Negative Affirmations
There’s something different about my editing screen this morning and I’m not sure exactly what it is. The margins are off and that’s… unsettling. I’m not sure whether to blame one of the random software updates or my own ignorance, which seems to be growing by the hour. Being confident in one’s self is difficult when one loses the certainty of what one thinks they know.
Yesterday was mild. I read. I wrote. I napped. I read some more. I made dinner. Kat had a day full of haircuts, one right after another with no break. She fell asleep soon after she got home and I’m not sure she’s moved since. So everything is cool, right?
Not hardly. First, there was the matter of trying to get my prescription filled. I contacted the prescribing doctor who responded with, “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of it.” Ten minutes later, I got a second message, “All taken care of.” So, I check the pharmacy app and it’s back to “Getting refilled.” WHAT THE LIVING FUCK! I need the fucking medicine and I’m fucking tired of having to wait forever to get the damn thing filled!
Then, there was the matter of a recurring charge that shouldn’t be recurring or charging. We went over this with the bank three months ago. Yet, there it was again, $100 missing from my account. The bank replaced the funds, BUT their solution for preventing another incident was to replace my card. Again. Fine, order a new card. The problem with that is that not only will I have to go through and change every instance of my card number with every authorized service, but more importantly, I DON’T HAVE ACCESS TO THE MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT! I can’t buy milk or cat litter or a piece of sanity until the new card arrives. Normally, a new card would be here by the end of the week. However, there’s a freaking holiday in the middle of the week so who the fuck knows when I’ll get the new card and be able to make the necessary purchases.
Yes, the computer is still giving me fits, but no one seems terribly interested in helping resolve that problem. $300 takes care of it. Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter or CashApp: $ciletbetter. Feel free to help ease my suffering.
Since I can’t order more milk, which is the one food item we consume the most, I warned the kids last night to take it easy on the milk. What do I find in the kitchen this morning? Someone had finished the GIANT box of cereal and left the empty box on the counter with a corresponding amount of milk missing. Understand, we’ve only had that cereal a week and it’s already gone. Apparently, someone is using cereal as their primary source of sustenance.
All this and I woke up at 3:30 this morning, unable to go back to sleep. When I don’t sleep, I’m restless. When I’m restless, the cats get restless because I keep kicking them off the bed (it’s dark and I can’t see where they are). When the cats get restless, they get into things like the trash in the kitchen. Then, they wake the dogs. This morning started much too early.
Which leads me to the concept of Negative Affirmations. To hell with all the positive crap about, “you can do this,” and “make the day yours.” No. When a day starts like this, you have to accept the fact that things go wrong, things happen that annoy you and make you angry, and accept that how you feel about those things is okay. So, here are some Negative Affirmations for this morning.
It’s okay to be pissed off when no one takes out the goddamn trash.
Why is the trash bag sitting in the middle of the floor in the first place? No wonder the cats are tearing holes in the bag. If they can tie off the bag and set it on the floor, they can take it the fuck outside.
Go ahead and complain about the heat.
Everyone’s hot, everyone’s complaining about it in their head, so go ahead and say it out loud: it’s too damn hot. Alter your plans to stay where it’s cool. No one has the right to ask you to go out in this mess. It’s not healthy. Do they want you to fucking die? No? Then they can wait for this damn heat dome to pass before asking you to leave the air conditioning.
No, it’s not an oxymoron to drink hot coffee when it’s hot outside.
The only “moron” is the person suggesting you drink something other than hot coffee in the morning. Those are the kinds of suggestions that can get a person slapped, especially if I’ve not had my coffee yet. Coffee doesn’t increase one’s body temperature. Coffee keeps one from being homicidal in this heat.
Expecting everyone else to have their shit together is not unreasonable.
Never mind that I can’t remember my PIN or my passcode. My faults are not anyone else’s excuse for being inadequate. They don’t need to be adding to your bad mood with their incompetence. We’ll try to be understanding of innocent errors, but if you’re failing at the job you’ve been doing for twenty years, that’s a you problem. We’re going to expect better.
Being drunk before noon is a reasonable coping mechanism.
Just dealing with people is reason enough to drink and if they’re going to start being asshats early in the morning, then someone needs to spike the coffee. Make it a double if the person you’re dealing with is a fucking politician or telemarketer. Go ahead and drink, then take a nap. Otherwise, you might tell someone what you really think of them.
Telling a person to “shove it” is simply direct communication.
Everyone keeps telling us that “communication is key” and that we should be honest and direct. Okay, you can take all your positivity and sunshine and shove it up your ass. Let me have my bad day(s). How’s that for direct and honest?
You don’t have to give a shit about Taylor, Travis, or anyone else who may or may not be in a relationship.
There simply is no good reason for opening up the newsfeed and seeing a story about how much Taylor misses Travis right under the story about Netanyahu dismantling his war cabinet. No one with a brain fucking cares about celebrity private lives. No one with a working brain should. We have our own relationships to worry about.
No, the 70s rock music is not too loud.
There’s no such thing. You’re just jealous because your generation’s music is lame.
There are definitely more, but I’ll save them for another time. Right now, I need to refill my coffee cup that’s more than half empty.
Oh, and if you didn’t read yesterday’s educational post, you have homework to do.
Morning Update: 06/28/24
Before you bother asking, no, I didn’t watch the debate. I never do. There’s little point. First, there was no question from the beginning that the lies were going to be flying everywhere and by all accounts they were. Here is the AP list of lies. It’s not comprehensive because many of them were repeated in different forms throughout the night. Second, we have YouTube and other video sources now, so we don’t have to sit through all the punditry and pedantry of a live broadcast. From what I’ve seen this morning, President Biden looked a lot like Ronald Reagan did in ’88. The Orange Felon looked orange and spoke felonious. Third: Most people have already made up their minds and there’s little, if anything, that will change them. In that regard, the debates are merely moments of malarky. Are we good with that? Yes, I have my concerns, but they’re more at the state and Congressional level, not presidential (just yet).
If you’re wondering how my day went yesterday, I slept a lot, which wasn’t surprising at all given Wednesday’s fun activity. I woke up thinking I might be able to power through it, but by 7:30 I was back in bed and snoring. Nonetheless, the kids did finish mowing the yard and the construction crew finished enclosing the new house next door.
The moment of disappointment for the day came when there wasn’t a USPS morning scan email. In case you weren’t already aware, you can sign up to get an email notification of the mail expected to be delivered each day. This really helps when you’re expecting something valuable and/or important, such as a debit card. Unfortunately, there was no email yesterday which meant we didn’t have any new mail. No debit card. This is a problem because it has been 10 days since the card was ordered.
The letter containing the PIN for that card gave me the number to call and report the card missing. Of course, a missing card is a big deal. So, they had to cancel that card and issue me a new one. Fuck. Another wait. This time, they put a rush on the processing, so it should go into the mail today and be here by Monday. They kindly waived the standard rush fee since it’s already been 10 days and the other card never arrived. I’m sorry, but that means it will likely be Tuesday or Wednesday of next week before I can show you the pictures we took Wednesday.
What was entertaining is that the customer service person I had was quite happy. One of the first things she told me was that my name made her smile. She proceeded to call me “Mr. Let-Us-Be-Better” for the rest of the call. If that’s what shows up on my card, I’m not changing it. 😊 She hummed while she typed, and once was even singing along with a song I assume was playing either in the background or in her earbuds. Her positivity went a long way toward calming my anxiety about not having access to my funds, as meager as they are.
Reuters was kind enough to tell me that Fourth of July cookout costs in the US have risen by 5% this year over last year, and 30% over 2019. Meat and lemonade are the biggest factors there. I was able to catch a rack of ribs on sale earlier this month, so that’s sitting in the freezer. Hopefully, the few other things we’ll need won’t cost too much more, especially since it will likely just be me and the kids. It’s going to be too loud and chaotic in the neighborhood for Kat. In fact, I wouldn’t blame her if she ran and hid for the whole week. Our neighbors tend to start “celebrating” early.
Processing this morning’s picture reminded me that it’s been 14 years since I was last out on the West Coast. This lack of travel thing is starting to get to me. Wednesday’s adventure was fun and really hit at my inert wanderlust. I’m ready to go trekking into whatever wilderness, urban or jungle. Yet, flying with chemo is apparently a problem and Social Security gets upset if I’m out of the state for more than two weeks of the month. I’m sure there’s a solution out there somewhere, but my brain is too addled to think of anything that isn’t filled with prohibitions. Feel free to help me out there.
There’s rain in the forecast. The skies to the West looked dark and menacing when I took the dogs out earlier. Storms are in the forecast for Sunday as well. That will make for an interesting start to “Blow Your Brains Out” week. The rain might prevent houses from catching fire, but it won’t do much to keep digits from being blown off. We’ve been doing the whole fireworks thing long enough you’d think folks would have learned by now that black powder and stupidity don’t mix well. Yet, every year, emergency rooms fill up with too many examples of “watch this” syndrome and “we didn’t expect that” disease.
My stomach wants me to eat but it’s another hour before I can check my glucose. We don’t really have anything for breakfast, anyway. We’re out of bread, bacon, and cereal. Eggs by themselves don’t cut it. Maybe I’ll just eat leftovers from the other night.
Feel free to amuse me.
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