The interesting thing is how one guy, through living out his own fantasies, is living out the fantasies of so many other people. —Hugh Hefner
Halloween has long been a time for adults to indulge their fantasies
I was a little surprised when I went to check what day the city would allow trick-or-treating. With Halloween falling on a Monday this year, I wouldn’t have been surprised had Saturday, or even Friday been chosen for the annual costumed candy grab. Doing the neighborhood walk thing on a Monday night isn’t really all that bad, I suppose. Sure, it keeps kids up a little past their bedtimes on a school night, but I recall doing the exact same thing when we were kids. The difference is that my brother and I were never rushed through the ritual so  that our parents could get to their own party. For many kids today, Mom and Dad can’t wait to get the little ones to bed so the adults can do some partying of their own.
Halloween as an adult party time isn’t new. Since the mid-80s, it has often seemed as though October 31 is more of an adult holiday than it is for kids. Night clubs go all out with special events and costume shops have more “sexy” ideas for adults than they do cartoon characters for kids. The costumed rituals around viewings of Rocky Horror Picture Show got things started. Then, the movie Eyes Wide Shut with Tom Cruise and Nichole Kidman ignited the concept of secret erotic costume parties and adults everywhere took the idea and ran with it.
We like the idea of having one time a year where we can indulge our more erotic fantasies without necessarily revealing our identities. What better time to explore?
Women Taking The Lead
One of the reasons Halloween has continued to be a popular adult party is because women have increasingly taken the lead in exploring their more erotic fantasies. Let’s face it, of all the “sexy” costumes out there, most are for women. This isn’t just because women have embraced the concept, but also the fact that, sadly, too many guys think that showing off their junk is sexy. Sorry guys, it’s not and it never will be. Since too many men are clueless when it comes to erotic fantasies, women have dominated the topic and take charge of directing the conversation.
Since women’s sexuality is their focus, the folks over at lelo.com asked women to rank their sexual fantasies. Here’s where the poll current stands as I’m writing:
- Oral sex.
- Submission.
- Bondage.
- Threesomes
- Anal sex.
- Exhibitionism.
- Exploring Bicuriosity.
- Pegging (manual prostate massage).
- Domination
- Orgies
A couple of things about that list are worth notice. First, it is a live poll so rankings change based on the people participating. Second, there’s nothing that prohibits men from voting as well, so the rankings could be skewed in a few places. This isn’t a scientific poll so the level of trustworthiness isn’t all that high.
Still, what the poll does show us is that women’s fantasies are changing and that they are definitely something they want to explore. The best-selling book 50 Shades of Grey is likely at least partially responsible for Submission and Bondage ranking so high on the poll at the moment, but these have always been a portion of the content of women’s fantasies. Why do you think the book sold so well in the first place? Fantasies, not the presence of great literature, propelled the book to the top of sales charts. Women have some imaginative fantasies and enjoy being in charge of fulfilling them.
Halloween Is The Right Time
If we’re so big on exploring our fantasies, though, why do we wait until Halloween to do anything about them? Blame a very judgmental and sexist society. While almost everyone enjoys letting their freaky side out every once in a while, we’re fearful of being “outed” for our sexual proclivities. Women get the worst of it. Slut-shaming has long been a problem in our society; one that starts even in elementary school and gets worse from there. Anyone who publicly displays any level of sexual indulgence is ridiculed, mocked, and socially derided. Â Not exactly a good atmosphere for trying something new and possibly kinky.
The costumed craziness of Halloween gives us a chance to play around a bit without all the risks. If everyone is being a little freaky then one person’s indulgences aren’t as likely to stand out as much. Clever costumes can even allow one a level of denial if ever charged with behavior not typically acceptable in a public setting. The erotic charge of the holiday has become common enough that any out-of-the-ordinary behavior is easily excused. “We were just goofing off, playing around,” are words often heard on November 1.
The thing about fantasies is that we’re not always sure we’ll really like them if we try them. Halloween gives us a chance to explore without being fully committed. Yet, what happens at Halloween can develop into a lot more than just “playing around.” Indulging in our fantasies can be freeing not only on a sexual level, but in our relationships as well. What starts hidden behind a mask can ultimately help us define who we are. We have the potential to find new strengths and hidden pleasures we didn’t know existed.
A Little Preparation
Not every fantasy is one that a person just jumps into by donning a costume. Just as there are things we do to protect our children while they’re out trick-or-treating, there are precautions adults should take before jumping head-first into  a fantasy they’ve never tried. A little reading and a lot of communication with your partner(s) is generally a safe place to start.
Again, the folks at Lelo have some good suggestions for those just starting out.
- if you’re unsure about oral sex, check out this article as well as this one.
- Interested in submission? I strongly suggest you start by reading this article.
- Bondage requires some caution, so read this before giving it a try.
- Before even thinking about a threesome, you want to consider these details.
- Anal sex can be painful if not done correctly. Read this before you go there.
- Exhibitionism is more than just flashing the bouncer. You need to read this.
- Bicurious? Chances are you have a friend who can help but if you’re shy then take a look at this.
- Pegging also requires some care and caution. Please read this and talk to your partner before trying anything new.
- 47% of women fantasize about being dominant. For some, it’s easy. For everyone else, start here.
- Orgies can be loads of fun, but there are both rules and cautions one needs to heed.
With a little planning, Halloween can be a wonderfully expressive opportunity for you to explore and try new things. We all need an opportunity to indulge our more erotic thoughts. Decide on what you want to try, choose a creatively erotic costume, and have fun! The best treats are the ones that leave a smile on your face the next morning. Enjoy!
What A Fool Believes
What he sees he don’t believe
The Short Version
While the president and those sympathetic to him rant on about fake news and lying reporters, the true onus is on citizens who are far too willing to believe anything they read or hear based on their existing biases. If the narrative of a story supports their belief system, a person is more likely to believe something at face value without checking for validation of the source.
The Dirty Details
I have been a fan of the rock group The Doobie Brothers since I was in high school, which as a very, very long time ago. One of the band’s biggest hits, penned by Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald, is What A Fool Believes. The song is about a guy who refuses to accept that the girl for whom he longs wasn’t into him back in the day and he still doesn’t stand a chance now. Yet, he keeps believing, despite all the evidence to the contrary. He, therefore, is a fool.
The song is catchy enough to make abject desperation sound attractive. Take a listen.
I’m going to guess that anyone over 30, maybe younger depending on one’s life experience, knows someone like this. You can’t tell them anything. They have their mind made up, whether it’s about a girl or the quality of food at a restaurant or how “dope” their first car was. We see them trying to get a girl they’ll never get, or still trying to relive 1979, and we just shake our heads. There’s nothing anyone can do to sway their course.
When a fool latches onto a belief, they don’t let go no matter how much evidence to the contrary one presents them with. Facts are irrelevant. Like the guy in the song, they keep replaying the fantasy in their mind and even as she stands up to walk away, he doesn’t realize his mistake. Fools never do. They’re blind to what is so obvious to everyone else.
Part of the problem with people like this is that we have always tolerated their foolishness. So he wants to pine for a girl that he can’t have. Okay, just let it go. What harm can it do to let him have that fantasy?
Yet, one fantasy leads to another. Fools surround themselves with the tales they want to hear, blocking out reality piece by piece until they are totally out of touch and disconnected. Eventually, they are no longer able to function within society. At that point, we often stop calling them fools and start calling them crazy, which is a bit insulting to people with real mental illness. With such a strong disconnect from reality, these people become a danger to themselves and others.
How bad can it get? Let me show you what happens when a fool is confronted with reality (with apologies should an ad run in front of the embedded video):
See what he did there? The deflection is first, “Well, that was just information that was given to me,” and then seconds later, “I saw it around somewhere.”
Let’s not be confused by the facts, is what the president means to say. He doesn’t even get the number of his own electoral college votes correct. For the record, that number is 304, not 306, and yes, it matters because it’s the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie. As for the claim that his victory was the biggest? Again, let’s not engage in any form of information other than the facts:
That last one, Bush Sr.’s 462 electoral votes, is especially important because the president attempts to head off the reporter’s facts by saying interrupting with “among Republicans.” No sir, not even among Republicans.
One has to wonder why the president continues to engage in this electoral college penis measuring contest when time after time he’s proven to lose. His victory is not the largest. Not even close.
Oh yeah, the song explains that, doesn’t it?
He came from somewhere back in here long ago
The sentimental fool don’t see
Tryin’ hard to recreate what had yet to be created
Repetition. That’s the name of the game. Â Building off the concept that if one repeats a lie often enough that it becomes truth, the president and those around him continue to claim their victory was large because they want the lie to become truth. Repeat. Rewind. Repeat. Rewind.
Fools believe some incredible things and we’ve tolerated them for years and years. Only now, with fools in charge of the government, what a fool believes can actually put the rest of us in danger.
Let’s take, for example, the whole concept that we need clean drinking water to live. Only a fool would believe anything different, right? The amount of evidence is overwhelming. I mean, all we have to do is point toward Flint, Michigan as an example, right?
But then, THIS happened just this week:
Because, you know, who needs clean water when it puts a few hundred (not thousands) of jobs at risk?
What a fool believes, he sees
No wise man has the power
To reason away
What it seems to be
Is always better than nothin’
And nothin’ at all
Foolishness isn’t limited only to certain heads of state, of course. There are fools all over the place saying all kinds of crazy things. Let’s consider this fool for a moment:
Take a really good look at those pictures. I dare you. Try to not laugh too hard, I’d hate for you to hurt yourself. If you think you’re seeing a depiction of really burly humans fighting really small dinosaurs in gladiator-style combat, you’re not mistaken. That would be exactly what Ken Ham and the fools at Ark Encounter believe.
Never mind that dinosaurs were extinct more than 64 million years before homo sapiens ever began evolving, let alone learned how to work out and get all buff. Fools can’t be bothered with things like science because it gets in the way of their fantasy. In fact, fools like this do their best to demonize science so that they can believe whatever the hell they want without those nasty little facts spoiling their totally unrealistic story.
Now, it would be one thing if we were pulling stories from, say, twenty-five years ago. Something pre-Internet where there was no wealth of factual information not only at your fingertips but sufficiently indexed so that you can find it in a reasonable amount of time. AKA: the Dark Ages. We’re not going that far back, though. Everything I’ve mentioned so far has happened this week! And guess what? I’m not done! There’s still more!
This next one really pains me a bit because it involves someone whose work I’ve respected for a very long time. I’m going to post a video that is over an hour long. Watch as much of it as you wish. However, be very much aware that these are fools talking.
https://youtu.be/DqWhzKewILk
Please, allow me to fast forward through the horseshit for you. What is being claimed here is that vaccines, you know the shots we get starting at birth to prevent really horrible and deadly disease, are dangerous. So dangerous, in fact, that famed actor Robert De Niro, and cousin that always pops up looking for free food Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., are offering a $100,000 reward for anyone who can “prove” that vaccines are safe.
Dear Mr. DeNiro, Here’s your proof: How many people do you know with polio? None, correct? There’s your proof that the vaccine works. Please give Dr. Jonas Salk the reward. Okay, since he’s not around, perhaps the Salk Legacy Foundation could use the funds. The science has endured over 60 years of continued research and still shows to be effective in defending us against disease.
Now, does every vaccine work with such a high rate of efficacy? Nope. We’re not silly enough to believe that, either. What we do believe, though, is that, among the general population, vaccines are the best way of preventing common forms of disease.
What’s scary about this particular set of fools is that they’ve been telling this same lie, perpetuating this same fantasy, for so very long now that people whose opinions we once respected are being taken in. If otherwise intelligent beings can be fooled, what does that do to the very large portion of the population for whom intelligence is a pipe dream? Those are the ones who fail to vaccinate their children, thereby putting all the other children around them at risk. These people aren’t just fools, these people are dangerous!
There are times when I am tempted to think that the Internet is nothing more than one giant tabloid. The kind of things that fools are willing to believe is extensive and, quite honestly, embarrassing to the human race. When we have mountains of evidence supporting the facts and we still refuse to believe them, can our own extinction be very far behind? I remember laughing at the people we would see picking up tabloids at the grocery. I can’t laugh at all the people reading the same kind of nonsense on the Internet because there’s too many of them! I’d crack a rib from laughing if it wasn’t so scary at the same time.
What gets me is that young people, people who have had the opportunity to be educated in such matters, are still believing in some of the same fairy tales that were common when I was a kid. Again, sticking with things that happened just this week.
No, I didn’t blur the names. Fools need to be called out on their foolishness. Part of what bothers me is that this is such an old myth and has been disproven so many times that it isn’t even funny. Yet, just as with everything else we’ve listed, people are still believing this nonsense. The whole issue of chemtrails goes back to 1958 when NASA started using lithium in the launch of certain rockets in order to better observe certain atmospheric conditions. Conspiracy theorists twisted the science and ran with it.
NASA is now and always has been very open about the vapor trails they use, what’s in them, the amounts used, and why the use is necessary. They have an entire section of their website devoted to this funny thing we keep mentioning called the facts.
What might be even more disturbing from Amee’s post, however, is the belief shared by many like her that the government is trying to kill us. Kill us all. Dead. I have some problems with this concept.
First, if jet vapor is the means of dispersal for whatever poison is being spread among us, it’s not working. We are, generally speaking, living longer and healthier than any generation before us. So much so, in fact, that the leading causes of death in the USÂ are our own fault due to silly things such as overeating and lack of exercise. We are doing a much better job of killing ourselves than the government is.
I’ve been watching jet vapor trails since I was a small boy. If anyone was in a position to be poisoned at an early age, it would be me. Yet, here I am, perhaps not the healthiest person in the world, but what ails me is in no way the result of any kind of external poisoning, either by the government or that cook I accidentally insulted back in SoHo.
The nonsense surrounding ways in which the government is allegedly trying to poison us is nothing short of insane. Do a quick search and you see claims that the government is really heavily involved in this whole trying to kill us scheme. They’re allegedly using:
On and on this list goes and it leaves the logical mind thinking that if the government really is trying to poison then, they’re really, really bad at it. Why would I say that? We’re all still alive. We have more centenarians living now than at any time in the past two thousand years. In fact, we’re so very good at staying alive that we have exceeded the planet’s level of sustainability for all of us. We passed that point back in 2009.
Oh, and let’s not bother thinking about the lack of logic in trying to solve the world’s overpopulation problems by killing off Americans. The population of the United States is largely insignificant on a global scale that encompasses some 7.5 BILLION people. Now, for those of you who are not stellar at math, the current US population is only around 375 million, so we don’t even take up the .5 in the global calculation. If one is going to perform a mass genocide in the name of sustainability, one needs to start on a different, more populous continent.
She musters a smile for his nostalgic tale
Never comin’ near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was
The frightening thing at this juncture is that the list of fools goes on and on. We’ve not even touched on those who still believe things such as trickle-down economics or that a “paleo” diet is healthy. There are hundreds of belief systems that are nothing more than pure foolishness and believed by pure fools. Trying to list them all would be exhausting and, quite honestly, I have better things to do.
People whose wisdom far surmounts mine have written of fools before. Perhaps we would do well to heed their advice:
It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere. -Voltaire
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. -Plato
The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places. -Bryant H. McGill
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. -Bertrand Russell
Wise men don’t need advice. Fools won’t take it. -Benjamin Franklin
The wise have always said the same things, and fools, who are the majority have always done just the opposite. -Arthur Schopenhauer
And then, there’s the Doobie Brothers, who know what a fool believes. And every time there’s a White House press conference now, I keep hearing that song in the back of my mind.
Immediately followed by this:
When will they ever learn?
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