school still say that nail polish and makeup is only for girls and that boys can’t wear makeup.”

No excitement. He looked at the computer then down at his fingernails. I didn’t need to ask to know how he felt, but I did so that he can learn to express how he’s feeling. “I’m sorry they said that. How did that make you feel?”

“Angry,” he said. “I like wearing makeup and I want to wear makeup but those girls are just stupid.” He was visibly, physically agitated. Not wanting to get him upset right before bedtime, I tried to distract him with this:

 

That didn’t work. “Yeah, but they still won’t let ME wear makeup to school,” Little Man mused as he returned to his seat on the couch.

“Well, maybe that could be you on that cover one day,” I tried, grasping at straws. I wanted him to be excited and encouraged and that just wasn’t happening.

He looked back at the picture on my monitor and said, “I can do better makeup than that.”

All About The Makeup

At this point, I should probably emphasize that sexuality is not part of the conversation we have with Little Man. He’s not close to understanding that topic yet and we see no reason to push him in any direction. That decision is his to make when he’s ready to make it. At this point, we try hard to not separate our friends into groups. Whether they’re gay, straight, bi, trans, or gloriously somewhere between all those choices, we still refer to them simply as our friends. The sexuality conversations can come later.

What matters for the moment is that Little Man really likes makeup. He always has. Kat has pictures of him when he was only two after he had gotten into her makeup. To some extent, that exploration is quite normal for a little boy at that age. I remember my middle son, the one who is now a Marine, coming out of the bathroom when he was four, his face covered in his mom’s makeup. Many parents have similar stories. Where other boys move on, though, Little Man never has. He loves makeup and is constantly “borrowing” his mom’s best makeup (always the expensive stuff) for his “experiments.”

Since the kids were on fall break last week, Kat took some time with her little guy to teach him how to apply makeup properly. She gave him a palette and the appropriate applicators, then let him put the makeup on her face. While his color choices made it appear in pictures as though his mom had a black eye, his general application and blending were surprisingly good. His eye shadow application was spot on. The kid may well be a natural.

Supporting Little Man’s interest in makeup isn’t difficult. We have plenty of makeup appropriate for experimenting. Kat has the knowledge of how to teach him to use the makeup correctly. No one at home judges his choice in any way (though we might sometimes wince at his color combinations).

We can’t control what happens when he leaves the house, though. He’s not content only wearing makeup at home. Little Man wants to look good when he goes out, even if it’s to the store, and we can’t control the responses he encounters in those situations.

Building A Better World

The atmosphere for boys like Little Man is improving. We have male friends who wear makeup when they visit so he knows he’s not alone. People around him who know him help by not reinforcing old gender stereotypes. There are no “girl” colors or “boy” colors.

Attitudes, though, are a different thing. Seeing that even in second-grade children have already developed opinions about what boys can do or girls can do is disappointing.  We not only limit our children’s means of self-expression, but we also limit their ability to explore and try new things. We limit their goals and their desire to achieve when we tell  them that they can’t do something simply because of their gender.

As adults, our responsibility is to build a better world for our children. We make sure the air remains breathable. We make sure the planet can continue to provide food. Their safety, education, and ability to achieve are matters we take seriously. We fail all children, though, when we establish limits because of their gender. Boys can wear makeup. Girls can sport crew cuts. Neither should ever feel that anyone is limiting them because of who and what they are.

If we do not provide that world for our children, we all have failed.

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Current Issues  /  PotD
5 Things More Important Than Politics
October 10, 2016
charles i. letbetter - 5 things more important than politics

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. —John Kenneth Galbraith

 

charles i. letbetter -5 things more important than politics

Politics be damned. There are things more important. A lot of things. Time to re-focus

My newsfeed is full of comments,articles, statements, and quotes regarding last night’s Presidential debate. I’m doing my best to ignore as much of it as possible. I was having hot chocolate and cherry pie while the debate was occurring, enjoying time with family. I went to bed before the debate was over. I slept well, not giving a second thought to  either candidate.

With a field of candidates more unlikeable and unqualified than we’ve ever seen, the intelligent move would have been to shut down the conversations, ignore the buffoonery, and focus on issues we could actually change for the positive. Apparently, we’re not that smart. From the very beginning, we went for the clown show, laughing at how absurd it all was. Our constant attention encouraged even more stupidity and it grew to the point we now have a circus that is nothing more than really bad slapstick.

Meanwhile,  there are really important things going on in the world. There are probably thousands of things I could list that are more important than politics, but we’ve narrowed the list to five in hopes that maybe someone will actually pay attention this time. Take a look.

People In Haiti Are Digging Mass Graves

The death toll is over 1,000 in Haiti now. Cholera is beginning to sweep the island, which could kill more than Hurricane Matthew did. Rural areas, once again the hardest hit, are in desperate need of help with the most basic of necessities, such as clean water and sanitation. If you live anywhere in the United States, even if you are homeless, you are better off than the people of Haiti at this moment.

Calls for help are, of course, going out, but one thing we learned from the aftermath of the earthquake there three years ago is that the government is so incredibly corrupt and cares so very little for its people that very little aid actually gets to the people who need it. By some accounts, as much as 90 percent of aid sent to Haiti never reached its intended destination. Instead, it was hoarded by government leaders who used aid funds to line their own pockets.

What do we do? I don’t know. There’s no aid that does not have to go through government channels.While NGOs such as the Red Cross and the UN are doing their best, what we are seeing so far is a repeat of the disaster from three years ago. Haiti’s government doesn’t care if people die. Only a full-scale takeover of the government gets people the assistant they need, and no one is going to do that. The people of Haiti are screwed.

Meanwhile, the death toll from Hurricane Matthew in the US is at 17. That story is buried in most newspapers this morning, too. I had to hunt for it.

Santos Gives Nobel Prize Money To Colombian Victims

Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos won the Nobel Peace Prize last week for his efforts to end the long civil war in his country. Some were surprised that he won despite an election that turned away an agreement that would have ended the conflict. Yet, the Nobel committee chose to acknowledge his efforts, saying that the election results were out of his control.

The monetary piece of the Nobel Prize is 8 million Swedish krona, which, based on this morning’s exchange rate, is just under a million dollars US. That much money buys a lot in Colombia and President Santos had many options. Politics being what they are, no one would have been too surprised had Santos chosen to put the money behind something that would benefit him politically. Instead, he chose to give it to those most affected by the ongoing war.

With the peace agreement having been shot down by voters and a cease-fire set to expire this week, fears in Colombia are mounting. The rural people have that country have been especially hard hit. Yet, unlike the situation in Haiti, they have a President who, at least on the surface, seems to care.

Stew Is Better Than Steak

Food is so much more important than politics. With the weather having cooled off, we can once again turn our attention to the savory and flavorful dishes that not only fill us but keep us warm. I made my first pot of chili for the season last night and will probably do some manner of veggie stew later this week.

Is stew actually better than steak, though? Really?

Think about that question for a moment. Think of the variety, the flavors, the options one has with stew that simply doesn’t exist with steak.  If I prepare a steak for dinner, I have to be careful to choose just the right cut of meat, prepare it in just the right way with a limited group of appropriate spices, and pray that I’m not distracted and ruin it by cooking it a touch too long.

Stew, on the other hand, is a rainbow food. Toss at it whatever’s left over in the fridge, or what you’re still pulling from your garden. Maybe you add meat, maybe you don’t (though, by definition, most stew at least has a meat stock base). One can get really fancy with the ingredients, or one can play it loose and adventuresome. Making a bad stew is almost impossible. Oh, and cutting the meat into chunks also makes it more tender and flavorful, something you can’t do with a steak.

See? So much more important than what the Republican called the Democrat.

The Cubs

Tonight is game 3 of the National League playoffs, Cubs vs. Mets. The Cubs took the first two games. They have a talented pitching staff. The bats have worked when they were needed. The Cubs could sweep the Mets tonight.

Politics? Who needs politics when there is a more than reasonable chance that the Chicago Cubs could end up in the World Series for the first time in 108 years?

I have to admit, it has been interesting to watch the playoff coverage in the Chicago Tribune. They have been so very careful to not get too excited, to not be overly positive, to not give the Cubs any undue credit.  We’ve   been down this road before: the Cubs make the playoffs but can’t seal the deal. To be a  Cubs fan is to spend every October crying into your beer.

Yet, this year, with this team, things could be different. Maybe. Just maybe.

Tomorrow Is The Deadline For Voter Registration In Indiana

Okay, this is sort of political. Although, politics aren’t the only reason we vote. Duty, commitment, love of our country, and an obligation to participate in our government are why we vote. Politics are merely an annoying side effect, rather like anal leakage.

Voting is always more important that the politics surrounding your vote.  There are too many people in our country who would take votes away from people whose voice needs to be heard. If you have the ability to vote, you have a moral obligation to do so. This is the way our country was designed to work. You not voting is exactly the same as Congress spending roughly two-thirds of the year on vacation: neither are doing what the country needs us to do.

No, voting doesn’t make the politics go away. Sometimes, the politics get worse. We are such an ideologically diverse country that our passion sometimes gets in the way of doing what is right.

Voting is not an endorsement of a candidate. Voting is saying to those elected, “Hey, I’m a citizen. My life matters. And I’m watching you.”

If you are not registered to vote, do so now.

 

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Current Issues  /  Mythology  /  PotD
Hiding From The Glare Of Our Own Sins
September 22, 2016
charles i. letbetter - hiding from the glare of our sins

Hateful to me as are the gates of hell, Is he who, hiding one thing in his heart, Utters another. —Homer

charles i. letbetter - hiding from the glare of our own sins

We’re quick to find fault in others, but we are hiding from the truth

 

An  entire professional sports team took a knee during the national anthem last night. Notice, as often as we’ve seen people using the national anthem as a means of protest, it’s always been limited to a few members here and there. This was the entire Indiana Fever WNBA team, on a knee. Why? Because they’re tired of us hiding the prevalence of institutionalized violence against black people.

Charlotte, North Carolina is still rioting this morning. The governor of that state has called out the National Guard. Hiding the systemic hate and violence against black people in that state is no longer an option. The sins of the state and its cities have come out of the shadows where they have existed for the past 160 years and good folks down there are taking to the streets to end the nonsense.

Meanwhile, the Republican nominee told supporters at a rally yesterday that he supports a stop-and-frisk policy, illegally detaining people simply because a police officer doesn’t like the way they look, or the way they walk, or the color of their skin. Only one person walked out. The room should have been empty, but we’re still foolishly trying to hide our racism.

We, Americans, have become quite talented at hiding our sins, especially those we commit toward people groups that are different from us. We have created institutions to perpetuate those sins and even ingrain them in our educational methods that ignore the presence and contributions of marginalized people. As the light dawns, however, those sins become far too clear.

Hiding Behind Tradition

“We’ve done things this way for years and no one’s every complained before.”

Maurice Maeterlinck, who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1911, wisely said: “At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard the past.” We don’t give up on tradition easily, no matter how horribly flawed we know it to be. We hang on to these “sins of our fathers” as though they were some kind of sick birthright to which we have no choice but to uphold.

Hiding behind tradition is a lazy excuse, though. We dump tradition in a heart beat when it suits us. When we say, “It’s always been that way,” what we are in fact saying is that we want it to always stay that way. We invoke tradition because we are comfortable with our sins. The traditions are so much a part of us that we even try to claim them as part of our culture and heritage. Yet, we know damn good and well we’re wrong.

Remember this song by Bruce Hornsby and The Range from 1986? Even then, as the song pointed out the sins we are trying to hide by saying, “That’s just the way it is,” we listened to the song and just dug ourselves in deeper. Here, let me refresh your memory.

Hiding Behind Religion

Talked about entrenched. When people have been misinterpreting a writing they’ve declared holy, whether intentionally or through ignorance, the shadows created for hiding our sins run deep. We find it all too easy to excuse our behavior, and often our indignation and intolerance, with the simple phrase,”The Bible tells me so.”  Conveniently, there are plenty of places throughout the holy texts of multiple religions where deity instructs us, or someone eons before us, to behave like complete assholes. That whole “go here and kill those people who don’t believe in me” concept is something we’ve translated into an excuse for hate, discrimination, abuse, imprisonment, wars, and other atrocities too horrible to mention.

Ironically, while providing these deep shadows for hiding our sins, religion simultaneously tells us we are supposed to love each other, to be tolerant of the strangers and foreigners among us, to embrace those who are different. This is the message that makes us feel good on a Sunday morning. We look around the congregation at the end of the service and proclaim, “I just love everybody.” Yet, before you’re even out the door you’re casting side glances at old Mrs. Talkstoomuch so you don’t get stuck listening about a lonely old widow’s aches and pains. You drive past 15 perfectly good restaurants to get to the one whose wait staff has the right color skin. Then, after dinner, you sit in your easy chair to watch a ball game and complain about how “those people” are ruining the game. Tell me again, please, just exactly who it is your religion told you to love?

Hiding behind religion is inexcusable. If you think your religion tells you that some people are inherently worse than others, you need a new religion. No holy book covers your sins. You’re guilty and you know it. You want to clap your hands about that?

Hiding Behind Ignorance

One of the greatest sins of my generation is that we have intentionally institutionalized hate by only teaching history from the perspective of a white, anglo-saxon protestant existence that was never more than horseshit in the first place. For far too long, everything we taught in school was based on a white-washed, brain-washed, hand-sanitized view of the world designed to marginalize, criminalize, and oppress anyone who wasn’t white and middle class. While the textbooks have changed in some places, there are still plenty of instances where the secession of Confederate states is justified, where the holding of slaves is taught as an economic necessity, and the Ku Klux Klan is referred to as a religious civic organization.

We were raised with readers that only contained illustrations of white children with names like Dick and Jane. We were taught that the extermination of native peoples was necessary to “advance the frontier.” Even in television programming and movies taught us that the “indians” were always the bad guys, nothing more than blood-thirsty savages. With such ignorance being taught in schools is it any wonder we’re now faced with situations such as the Dakota Access Pipeline where far too many people don’t seem to have any problem with polluting tribal water or desecrating tribal land? We justify our sins with the claim that, “we didn’t know,” or even worse, “I don’t understand why they’re so upset.”

One member of the Oglala Lakota Nation said yesterday:

“We’re not just some hashtag out there just making a scene. We want to be heard. We want you guys to understand that we are fighting for our lives, for our children, for our people, the way we have, our culture, our identity.”

There is no excuse for our ignorance and that shadow is insufficient to hide our sins.

We Are In The Wrong

Let’s get real: If you can justify police murdering an unarmed man in Tulsa, you are wrong.

If you think that police have a reason to be afraid of a person just because of the color of their skin or the neighborhood in which they live, you are wrong.

If you think it is okay to take away the land and culture of an entire tribe in the name of profit, you are wrong.

If you think that it’s acceptable to spit at, hurl insults toward, or even commit acts of violence against someone because they are gay, lesbian, bi, or transgendered, you are wrong.

If you think that people who profess a religion different from yours should be barred, banned, or given a different set of rules, you are wrong.

These are the sins that justify the protests in Charlotte. These are the sins that have thousands camping and protesting at Standing Rock Sioux Reservation. These are the sins that, if allowed to linger in the shadows, will most certainly become the justification for an uprising of marginalized people who just aren’t going to take our horseshit anymore.

Maybe we should step out of the shadows, confess our sins somewhere other than a fucking closet, and change the situation. Don’t wait for anyone else. We must be our own leaders.

End this nonsense now.

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Current Issues  /  Photography  /  PotD
Photography Creates Our Vision Of The World
September 21, 2016

You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand. —Woodrow Wilson

 

charles i. letbetter - photography creates the vision of the world

As more people simply scan articles rather than read, photographs are more important in creating the vision through which people see the world

I never thought I’d have reason to use this picture. It was taken in 2005 as Indianapolis Police were conducting what I would consider an illegal search of my assistant’s car. The entire stop was illegal, but we were standing downtown, at 2:00 in the morning, across from City Hall, with my camera on a tripod. The officer felt like that was sufficient reason to create a scene. I never had any reason to use the photo, though, because, after 30 minutes, he let us go. Never mind the fact that the conceal carry permit for the gun my assistant was carrying had expired. We were all white. They let us go.

This morning, I was up at 2:00 AM again, this time getting ready for the first fashion show in Milan. As I sit at my computer, this is the first picture I see:

Police are in riot gear because, at 2:00 AM, Charlotte, North Carolina is rioting. Charlotte, Noth Carolina is rioting because police saw fit to murder a man who was sitting in his car, waiting on his daughter’s bus. You may have difficulty remembering the name Keith Lamont Scott, but you will remember this photograph.

Photographs don’t change our vision, they create it

That photograph spurred some type  of response in you just now. All the photographs surrounding this murder as well as that of Terence Crutcher in Tulsa, Oklahoma, are all you have in establishing your vision of what happened. By the way, we checked and credit for the picture above goes to Adam Rhew at Charlotte magazine. You may not remember Rhew’s name, but you’ll remember his photograph. You may not remember Terrence Crutcher’s name, but you’ll remember that police helicopter photo of him standing in the middle of the road, unarmed and with his hands above his head when he was murdered.

Remember this picture?

charles i. letbetter - photographs create our vision of the world

Regardless of how you feel about the subject itself, it was the photograph, a still taken from live video feed, that created your vision. This is how you see any number of related topics, from the right to protest, to patriotism, to racism, to football, and any other number of topics that one might choose to associate with the image. Had you not seen this picture, or one similar to it (there are multiple different crops floating around), you would have a concept of the issue, but you wouldn’t have a vision in your mind of how that concept looks.

Our vision, how we see the world, is immensely important. There is very little that we actually get to experience up close and in person. With a lot of news, we don’t want to be up close and in person. If photographers were not present, capturing these issues, giving us a vision where we otherwise would have none, our opinions and responses to these situations might likely be very different. Photographs give us eyes, though, and once we’ve seen pictures like this, we can’t un-see them.

Some Prefer To Be Blind

Strangely enough, not everyone likes having such vision thrust upon them; they’d  rather stay blind. When we see pictures like these, we are put in the position of having to create an opinion, take a side, maybe even take a stand. Not everyone is comfortable having to do those things.

Plenty of people prefer that you not have any vision or opinion. The Republican nominee for President became rather upset last week when there was photographic evidence of a supporter punching a woman in the face. The matter was easy enough to deny, sweep under the covers, until video popped up of the assault actually happening. Pictures kept the crime from going away and demanded that the nominee respond. He wasn’t happy and more than once during his campaign he has been disparaging against photographers.

He’s not the only one, though. Around the world, leaders would rather we not take pictures of people starving, living in squalid conditions, existing in sub-par refugee camps, homeless on the street, long lines of unemployed. Politicians prefer the Chamber of Commerce photos that show everything bright, cheery, and perfect for your next visit. They would rather no one see the downside, the number of homicides so far this year, deteriorating road conditions, urban blight, or suburban decay.

Yet, pictures that show what no one likes to see are the photographs that motivate change. With a clear vision, we see what needs to be improved, what and who needs to be replaced, and just maybe how our own attitudes need to change. If photographers are not out there taking those pictures, who knows that there is a problem? Words can only convey so much at their best, and in today’s society, fewer people are actually reading those words. We scan headlines and look at pictures.

Creating A Balanced Vision

Photographers have a lot of power when it comes to creating a vision. We decide where we’re going to be and when we’re going to snap the shutter. If we choose to look away, if we don’t take a picture of a crime being committed, then we are complicit in the very act itself. We have a responsibility to take those shots when we see them.

At the same time, however, we have a responsibility to show more than one side of a situation whenever possible. Creating a false vision is reprehensible and does greater harm than if we’d taken no photograph at all. For all the legitimate reasons there are to photograph protests against police, if that’s the only view of law enforcement we provide we fuel anarchy and greater unrest. We have to find the balance, look for the good, and give it at least an opportunity to make a difference.  Pictures of good can be just as powerful as pictures of the bad, but we have to put just as much effort into getting those shots as we do those of unrest.

Our job as photographers is not to be apologists for anyone. Our job is to photograph the truth. All of it. Even the portions we find distasteful, even those elements with which we disagree. We do more than provide a record for future generations. We provide this generation with a vision. The job of the photographer is to make sure that vision is accurate.

And shame on those of us who sit on the sidelines and do nothing.

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Fashion
Can Indiana Handle Sexy Fashion?
September 13, 2016
charles i. letbetter - is indiana ready for sexy fashion

Fashion is here to help make people look very important. If they have good taste and choose what suits them, I give them options on how they can do that. It’s always sexy, and it’s always with the same result: making women look fantastic. —Vivienne Westwood

 

charles i. letbetter - Is Indiana Ready for Sexy Fashion

We’re seeing a lot of sexy looks on the New York runways, but will they work in the Midwest and, if one dares, what are the social ramifications?

New York fashion is different from what we see in the other three fashion capitals, London, Milan, and Paris. Fashion here doesn’t have 150-year-old brands with house aesthetics that can’t be breached. New York fashion tends to run more current, more realistic, more “street,” and more accessible. Yes, we have some designers who make lovely red-carpet gowns. We also have a handful that are very experimental. For the most part, though, New York designers like to keep it real with collections that run from casual daywear to luxurious eveningwear with something for just about everyone.

That “something for everyone” approach may have gotten American fashion into trouble, though. A recent article in Fast Company explores how major American brands such as Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren have lost their luster. Speculation in the article runs along the lines that the labels spread themselves too thin, discounted too much. In trying to be everything to everyone, they risk becoming nothing.

Business of Fashion questions whether Tommy Hilfiger’s partnership with model Gigi Hadid was enough to revive a brand that’s no longer cool. Meanwhile, Ralph Lauren announced this morning they’re moving to the popular see-now, buy-now concept. What we’re actually seeing on the runway, though, is that New York brands are being much sexier.

Mentioning The Unmentionables

I’ve mentioned multiple times this past week in our reviews on Pattern that we’re seeing a lot of bras on the runway this season. While that’s not too unusual for brands such as Desigual, and certainly understandable for labels such as Chromat, we’re not as accustomed to seeing them from designers such as Jill Stuart, Altuzarra, and Jason Wu. Victoria Beckham even designed her entire collection around the bra concept.

Then, we’re seeing a lot more sheer this season. Sheer has been a normal part of European design for several seasons. American designers have tended to stay away, though, because many community decency laws would prohibit them being worn without a camisole or something else underneath. However, as I’m typing this, I just finished watching a Very Wang show in which half the collection was sheer, and not necessarily in the most modest of ways. We’ve seen a tremendous amount more sheer this season than ever before.

Some are blaming the exhibitionism encouraged by photo-sharing sites such as Instagram. While almost all the sites prohibit outright nudity, the closer one gets to exposing everything the more one’s list of followers increases. More followers mean more sponsorships so seeing models in their underwear is a relatively normal occurrence. Fashion designers would seem to be merely following that trend and taking the look to the street. The question is, are the streets ready for the look?

Will It Play In Indy?

With all these new, sexy looks dominating the runways, the question becomes one of whether Indiana women are interested in wearing these clothes, will they be able to find them in local stores, and if they do, what are the social and legal implications? Here’s where I would like to start a serious dialog because, quite honestly, I’m not sure of the answers. I would like to think that people can wear whatever they want and not have to worry about it. We all know that’s not the reality of the situation, though.

I do know that some buyers for local department stores stay away from current season clothing in part to give people here some time to become comfortable with what is being worn on the coast. As they see their favorite celebrities dressing a certain way, Midwestern shoppers then become more interested in mimicking those styles. However, that process takes a while, As a result, some stores routinely stock fashion that is off by a season or two. Not everyone is that way, though. Fast fashion stores such as H&M are more likely to duplicate whatever is selling best on the two coasts.

The  Midwest has a well-deserved reputation for dressing more conservatively. Even as people see their favorite celebrities dress certain ways, is that enough to convince people to cross social barriers that have existed for generations? Are women okay with wearing a light jacket open with nothing under it but a bra? Or consider the low-plunging hoodies shown at DKNY. Are local gyms likely to be tolerant of women wearing sports gear that is intentionally sexy? There are a lot of open questions that probably need to be answered.

Let’s Start Talking

These are almost all spring/summer looks that are doing the boundary pushing. Designers doing current season are keeping people bundled up so the issues are not too pressing. We have time to talk. I would love to see Indianapolis be a safe place for people to wear anything, anytime. For that to happen, though, we all need to be talking with each other. Perhaps Polina can help us start a conversation with city officials so everyone is clear on exactly what is legal without getting into trouble. I also wouldn’t mind seeing a conversation between shop owners and store buyers as to what their criteria might be for stocking new fashion this next spring.

There is a lot of really great fashion coming up for this spring/summer. Why should those opportunities be limited only to those who live on either coast? And as Indianapolis continues to draw ever-growing numbers of people here for conventions and trade shows, we increase the likelihood that people visiting will have some of these more forward-thinking styles in their suitcases. How will the city respond to them?

Watching fashion shows is a lot of fun, but ultimately I want to see people actually wearing some version of what I see on the runway. Are you ready Indy? Here comes the sexiest fashion we’ve seen!

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Fashion  /  Fashion Review  /  PotD
Looking At NYFW From Indiana
September 7, 2016

Indiana has had a great influence on fashion. People here care about style but they’re not too quick to adopt everything New York throws at them.

 

charles i. letbetter - looking at NYFW from Indiana

Designer Marlene Thomas with models Katherine Gulling (left) and Emily Miedema backstage prior to the 2012 IFT event. Her Marlene H Couture collection hits the NYFW runway Thursday at noon.

I was still sitting in front of the computer yesterday morning when something came across my Facebook newsfeed that made me smile. Not a meme nor a picture from the past, it was a status update from designer Marlene Thomas, leaving Fort Wayne for New York. For a brief moment, I almost wished that I was going to New York as well. Watching NYFW from Indiana has some challenges that are often frustrating, especially this season when the spectacle has ramped up a bit. If I don’t stop to think about the chaos and confusion that is hitting Manhattan this morning, I’m tempted to actually miss being there.

Then, I come to my senses. While being at NYFW and the other big four fashion weeks was exciting enough back when I was 30, today it would be exhausting and perhaps even a bit torturous. All the walking. All the security checks. You can take your camera here but you can’t take it there. Where’s my town car? Nevermind, I’ll take the subway. How am I supposed to get across town in 15 minutes? The pastries before that last show aren’t setting well with my stomach.

There are advantages to staying in Indiana and watching NYFW from here. The Internet makes a lot of things possible that we couldn’t have dreamed twenty-five years ago. Still, if you’re going to do this with me, there are some things you really need to know before we start. Pay attention.

Hashtags Are Everything

Want to know what’s really going on and what’s really hot? Watch the hashtags for changing trends. Almost every designer, at least those whose PR teams are on top of things, has their own hashtag for their show. When a hashtag takes off and starts trending we have our first clue that the brand has achieved a level of popularity and is worth watching. That’s not to say that less-popular brands with less-popular hashtags should be dismissed, but the power of the hashtag has become a dominant part of fashion PR.

Sitting here in Indiana, we don’t feel the power of the hashtag quite so much. In fact, there are still a lot of people in Indiana, especially those of us over 40, who don’t really understand the whole hashtag thing and how it works. For those whose minds still think old-school, a hashtag is like a brightly colored marker stuck in the middle of a card catalog. In a mind-numbing sea of excess information, hashtags not only allow us to find specific information faster, but to group information quickly on a given topic by searching for that hashtag. The more people use your hashtag, the more markers are placed in that sea of information.

Business of Fashion even ran an op-ed piece yesterday declaring that fashion has hashtag cults. Calling the obsession with hashtags a cult might be a bit over-the-top, but the basic premise of the article is correct: hashtags are everything in fashion and the only way to keep up-to-the-moment the next four weeks is to follow those hashtags religiously.

Start Your Social Media Engines

I am not sure how we ever surfed the Internet in the days before browsers allowed users to have multiple tabs open. I’m sitting here with 14 of them open now and I haven’t even started pulling up all the social media sites I know I’m going to need to get through the day. In addition to social media, there are a plethora of fashion magazines and blogs that are worth watching this week more than normal. I try to keep them sorted from left to right across my monitor in order of relevance. Sometimes that approach almost works.

Following the schedule on NYFW.com is the logical starting point. Be very much aware, however, that the listing there is incomplete and only contains the presentations showing at official NYFW venues. If you want a more complete listing, you’ll want to take a look at Fashion Week Online. Even that list doesn’t have everything, though, and times are definitely subject to change. For example, Marc Jacobs is still listed as showing at 6:00 PM, which is his traditional timeslot. He’s not. He’s moved his show up to  2:00 PM.  Be careful and double check the designer’s website and/or social media feeds.

Speaking of social media, you need them all. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat are must-haves. If you don’t have accounts on all four, get busy. You’ll have to follow your favorite designers on every platform possible. There’s no way to know which designer is going to favor a specific platform. Set alerts for the designers you care about and keep everything open.

The Indiana Connection

Anyone can show in New York who has the money to pull off a show. Each season, I have someone contact me who is all excited about their show in New York. I go to check the official schedule, though, and they’re not present. Sorry, kids, if you’re not on the office NYFW schedule it doesn’t count.

This season is different, though. I was excited when I got the message from Indiana-based designer Marlene Thomas that her Marlene H Couture collection is on the schedule for Thursday at noon. Okay, so that puts her up against Creatures of the Wind which is a favorite of the fashion editors. Still, she’s actually there and she’s in a prime spot on the first day’s schedule! How incredibly awesome is that? Marlene is showing at 404 NYC, conveniently located at 404 10th Ave. The space is fantastic and I’ve no doubt she’ll fill it wonderfully.

In addition to Ms. Thomas’ presence in New York, Indianapolis-based LModelz is sending at least six models (possibly more) to walk in various shows. Of course, models don’t wear signs telling us where they’re from and by the time they get through hair and makeup it can be difficult to tell who’s who. Still, we should be proud that Indiana is so very well represented at NYFW this season!

All The Reviews

Watching all the shows is impossible. Catching all the streams and Instagram feeds is impossible. Even major magazines who can deploy multiple staff members don’t manage to cover everything. That’s why we write reviews. We cull through all the clutter and do our best to cover the shows that matter. For the sixth season, we’ll be posting all our reviews on Pattern at least twice a day, more if I can manage the time. No, it’s not real time, especially when we move away from New York and are trying to cover shows at 2:00 in the morning. We are expecting some incredible shows over the next four weeks and do our best to catch all the important moments.

Let’s be honest, Indiana is never going to be a fashion capital. Fashion doesn’t need nor want any more capitals. Indiana is a strong fashion participant, though, and there are a lot of people here who are eye-ball deep in the stuff. Therefore, it makes sense to give NYFW an Indiana perspective. We’ve made a lot of progress here in the past ten or so years. I think there are probably a half-dozen or so designers who have what it takes to follow Marlene’s lead and jump onto the official schedule. I see more people actually paying attention to what they’re wearing.

Watching NYFW from Indiana isn’t the same as being there in person, but it does have its perks. Grab a cup of coffee and a piece of sugar cream pie and follow along. Oh, and should you happen to want to send over a dozen donuts or so, I won’t complain.

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Art  /  Fashion  /  Nature  /  Photography  /  PotD
Celebrating World Photo Day 2016
August 19, 2016
charles i. letbetter - world photo day 2016

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. —Erma Bombeck

 

charles i. letbetter - world photo day 2016

Today we celebrate the joy of taking a photo, of preserving a memory, of telling a story

Welcome to World Photo Day 2016! This is a day in which we’re going to play along nicely and pretend that the organization behind this day isn’t just trying to sell their book. We like this day because it celebrates something we feel rather passionate about: photography! I mean, who doesn’t like it when someone captures a good photo of you? Granted, for some people that is excessively more difficult than for others. I will also admit that there are times, even when the photography is good, we don’t especially like how we look. I mean, that whole passport photo quote above is way too accurate.

Still, we like to celebrate World Photo Day. Mind you, we don’t celebrate because this was the day photography was invented. The date was determined based on the Daguerreotype, which showed up in 1837. Even that wasn’t really the first photo process. The first fixed-image process was the Heliotype in 1826. What this date actually celebrates, though, is your access to photography. The French government purchased the rights to the Daguerreotype on this date in 1839 and made them open to the public. This allowed for further development of the camera so that you can take selfies with your phone.

Photography has come a long way since 1839. Photography will go a lot farther. This has never been a static industry. Change is constant as someone is continually trying to find a way to take a better, more real photo. Every time someone snaps a shutter, they capture both a moment in time and a moment in photographic history.

The Joy Of A Photo

I’ve taken hundreds of thousands of photographs over the years. From the first time until today, I still get excited when I look at the finished product and find that I have captured something special. Of course, there are times when I’m the only one who thinks a particular image is special, but many of them hold a lot of meaning.

Your pictures are the same way. Sometimes the pictures we hold most dear are those that are not technically stellar. It’s that picture of someone special, or that moment that gave you an incredible feeling, or the last time you saw the person who gave you life. Photographs tell our life’s story. They mark the moments of highs and lows. They remind us that we’re human.

So, we’ve chosen a group of photos for today that spans a range of events and emotions worth remembering for different reasons. Some pictures were chosen not because of the photo itself but because of the people involved behind the scenes. Danelle French did make up for some really great make-up on several. Some are special because of where they were taken. And several are of Kat. That’s a good excuse on its own.

We’ll take more pictures. It’s not always convenient or easy, but we keep going. Some we share. Many we don’t.  What follows is a mix of both. And if you want us to take your photos, just ask!

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PotD  /  Published
Bridges That We Need To Cross
August 7, 2016
charles i. letbetter - bridges we need to cross

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. —Nikita Khrushchev

 

charles i. letbetter - bridges that need crossing

There are many bridges we must cross and sometimes the biggest decision is how to cross them

“Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now or later?”

My thoughts had already catapulted me off into distant lands so I did not immediately grasp the question, prompting its repeat.

“Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now?”

White grocery bags held together in her left hand give her the appearance of possibly being homeless, the glassy sheen to her eyes and her otherwise kept attire indicated a greater probability that at least her body had a home, even if her mind and soul had been dismissed by whatever pharmaceutical cocktail forced her to wander the near lifeless streets of Elgin.

At least she was smiling.

When she repeated the question I mumbled a hasty, “Not today, thank you,” as though I might give her offer more lengthy consideration on some later date. I looked over the crumbling concrete railing at the sludge-brown water of whatever river smirked slowly below. What would she have done had I responded with an enthusiastic, “Sure, you toss me then I’ll toss you!”  Internally, some small wrinkle in my brain chuckled at the potential hilarity while the remaining neurons fired away at all the instructions necessary to keep one’s body propelled forward.

Thinking About Bridges

Having time to think opens precarious doors. One’s initial thoughts focus on the inherently obvious and can entertain a logical analysis of known factors. Given sufficient time for processing, though, the mind eventually begins substituting the illogical in place of the logical. Unknown elements replace known factors and before long one inevitably tumbles headlong into conjecture and the impossible world of “what if.” Within such ambiguous territory, fears enjoy free reign, popping up in every concept until they leak past the world of the unknown to pollute the world of the known. Suddenly, nothing seems quite so certain anymore.

Except, there’s still that bridge and it’s potentially life changing offer.

Ever stop to think about bridges? They are fundamental to transportation, or any manner of transition. Bridges represent a desire to leave one place, one existence, one ideal, in favor of another, the two being separated by some form of chasm which cannot otherwise be traversed.

Look carefully at the construction of a bridge and one finds the very structure itself is the definition of change. Such was true even of ancient bridges; on either side of a ravine may be roads or paths of sod, yet the bridge itself must be made of a different material, usually wood or stone. Modern spans of asphalt spread on beds of gravel are bridged by delicately poured concrete under-girded with steel. Engineers would never consider building an entire road from the same material, using the same methods as bridges; the expense alone makes such an idea impractical. As a result, it is almost impossible to cross a bridge that does not invoke change.

What’s On The Other Side

Often, one sets focus solely on whatever lies on the other side of the bridge. After all, whatever exists over there is the reason we cross the bridge in the first place. Yet, what too often catches us by surprise is the change invoked by the bridge itself; a change wholly unlike what waits on the other side.

And in that consideration, that change requires pre-change, the question of a seemingly mentally challenged pedestrian takes on a whole new meaning. “Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now or later?”

Here find both cause and solution to failure; it is not that one does not want or fears the change on the other side; but that we are unprepared for the intermediate change of the bridge and, caught up in the panic of the unexpected, we either jump or allow some random crazy person to toss us over. As a result, we end up soaked by the muddy waters of despair, never achieving the change we so ardently desire.

What we fail to realize is that what we experience on the bridge is necessary preparation for what we find on the other side. Bridges are designed to get us there, not stop us in the process. We need what bridges offer.

Lessons From Disney

Granted, some bridges have the innate ability to invoke fear.

In the Disney movie “Shrek,” the ogre and Donkey arrive at the dragon’s castle to find they must cross a less-than-secure looking bridge below which flows a stream of fiery molten lava. Donkey is immediately concerned and, half-way across, is ready to turn around and go back, willing to leave the princess for someone else to rescue. Shrek proceeds to employ distraction tactics and before Donkey realizes what is happening, they both are safely across the bridge.

And what distraction did the giant green ogre use to get donkey across the bridge? The threat of being flung over the side!

Two matters are worth noting in that story. First, it was Donkey’s over-thinking the safety of the bridge that allowed room for the fear to engulf him. Had he simply walked cautiously across the structure he would not have encountered any problem. Second, when paralyzed by fear, we sometimes need the help of a friend threatening to send us over the side before we can get across.

“Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now or later?”

Back In The Real World

Outside the Adams street entrance to Chicago’s Union Station, an older man, his back hunched from the reality of a life lived, sits on a bench and removes from his shirt pocket a pack of Marlboro Lights. His old hands trembling, he removes a cigarette from the pack and lights it. Not a scenario that sounds too terribly unusual, especially given that almost every other bench in the area is occupied by someone else doing exactly the same thing.

What makes this gentleman unique is that, prior to fishing the pack of cigarettes from his pocket, he had to first remove and shut off the oxygen tube from his nose. Every drag on the cigarette was obviously painful and labored. More than once the man winced as he struggled to draw the nicotine down into what little remains of his lungs. When finished, he replaced the tube in his nostrils, turned on the portable oxygen tank strapped to his back, and resumed a more relaxed and comfortable breathing rhythm.

Talk about addictions all you want, ultimately the man couldn’t, wouldn’t, cross the bridge. Crossing the bridge, for him, means putting down the cigarettes and he has made the decision that suffering is preferable to crossing the uncertain path leading to quitting.

Don’t Burn It Yet

We may find it easy to criticize the old man for making such a self-destructing choice, but how often are we guilty of making choices of equal fatality to our careers, our families, our well-being, our happiness, all because there is some bridge, some challenge, some fear that we must first conquer before we can reach our goal?

No significant change happens without some manner of transition. If there were no canyons between the status quo and progress, we might well slide between one state of being and the next without realizing any chance had occurred at all. Yet, it is those muddy rivers, those gullies, the ravines and ditches, that create boundaries, territory markers, and we simply cannot move from one existence to the next without crossing some manner of bridge.

Many of life’s bridges we zip across without care or worry, scarcely even noticing that the ground beneath us has changed. However, as we cross some of the most meaningful bridges of our lives we will often be faced with that now lingering question: “Do you want me to throw you over the bridge now or later?

Perhaps the old woman wasn’t so crazy after all. Something tells me she knows the answer to that question better than any of us.

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Just For Fun  /  PotD
Over-The-Top Burger
July 20, 2016
charles i. letbetter - over-the-top burger

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars. —Charles Kuralt

 

charles i. letbetter - over-the-top burger

America is on a constant quest for the best burger and it’s a challenge never satisfied

I am not a foodie. I think we’ve established that by now. The last time I made a comment about local restaurants I was vilified for having a contrary opinion. However, if there’s one thing that gets my attention it’s a good burger. I love them. When Esquire magazine included Indianapolis’ Bru Burger Bar on its list of best burgers in each state, it didn’t leave me with any real choice but to chime in.

The danger here is that there is no such thing as the perfect burger. Americans are as divided on burger contents as they are on presidential candidates, perhaps more so. One can’t eat a presidential candidate with a side of fries and feel satisfied. Everyone has their own opinion as to what constitutes a good burger. Everyone thinks that their opinion is best. As a result, there will never be any large-scale agreement as to what makes the best burger. Don’t even go there.

What we can do, though, is take a look at what makes a good burger. Let’s consider the universal elements for a decent burger and what we expect when we walk into a burger joint anywhere in the country. Eating is fun, but sometimes creating them is more joy.

What The List Said

The same list that included Indy’s Bru also included a lot of other great burgers. While almost all of them made my mouth water, here are a few that sound especially wonderful:

  • Kula burger at Stewz Maui Burgers, Hawaii. Sitting on top of locally-sourced beef, this burger makes me hungry with avocados, red onion, a shmear of slow-roasted garlic, slow-roasted Poblano, Monterrey jack cheese, and house-exclusive chipotle lime aioli. Such a wonderful mix of flavors, possibly served somewhere within decent proximity of a beach (I can only hope), makes my stomach rumble at the thought.
  • Seward’s Folly, West Rib Pub & Grill, Talkeetna, Alaska. It’s going to take someone with a helluva lot more stomach space than what I have to even think about eating this burger. Five pounds of food in one setting is insane.  However, the ingredient list has me licking my chops. Caribou, ham, bacon, unhealthy amounts of cheese, lettuce, grilled onions, and proprietary “Fat Ass” sauce. You’ll want your cardiologist on speed dial if you actually try this burger, but the contents in smaller quantity would be wonderful.
  • Bubba Burger at Doc Crow’s, Louisville. This one’s within driving distance and we’re through Louisville every once in a while, so I may have to put this on our list. In addition to ground beef, there’s pulled pork, beef brisket, onion rings, coleslaw, fried green tomato, and a fried egg. While I’m a little concerned about how messy a fried egg can be, the combination of flavors make for serious gastronomical excitement.
  • Dublin Burger, The Barley House, Concord, New Hampshire. They had me at peppercorn-charred. Then they had the nerve to make me drool publicly by adding whiskey gravy, creamy bleu cheese, and crispy onion rings. If I can talk them into serving that with roasted potatoes and Johnnie Walker Black Label I might just die and go to heaven, or Nirvana, or some other form of cheeseburger paradise.

There are a lot of really tempting flavor combinations throughout the list. I feel for anyone who had to try them all.

What Makes A Great Burger

Again, being extremely subjective here, it seems there are some basic components to making a burger worth the inevitable heartburn and bloatedness. While anything is potentially a candidate for a burger topping, some combinations just worked better than others. If resources are readily available and budget isn’t a hindrance, here’s what I think makes a really good burger.

  • Quality meet. Start with really nice ground sirloin, around 80% lean. If the option is available too me, I like going in and selecting the cut of meat and having it ground fresh. Ground beef that has sat around for a few days just doesn’t have the same flavor. Something I like but didn’t see on Esquire’s list is mixing other ground meats, such as sage pork sausage and lamb. The enhanced flavors really make a burger take great before adding toppings.
  • Onions. Raw, grilled, sauteed, caramelized, or in deep-fried rings, every good burger needs onions. If you’re worried about your breath, bring a mint.
  • Flavorful cheese. There’s nothing wrong with putting a strong, sharp cheddar on a burger but I get excited when I see a combination of cheeses that include bleu, Gruyère, Havarti, Monterey Jack, or Muenster.
  • Creative sauces. I am not a big fan of the standard ketchup, mustard, and mayo combination. They leave a burger sloppy and mask the other tastes. I like original sauces, especially those that might include a touch of meat dripping, just a touch of something vinegary, and a hint of sweetness. There should be just enough to  provide moisture for the other toppings, but not enough to overwhelm.

From there, take the burger wherever you want. The possibilities are limited only by one’s imagination.

A Sad Irony

What really sucks about all this burger talk is that no matter how they’re prepared, I know they’re going to make me ill. I have my mother’s genes to thank for that. For the moment, I’m able to suck it up and endure the inevitable pain. I really like a good burger. However, I know that as I get older the day will eventually come when I have to give up this basic comfort food I love so much. I’ve tried replacing ground beef entirely, but the taste just isn’t the same. I’m screwed.

Still, there are times when burgers are worth whatever challenges and difficulties they might present. Burgers with friends are some of the best times anyone can have. Burgers are even good when they’re not quite as perfect as you might have hoped. Just the fact that you’re having a burger is enough of a reason to be happy.

Hopefully this little discourse doestn’t offend anyone. If it does, my recommendation is that you go have a burger and smile through the rest of your day. Nothing could be better.

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Advertising  /  Photography
Why Photographers Are Not Full-Time
June 29, 2016
charles i. letbetter - why photographers aren't full-time

As long as I can still be on my own and do my own thing and be working full-time, it’s great. —Marian McPartland

 

charles i. letbetter - why photographers are not full-time

Many photographers want to work full time. What stops them, though, is more than just attitude

I was one of the lucky ones. For almost 20 years, I was paid exclusively for being a full-time photographer. I was fortunate to have an exciting job, in exciting locations, with expenses paid, insurance, vacation, and a 401k. I was one of the few.

One can work full time at being freelance as well, but the pay is rarely equivalent to a full-time salary and the benefits are almost never present. Making it as a photographer in today’s world is hard work and, to a large extent, the reasons most of us need at least a part-time job escape most people. Running your own business is never easy work, no matter what field one is in. For photographers, though, the challenges are frequently insurmountable.

I came across this article on LinkedIn earlier this week with the headline, “Why Most Photographers Don’t Work Full Time.” The author is Jenna Johnson, a “community manager” at ZenPhotos.com. I was hopeful the article might have some real insight as to the problems facing freelancers. I was disappointed. Instead of a constructive, real-world look at the photography business, all Ms. Johnson presented was a bunch of emotionally-driven, change-your-attitude claptrap that offers no substantive advice at all.

Full Time Is More Like Overtime

Sure, we would all like to be employed full-time as I once was, but the number of those jobs still in existence has dwindled dramatically over the past 15 years. Many companies find that utilizing freelance talent plays better on their bottom line. They don’t have to pay benefits, cover HR costs, or even pay social security in most cases. Companies also take advantage of the fact that many photographers undersell their services and quote rates considerably lower than what the company would pay a full-time employee.

Freelancing as a photographer means doing much more than just taking and editing pictures. When we work for ourselves, we become our own HR department. We have to take care of our own insurance, our own business expenses, our own social security, and even our own equipment. We also have to do our own marketing, branding, and advertising. This is no easy job by any stretch of the imagination.

Add up all the time I spend doing market research, meeting with potential clients, marketing, handling social media, adding content (such as this article) to our website, and maintaining equipment and I can fill a 60-hour week without ever picking up a camera. I’m sorry, but a lack of confidence, treating it as a hobby, and impostor syndrome don’t even begin to factor into the challenges most photographers face.

The Real Reasons

The reasons for not being full time are draped in a reality that challenges every small business owner. We’ll keep the list brief.

  • Lack of start-up capital. Being a photographer is expensive even if one is working out of their home. If one is going to be full time, however, there are numerous additional expenses that must be addressed before hanging out one’s shingle. Everything costs money and finding that money keeps most photographers from ever making the leap to full time.
  • Lack of committed professional facilities. If one wants to work full-time without working themselves into complete exhaustion one needs their own studio. Cooperative studios with multiple photographers are often the best option, but without committed space larger clients such as ad agencies and real magazines have difficult taking a photographer seriously.
  • Failure to understand the market. I love shooting nudes and have, on occasion, even sold a few. However, there is no realistic way, sitting here in Indiana, that I am going to earn a full-time income from that market. Every market is different and has its niches, but not every market plays well in every location.
  • Not understanding the difference between marketing and branding. There are a lot of articles on marketing one’s photography business. Information that really understands branding a photography business is far less. Most photographers blow it on branding. I’ll have to write more about this later.
  • Being in the wrong place.  If one wants to be a full-time photographer, one has to be where there are full-time clients or at least be able to reach them efficiently.  Being full time in Red Oak, Oklahoma is much more challenging than being full time in Atlanta, Georgia. If the opportunity is not there, one might need to move.
  • Lack of business skills. Being a good photographer doesn’t make one a good business person. Tax and other business laws are serious and you have to do those things yourself or hire someone to do them, which is expensive.

Honest Assessment

Photographers tend to have strong egos and are not necessarily open to criticism. Many of us share those traits. Unfortunately, if one is going to succeed as a full-time photographer, we need an honest assessment of all our skills, not just photography. One can be a fantastic photographer and still fail miserably at running a photography business.

Sure, attitude is an important part of one’s success, but that’s true of owning any business. Encouraging someone to quit their day job and become a full-time photographer is irresponsible if we’re not looking at the real barriers to entry. Being full-time just doesn’t work for many people and as photography itself becomes more commoditized that opportunity shrinks even more.

We all  would love to do nothing but take pictures all day. Unfortunately, that situation exists for only a handful of people. There is much more that goes into being a full-time photographer. Consider all the variables before striking out on your own. Good luck.

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Current Issues  /  Mythology  /  PotD
Peace Eludes Us For A Reason
June 27, 2016
charles i. letbetter - peace eludes us for a reason

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. —Mahatma Gandhi

 

charels i. letbetter - peace eludes us for a reason

Our desire for peace is stymied by the road blocks we forcefully push into the path.

Peace is possible. I have no problems with that concept. We can live in harmony with one another, be happy together, and live more fruitful lives. We’ve known this my entire life and we know exactly how to get there.  So why does peace elude us? Why do we seem to careen from  one conflict to the next?

For billions of people, the path to peace lies within their religion, their belief system, and that should work. With as many people who believe on some level, one might expect that peace would be inevitable. Unfortunately, in too many cases, it is the leaders of those religions who toss up roadblocks. When religious leaders spew hate, when pastors stand on pulpits (literally) and claim that their deity should strike dead all LGBT people, or support a bigoted, xenophobic, homophobic candidate for president, they put hate in the way of our path to peace.

Not that we need their help. We  provide enough roadblocks on our own. Our continued quest for power and dominance over other people, or even our own lives, creates canyons that become impossible for us to cross. Our inability to give up our desire for things, our desire for external pleasures, our insistence on being the best at any and all costs, make finding peace impossible.

Some Get It Right

Not everyone is quite so removed from peace. There are a couple of people who stepped forward over the weekend and offered, once again, to illuminate the path to peace for us. Interestingly enough, both are the top religious figures within their extended belief systems. They differ on a great number of details, but they both know the way to find peace.

Pope Francis was aboard a flight to Rome from Armenia, talking with reporters, when he made a statement that shocked many but lit a candle of awareness for many more believers. He said:

 I believe that the Church not only should apologize to the person who is gay whom it has offended but has to apologize to the poor, to exploited women, to children exploited for labor; it has to ask forgiveness for having blessed many weapons. The Church must say it is sorry for not having behaved as it should many times, many times — when I say ‘the Church,’ I mean we Christians because the Church is holy; we are the sinners. We Christians must say we are sorry.

The Catholic church has traditionally been slow to apologize for anything. What Pope Francis instructs believers to do, however, is cleansing. Making amends for wrongs of the past clears away many of the roadblocks that prevent us from moving forward. He sets an example for people to follow not only in asking forgiveness but effectually stating that actions the church has  taken toward LGBT people, the poor, women, exploited children, and its stance on weapons are wrong.

Reaching Even Deeper

While the pope’s comments are welcome and refreshing to the ears, they alone are not enough to drive us toward peace. Apologies and asking forgiveness are a good start, but there are more personal issues with which we need to content.

Probably the best use of my time this weekend was watching and listening to His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibetan Buddhism during his visit to Indianapolis. That over 6,400 people were in attendance speaks to how many people are struggling along a path toward ultimate peace and tranquility. The Dalai Lama’s words were often mixed with humor, but his instructions were strong.

“We are all brothers/sisters,” the Dalai Lama said frequently in an address focusing on compassion. He related compassion as the most human of emotions. “Now scientists even say, basic human nature is compassionate. The compassionate feeling toward your enemy, the trouble maker … only we human beings can do that.” He referred to the love a mother has for her child and a child for its mother, instructing that such love breeds compassion that is the source of peace for the world.

Getting There From Here

The Dalai Lama offered many ways we can remove the roadblocks holding us back from achieving peace, both personally and corporately. Among them, were:

  • Stop linking religion to violence and fanaticism. “There is no such thing as Muslim terrorist or Buddhist terrorist,” he said. “There is just terrorists. … Those who commit such acts of violence are insincere in their religion.”
  • Education of the current generation is key. Multiple times the Dalai Lama emphasized that compassion must be part of the curriculum and an emphasis in how we teach children if there is to be any hope of change. He said that it was “too late” to change the hearts and minds of older people, but that the education of children in how to be compassionate could bring a more peaceful world.
  • Everyone has the potential for love and compassion within them.  The Dalai Lama spoke often of a “seed” of love within everyone that holds the potential for compassion and that we must first focus on growing that seed before attempting to take on the world.
  • Action, not prayers, changes the world. The Dalai Lama brushed off the concept that prayers and “releasing pigeons” had anything to do with world peace. Rather, he said, “We created this violence, so we can reduce this violence.”
  • Accept that we are all the same. Again, referring to the world’s population as brothers/sisters, he said, “Sometimes there is too much discrimination on color, on class — rich and poor. This actually (is a) man-made distinction.” He emphasized that we call come from one source. We are all the same.

Knowing Where To Start

Looking across what seems like a minefield of obstruction, one might feel overwhelmed by all that must happen before we can change the world. The starting place should be obvious: start with yourself. There is nothing we do, nothing we say, that is not an extension of who we are and how we feel about ourselves. We must change ourselves before we can change the things outside ourselves.

Maybe, just maybe, religion might work for some. The Dalai Lama said, “All religions carry the same message — love, compassion, things like that. That’s the basis of our harmony.” Understanding, of  course, he is referring to the core tenets of religious belief, not the various bastardizations found in the majority of worship centers.

Others may find that path through meditation, yoga, deliberate focus, conscious awareness of the temporal nature of all things, finding happiness in being.

There is more than one way to get there, but each of those starts with you and I finding that seed of love within us, building that into an immense compassion, and then teaching that first to our children and then to others.

We can achieve the peace that eludes us but we cannot expect it to come from anyone other than ourselves.

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Current Issues  /  Personal  /  Social Commentary
Domestic Violence Intervention
June 15, 2016

This is not love. It is a crime, … You can’t look the other way just because you have not experienced domestic violence with your own flesh. — Salma Hayek

 

charles i. letbetter - domestic violence intervention

When Kat witnessed domestic violence taking place, she stepped in to stop it. Not every response was so helpful.

One thing I’ve learned having US Marines in my life is that they are not passive. When they see a situation that requires immediate attention, they act; it’s in their nature, a part of their training that never leaves.

That response kicked in yesterday while Kat was on her way home. Coming up to the intersection at 30th and Kessler, on the West side of Indianapolis, she found a small car sitting a couple of spaces back from the traffic light, not moving. As she watched, she saw the male passenger grab the female driver by the hair, pull her across to his side of the car, and bang her head against the window. That was all she needed to see.

Kat pulled around in front of the car so it could not easily leave and rescued the woman who was being beaten, removing her from the car to a position of safety outside. As they were calling 911 for help, the male passenger moved to the driver’s seat and stole the car, swerving around Kat and speeding away, leaving the woman stranded.

IMPD was there almost immediately, two female officers well equipped to handle the situation. They took statements from both Kat and the victim. As part of standard procedure, the officers warned Kat that what she did was dangerous, that she should have called 911 rather than stopping. We’ve both heard that line before. The risks are real, but the immediate risk to the woman’s life was greater.

But then …

As the officers were sending Kat on her way, one rather wryly made the statement, “Don’t worry, it’s just drugs and prostitution.”

Kat’s anger seethed. She knew better than to confront the officer right there and came on home. Nothing she could say at that particular moment would help the situation. She knew, though, that the woman wasn’t likely to get the help she needed.

Women across the country were outraged last week when a California judge let a former Stanford swimmer get off on a rape charge with only a six-month sentence, of which he’ll only likely serve three months. The story illustrates just how deeply ingrained the rape and abuse cultures have become in our society. Despite numerous ad campaigns attempting to draw attention to the issue, and even mandatory classes on many college campuses addressing date rape and matters of consent, the justice system itself, and even some in law enforcement still holds to the demeaning and outdated concept that someone’s actions, gender, style of dress, state of sobriety, or occupation naturally leaves them open to and even deserving of domestic violence, abuse, and even workplace violence.

Too often, and for too many years, our society has tolerated the lame excuse, “She was asking for it.” I cannot imagine the mind of any intelligent and critically reasoning person ever believing such a horrendous statement. Who asks to be abused? What person asks to have their hair pulled, their body dragged across a car and their head ferociously beaten against a window? In what insane universe could those actions of violence ever be justified?

Look at the numbers

Domestic violence is one of the most serious issues facing our country, but one which very few want to discuss, and even fewer of us are willing to get involved. Take a look at these statistics:

  • Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
  • Every day in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
  • Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
  • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
  • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

The rate of incidents is appalling and in a country that is serious about stopping the ever-increasing rate of crimes such as mass shootings we should be looking at those with a history of witnessing or being involved in domestic violence as the primary source. If we want a safer America, we first have to start with safer homes, safer relationships, and a justice system that punishes the perpetrator, not the victim.

A little respect, please

As disappointing as the officer’s statement was yesterday, such a lack of respect is not unusual. Kat listened in on the 911 conversation and found the operator dismissive and condescending, as though she didn’t feel the need to take the crime seriously. Others have reported similar 911 experiences where operators either delayed in sending help, or downplayed the severity of the situation.

Let’s get this straight right now: NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED! Prostitutes are not asking for it. Drug addicts are not asking for it. Drunks are not asking for it. Women who dress in short skirts, high heels, or low-cut dresses are not asking for it. Strippers are not asking for it. Female bartenders are not asking for it. Housewives who burn dinner are not asking for it. Children who are loud and noisy are not asking for it. Homeless people are not asking for it. Mentally or emotionally incapacitated people are not asking for it. Elderly people are not asking for it. Those who disagree with you are not asking for it. Those who challenge a presidential candidate are not asking for it.

NO ONE IS ASKING FOR IT!

The woman Kat helped yesterday was almost certainly involved with some form of controlled substance. That does not exclude her, however, from the protection and respect that every human being deserves! Even if the woman is a prostitute, she still does not deserve to be beaten. She deserves respect, she deserves the same help you would want for your own wife or daughter.

We must end this culture where we think that anyone deserves to be treated with violence of any kind. What people deserve is compassion, sympathy, and love.

One More Thing

Before I end, let me say that we know domestic violence takes many forms and that getting away from that violence is often not easy. If you live in Indiana and need help, there is someone you can call:

800.332.7385

The members of the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence (icdavinc.org) will do their best to help you change your situation and find safety. As always, if you feel your life is in immediate danger, call 911.

What Kat did yesterday involves a high level of risk and is not the type of intervention I recommend for most people. Kat is a highly trained and experienced United States Marine. The action she took may have saved a life. We don’t question the quality of that life or judge the woman in any way. She deserves to live free of violence just as much as you or I. We hope she gets all the help she needs.

And thank you, Kat, for being brave enough to intervene. I love you.

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Art  /  Photography  /  PotD
Tossing Kat In The Water
June 15, 2016

Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it. —Lao Tzu

 

charles i. letbetter - tossing Kat in the water

Cats don’t normally like water and Kat isn’t especially fond of it either, but modeling’s supposed to be fun, isn’t it?

I think I mentioned something yesterday about going to McCormick’s Creek State Park and playing in the water. We showed you pictures of the waterfalls, the kids frolicking, and one very cool old man. I know most of you missed those pictures, so you can look at those later by clicking here.

What we showed yesterday wasn’t the only set of pictures we took, though. I was looking through the files last week and noticed that Kat hadn’t been in front of the camera at all this year. Here we are in June and not once have we managed to get her to sit even for a light test. What photographer doesn’t take pictures of his own fiancè? We needed to fix this problem quickly.

So, as we were packing clothes for the kids, I tossed a swimsuit at Kat and suggested, “Why don’t you toss this under your clothes and we can get some pictures of you in the water while we’re there?”

She laughed.

Okay, so maybe the swimsuit was just a little inappropriate and revealing to wear in a place likely populated by children other than our own. Our kids don’t even notice when Kat is looking hot; they’re rather used to that. Other people’s kids, though, might have wondered where the rest of her swimsuit was.

Kat knows how much it means for me to have pictures of her, though. She found an acceptable substitute and off we went.

Most anyone  who has shot outdoors with me knows that I typically carry two non-camera related items in my camera bag: duct tape and petroleum jelly. Uses for the duct tape are innumerable; one never knows when they might need to fix something, fasten something, or patch a hole. The petroleum jelly is a bit more specific, though. I use it not only because it causes water to bead on the skin, but because it acts as an insulator against the cold. For some stupid reason, I left the petroleum jelly sitting on my desk.

Have you ever tried standing in cold water? Have you ever tried looking any way other than horrified as hundreds of gallons of cold water came crashing down onto your head? Have you ever tried to sit on a rock while your entire body is trembling from the cold and attempt to look sexy?

Those are the things I asked Kat to do. The task wouldn’t have been nearly as daunting if I’d brought the petroleum jelly. Kat would have barely noticed the temperature of the water at all. I left the petroleum jelly sitting on my desk, though. There was no protection from the cold.  She did the whole shoot anyway. She gave me a mean look more than a few times but she did them and the resulting pictures are perhaps the strongest set she’s done since we first met.

One of the challenges of shooting in the water like this is that in order to get that silky look to the waterfall, I need a slow shutter speed. A slow shutter speed with a model means that she has to take a pose and not move.   Go ahead and try to not move while standing in cold water, especially after your body is completely wet. Oh, and add a nice breeze on top of that. A bit of wind feels good when you’re warm and dry, not as much when you’re wet and cold. Kat had to call on the discipline instilled by her Marine Corp training to keep getting in that water and holding poses for several seconds at a time, not flinching, until I got the picture I needed.

Have I mentioned that I have an awesome fiancé who loves me very much?

Did you know that waterproof mascara doesn’t necessarily hold when being assaulted by hundreds of gallons of water?

The challenges to this shoot were considerable. Not only was the water cold, but Kat still had to keep an eye on the kids and keep an eye out for anyone who might cause problems and help me avoid falling on the slick rocks. I’ve not even tried standing in water to shoot for the past three years. We had to exercise much more caution than was previously normal.

What ultimately matters, though, are the pictures and I think we captured some great ones, despite the cold water. I like having Kat in front of the camera. Next time, though, I’m bringing the petroleum jelly.

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Nature  /  Photography  /  pop culture
Waterfalls And Sunshine
June 14, 2016

Many a calm river begins as a turbulent waterfalls, yet none hurtles and foams all the way to the sea. —Mikhail Lermontov

 

charles i. letbetter - waterfalls and sunshine

We returned last week to one of my favorite places in Indiana and found it glorious.

For eleven years these waterfalls have haunted my memories.

When I first moved to Indiana and was looking for places to shoot, McCormick’s Creek State Park was one of the first places recommended. I wasn’t expecting too  much in the way of excitement because, after all, this is Indiana; the state’s not exactly well-known for its dramatic topographical variances. When I first experienced the waterfall, though, I was hooked. I bought an annual pass and made the trek down there two, sometimes three times a week. I would arrive at 7:00 AM, right as the gate opened, shoot through the early morning sunlight making its way down the canyon, and be eating breakfast in Bloomington before 10.

Some of the pictures we took here that summer are still among my favorites. Not only are the waterfalls beautiful, but the creek itself meanders softly through the canyon giving home to incredible amounts of wildlife, if one take a moment to explore. Small snails cling to the rocks. Minnows dart back and forth in the shallow waters. Uniquely colored birds fly through the trees. As a photographer, the choices of scenery and background are never-ending. One could shoot here for innumerable days without capturing the same scene twice.

Sadly, after that first summer, my circumstances took a severe change and I wasn’t able to go back. Even when I did have access to a vehicle and sufficient time, I knew I didn’t dare make the trip alone anymore. I’m not as sure-footed at clambering over the rocks as I once was. Excuses were easy enough to find.

Until this past week, that is, when I decided to put excuses aside and take the family on a day trip. We don’t get many chances to wander now that Kat’s in school full-time, but we had an opening and took advantage of it. Even as we packed the water and snacks we would need for the trip, though, I wondered if everything would still be the way I remembered it. Would the stairs down to the waterfalls still be steep? Would the waterfalls still be as broad or would natural erosion have taken a toll? Would the pool below the waterfalls be too deep or too crowded for the kids to enjoy? Would the creek itself be as I remember?

The drive to McCormick’s Creek is only about an hour South of Indianapolis. There are three different totally reasonable routes to take, but I suggest using state highway 67 South through Mooresville, Friendswood, and Paragon. The drive is much more quiet and serene, void of the traffic on Interstate 70 and without the maddening construction on state highway 37. Note: You’ll want to use Google Maps, not Bing, for directions. Bing won’t give you highway 67 as an option.

Since we were taking the kids, we didn’t arrive as early as I might have wanted for my own purposes. Putting kids in the car at 6:00 AM would have created challenges we didn’t need. So, we didn’t arrive until nearly 11:30. The sun was high, which normally makes for horrendous photographs, except that the canyon prevents much direct sunlight from getting through. As the light bounces off the bare limestone, the light is diffused so that there is almost always a good angle for taking pictures.

The kids, of course, loved the waterfalls and were thrilled that we actually let them get into the water (Kat tends to be a bit cautious). Little man tried climbing the falls while Tippy enjoyed sliding down the rocks. While there, we met an old hippy with dreadlocks in both his hair and his beard, a couple with a six-month-old great dane puppy, and plenty of other families out exploring. I have always been pleased that McCormick’s Creek is not one of those places where a constant presence of park rangers is necessary to prevent trouble. People who come here do so to relax, not act like assholes.

Of course, I have pictures and what we’re showing you today is just the first set. I made Kat take a swimsuit and do the model thing, but we’ll save those pictures for tomorrow. These focus more on the kids and the natural surroundings of the waterfalls. Peaceful. Quiet. I processed most in black and white because I feel the look is more dramatic, but I did keep a couple of images in color; one because Kat requested such, and the other because the bright orange of Little Man’s shirt against the dark rock of the waterfalls was too powerful to mute.

We’ll be returning to McCormick’s Creek a couple of times in the next few weeks. One will be with a friend I’ve not seen in a while, and the other will be to camp for the weekend with extended family. Both will give us ample opportunity to explore even more and capture additional pictures and different times of the day.

For now, we hope you enjoy these and that they’ll encourage you to get out, stop making excuses, and resuscitate your imagination with waterfalls and sunshine.

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Love Is Still Alive
June 13, 2016
charles i. letbetter - love is still alive

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. —Marcus Aurelius

 

charles i. letbetter - PRIDE is still alive

What happened in Orlando Sunday morning causes everyone who is LGBT and LGBT Allies to hurt. But PRIDE is still alive and will continue to be proud

We woke up Saturday morning excited about the parade. We drove downtown early to find a parking spot, walked down Mass. Ave. to get our coffee on, then walked back to claim our favorite spot from which to shoot the parade. Sure, it was warm and humid, but that was okay. We were prepared for that. Kat carried water and snacks in her purse. She and the kids sat in the shade and waited and even made some new friends.

We came home, exhausted but happy. The kids faces were red from the sun but they were more excited about the excessively large amount of candy they had received (which will be distributed among more responsible people). I downloaded the pictures, marked the ones that I liked, and enjoyed a nap. It was a good day.

Then, we woke up Sunday to bad news that just kept getting worse. By noon, we were wondering what the fuck was wrong with our country. We felt what all our friends were feeling: hurt, anger, and disbelief when the body count went to 50. How could this happen? Why would this happen?

Next came the realization that the day could have been worse. Los Angeles police received a tip that allowed them to stop someone that, at the time, seemed bent on disrupting the LA Pride parade. With the number of weapons and explosive making materials confiscated, considerable harm might have been done, though the young man’s motives remain unclear.

I offer no explanation nor excuses for to do so is folly. Hate is the bottom line and we can make all the excuses and place the blame a dozen different places but at the end of the day if we don’t address the hate we leave the door open for the same thing to happen again.

How do we address the hate? By showing more love. The LGBT community and their allies are hurting, but Love did not die on the floor at Pulse. LOVE is still alive. Love is not going anywhere. We will take a moment to reflect, to mourn, and to honor the fallen. Then, we will return to the clubs, to the streets, to the parades and we will show everyone that Love is still alive. We are embracing, still armed with acceptance, still ready to celebrate the individuality of every person, no matter how they identify with life.

We who are alive respect those whose lives were lost this weekend by bit letting these events weaken our resolve. Everyone has the right to be who they choose to be and no one has the right to take your personhood away, not with a gun, not with their speech, not with a stupid law about where to pee. We are alive and we are PROUD of those who stand in support of those who are different from themselves. We are PROUD that Indianapolis mayor Joe Hogsett and his wife were front and center at Saturday’s parade. We are PROUD that Democratic gubernatorial candidate John Gregg walked alongside LGBT supporters. We are PROUD that this year’s parade grew even larger and that more businesses stepped out of the shadows to show their support.

So, today we share our photos from Saturday, when we were happy, when we didn’t even think that someone might target such an event with hate, when we took PRIDE in being alive and sharing a moment with our LGBT friends. You’ll see the mayor, Cadillac Barbie, Mr. Gregg, and many more. You’ll see the drone that hovered above the parade route and a young man who looks angry but actually had just run out of bananas to give away. You’ll see bubbles and bodies and rainbows but more than anything you’ll see people happy to be alive and being free to be themselves.

Kat sent me a video this morning that I also want you to see. The scene is from a PRIDE event in South Korea. Parents of LGBT children stand in the street and give hugs to anyone, to everyone, to show that they are loved. I cannot help but wonder if this isn’t the attitude we need to take as well. What kind of message would it send if thousands of LGBT allies stood on the circle and gave hugs and messages of support not only to our LGBT friends, but to anyone who needs that moment of love and affirmation? I’ll put the video after the photos.

I never wear any color but black, but this morning there is a button on my shirt. It is round, bordered by a rainbow and says, “ALLY.” My plan is to wear that button everywhere I go, every day, for as long as I can keep up with the magnetic back, so that everyone I see will know that this weekend’s tragedy has not weakened our resolve. We are alive, determined to support our LGBT friends, and determined, more than ever, to love.

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PotD  /  Social Commentary
Pride Justified
June 11, 2016
charles i. letbetter - pride justified

What is pride? A rocket that emulates the stars. —William Wordsworth

 

charles i. letbetter - pride justified

LGBT Pride Month may not be popular with conservatives but as long as hate remains, the love is justified.

After a full day yesterday, we will be dragging the kids from bed in a few minutes, painting their nails, tossing something resembling food in their mouths, then heading downtown for the Cadillac Barbie Indiana Pride Parade. This is a regular thing for us. We’ve done it every year Kat and I have been together. More than any other event in town, this is the one we feel obligated to get up and attend.

Sure, the parade is always a lot of fun. The people involved go out of their way to make it fun. And for the moment, the biggest concern the kids have is, “will there be candy?” because, you know, in their minds that’s what parades are all about.

There are important reasons, though, for attending the Pride parade, even if the kids don’t understand just yet what those reasons are. I’m much happier taking the little ones to a parade rather than a protest, which is the only choice my parents had back in the 1960s. I can promise you there was no candy back then. While they may not understand now, one day they’ll look back and realize how important this time is both for us as a country and as a civilization.

Conservatives erupted with howls of hate when President Obama declared June LGBT Pride Month. The religious extremists among us screamed with fury. We’ve seen this kind of reaction before. They did the same thing with Civil Rights in the 60s and Women’s Rights in the 1920s. Every positive step forward we’ve made has been met with opposition by the same groups of people. They are unable to accept the natural progression and change that comes as we develop more fully as a civilization. They spew their hate and, if allowed to have their way, keep us thinking like Neanderthals.

With all the hate we’ve seen this year directed toward transgender people (the T in the LGBT acronym, in case you didn’t know), attending this year’s parade and supporting Pride is as important as ever. While the little ones may not even fully understand the concept of sexuality yet, it is important to know that there is no room for hate, no room for exception, no room for discrimination because of any  difference, no matter what that difference might be.

Ideally, that should be enough, but I know some people that I’ve known since my own childhood are not yet convinced. So, here are a few reasons why Pride is justified:

  • LGBT people are human. Just like anyone else, one’s sexuality does not take away their human card. Being human endows one with unalienable rights, not the least among those being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. You know where that phrase originates. If we are not supporting human rights for everyone we are not supporting human rights at all. I will go even further in saying that any candidate, for any office that does not fully support human rights for everyone, without exception, cannot legitimately be a true representative of the people.
  • Ignorance kills. Too many people who have grown up accepting who they are have been bullied, beaten, and even killed because of the ignorance of others. That such behavior continues is beyond shameful. The only way to stop these acts of hate and violence is to address the ignorance behind them. LGBT people are your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and all any of them want is love.
  • For those who didn’t make it. When I was in high school, being out as being gay wasn’t cool. Everyone who now can stand proudly with their same gender spouse was firmly in the closet back then. While most made it out and are living beautiful lives, not everyone did. AIDS claimed the lives of a number of people who had been forced to stay in that closet during the 70s and early 80s. Even if help had been available, finding it in rural Oklahoma would have been impossible. As we think of those lost lives we must be committed to making sure that environment of fear never exists again.
  • For those who did make it. I had to smile this week as I scrolled through my Facebook feed and saw a picture of one of my favorite high school friends standing with his husband next to the Democratic nominee for president. Again, we all grew up in an extremely closeted environment unwelcoming of anyone who was different. The number of friends from high school and college who are now out and either married or in happy long-term relationships is joyous. Even more are those who are out and choose for their own reasons to remain single. They are all incredible people who have struggled with acceptance and both social and legal limitations. They all deserve to be celebrated.
  • Because love wins. If there is an ultimate lesson for the little ones to learn, it is this: love wins. Love, in all its glorious and fabulous forms, is not confining. Love does not tell you that you must behave one way or another. Love does not limit who you are or who you can become. Love accepts everyone. Love takes you to the top. Love conquers even the most vile and orange hate.

Everyone loves a parade and this one today will be louder, prouder, and more fabulous than any other to hit the streets of Indianapolis. We’re excited to attend and will be equally excited to post pictures in two or three days. But lest anyone think this a mere frivolity, be quite certain, this Pride is justified. Do not deny. We’ve told you why. No time to cry. We’re gonna fly.

Bye.

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Feeling The Heat
June 10, 2016

I don’t always wear underwear. When I’m in the heat, especially, I can’t wear it. Like, if I’m wearing a flower dress, why do I have to wear underwear? —Naomi Campbell

 

charles i. letbetter - feeling the heat

The heat is on. The argument for wearing clothes is strained. Caution is advised

My alarm went off, as always, at 4:00 AM this morning. I groaned quietly, kissed the back of Kat’s neck and got out of bed, dressing in the dark so as to not bother anyone.

The dog was waiting, as always. He hears the alarm, too, and is anxious for me to put on my shoes and snap the leash to his harness. He’s been here a month, but our morning walks are already a matter of ritual. He shakes himself and we’re ready to go.

I check the weather forecast, as always. 70 degrees. 30% chance of isolated thunderstorms after 7 this morning. Shit. I have 120 pounds of concrete mix sitting in the yard. I’ll have to move that when we get back.

We start our walk with Belvedere’s nose to the ground, as always. The neighbor’s security light pops on as we pass but the dog doesn’t flinch. He’s more interested in the scent of a feral cat that roams the area each night. The cat can’t be too big; we see its muddy paw prints on the car each morning. In the distant, lightening flashes. We probably won’t actually get any rain at our house.  Most weather goes around us.

This is summer, and, as always, we’re beginning to feel the heat. 92 is the forecasted high today, and as someone who grew up in Oklahoma, my instinctive reaction is to think, “Aw, that ain’t nothing but good swimming weather.” But 92 when I was a kid wasn’t the same as 92 is now. The only air pollution we had to worry about then was the fragrance that came from the feedlot when the wind was out of the South. Heat and humidity were a thing, but rarely did they actually kill anyone.

Things are different now. Heat is the enemy. Now, the National Weather Service issues air quality warnings. I saw the orange band across the top of the forecast early and knew what it had to be. Here’s this morning’s statement (the caps are normal for NWS statements; they’re not actually shouting at you):

INZ047-110000-
MARION-
INCLUDING THE CITY OF...INDIANAPOLIS
256 PM EDT THU JUN 9 2016

...A KNOZONE ACTION DAY HAS BEEN DECLARED...

THE OFFICIALS AT THE OFFICE OF SUSTAINABILITY FOR THE CITY OF
INDIANAPOLIS HAVE CALLED FOR A KNOZONE ACTION DAY ON FRIDAY...JUNE
10...FOR THE FOLLOWING INDIANA COUNTIES...

MARION.

A KNOZONE ACTION DAY MEANS THAT A COMBINATION OF THE HIGH
TEMPERATURES...LIGHT WINDS AND OTHER FACTORS ARE EXPECTED TO
PRODUCE CONDITIONS WHERE HIGH LEVELS OF OZONE EMISSIONS MAY
EXCEED FEDERALLY MANDATED STANDARDS.

HERE ARE SOME RECOMMENDED ACTIONS THAT THE PUBLIC CAN TAKE TO REDUCE
OZONE FORMING EMISSIONS.

RIDE THE BUS INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR CAR.
CAR-POOL WITH A FRIEND OR CO-WORKER.
REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT IN DRIVE THRU LANES.
POSTPONE FILLING OR TOPPING OFF YOUR GAS TANK UNTIL AFTER DARK.
PUT OFF MOWING YOUR LAWN UNTIL AFTER 600 PM.

All this because of a little heat. What wasn’t a big deal 40 or 50 years ago is monumental now. When we were kids, we could go out and play all day, every day, and the only time our parents worried about the weather affecting us adversely was when there were tornadoes in the area. Today, however, we’ll be taking specific action to protect the kids from harm: we’re leaving the county and heading for a quiet state park. They’ll be able to play outside without having to worry about breathing bad air.

Tomorrow is a different story, though. The anticipated high temperature for tomorrow is 96°F which means NWS will almost certainly release another air quality warning, but tomorrow is the annual Pride parade. We can’t miss that, for a number of reasons. That means we’ll have to make some adjustments to make sure the experience is safe and enjoyable for the kids. Come to think of it, you would probably do well to follow some of the same suggestions for yourself.

When feeling the heat, here are some do’s and don’ts for staying alive:

  • DO drink plenty of water. We’ll be carrying 8 oz bottles of the stuff to keep everyone hydrated. Hydration is always an issue in the heat, but under these conditions it is critical.
  • DON’T drink only soda, coffee or alcohol, all of which dehydrate the body. Sure, they’re tasty, but they’ll leave you panting along the side of the road.
  • DO wear clothing that is light textured if you’re in a place where clothing is required. This is a great time to show off your swimsuit.
  • DON’T forget the sunscreen. Please. Always. Skin cancer is no joke and incidents have risen dramatically in the past 20 years. The shine makes your body look good, anyway.
  • DO eat a lot of fresh fruit. Strawberries, peaches, apples, and bananas are what we’re having for breakfast.
  • DON’T eat a lot of processed sugars. That stuff is bad for you any day, but in the heat, they zap your strength and can make you violently ill. Stay away.
  • DO plan activities at either end of the day. Before 10 AM and after 6 PM are best.
  • DON’T expose you or anyone else (including pets) to extreme heat conditions any longer than absolutely necessary.
  • DO take your pets out for short, limited walks.
  • DON’T leave your pets tethered outside, even if they have shelter and water. The heat affects them even more than it does us.

I’m not one to jump on an alarmist bandwagon, but this heat is serious business. Already, the Best Protected Great Barrier Reef Corals Are Now Dead, and there’s a ’99 Percent Chance’ 2016 Will Be Hottest Year on record. The easy-going summers of the past, where we could just sit in the shade and drink lemonade without a care in the world are, unfortunately, non-existent for anyone who lives in a city of any size. I’m not sure those out in the country are as safe as they once were.

Summer is here. We’re going to feel some heat and, like it or not, we can’t just run around naked all over the place. Take some precautions. Use some common sense. There’s still plenty of fun to be had, we just have to be careful about when and how we do it.

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Art  /  Current Issues  /  Experimental  /  Original Style  /  PotD
Naked Thoughts While Walking The Dog
June 5, 2016
charles i. letbetter - naked thoughts while walking the dog

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights! —Warren G. Harding

 

charles i. letbetter - naked thoughts while walking the dog

Walking the dog of the morning gives some time for quiet contemplation before life is cluttered by the day

Random. Thoughts I have while walking the dog each morning are just that: random. Naked. I don’t look at any news or check any headlines before we head out the door. I do put on pants, just in case I’m not the only lunatic up at 4:00 in the morning (and I’m not), but other than that I’m unencumbered; just the dog and I out for a stroll. He’s interested in finding a fire hydrant where he can pee (he has a favorite). I’m interested in sorting through my dreams and the thoughts that linger from the previous day.

Sunday morning is a great time for that manner of contemplation. None of the thoughts are necessarily huge or impressive in any way. Just thoughts that are worth thinking for a moment, and then we let them slip back into the quiet places of our brain until we might actually need them in conversation. These are the moments where we work out for ourselves exactly how we feel about a topic, the hows and the whys and the justifications. Walking the dog is good for the brain that way.

Having a dog to walk is important, though. When people see someone, especially a man dressed in dark clothes, out walking by himself in the middle of the night they tend to make negative assumptions. One evening, a couple of weeks after I graduated from college, I was walking through my neighborhood at dusk and a man comes rushing out of his house wanting to know what I was stalking him and his wife. I wasn’t, of course. But to claim otherwise was apparently calling his wife a liar. I could have used a dog right then. No one questions what you’re doing when you are walking a dog.

One of the things that popped into my mind this morning was a couple of pictures posted by a friend who now lives in California. She grew up here in Indy, was quite a free spirit, and posed for me on a few occasions. The pictures were of her and her mate, a British chap, out frolicking about in the California forests completely naked. The pictures posted, of course, managed to meet social media requirements, covering up nipples and such. I’m sure there are more revealing photos, though. On one hand, I’m proud of the two of them for taking those pictures. They didn’t hide their faces or  do anything to deny that it was them in the photos. They owned their nudity and were happy in a way I wish everyone could be happy. At the same time, I was a little jealous that I wasn’t the one taking those pictures. I couldn’t be. I’m not in California. There aren’t enough people in Indiana who feel that free. They’ve all moved out West, or so it seems.

We went to a wedding last night. We took the kids along. The couple was beautiful. The mix of religious cultures was beautiful. The ceremony appropriately reflected who they are. Just before the ceremony was about to start, though, it rained. Stormed, actually, and quite seriously at that. The ceremony was held under a tent and most guests had already taken their seats. The tents didn’t have sides. My seat was along the edge. I spent the evening with my right pants leg completely soaked by the rain. I find the experience amusing. The rest of me was quite dry and the dampness did not impede my ability to enjoy the ceremony. The storm helped keep the kids in check, too. There was just this awkward sloshing sound as I was walking across the lawn. It’s a uniqueness that will help me remember the event.

I miss the days when people would just randomly stop by for a few pictures. Maybe they had a new outfit. Maybe they were just bored. Maybe they were feeling adventurous and enjoyed getting naked in front of the camera. All of those were true at various times with different people. No one does that now, though.  Speedway isn’t as popular as Broad Ripple. No one comes over here then stops and grabs a burger or pizza on their way home. No one can park at our house then walk down the street to meet friends and go out for the night. I’m not convenient anymore. But then, none of those friends who once dropped by do the Broad Ripple scene anymore. They’ve grown up. Some have kids. Several moved away.  We get older and we stay home. We don’t drop by and visit anyone. We do Netflix and nap.

The lawn needs mowing again, but I won’t do it today. I’m not inclined to spend an hour walking back and forth across the yard. Maybe we’ll  get started on the fence, though; get some holes dug.

The dog’s choices of places to pee is rather random. Sure, there’s the fire hydrant, but as his nose is sniffing along the ground there is apparently some randomly occurring fragrance that triggers his bladder, forcing him to stop and pee right now. Why does he choose to pee where he does? I suppose I could ask that same question about humans, though. I’ve actively avoided wading into that whole bathroom argument because I consider the very concept to be among the most ludicrous notions ever concocted. Talk about finding a solution for which there was no problem, North Carolina’s HB2 did just that. There wasn’t a problem. Now, everyone’s talking about where to go pee and that’s just about the most stupid waste of time I’ve ever seen. If you’re caught up in stopping people from peeing in certain places, you’re dumber than my hound dog.

However, I did discover this video last night. The music is incredible. My only problem is that I’ve never seen Harvey Fierstein without facial hair. I wasn’t prepared for that specific form of nakedness. His bare chin threw me for a loop. Mr. Fierstein wrote on his Facebook page:

So, you don’t like transgender people? Have the balls to honestly say it. Today’s bathroom controversy is fueled by the same bigots that sought to ban gay and lesbian teachers forty years ago. All these years later they’re still hiding behind the claim that they’re only protecting their children.

These discussions are great opportunities to educate and strengthen the bonds that make us all one human family. But when I see discussions on social media proposing a Men’s Room for adult males, a Ladies’ Room for adult females, a Little Girls’s Room for little girls, a little Boy’s Room for little boys and then another pair of bathrooms for Little Boys with a parent and Little Girls with a parent… Well, it’s time to take a step back and laugh at our own absurdity.

Hmmmm, is that Wayne Brady in drag as Lola? I’m never quite sure.

Enough walking for this morning. My legs hurt and the dog’s ready to eat. Enjoy your Sunday.

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Just For Fun  /  Mythology  /  PotD
A Non-Traditional Wedding
May 31, 2016
charles i. letbetter - a non-traditional wedding

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. —James Thurber

 

charles i. letbetter - a non-traditional wedding

Nothing about a wedding should be traditional. The marriage is new so everything about it should be also.

Tomorrow is June, the official wedding month. Yay. Whoopee. Yawn.

Anyone who knows me understands that I don’t like weddings all that much. I’ll attend them for really close friends, but I don’t like shooting them at all and generally find them to be a giant waste of cash. All a wedding does is reinforce a centuries-old concept of patriarchal society in which women were considered nothing more than property.

That whole walking down the aisle thing? Comes from an ancient tradition of sealing a contract. The seller would walk with whatever was being purchased between the two halves of slaughtered cattle as a symbol that should the seller not be honest and the goods not live up to their promise, the seller would become like the cattle: split in two. If a daughter was being sold, which often happened, she would be walked by her father between the pieces of dead animals. Talk about a bloody wedding! Why in the world would we want to perpetuate that imagery?

Weddings do have a legal advantage, of course, which makes them necessary in more cases than not. That may well change in the future, but for the moment such a reality is in place and even has Kat and I planning a wedding somewhere in the future. While government may demand we legalize our union in order to receive increasingly questionable benefits, we might as well make it a party.

There is no need to keep with the traditional concept of a wedding, though, which is why I have taken the drastic step of becoming a member of the clergy. I kid you not. Here is a copy of my official ordination certificate:

charles i. letbetter - a non-traditional wedding

For those of my older friends who might be confused, yes, I was once-upon-a-time licensed (not ordained) by a Southern Baptist church in Oklahoma, but I’m pretty sure they’ve long since rescinded that particular piece of paper.

The nice thing about being a Dudeist priest is that I can pretty much make shit up as I go. There’s no orthodoxy, no traditions, no commandments, nor any regulations to follow. The ordination is legal in all 50 states, so I can officially perform weddings anywhere and make them as original and non-conformists as is appropriate to the situation. If you want a wedding that defies convention, I’m your man. That’ll be $50 plus airfare and accommodations. Photos are extra; a lot extra.

I understand you may still be skeptical. I would be. So, to help calm your fears (or stoke them even more) here is a copy of the wedding ceremony that I’ve written. That means it’s copyrighted, jerks, so don’t try stealing it. We are gender neutral at the Church of the Latter-Day Dude, so we’re using the terms Spouse A and Spouse B rather than bridge and groom. We really don’t care who takes which role. Here’s the ceremony:

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here with friends, family, and a couple of people no one likes but the couple felt obligated to invite anyway, to unite these crazy love birds, Spouse A and Spouse B, in legal matrimony. If you were looking for Holy matrimony, you hired the wrong Dude.

Spouse A and Spouse B have decided to join their lives and a portion of their worldly possessions together not only for the tax and spousal benefits but because they believe in this crazy little thing called love and were looking for a good excuse to throw a party. It is their hope that this expression of love and sappy sentiment will ignite in each of you a passion for something other than crappy macramè and cheap bottles of wine. 

While marriage itself is a long-standing representation of male domination, both Spouse A and Spouse B are vanilla and kindly ask that you save your rope and ball gags until after the cake has been served. 

Spouse A and Spouse B, you stand here together as a symbol of your acquiescence to social morès and traditions established by people who could not have anticipated the degree of fabulousness you share. In entering this union, the coolness between you also joins, then splits violently like a hydrogen atom creating a romantic energy that will brighten your darkest days, the fallout from which will cause the disenfranchised to wretch slightly at the sight of your public displays of affection. With such incredible power between you, this marriage may well inspire others to write books, or love poems, or at least a documentary for Netflix.

Marriage is not an easy road and many have fallen into the potholes and never been seen nor heard from again because heaven forbid this stupid state spend a dime on infrastructure. You will face many challenges, from trying to remember the date of this auspicious event to trying to not commit murder when you find out Spouse A’s cousin voted for the downfall of the free world. You have to power between you to overcome these challenges. Remember to update your calendar daily and compare family notes before holidays.

The vows you exchange today are not legally binding and are not meant to enslave or unreasonably obligate the other. They are an expression of your commitment to each other at least through the end of the reception. So, will you please join hands and, Spouse A, please repeat after me.

I, Spouse A,
Do take you, Spouse B,
to be my lawfully wedded other
to hold and to snuggle but not too tight
to cherish on the good days
and tolerate on the bad;
when you’re healthy and
when you’re puking;
to listen when you’re correct
and not tease you more than three days when you’re wrong again;
from this day forward until one of us becomes intolerable
or is convicted of a Class A felony.

Spouse B, here’s your equal time. Please repeat after me, loud enough for you mother to hear because she never thought she’d live to see this day.

I, Spouse B,
do take you, Spouse A,
to be my lawfully wedded other
to embrace and to fondle
to celebrate your achievements
and quietly dismiss your failures
not matter how frequent and public they may be;
to remind you to take your meds
and to scream at the insurance rep
when the pharmacist says they’re not covered under our new plan;
from this day forward
until one of us is deported
or becomes mentally incapacitated
and becomes a ward of the state.

That  wasn’t so bad, was it? Now, may I have the fiery brands of ownership, er, I mean, the rings, please? [Receives rings from Best Dude and holds them above his head because no one has ever actually seen rings before.]

These rings that I hold symbolize roundness because no one has ever had square fingers. Rings can be powerful. They can activate the Wonder Twins or grant wishes if inhabited by a genie. Both of these rings seem to be void of any supernatural presence, but they will give you a tan line so that strippers know to give you a fake cell number.

Spouse A, place the ring on Spouse B’s hand and repeat after me:

With this ring
I summon the power of the ancients
that they may bestow upon you
enough cash to pay for the honeymoon.

Spouse B, place the ring on Spouse A’s hand and repeat after me:

With this ring
I call upon the powers of the cosmos
that they may instill upon you
the knowledge to always know when to duck.

That’s it, you’re legally stuck with each other. By the power invested in me by the Church of the Latter-Day Dude and the state of abject horror, I now pronounce you married with all the rights, benefits, and depositions due you. What this Dude has joined together, let no jackass try to split.

Feel free to make out now.

See? Nice, easy, and a hell of a lot shorter than my first wedding. We are more than happy to provide this non-traditional wedding service to all our friends. All we ask is that you give us plenty of time to work out the details. Some states have some really strange laws that require a fair amount of hoop jumping.

You know, you’re not entitled to a copy of your partner’s death certificate if you’re not married. As stupid as that is, there are a number of reasons why you might want to have a non-traditional wedding. Sure, there’s that whole love thing, but even if you just barely tolerate each other you might want to consider giving it a go. Who knows what manner of horrors await us after this next election. You might as well flee the country together, married, just to be safe.

Book your 2017 wedding with us now. You’ll have a whole year to talk yourself out of it. Deposits non-refundable.

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Current Issues  /  PotD
Everyday Patriotism
May 30, 2016
charles i. letbetter - everyday patriotism

I saw courage both in the Vietnam War and in the struggle to stop it. I learned that patriotism includes protest, not just military service. —John F. Kerry

 

charles i. letbetter - everyday patriotism

Patriotism cannot be something limited to a few special days of the year

Budweiser is changing its name to America (though I’ve yet to see any of the new cans in stores). Coca-Cola is adopting new red, white, and blue cans.  Americans never want to be accused of not being patriotic. We take our patriotism seriously, which is why we have days like Memorial Day. We are ingrained from our earliest points of education to appreciate the sacrifices others have made to give us the freedoms we have, even though we abuse those freedoms far too regularly.

Patriotism in the United States isn’t all that different from patriotism in other countries. Nationalism has been a thing around the globe since the mid-19th century. People everywhere wear clothing with representations of their country’s flag on it. Clothes coming from Milan proudly bear the Made in Italy label, and that label actually stands for something. The French are proud not only of their champagne, but their language and its contribution to the global vocabulary. When a Brazillian driver takes the lead at the Indianapolis 500, big green and yellow flags suddenly appear in the infield in a display of nationalistic pride and camaraderie.

Patriotism in the United States, though, may be louder than it is anywhere else. Not only do we find ways to include the red, white, and blue in almost everything, we include patriotic moments in almost all our events, from the singing of the national anthem to color guards and military fly-overs (which are damned impressive). We sing, “God Bless the USA,” and “God Bless America,” with fervor. We respect our troops (most of the time) and thank them for serving. And on special days like Memorial Day, we go out of our way to make sure our patriotism is on display.

Yet, real patriotism is not a sometimes thing. Patriotism doesn’t wait for a holiday or a special event. Patriotism doesn’t require special bunting or a red, white, and blue dress code. Patriotism doesn’t require fireworks or that one even own an American flag. Loving our country is more of an everyday thing, discernable in everyday actions, the way we speak, and the things we do. Being an American is more than celebrating a holiday.

Being in American is being a neighbor and caring for the people around you.

Being a patriot is understanding that we are not just one idea or concept, but a melting pot of many ideas and cultures and concepts, and celebrating those differences.

Patriotism is paying attention to and participating in the political system, not because it works the way we want, but because it fails completely if we don’t.

Being American means standing up to bullies; not only on a national front, but individually against bigots and xenophobes who would harm our fellow citizens.

Patriots understand that just because one has the right to do something does not always make the exhibition of that right appropriate, kind, or just.

Patriotism is standing up and being loud in the face of sexism, gender inequality, homophobia, social inequality, racism, body shaming, and any attempt to put down a fellow American.

Real Americans recognize that our country is far from perfect, that we’ve made some pretty egregious errors in the past, but are committed to not letting those mistakes happen again.

Real patriots don’t allow their elected officials to do nothing, to take more days off then they work, and still retain office.

Patriotism is understanding the power of volunteering, for military service, to support those who serve, to support those who have served, to care for those who return from service with impairments, to assist the families of those who serve, and to make sure no one is left behind even when they can no longer wear a uniform.

Americans do their best to make sure those who serve are not embarrassed by the country they represent, for it is our own actions more than their own that cause them disrespect.

Patriots vote without making excuses.

Patriotism is giving a shit even when everything around you seems to be going to hell in a handbasket.

We’ll see a lot of red, white, and blue today. We’ll see flags waving and numerous displays of nationalistic pride.  But as we celebrate, may we never forget those who sacrificed in battle, those who continue to suffer after returning home, and those who fight, yell, scream, and argue to make sure the number of people who need to make that sacrifice grows smaller every year.

Patriotism is not a once-in-a-while thing. Patriotism is every day.

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Just For Fun  /  Photography
Outside the Indianapolis 500
May 29, 2016
Outside the Indianapolis 500

The Indianapolis 500 is a party that starts long before anyone gets to the actual race.

 

charles i. letbetter - outside the Indianapolis 500

Veteran race-goers know: reserve your parking space in advance, come early, and bring plenty of food.

Today is the 100th running of the greatest spectacle in motorsports: the Indianapolis 500 and we’re right smack in the middle of it. Actually, we’re not in the middle of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, we’re just outside. If you’re familiar with IMS, you know there’s a 40-acre parking lot on the North side of the track: the North 40. Half-way up that lot, on the East side, is a gate. We are across the street from that gate.

Parking cars on the lawns in our neighborhood is a long-standing tradition. People who have been attending the Indianapolis 500 for years have strong relationships with homeowners around here and like to park in the same places each year. They have our phone numbers and call sometimes several weeks in advance to make sure that they can secure their favorite spot on our lawn. This year, demand has been especially high. It is just after 9:00 AM as I’m typing this and already every available space on our lawn is either full or reserved. The same holds true for most our neighbors.

Of course, when people get here this far ahead of the race, which isn’t scheduled to start this year until 12:19 PM, one looks for ways to pass the time. Many tailgate. Some reserve extra space so they can sit and chat with friends and family. Some play games. There is always plenty of activity outside the gates right up until roughly 30 minutes before the Indianapolis 500 gets underway.

All that activity makes for great people watching any year, but this year it is especially entertaining. So, we’re taking a few pictures during the day and posting them a few at a time. Understand, we don’t actually know any of these people. If you see someone you recognize and they were supposed to be somewhere else today, that’s not our fault.

The Indianapolis 500 is a unique race simply because of its size and spectacle. We can’t go in but we can show you all the fun happening outside.

Before The Race:

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AFTER THE RACE

Once the race is over, the rush is on to get to the car and get out as quickly as possible. Of course, “quickly” is a subjective term. Some do best to take their time and let the alcohol burn off a bit. Some have difficulty finding their party while others are pretty sure they are the party. Any way you look at it, though, the effects of being out in the sun are evident on everyone who passed. As you’re looking through the photos, be sure to check the faces in the background as well. Sometimes those we didn’t focus on were more entertaining. We avoided the worst, though. There were a few who, while they would have been easy prey for the camera, were so drunk and/or dehydrated that taking their picture would have been a bit cruel. I’m sure they’re suffering enough this morning without waking up and finding their drunken selves on the Internet. We also tossed in a few pictures of some of the mess people leave behind. The Coke lot always gets trashed the worse, but I didn’t want to walk all the way down there.

Again, if you see someone you know, tag them and let them know you found them being silly, or angry, or shoving a whole water bottle in their mouth (not kidding, it’s in there). It was an exciting race with a lot of interesting people.

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Just For Fun  /  PotD
Cooling Off Periods
May 28, 2016

The accepted definition of a serial killer is a person who kills at least three times with a cooling off period in between his murders. —Pat Brown

 

charles i. letbetter - cooling off period

If the summer is going to be as hot as forecast, we need to plan some cooling off periods

Climatologists and meteorologists have been warning us since April that 2016 is going to be the warmest year ever. There were a few days earlier this month when I would have challenged that forecast. We went through roughly a week where we had to fight with the kids to get them to wear coats on their way to the bus stop of the morning.

“But, it’s summer,” they would complain.

“But it’s 38 degrees,” we would respond.

That blip was apparently just a cooling off period, though. This summer may be a serial killer in the same sense as 2012 with daily temps over 100 and prolonged periods with no rain. We’re going to need some cooling off periods and we may have to create them ourselves.

No one should be sweating at 4:30 in the morning, but I was today. I took the dog out for our normal walk at 4:00 and by the time we returned my back was damp. Mind you, we don’t run, though the pup probably wouldn’t mind. We take a slow, casual stroll around the block to give him a chance to do his business while I think about what I’m going to write when we return. There’s usually a light breeze and the quiet solitude of being the only one on the street except for the paper boy (yeah, we still have one of those, but he drives a minivan now with one front blinker out). This morning had a breeze and was blissfully quiet (except for the helicopter making a quick pass over the speedway), but it was 74 degrees and humid as hell, if hell has humidity issues.  Belvedere took straight to his water bowl upon returning while I took straight to the coffee pot. Cooling off is different for each of us. I am worried, though, to need a break so early in the morning isn’t a good sign.

Being hot on Memorial Day weekend isn’t that unusual, of course. In fact, the Indianapolis 500 isn’t the same experience without the sun bearing down into the snake pit, making sure everyone wakes up the next morning both hung over and sunburned. Race fans think cooling off is something one finds in a can of beer (bottles are not allowed), even though all they’re doing is dehydrating, which makes the hangover worse. Not having grown up here and not being a huge fan of watching cars go in circles, I have difficulty understanding the attraction to such inherent misery but, for many people, it’s a tradition they wouldn’t dream of missing no matter how hot it might get.

The rest of the summer is the greater challenge, though. Mother Nature can become a serial killer in July and August most any year. If we look back at 2012, the severe heat started in June and that seems to be the way things are shaping up for this year. Will she give us any cooling off periods? Better to not count on it. I think the more prudent move is to plan our own cooling off activities. Here are some of the considerations we’re entertaining at the moment:

  • Adult party in the kiddie pool. Our next door neighbor has a really nice above ground pool with a great deck and everything. He has regular parties over there (including one tonight) that are always fun and a bit rambunctious. The challenge is that pool takes a lot of his time to keep clean and at a temperature that doesn’t induce hypothermia. I don’t have that kind of time or energy. Instead, we have a kiddie pool. The little ones love it, but I’m thinking it can be great for cooling off our adult friends as well and we’re less likely to need a lifeguard. We can sit along the perimeter with our bare feet in the water while enjoying ice-cold adult beverages. Add some cool, fresh fruit and hors d’oeuvres and we’re set.
  • Naked mud photoshoot. We’ve not done one in a while. The pictures above were taken in 2010 and I don’t think I’ve done anything in the mud since. Two of the three young women have moved away, so we have opportunities here for new people to participate. Actually, this particular shoot was in April and turned off colder than we expected, especially when it came time to clean up. Rolling around in the mud is great for your skin and is very cooling for your body (which is why pigs like the mud as well). The pictures are always fun, sexy, and make all your friends jealous (not kidding).
  • Cook dinner on the grill. Air conditioners have to work hard enough during summers like this without adding to the challenge by heating up the whole house just to prepare a meal. Almost all your favorite foods can be prepared on the grill if you are willing to take a bit of time. Grilling is a great summertime tradition, anyway, so why not experiment with more than just hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken, and ribs? I’m planning on grilling brats and a beef roast tomorrow and am considering possibly grilling a lamb roast within the next week or two. The flavors are great, the heat stays outside, and everyone loves the food.
  • Explore new places to eat. Summer is, in my opinion, the best time to try new and different dining experiences. Food is more likely to be fresh and their attention to creating a pleasing environment usually means it won’t be too warm, even if the experience is al fresco. The menus also tend to reflect dishes more appropriate for summer: lighter cuts of meat, fewer heavy sauces, and plenty of fresh herbs. We tend to look for restaurants within easy walking distance of other activities good for cooling off, such as visiting a bookstore, art galleries, or live music. Sometimes we can even get lucky and find it all in one place!
  • Camping. The logic here is elementary: cities hold heat. A great way of cooling off, both physically and emotionally, is to “get the hell out of Dodge,” so to speak and go camping. Indiana is blessed with some really incredible state parks, most of which have cooling canyons and ravines and water that is appropriate for either swimming, wading, or boating. Tall, old trees provide plenty of shade and a gentle breeze, the kids have plenty of opportunities to explore, and if you plan well you might just find yourself relaxing a little bit. Granted, there are a number of uncontrollable variables with this option, and a good trip can go South in a hurry through no one’s fault. Still, the benefits outweigh the risks in most cases.

There’s nothing I can do about how hot this summer might be. Mother Nature doesn’t pay any attention when I gripe, so it’s just easier to find cooling off options that work regardless of the weather. We’ll survive this hottest year, you and me, and we may even have some fun in the process. We just need plenty of cooling off periods.

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Current Issues  /  PotD
One Giant Party
May 26, 2016

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. —Ron White

 

charles i. letbetter - one giant party

The 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 is cause to party, but there are some rules

This is no ordinary race week. This is no ordinary race. The 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 brings more people to Indianapolis than any other event, ever, and in many places across town, the party has already started! Whether you’re at the Coke Lot or one of the events at Pan Am Plaza downtown, or right here in our backyard at the North 40, everyone has one primary goal: To have a good time.

Unfortunately, there are always some people who go a bit too far. I woke this morning to a headline reading, “Man Shot Several Times At Speedway Strip Club.” That’s not the kind of partying anyone needs. Last year, some brilliant jackass thought it would be cool to burn down a whole line of portable toilets in the Coke Lot. That’s exactly the kind of nonsense that ruins the event for everyone. If you’re going to party, ya’ gotta follow the rules.

The party starts well before the race, of course. We’re expecting a larger-than-ever turnout for Carb Day tomorrow. The big draw is the Journey concert at 3:30 PM and I’m expecting to be able to take the dog out, sit in the yard, and hear the whole thing just fine. Fellow-Okie Blake Shelton is here Saturday afternoon, and we’ll probably have a decent turnout for that as well. Then, for better or worse, there’s Saturday night at the Coke Lot. One the party starts, it doesn’t stop until well after Sunday’s race is over.

Before you head our direction, though, there are some things you should know, even if you’ve been here every year for your entire life. The  Indianapolis Motor Speedway (IMS) has updated their policies as to what will and will not be allowed through the gate.  IMS also announced yesterday that there will be more security at this race than ever before.  Those of us who live in the neighborhood are very happy to know that federal agencies are lending a hand in keeping everyone safe. With some 300,000-plus people on hand, the race is a prime target for those desperate for attention.

Some of the things you can expect to be different this year are:

  • An increase in security checkpoints, especially the day of the race.
  • An increase in the use of special K-9 units. You’re not sneaking anything past these dogs. We suggest you not try.
  • More  vehicle searches as you’re entering the grounds. Anything suspicious will be considered reasonable cause.
  • ESG Security is searching bags and coolers, not IMS Yellow Shirts. Yellow Shirts are being utilized  to help people get where they’re going more efficiently.
  • IMPD is scanning vehicle license plates as they enter the grounds. They say they’re looking for stolen vehicles, but we suspect there’s more to it than that.

If you’re just coming in for one of the concerts, there are some special rules you should probably know as well:

  • No selfie sticks
  • No drones
  • No stickers (not kidding!)
  • No professional cameras (another reason for me to stay home)
  • No lasers

This size of the crowd this year likely means that the party is going to be larger than ever in the neighborhoods surrounding IMS as well. As Kat was coming home yesterday she noticed that prices for lawn parking are higher this year for those North of 30th street. I’m sure she’ll be talking with our neighbors about raising our pricing as well. I know we’re limiting the amount of lawn we give to parking this year.

Thousands of party people park in our neighborhood for these events and enter through the East gate of the North 40, directly across the street from our house. We don’t mind too terribly much, partly because you’re paying for the privilege. Still, if you’re going to park off-site and walk into IMS, there are some additional things you should know:

  • Traffic is going to suck worse than ever. Everything is sold out for Sunday, which means somewhere around 150,000 more people trying to get in than last year. Georgetown, Lafayette, and 30th street are going to be a nightmare starting around 3:00 AM. Plan accordingly.
  • No one in the neighborhood really likes being awakened at 3 AM, even if you’re giving us money. Please, keep the noise down at least until the sun is up.
  • SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Every year, we see too many redneck sons of bitches who apparently think they can secure a last-minute driving spot by showing how fast they can maneuver residential streets. Don’t be that jackass. Someone’s likely to get hurt.
  • Watch out for children. One of the great things about our neighborhood is that we’ve seen an influx of families with children over the past 12 months. There are little ones running all over the place, which is very different from previous years. Many of them are small enough to not be seen easily and when things get hectic, as race day always does, keeping an eye on everyone is challenging. Keep an eye out, please.
  • Speaking of children, please be careful about what you feed them. The guests we have parking in our yard are always generous about sharing their food with our children who are always hungry. I’m sure others are the same. However, as their parents, we would be most appreciative if you didn’t give them whole bags of Hostess donuts and other such sugar-filled treats. Our children aren’t accustomed to that much processed sugar and it makes them rather crazy. Get them hopped up and we may well send them with you.
  • Don’t ask to use our restroom. You’re welcome to our lawn, not inside our houses. Some of our neighbors have rented portable toilets for the event for your use, including some right outside the East gate. Bring ones, though. Those potties aren’t free.
  • Watch where you park. Certain sides of the street are off limits (there are signs). The right-of-way between the sidewalk and the street is also off limits. Park there and you WILL be towed. We have a neighborhood busybody (not me this time) who is quick to call police when she sees a parking infraction. You don’t want to have to walk home.
  • Exit quickly. We’re pretty much trapped here all weekend. We know that and have prepared accordingly. However, by Sunday evening, we have cabin fever and need to get out, if for no other reason than to buy more toilet paper. We can’t do that until everyone’s gone. Please, don’t lag or dilly-daddle. IMPD does their best to get everyone on their way and out of the neighborhood within two hours after the race. Don’t be that straggler whose vehicle is still on our lawn at 9PM Sunday night.

I know that’s a lot to take in, but if we’re all going to party together there have to be some ground rules. We don’t want anyone getting hurt or running afoul of the law. Have a good time, enjoy the concerts and the race, and if you’re going through the East gate of the North 40, drop by and say hi!

Party on, Garth!

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pop culture  /  PotD
Not A Food Fanatic In A City That Is
May 24, 2016
charles i. letbetter - not a food fanatic in a city that is

You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food. —Paul Prudhomme

 

charles i. letbetter - not a food fanatic in a city that is

Condé Nast Traveler says Indianapolis is “the most underrated food city in the US.” That’s nice, unless you’re not really a food fanatic.

[Update: This article went largely unnoticed until late evening, May 24. Apparently, someone posted a link on Facebook. Suddenly, our hit count exploded and currently, May 25, we’re having our highest visitor/hit count ever! Hooray! Apparently, Erin and her dear friends are offended. They (mistakenly) think we’re against good and diverse dining. One person was so incensed, she wants to punch me in the throat. Wow, who knew foodies could be so violent . While we do not apologize for the content, our intent was not to insult or in any way disparage any of the fine establishments mentioned. Condé Nast Traveler didn’t single them out with no reason. One restaurant owner even reached out and invited us to drop by his establishment, an invitation we will do our best to accept. Still, no matter how wonderful all these restaurants are, we are never going to eat out that often and when we do we’re more likely to choose something closer to home, a bit more child appropriate, and less likely to upset my overly-sensitive stomach. If you want to try them, please do. I’m sure you’ll have a pleasant experience. Be sure to leave them a nice review on Yelp! Thank you for visiting!]

One could almost hear the squeals of glee when Condé Nast Traveler updated its 2015 list of Best Places To Visit This Summer and decided to include Indianapolis in the #28 spot, right between Maui, Hawaii, and Camden, Maine. Indy is full of people who love eating out so much that their own kitchens feel neglected as they’re hardly even used for making coffee anymore. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me too much to see at least one of the new sets of condos going up downtown to eliminate stoves and ovens entirely, leaving only a refrigerator for storing doggie bags and a microwave for heating them up. That’s just how fanatical Indy’s food people are.

Food fanatics have cropped up everywhere in the past ten years. When I first moved here, the top-rated restaurant in town was St. Elmo’s. Everyone told me I need to eat there. Then, I saw their menu. No, thank you. I can cook my own steak for considerably less, get it exactly the way I like it, and not have to take out a small loan in the process. I do have a bottle of their cocktail sauce in the ‘fridge. We bought it at Costco. If premiere dining means overspending on everything, then I’ll have no part of it, thank you.

Over the ensuing years, though, a number of chefs have inexplicably chosen Indianapolis as the place to try out their new and innovative menus and, much to my surprise, people in Indy have actually responded favorably. Condé Nast specifically mentions Milktooth, Black Market, Rook, and Marrow but there are at least a dozen other places around town that are every bit as good and just as difficult to get a seat between 6-8 PM. Every one of them stays busy and on the rare occasion one goes out of business it is usually something other than the food that was at fault.

But guess what: I’ve not been to any of them. Not a one. Never mind the fact that the Black Market literally share’s a driveway with Kat’s dad and we’re down there all the time smelling the delicious aromas pouring out their back door. I’m not one to eat out that often and when I do it’s almost certainly to be an old favorite or, at least, someplace where I know that I’m likely to find something I like even if I find the majority of choices detestable.

Not that I never try new places, mind you. Just last week I stepped into Punch for lunch and had a wonderful time. The food was fantastic, the price was reasonable, the service friendly, and the portion on the waffle fries was huge. Punch was a pretty safe bet, though. It is the top-rated downtown burger joint on Yelp, and, obviously, it’s a burger joint. You can do a lot with burgers, but it’s pretty hard to fuck one up to the point it’s inedible. Stopping by Punch was about as adventurous from a food perspective as taking an alternate path home: you know where you’re going, you just go a different direction getting there.

Could I have just as easily eaten at one of those fancy places everyone talks about? Probably. But I am not a food fanatic. I have issues with trying some place new. Serious issues. As much as I enjoy eating, a food fanatic is not something I could ever be. Here’s why:

  • Nothing’s close. Almost all the hottest places to eat are downtown, Broad Ripple, or Fountain Square, none of which are anywhere close to our home. If I want to grab a nice lunch while everyone else is at school, I have to get on a bus, whose schedule and route isn’t always convenient to where I want to eat. If we’re talking about dinner, we’re talking about where to park as free parking isn’t exactly booming in this or any other city. Most days, that’s just too much trouble. I’ll stay home.
  • Children. All the cool places on the food lovers’ lists are less than appropriate for the two energetic and sometimes picky six- and seven-year-olds we have. The problem is not that children are forbidden in any of these places, but the menus simply aren’t appropriate. We have difficulty getting them to eat anything other than mac and cheese. Do you really think we’re going to convince them that “smoked tofu, miso eggplant, bok choy, coco rice, hoisin, slow poached egg (Marrow)” is a good thing to try? As much as it costs to eat out, the last thing you want is the kids sitting there picking at expensive food they won’t eat.
  • Menus that make no sense. One of the things I really dislike is not having some general sense of what I’m eating. If I have to sit at the table and Google items on the menu to see what they are, we have a problem. Consider this description of an “Okonomiyaki Burger” at Rook: duck egg / leeks / caramelized onions / Tulip Tree Foxglove / shoestring potato / foie mayo. I’m still trying to figure out where the hell the burger is in all that. Is it beef? Mixed meat? Vegan? And I’m Googling “Tulip Tree Foxglove” and “foie mayo.” At $17, I kinda want to know what to expect before I put my order in.
  • Indigestion. I’m old. Stomach problems run in our family. A number of popular restaurants make their name on dishes that are spicy. As much as I may want to try those delightful looking dishes, I don’t dare. I won’t sleep for three days if I do. My stomach simply cannot handle anything too terribly spicy. This condition only gets worse over time, and no, popping an antacid doesn’t help. Who wants to spend money on moderately bland food?
  • Cost. I’ll admit that a lot of the trendy restaurants are not nearly as expensive as the more traditional steak houses such as St. Elmo’s or Ruth Chris’. Depending on one’s menu and drink choices, one can reasonably eat for less than $20 a person, plus tip. Not bad, really. Unfortunately, the realistic penny-pinching side of me looks at the $50 I might drop on dinner for Kat and me and know that I could buy a week’s worth of groceries for the same amount, and have leftovers (yeah, I’m that good), and manage to get the kids to eat everything on their plates at least five of the seven nights. It’s difficult to enjoy good food when you’re racked with guilt.

I’ve not lived in rural Oklahoma for a very long time, but at the end of the day, I’m still a country boy whose best friend in the kitchen is my cast iron skillet.  I don’t need exotic ingredients when I can just pick fresh veggies from the garden. I don’t need a cheese whose name is longer than mine and I damn sure don’t need my asparagus shaved. While I enjoy trying new foods, especially those related to a specific culture, I still want food that doesn’t require a degree in food science to appreciate.

Unless someone else is picking up me and the bill, I’m not likely to ever dine at any of those super cool places Condé Nast Traveler thinks I shouldn’t miss. That’s rather sad. I want to be part of the cool crowd; I just don’t want to take leave of my senses to do so. Not being a food fanatic in a city that is crazy about food rather sucks at times, but hey, I know a great place where the chicken is pan fried, the gravy is from scratch, and the greens have just the right amount of kick; it’s called my kitchen. Just give me a yell before you stop by.

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Current Issues  /  PotD  /  Social Commentary
Fair Doesn’t Get Personal
May 22, 2016
charles i. letbetter - fair isn't personal

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. —Groucho Marx

 

charles i. letbetter - fair doesnt get personal

Complaining about life not being fair is immoral when you’re already so close to the top.

I could be very frank with you and say that life isn’t fair. Ever. I could end this article here and go back to bed, which sounds so very tempting. But to do that would be missing the entire point this morning. You already know life isn’t fair. You feel how unfair life is everytime the car doesn’t start, or someone else gets the girl, or the baby throws up on you just as you’re about to walk out the door. You don’t need me to tell you that life isn’t fair. What I want you to hear this morning is that nothing to do with fairness, the good, the bad, or the indifferent, is personal. The universe is not picking on you.

From the earliest point in our lives, we look for fairness. If we see a child with a lollipop, we want a lollipop. If one of our classmates has new shoes, we think we deserve new shoes  as well. Someone gets paid a given amount for a certain job, we think it’s only fair that everyone be paid the same amount for the same job. This concept of what is fair seems to be universal. Even monkeys understand equal pay for equal work. We want everything in our lives to be fair, or so we say.

The fact is, if you’re living in the United States, Canada, or most of Western Europe, the scales are already tipped in your favor. Those little inconveniences you consider unfair are little more than a minor balancing of the universal measure of right and wrong, and chances are you’re still coming out much better than the vast majority of  people. Consider some of the following comparisons:

Why? What’s fair isn’t a personal thing. Shit happens on a universal basis. There’s no cosmic calculator that is keeping tabs on the number of good things you get versus the bad. There’s no mystical figure in the sky or below the earth who is waiting to reward you for being nice, or punish you for being a total bitch. Instead, what we consider to be fairness has more to do with where on the planet you were born, whether your parents were (comparatively) rich, and whether you had the opportunity to go to school. If you had those things, life is likely to be overly fair to you. If you were born with those factors against you, life is more likely to feel like the bottom of a global shithole.

Whether you want to admit it or not, if you were born in the US, regardless of any other factor, life for you is more fair than 85% of the rest of the world. Here’s another list:

  • While you complain about slow internet speeds or lack of wifi in a given location, 60% of the world still has no internet service at all.
  • When you complain about the long wait times at the doctor’s office, consider that 27% of the world’s population has no access to modern healthcare at all.
  • If you are tempted to complain about your job, remember that over 200 million people around the world have no job and few prospects for ever getting one.
  • Before you gripe about the assembly instructions being in more than one language, know that 750 million people in the world can’t read at all.
  • As you’re complaining about the slow service at that restaurant, over 795 million people will go hungry today. Most of those will go hungry tomorrow as well.

Are any of those statistics in any way fair? What is fair about children in one part of the world sleeping soundly at night while those in a different region huddle together in fear as they listen to bombs falling around them? What is fair about women in Africa walking multiple miles each day to collect water when all you do is turn a tap and then complain because you don’t like the way it tastes?

In the past week, I’ve heard people complain that they didn’t think it fair that someone was prettier, someone had bigger boobs, someone had a better spouse, someone had a better job, someone had a bigger house. Each one of those people specifically said they didn’t think their current condition was fair.

I don’t think the real problem is one of fairness at all. Life isn’t treating you mean, the universe doesn’t have a target attached to your forehead. You’re just greedy, and perhaps lacking in perspective. Your desire for more blocks your ability to see just how much you already have.

Life is treating you just fine. So not every little detail goes your way. So someone else gets the promotion at work. So Brad Pitt will still be hotter than me even when he’s 98.

You’re alive. That’s fair.

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