Those We Hold Dear

PotD / Social Commentary

Those We Hold Dear

November 14, 2015

Dear sisters and brothers, we realize the importance of light when we see darkness.—Malala Yousafzai

Katherine (2015)

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]I was up early this morning, reading through the various news accounts of all that has happened in the past twenty-four hours. Even before I kicked myself out of bed, I wondered if I should abandon our theme and speak directly to the tragedies that have taken place. Without a doubt, this is a very solemn morning and it is not inappropriate that we might gather those we hold dear, hug each one tightly, and be thankful for the breath we breathe.

We have been reminded, once again, that tragedy is a severe part of the human existence. Those who are precious to us, whose lives are most dear, can be taken quickly, and it doesn’t take terrorists for that to happen. As I was scrolling through my newsfeed this morning, there was a taste of sadness much more personal and close to home in the small town of Red Oak, Oklahoma, where a dear soul suffered a heart attack and died as the library she managed was robbed. Red Oak is a small town of about 400 people, from where my brother and I graduated high school. The loss of one there is perhaps even more upsetting to that community that the loss of well over a hundred in Paris.

Faces around the world are filled with sadness, anger, and disbelief this morning. For far too many people, pictures of dear ones are now all they have left, underscoring yet again why photographs are so important. Faces of those we love are not faces we wish to ever forget, no matter what happens in the near or distant future. We want to remember the smiles, the laughter, the silliness, the greatness, the beauty, and the uniqueness of those we love. The relatively small price of portraits is irrelevant compared to the value of the memories these pictures hold.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]Kat may throw something at me when she sees the caption under her picture this morning. “Only my dad calls me Katherine,” she’ll likely say. I’ll remind her that I also used the boys’ full names with their pictures earlier in the week and am just being consistent. She will, depending upon the presence of children, toss me a look or a gesture communicating her displeasure, then continue with her reading.

I take many more pictures of Kat than what I post, but of all this year’s portraits this one may be my favorite. I don’t know what anyone else sees, but I look at this photograph and see the face of one who loves to love; not just me, not just her children, but most anyone she meets who isn’t a complete asshole. Here is a face of one who forgives, encourages, sacrifices, and labors for those she holds dear; one who has served her country and values its freedoms. I love this face.

The winds that have plagued Indianapolis the past two days are finally calm. Dear friends in Paris are confirmed safe and well. Children have slept past their typical far-too-early wake-up time. Tragedy and terror and sadness are not going to overwhelm the day here.

Not everyone in the world shares that reality, though, and our heart goes out to those who wake up this morning without the face of that loved one to greet them, whether in Paris, or Red Oak, or anywhere else. Through all that has happened, and whatever might yet come, may we all know Peace, may we all find Hope, and may the faces of those we hold dear bring us Joy.[/one_half_last]

PotD

Many Faces Of A Mom

November 12, 2015

She had a hit for every syllable: ‘Don’t. You. Ever. Talk. To. Me. Like. That. Ever. Again.’ That was the last time I ever talked back to Mom.—Misty May-Treanor

Brittney Jo (2015)

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]Moms come with more facial expressions than anyone else on the planet, and they know exactly when to use each one. There’s no class they have to take, there are no books they have to read, by the time a young woman suffers through nine months of carrying a child who has poked, kicked, and punched every internal organ she has, she has an entire encyclopaedia of facial expressions ready for that child and is just waiting for the opportunity to use each one of them. A mom is not someone with whom one messes around.

Mom faces are unique in that only your mom’s expressions work on you. Your best friend’s mom can give you the same face and you just blow it off like, “Meh, she’s miffed, but what’s she really gonna do about it.” When your mom gives you a look, though, you know what she can do on the follow-up and you know you don’t want her to go there, especially in front of your buddies. By the time you’re nine or ten and starting to think of some really serious trouble, your mom has those looks down so well she hardly even has to speak to you. You just meet her eyes and you know; either she loves you more than anything, or one more slip up and she’s burning your bed on the front lawn.

I don’t think moms, especially young moms, really have much choice than to develop those facial expressions. They have so many other things going on around them, they don’t always have time to give a child the tongue lashing they deserve. I can remember some Sunday mornings when my mother would be singing in the church choir, smiling away until she saw that I wasn’t in my seat, but under the pew playing with the car I’d snuck into m suit pocket. She’d keep smiling until our eyes met. Pow. I was done for, my future was sealed and it wasn’t going to be pleasant. All that in one very brief glance that most people probably never noticed.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]Brittney’s made some interesting faces over the few years I’ve known her. Rolling her eyes is a frequent one that adults are likely to get. Then, there’s that frustrated sigh when people who should be listening don’t. Brittney is a retail manager so sometimes she has to treat both employees and customers as though they were misbehaving children, and out come the danger looks; it’s a necessity of the job. Then, when she is around her own two darling and energetic little boys, there is a totally different set of looks ranging from complete adoration to I’m-Going-To-Sell-You-To-The-First-Circus-I-Find.

There is not anyone who can achieve as much with a single glance as can a mom. One look and you sit up straight and stop pinching your sister. One look and you hear yourself confessing to stealing the last cookie. One look and you really wish the whole earth would just open up and swallow you.

One look and you know you are loved and cherished more than anything or anyone in the world.

I’ve seen comedians who could make a lot of different faces, but no one is as effective as is a mom; it’s a talent inherent to the position. You’re not going to beat them, ever, not even after you’re a mom yourself. I’ve watched it happen while I was backing slowly away trying to not make any noise. The older mom won. No contest. I’m pretty sure I felt the earth shake, though. All the more reason to be good to y our mom. You don’t want that disappointed I-gave-birth-to-you look.

Behave. Mom’s watching. [/one_half_last]

PotD

Mischievous Grins

November 9, 2015

If I’m writing something and I’m not feeling mischievous, then I know it’s not going to be great.—Elizabeth Meriwether

Gabriel (2015)

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]One of the most attractive things about faces is their ability to smile. There are as many different kinds of smiles as there are people, but the ones that get my attention the fastest are those who don’t give you those big, toothy smiles, but rather those who just give you a mischievous grin. If you look, you’ll often find a bit of a sparkle in their eye which is indicative of an active mind; one just has to be a bit concerned as to what that activity might entail.

Some faces just have a mischievous look to them. Like any other smile, that grin can stick and people who have worn one for years might as well have, “here comes trouble” painted across their forehead. Not that they are bad people in any way. I think being mischievous is probably a greater sign of intelligence than what one finds on a standardized test form because mischievous people are creative and imaginative first of all. The problem is that their imagination tends to run well outside any box, resulting in actions and behavior than can be surprising.

Mischievous people are important to society because they challenge the boundaries of what we consider normal and conventional. Tell a mischievous child that a given action is unacceptable and watch them perform that action almost immediately. Why? Because they want to see if you were correct or just trying to coerce them into observing a set of rules that, from their perspective, don’t make any sense. So, they do what we would rather they do it, their little faces grinning the entire time.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]Gabriel is the youngest of my three sons. I often tell people that he was born mischievous; it is part of his identity. When he was born, the nurses whisked him away to a nearby table to clean him up and check his APGAR scores. Nana, his maternal grandmother, followed along, anxious and excited as nanas tend to be about the arrival of a new grandchild. In her excitement, Nana got a little too close. Pow! Gabriel let’s loose an impressive arc of pee and hits his Nana right in the face. The little guy was less than five minutes old and already showing his personality. Doctors say babies don’t really smile, but I’m pretty sure I saw his first grin that morning.

Mischievous grins can, at times, be difficult to catch. Mischievous people often have a very dry wit and a sense of humor that allows them to deliver sarcasm with a straight face so that one is never really quite sure whether they’re serious or not. The give-away is the quick flash of that grin, the brief sparkle in their eye that lets you know they’re just having fun keeping everyone else on edge.

Society, and parents, tend to be easily frustrated by mischievous people because they are constantly finding uncomfortable ways of showing us our shortcomings. They seem to inherently see behind our façades and then find creative, and often humiliating, ways of calling us out. Yet, whether or not we want to admit it, mischievous challenges are often correct, and that smile is their way of celebrating. Embrace them; they’re smarter than we are.[/one_half_last]

Photography / PotD

That Face

November 8, 2015

Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend.—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Amanda (2006)

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]That face. Let the clichès begin. There are dozens of them, well-known sayings such as the line from Groucho Marx, “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll gladly make an exception.” Then, there are multiple versions of the inspirational instruction that keeping one’s face toward the sun keeps shadows behind them. Of course, no one ever mentions that such a habit ages one’s skin much more rapidly, requiring tremendous amounts of care to avoid melanoma, but that just doesn’t sound anywhere nearly as inspiring, does it?

I am a huge fan of the Mel Brooks musical The Producers, so when the topic of faces comes up my mind immediately races to the closest thing that production has to a love song:

That face, that face, that dangerous face
I mustn’t be unwise
Those lips, that nose, those eyes
Could lead to my demise

That face, that face, that marvelous face
I never should begin
Those cheeks, that neck, that chin
Will surely do me in

…

That face, that face, that fabulous face
It’s clear I must beware
I’m certain if I fall in love, I’m lost without a trace
But it’s worth it for that face

Faces are special if for no other reason than our face holds our public identity; it is the association by which most people know us and no relationship, business or personal, has any depth without that recognition factor. The face may be the most important thing we photograph.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]Not all faces are created equal, though. The late comedian Rodney Dangerfield delighted in making fun of his own face. One of his favorites was:

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Similarly, comedienne Phyllis Diller had some issues with some of the pictures taken of her:

My photographs don’t do me justice – they just look like me.

and also:

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Regardless of whether one considers their face attractive, however, the face remains that one body part that is inescapably you. Some people opt for surgery in an effort to “improve” their face, or at least prevent it from looking its age, but rarely is such an exercise genuinely beneficial. Not to mention the fact that I see little benefit in trying to improve anything external when the person inside is still just as rotten as ever.

So, here we go with a week of faces. Sure, it may kill my weekly hit count given the fact that, as we’ve proven before, some people only visit when there’s a naked person in the picture, but I really don’t care. Just be glad that I chose pretty faces and not my own; I’m saving those for next week.[/one_half_last]