experience
With great thanks to all those who wished us well yesterday, we move forward into a new week that seems bound to substitute cacophony for content. Yes, a father pardoned a son. For all the screams and howls, the pedantic protests are superfluous. Empty rhetoric carries no consequence. There is no power in a 100-day agenda, either. Rules must still be followed. There is no penalty for time taken. Media desperate for eye-catching headlines stoke fear where there is no danger.
Take a moment. Breathe. We’ve wound our emotions so tightly that we’re ruining the things that should bring pleasure. People have gotten hurt. Fines are being levied. If the loss of a game adversely affects one’s life, does not the consequence belong to you, not the team? Media encourages putting money at risk, but your hands place the bet. The money you lose profits those already rich. Better we watch the games in silence than bring ourselves to hatred and poverty.
Worry gets us nowhere. Already, natural elements fight against the empty threats of a blithering fool. Tree workers with chainsaws are more dangerous to your grandparents than most political threats. Snow threatens more lives than do meaningless embassy appointments. Most of us choose the content our eyes see. If we choose to linger among the purveyors of fear then we create for ourselves an environment of concern. Can we not peruse information elsewhere? Are there no books that need to be read? Solutions are seldom found on a web page.
December offers too many alternatives to fear. Art installations are almost everywhere this time of year. Whose heart is not buoyed by spending time with pieces of beauty? Networks do their best to shove elements of peace and goodwill at us whether we observe a holiday or not. After spending more than $10 billion on Friday, Shoppers are likely to set another record today. Need support? Here, buy this bra. If all you do is sit at home and worry, there is no one to blame for your angst but yourself.
Even as we look toward the new year, perhaps the best response to all the drama is to take an art class. It may well add another seven years to your life. At least, Jane Fonda thinks so. Yesterday’s video is included for your benefit.
Getting older doesn’t mean dreams age, either. Thinking one is 18 again, attending a prom that never happened, fortunate that the vomit wasn’t real, and neither was the rejection, shows how flexible our minds can be.
Although, thinking I’m being kissed passes from joy to disappointment when I wake and find that it is only Solaris nibbling at my face, wanting food.
There are reasons to smile today. Look away from your screen and you may find them.
Where do we go from here? One of the struggles we all face is that we don’t always get to determine what happens next. We are more frequently pushed across thresholds than we are carried across joyfully. Even when an invitation seems like a good idea at the time, once we’re involved we discover that we’re trapped, unable to go back. Neither do we all share identical experiences through the same time portal. One shuts down an office while another prepares for new life. We may look through the same window yet see different pictures. Is what happens to us next a good thing or will another 350,831 of us die?
Who am I to judge the guilt or innocence of another? Someone must, for there can be no justice without judgment. Am I impartial enough to hold another’s fate in my hands? We may never know, for once again, my service has been declined. What I do know is that justice, no matter how measured, is a highly opinionated beast. Are courts best suited to determine when one begins thinking and acting like an adult? Are schools best suited for religious indoctrination? A country run by criminals has little care for justice.
I look across the bed at the dogs sprawled out, sleeping; they are warm and well-fed. They are not aware of changes until they happen. A differently flavored treat is still a treat. Water outside apparently tastes the same as water inside. They are not bothered by incongruities or worried by idle threats. They do not care what I might cook next week nor how many presents I give next month. Neither do they look at my dwindling account balance and worry whether they’ll be fed. Their food has already been purchased. The dogs sleep blissfully unaware of my angst.
We have transitioned into being a country that champions criminals more than heroes. Perhaps that explains the election outcome. Our desire to see an underdog win outstrips our need for justice. We care less for the number of bodies left in their wake when we have already convinced ourselves that, on one level or another, they deserved to die. Knowing that the wizard has no real power does not keep him from being revered in Oz.
Stubbornly, I dig in my heels. There are thresholds I do not want to cross. Yet, how can I hold your hand if we do not step together? I cannot help those in danger if I’m left standing behind a closed door. I walk into the future not because I care for my own but because I care for those around me. The adventures we face are different than those behind us, but together, we both survive.
I have met my minimum word count. There’s coffee on the other side of the door. This threshold I walk through without hesitation.
I felt nothing.
I have never been in the midst of so much noise, so much chaos, and felt absolutely nothing. More than once, fireworks quite literally went off at my feet, leaving my ears ringing for several minutes. Nothing.
Perhaps it’s because we’ve lost our independence, let our liberty be destroyed, and let our freedom become subjected by right-wing tyrants that, quite honestly, aren’t even close to any legitimate form of Christianity. We’ve played into their hands with our missive that everybody has a right to their opinion, but when someone’s opinion steps on my rights? No, sorry, you don’t have the right to do that.
No one has the right to take away a woman’s autonomy over her body.
No one has the right to take away a trans youth’s identity.
No one has the right to take away a gay individual’s personhood.
No one gets to deny scientific facts without other proven facts.
No one gets to claim immunity for crimes regardless of what their job is.
No one gets to lead while tearing others down.
So no, I don’t respect your opinion. When you’re wrong, you’re just plain wrong.
Be offended. I don’t care.
Has it really been two years since I processed a new photo taken with a real camera? Yes, it has quite sadly been that long, and a lot has changed in the processing of those images. Still, despite the extra time, it was still quite delightful to have something in front of me that I hadn’t already processed two or three times before. This is the type of fun that could easily get addictive, you know. I might start trying to take this up as a profession… oh, wait, already did that, didn’t we?
I have to give a HUGE thanks to Jennifer Tuttle for inviting me along on the trip with her daughter Ali. I also have to thank her husband, Carl, for allowing me to use his Nikon D5600 and 200-500mm zoom lens. Not having shot a Nikon in over 20 years, it took a minute to figure out the controls, but everything seemed to work fairly well and there weren’t too many shots lost because of my fumbling. The biggest issue I had was that my hands shake so much more now, especially with the heavier glass. There were some potentially delightful pictures of a spider trapped in the sand but they were simply too blurred from all the shake.
I have saved a couple of shots back for use at some other time, but for the most part the pictures below are representative of almost everything we saw during the day. It was a thrilling adventure that beats the hell out of lying in bed all day because the damn weather won’t cooperate. I hope you enjoy the photos (and that this slider works on whatever device you’re using).
Years have passed since the world needed a top-notch spy who could also sink a three-pointer from half-court paint. But now, as a new danger has been discovered, she’s back and she’s determined to stop those who excuse Nazi ovens, deny people the right to their own land, and threaten the sanity of the planet. Dressed in a plain brown trench coat, she walks casually into buildings around the world, searching out clues for the mastermind behind the whole plot. She’s never caught as she undresses in a hidden room and leaves without anyone noticing. When she’s sure she’s found the source of the trouble, she radios in an air strike. The only problem is, can she get out before the bombs fall?
Should there ever come a day when I stop loving photography, please go ahead and shoot me on the spot. I know I’m old and kinda creepy looking and not as much fun to hang out with as when I was younger, but I still love photographic imagery. I love what is possible now. I have so many more ideas floating about in my head now than I ever did back in the film days. I miss shooting every day. I miss working with fantastic creative teams. And yeah, I miss walking into restaurants with a hot model on my arm. Those were absolutely the best of days and I long deeply for them to return, though I know I’ll never be up to being what I was 20 years ago.
While I may have stopped shooting three years ago, I haven’t stopped caring about my images. As the technology for processing them improves and as I think of different ways to present them, I fill at least a portion of almost every day going back and rethinking many of those images. While advancements in AI have opened a lot of doors, which makes it easier to change my mind about an image, there’s a lot it still can’t do. One of the big issues is high-end resolution. Bottom line: the higher the resolution of the RAW image, the more flexible it is when we start tearing them apart and rebuilding them.
My first digital camera, purchased in 2003, was a three-megapixel (MP) Nikon. I was amazed at what it could do, but it was basically only good for online images. Printing anything larger than 5×7″ was out of the question and even that was stretching the technology a bit. Late in 2004, I jumped up to a 5MP Canon. The difference was phenomenal and I could now print 8×10″ images and my biggest worry would be color matching (I spent a lot of time in print shops in those days). Over the years, we graduated to 13MP, then 18MP, and finally, 27MP before health and finances made me stop. At 18MP and up, I can get a decent 20×36″ print, and looks incredibly sharp hanging on my wall. So, everything’s cool, right?
Not at all. You see, once you start messing with a digital picture, you impact the depth of its quality. When you save a photo in JPEG (.jpg) format, you roughly half its resolution. You lose half of the information that was available to you in RAW format (BTW, if you’re not shooting in RAW, you’re an idiot and shouldn’t call yourself a professional; you’re a hobbyist at best. I may be retired but I still have standards). When you crop an image, the relative number of MP goes down. If you copy/paste portions from a RAW image into a new image, you only keep a fraction of the data that created that image. Your quality is compromised and if you’re not going for quality, then what the hell are you doing? While MP isn’t the only consideration in creating quality images, it’s still a pretty damn important consideration.
Let’s chase a rabbit for a second. The RAW image on which the picture above is based measures 4272×2848 pixels at 28.38MP and a bit depth of 14. By contrast, the image you see above is 6000 x 4000 pixels (20×13.3″) at 24MP and a bit depth of 8. We used Adobe’s Firefly AI to change the background and create the image of the camera in the foreground, The background image was barely 4MP and the camera rounds out to 3.5MP once the background was removed. That low resolution required some careful upscaling to work in the final image. However, I feel confident that we could pull a full-sized print and it looks presentable. [BTW, the censors at Adobe are apparently all Republicans. I had to go outside of Photoshop to create the background and camera because it said our base image violated its terms of service, ie, too damn close to being nude. Generating the AI in image would have avoided the need for upsizing.]
Okay, getting back on topic, what sparked this post in the first place was I got an ad on Facebook for an event introducing Canon’s new C400 Cinema Camera. I clicked on the ad because, yeah, the subject’s interesting. I’m never going to need one, but it’s still interesting. That led to me getting an ad for Canon’s EOS R3 mirrorless. With a retail price tag of $4,500+, you’d think this baby would be a beast of a camera. But while it has a stupidly high ISO range of 102400 and can shoot continuous 12 FPS (30 electronic), it’s only 24MP! WHY? The EOS R5 has been at 45MP for a while and only has a price tag of $2,900. Why the fuck are we paying more to go backward? Am I the only one who sees that as an absolutely stupid move? Explain this to me, Canon!
Of course, you know how Facebook works. Once you click on one ad in a group, all you get are competitive ads within the same group. Scroll down, and there’s an ad for Nikon’s new Z6iii. Their electronic shutter goes all the way up to 120 fps! Native shutter speeds go all the way up to 1/16,000 sec! I guess everyone’s trying to catch hummingbird wings without a strobe now. That’s about the only thing that requires those speeds. The $2,500 price tag beats the hell out of Canon’s R3, BUT, it’s still only a 24.5MP box! The older D850 has 45.7MP and the price goes down to $2,300! So again, why are we charging more for a lower-quality result?? This is making absolutely NO SENSE. Dear Nikon: explain this to me like I’m 5.
Almost immediately, an ad for a Sony event pops up. What do they have? Their new Alpha 9 iii. Coming in heavy at $6K (WTF?) They’re touting a new global shutter full-frame image sensor that I’d have to see in action (eg, hold in my hand and shoot under challenging conditions), 120fps “blackout-free” continuous shooting, and a max shutter speed of 1/80,000 sec. Again, what the living fuck are you folks shooting that is so damn fast? Comets move slower! And what about the quality of the fucking images? 24.6MP! I can get that from a ten-year-old Alpha 7! Back in July of 2019, five years ago, Sony introduced the Alpha 7RIV at a whopping 61MP! However, that camera has been discontinued! They came back with the Alpha 7RIVa at a price of around $2,500. Yes, the back screen is lower quality. Why the fuck do you need a back screen in the first place? No, it’s not as fast. But goddammit, the difference in quality is more than double! There’s no point in asking Sony for an explanation because even they admit they don’t know why they’ve not continued to improve that line.
The story is the same across all the various lines such as Fuji and Pentax. All the new boxes coming out would rather play with extremes that maybe .01% of photographers need or even have a clue how to use than give us cameras that can capture images so astonishing you’d swear they were real. I don’t fucking get it.
Yes, there are cameras that blow the top off in terms of megapixels available. Among those:
- Hasselblad S2D 100 C 100MP on a mirrorless medium format camera. $8,199.00 and beats the hell out of anything listed above, Sony.
- Phase One IQ4 Infinity platform digital backs, paired with Phase One XF platform bodies. 150MP digital mirrorless medium format. $55,990. Out of most people’s price range, but you’ll get one helluva picture.
- Fujifilm GFX 100II mirrorless medium format at 100MP. This is possibly the most versatile medium-format camera on the planet. Most retailers price it around $7,500.
Those are all medium-format cameras, though. Medium-format is typically a studio-only camera, or, at the very least, one you pack around with extreme care. I’ve traveled with Hasselblads back in the film days. Their cases were so carefully constructed that you could have carried the Queen’s crystal in those boxes without worrying about nicks. I don’t expect any medium-format camera to not be fragile. You don’t take them out into the marsh. You don’t stand with one in turn one of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. You don’t take one to the summit of any mountain that has snow on top year-round. They’re not built for rugged outdoor shooting.
I question, though, whether contemporary photographers are built for rugged outdoor shooting. Maybe the issue isn’t that camera companies have lost their minds and their drive. Maybe it’s something closer to the fact that photographers today are lazy. They want more bells and whistles on the camera so that the camera does most of the work for them. They want the camera to focus on multiple faces. They want the camera to calculate depth of field for them. They want the camera to choose the optimal settings. They want crystal-clear 120fps back screens so that they don’t have to put their eye up to a viewfinder. They want to be able to put the camera on a tripod, walk away, and use a remote control to take the picture regardless of what changes in the environment.
More than anything, though, contemporary photographers don’t care about print quality. Their images are digital and temporary. They don’t care that they’re not going to be able to find them in five years. They’ll still be somewhere online, right? Probably reduced to a pathetic 72dpi because on screens anything higher doesn’t matter. Who wants to see pictures ten, fifteen, 20 years from now, anyway?
Yeah, about that… If you’re not taking pictures to preserve a moment for all time, then why the fuck did you pick up a camera to begin with? What makes photographs valuable is that they’re timeless. The photo I take today can show my grandchildren (if I’m ever so lucky) how I changed as I age, how chemo changed how I look, how I dress, and the activities I engage in. And for those photos to survive twenty, forty, or 100 years into the future, I need prints. Good, high-quality prints. And while there are multiple factors to getting good quality prints, it all starts with a good quality camera at the highest resolution you can afford.
So, why on earth would you spend $6K on a toy, when you can spend less than half that and get a camera that produces better pictures? Why would anyone sell a camera that makes a lower-quality picture? Why are they not trying to improve the quality of the picture, not how easy it is to grab a photo of your food?
I don’t understand. And if there’s a camera company out there that needs me to demonstrate to them how the less expensive camera produces a higher-quality image, my email address is charles@charlesiletbetter.com. Sponsor me. I’ll pack my chemo pills and we’ll do a five-year project going around the world, then we’ll do a three-year exhibition of the photos. You’ll be amazed at the quality of the images. I promise you. I may be old, but I’ll outshoot anyone working with a brand-new 24MP camera.
[BTW, in 2009, I shot the Indianapolis 500 with a 13MP camera whose back screen didn’t function. Screw the back screen. We sold every image.]
Being without my primary PC for a few days has given me the opportunity to really get to know some of the photo editing software on my Chromebook. Adobe Lightroom is workable though cumbersome, especially if an image only needs basic edits. The biggest issue is trying to select anything with this damn touchpad that’s overly sensitive. I also don’t like how it saves images tucked away in its own little folder that’s difficult to find and navigate.
The images you see on this page, though, were edited in PS Express. Dear Adobe: WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN EXIST? It doesn’t remove backgrounds or select objects as well as Lightroom. It doesn’t create layers that can be manipulated. It has no function for smoothing skin. Its “healing” tool is ridiculously inadequate. And what the fuck is anyone supposed to do with those overlays? I’m sorry, the “stickers” function is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.
Take the image above for example. This was shot in a friend’s studio and I knew when I shot it that I would have to replace the background. I was able to successfully do that back in 2021 using the full version of Photoshop. But sitting here on the Chromebook, I don’t have access to those finished images. I took a look and thought maybe I could at least get rid of the “backstage” elements on the right-hand side of the picture. Nope. I tried every method that is suggested and all I got was a fucking mess.
So, I tried this one:
This time, I was able to largely eliminate the unsightly “backstage” elements, but skin smoothing would have been a lot of help, and every time I tried the “healing” function it failed to the point of putting body parts where body parts aren’t supposed to be. I ended up adding a white bokeh overlay just to break up the monotony of a badly processed image.
Images shot on black backgrounds fared a lot better, but the inability to control layers, setting exactly how the overlay should relate to the base image, was a problem. With this one, we reduced the opacity of the smoke and then raised the contrast of the whole image, because you can’t separate the fucking layers. Layers are a basic function of Photoshop and to use the Photoshop name on this software and not include layers is one of the stupidest moves I’ve seen Adobe make.
I just… adding a lens flare is a basic Photoshop technique, but to do it correctly requires adjusting the blending qualities of the fucking layer! No one in their right mind just plops a lens flare over the top of an image and calls it a day! I spent well over an hour playing around with different adjustment settings trying to get this to look decent and what you see here is as close as I could get. It’s pathetic.
What I’d like to know is how much of the functionality is removed in order to get the software to work on the ChromeOS system. Something tells me that if I were on an AppleOS laptop the results would be considerably different.
Of course, if I were on a Windows system, I’d just use PS. The real one. This “Express” shit is a lousy substitute.
There were few good moments yesterday as it would rain, then stop, then rain more, then stop, then wind, more rain, a threat of tornadoes, then nothing. My body didn’t have time to adjust too much so it decided to shut down. Our shipment of cat litter arrived before the kids got home so I had to be the one to carry it in. My body didn’t like that. Nausea hit so hard that I had to take a shower and change clothes. Most of the rest of the day was spent in bed or in the bathroom. Fortunately, the kids are good at taking care of themselves, but I actually had a decent dinner planned and couldn’t stand up long enough to fix it.
Tipper had a problem at school yesterday when someone in one of her classes wrote “Fuck [her name]” on one of the tables. Since no one admitted witnessing the act, no one was admonished or punished. Tipper is more than ready to graduate and never see those particular classmates again. Fortunately, she’ll be in a more supportive atmosphere next school year.
Ryn (aka Big Gabe) called yesterday and gave me an update on all the gossip in that part of the family. The biggest impact is that they’ve blocked their grandparents for refusing to recognize them as non-binary. Their grandfather’s 85th birthday is next week and Ryn’s refusing to go, which I totally agree with. The grandparents have been nothing but manipulative their entire life and if they can’t be supportive then no, Ryn has no obligation to associate with them.
The other big news is that I’m attempting to get back into photography. All the why and wherefore are in yesterday’s post. I’m looking for volunteers so I can update my portfolio appropriately. Contact me here or on Facebook. How I’m going to juggle this along with the chemo, I don’t know. To a large degree, it doesn’t matter. Congress isn’t likely to prevent the severe cut in Social Security scheduled for ’33, so I need to take preventative action of my own now, even if it causes further health issues.
Speaking of the dicks in Congress, House Speaker Johnson doesn’t seem to understand how the separation of powers works. Yesterday, he “demanded” that all trials against the former president must stop on grounds that they amount to election interference. Yeah, that’s really the tact they’re taking. Nimwits. That’s not the way the system works. Congress doesn’t get to interfere in ongoing trials. These idiots are power-hungry and severely delusional. Please, vote and replace them all.
The fog this morning is severe. More rain is forecasted for this evening so I’ll need to complete whatever I’m going to do early today. Not that I had much planned, mind you. Feel free to distract me with coffee.
Yesterday was one of the most full and busy days I’ve had in quite a while. We started with lawn mowing. I tackled the portion outside the fence starting at 8:30 so I could hand the rest off to the kids with the instruction to be done by noon. When I came back in, I had a message waiting from Jennifer Tuttle asking if I wanted to go hiking and look for snakes. Hell, yeah! I dug my hiking boots out from under the bed (not an easy task) and took a quick shower because I really needed it. By the time I was ready, the kids were done with the lawn and Jenn was here.
We went out to Eagle Creek Park and started our search. While Jenn looked for snakes, I kept a lookout for bears. You’d think as much as people have been talking about bears in the woods, we’d have seen several. Alas, we both struck out. No snakes and no bears, despite the fact that the trail was loaded with bear bait in the form of babies in backpacks most often carried by random men. Jenn got pictures of young frogs and a couple of adorable little goslings playing in the water. I took pictures of a freakin’ huge mushroom and a tree stump on which someone had decided to test their router. Why someone would take a router to the woods, I don’t know. Bears don’t eat routers.
We stopped by the store on the way home to pick up cat food and a few other things. I grabbed a quick bite to eat and then got a message from Kat asking if I wanted to go to the park with her and Tipper. This was a challenge. I’d already been to the park and hadn’t napped yet. Should I risk trying to go out again? I decided that I needed to challenge myself. I could pay for the consequences later.
The thing about going to the park with Kat and Tipper is that you know it will probably not be an overly energetic outing. Kat found a table where she could draw while Tipper and I slowly walked around Lilly Lake. Tipper never walks all that fast. She enjoys going slow and investigating everything she comes across. As we were walking, we found a tree stump surrounded by yellow flowers. A ray of sunshine delightfully lit the stump. I carefully guided Tipper in taking an amazing picture that would impress almost anyone. These are the Daddy/Daughter moments I cherish.
Once again, we stopped by the store on the way home. Kat needed a handful of things for dinner. We got home, though, to discover that one of our refrigerators had gone out. The food was starting to get warm. The food was quickly transferred to the other fridge so we didn’t lose anything, but the loss of the fridge is going to mean trimming back what we keep in stock.
Why do we need two refrigerators? Because there were three different sets of nutritional needs. The kids, so far, can eat anything, and will. Kat’s diet is limited, though, due to chronic ulcerative colitis. That means nothing with a hush or any kind of roughage. She’s mostly limited to proteins and simple starches, with no fiber. I’m diabetic: low sugar, high fiber, moderate protein, all the veggies. Finding meals we can all eat is a challenge. More often than not, the kids eat one thing, and Kat and I eat something else. This means needing to keep a lot of different food on hand, thus, the need for a second fridge.
Kat fixed a wonderful dinner, but by this point, I was having a lot of trouble staying awake. After eating and bundling up leftovers for breakfast this morning, I came back to the room and fell fast asleep. Total walking for the day was over 8,000 steps, just under four miles. That’s the most active I’ve been in a very long time.
The question now is how my body will respond to yesterday’s activity. I can already tell you that everything is sore, but with rain moving in I’m not sure if it’s because of the exercise or arthritis. Something tells me this will be a bed day. With rain forecasted for almost every day this week, yesterday’s exercise may have to do me until next weekend.
Let this be proof, however, that I’m not an invalid. I can get out, hike trails, and do things. I’m just not as fast and may need to stop and rest more often. If anyone wants to go for a walk/hike, hit me up!
Yes, there’s no question that the full eclipse was something wonderful. Sitting in the front yard with all the neighbors doing the same was special. Listening to the Star Trek soundtrack coming from IMS as we hit the point of totality was awesome.
I can confirm that no one from our neighborhood was raptured. Perhaps more importantly, I can confirm that no one from the track was raptured. There were a lot of people shooting their guns which is always disturbing, but we’ve kind of started expecting that from the nut cases around us.
I tried taking a picture of the totality with the RAW camera on my phone. I zoomed in, trying to get a decent shot, and… WTF is that shadow? I’m assuming it’s from the lens. Please, tell me it’s from the lens. If it’s not from the lens, uhm… someone call Neil deGrasse Tyson, stat.
Multiple people in the family are sad this morning that Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragon Ball comics, has died at age 68. My older boys especially were obsessed with Dragon Ball when they were younger. It’s frightening how often creative lives run short.
I’m trying to settle in for a day of rain. Normally, that means extra pain meds to try and keep the arthritis at bay. This morning, oddly enough, it is only the end knuckles on three fingers on my right hand that are giving me fits. I’ve no idea why I’m getting this particular segmentation.
Reading through the reviews of last night’s State of the Union address, I’m convinced that the people in Georgia who elected Marjorie Taylor Greene must be as equally disgusting as she is. Otherwise, they would have had her out of office by now. She’s an embarrassment to a political system that does a good enough job of embarrassing itself.
How the hell do tires fall off an airplane? It happened to a United Airlines flight leaving San Francisco shortly after 11:30 yesterday. The tire fell into an employee parking lot, damaging several cars. This absolutely blows my mind. Why the fuck do we still fly when it’s increasingly obvious no one’s maintaining the damn planes?
My brain is not working well this morning. The number of corrections I have to make to my typing is disappointing. Maybe I’ll write more later.
Caring Is Just Too Difficult
Not all caring, of course. I care about individual people, how far it is to the nearest coffee shop, and whether one of the dogs has pooped in the hallway. There are always things to care about.
Caring is really difficult, though, when you don’t see any progress and when others who cared begin to give up, and you start feeling alone. Cancer of any kind is a long haul. You don’t really “get better.” You have good days. You have bad days. You’re in remission. You’re in relapse. And what worked for one person doesn’t work for you.
Particular to leukemia, there is a bone marrow disease, myelodysplastic syndrome, that can occur after chemo is completed. The disease can dramatically shorten one’s survival rate. But there’s no way to know if one is likely to get myelodysplastic syndrome until after all the chemotreatment is complete.
There’s also the drain that comes with longer terms of chemo, such as some oral treatments that stretch out at least two years. Two years is an eternity for friends and family who start wishing you’d just “get over it” or “start feeling better.”
People get tired of hearing you ask for help. They get tired of worrying whether you’re safe.
And no, you’re not safe. Ever. There’s always something to worry about. Are you taking your meds on time? Is insurance covering your meds? Do you need to adjust your meds? Will a dizzy spell hit out of nowhere? Will you fall? If you fall will you break something?
What’s more frightening than anything, though, is that people who care just give up and start walking away. Being emotionally alone is scary as hell. Sure, you may be in a “safe” environment, but you don’t know those people, and caring for you is their job, one that doesn’t pay enough, leaves them with sore feet and backs, and has an incredibly high turnover rate. How is anyone supposed to feel safe in that environment?
If caring is too heavy a burden, perhaps the answer is to just be alone, away from everyone. If we cut all ties, that saves everyone the trouble of caring, doesn’t it?
After all, no one wants to be a burden.
After four months of not working due to chemotherapy effects, money is running out. Going back to what we did last year isn’t an option. In fact, it may have contributed to the leukemia getting as bad as it did. So, here’s a quick poll of the most obvious options. Write answers in as many of the options as you wish. Answers can be as simple as Yes or No, but I’d love it if you’d explain your answer. An explanation of the options is below the survey. Scroll down if you want to read those before making your decision.
Explaining the options
Returning to Photography
Obviously, this is what I know best and have the most experience doing. However, at this point, doing so means finding someone willing to help invest in the cost of equipment, studio space, and portfolio models, in addition to basic business costs. The estimated total comes to about $50,000. That’s a lot of money! The only way that begins to make sense is to charge a minimum of $300 for a basic photoshoot. Are people willing to pay that? I don’t know, and the cost of doing such a survery exceed my budget.
Go on a book tour
I’ve never been involved in book PR all that much. Online sales alone aren’t cutting it. This is an example of having to spend money in order to make money. Only, I don’t have any money. I would need a sponsor to cover travel expenses and pay for copies of the books to sell at the event. I have only the most vague idea how any of this works, so I would need some serious and detailed advice.
Public Speaking
I can do this. I’ve always been able to do this. Remember, growing up there was a pretty decent chance I would be a preacher. I’ve had the training. So, why not put that to good use? I could speak on topics such as 10 Things Photography Taught Me About Life, or My Mother Wouldn’t Approve Of You, among other things. For this to work, I’d need to charge a minimum of $1000 per event, plus travel and expenses. Who would want me to come speak?
Sell Prints Online
This one is frustrating because we’ve had prints on sale online for quite a while and, despite the number of people who browse, no one ever buys. It could be the content, I’m willing to accept that. But what would sell? How do we make online sales work without hiring a third party?
Sell More Merch
This lovely piece of advice seems to be the default answer from most PR people. Okay. I have merch for sale. No one buys it, even when I’m pushing it aggressively. If I’m going to sell more merchandise, I need to know what types of merchandise people are most likely to buy. This could be challenging given the narrow markups on things such as t-shirts and other clothing. I need some direction here.
This is what we have. If you have other ideas or care to offer some clarification on any of the subjects, feel free to contact me!
Coming Face-To-Face With Mortality
Cancer sucks. Chemo isn’t much better. And between the two, one quickly realizes that, even with all the medical assistance available, living another 90 years probably isn’t happening. As a result, I’ve started thinking hard about what I’d like to do before I die. You know, those pie-in-the-sky items that were never urgent until I realized I might not get to do any of them if I don’t say anything. The result is this bucket list.
I posted the first five on Facebook a few days ago and will be posting the others there later today. However, the formatting on FB doesn’t really give me a chance to provide detail for individual items. I also am keenly aware that numbering the entries establishes an implied priority that isn’t necessarily true. Of the twenty items below, only the first two are extremely important. The first is because many of the others can’t happen until that one is achieved. The second is not really in my control at all. I don’t know that any of my kids will have children and it’s not my place to push them to do so.
All the others are arbitrary regarding an order. 19 can come before 3. 14 can happen most any time. What’s more important is that they be approached realistically, not haphazardly. If I’m going to do something, it needs to create a positive experience, not a disaster.
Hence, the reason for this post. I want to do more than present a list. I want to look at the cost, the obstacles, and any prerequisites for achieving them. Be aware that any pricing provided is an estimate and is subject to change. Economic and political factors may also contribute to the degree to which some bucket list items are possible at any given time.
Without any further rhetoric, here’s the full list.
All New Photography Equipment
This is at the very top of the list because a fair number of the other items require this one to be completed. I can’t take pictures anywhere of anyone if I don’t have a camera and related equipment, and currently, I have nothing except my phone.
This isn’t going to be cheap and I’ll need a lot of help. I’ve started a wish list on Amazon, but it’s still incomplete and, honestly, I’d rather purchase from Roberts since they’re local. The current price for everything I have on the list is roughly $9060.55 plus tax. However, the list only includes one lens and we all know that’s not going to be enough. There’s also going to be the issue of padded containers to carry everything safely. This isn’t going to be cheap, but it’s necessary.
Grandchildren
Of all the items on this list, this is the only one over which I have absolutely no control. I have five kids, two of which are still young teens. Of the three that are already adults, only one has expressed any desire for offspring.
As much as I adore babies and would love to have a dozen grandkids, it’s not my choice. I cannot and would not attempt to force any of my kids to procreate. Bringing another child into the world is a huge decision and it’s not my call to make.
However, you can be quite sure that I will throw one helluva party if/when it ever happens.
Compose and Conduct
This one has two separate pieces and could get quite pricey the longer it’s delayed.
The first part is composition. In theory, this part should be cheap, only the cost of staff paper, which I can get on Amazon for only $10. However, my brain doesn’t work as well as it did 40 years ago. Composing needs a lot of help. So, toss in all the digital equipment necessary to make the required demo, and we’re looking at a price tag of around $10K.
Then comes the orchestra part. Ideally, if the composition is strong and the demo is good, we could convince an orchestra to include it as part of their regularly scheduled performances. However, if I’m the only one who likes it (which happens), then I’d have to rent the entire ensemble. The cost for that, based on today’s union prices, is around $60,000 for a single performance.
Calais, France
I’m thankful to be quite familiar with my indigenous heritage. What we didn’t know until a few years ago, however, is that Grandpa Slover’s family can be traced all the way back to at least 15th-century Calais, France, where they were teachers and, quite criminally, protestants in a country run by Catholics.
I’d love to visit Calais with enough time to deeply explore this minority portion of our family roots. Pricing this, though, is perilous. Round trip from IND can be anywhere from $1,000 to $31,000 based on current pricing. Hotels are reasonably around $100 a night and food and ancillary items for a month are going to run around $4,000.
Baby horses
No one who knows me at all should be surprised that horses are somewhere on this list. Were I younger, I’d want to own a dozen rescue horses. But at my age, that’s just foolish.
Instead, what I’d like to do is spend a foaling season (February to March in most cases) on a large horse rescue, taking pictures of all the newborns. Rescue horses are special, typically having endured very rough lives before being snatched from a slaughter pen. When a rescue mare breeds, the foals are especially meaningful. I want to be there to capture all the details and love on the horses. Bonus points if they’re draft breeds.
Taking The Train
I’ve been in love with trains almost from the moment I was born. Grandpa Slover worked for the now-defunct Rock Island Railway and I remember taking the train to go visit him.
Given the current climate of air travel, I much prefer taking the train rather than flying. The idea of going from New York to LA on the train, taking pictures all along the way, is an exciting thought.
How much would it cost? There’s some flexibility here, but generally speaking, around $3k per person, plus food. For practical and safety reasons, I’d need to take someone with me, so double that price.
RV Travel
This is one that Kat and I have talked about for a long time. We both love to travel and leasing an RV and touring the country, me taking pictures, her doing hair and makeup, is a desirable adventure for both of us.
Taking a full year, though? That could be challenging. We certainly can’t do it until the kids are done with school and capable of taking care of themselves. Even then, we don’t know what Kat’s salon situation might be.
RV rentals don’t work the same as car leasing. To be on the road for a full year, we’d likely have to rent at least four different vehicles. The cost would run around $1,500 a month plus expenses.
Where’s the Beach?
There are times when it’s nice to travel without the pressure of having to take pictures for a client. An all-inclusive Caribbean resort has been on my list for a long time but has yet to happen.
Pricing fluctuates a lot but going this time of year, March-April offers some pretty good pricing with many under $500/person for a two-week stay.
There are some caveats. Political forces weigh heavily on any travel to the Caribbean. At the moment, Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and Haiti all come with significant risks. Aruba, Turks & Cacaos, and other southern islands are more hospitable.
Paris Fashion Week
I could never do a fashion week anywhere as a tourist. My shutter finger would get itchy. If I’m going to go, it’s with a camera in hand, and if I have a camera, I want to be backstage, not in the pit, armpit-to-armpit with every other photographer.
Of all the shows, my strong preference would be to shoot Dior. Maria Grazia Chiuri has done wonderful things with the line since taking over in 2016. Getting in, though, is more about having the right connections, and I don’t have them anymore. Neither are fashion designers known for charitable attitudes towards photographers. This one could be quite a stretch.
Not-even-supporting cast
Everyone wants to be a movie star, but that’s a dream for the young. At this point in life, my only realistic shot is in a low-paying walk-on role.
I’ll take it, especially if it’s one that is critical to moving the plot along. I don’t need a lot of lines, because my memory isn’t reliable. Just toss me in there for a minute, and then make me disappear. Bonus points if I can save the heroine in the process.
I’m not looking for anything that warrants an IMDb listing, just something that creates fun stories to tell after the fact.
Comfortable Dining
I’ve had the pleasure of eating in some very nice restaurants over the course of the past 60 years. However, even if I was dining on someone else’s tab, I’ve always worried about how much my meal cost and whether I was imposing on my host.
For example, St. Elmo’s Steakhouse, right here in Indy, is one of the top-rated restaurants in the country. I’ve never been. Why? A steak can cost as much as $135, ala carte. The full meal, with wine, is going to run around $300 per person. My mind has difficulty accepting that I could ever be worth that level of expense.
I’d love for that to change.
Drag Karaoke
I know either Kat or me, if not both, have friends who can help make this one happen. This is not your average drag show, though. Think “America’s Got Talent,” but in drag, and all the acts are done karaoke style. If you don’t think that would be a wildly fun evening, you’ve lived too sheltered a life.
I want to host the show, but not produce it. I’m not that talented. And we need top-notch judges, not some random person pulled off the street or the producer’s second cousin who took a music class once in college. Make it worthwhile for everyone and let’s have fun!
Queer Weddings
As a photographer, I hate weddings. They’re a pain in the backside with too little reward. As an officiant, though, they can be a lot of fun. I watched Poppa perform weddings everywhere from our living room to the school gymnasium. Only once did anything go terribly wrong (the bride fainted… twice).
I’m ordained (Church of the Latter-Day Dude), which makes it perfectly legal in like 46 of the 50 states. And given how much they’re under political attack, I’d love to perform dozens upon dozens of weddings for people in the LGBTQ+ community. They have just as much a right to eternal misery as the rest of us.
I’m cheap as long as there’s free food involved. Let’s make this happen!
Farrier For Hire
First off, the name is misspelled in the image. It’s fArrier, not fErrier.
Second, this one may be a genuine pipe dream. To become a licensed farrier, one has to complete a four-year apprenticeship. It’s like going to college all over again, and it cost about as much.
Would it be worth the time and expense? Hell yeah! Do I have the time to justify the expense? Probably not. I could reasonably take a horseshoeing class and become certified in just that aspect, but a lot of draft horses, which I love, have more advanced hoof problems, especially if their rescues. This is a tough one.
Solo Exhibition
We need to do this again, in some place that actually matters. Solo exhibitions are tough to come by, and getting one in a gallery that actually attracts collectors is even more difficult. Once again, it’s not so much cost as it is connections that make something like this happen.
But I don’t just want a simple photography exhibit. I’ve been bored by too many of those. Let’s get real with some artistic eroticism that pushes the envelope of the definition. I’ve been sitting on several images that NO ONE has seen. To be able to share them in a place of prominence would be an indescribable thrill.
Whip It Good
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had a five-foot bullwhip and was getting pretty damn good with the thing. I was 10. I’ve no idea what happened to it. It just disappeared. I blame parental fear.
I don’t believe in whipping animals. There are better means of controlling them that are more humane.
Humans, however, are a different story. Some of them ask for it, which requires just the right touch to keep from inflicting serious harm. And then, there’s the crafty ability to use a whip to disarm a person. That could come in quite handy.
A good 12-foot hand-braided whip is going to run around $1,450ish. Worth it.
Sail Away With Me
This one is all about merging my fascination with boating and photography. If we’re going to do it, let’s get some heart-stopping images out of it.
Cost is going to be the overwhelming factor here. The average price for yacht rental out of Miami is roughly $2,200/day. We might get a slightly better rate renting one for an entire month, but we’re still looking at something north of $60K.
And then, there are the models. Just go ahead and double the cost. At least. The joy of the trip might help keep rates down, but at the end of the day, everyone has bills to pay.
The potential for incredible pictures, though, makes it worth every dime. Maybe I could sell sponsorships (as if I knew how).
A Bestseller
My books don’t sell in large numbers and, to some extent, I’m okay with that. The exception is when I think I have something wonderful and no one pays any attention. A Path in the Storm is a good example. I consider this to be among the best things I’ve ever written. It’s also a helluva lot cheaper than the photo books. However, to date, it’s only sold four copies, and three of those were mine.
Just once, I’d love to see one of my books get the attention it deserves and blow the top off the best-seller charts. That doesn’t just happen, though. There are entire PR teams involved. I can’t afford those.
Maybe if everyone I’ve ever known bought a copy, we could start a grassroots movement.
A National Holiday
Coming of age around Tahlequah, Oklahoma was a unique experience. It was there I learned a great deal about my indigenous heritage and grew to appreciate all my ancestors had sacrificed.
But I never was able to attend the National Holiday. The event is held annually on Labor Day weekend in September, and in the 1970s, involved a lot of drinking. A High School classmate was killed because of a drunk driver leaving the celebration in 1977.
Things have changed dramatically since those days, and for the better. I would love to return and photograph the entire weekend, but since I’m not a tribe member (there’s a reason), I would need permission to do so. I know I have the contacts. It just needs to happen.
The End
I think the question almost everyone has at some point is “How will I be remembered?” What stories will be told? Will anyone care that I’m gone?
My final bucket list item, which I’m in no hurry to get achieve, is to be remembered in a way that is positive and enduring. I want people to smile when they think of the time we spent together, and I want those who missed out to feel sad that they won’t get the opportunity.
There’s no price on this one. It’s all up to me.
Real artists are not being replaced by machines just yet
I know I’m not the only person who is a wee bit disturbed by the current popularity of the Lensa app which has people giving this relatively unknown company multiple photos of themselves so that their AI bots can work magic. Lensa is owned by the software company Prisma, based in Sunnyvale, CA. The app was first launched in 2018 as a digital background remover (the one thing it does reasonably well) and recent additions have marketed it as a selfie-improvement app. And the Internet, being as vain as it has always been, was quick to notice. Lensa was the #2 most-downloaded app in the US this past week.
HOWEVER, AI isn’t perfect and we’re not seeing all the images that the app creates. One dear friend was brave enough to share one of Lensa’s less-than-stellar results.
Mangled fingers, crossed eyes, and a chunk missing from her left arm are just the most noticeable problems with the AI-produced image. [Significantly better pictures of Shannon are in my book, We Did It In The Tub. Click the link to purchase your copy!]
AI is flashy and new and easy to use without knowing a damn thing about digital imagery. I understand why it’s so popular. As I was discussing with a friend who just happens to be a therapist (she was a friend first), artists have had to deal for centuries with the vanity of people not wanting their portraits to look “too real.” We want what we perceive to be our flaws covered or masked or, at the very least, diminished to the point no one notices them. Portraits of world leaders from the 14th century and beyond can hardly be considered authentic because being too accurate could cause an artist their job, or possibly even their life! What the AI is doing isn’t new, just faster!
So, how do we respond to this challenge? I can only answer for myself and thanks to the effects of that lovely chemo pill I’m taking my answer has to be brief. Let me show you how an image progresses in my hands. We’ll start with one from 2009. Here’s the original RAW image:
The image was shot using natural light relatively late on a summer afternoon. This is real. If we’re being totally honest with ourselves, there’s nothing here to not like. She’s a beautiful young woman.
Now, here’s how I originally edited this image in 2009:
One can see that, at the time, I chose to remove the puffiness under her eyes, darken her skin tone, and give just a minimal amount of balance to her flesh tone. There’s not a lot of editing here and I doubt I spent more than 30 minutes with the image.
Now, what happens when I drop the same image into the current version of Photoshop with all its built-in AI tools and let them run havoc over the whole thing? I couldn’t bring myself to show anyone that original image. It was a mess! Her features were completely blurred, the new background was totally inappropriate for the image, and the highlights were completely blown out. Nope, you’re not seeing that one.
However, when Photoshop drops a bomb like that, the image is still recoverable! All the effects are added in layers, so each piece can be manipulated until one achieves a suitable image. Is the process fast? Oh hell, no! My sick ass spent roughly four hours fixing that mess. Here’s the end result:
I’m still not sure what’s going on with that background. While it’s better than the first one, it gives the appearance that she’s a giant floating among the trees, or something of that nature. I’m also reasonably sure that the dear girl in question has never worn that much makeup, or at least not that color, in her life. While I know who it is, I doubt facial recognition software would identify her. At this point, this is a picture of a different person.
Okay, that’s one image. But would the results be the same with one that was, let’s say, shot in the studio? Well, let’s find out. Here’s a raw image shot in the studio in 2010.
I only processed one image from this series before now, so I don’t have a comparison shot to show you. I turned AI look with the basic “clean up” of the image, removing background spots and noise. Here’s how it handled that task:
Uhm, okay. The ways it “softened” her features really aren’t acceptable, in my opinion, but for the sake of the experiment, I’ll let it go. For now. The photo is still rather bland, though, so I let AI select a background for the image. Here’s how that went:
Ugh. Holy perspective, Batman! There’s a giantess in the middle of the road! The sun is still behind her (allegedly) and there’s no shadow!I Shadows are something AI seems to struggle with quite often. I did some work on the perspective by hand and then let AI take over once more. I gave it instructions to change her hair and eye color and to make the image more electric. The results returned required a lot of intervention, especially in blending the various layers. Four hours and a nap later, here are the final results:
Well … at least you can see the “electric” part. But who is that person? I am not sure how to begin describing everything going on in this image! And once again, the model is indistinguishable in this presentation. I know I wouldn’t want this thing floating around as something I’d done by hand! This is … something less than acceptable.
The one photo from this series that I processed, looks like this:
I assume you can see and appreciate the difference.
Whether we like it or not, AI is going to be a part of digital photo processing. There’s no escaping it. What’s important is that we make a distinction between the real and the fake. Since “deep fakes” are already an issue, and AI is only going to complicate that realm, I won’t be surprised if at some point in the future there has to be some legally-binding declaration of authenticity on ID photos and the like.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep doing things the hard way, taking my time, fussing over this and that, and giving the AI something to watch.
Only a few understand the commitment
Nothing changes faster than technology. When I purchased my first digital camera in 2003, image files needed to be small to upload to the internet. They weren’t the highest quality to begin with. Yet, over the years, as hard drives have crashed and discs were corrupted, there are many instances where those images saved to various online accounts are the only versions i have left.
Technology to the rescue. While today’s cameras are considerably stronger and have the ability to take much higher resolution images, the software has often lagged in keeping up. Only in the past couple of years has it become genuinely feasible to go back and rework some favorite images.
Eventually, I’ll want to revisit everything shot before 2020. For now though, hers a first set of several favorites from the past 20 years. I wish i could remember the names of all the models, but too many have long escaped me. I hope they’re all doing well and enjoying their lives.
And I hope you enjoy these images. Remember, click on any of the pictures below to view them full screen on your device.
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Everything comes to an end and in this case we choose to be in control of that ending
What you see below is the last picture we took as a professional photographer. I am now retired. Well, okay, officially not until midnight New Year’s Eve, but for all practical purposes, this is it. And, just as there was a story to my first professional picture, there’s a story to this one. Typing it out, though, felt bland. So, I’ve put that story on this week’s podcast on Old Man, Talking. You’ll find the whole explanation there as well as a brief discussion of what comes next.
As we’ve said a couple of times recently, thank you for your many years of support. We move on now thankful for all the friends we’ve made, the lives we’ve touched, and the beauty we’ve brought to the world. Goodbye.
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2021 In Review: The Final Year
December 25, 2021
Our last year started slow but ended with pictures to carry into 2022
This was the year that broke the proverbial camel’s back. After 37 years, we decided that the costs were too high, the effort too great, and the frustrations too often to bother continuing as a photographer. Officially, we pull the plug on New Year’s Day, but barring some exceptional occurrence, we’ve already taken the last picture. The camera is safely stowed in case I decide to pull it out again, but it’s out of the way, out of sight, and hibernating. One of my chores today is to remove the lights from the back of the car and store them out in the shed along with my tripod and reflectors. We’re done.
Sort of. As slow as this year started, the last six months have been full of activity, much more than we’ve had time to process. Much of this was intentional. I wanted to have enough new material to still enter juried shows for the next couple of years (assuming they survive). As a result, I still have several hundred unprocessed images waiting for my attention. I won’t release them as regularly as I have before, and when I do it may be a single image rather than a full set.
From a public perspective, we’re taking this website into archive mode. There will be no information about booking or hiring. We’ll re-work the portfolios and they’ll take a dominant position on the front page in video format. New material will be toward the bottom of the front page and most easily accessible through social media posts.
Can I be coaxed into shooting again? Maybe. We’ll see how it goes. If I do, it will be on a shoot-by-shoot basis. The concepts need to be original and enticing, something I’ve never shot before, and the people involved need to be exciting. And it will cost more. Just getting everything checked and out the door is going to be more of an effort, so the price is going to be higher. No, I still won’t shoot your wedding. I’ll officiate if you ask (yes, I can do that), but I won’t take pictures.
So, here’s a brief glance back at what we did this year. There’s not a lot. Jan-April was pretty slim. We didn’t post anything the entire month of May because there wasn’t anything to post. That’s largely what prompted this decision. As always, click on a thumbnail to view to collection full screen on your device. Thank you for all the years you’ve watched, encouraged, and commented. We’ll miss you.
-charles
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Being naked on the stairs is one of the sexiest scenes we’ve seen
There’s nothing particularly sexy about the average set of stairs in the average house. Sure, there are some wonderfully exotic staircases in special places around the world, but when it comes to the normal subdivision in the typical suburban neighborhood, the stairs are designed to be utilitarian, not statement pieces. Occasionally, especially this time of year, one might see a banister decorated a bit, giving the staircase its only bit of pizazz, but the rest of the year we hardly think of them beyond how tiring it is having to go up and down them all the time.
All that changes, however, when one places one of our favorite blondes on the staircase and then steals her clothes. Okay, we didn’t actually steal her clothes. She had already disposed of them before we got to this point. Still, one shouldn’t be the least bit surprised at the degree to which such a lovely body lends a whole new perspective to a set of stairs. Suddenly, they’re more than just a means of conveyance from one floor to the next. They’re an attractive and interesting frame for an incredibly sexy figure.
Staircases all over the world long for this kind of attention, this moment in the sun when they’re not being trampled upon by mindless feet that didn’t bother wiping off the mud first. In a world filled with mediocrity and boredom, an event like this is a distant dream for most staircases. Sure, we wish we could put an attractive naked person on every staircase in every home, but the chances of that are too slim and, quite honestly, there’s no way we could photograph them all.
Until there is more sexiness on more staircases, this photoset will have to make do in providing you the kind of multilevel entertainment you desire. Click on a thumbnail to see the image full screen and enjoy the view.
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Read what makes you happy.
First, the video
Critical facts and figures are included here
Reading is important. There’s no valid argument against it. Study after study, over 100 years worth of examination, reiterate the value not only of learning to read well but reading often. There’s no substitute for the endless advantages that come from reading. The case has been made for so long, it’s difficult to consider why everyone isn’t walking around with a book in their hands. In a way, you could. Smartphones are perfectly capable of storing and presenting ebooks that you could read anywhere it’s appropriate for you to be looking at your phone. Some ebook apps will even read it to you if you’re driving and don’t want to put it down.
Yet, somehow, too many people can’t read, and of those who can, too few bother. Adults under age 45 are barely reading at all and when they do, it’s something short. The result is not merely a level of incredible ignorance, but a severe danger to the world as a whole. People who can’t read misinterpret street signs, don’t read instructions, aren’t aware of medical information, and miss important life-saving information. The statistics are in the video so I won’t repeat them here.
So, we thought we’d offer a little encouragement. You see, it turns out that reading fiction is one of the best things you can do for your brain, and yes, erotic fiction counts. Go ahead, picture those steamy moments in your mind. Perhaps you might even recreate them with a consenting partner. As you do, you increase critical neurological skills and may even ward off some forms of dementia. The ways in which we benefit from reading are neverending.
And by all means, never miss an opportunity to read with a unicorn.
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A chaise lounge provides the perfect place to relax
The Video Version
You’ll want to view full screen with the sound on.
The end of a long day. You’re alone, no one else in the house. A little soft music, a relaxing drink, perhaps a light snack. The clothes you’ve been wearing all day weigh you down. You slip out of them, putting them in the growing pile of laundry. You have a couple of hours before anyone else is home. You stretch out on the chaise, relax, and release the stress that has plagued you all day. The important stuff will still be there later. For now, you need some time for mental healing and this is exactly what the doctor prescribed, or would have if doctors actually prescribed common-sense tactics.
As a society, we spend too little time giving our bodies a break. We don’t stop to think about how the many layers we wear contribute to the emotional weight we feel bearing down on us. We censor ourselves, our bodies, and deny ourselves the quiet, alone, naked time that we need to decompress. There are benefits not only for our mental health but physical health as well. Give your skin a chance to breathe, maybe apply some hydrating lotion while massaging your limbs.
Sure, you may want to be dressed before the kids get home, depending on your family dynamic. In-laws coming for dinner? Yeah, you don’t need the stares. But for now, this moment is yours. Take it. Drink it in. Shed all the nonsense that inevitably builds up across the day. Breathe. Close your eyes. Enjoy the music. You’ve not just earned this moment, you need it. Claim it.
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Sunday Morning Update: 12/08/24
Listen carefully to the sounds around the world. Syria’s al-Assad has disappeared. A 50-year dynasty has been deposed. What began with “Arab Spring” ended with over 500,000 dead. Some celebrate—some mourn. Others worry. Will terrorism return? Who has control of chemical weapons? Where are the Kurds? What happens to foreign bases? Humanity excels at creating complex situations and problems that are not easily solved. For all the wars and conflicts, we remain our own worst enemy.
Step away. Ignore the world and read. Spend more time in critical thought. Let the words sink deep. Mull the choice of vocabulary. Consider the implications. Parse what can be taken at face value from that which hides deeper meaning. Expand the ways you see the world.
Step away. Arm yourself with a fresh view of history. Read the books others want banned, even if you’ve read them before. Force yourself to answer the tough questions. Open more than one text at a time so that the brain in your head does not get lazy. Push your mind into unfamiliar territory. Glean wisdom from sources you’ve never known.
Step away. Give yourself time to think. Write down your thoughts. Wrestle with the words. Scratch out that last sentence and try again. Do not type with speed. Question yourself. Argue against your opinions. Let no conclusion go untested. Check the influence of your native biases. Give no ground to the mythologies of your youth.
Refill the coffee mug. The dogs that woke early now rest comfortably on the bed. Thoughts bombard my head, each fighting to be heard. What does it matter that the Eras tour has ended? What are the consequences of old shoes selling for $28 million? Fools part with money even as their own cupboards grow bare. The songs that linger now are those sung long ago. Cherished memories leave no souvenirs.
Age colours my vision. Depth of field is set by my experience. I wander. Is that the ticking of the clock or the sound of my boots as I pace the hallway? How many circles can I make before my legs collapse? I would dance but the music changes too quickly.
No one is well. We struggle to breathe. Moving brings us pain. Eating makes us ill. Medicine numbs us to the cancer that eats at our bodies. We sympathize. We empathize. Yet, we cannot help ourselves let alone give aid to others. We need… so much.
Spin around one last time. Step away.
Hold me. Close.
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