death

PotD  /  Social Commentary
When The Fairy Tale Ends
January 17, 2016
charles i. letbetter - when the fairy tale ends

Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons: we must fight in order to conquer it.—Alexandre Dumas

 

charles i. letbetter - when the fairy tale ends

Not every day is a good one, nor should we ever expect them to be.

One of my dear friends, Jane, whose birthday I missed yesterday and who writes a most wonderful blog, frequently reminds her students that the versions of fairy tales they see presented by Disney and the like are not true. When Hans Christian Anderson wrote The Little Mermaid, he justifiably kills his title character at the end; that’s right, the little mermaid dies. In the original telling of Cinderella, the evil stepsisters have their eyes plucked out. The tales penned by the brothers Grimm were bloody, vicious and violent. Why? Because such stories were meant to be cautionary tales, warnings against dangerous, self-centered, and inappropriate behavior. Life is not fair, the stories warn, and happily ever after is a myth.

This week has been a painful reminder of just how unhappy life can be. People we have admired, who have entertained us, who have sacrificed for us, who saved our lives, have passed on. Not just one or two people, as we are rather accustomed to hearing, but several people of some noteworthiness, have left us. Here’s a partial list, in case you weren’t paying attention:

  • David Bowie, sing, actor, and creator of worlds
  • Ernest Yazhe, the last of the WWII Navajo Code Talkers
  • Noreen Corcoran, an actress best known for her role in the television series Bachelor Father
  • Alan Rickman, versatile actor of innumerable memorable roles
  • Dan Haggerty, actor best known for his role on the television series Grizzly Adams
  • Andrew Smith, Butler University basketball hopeful
  • René Angélil, who discovered and then married singer Celine Dionne
  • Lawrence Phillips, promising NFL player caught up in violence
  • Brian Bedford, Tony award-winning actor known for his productions of Shakespeare
  • David Margulies, character actor best known for his role as the mayor in the original Ghostbusters movie
  • Otis Clay, Blues Hall of Fame member and Grammy nominee
  • Pete Huttlinger, Master guitarist known especially for his work with John Denver
  • Daniel Dionne, brother of Celine Dionne, died two days after her husband
  • Michael Galeota, actor best known for his role in the Disney Channel Original Series The Jersey

All those people, gone in the span of seven days. There were more, of course. Many died whose names are not so familiar to us. On Friday, a terrorist attack on a Burkina Faso hotel left at least 28 dead, including an American missionary. All around the world, in every hospital in every city, families gathered as loved ones, some old and suffering, some never really having a chance at life, moved on.

So much for a fairy tale with happy endings. This week seems to have gone out of its way to show us that there is no “happily ever after.” Even the lives that seem the most wonderful and glamorous, those who appear to have everything in the world going their way, still die.

What, then, shall we do when the fairy tale is over? When we have run out of tears to cry and are weary from mourning, how do we face this incredibly cruel world? Any good reader should know the answer to that question. When one fairy tale ends, you start another. Tragedy is the platform upon which the foundation of comedy arises. The ending of one story, or one set of stories, prepares us for the beginning of the next.

Yes, it is true that even the next story likely ends with its main character’s demise, but every story is worth the telling. There are lessons to be learned even in the most heart-breaking situations. We do not stop here. We keep going.

I have been distantly following the continuing saga of Cory and Joey Feek, as have millions of others. I’m not going to sit here anre pretend that I was ever a fan. I’m not big into contemporary country music, and until their lives took a tragic turn I’d not even heard of them. Now, it appears that Joey’s story is nearing its end.  When it does, headlines will focus on the love of a mother for her daughter, and a husband for his wife, and many will share in their grief. What’s important is that we realize that there is a story that goes onward. Their daughter, Indiana, is just beginning her story, even as her mother’s is ending.

While it is easy to become emeshed in the stories of others, however, we must remember that we are the ones writing our own stories. While our tales may be entertwined with those of others, we are ultimately the authors of our own fates. Even in circumstances where we might not have control of when or how our story ends, we still decide through the way we live and the decisions we make whether our fairy tale is tragic or happy.

2016 seems to be getting off to a very rough start, but perhaps this is this universe telling us that we need to focus more on the future, not the past; that we should focus less on the lives lost and more on those still living. Not that we don’t remember those who have died, but we realize that their passing is but the end of a chapter, not the whole book. The fairy tale is not over. There is so much more to be written and it is up to you to do the writing.

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pop culture  /  PotD
Death Defying LIfe
September 26, 2015
charles i. letbetter - death defying life

charles i. letbetter - death defying life

Home Stretch (2009)

When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.—Tecumseh

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]Welcome to Saturday, that point in the week where I look back and wonder if you’ve noticed what we’ve done or if you’ve only looked at the pictures. This is the time when I question my decision to disable comments, because I wouldn’t mind legitimate feedback. The problem is that activating comments opens the whole thing up to trolls who, speaking of death, definitely deserve to die horrendously. I don’t tolerate rudeness and don’t have time to respond to such nonsense, so there are no comments. Still, it would be nice to know who is reading, I’m guessing maybe two or three people a day.

If you’ve been reading, though, have you noticed what we’ve done this week? Mass pandering. We’ve used provocative images to get faces to the page, then discussed totally unrelated subjects; in this case, the leading causes of death as published in the medical journal The Lancet last week. We’ve hit them all with a sense of fury and if you’ve missed one today would probably be a good time to go back and catch up. Some are rather humorous while others are just angry that we can be so very stupid. And when it comes to death, we truly are rather stupid about the whole thing.

Somewhere along the line, society has developed this ridiculous notion that immortality is something to be achieved; that if we didn’t have to worry about death then we could do more with our lives. As a result, we’ve come to loathe death, which we really don’t understand in the first place, and placed untold resources into attempting to avoid it rather than focusing on improving what we already have. Even if our lives did span hundreds of years, they would still be meaningless if we continued living them in the same way we do now. Prolonging the status quo is not a desirable condition.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]Stop and think for a moment what would happen if we were all suddenly immortal, if death simply ceased to be a factor. While it sounds like a good idea on the surface, it doesn’t take long for things to go sour. Consider these elements:

  1. If no one is dying, then no one can be allowed to have babies. The planet’s population already exceeds sustainability.
  2. Our bodies would naturally continue to deteriorate and within a few very short years we would have a planet of geriatrics.
  3. Avoiding death doesn’t mean we avoid disease. Imagine having to live with the ravages of advanced-staged cancer forever.
  4. Prisons would become even more overcrowded than they currently are.  With immortality comes a crime wave like the planet has never seen. Barbarism would quickly return.
  5. There would be no escaping the people you don’t like. If you’re not dying, they’re not dying either, and with all eternity in front of you this planet is going to get very small, very quickly.

Death has a very necessary purpose. We need that finality, that ending point, to help keep us on track, to allow us to regenerate society through new life, and to help us realize that if we’re going to do something that matters, we need to start doing it right now, not sometime in the unknown future. If you want to live a death-defying life then you need to be doing something other than overeating, smoking, and creating stress. Do things that actually make a positive difference, not only in your lives, but those of others.

Of course, that can only happen if you actually read the articles and not just look at the pictures. [/one_half_last]

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pop culture  /  PotD
Smoking. Hot.
September 21, 2015
charles i. letbetter - smoking. hot.

charles i. letbetter - smoiking. hot.

Dances With Pearls (2014)

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.—Mark Twain

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]I hate the sight of no smoking signs. Not that I’m this huge smoker by any stretch of the imagination. Cigarettes are, in my opinion, a waste of money; three or four puffs and they’re gone. Why bother? I’ll occasionally smoke a pipe if I’m stressed and trying to chill, or perhaps have a cigar while out in the middle of nowhere, sitting around a campfire. I don’t have this huge oral fixation that requires I put something up to my mouth all the time. Still, the very sight of a no smoking sign angers me because it restricts my right to choose. Am I not intelligent enough to make the right choice? Are you calling me stupid with your fucking sign? Can you not see how horribly insulting that damn sign is?

I understand: clean air.  The statistics regarding second-hand smoke are damning. I’ll admit, I don’t mind walking into an office, especially the doctor’s office, and the whole place not smelling like smoke. I don’t mind walking into a restaurant and not having to choose between smoking or non-smoking (we typically chose smoking  simply because it was less crowded). I don’t mind coming home and my clothes not smelling like a cheap brand of cigarettes. I get it. I understand what anti-smoking advocates are trying to do. I still don’t like the damn signs.

Statistics are clear: cigarette smoking remains the largest single preventable cause of death in the United States. In addition to killing somewhere in the neighborhood of 480,000 people in the US each year, the direct cost of that addiction in terms of healthcare and lost productivity is around $300 billion annually. Smoking doesn’t play fair, either. One is more likely to smoke if they are male, has their GED, is a former service member, and is racially mixed, according to statistical evidence. Children born to mothers who smoke during pregnancy are likely to have a significantly lower birth rate. Smoking is the second leading cause of death in the entire world. The numbers against smoking are absolutely overwhelming.

There’s just one problem: Uncle Fred.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]If you’ve known me more than five minutes I’ve probably told you about my Uncle Fred. I know I’ve written about him before. Uncle Fred was one of those migrants in John Updike’s The Grapes of Wrath that left dust bowl Oklahoma along with his wife, Aunt Irene, who was my grandmother’s sister. They settled in Turlock, California, up in the Northern end of that state, worked hard from sunup to sundown, raised three boys, were heavily engaged in civic activities, traveled when they could, argued with each other like cats and dogs and lived what was, for their time, a pretty normal life.

Uncle Fred was a two-pack-a-day smoker. He was respectful, he’d go outside, step away from the doorway, smoke two or three, then come back inside. If it were raining and the porch was too short, he’d either find a tree or stand under the eve of the house. All that smoking eventually killed him … at age 96. Aunt Irene, who didn’t smoke and wouldn’t allow Fred to do it in their house, died four years later at age 92. If we look solely at Fred and Irene’s statistics, smoking’s apparently good for you. That’s why I have a problem with those damn signs. Statistics are numbers and numbers aren’t people. We don’t know how many Uncle Freds there are because, since they aren’t dying off too quickly, we’re not studying them.

There are roughly 320 million people in the United States. If we lose 480,000 to smoking each year, that’s a whopping 0.15% of the total. Pay attention. That’s not fifteen percent. That’s less than two-tenths of ONE percent. We’re making all this fuss over a group of people so statistically small that, in almost any other study, they would be insignificant. With over seven billion people on the planet, we’re over-populated beyond the point of sustainability. We need more than 0.15% to die off if we’re going to continue living here. Sustainability is more critical than smoking at this point. Think of smokers as volunteers for population control.

Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em and lose the damn signs.[/one_half_last]

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PotD  /  Social Commentary
10 Reasons You Are Going To DIE!
May 26, 2015

When Dreams Die (2010)

When Dreams Die (2010)

“It is said that mourning, by its gradual labour, slowly erases pain; I could not, I cannot believe this; because for me, Time eliminates the emotion of loss (I do not weep), that is all. For the rest, everything has remained motionless. For what I have lost is not a Figure (the Mother), but a being; and not a being, but a quality (a soul): not the indispensable, but the irreplaceable.” ― Roland Barthes, Camera Lucida: Reflections on Photography

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]You are not safe. You are going to die. If you don’t believe me, just check any of the clickbait lists on social media expounding upon the many ways in which that just might happen. Everything from e-cigs to orange juice has one problem or another if you ask the right person. The internet has made it possible for bad science, or often no science, to have a voice it really shouldn’t have and the result is fear mongering over issues that really shouldn’t exist. So, here’s a list of all the things that really, seriously, could result in your death.

No10There’s Someone In Your Life Who Needs The Insurance Money

Sure, you like to think that everyone loves you. Your spouse adores the ground on which you walk. Your parents think you do no wrong. Your siblings aren’t the least be jealous. Your co-workers are proud of your accomplishments. Right. Go ahead and think that. In reality, most murder victims are killed by someone they know, often a family member. The larger your insurance policy, the greater the risk. Be careful with that OJ this morning.

No9You’re Starving While Searching For Non-GMO Food

I’m still not sure how genetically modified food suddenly went from being the god-send that would end hunger around the planet to the horrible poison that is going to kill us all. There isn’t a substantial amount real science to back up all the fear mongering and political arm-twisting on the subject. Fact is, strawberries as we know and enjoy them wouldn’t even exist without some genetic modification. Same is true for a number of standard foods, which makes it absolutely laughable when one sees them in the organic section of the produce aisle. As the world becomes less hospitable to traditional farming, the choices are likely to be GMO or die. Your call.

No8When The Polar Ice Cap Melts, You’ll Drown

I recently heard one climate-change denier base his entire argument on the fact that property he owns in Key West isn’t yet under water. The key word there, pardon the pun, is yet. Climate change wasn’t an argument when I was in elementary school. Over 40 years ago we were being taught that as greenhouse gasses increased, the earth’s temperature would warm and the oceans would inevitably rise, eventually dramatically reshaping the continents as we know them now. What has changed is the timetable. Back then, most scientists were estimating that rise would take effect somewhere in the 22nd century.  Now, most are saying it could happen in this one. I hope you know how to dog paddle.

No7You Drive Like A Moron

I no longer drive. What being a passenger the past few years has taught me is that those of you who do drive are nuts. Every day, we encounter so many near-misses that I’m amazed we’re not burying more drivers. The fact that people have actually become proficient at dodging each other should tell us just how bad our driving has become. Driving rules really aren’t that difficult. Stay in your lane. Use your damn turn signal. Slow the fuck down already! Keep your eyes on the road, not your phone. Perhaps most important, though, is that you actually plan your trip so you know where you’re going and know when you need to leave. Traffic is going to suck. Plan on it and maybe you won’t be the reason everyone else is late for work.

No6The Elevator Cable Broke

I have a habit when I get on elevators. I look for the weight limit and then check the people who are around me. If it appears we might be pushing that weight limit, I get off the damn elevator. I’m not taking that risk. Yes, I know modern elevators have emergency braking systems in case the cable breaks. I don’t trust them. Why? Americans are obese and one place where that creates a real strain is on elevator cables lifting our fat asses from the first floor to the second because we get winded taking the stairs. Breaking cables are inevitable. Go ahead and keep eating like a pig if you must. Just be careful going to your doctor. The cardiac specialist is on the fourteenth floor.

[/one_half] [one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]

No5You Share Needles

Southern Indiana has recently experienced a dramatic increase in HIV/AIDS cases due to one specific problem: needle sharing. Now, while a lot of the political rhetoric centers around the state cutting funding for public health sources, the reality is that if you’re sharing needles you’re just asking to die. Period. I’ll admit that I don’t really understand what drives a person to share needles in the first place; that’s not an addiction that has ever been remotely tempting. I do, however, realize that the problem is ultimately, politics aside, one of your own doing. So, let’s get this straight: if you share needles, you’re going to die and it’s not going to be pretty.

No4You Weren’t Immunized

Here’s another piece of bad science that has just gotten totally out of control. A recent measles outbreak is evidence of just how stupid some people can be when it comes to the health of their own children. Measles. Really. We had that disease all but licked until a few idiots decided to stop immunizing their kids. Next think you know, children everywhere, especially those who already had some form of immune deficiency, are breaking out with one of the most easily eradicated and totally unnecessary diseases possible. There is no real science behind anti-vaxing, just paranoid stupidity and the end results are lethal. Not immunizing your children is signing their death warrant. The risk is just that real. Stupid.

No3You Left The Oven On

Haven’t we all been there? We’re driving down the road, 30 minutes or so from home, when we suddenly wonder whether we actually remembered to turn off the oven. Okay, so millennials don’t have this problem because they don’t know how to cook, but older generations understand. There’s always that chance that you left on the oven, which means there could be gas building up inside your own right now, creating an inevitable powder keg. All it needs is the sudden rush of oxygen you’ll make available when you open the door, and boom! You, your house, and possibly even your neighbor’s houses are all going up in smoke. You know it could happen. You’re never really sure. Maybe you should turn around and check now.

No2Elves

I’m not kidding. They’re out there. We’re not talking about the little guys that help Santa deliver presents on Christmas Eve, either. Elves are evil, mean, and waiting to sabotage your every move, your every plan. You never see the little suckers until it’s too late. They tampered with your break lines. They put sleeping powder in the pilot’s coffee. Elves stretch electrical cords across the floor and then make them invisible until you’ve tripped over one. The water on the floor that cause you to slip and fall? Elves. I tell you, man, their everywhere and they’re out to get you. I swear it.

No1The Bible Tells Me So

And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. Hebrews 9:27 KJV

Sorry, I’m not making this one up. It’s really there. There’s no getting around it. Nothing you do is going to save your ass. You’re done for you’re going to die. The Bible says so. You’re toast.

Are you scared yet? Are you ready to crawl in a hole and hide? Can we get real for a moment? Sure, we’re all going to die, sooner or later, one way or another. I frequently tell the story of my Uncle Fred who died from smoking two and a half packs of cigarettes a day. He was 96. He didn’t stop smoking until he was 94. How, where and when one dies matters much less than how one lives. You have one life. Are you going to spend it worrying about what might kill you or are you going to spend your life actually living? You don’t have to listen to all the doomsayers on the Internet. You’ll probably live longer if you spend less time on the Internet completely. So go ahead. Defy death. Live. [/one_half_last]

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