coffee shop

Just For Fun  /  pop culture  /  PotD
Coffee With A Happy Ending (Explicit)
August 24, 2016
charles i. letbetter - coffee with a happy ending

Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep. —Fran Drescher

 

charles i. letbetter - coffee with a happy ending -explicit

Having oral sex with your coffee might sound wonderful at first, but there could be some serious problems

This was one of those rare mornings where I couldn’t really find a topic that inspired me in any way. Yes, there is plenty of important news, but it was either on topics of which I have little knowledge or wholly political which I’m just not in the mood to engage. Then, I came across a snippet that led me to an article in Maxim, which led me to an article in Playboy, which led me to a news story in The Mirror. They’re all talking about a coffee shop in Geneva, Switzerland that hasn’t even opened yet. The coffee shop is called Facegirl and if you want to go there, expect long lines (at least at first) and high prices.

A cup of coffee at Facegirl will set you back about $55.55 (based on this morning’s exchange rate). I know, that seems rather high. However, the reason for that high price is not because of the coffee but because of the “extra” service that comes with it: oral sex. At first glance, the sex addicted and adventurous among us might think that this is a great idea. I can imagine some are already checking the price of airline tickets to Geneva. If there are two things people love it is oral sex and coffee. Bringing the two together sounds like the ultimate experience.

Well, maybe. By the time I finished all the associated articles, I was beginning to have some questions. Big ones.

Contents May Be Hot

From the very outset, spillage has to be a significant concern and I see no mention in any of the articles how this danger might be offset. No one likes lukewarm coffee, so that’s not really an option. At the same time, we’ve seen numerous lawsuits against places whose hot coffee spilled on a customer. Serving coffee at just the right temperature is a delicate thing. One has to be careful in the consumption of hot beverages.

Now, mix that hot beverage with a sexual activity whose sole purpose is to create pleasure. One does not sit daintily in a chair while being brought to the point of orgasm. If such activity does not cause one to roll their eyes back and lose control of some faculties, someone’s not doing a good job. The potential for danger here is considerable. One might dump hot coffee in their own lap. Ouch. One might spill coffee on their temporary partner. Still not good. With the potential for scalding so extreme, lawsuits alone might close the cafe within weeks of its opening.

I suppose there might be some solutions here. Lids on the cups are a must. Secure cup holders are probably a good idea, too. No one wants to risk bumping a table and sending a cup of hot liquid tumbling the wrong direction. Plenty of space between seats is necessary to prevent one from accidently causing harm to a neighboring customer as well. Even with all those precautions, though, the danger for serious burns still exists. I don’t see any way to totally guard against spilling.

Just A Bit Sexist

While the term “oral sex” is preferred, other descriptions of the services offered at Facegirl make it rather clear that men are the target audience. Granted, there’s nothing saying that women can’t get the same oral service. However, all the service providers, at least those mentioned in the articles, are women. If one is lesbian or bisexual then there’s not as much of a problem. Straight women, unfortunately, seem to be out of luck.

Granted, male service providers might yet be added. The opening date for Facegirl has been kept as to a nebulous “end of the year” timeframe. That gives Facegirl’s owners (which are all male) time to consider how best to service a female clientele that might actually become a dominant part of their business. Women are certainly more unsatisfied by the lack of oral attention provided by their male partners.  Women also, generally,  are able to enjoy oral sex much more than men. Give them a place that provides quality service with a quality cappuccino and they won’t think twice about dropping $55.

A Little Privacy, Please

Interior design is a big deal in coffee shops. The wrong design can keep customers hanging out and re-ordering drinks, or can send them hurrying out the door. Companies such as Starbucks and Caribou Coffee have spent millions of dollars studying and refining their interior design. I’ve looked over all the articles and find no mention of just how Facegirl is going to approach that issue, and yes, it really does matter.

Coffee shops are generally open spaces. A sense of community is critical to building a strong customer base. Yet, not too many of us are exhibitionists. Walking into a coffee shop to the sight of half-dozen overweight old men getting blowjobs is probably not welcoming to a large number of people. Something tells me an  open floor plan isn’t going to work well.

Privacy might be the make-or-break point here. Being able to serve a high volume of people is going to be critical to profitability. How does one maximize the space while still affording the guests both comfort and privacy? Setting people in dark booths with sticky floors is less than appealing. If the setting isn’t pleasing and maintenance of the facility top-notch, this could quickly dissolve into a seedy dive that no one wants to visit.

My, What An Interesting Growth You Have There

Three words: sexually transmitted diseases. Prostitution is legal in Switzerland. Service providers have to be registered and part of that oversight involves regular testing. The likelihood of transferring a disease from provider to guest is relatively small. However, I can’t imagine that Facegirl is going to test its guests. I suppose they could do a quick pinprick that would check for the most common diseases. But any serious testing would take hours.

The disease factor is the one issue that the coffee shop is going to find the most difficult to control. In addition to STDs, other communicable diseases are likely to be easily transferred  in such an environment. Think Ebola. Facegirl is going to draw a lot of international tourists and with international tourism, no matter what the business, comes the risk of spreading communicable disease. This is how plagues get started. The service being provided, no matter how careful they are, still involves bodily fluids. Bodily fluids are one of the primary ways in which communicable diseases spread.

Walk in for a cup of coffee and walk out with a smile that might kill you.

Sharing Isn’t Always Caring

We’re all for sexual openness, having multiple partners, group sex, and all the fun that goes along with varied sexual activities. We’re also in favor of sharing coffee with intimate friends. We don’t really go for a lot of restrictions around here. However, we are very careful in vetting with whom we choose to play.

The more I think about it, an open coffee shop, where one cannot control the clientele, seems like a very dangerous place to set up any manner of sexual activity. The risks and dangers are high compared to the few minutes of pleasure one might receive. There are a lot of questions for which I’m not finding answers.

I still like the basic premise, though. Maybe we’ll give the whole coffee and blowjob thing a try … if we can keep the cats and the kids from interfering. Yeah, it’s not likely to happen.

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PotD
Conversation
May 16, 2015
charles i. letbetter

charles i. letbetter

Conversation (2014)

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” ― Dave Barry

[one_half padding=”4px 8px 0 4px”]Some of the most pleasant memories from my childhood are of accompanying my late father to the donut shop on those rare mornings during the summer months when he’d actually let me go.  Most days he went alone because for him this wasn’t necessarily a pleasure trip; it was work. I understand him not wanting to drag a child along with him every time; the effectiveness would have been lost. Yet, I was always amazed by what inevitably happened.

We would walk into the little donut shop,  a tiny place that couldn’t have been more than 500 square feet in size, and everyone knew who he was. “Hey, Preacher!” they’d call. “Who’s that little devil ya’ got with ya’?” He would place our order: a maple glazed long john and coffee for him, a french cruller and chocolate milk for me. We’d sit at a table with a group of men I didn’t know, and then I would lose my father. He’d sit there in conversation for the next hour while I nibbled at my cruller. I knew better than to interrupt. When finished, we’d head for the door and one of the men would inevitably say something about maybe seeing us on Sunday. Rarely did that happen, but occasionally it would.

That is how I learned that about the power of coffee as a conversation tool. More than just a vital drink to keep us going during the day, coffee is a substance that gives us the ability to bond with people we’ve never met, individuals with whom we might have absolutely nothing else in common except our love for that hot caffeinated beverage. I’ve had conversations with complete strangers, people I didn’t know and would never see again, run deep and philosophical, sometimes even confessional, over a cup of coffee. There have been romantic moments, moments of great debate, and periods of comfort that never would have happened were it not for the shared love of coffee.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 8px”]I have long made coffee shops my preferred place for meeting new people, partly because they’re very public and therefore somewhat safer, but also because I know the power of coffee to get people to talk. I can’t explain it; I don’t understand the psychological reasons for why strangers joined together over a beverage are more likely to be conversant than in situations where nothing is available. What I know is that it happens, people relax even to the point they become animated in their conversation, all while holding a cup of coffee.

There have been hundreds if not thousands of conversations over coffee over the years, but it still the ones with Poppa that I remember the most.

“I think I might be in love,” I remember telling him for the first time.
He looked into his coffee and said, “Love doesn’t require a lot of thought, either it is or it isn’t. You just know.”

Then, there was the time, after sitting through half a cup, I told him, “I’m leaving the church. I don’t like how it’s changed.”
“I’m not surprised,” he said, to my surprise. “Just remember that while the church may change, God doesn’t.”

Finally, there was that last cup of coffee. His was decaf. With tears in his eyes, he said, “You know, this is probably the last time we get to do this (have coffee together).”
I choked back my own tears. “Maybe so, but you’ve given me enough great memories to last through a lifetime of coffee.”

Coffee seems like such a simple beverage, but there’s no question in my mind that it changes lives unlike any other drink we encounter. So here’s to coffee, and conversations, and great memories. May they all be part of our lives forever.[/one_half_last]

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PotD  /  Social Commentary
The Joys of Coffee
May 10, 2015
charles i. letbetter

charles i. letbetter

At The Coffee Shop (2011)

If it wasn’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever. -David Letterman

[one_half padding=”4px 8px 0 4px”]Yes, I’m well aware that today is Mother’s Day in the US  and yes I’ve shot enough mothers and children to have given that the theme for the whole week. That’s rather crowded territory today, though, and if you’re sitting on your computer or mobile device reading this then you’re obviously not spending time with your mother, for reasons we won’t discuss, so we decided to go a very different direction for this week and talk about something that is near and dear to my own heart: Coffee.

I have been drinking coffee since I was 14. Granted, I didn’t drink as much of it then as I do now, and I tended to dump loads of sugar and milk in it until Poppa caught me and said if I were going to drink the stuff I had to drink it straight. I think he was hoping that would put me off and that I’d stop, but it didn’t. I learned to drink it black and enjoy the flavor of the bean itself, not all the flavor and garbage dumped on top. To this day, I fail to understand the fascination with lattes and cappuccinos and other fancy coffee-based drinks. I suppose there’s nothing wrong if you really like all that sweetness and confection actually in your coffee. I prefer my coffee black, a bold roast if you please, something of moderate acidity.

Coffee drinking has taken a lot of heat over the years (pardon the pun). I was told it would stunt my growth, that it would damage my kidneys, and that it could lead to more dangerous addictions (yes, a dear old church lady actually told me that). Some religions forbid the drinking of coffee because of its caffeine (they’d rather their members not be too alert). Like anything else we try to enjoy, there’s always someone right there waiting to tell us we shouldn’t. We tend to ignore those people.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 8px”]Instead, we prefer to consider facts that say things like:

  • Coffee is the biggest source of antioxidants in the Western diet
  • A single cup of coffee contains 11% of the daily recommended amount of Riboflavin (vitamin B2), 6% of Pantothenic Acid (vitamin B5), 3% of Manganese and Potassium, and 2% of Niacin and Magnesium.
  • Drinking coffee can increase your metabolism 3 to 11%.
  • Coffee drinkers are up to 65% less likely to get Alzheimer’s Disease.
  • People who drink four cups of coffee a day are 80% less likely to develop cirrhosis.

What may be most compelling about coffee in today’s society, though, is its qualities as an object of social construct. Coffee shops have become the meeting place for everything from first dates to important business meetings. Today’s picture, made somewhat humorous by the expressions on the men’s faces, is an example of coffee’s social attraction. A large storm had just swept through the area, flooding streets and knocking out power. Anyone in the neighborhood when the storm hit was just stuck. There was no getting out. Where did they go? The coffee shop. Their large carafes of coffee were already full and an honor box let patrons pay without needing a cash register. The coffee shop offered comfort, safety, friendship. and a place to pretend to get work done.

So here’s to coffee, the good and bad and everything else we’ll talk about this week. Now, put down your phone and go talk to your mother. Maybe over a cup of coffee.[/one_half_last]

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