It’s Okay For Boys To Wear Makeup

October 12, 2016

I feel more confident if my makeup looks good. —Ellie Goulding

Major marketing milestones are great, but reaffirming a little boy’s desire to wear makeup is even better.

Kat’s Little Man is bright. He reads well beyond his grade level, excels at math and problem-solving, and is quite sure he already knows everything (and isn’t afraid to say so). That part’s good. Where things become challenging are with his social skills. He likes people, but they annoy the crap out of him. Many of you can relate. They can also hurt his feelings quite easily and one of the most frequent reasons is he likes to wear makeup.

He’s asleep as I write this, but if I were to take a picture at this moment you’d see fingernails with chipped remnants of the nail polish he put on his fingers the other night. He did it himself and did a very good job. That’s about as much as he can get away with at school. The dress code prohibits any child from wearing makeup until fifth grade. If he could, though, he would probably wear makeup to school every day. He likes makeup. A lot. Unfortunately, his expression of that pleasure comes at a price.

So, when Covergirl Cosmetics announced James Charles as their first male spokesmodel, Kat and I thought it was a big deal. I waited until the Tipster had gone to bed before calling Little Man over to the computer. “Hey look!” I said, excited to show him something cool. “Here’s another boy who likes to wear makeup!”

His response was not what I expected.

Biases Start Early

“Yeah, I know. The girls at school still say that nail polish and makeup is only for girls and that boys can’t wear makeup.”

No excitement. He looked at the computer then down at his fingernails. I didn’t need to ask to know how he felt, but I did so that he can learn to express how he’s feeling. “I’m sorry they said that. How did that make you feel?”

“Angry,” he said. “I like wearing makeup and I want to wear makeup but those girls are just stupid.” He was visibly, physically agitated. Not wanting to get him upset right before bedtime, I tried to distract him with this:

It’s official: so excited to welcome @JCharlesBeauty to the COVERGIRL family. ❤️ #COVERGIRLJames! pic.twitter.com/088HlYBjQI

— COVERGIRL (@COVERGIRL) October 11, 2016

That didn’t work. “Yeah, but they still won’t let ME wear makeup to school,” Little Man mused as he returned to his seat on the couch.

“Well, maybe that could be you on that cover one day,” I tried, grasping at straws. I wanted him to be excited and encouraged and that just wasn’t happening.

He looked back at the picture on my monitor and said, “I can do better makeup than that.”

All About The Makeup

At this point, I should probably emphasize that sexuality is not part of the conversation we have with Little Man. He’s not close to understanding that topic yet and we see no reason to push him in any direction. That decision is his to make when he’s ready to make it. At this point, we try hard to not separate our friends into groups. Whether they’re gay, straight, bi, trans, or gloriously somewhere between all those choices, we still refer to them simply as our friends. The sexuality conversations can come later.

What matters for the moment is that Little Man really likes makeup. He always has. Kat has pictures of him when he was only two after he had gotten into her makeup. To some extent, that exploration is quite normal for a little boy at that age. I remember my middle son, the one who is now a Marine, coming out of the bathroom when he was four, his face covered in his mom’s makeup. Many parents have similar stories. Where other boys move on, though, Little Man never has. He loves makeup and is constantly “borrowing” his mom’s best makeup (always the expensive stuff) for his “experiments.”

Since the kids were on fall break last week, Kat took some time with her little guy to teach him how to apply makeup properly. She gave him a palette and the appropriate applicators, then let him put the makeup on her face. While his color choices made it appear in pictures as though his mom had a black eye, his general application and blending were surprisingly good. His eye shadow application was spot on. The kid may well be a natural.

Supporting Little Man’s interest in makeup isn’t difficult. We have plenty of makeup appropriate for experimenting. Kat has the knowledge of how to teach him to use the makeup correctly. No one at home judges his choice in any way (though we might sometimes wince at his color combinations).

We can’t control what happens when he leaves the house, though. He’s not content only wearing makeup at home. Little Man wants to look good when he goes out, even if it’s to the store, and we can’t control the responses he encounters in those situations.

Building A Better World

The atmosphere for boys like Little Man is improving. We have male friends who wear makeup when they visit so he knows he’s not alone. People around him who know him help by not reinforcing old gender stereotypes. There are no “girl” colors or “boy” colors.

Attitudes, though, are a different thing. Seeing that even in second-grade children have already developed opinions about what boys can do or girls can do is disappointing. We not only limit our children’s means of self-expression, but we also limit their ability to explore and try new things. We limit their goals and their desire to achieve when we tell them that they can’t do something simply because of their gender.

As adults, our responsibility is to build a better world for our children. We make sure the air remains breathable. We make sure the planet can continue to provide food. Their safety, education, and ability to achieve are matters we take seriously. We fail all children, though, when we establish limits because of their gender. Boys can wear makeup. Girls can sport crew cuts. Neither should ever feel that anyone is limiting them because of who and what they are.

If we do not provide that world for our children, we all have failed.

pop culture / Social Commentary

Dads Change Diapers, Too

October 11, 2016

Dads do a lot of things with their kids, but in some places, the biggest challenge of all is changing a diaper.

charles i. letbetter - Dads chance diapers, too

When Dads step up to help with the kids they often discover the world isn’t ready to accommodate them.

When my oldest son was born, our circumstances were such where it was possible, and made sense, for him to hang with me most the day. He went everywhere I did. He had his own space at the office. He was expected in the conference room. Everyone from interns to grandmas fawned over him at the radio station. Okay, he almost caused a bomb scare at City Hall, but every place else we went he was welcome and we had a lot of fun.

One of our favorite things to do, especially in the winter, was walking laps around the mall. He loved being in his stroller and usually would fall asleep for a nice, long nap after about an hour and a half. I had time for coffee and a sandwich and chatting with other dads before he would wake up and demand to be fed. Rarely did we ever have a problem of any kind. The mall was a cool place to be.

Unless his tummy was upset. Again, it didn’t happen often, but when it did, changing the child’s diaper required wearing a hazmat suit and a biohazard disposal team. Finding a place to change him, though, was impossible. All the baby changing stations in the mall were placed in women’s restrooms. Changing him out in the middle of everything was both cruel (to everyone) and unsanitary. Yet, we had little choice. The problem was significant.

Hello, Babies Act

Apparently, someone in Congress finally experienced this baby changing problem and decided to correct it. This past Friday, President Obama signed the Babies Act, legislation that requires baby changing stations in men’s public restrooms. We can thank Rep. David Cicilline (D-Rhode Island) for authoring the act, which passed with only 34 “nay” votes (all Republicans, if that matters).

There are some caveats. The bill only applies to public buildings, ie, court houses, government office buildings, etc. So, the folks at Simon Properties still aren’t required to put them in their men’s restrooms (though, to their credit, Simon was one of the first to start voluntarily putting baby stations in men’s rooms about 15 years ago). Some privately owned restaurants are still not likely to have them.

Also, the bill doesn’t apply if the restrooms are not meant to be public and only one accessible facility per floor is required. That last exception inevitably means that your child’s diaper will not blow out until you are on the extreme opposite end of the floor from the restroom. Trust me, babies understand bathroom geography. Still, this is at least a start, right?

Not Everyone Understands

Sadly, when I saw mention of the Babies Act being signed into law, there was immediately below it a comment claiming the law was a prime example of government over-reach. Another decried it as the demasculinization of our gender. There are plenty of people who don’t understand just how severe the problem is.

Yet, wander out with a little one still in diapers and the problem is likely to make itself evident very quickly. While little ones can have some of the most disgusting diapers every known to humanity, the well-contained accidents of a toddler can be just as challenging to change. There is a good reason those changing stations come with straps! Changing a toddler in public is risking having to chase said toddler bare-bottomed through whatever facility one is in.

Should government be involved? Uhm, yeah. It’s called equal access. Changing diapers is a matter of public heath, folks. Those little things have the ability to carry some pretty serious diseases. Do you really want us changing one of those a mere ten feet from where you’re trying to eat? Without appropriate facilities. That’s what happens.

Everyone Benefits

Changing a baby with a bad diaper is a big deal. On one occasion, my little guy had totally blown out his diaper and ruined his clothes. The stroller wasn’t in the best of shape, either. I knew I couldn’t change him out in the middle of the food court. We needed a restroom. One of the other dads suggested I try some of the stores to see if they would let me use an employee restroom or something.

So, off we went, my smelly, poo-covered child and I, from store to store, looking for a restroom. Most of the employees we encountered were young women who didn’t have children of their own and were not management. They looked at the little guy in horror as they sent me on down the row. Finally, after at least a half-dozen stores had refused us, a female manager motioned to us.

“Come on in here,” she said, looking both ways as if we were committing a crime. “We’ll fix you up a place to clean that baby.” The employee restroom wasn’t much, but she cleaned off a counter, put down a couple of pieces of plastic, and then retrieved some clean towels and dampened them with warm water. We got the little guy changed and dressed and she helped me dispose of the damaged goods appropriately.

No parent and baby should have to go through that desperation. No public place should be exposed to the horrors of a child’s diaper. It’s good that we finally have a law that sets a standard so that dads can attend to infant cleanliness.

Thank you, Congressman Cicilline.

Current Issues / PotD

Sexual Assault Was Never Macho

October 11, 2016

charles i. letbetter - sexual assault is never macho

Sexual assault is not a prize or a victory; neither is it something to be bragged about even if it didn’t actually happen.

charles i. letbetter - sexual assault has never been macho

Sexual assault is not a joke, nor a conquest. To treat it as anything other than a crime is wrong.

Processing the pictures above was emotionally difficult. They were shot for a special project a few years ago and I’m thankful to say that what appear to be bruises and abrasions on the model’s face are just an incredibly good makeup job. There are others from this project, a fight scene in particular, that I still can’t stomach. Never mind that I know the assault is fake, that no punches were actually thrown, that every step was carefully choreographed. The images are still disturbing.

I know there is perhaps some sexist bias in what I’m about to say, but I was raised to respect women. My father gave us no choice. He started by setting a strong example in how he treated our mother. We never heard him so much as raise his voice to her. He demanded nothing less from my brother and me.Being disrespectful to our mother was a capital offense and the quickest way to get a belt applied to our tail ends.

So, when I look at the recent news and see apologists such as Pat Robertson attempting to excuse a discussion of sexual assault as nothing more than macho talk, I’m not just disturbed, I’m angry.

Being Macho Is Nothing To Brag About

Eighth-grade gym was when I first encountered someone trying to act macho. There was one bully in particular who figured out that offensive language bothered me and was constantly using that as a means of torment. As strange as it may seem now, repeated use of the word “fuck” could almost bring me to tears (partly because I wasn’t sure what the word even meant).

The locker room was the worst. There, this loud, unruly, frequently suspended classmate would attempt to brag about how “macho” he was. He would tell in graphic detail tales of his alleged sexual exploits with different girls in our class. Each afternoon was a new claim about a different girl.

No one bought his act. First, everyone knew he was lying about his conquest. He was called out on that fact more than once, and on at least two occasions I can remember, he took a punch to the face when the wrong guy’s girlfriend was mentioned. Every last one of us was interested in sex, mind you — we were 14-uear-old boys in the 70s. We looked forward to experiencing it for ourselves. Still, the whole macho thing wasn’t cool. If anything, acting macho was a good way to get your nose bloodied.

Bad Excuses For Bad Behavior

Who would have ever thought that all the way here in 3016 we would have a presidential candidate who not only brags about committing sexual assault but then attempts to defend it with claims of “just acting macho?” Even a year ago, when it was already clear that this election cycle was going to fly off the rails, I don’t think any reasonable person would imagine such horrible words coming out of a candidates mouth.

What is unquestionably worse, though, is that people are defending both what was said and what allegedly happened. There can be no more certain sign of complete and utter moral decay that for someone like Robertson, someone who has made a career of claiming to represent the most popular deity in the United States, to defend such disrespectful, disgusting, and distasteful discussions as nothing more than, “being macho.”

Mind you, I never liked Robertson in the first place, something else I learned from my father. Even n the early days of the 700 Club, Poppa called Robertson a charlatan who was siphoning money out of the pockets of those who already had the least to give. Still, to actually sit there on television and endorse bragging about sexual assault is so far beyond the pale as to completely remove any thin shred of integrity the old codger might have had left. There is no excuse for sexual assault and no room for those who tolerate it.

Sexual Assault Is Not A Joking Matter

What may be most disturbing is that so many apologists for the candidate are treating the subject of sexual assault as though it were a humorous topic. Their complete dismissal of the seriousness of the matter is an affront to every woman on the planet. I am mind-blown by the flippancy with which too many people are responding to the candidate’s statement.

Fortunately, women are fighting back in a very powerful way by telling their stories. British author Kelly Oxford called for women to tell their stories of sexual assault, and they have, by the thousands. Their stories are not easy reading. Accounts of sexual assault are not entertaining. In fact, having read a few last night, I can only imagine how difficult it was for women to dredge up those horrible memories.

We have talked before about the problem this country has with overcoming a persistent rape culture. Treating sexual assault as though it were some kind of adolescent right of passage reinforces that rape culture. As we continue to allow such conversations to exist we continue to put every woman on this planet at risk.

We Know Better

Some have attempted to dismiss the candidate’s remarks as merely locker room banter. I can imagine there are still some locker rooms where such misogyny is still tolerated, but those locker rooms are the exception, not the rule. Want to know what a professional locker room is like? It’s LeBron James picking up the towels his teammates left behind. It’s the Colts dancing after a victory.The locker room is also the seen of a lot of crying after a loss and challenges among teammates when someone fails to pull their weight.

We all know that sexual assault is wrong. Being macho has never been cool and has never been an excuse. There is no reason to tolerate this among anyone. We would punish any teenager we caught acting up like this. We certainly have no reason to tolerate it from a presidential candidate or his supporters.

Dismissing sexual assault is disgraceful and so are those who excuse it.

pop culture / PotD

Our Obsessive Pursuit Of Happiness Makes Us Sad

October 9, 2016

charles i. letbetter - our happiness obsession makes us sad

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. —Mahatma Gandhi

charles i. letbetter - our obsessive pursuit of happiness makes us sad

Our relentless pursuit of happiness is very likely the one thing that is making us unhappy

Our little ones regularly tell me that I’m mean. Typically, that accusation comes when I tell them to go to bed, or don’t let them play with knives, or deny them the fourth cookie. In their view, I am impeding their path to happiness. For all their short little lives, other people have been focused on making them happy: grandparents, teachers, babysitters, etc. They are told in a thousand different ways that their happiness is what matters. Then, Kat and I come along and ruin by insisting that they take a bath, or not play in the litter box, or tell them to stop climbing the walls in the hallway (not kidding). We are so very mean.

I’m rather sure that when Thomas Jefferson included that line about the “pursuit of happiness,” he didn’t realize the level of horror he was unleashing on us a little more than two centuries later. We have come to take his words as a mandate: we must pursuit happiness. We think that we are not being fulfilled as individuals if we are not pursuing happiness. Oh, and by the way, it is our own individual happiness that matters. If your pursuit of happiness interferes with my pursuit of happiness then what you are doing is wrong. This is where our current social thought process has taken us.

Could it be that we have become so incredibly focused on being happy that we’ve lost sight of all the other things in life that matter? Does happiness need to be our highest priority or might there be more to life?

America, The Happy

Such obsessiveness over whether we are happy is apparently a uniquely American thing that doesn’t occur in other societies. Ruth Whippman, an English writer, journalist, and documentarian currently living in California, wrote a rather interesting book, AMERICA THE ANXIOUS: How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks. You can get a taste of her book in this article on Vox. Part of the motivation for writing her book was the experience of coming from a society where happiness isn’t given a second thought and being tossed into the heart of a culture that is wholly obsessed with how happy they are. What she notices is that, as hard as we try, we’re really not any happier. In the Vox article she says:

To an outsider, it can sometimes feel as though the entire population has a nationwide standardized happiness exam to take and everyone is frantically cramming the night before to get a good grade. Like a stony-faced “that’s hilarious” after a joke in place of laughter — another mildly unnerving staple of conversation in this country — it appears that somewhere along the line, the joy has been sucked out of American happiness.

Americans are obsessed with being happy, I am convinced, because we somehow see it as part of our national birthright. We look at our lives and if we don’t think we’re happy then, somehow, our country is letting us down. Certainly, the Republican candidate for President whose slogan is “Make America Great Again,” enjoys such ridiculous appeal despite all that is inappropriate about him because what he’s actually saying is, “Make American Happy Again.” People respond to that desire to be happy, even if it denies happiness to others.

Our Entitlement Philosophy

Because we, as Americans feel entitled to being happy, we give that feeling a priority and refuse to accept any other emotion for very long. Sadness is not acceptable. Depression requires medication, as does anxiety. If we are angry then we “have issues.” One who is overly enthusiastic is “out of touch,” but one who is embarrassed or feeling guilty needs to “get in touch with their inner self.” We look at happiness as our diety-delivered right and refuse to accept anything else.

One of the most ridiculous yet widely followed and often quoted statements in history comes from Ayn Rand:

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.

Can you see how that self-centered piece of horseshit is guiding the entitlement philosophy of an entire political party? Rand, and those who blindly follow her, put one’s personal happiness as a moral imperative above things such as being kind, helping others, compassion, caring, and empathy. When we become so singularly focused 0n achieving a state of happiness, when our purpose in life is to please ourselves first, we end up with policies that are anti-women because that infringes on the happiness of the men making the laws. If our integrity hinges on an imaginary emotional state of bliss, then we develop hate toward others whose conditions of poverty make us look bad. When we depend on the unachievable as proof of our values, we then question and criticize the values of others.

Creating A Happy Culture

I’m sitting here looking at Little Man’s report card for the first term. He’s in second grade. Back in the cultural stone age of when I went to school, second grade was the last year we received the grossly over-generalized grades of S for satisfactory and U for unsatisfactory. Either we understood the material or we didn’t. No gray area. By contrast, the grading scale for Little Man’s class is as follows:

4 = Exceeding Standards
3 = Meeting Standards
2 = Working Towards Standards
1 = Not Meeting Standards

There are a tremendous number of 4s on this report, which pleases Kat. However, as Little Man was going over the report card with me this past week, he wasn’t happy. “Threes aren’t good enough,” he told me. “Threes mean I’m just the same as everyone else. 4s mean I’m better than most the people in my class.”

“So, three isn’t good enough?” I asked.

“I wish there was a 5 to show that I’m the best,” he answered. “That would really make me happy.”

Good god, we’re raising an over-achiever. Yet, this is how Little Man defines whether or not he is happy. S for satisfactory would never be enough for him. Exceeding standards isn’t enough for him. This social culture has convinced him that he needs to be on top, leaving everyone else behind, in order to be happy. The kid is likely in for a world of disappointment. Yet, if he demonstrated any lesser amount of determination then he would be labeled as an underachiever and probably considered uncooperative.

The Curse of Mindful Empowerment

In the world of creating happiness, there are two buzz words that come up a lot. One is empowerment, the other is mindfulness. On their own, both words can have some really positive meaning. Yet, as we’ve taken them to become significant parts of our push to find what makes us happy, we might have taken both words a little too far. I like what Ms. Whippman says about empowerment:

As a rule, “empowerment” appears to be the consolation prize for those of us who will never have any actual power, and you can safely assume that no one in any position of genuine authority will be joining in. Creating a Tumblr of photos of your post–C-section wobbling and scarred naked stomach? Empowering! Creating a Tumblr of photos of your post-prostate surgery rectum? Not so much, senator.

Mindfulness requires being completely focused on whatever one is doing right at this moment. For example, if I was fully mindful, I would be totally consumed with writing the article and probably miss the fact that I have water boiling on the stove. Yet, the Mindfulness movement is so large that it has even made the cover of TIME (January, 2014). Should one make a trip to mindfulness.org, the home base of all things mindful, one sees articles such as The 7 Qualities of Mindfulness Trained in the Body Scan and Take a Mindful Hike. Here, happiness comes through hyper-attentiveness on a specific object or thought, not letting the mind wander, and thereby avoiding all things negative. That sentence is an over-simplification, of course, but again it is pushing one to focus on themselves to the exclusion of other things and other people around them.

I’m not anti-self-help, mind you. Rather, I think that when we improve ourselves it should be so that we are better able to help others and our community. Society only works when we are involved outside ourselves.

Going About This The Wrong Way

Happiness is elusive. To the extent that we spend all our time, all our motivation, in the pursuit of a condition we often cannot even define, we end up making our lives miserable. Gallup does an annual Positive Emotions Survey that essentially matters how happy people are. They poll adults in 140 countries and ask the following questions:

• Did you feel well-rested yesterday?
• Were you treated with respect all day yesterday?
• Did you smile or laugh a lot yesterday?
• Did you learn or do something interesting yesterday?

With all the effort Americans put into being happy, one might be tempted to think that we’re at the top of the list. We’re not. The US isn’t even in the top ten. Want to know who is the happiest? People in these countries, scale based on 100 being the happiest:

Paraguay 84
Guatemala 83
Honduras 83
Uzbekistan 83
Ecuador 83
El Salvador 82
Indonesia 82
Costa Rica 81
Uruguay 81
Colombia 81
Switzerland 81

One doesn’t need to look long to realize that none of the countries listed are likely to be engaged in things like empowerment and mindfulness. They’re not doing yoga and attending seminars on How To Be A Better You. Yet, they are consistent, year after year, happier than we are. We’re still in the top 25, mind you, but that people in lesser industrialized countries with fewer opportunities, higher unemployment, and lower wages would still be happier than we are should give us a hint that we’re probably going about this the wrong way.

Perhaps Happy Isn’t What We Need

One of the lessons I learned from going to church every waking moment of my youth is that no one promises us happiness. In fact, we’re pretty much assured that happiness isn’t going to happen all that often. If Poppa were sitting here with me this morning, and perhaps he is, he would likely use this scripture to make his point:

Philippians 4:11-13New International Version (NIV)

¹¹I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do all this through him who gives me strength. [Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.]

Look back up at the questions asked for the Positive Emotions Index. Did you sleep well? The question isn’t whether you slept as long as you want. Neither does it involve the type of bedding on which one sleeps. Simply sleeping well is sufficient and being content with that is more likely to leave us feeling satisfied. Were you treated with respect all day yesterday? That’s going to change from day to day and perhaps even moment to moment. Yet, to the degree we can find contentedness, not happiness, in our situation, regardless of how others treat us, we are more likely to feel better about ourselves.

Now, look what happens when we focus questions outward. Did you help someone else smile or laugh today? Chances are, if you helped someone smile, you were probably smiling also. It is easier to feel good when we are helping others feel good. Did you teach someone something new and interesting today? Does not improving someone else’s life not improve your own at the same time? When we are content, we might just increase our happiness because contentedness allows us to focus outward rather than inward.

We Are Not Cocoons

One would think that the pursuit of happiness is a virtue, a positive character trait to be admired. Unfortunately, Americans, in their obsession to find happiness at any cost, have made that pursuit negative. Too often, our happiness comes at the expense of others. We focus so fully on what we think might make us feel better that we lose sight of what we could do to make the world feel better.

If we were some type of larvae that lives in a cocoon with no interaction with or obligation to the outside world, then sure, focusing on our own happiness might be totally appropriate. We do not live in cocoons, though. We are part of a vibrant, loud, emotional, and needy society. When we focus on our own happiness to the exclusion of those around us, we ultimately do harm to the whole.

Instead, perhaps we should work more to find contentedness and focus our intentions and actions on helping others. Something tells me that when we stop pursuing happiness so hard it might just show up on its own.

Fashion / pop culture / PotD

What If Street Style Were A Competitive Sport

October 7, 2016

I’m very driven by what I do. I am certainly very competitive. I like people who represent the best at what they do, and if that turns you into a perfectionist, then maybe I am. —Anna Wintour

charles i. letbetter - what if street style were a competitive sport

For some people, dressing stylishly is a requirement but what if how we dress were a competitive sport?

Imagine getting up every morning knowing that what you choose to wear could affect your income for the day. What would you choose? Stylish dress with heels that can’t be ignored? Colorful separates with the new ballet flats that are all the rage? Perhaps a dress suit for that meeting this afternoon.

Among the list of characteristics that one might give Americans, casual and competitive are two that would seem to be at odds with each other. How can one be competitive and any portion of them still be relaxed? The answer, of course, is that we’re not competitive and casual about the same things. We’re competitive about our sports, obviously, and a lot of people are competitive about work. Some are competitive about how much stuff they have and what kind of stuff it is. At the same time, we’re very casual about things such as how we dress, what we wear when we go to the store, and how people perceive us when we’re “off duty.”

Many of our workplaces have dress codes, some of which are driven by safety requirements or a need for uniformity and visual recognition. However, what if you were graded based on how stylish you are? Perhaps even more frightening, what would life be like if your compensation and eligibility for advancement were connected to how on trend you are in your choice of clothing? How would that change your life?

Dressing To Be Seen

There is an interesting article in this past Wednesday’s New York Times that is titled The Situation With Street Style. Coming at the end of a month’s worth of fashion shows, the article focuses on an aspect of fashion that has not only changed dramatically but become rather competitive. Before the advent of social media and hordes of street style photographers lingering outside every runway venue, most editors and buyers dressed for anonymity. Part of doing their job was to report on the fashion, not be the fashion. So, they dressed in monochrome outfits that were stylishly boring and reasonably comfortable. Those 14- to 16-hour days can be grueling, so best to dress for the long haul.

However, now there are a number of editors and buyers whose Instagram accounts are followed by hundreds of thousands of people. Being anonymous is no longer an option. Everyone who enters a fashion show, especially those in Europe, is photographed multiple times. Pictures are uploaded to Instagram and other social media almost immediately and those who are recognizable are tagged. For those who once enjoyed anonymity, how they dress has become a liability.

Street style among those who attend Europe’s fashion shows is now competitive. Anna Dello Russo, an editor at large for Vogue Japan, changes her clothes as many as six times a day during fashion weeks so that she’s not continually photographed wearing the same thing as she moves from show to show. For many, dressing stylishly enough to capture the attention of street style photographers isn’t a bonus, but a requirement for the job. They must dress to attract attention which, in turn, drives sales for advertisers.

Taking Competition To The Next Level

Would being competitive about how we dress really be all that bad? In some ways, we are already there. The whole reason many schools have switched to requiring uniforms is because, allegedly, individual style had become so competitive that it was giving rise to theft and bullying. Teenagers can take anything and make it hyper-competitive and sometimes that isn’t a good thing. We also see the same competitiveness in urban cultures where the amount and kind of “bling” one wears is a status symbol. The concept of competitive styling really isn’t that foreign to us.

We tend to push off a lot of the competitiveness as we get older. We’re told to work more as a team and to do that we have to set aside at least a certain portion of our competitive drive. We start dressing similarly to those around us, careful to not dress higher than our status. For example, if one’s immediate supervisor dresses in khaki and cotton button-down shirts, wearing a suit and tie might be seen as an aggressively competitive move. Americans are much more comfortable taking a casual approach to clothing in large part because it feels more friendly.

Competitive dressing could potentially be a good thing, though. Taking our appearance more seriously encourages us to take other things more seriously, especially the work we do. When we put more effort into how we dress, our attitude changes. We tend to act more determined, more focused, and more driven. Women who dress stylishly not only command more attention but also give more attention to their peers. Men who are more attentive to how they dress are generally seen as being more reliable and trustworthy. Being competitive in our everyday style could be a good thing for all of us.

How We Score

Of course, if we’re creating a competition, then we need a scoring system that reflects current trends but doesn’t punish those who can’t afford designer labels. Being able to pull together different pieces to create a unique and attractive look needs to have greater value than merely copying what was on the runway. Taking something simple and turning it into something fabulous would earn bonus points. Companies could have a special employee Instagram account with rewards given for those whose style generates the most likes.

Extreme fashion makes assessing penalties difficult, though. It’s not like one could be dinged for wearing pajamas to work when we’ve seen multiple instances of pajamas on the runway mixed with things like suit jackets and button-down shirts. Then, there’s the question of how to address the inherent sensuality of some designs. Sheer was huge on the runway this season as was wearing bras outside one’s clothing. Addressing what is appropriate without being unnecessarily inhibitive could be challenging.

Ultimately, though, I think putting more emphasis on how we dress, on styling ourselves to attract attention rather than avoid it, might be just the attitude adjustment we’ve been needing. We need to think more of ourselves rather than trying to hide. Our society and culture shouldn’t be dominated by a handful who happen to dress better than everyone else. Going to the effort of looking good, and let’s face it, looking good takes some serious effort, should be rewarded, not discouraged. Perhaps being compensated for making an effort might encourage more people to make an effort. I see that as being a positive thing.

Competitive street styling, your time has come.

Photography

All The Mistakes Photographers Make

October 6, 2016

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. —Oscar Wilde

Photographers make a lot of mistakes. We’re human. So, do we really need to list them all?

I don’t have much time to read while we’re in the middle of covering fashion shows, so I was excited to dive back into the pile of articles and books that have been waiting for me. Okay, so some of my choices might have been mistakes. I really shouldn’t even open an article with a title like: 3 Mistakes Professional Photographers Make That Could Ruin Their Career. I found the article on Modern Lens Magazine, which had copied it from Lightstalking.

The article very briefly addresses three basic mistakes:

Inability to say no
Not improving
Giving clients too much control

So, address those issues and everything is rosy, right? If those are the biggest problems a professional photographer has then it should be easy to correct and start making money. Hundreds of my would-be colleagues are already thinking how the article might apply to them while simultaneously refusing to admit that they make any mistakes at all. We are a rather silly lot when one gets right down to it.

I don’t have a problem with the actual content of the article. What bothers me is the inference that there are only three mistakes that are ruining our business. Fact is, we’re so error-prone (as a group, not you individually, you’re cool because you’re reading this article), that it is a miracle any of us make a profit at all. Those who do make a decent living aren’t error-free, either. They’ve simply learned how to either work around their mistakes or turn their mistakes into customer benefits; enhanced services if you want to think of it that way. We’re all fallible.

Mistakes We Could Make

I’m not sure there is any real benefit to calling out specific mistakes photographers make and saying, “Hey, you, the guy with the viewfinder imprint permanently etched on his face, stop doing that thing you’re doing.” If we are really that oblivious to our problems then we have significantly larger issues we need to address. Professional counseling is highly recommended. Goofs and foul-ups that we’ve already committed are in the past. What we need to avoid are the things that can really ruin our business in the future. A few things that come to mind are:

Calling the client a jackass, even if they are
Setting a call time for 6:00 AM but sending an assistant and not showing up yourself until 10
Screaming at the President’s security team
Drop kicking the client’s yappy Pomeranian
Completely destroying the paint job on client’s $250,000 sports car by insisting that the only way to get the perfect shot is to stand on top of the automobile
Attempting to take photos on the tarmac of an international airport without permission
Bringing your preschool-aged children and letting them eat chocolate as they wander through the racks of designer clothes
Telling everyone on set just exactly how you would bang the model if given the opportunity
Dragging power cords for you lights through a large puddle in which multiple people are standing
Tripping a model because you didn’t like the way she walked
Throwing things onto the runway while a fashion show is in progress
Eating the lunch that was delivered specifically for your client

Yes, every last one of those this has happened. Yes, in each case the photographer’s career was ruined. You’ve been warned. Don’t do these things.

Mistakes We Should Make

Another reason we probably should be careful about calling out photographers’ mistakes is that there are a few “mistakes” that we actually should make. Sure, they don’t put any money in our wallets, but they put good vibes out into the universe, make people smile, and keep us all from becoming the surly old grouch that I already am. Some of the things that come to mind are:

Taking excessive pictures of kittens
Taking excessive pictures of kittens with small children
Moving a shoot to protect an endangered environment even if there’s no reasonable substitute
Giving away pictures to non-profits, without credit, because it helps what they’re doing
Getting involved and caring about the lives of the people on your team, especially if you consistently use the same team
Going over budget because you paused the shoot to help victims of a nearby traffic accident
Taking as many pictures of puppies as you do kittens
Going on vacation and not taking your professional camera
Feeding the models
Trying something new when you already know it probably won’t work
Let a rookie use your best camera for a few frames

There are probably other things I could add to this list but I don’t want you thinking I’m getting soft or anything. The point is, any of the things on that list could end in disaster, especially if you ‘re surrounded by people who don’t like kittens and puppies. Of course, I might ask why in the world you tolerate people who don’t like kittens and puppies; that could be a mistake as well.

Perfection Doesn’t Happen

Look, if you’re trying to be the perfect photographer who does everything exactly right, stop. You’re not going to make it. In fact, you’re more likely to kill yourself trying. We all make plenty of mistakes. Do the best that you can and deal with the mistakes as they happen. Learn as you go and share when it makes sense.

However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that just addressing the three or four things on a list inherently makes you a better photographer. Relax. Be yourself. The person who wrote that article isn’t perfect either.

Editorial / PotD / Social Commentary

Regrets, We’ve All Had A Few, But Then—

October 6, 2016

charles i. letbetter - regrets, we've had a few

Regrets? I think everyone has regrets, and people who say they haven’t are either liars… or narcissists. —Lee Radziwill

charles i. letbetter - Regrets, we all have a few

Regrets are motivational because we can’t fix them. They are permanent reminders we need to do better.

Does anyone else hear Frank Sinatra in their head? I don’t think there’s any escaping that. His song might be part of the issue here.

We have, I believe, a problem owning up to our regrets. There has been a line of popular philosophy the past several years that thinks we should live life with no regrets, that we learn as we go and whatever happens is exactly what was supposed to happen. Such thinking is, in my opinion, complete and utter horseshit. There’s a difference between simply making a mistake and doing something we regret. Regrets can’t be fixed. Regrets are forever.

What got me thinking along this line was an article in Marie Claire about women who regret having children. The article caught my eye because I know some of these women. They both became pregnant while on birth control. They never intended to have children. These women knew in advance that they did not have the temperament to be good mothers. Yet, they allowed family, friends, and/or religion to bully them into keeping the kids. Now, they regret having given in. They feel trapped in a life they never wanted, that arguably should never have happened. Consequence after consequence reminds them that their life was meant to be different. These women really understand the inescapability of regrets.

Regrets happen. Ignore them if you want, but there are lessons to be learned here if we take a moment and pay attention. Don’t shove that regret in the back of your mind and forget. Let it guide you.

Regrets Are Different From Mistakes

Imagine how differently My Way would sound if Frank sang, “Mistakes, I’ve made a few …” It’s just not the same, is it?

Why? Because there is a fundamental difference between mistakes and regrets: Regrets can’t be fixed. The consequences of your actions or inaction are irreversible. Nothing you do makes up for your error. You’re stuck.

Mistakes, on the other hand, might have difficult and long-term consequences, but you have an ability to make amends for the wrong-doing. Let’s say, for example, that in the haze of a misguided youth one commits an act of vandalism. Sure, what you did was wrong, but there are things one can do to rectify the situation. One might repair or replace what was broken, repay a property or business owner, and clean up any mess that was made. Life moves on, lesson learned. Someone says, “Hey, we all make mistakes,” and we put the event in the back of our minds.

Suppose, however, that in committing that act of vandalism one’s actions resulted in the death of someone else. You didn’t intend for anyone to get hurt, but it happened and it was your fault. Nothing you do will ever bring that person back. Even if you take that person’s place, do their work, take care of their family, behave like a model citizen the rest of your life, nothing replaces the soul your actions terminated. Nothing. Ever. That’s a regret. Regrets never go away.

Hopefully, one gets through life with few regrets. Certainly, most of us don’t have the burden of being responsible for someone else’s death. Those we have, though, we need to address and accept.

Facing A Harsh Reality

What do you really regret? When one is asked that question our tendency is to mull over some of our larger mistakes. Mine would be going through my youth trying to be who I thought my parents wanted me to be rather than being myself. A lot of time and energy and money was wasted on things that I never really wanted. Opportunities were missed. Yet, over the years I’ve been able to rectify that problem. Who I am now is who I want to be. Sure, I cannot regain my youth, but I am not bound by the errors in judgment I made when I was 15. Do I wish I had done things differently? Sure, but those were mistakes, not regrets.

My biggest regret is not listening to the stories being told, especially those my parents had to tell. Only after they passed did I begin to realize all the questions that we never asked, the lessons we never had a chance to learn. I can’t get that back. Those stories are all gone, lost to eternity because I wasn’t paying attention. Was the action excusable? No, I knew what I wasn’t doing. We even talked about the need to sit down and record conversations, but we never made the effort for that to actually happen.

Regrets don’t have to be huge, they don’t have to be horrific. Regrets do alter lives, though, and the effects are permanent. Facing them doesn’t give us the ability to change the outcome or make amends. However, accepting our regrets lays the foundation for what we do next with our lives. Our regrets tell us what we must change, what to do differently as we move forward with our lives.

Escaping The Chains

Once we deal with the reality of our regrets, we are then challenged to not become enslaved by them. For the women who regret having children, they struggle to regain their lives, their sense of self-worth. I remember one young woman whose child died at the hands of an abusive husband. For her, the regret of not leaving and protecting her baby was insurmountable and after five years of struggle she committed suicide. Dealing with regrets isn’t always life-altering, but it certainly can be.

What we must understand about regrets is that while lives might be changed by our actions, we are still in control of what happens next. We can’t change the past, but the future we build is our own. Regrets give us the ability to change not only our lives, but perhaps the lives of others.

Each of the women in the Marie Claire article thought they were alone, that they were the only one who ever regretted having children. As they spoke up, though, they discovered that others felt the same way and they all needed help coping with that regret. A community was formed. Books were written. New mothers now have resources to help them because of how others dealt with their regrets.

What we learn and how we respond to our regrets is going to be different for everyone, but the one thing for certain is that we must be willing to move beyond them. Regrets might change our lives but they should never stop them.

PotD / Status

Making The Most Out Of Humpday

October 5, 2016

You don’t have to have a hard-on to bungee jump.—Andrew in Humpday (2009)

charles i. letbetter - Making the best out of humpday

Wednesday, aka Humpday, is a marker: your week is half done. You are going to make it.

I have had a Nina Simone song stuck in my head the past few days and it won’t leave. I step outside, look up, and it’s there:

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel.

It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me yeah
… And I’m feeling good.

It really is a lovely song, but when you look up and realize that those birds you see flying up there are actually turkey vultures, then you get a slightly uncomfortable feeling that maybe we’re not feeling so good after all.

Happy Humpday. This is the last day of Paris Fashion Week. We’ve already reviewed the new Louis Vuitton collection this morning, which was rather cool. Only one more to go and we’re done until February. We can do this, right?

Oh, wait, the kids are home for fall break. There’s no napping today. Instead, we’ll have to do something creative like bake cookies or draw pictures. They helped me make peach cobbler yesterday, which didn’t go too badly. The results were edible. Fighting over who gets to measure the next ingredient gets a bit tiresome, though. Maybe I can convince them to take a long walk.

I don’t mean that as evil as it sounds.

How do we make the most out of Humpday? I know Kat’s struggling, too. Wednesdays can be really rough. We’re still too far from the weekend. Additional stimulus is necessary if we’re going to avoid killing someone. What ever shall we do?

A Little Bit Of Day Music

How anyone makes it through a Humpday without music I don’t know. When we hit this point in the week it takes some serious sounds to keep me moving. Does it really matter if I dance like a one-legged ostrich? No, not at all. We need some serious sounds in our lives to keep us going. Here are a few suggestions:

Yeah, you know I had to slip that last one in there. It really is a cool song. Just try to not think about the vultures.

A Little Light Reading

You know how Wednesdays can be, sometimes you need to just step away before things get violent. The problem is that you really don’t have the time to get immersed in a good book. Someone has to do all the work that no one else is touching. You’ll also need to fix the fuckups that were left for you. There’s no way you can sneak off for the entire afternoon. What you need is something short and distracting. Do we have suggestions, damn straight we do. These are about as distracting as we could find.

You might start with What Sex Means For World Peace. No, it’s not scandalous. This is real foreign policy talk going on here. If we want world peace we need to focus more on women’s rights.

… the very best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is not its level of wealth, its level of democracy, or its ethno-religious identity; the best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is how well its women are treated. What’s more, democracies with higher levels of violence against women are as insecure and unstable as nondemocracies.

If that doesn’t work for you, then perhaps you can try something a little more provocative such as A Professional Sex Toy Tester’s Guide To Buying A Vibrator. Why? Consider this:

Why, if existing rabbits and dildos are doing such a good job at getting us off, do we need more? “As women become more comfortable with the concept of using toys, the technologies and materials that we might use to create them develop too,” says Jaques. So there’s always room for a new favourite to make its mark. At Lovehoney, they hold regular “gap analysis” meetings,where the boardroom walls are plastered with hundreds of polaroids of their current toy range to identify what’s missing. “We also look to other industries and markets for new ideas,”explains Jaques. “You’d be surprised how many of our toys have been inspired by a power tool or communications device.”

Now, some of you take Humpday rather literally, so for those of you in that camp, I might suggest 11 Ways to Make Doggy Style Even SEXIER. Nope, I’m not going to comment.

A Little Light Exercise

You don’t want to overdo it, of course, but getting out and taking a walk really isn’t a bad idea. Yeah, there may be a chance of rain late this afternoon, but for most the day the temperature is going to be lovely. Getting out of wherever for a minute or two gives you a chance to step away from the stress and the people causing it and breathe. You don’t need to work up a sweat, mind you. That could make things uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Again, it’s that whole going-back-to-the-office thing that you have to keep in mind. A gentle stroll for ten minutes or so, roughly the same amount of time someone else might spend smoking a cigarette, should be just about right. You can then go back in with a clearer head and power through the rest of your Humpday without any serious problems.

Of course, the ultimate experience here might be to walk to the nearest coffee shop and grab a cup. The walk, the caffeine, the fresh air, all sound like the perfect recipe to keep your hands off the throat of that lazy, no-good … uhm, well, you know who.

We Can Do This

We’re strong. We’ve been through weeks worse than this and survived. Only two more days after this one and you have the weekend. Or something. If you don’t have the weekend, there’s surely a break for you out there somewhere. Look for it. Set a goal. You’re getting closer with every passing second.

And if that doesn’t work, I have a shovel. We’ll bury the bodies and pretend nothing ever happened. Happy Humpday.

Art / Fashion / PotD

Why A Fashion Show Is Still Important

October 4, 2016

No one has ever found a solution for not doing a fashion show. —Anna Sui

charles i. letbetter - WhyA Fashion Show Is Still IMportant

I have more than one reason for covering fashion show after fashion show. They really do matter.

I’m sitting here still somewhat bleary-eyed, despite being on my third cup of coffee. The Chanel fashion show just ended a few minutes ago in Paris. I’m waiting on still images before I begin writing my review for Pattern. This season is almost over. My body can feel it. Relief, and sleep, is near.

Why do I keep doing this? Twice a year, I completely upend my life and my sleep schedule to cover four weeks of fashion show after fashion show. A couple of years ago, I tried watching them all, over 200, and it nearly killed me. I’ve cut back since then. We will have reviewed about 83 shows this season, having watched roughly 180. That number might seem small compared to the marathon of a couple of years ago. Trust me, though, it is still exhausting.

Why do we do this? Why do I continue to put my body through this torture twice a year? Obviously, there’s nothing in any of these shows that I’m actually going to wear. I’m old, set in my ways, and have a total dad bod. There are only three or four looks that are comfortable on me. That’s not going to change. So, why am I looking at dresses and crop tops and, what the fuck, Karl Lagerfeld opened the show with a couple of robots?

Okay, so on one hand, it’s my job. Not bad work. At the same time, though, there are more important reasons to pay attention to a fashion show. There is a relevance here that is important.

Fashion Is Art

A fashion show is something unique to behold, but what we see on the runway doesn’t just appear out of thin air. Every piece that we see starts with a creative idea on the part of the designer. Many designers, including Lagerfeld, still start with a sketch. They consider shape, color, fabric, form, and function among a number of different influences as they decide how to put together something that is wearable but also interesting.

Once they have a concept, designers then create a pattern and a sample. Often, what one sees in a fashion show is that sample, not yet in production. The sample is the designer’s concept come to life, a chance to see how closely reality can match the idea. Designers deal with issues such as fabric weight and elasticity as they try to pull and pin and tack and sew things into place. Sometimes the concept doesn’t work, the fabric won’t do what the designer wanted. They start over. And over.

The average major-label fashion show contains approximately 45 looks. That’s 45 times the designer has gone through the entire creative process. Of course, large fashion houses have a creative director overseeing large design teams. Without them, the fashion show would never happen. Every step of the way, however, there is artistry in what they do. When art museums display major exhibits of fashion work by leading designers, we begin to see all the creative artistry that is fashion. Seeing the work in a museum always feels a bit too antiseptic for me, though. I’d rather see the fashion show, see the work on the runway, moving, flowing, and being the living art that the designer intended. This is where the excitement is.

Fashion Is Critical To The Economy

Fashion is a $3.3 TRILLION industry. Apparel accounts for a full two percent of the global Gross Domestic Product (GDP). Nearly 60 million people are employed in the manufacture of textiles and clothing alone. That number does not even begin to include all the people employed by the various fashion houses and conglomerates, the retail store employees, or the millions of people involved in behind-the-scene logistics. There is not a country in the industrially developed world that does not depend on fashion as a significant part of its economy.

Stop and think about this: In New York City alone, fashion accounts for some $11 billion dollars in salaries and $2 billion in tax revenue. What do you think would happen if all of a sudden the fashion industry there just up and moved across the border to Toronto? Granted, that’s not likely to happen, but if it did the economic effect on the city of New York would be devastating! Imagine, then, how entire countries such as France and Italy are affected when fashion hits an economic downturn such as it has been experiencing the past two years. The financial scene isn’t pretty.

A fashion show is an indicator not only of how a particular brand is doing, but the overall industry as well. Looking across all the shows we’ve watched this season, we see an industry desperately trying to attract the attention of the world’s largest buying demographic: Millennials. Styles and fabrics have changed. We’ve seen less leather and a lot less fur as Millennials are more likely to care about animal rights. We’ve seen more natural fibers. These are economic decisions as much as they are artistic. We watch a fashion show and we see how global economics affects our lives.

Fashion Is Culture

More than anything else, what we wear expresses who we are. Ask any cultural anthropologist you happen to come across (they’re out there, somewhere) and they’ll tell you that how any given group of people dressed says a lot about their environment, their economy, their values, their level of innovation, their mythologies, and their lifestyles. Fashion isn’t exactly a new invention, after all. From the moment someone figured out that animal hide was good for keeping a body warm, someone was there figuring out how to best shape those hides and then decorating them for various purposes.

What we see in a fashion show is more than a creative vision of one designer. A fashion show puts our entire culture on display. Take, for example, the gradual move we’ve seen over the past few years toward more sexually androgynous looks. As younger generations grapple with the whole concept of gender and its fluidity, their journey is reflected in the clothes they wear. Androgynous fashion reflects a change in traditional concepts of gender roles and expectations. At the same time, we see more designs that are loose-fitting easy to wear, and more accessible to people as their bodies change. Those looks reflect a change in our overall lifestyle and our attitudes about our bodies.

When I watch a fashion show, I’m not picking out a new wardrobe for Kat or styling future photo shoots. I’m looking for trends that represent sometimes subtle and sometimes significant changes in our culture. These changes are important because if we are to relate to each other at all we have to understand that those coming behind us see life quite differently than those of us who are older. They have different values, different expectations, and different goals, all of which is reflected in what they choose to wear.

Looking To The Future

I will be very happy to not wake up at 2:00 AM Thursday morning. As much as I enjoy fashion weeks, the toll it takes on my body is grueling and it doesn’t help my family relationships much either. Kat says I’m especially grouchy when watching a fashion show. Even the little ones are happy when my schedule is back to normal. Yet, come February, we’ll do it all again.

As the face of fashion is constantly changing and the methods and spectacle of putting on a fashion show continue to morph, I fail to see any point in the near future where a fashion show isn’t important. We need that runway. We need to see the artistry, the economics, and the culture. Fashion is important to all of us, to our world, to our lives.

Why would I want to ever not be a part of something so very important? As long as I can stay awake, we’ll be there. Every season.

Current Issues / PotD

The Value Of A Well Considered Opinion

October 3, 2016

Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance. —Plato

When we think we know it all is when the opinion of someone else may matter most.

“You’re never as smart as you think you are. There is always someone who knows more and understands better than you. Pay attention to those people.”

The words of my late father seem more applicable today than ever. I still remember sitting next to him as he warned me about opening my mouth too soon, a bad habit I’ve had since high school.

“Almost everyone knows at least one thing you don’t,” he warned. “Other people’s opinions may seem foolish and uninformed, but dismissing the well-considered opinions of those who are more experienced, study deeper, and have better access to information only shows your ignorance, not theirs.”

There are days I’m still not sure I’ve adequately learned that lesson. I’m careful about whose opinions I consider. “Consider the source,” is the advice that comes with much of what I read. Of the millions of opinions scattered across the Internet, most leave me skeptical of either their facts or their intentions.

Social media makes it easy to put ourselves in an echo chamber. If we don’t like what someone is saying, we can simply block them, ignoring everything they might have to say. Sometimes that act is necessary in order to avoid constant streams of drivel. When we block someone, though, simply because they have opinions contrary to ours we put our own level of understanding and knowledge at risk. We need the contrasting thought. We need friction against our own opinion.

Knowing Which Opinion To Trust

When one goes to apply for a new job, the prospective employer almost always asks for references. We choose those references based upon the assumption that those people say good things about us when asked. However, have you ever had a reference that wasn’t as positive about your skills as you’d hoped? Maybe you didn’t get the job because someone you trusted mentioned your perpetual habit of being late or not always following through on your promises. Perhaps they even lied.

One of the primary reasons we’ve come to disregard the opinions of others is because too often we find them self-serving, frequently uninformed, and too often void of any truth. The Internet has given everyone a voice, but not every voice needs to be heard on every topic. Does someone sitting in a basement in Queens really understand the political complexities of the ongoing war in Columbia? Can a person who barely managed to graduate high school actually hold a reasonable opinion on the economy?

The answer to both questions is yes, they can. The upside of the Internet is that it allows people to study things and obtain a level of knowledge without having to suffer through traditional means of education. A person who might have nearly flunked out of school because of bad grades in English and History might have a natural affinity for numbers and the nuances of economic theory. The basement dweller has the ability to reach out and talk directly to people on both sides of the equation in Columbia, side-stepping all the political protocols of the State Department. Look below superficial appearances and those opinions we’ve thrown away might actually have merit.

When An Opinion Really Matters

The second challenge of opinions is understanding whose opinion matters when. I could sit here all day and talk about feminism and women’s rights, but the value of my opinion on that topic is limited because I’m not female. I don’t have those experiences that women face on a regular basis, and cannot fully understand what they go through because no one is going to treat me as a female. The same applies to race. I hurt when I see the injustices levied against people of color, but when speaking on the matter my opinion is limited. I might know a lot about a topic, but if I can’t possibly experience what other people experience my opinion loses value.

A well-considered opinion is one that has had those experiences. I respect the opinions of Congressman John Lewis on matters of race because he has been there on the front lines. He felt the spray. He has the scars. Congressman Lewis understands the situation at a level I cannot begin to comprehend. I respect Kat’s opinion on matters of feminism and sexual identity because she has both feet in those arenas right now. She is enduring those experiences and deals with the challenges at a level I can never know for myself. The opinion of someone who has been there is always stronger than that of the person who merely observed.

Equally important, though, are the opinions of those who speak for those who would not be heard. Reporters and advocates for causes and regarding situations where those who endure the experience are not able to speak for themselves. Those who are hungry, homeless, beaten, torn from their homes, left with nothing. Those who go and look, who are hands-on in helping those in need, who immerse themselves in hostile situations, have opinions we need to trust.

Listening To The Chorus

Perhaps most important right now, in this political climate, is listening to the opinions of diverse people who agree on issues even when it does not necessarily serve them well. Climatologists, for example, did not quickly or easily support the concept of global warming. They have an understanding of weather cycles and know that some changes are inevitable. But as more of them take up the cause and warn of the dangers, theirs is a voice we do well to heed.

Perhaps the strongest chorus at the moment is that of newspaper editorial boards regarding the upcoming presidential elections. Most seasons, we expect their endorsements to follow along party lines. Conservative papers endorse the Republican candidate. Liberal papers endorse the Democratic candidate. Independent papers endorse a third party. For as long as I can remember, that has been how endorsements flow. There’s rarely any surprise.

That history does not hold true this season, though. Look at the aggregators and we see headlines like these:

After 148 Years, The San Diego Union-Tribune Endorses A Democrat For President

For The First Time In Its 126-Year History, This Newspaper Endorsed A Democrat

There are dozens of others who have followed suit, newspaper editorial boards who understand the effect of politics on their readers better than anyone. When they all start leaning in the same direction, we need to listen.

We Don’t Know Much

We are fooling ourselves when we think that what we read in our social media newsfeeds constitutes being informed on a subject. Our ignorance runs much deeper than anyone cares to admit. Egos do a great job of making us believe that we’re smart enough, that we don’t need to listen to anyone else’s opinions. We can even find plenty of quotes urging us to ignore the detractors, be our own person, and stand up what we want.

We couldn’t be any more stupid than when we ignore the well-considered opinions of others. Especially right now.

Maybe we should do more than look at headlines as they pass. Perhaps we should give ourselves more time to actually read, and think about what we’re reading.

A well-considered opinion has value that cannot be matched by our own understanding. We would do well to close our own mouths more often and listen.

PotD / Social Commentary

Wake Up, September Is Ending

September 30, 2016

It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning wondering what my intuition will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea. I work with it and rely on it. It’s my partner. —Jonas Salk

charles i. letbetter - wake up, september is here

The end of September signals a time to wake up and realize the year is nearly gone

I hate that stupid Greenday song. Curse Billie Joe Armstrong for having written it. Curse the stupid video which is entirely too long and much too depressing. Of course, I have both the song and images from the video stuck in my head whether I want them there or not. They’re driving me nuts.

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? How does this song help me in any way other than as a reminder that, oh yeah, we’re about to enter the fourth quarter so any goals we had set for the year we either complete now or pretend we never brought them up. Here it is the end of September. Before we know it the snow will be flying. There are things we need to get done.

There Goes The Neighborhood

Looks like the whole planet may be ending its September phase. The news that the atmosphere has surpassed carbon levels of 400 ppm (that’s parts per million for those of you who slept through science class) definitely puts us in that range of being glad I need to pay my AARP dues. While the number really is more symbolic than anything, it is a wake up call that we might want to start looking for alternative places for our grandchildren or great-grandchildren to live. They certainly won’t be hanging out on this planet in a couple hundred years or less.

SpaceX and Tesla CEO and probably the closest thing we have to a real-life Tony Stark, Elon Musk, seems to think colonizing Mars is our best bet. On one hand, I would like to think that if anyone can actually pull off that project it would be Stark, er … Musk. At the same time, though, the difficulty he has had with some of SpaceX’s rockets recently, especially that one mysteriously blowing up on the launchpad, give me a moment’s pause. With all due respect, I don’t want to be heading to a new home and end up having elementary schools named after me. I’m not that hero.

We need to figure out something, though. September is typically the lowest month for atmospheric carbon dioxide. The situation gets worse from here. I know I wouldn’t plan on buying any beachfront property anytime soon unless you’re looking at, oh, maybe Middle Tennessee. Maybe Dollywood can add a beach resort in a few years. That would be fun, wouldn’t it? Yeah, let’s run with that idea.

Arnold Palmer Died, So Did Golf

Actually, the game was on life support before the legendary golfer hit the eternal 19th hole this week. I’ve never been a huge fan of the game largely because I’m not any good at playing it and also because it is one of the most stupid sports to ever be televised. Watching maple sap dripping from a tree trunk would be more exciting and at the end you could make syrup. The Scots were cursing us when they invented golf. That’s the only reasonable explanation.

Major equipment providers are ditching the sport, though, because it’s not “connecting” with Millennials. Rounds of golf played are down. Attendance at tournaments is down. There’s no money to be made there anymore, at least, not like there was when Boomers discovered the sport some 40 years ago. Arnold Palmer was a big part of the golf explosion of the 70s. As he sits down at that eternal watering hole for a round of his favorite drink (lemonade and ice tea carefully prepared and mixed), he’s joined by an entire generation that once thought golf was really cool. They’re all dead now. No one living gives a fuck about the sport.

The question facing club owners now is what to do with all that land full of sand and random holes once no one is interested in wasting whole days standing out there either getting sunburned or avoiding lightening. Might this not only spell the end of golf, but the end of those pretentious members-only clubs that have long been bastions of racism, elitism, and bigotry? More than we could do without the sport, we definitely wouldn’t miss the dismissive attitude. There was a rainbow over Palmer’s home town after his funeral. Maybe that’s a sign.

Good-bye Wonder Woman Fantasies

You know the world has changed when you wake up one morning and find that Wonder Women is definitely queer. Actually, she’s just not that into the entire male gender because they don’t exist in her home of Themyscira. Lead writer for the series, Greg Rucka, confirmed as much in an interview this week. He explains it this way:

It’s supposed to be paradise. You’re supposed to be able to live happily. You’re supposed to be able — in a context where one can live happily, and part of what an individual needs for that happiness is to have a partner — to have a fulfilling, romantic and sexual relationship. And the only options are women. … But an Amazon doesn’t look at another Amazon and say, ‘You’re gay.’ They don’t. The concept doesn’t exist.

Of course, we know plenty of women who wouldn’t mind if the concept of men didn’t exist. That’s another wake up call we should probably answer at some point. We have also known for sometime, in the back of our minds, that there was no way Wonder Woman could really be that into guys. To come from Themyscira to the US would have to be rather like being condemned to a hell full of mysoginistic, sexist assholes. Our brains know that but our groins haven’t wanted to admit it. Time to wake up from the fantasy, boys. None of this world’s Wonder Women are looking for anyone with a penis. Get used to it.

Time To Move On

The end of September is a sign that we have got to move on, dude. Summer’s frivolities are nice, but they don’t last forever. They shouldn’t last forever. We need to wake up and get some shit done. We both know we need to drop a few pounds before the holiday food binge starts. Don’t tell yourself any more lies, the pumpkin spice cravings are just the first warning sign. Hit the gym now so you can enjoy the guilty pleasures later.

Oh, and if you’re not dating anyone, now’s the time to fix that problem. You know your mom is going to be so very disappointed if you show up at another Thanksgiving with your lame roomate in tow. He burps too loud and his fart jokes aren’t funny. Wake up, download a half-dozen dating apps and get busy. You know you’ll dump whomever by Valentine’s Day anyway. Is it so bad that you take a few months to make your mother happy?

Someone needs to write a new song about September. Eleven years and I am so very sick of this one. Wake up. Let’s get going. We can still turn this year into a win. Maybe. At least save it from being a complete disaster. Not voting Republican helps. Eyes open? Here we go.

Photography / PotD

The Photography Business Just Changed

September 28, 2016

There’s not a single business model, and there’s not a single type of electronic content. There are really a lot of opportunities and a lot of options and we just have to discover all of them. —Tim O’Reilly

charles i. letebtter - PHotography has a new business model

All it took was one new website to totally change the business model for photography. The bar has been set.

You’re going to want to bookmark this website: miramira.tv . Photographer Mario Testino, a favorite of Vogue US, launched the new site this week after sponsoring a 48-hour hackathon asking students: “What could the next frontier of visual communications look like?” They told him, and the results are probably not what you’re doing now, but are almost certainly where we all need to go. Fashion website/magazine Business of Fashion featured Mario and the new website in a top-line article this morning. Testino tells them early on:

“The kids don’t have 35 years of experience, but they have hundreds of years of knowledge through access. The mix of that is quite magical. In a way, I’m looking for new ideas, new ways of seeing things, new ways of solving a challenge.”

What he’s saying isn’t that different from how many of us feel. We’re all looking for new ideas, new ways of seeing things. That’s just part of being a photographer. Unlike the rest of us, though, Testino took some serious steps for force a change in his vision: he relied on eyes that are not his and trusted what they saw. The end result of his effort affects us all, though, whether he intended that to happen or not, whether we like it or not.

Testino has hit on something that requires a change in how we do business. Not that we copy exactly what he’s doing, but consider the structure behind the effort.

Open Up Your Archives

Who among us doesn’t have tons of pictures sitting around that no one has ever seen? Both of the photos above fall into that category. We took the pictures for an event that never happened. They’ve been sitting in my archives, untouched, since 2009. Testino’s model is to worry less about copyright infringement and more about making sure the pictures are seen; all the pictures. Granted, his archives are filled with pictures of supermodels like Kate Moss. Not everyone is going to offer that kind of appeal in their archives. Still, the point is to get the pictures out there. Curate yourself in a bolder, more dynamic way.

Manage Your Social Media

We all have social media accounts sitting all over the place. I don’t know about you, but I have multiple accounts that I can’t even remember. A new website comes along, looks good up front, then goes nowhere. Even on the ones that do have staying power, though, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, our efforts tend to be disjointed, haphazard, and almost accidental. One of the critical aspects of the new website is that it serves as a landing place for all Mario’s social media posts. If he puts a picture on Instagram, it points back to the website. If he puts a video on Facebook, it points back to the website. Everything is coordinated so that social media followers don’t just see one picture and move on. They click and see more.

Organize Photos By The Stories They Tell

We have projects, we have themes, and we have those shoots that are just out there. Traditionally, we would organize them into portfolios according to genre: fashion, editorial, portrait, wedding, babies, etc. That’s the way mine are organized now. Testino hits on a key change in how people view photos online, however. They look for stories, not genres. They want to see a series that has a beginning, middle, and end. Maybe they’re all from the same shoot. Maybe they’re not. What matters is that when someone looks at them, they see a story line that is recognizable. Save the portfolio approach for lookbooks, whose usefulness is limited. Mario makes a good point here:

“Today, I feel that the books are limited because you can only reach a certain amount of people. Whereas online, you can reach 2 million people in one go. There’s something about sharing that I find very interesting, and very of today. So it makes sense to put it online.”

Develop Relationships

Photographers know they’re supposed to do this, but, as a group, we’re lousy at doing it. We tend to develop relationships based on what they can do for us, not whether we can help each other. Part of what fuels the depth of content coming to this new website are Mario’s relationships with people; not just models, but his assistants, makeup artists, stylists, tour guides, etc. He puts their stories on this new website. He highlights people other than himself. The concept makes perfect sense when one thinks about it. What’s missing for many of us, though, is that concerted effort to create and maintain relationships. I’m horrible at it. That needs to change.

Work In Different Media

On the new website, one not only finds the incredible photographs for which Mario is famous, one finds videos, and podcasts, and stories. Testino isn’t afraid of new and developing media. Instead, he’s mastering it and using it to his advantage. I’ll admit to being frightened by this one. Back when Canon and Nikon first started adding video capability to their DSLRs, I argued that there is a world of difference between video and still photography. There is. But if we stay focused on a singular media the world is going to pass us by. So, maybe we need to take a class or hire a twenty-something kid to show us how it’s done. Staying focused on only still images no longer makes good business sense.

Travel

Yeah, it may cost you a bit, but it needs to happen. Get out of the studio, explore different cultures and environments, meet different people, photograph something that isn’t your own backyard. That doesn’t necessarily mean one has to travel far or expensively. Consider volunteering for a charitable activity that takes you someplace different and take pictures while you’re there. Maybe you explore small towns in your own state. There are many ways to twist this. We don’t all need to winter in Abu Dabi. One trick here is to figure out how to get clients to pay for your travel. Don’t ask me, I don’t know. I am certain it can be done, though.

Get Help

No, I’m not necessarily talking about psychiatric help, though I’m guessing almost all of us could use some. One of the first things I picked up from the BoF article is that Testino has a CEO, and it’s not him. Suki Larson is the chief executive of Mario Testino+. Mario Testino+ is the business side of everything the photographer does. This is where things are kept organized. There are people who schedule travel, organize photos, manage social media, plus his two photo assistants and others. All this business elements are handled by people who are not the photographer. Sure, most of us don’t have the budgets to hire that many people; maybe not anyone at all. Still, we need to find people who can help us. Perhaps we have to do some creative bartering at first, but photographers are notoriously lousy at business. Maybe we need to let go of that side and find someone who knows what a P&L is and why it’s important.

Position Yourself For The Future

Photographers notoriously look backward and long for the way it used to be. They were doing it 30 years ago and we’re still doing that now. Stop it. Stop yearning for the days of film. Quit looking at old business models that failed 20 years ago. Instead, now is the time to be exploring things like virtual reality and 3D imagery. No, we’re not there yet on either front, but they are coming in one form or another. Being able to adapt to those new media quickly will keep you at the front of your field. Don’t be afraid. Look ahead.

Keep Doing Stuff

Not everything is going to work for you. Mario is a rare kind of photographer who has a knack for seeing a niche and making it his own. We can’t all be Mario Testino. What we see in his business model, though, is that we have to keep doing stuff. We have to keep taking pictures. We have to keep trying new things in new places with new people. There is no room for us to sit back and bemoan the fact that no one is knocking on your studio door. Keep moving. Explore what is beyond you. I like what Mario says at the end of the BoF article:

“It’s the doing that makes you get better. Everything has changed, I think I should already be over in a way. I think there is something to be said about staying open to everything and anything. Curiosity is the biggest gift that you have.”

Testino has set an extremely high bar and not many of us are going to reach it. One thing is for sure, though, and that’s the fact that the photography business has already changed around us. We will either adapt, or we will fail.

Current Issues / pop culture / PotD

Excessive Media Erodes Our Trust

September 27, 2016

There’s a danger in the internet and social media. The notion that information is enough, that more and more information is enough, that you don’t have to think, you just have to get more information – gets very dangerous. —Edward de Bono

If you don’t trust media it might be because you’re using too much of it.

CAUTION: YOU ARE CONSUMING MEDIA. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

We changed brands of dog food this morning. We felt the dog wasn’t getting enough from his previous brand, so we did a little bit of research and switched. This morning, I didn’t feel we’d done enough research. The dog normally comes in from our morning walk, eats a little, then falls fast asleep because 4:00 AM is early even for a dog. Except this morning, after inhaling the new food, he didn’t go to sleep. He’s been bouncing around all over the place, terrifying the cats, and getting himself into trouble. So, I hit the brand’s website to double-check the ingredients. I needed specific information and found it on the brand’s website. That makes the dog food company a media provider.

A number of my friends in journalism were sharing this article from the Washington Post decrying how that there really is no such thing as “the media” and, if there is, WaPo certainly isn’t part of it. The argument author Paul Farhi attempts to make is that the term “the media” is too broad to be defining. If one defines “the media” according to the constraints given by The Oxford Dictionary, then practically everything around you is, technically “the media.” Here’s the definition:

(the media)

the main means of mass communication (broadcasting, publishing, and the Internet), regarded collectively

See the problem? If “the media” is the vehicle for all communication, all communication is “the media.”

Not Your Grandfather’s Newspaper

When I first woke up this morning, I knew that the headlines would be dominated by spin on last night’s presidential debate. Among the myriad of headlines was this one: The Media Calls Debate For Clinton. I’d link you to the article, but it has since been removed (apparently an editor woke up). My point is that the article was a case of one information source blamed another information source for communicating information. Seems rather silly, doesn’t it?

When one puts something on the Internet, whether it’s a Facebook status or a tweet or your grandmother’s cookie recipe, there is one underlying purpose: to communicate. When one puts something on the Internet, one is engaging in the digital form of publishing. That makes you part of “the media” and a consumer of media at the same time. Therefore, taking this circular logic all the way around, when one criticizes “the media” online, they are ultimately criticizing themselves.

Yeah, stop and let that sink in for a moment. Hurts the brain a little, doesn’t it?

Believe it or not, all these media sources are less than 100 years old. Only newspapers and printed leaflets existed in 1916. Even the first talking movie, The Jazz Singer, was over a decade away. With so few choices for information, trust in those sources ran high. Chances are, in most areas, your grandparents or great-grandparents knew who published the local newspaper. They probably went to the same church, were members of the same civic groups. Few people would have thought of publishing their own paper or printing their own leaflets. Information needed to be important if it was going to be distributed.

Contrast that to current standards where “if you think it then you must tweet it,” or something like that.

What We Say

Gallup released a poll earlier this month with the headline: American’s Trust In Mass Media Sinks To New Low. Here’s the actual question and how the long-term graph looks:

Notice that Gallup attempts some nebulous framing of the question by adding the qualifier “mass” to “media,” so as to restrict opinions to what might once have been regarded as “legitimate” news sources—the ones your grandparents would have trusted. Given the overwhelming number of “news” sites, especially when one includes aggregators such as Huffington Post and Breitbart, Gallup’s question is still too broad to have any real, definitive meaning. If the survey tells us anything, and that point would certainly be arguable, it is that we only trust a limited number of the information sources we access.

Similarly, Hart Research, acting on behalf of NBC News and The Wall Street Journal, asked half the respondents of a 1,000-person survey to “rate your feelings” toward “several public figures, groups, and organizations.” In the total list, “the news media” ranked toward the bottom with only a 19% positive response, between Donald Trump (28% positive response) and Vladimir Putin (6% positive response). However, once again, the lack of a narrow definition calls the results into question. Some people might consider satire sights such as The Onion part of the news media. Others might consider aggregators part of the news media. Neither is there any delineation between sources that provide a majority of reporter-based editorial content and those that are merely an omnibus of collected opinion.

What We Mean

What is generally considered “news” in this Internet-driven age is a far cry from the traditional expectations of journalism. There are millions of websites that distribute information related to current topics. For many people, that makes those sources “news.” Never mind the fact that they’re opinions we’ve written ourselves, largely to amuse ourselves. By the broad contemporary definition, this website might, at least on some days, considered a news source. That scares me because, despite the sometimes excessive amount of research we put into an article, it is never our intent to provide anything more than an opinion.

Perhaps even more frightening is how frequently people refer to social media, specifically Facebook and Twitter, as part of the news media. Neither site has reporters or editors controlling what you see or don’t see. All the information flowing through those sites is curated by one person: you. You decide what is “news” and what is “information” and what is “entertainment.” What’s telling is that a very large number of people make absolutely no distinction between those categories. They simply toss everything under the general heading of “the media.”

And they don’t trust it. Which, again, using that circular logic, means we don’t trust ourselves. We probably shouldn’t. We don’t know what we’re doing. We’ve proven that we’re not terribly judicious in the media we consume. If we were, debunking sites like Snopes wouldn’t get nearly as much traffic. On any given day, we publish more false information through our own social media accounts than all the newspapers and news networks combined. We distrust “the media” because we know, secretly, that we are complicit in spreading rumor more than fact.

A Difficult Diet

Like a person whose health deteriorates from eating only fast food, the solution to our media loathing starts with a very harsh reality: we need to cut back. Continuing the fast food metaphor, we need to pay more attention to the source of what we’re consuming. Sure, there are days when ordering pizza makes sense for our schedule, but that doesn’t happen every day. Most days we’re more conscientious about what we consume. The same is true of media. Some days I need the smile I get from a video on Funny Or Die. Making that my source for breaking news and information, though, is just silly. I’m going to check my local paper, then local television news, then national news sources if applicable. I’m damn sure not going to rely on Facebook or Twitter.

We have a preponderance of choice. Media surrounds us already and as the Internet of Things grows the amount of media being thrown at us is going to get worse. We need to start making those tough choices now. Back off the Buzzfeeds and TMZs, limiting them to inconsequential topics that we probably shouldn’t care about in the first place. Pay more attention to the source of our information. Hint: anytime you see an article tagged as “sponsored,” know that it was written by someone, or on behalf of someone, who has a vested financial interest in the topic. Therefore, it’s not news. Recognise opinion for what it is: someone else’s viewpoint, not news.

If we don’t trust media it’s because both the media we create and our choice of media to consume are not trustworthy. The problem is us. We’ve gotten fat on easily available, always accessible media. Saying we distrust “the media” is like saying we don’t like mac & cheese while a fresh bowl sits in front of us. We need to put ourselves on a media diet and see just how much our opinions change.

Current Issues / PotD

Hello, Human. Today You Get To Die

September 26, 2016

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. —Mark Twain

charles i. letbetter - hello, today you get to die

We rarely get to choose when we die. If your day was today, would you be ready?

Looking at the headlines this morning was a bit depressing. Golfing great Arnold Palmer died at age 87. Miami Marlin’s ace pitcher Jose Fernandez was killed in a boating accident. Mylan Hicks, currently a defensive back in the Canadian Football League and formerly of the San Francisco 49ers, was killed in a Calgary nightclub shooting. While I had no personal connection with any of them, I certainly respect their accomplishments and the impact their deaths have on their respective sports. We’ve mentioned multiple times that this is being a lousy year, but the past couple of weeks have been especially brutal it seems. Two friends have lost their fathers in the past two weeks. Other friends have lost childhood playmates way too early in their lives.

Death surrounds us all the time. We are subconsciously aware of that fact, but there are times when it seems to get too close for comfort. When we see so many die around us we start to feel uncomfortable. Dealing with the reality of our own mortality is not easy. No one really wants to die, especially not right now. Yet, there are so many ways in which death can sneak up and take us unexpectedly.

China lost control of a space station and it could crash into a US city. Imagine driving to work one morning and a chunk of space station falls out of the clear blue sky and you die. This is the reality in which we now live.

Mitigating The Risk

Before walking the dog each morning, I’m careful to check the weather. Regardless of what the forecast might have said the night before, weather has a nasty habit of changing. This morning, there were storms in the area. Lightning struck less than a mile away. So, we watched radar and timed our walk to minimize the risk of getting fried on the sidewalk. That wouldn’t be a good way to start the morning.

We know the potential for dying is out there. We all have those preventative actions we take to mitigate the risk that we might die on any given day. Eating veggies is one of those things we know pushes death out a little bit. Same goes for driving safely and crossing the street at the crosswalk with the light. Most people try to not do stupid things that have a high-risk factor for ending up dead. Even when doing something silly like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, we take the precaution of using a reasonably good parachute packed by someone we trust.

Yet, no matter how many precautions we might take, death sometimes has a way of finding us at the least expected and most inconvenient moments. Be sure, Jose Fernandez didn’t think the risks were too great when he got on that boat. None of us see all the risks. No matter what we do, sometimes death just shows up and says, “Hey, you’re coming with me now.” We don’t get any choice in the matter.

Being Ready To Die

If all the recent deaths around me have done anything, they have reminded me that I need to go ahead and get some kind of burial insurance. Sounds morbid, doesn’t it? Yet, all of my experience tells me it’s a smart move. My parents had burial insurance. They bought it when they were in their 30s. They were able to pre-pay for their funerals, including the caskets, so that when that time inevitably came for them my brother and I didn’t have to worry about the cost or wondering what they might have wanted. That act alone was one of the kindest things they ever did. When you have a parent die, the details of paying for and planning a funeral are not where you want to spend your time.

There’s something about actually making such a purchase, though, that feels uncomfortable, as though we’re tempting fate. In my mind, I know that my parents lived another 40 years after pre-paying for their arrangements. Yet, there’s this nagging feeling that if I take the same precaution it’s like thumbing my nose at death, taunting it to come and get me. The same applies to life insurance. Both make the lives of our families so much easier, especially if our death is unexpected. Still, there’s no getting around that icky feeling that if you make that purchase you’re tempting fate.

Being ready to die is as much an attitude as anything, though. We have to be comfortable with death, okay with the concept of no longer existing in this world. I no longer think that we need to know what happens next. If we were meant to know the universe would provide a reliable, believable way of telling us. It hasn’t. We’ve made up our own myths over the millions of years, but when we get down to it, we have to be okay with just going. Period. Let whatever comes next, if anything, take care of itself.

Remembering to Live

Like the Mark Twain quote at the top of this page, being satisfied with our life makes it easier to be okay with the inevitability of death. No one should obsess over their own death; it’s not only unhealthy, it prevents one from making the most of life. I’m not talking about being happy, mind you. Happiness is a temporal state and in that moment when some jackass cuts you off in traffic “happy” isn’t exactly the emotion one feels at the time. Rather, contentedness is more what I’m going for; that sense that my life isn’t perfect and I’m okay with that.

Are we content? I’m not, not really. There are still things I want to be doing, not bucket list things like winning a Pulitzer and such, but everyday things such as finding the next great supermodel and teaching my youngest son to drive and regaining some fluency in French and Italian. I have in my mind a level of activity that I’ve let slip. Having been there once, I know it can be achieved. I let go, though. I want that contentedness back.

What about you? If a chunk of that Chinese space station were to fall on you today (don’t worry, it won’t … yet) you’d certainly be disappointed that you didn’t have more warning, but would you be content with where your life is right now? What would it take to get you to that point in your life?

I fully expect to live long enough to be a pain in the ass to my grandchildren, assuming at least one of my sons gets around to providing some. I’m not expecting to die.

But then, not many people ever are. Perhaps we all need to do better prep work. Try to not die today, okay? I think our quota is full for the rest of the year.

Current Issues / PotD / science

10 Horrible Deaths Awaiting Offspring Of Anti-Vaxxers

September 25, 2016

charles i. letbetter - 10 horrible deaths awaiting children of anti-vaxxers

No cause justifies the deaths of innocent people. —Albert Camus

10 Horrible Deaths Await Offspring of Anti-Vazzers

Those who fail to vaccinate their children sentence the innocent to the most horrible of deaths for which there is no justification

We do not enter this conversation lightly. My words may well anger some. I don’t expect to persuade those who are already committed, but to those who are still questioning, who have not yet made up their minds, heed my words: Those who do not vaccinate their children hold the blood of the deaths of innocents on their hands. Not only is refusing to vaccinate children one of the most stupid and ill-conceived acts of selfishness ever devised, it is morally criminal for it effects not those making the decision, but those innocents doomed to endure the results.

I have not wanted to tackle this issue as it is off topic for our normal discussions. I realized, however, that I needed to get my hands dirty, metaphorically speaking, and address the matter when I snapped at Kat while she was reading aloud an especially ridiculous comment from someone so horribly ignorant, so fully deceived by all the lies and nonsense, that they didn’t even recognize the basic science of germ theory. Granted, it was still early in the morning and I only had three cups of coffee in me, but the level of nonsense being spewed by this person in a public forum was so intense my temper got the best of me. I barked at Kat to stop reading to me anything written by someone who has ceded use of their brain.

If a topic has gotten under my skin to the point that I’m being unkind to someone I love, then obviously I need to address that matter head-on and be done with it.

All Natural Was A Good Idea

“All natural.” The phrase started becoming dominant in the popular lexicon of the 1960s, when the anti-establishment movement started considering the possibility that everything we were ingesting, wearing, breathing, and eating might not be working in our favor. Back then, there was practically no regulation on the use of chemicals in the creation and development of other products. Neither was anyone watching what was being dumped into waterways. Only when the pollution began to accumulate to a point that it began directly interfering with our lives did Government intervene and pass laws limiting and prohibiting certain chemicals.

The movement was necessary and helped save the lives of millions of people. However, what is important to realize is that the “all natural” proponents of the time used science to make their point. They didn’t rely on conjecture, hearsay, or popular mythology in an attempt to make their point. Studies were done. Samples were taken. Scientific method was used to prove things such as the dangerous levels of lead and mercury in water and other products.

The “all natural” movement today has evolved into an anti-science, anti-medicine group that mistakenly thinks that nature has the solution to everything that sickens us. They are convinced that the more we become holistic and natural in our approach to life, the better our lives will be. So, they decry genetically modified organisms, refuse to drink municipal treated water, and deny their children the safety of vaccines.

Nature Doesn’t Like Us

As it turns out, nature doesn’t like us as much as we like it. Raw milk, the non-pasteurised, non-homogenized stuff that comes directly from a cow’s udder, contains bacteria that, prior to 1864, wiped out entire tribes and cities. The same applies to less natural drinks such as beer and wine. All that alcohol actually gives bacteria a nice resting place rather than destroying it. The all-natural stuff rather sucks.

Many other food sources have similar challenges. Has anyone noticed all the recalls of organically grown leafy vegetables? Ta-da! They need some science in order to survive the process of being packaged, shipped, refrigerated, not refrigerated, and the ride home from the store. Otherwise, they develop nasty things that can KILL YOU if you ingest them. Seriously, all-natural isn’t what it’s cracked up to be!

Jeffrey Kruger, science writer for TIME magazine, wrote in an opinion piece in 2014:

“Messing with nature” is the whole point of medicine, given that it’s nature that cooked up every disease that ever existed. You want pure nature? OK, die young.

As brusque as the statement is, we have the longest life span in over 3,000 years because of science and medicine. Nature will kill you.

No One Wants To Keep You Sick

I’ve heard all the “big pharma” horseshit and I’m not buying it. No one’s best interest is served by intentionally keeping people sick. If we would take a moment to understand how numbers work, we’d see the mathematical fallacy in such a concept. There is no conspiracy. No one is trying to “keep you down.”

Instead, just a few days ago, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife DoctorPriscilla Chan (a pediatrician who had her own daughter vaccinated), pledged $3 billion to the eradication of all disease. In explaining the reasoning behind the commitment, Dr. Chan stated:

We are the limit of what we understand about science and disease. We want to push back that boundary. By investing in science today, we hope to build a future in which all of our children can live long and rewarding lives.

Funny, that doesn’t sound much like a conspiracy to keep everyone sick, does it? Oh, and while we’re at it, please don’t miss the fact that the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has already spent over $2 billion fighting malaria and have committed another $1.6 billion to fight the spread of AIDS.

Wait, we’re not done. Viacom/CBS CEO and an all-around frequently unlikable guy, Sumner Redstone, donated $1.5 million to help eradicate polio, a disease that would have been gone already if everyone would vaccinate their children. So, let’s just put to rest that ridiculously insane notion that “big pharma” wants to do you harm.

Science Is Your Friend

I fail to understand this unreasonable concept that science and nature are at odds with each other. Science looks at nature, discovers what’s under the covers, how it works, why things respond well to certain stimuli and not others, not because it keeps them out of the bars and brothels (which are already full of politicians and lobbyist) but because doing so helps us to get along better with nature and use nature to our benefit.

For example, it is science that tells us we really need bees for something other than honey. Many of the very vaccinations and cures against which the ignorant rail have their source in a better understanding of nature. Nature is a partner in better health when we pair it with well-studied matters of science. We can all get along.

When we refuse to do so, when people start believing a ridiculous 12-person study that has been thoroughly debunked by the very doctors who participated as well as multiple independent studies then we have a problem. Vaccinations do not cause autism and I can quite comfortably sit here and say without any bad feeling that those who claim otherwise are utter morons and a danger to society.

Yes, some people have allergies to certain medicines. Kat is allergic to penicillin, which is a damned pain when she gets sick, but you don’t find her campaigning against the medicine. I’m deathly allergic to bee stings, too, but you don’t see me out spraying the yard to kill the little buggers.

Anti-Vaxxers Are Vile People

Those who refuse to vaccinate their children are vile people because they are not the ones who ultimately suffer the consequences. Rather, they doom innocent children, theirs and others with whom they come into contact, with the possibility that they could die quite horribly from diseases that are totally preventable. This is not a judgment call. This has nothing to do with race, social standing, educational level obtained, levels of pseudo-fame, religion, national origin, gender, sexuality, or anything else over which one has no control. People who fail to vaccinate their children are making a deliberate choice to put their children at risk.

We have laws that require putting children in specialized safety seats when traveling in vehicles. We have laws about the non-flammability of children’s clothing. There are even laws about how old a child has to be before they can stand at the bus stop by themselves. Our society values our children, yet we are, for reasons I cannot begin to comprehend, tolerating these utter morons who not only put their children at risk, but yours and mine as well because they believe some garbage about vaccines causing autism or some other shit.

No, these people are dooming children to DIE just as surely as did the Nazis who stripped Jewish children naked and marched them to the showers. If anything, the risk at which anti-vaxxers are putting their children is worse because these diseases, against which they should be immunized, may not strike until they’re older. Or they might even be passed on to a subsequent generation that would be born with a fatal disease. Death from these diseases is not quick, but lingers, putting a child through unspeakable pain.

Let’s Get Real About The Danger

There are ten major diseases that can doom a child to a horrible death; diseases that are wholly preventable with vaccinations. This is the risk imposed upon your children. Sure, there’s a chance your child could grow up just fine without any medical issues. There’s also a chance that a two-year-old can make it across a busy four-lane highway without getting hit, but do we really want to take that chance? These are our children we’re talking about!

Here, let’s take a look at just what can happen without the vaccinations that can stop disease.

Measles

Measles, interestingly enough, is a lung disease. If someone who has it, even if they’ve not yet developed a rash, coughs or sneezes in your vicinity and you’re not immunized, there’s a 90 percent chance you’ll catch the disease. Or maybe you weren’t there at all. You thought you were being careful. Walking into the room, though, where that person coughed or sneezed, you touch something on which the saliva from that cough or sneeze landed less than two hours ago, and you’ve caught the disease. Measles is just that easy to catch.

Before these idiotic anti-vaxxers became a problem, measles was all but eradicated. It was extremely rare to hear of a case in the US. Why? BECAUSE PEOPLE HAD THEIR KIDS VACCINATED. Are you understanding this? Prior to the anti-vaxx movement, measles was GONE from the United States! Stupid people brought it back, though, and that’s a danger. Prior to the vaccine, approximately 3-4 million people got the disease each year. 48,000 were hospitalized. 400-500 DIED.

The numbers outside the US, however, where the measles vaccine isn’t available, get really ugly really fast. According to numbers released by the World Health Organization, the number of deaths on the continent of Africa in 2012 was 41,000. Within the Eastern Mediterranean, 25,800. Southeast Asia was hit with 52,000 measles deaths. While the numbers here have yet to exceed a hundred, consider the fact that in the year 2000 there were ZERO deaths from Measles in the US. The fact that we have ANY now is directly attributable to the carelessness and selfishness of anti-vaxxers and the people dying ARE CHILDREN. Feel good about that, do you? Do you kick puppies, too?

Whooping Cough (Pertussis)

This one sneaks up on you. Another lung disease spread by being near someone who has the disease, the cough is the primary symptom. We all cough. Coughing is our body’s way of getting bad things out of our lungs. Perfectly healthy people cough. That’s why we don’t pay too much attention when someone starts coughing, even if it’s a baby. But then, the cough continues. Normal remedies don’t make it go away. Two weeks later the cough is still there and it is much worse. The hacking is so bad and so violent that it has caused people to break ribs. As it continues, the cough causes seizures, interrupts one’s ability to breathe.

Even at this point, the dangers for adults are not too severe, unless you have asthma. For infants less than a year old the danger is very real, though. Babies lack the ability to get their breath back on their own. They cough. They choke. They stop breathing. THEY DIE.

Whooping cough is perhaps the greatest threat to mortality among infants. Even with the vaccine, there were still a handful of deaths every year. Most of those were because parents didn’t realize their child has something more than a normal cough until it was too late. Incidents of Whooping Cough have increased, however. In 2014, there were 20 pertussis-related deaths in the US, the most since 1955. While the number may not sound large, consider that there haven’t been that many deaths since 1955! That’s 60 years ago! Anti-vaxxers are KILLING babies.

Flu

Flu numbers are scary even with the ever-changing immunizations. Some years, supplies of the vaccine run low or isn’t as accurate and we immediately see a spike in the number of flu-related deaths. Without the vaccine at all, though, those numbers would be significantly higher.

The flu is a viral infection of the nose, throat, and lungs. Once again, being around someone who has the disease and coughs is what spreads the germs. As the flu morphs and changes each year, our body’s natural immune system has difficulty keeping up. If it were the same ol’ flu every year, it might not be a problem. But it’s not. Every year, some 49,000 people in the US die from the flu. The very old and the very young are hardest hit. That’s with vaccinations.

What happens if no one takes the vaccination? By one estimate, an H5N1 avian influenza could affect 80 million people in the US. Assuming a 20 percent mortality rate, 16 million people would die. Stop and think about that for a moment. Sixteen million people. More than just a health crisis, this would be a homeland security crisis, an economic crisis. Not only would people in your family die, everyone around you would have someone in their family die. Are you beginning to see the problem?

Polio

THIS DISEASE SHOULD BE GONE ALREADY! This is the disease that proved vaccines work. Throughout the early part of the 20th century, polio was the scourge of the United States. In the summer of 1916, it took the lives of 2,700 children in New York alone. An interesting thing happened, though. The vaccine developed by Dr. Jonas Salk was approved in 1955 and you’ll never believe what happened: THE DISEASE WENT AWAY! Are you understanding the relevance here? People who got the polio vaccine DID NOT GET POLIO!

Not only did the polio vaccine work, it worked quickly. By the year 2000, all of North America was polio free! NO ONE IN NORTH AMERICA HAD POLIO! Then, along came anti-vaxxers who refused to give their children one of the most vital immunizations in human history. Care to guess what happened? POLIO IS BACK. Sure, the numbers aren’t big, yet, but the fact that a disease that had been eradicated from the entire continent has returned is reason enough for alarm.

Understand, you can get polio at any time in your life. 90% of people carrying the disease show no symptoms. While the disease can be stopped with the vaccine, once you get it, there is no cure! YOU WILL DIE and not nearly as quickly as you would like. There will be pain. There will be suffering. The World Health Organization considers a single case of polio an epidemic, it is just that frightening. Almost everyone reading this is too young to remember scenes like this:

10 horrible deaths awaiting children of anti-vaxxers

In the 1940s and 1950s, people with bulbar polio were immobilized inside “iron lungs” – huge metal cylinders that operated like a pair of bellows to regulate their breathing and keep them alive.

So yeah, skip this vaccine and you’re dooming your child to, at the least, a very miserable life, and in the end one of the most painful deaths ever. Happy now?

Pneumococcal Disease

The doctor tells you that you have pneumonia. Not a big deal, right? Stay home, drink plenty of fluids, maybe take a few doses of penicillin. Unless you don’t take the medicine and haven’t been vaccinated. With pneumococcal disease, pneumonia might be the least of your worries. Only 5 out of 100 die of pneumococcal pneumonia. The same bacteria, however, causes Bacteremia, a blood disease that is especially fatal in children under age 5. 1 out of 100 children who contract pneumococcal bacteremia die from the disease.

Then, there’s meningitis. I should mention that we’re going to see meningitis pop up more than once because there is more than one bacteria that can cause the disease. Pneumococcal meningitis kills 1 in 15 children under the age of 5. ONE IN FIFTEEN CHILDREN DIE. Even those who don’t die are likely to have life-long limitations such as hearing loss and learning disabilities. The mortality numbers run even higher among the elderly. That’s right, your vaccination decision can kill your great-grandmother.

Isn’t it wonderful to give a breeding ground to a bacteria that has THREE DIFFERENT WAYS TO KILL PEOPLE? There are vaccines available that can kill the pneumococcal bacteria quickly and easily. There’s no need for ANY child to ever suffer through this kind of death, with high fever, pain, and stiffness. Yet, when parents refuse to have their children vaccinated, this is yet another easily contracted way for children to die. None of this is necessary. All of it can be prevented. Unfortunately, anti-vaxxers are TOO FUCKING STUPID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT.

Tetanus

When I was a child, perhaps one of the most frequently ignored dangers in our region of Oklahoma was rusty barbed wire. The stuff was everywhere and was we would be running and playing and crawling through fences, getting a scratch and tearing our clothes was inevitable. Most the time, the biggest danger was Mom finding out you’d torn another pair of jeans. Every once in a while, though, someone would get a really bad cut on the barbed wire, or step on a rusty nail in an old barn. Our parents never hesitated a second. Off to the hospital we’d go for a tetanus shot, unless we’d just had one, in which case we were still good.

Tetanus shots today are good for ten years. I remember my last one clearly, just over three years ago. Yes, those suckers hurt a bit. This is not a fun shot to get. Yet, the vaccine is infinitely better than the symptoms that come with tetanus. Get a load of this:

Headache
Jaw cramping (lockjaw)
Sudden, involuntary muscle tightening – often in the stomach (muscle spasms)
Painful muscle stiffness all over the body
Trouble swallowing
Jerking or staring (seizures)
Fever and sweating
High blood pressure and fast heart rate

Oh, and did I forget to mention that, at the end of all that suffering, YOU CAN DIE? 10-20% of tetanus cases are fatal. WOULD YOU REALLY DO THAT TO YOUR CHILD? If you would, you deserve to have very bad things happen to you.

Meningococcal Disease

Remember a few hundred words back when I said we would see meningitis pop up again? Well, here it is. In this form, it is most commonly known as “the kissing disease” because the bacteria lives in the back of the throat and is easily spread through kissing. Public schools are frequently affected. Once the disease is present, the natural amorous activities of teenagers do a frighteningly good job of spreading the disease.

Oh, but you don’t have to kiss someone to get meningitis. All you have to do is live with someone who has it. This disease is highly communicable to the point of often requiring whole families to be quarantined. There are three primary strains of meningococcal disease, referred to as serogroups B, C, and Y and there are vaccines readily available to treat all three groups. This is a reportable disease and outbreaks are frequently listed on the CDC website.

If you have an 11-12-year-old child, they need this vaccine. If you are a first-year college student living in a dormitory, you need this vaccine. If you are a military recruit, you probably weren’t given a choice. You’ve had this vaccine. There are only two reasons for not getting the appropriate meningococcal vaccine: 1. you’re pregnant, which is generally a bad time to be getting vaccinated at all. 2. You have severe allergies. If you’re concerned that you might be allergic to some of the vaccine’s ingredients, consult your doctor. Latex allergies seem to present a common problem.

However, if you are neither pregnant nor allergic, then GET THE DAMN VACCINE. THIS DISEASE KILLS STUPID PEOPLE. Or the children of stupid people. Don’t be stupid.

Hepatitis B

Hey, here’s a nice disease you’ve heard about because there are plenty of sleazy celebrities running around with this Hepatitis B and they’re not dead yet, so it much not be all that bad, right?

Hey, stupid, those celebrities aren’t dead because they’re taking more drugs than are available at your local CVS. Had they not taken all the shots and the medicine their doctors prescribed, we wouldn’t be subjected to their continual parades of nonsense in the press.

Here’s what you need to know: Hepatitis B is 100 times more infectious than HIV, the disease that causes AIDS. While the most common means of transmission are through sex or sharing a needle, it is also very possible for a pregnant woman who has the disease to pass it on to her baby.

Hepatitis B attacks the liver. Chronic conditions (those lasting more than six months) may cause cirrhosis and lead to liver failure. Some people might qualify for liver transplant, but not everyone will. Because this is a disease that spreads primarily through voluntary risky behavior, don’t expect a lot of sympathy if you get it. The vaccine that can reduce the effect of some of the worst symptoms must be received within 24 hours of coming into contact with the disease. Next month doesn’t help you any.

Mothers who pass the disease along to their children start them off in life with a severe handicap. DO NOT DENY THESE CHILDREN VACCINATIONS. You’ve already fucked up by giving them Hepatitis B. Don’t make the situation any worse.

Mumps

I had the mumps as a child. It would seem that I survived. The first mumps vaccine wasn’t available until I was already in school. By then, I’d had the disease and was doing well. I was fortunate, though. My case wasn’t all that severe. A couple of weeks of careful care from our family doctor (I remember more than one shot being involved) and a liquid diet left me cranky but alive.

The danger of mumps is not just the only cause of parotitis, which is bad enough on its own, just look at this wonderful list of other diseases it can cause:

Aseptic meningitis/encephalitis
Sensorineural hearing loss/deafness
Transverse myelitis
Polyneuritis
Guillain-Barré syndrome
Cerebellar ataxia (with encephalitis)
Keratouveitis
Thyroiditis
Myocarditis
Mastitis
Pneumonia
Pancreatitis
Nephritis
Orchitis
Oophoritis
Arthritis
Thrombocytopenia purpura

Oh, and if that’s not enough, it can make adolescent boys sterile for the rest of their lives. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? So many different horrible ways to DIE all wrapped up in what too many people think of as a harmless childhood disease. Still want to put off getting those shots?

Hib (Haemophilus Influenzae Type B)

There is a very good chance you’ve never heard of Hib. Know why? Since the development of a vaccine, incidents of Hib dropped 99%. It’s not quite completely gone, but almost. The only reason it hasn’t disappeared is anti-vaxxers. Since they don’t see it occurring often in the general population, they don’t consider Hib a threat.

However, prior to the development of the vaccine, Hib was the number one cause of bacterial meningitis (yeah, that lovely disease again) among children under the age of 5. Before the vaccine, Hib infected approximately 20,000 children in the US each year. Of those, roughly 1,200 of them DIED. That means this vaccine is saving the lives of approximately 1,200 children a year. Because of this vaccine, more children live to start kindergarten, learn to read, tell silly jokes, and give us snaggle-toothed smiles when their baby teeth fall out.

People who don’t vaccinate their children run the risk of missing all that. Without this vaccination, the incidence of Hib will increase. As we see the disease increase, so will the deaths. Who is responsible for those deaths? THE IDIOTIC PARENTS WHO DIDN’T GET THEIR KIDS VACCINATED!

Manslaughter Is Too Nice A Word

There you go: ten horrible ways to die. We shouldn’t have to worry about any of them because WE HAVE VACCINES THAT PREVENT THESE DISEASES! There is absolutely no excuse at all for not vaccinating your children. This isn’t a choice you’re giving them like whether to go to church or believe in a deity or what flavor of ice cream to have after dinner. No, when you refuse to have your children vaccinated, you leave them vulnerable. Even worse, you’re not leaving them vulnerable to one disease, you’re leaving them wide open TO ALL TEN DEADLY DISEASES. Every last one of them. YOUR child could get Whooping Cough AND the flu AND meningitis AND polio all in one fell swoop! Their little bodies were never meant to have immune systems developed enough to stop all these diseases. GIVE THEM THE FUCKING SHOTS ALREADY!

You know as well as I do that there is a lot of horseshit on the Internet. Unfortunately, there are a lot of really stupid people who believe everything that comes from the mouth of anyone who is on television, or used to be on television, or looks like they could be on television, or might possibly own a television. People who can look past the MOUNTAINS of prevailing evidence, scientific and medical research, clinical studies by REPUTABLE doctors with THOUSANDS of subjects (not just 12), and still choose to believe the OUTRIGHT LIES that come from the anti-vaccination community ARE COMPLETE MORONS.

I want you to get this straight because I’m tired of hearing it come out of your filthy little mouths or seeing it typed by your filthy little fingers:

VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM!

NICO LaHOOD IS STILL WRONG!

Both of those headlines are links. Click them and pay attention to the evidence for once in your miserable life!

People who do not vaccinate their children are a threat to national security. When your children become ill with one of the ten diseases we’ve listed, they weaken the herd immunity of the entire country. A nation that loses its immunity against infectious and fatal disease is not a secure nation. We all are at risk because of YOUR behavior.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

YOUR behavior has ramifications well outside yourself. That’s why you don’t get to make this choice. No, it’s not yours to make. You don’t get to make a choice that puts me and my children, and the children in our neighborhood, and the children in the school my children attend, all at risk because YOUR ARE A FUCKING MORON WHO DOESN’T WANT TO BELIEVE THE SCIENCE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

Yes, I’m yelling at you because you’re fucking stupid. You are a danger to humanity and a direct threat to the safety and well-being of your own children. Should any of your children die from one of the horrible diseases we’ve listed here, you are not merely guilty of neglect or manslaughter. You are guilty of PREMEDITATED MURDER because you willfully choose to make the WRONG choice and PUT YOUR CHILDREN AT RISK despite the preponderance of evidence literally being shoved in your face.

I have no patience with nor sympathy for those who are so incredibly ignorant as to continue down this path of anti-vaccination. I don’t care if what I say hurts your feelings. Your feelings are not the issue. The issue is the safety and longevity of children, WHICH YOU ARE PUTTING IN DANGER BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO GET THEM THEIR VACCINATIONS. THEIR DEATHS ARE YOUR FAULT!

There Are Two Solutions To This Problem

Obviously, were everyone to decide to stop being stupid and have their children immunized, this whole problem goes away and everyone has a chance to live a reasonably happy life.

Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

So, let’s do this: everyone who doesn’t want to live in a vaccinated world gets to move to a lovely island somewhere in the South Pacific where there isn’t anyone else around for you to infect. You and your family get to move there, away from all the GMOs and the HMOs and the Oreos, and live completely natural lives without any interruption from anyone else. You stay there, where you can’t infect the rest of us. In 20 years, we’ll send out some folks wearing hazmat suits to collect and respectfully dispose of your remains in a manner that prevents any lingering disease from contaminating the rest of us. You get to live the way you want, and the rest of us get to live.

How does that sound? We don’t expect anything from you. You sit there on your island, soaking up the sun, enjoying the waves, the jellyfish stings, the spider bites, the infected fruit, maybe a wild animal or two. We won’t bother you with our modern medicine and vaccinations. You get to live your life all natural. Your deaths will be on your own terms: all natural—and likely painful.

I can get behind that idea. I’d even offer to help you pack but I’m afraid I might catch something.

So, good-bye,. Good riddance. Get the fuck out of here.

Let us know when you come to your senses. You’ll understand if I don’t hold my breath.

Current Issues / Fashion / PotD / science

Searching For Something Good

September 23, 2016

It’s so easy today to get swept up in celebrity fixation and materialism and searching for some validation outside of yourself when we know it’s really found within and through meaningful connections with other people. —Geoffrey S. Fletcher

charles i. letbetter - Searching for good news

Weeks so full of disappointment leave us searching for good news in hopes that , maybe, there might be some left.

My body didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. This week has seen more disappointments than I care to enumerate. Searching for even a moment’s rest has too often proven futile. I don’t like much that has happened this week. Neither do I care for most of the reactions to what has happened this week. I expect better from the world and that just hasn’t happened.

Every morning I wake up and start searching all available media sources to see what if I missed anything important while trying to sleep. I fear that one day I might wake up and find half the world has been blown away and, somehow, I managed to sleep through it. As I read through the headlines, I wonder what their long-term effect might be. I see a world changing around me and, at times, wonder if we are dooming ourselves.

Searching this morning, I desperately wanted to see something good, something that didn’t involve anyone getting killed, something that doesn’t reak of humanitarian or financial disaster. I found three things that I think are worth sharing. I consider them good. You, perhaps, may not because they each have the potential to change your world. If they do, though, that change is for the better. We need something good in our lives. Perhaps one of these stories works for you.

Changing The Common Language

Pronouns. If you went to public school in the United States, you were probably taught what they are and how to use them in the first grade. When referring to boys, we use the pronoun “he.” When referring to girls, we use the pronoun “she.” When referring to more than one person, we use the pronoun “they.” We’re all comfortable with that, aren’t we? Perhaps not for much longer.

You see, the pronouns “he” and “she” are problematic at times because they inherently assign a certain gender. We assume that the person we see who dresses masculine is a “he.” We assume that the person who dresses and styles themselves effeminately is a “she.” Chances are high that we don’t realize how often we are wrong.

A couple of the nation’s leading newspapers, the San Francisco Examiner and the Washington Post, have adopted use of the singular “they.” In the case of the Examiner, they have instructed their reporters to ask a subject whether they prefer to be referred to as “he,” “she,” or, “they.” Reporters are to make no assumptions and give the individual the right to be identified by whichever gender, or no gender, with which they are most comfortable.

Michael Howerton writes for the Examiner:

Our intention is to celebrate, dignify and respect the affirmations people make about their identities. We want to honor the identities of those we write about, not enforce gender binary language or diminish anyone’s right to their own.

As we are searching for ways to be more inclusive in our daily involvement with people, using the singular “they” might be a start. The challenge: getting English teachers and school curriculum to go along. What we learn first is what sticks with us the longest.

See-Now Buy-Now Might Be Working

The early numbers are in for Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, Rebecca Minkoff and Burberry and other designers are going to want to take notice: the new see-now, buy-now strategy seems to have worked. Looking at sales figures, especially online sales, for merchandise purchased immediately after a runway presentation and the labels involved are reporting some of their highest sales ever. According to an article on Business of Fashion this morning, Tom Ford reported their biggest sales day of the year. Burberry has already sold out of three items. The Rebecca Minkoff flagship store in New York reported its best day ever by more than 25 percent despite only being open half the day.

None of the labels reported a downturn and most department stores, such as Bergdorf Goodman and the Neiman Marcus Group, all reported significant increases in sales around the labels that had just shown their lines. What may be even more interesting is what people are buying. As of the article’s writing this morning, Ralph Lauren only had one remaining SKU for it’s $15,000 “Houston” overcoat. Burberry’s $5,249 Cavalry jacket — a deep red wool jacket with military-style braided stylings, was the brand’s top seller, surprising even chief creative officer Christopher Bailey.

The time to declare complete victory for the marketing shift is still several months away. If there are not new pieces coming into stores, if brands are unable to replenish looks that sell out early, then sales may not hold and could potentially lead to a downturn in lagging months. The fact that we’re going into the holiday season helps, though, and even if January sales are not stellar, chance are pretty strong we’ll see more labels switching to this approach next year.

We Really Are Family

We’ve known for some time that all humans migrated from Africa. What has been more of a mystery has been the timeline for that migration. While paleontologists have claimed to find skulls, skeletons, and tools scattered across Europe and Asia dating back over 100,000 years, it has been difficult to establish enough evidence to support the concept of any migration that old. While there is evidence of group splintering and separation within the African continent and the development of language as much as 200,000 years ago, there has not been a DNA study that supported a specific migration period. Until now.

Actually, what we’re looking at is three separate studies from three different sets of universities, that all came to roughly the same conclusion: We all left Africa about the same time, some 50-,000 to 80,000 years ago. Changes in climate and the search for food seem to be the primary reason for the exodus. What’s interesting, though, is that everyone, including aboriginal populations once thought to have migrated separately, left Africa at the same time.

Center to this hypothesis is the testing of indigenous groups of people around the world, something that had not happened before. Prior to these three studies, most DNA sampling had occurred among Africans and Europeans. Researchers expected that studying indigenous people would provide deeper insight into migration patterns. What they didn’t expect was evidence that everyone pretty much up and left at about the same time.

This research also shows that we are even more interconnected as a species than we ever thought. We are one race. We all descended from one people. We are all part of a family. We left Africa together and scattered ourselves across the globe in search for the resources we need to live and to grow. From there, we simply adapted to our environments. There is no race that we have not concocted of our own doing. We are one.

Searching For Something Good

Our searching this morning came up with some very interesting topics for discussion. They are good topics, I believe. We are improving how we treat each other, how we do things, and how we view the world. Despite frequent evidence to the contrary, on the whole we are moving in a positive direction.

It’s Friday. Take this information into the weekend with you and continue searching. There are good things out there. Embrace them. Enjoy them. Learn something.

Current Issues / Mythology / PotD

Hiding From The Glare Of Our Own Sins

September 22, 2016

charles i. letbetter - hiding from the glare of our sins

Hateful to me as are the gates of hell, Is he who, hiding one thing in his heart, Utters another. —Homer

charles i. letbetter - hiding from the glare of our own sins

We’re quick to find fault in others, but we are hiding from the truth

An entire professional sports team took a knee during the national anthem last night. Notice, as often as we’ve seen people using the national anthem as a means of protest, it’s always been limited to a few members here and there. This was the entire Indiana Fever WNBA team, on a knee. Why? Because they’re tired of us hiding the prevalence of institutionalized violence against black people.

Charlotte, North Carolina is still rioting this morning. The governor of that state has called out the National Guard. Hiding the systemic hate and violence against black people in that state is no longer an option. The sins of the state and its cities have come out of the shadows where they have existed for the past 160 years and good folks down there are taking to the streets to end the nonsense.

Meanwhile, the Republican nominee told supporters at a rally yesterday that he supports a stop-and-frisk policy, illegally detaining people simply because a police officer doesn’t like the way they look, or the way they walk, or the color of their skin. Only one person walked out. The room should have been empty, but we’re still foolishly trying to hide our racism.

We, Americans, have become quite talented at hiding our sins, especially those we commit toward people groups that are different from us. We have created institutions to perpetuate those sins and even ingrain them in our educational methods that ignore the presence and contributions of marginalized people. As the light dawns, however, those sins become far too clear.

Hiding Behind Tradition

“We’ve done things this way for years and no one’s every complained before.”

Maurice Maeterlinck, who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1911, wisely said: “At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard the past.” We don’t give up on tradition easily, no matter how horribly flawed we know it to be. We hang on to these “sins of our fathers” as though they were some kind of sick birthright to which we have no choice but to uphold.

Hiding behind tradition is a lazy excuse, though. We dump tradition in a heart beat when it suits us. When we say, “It’s always been that way,” what we are in fact saying is that we want it to always stay that way. We invoke tradition because we are comfortable with our sins. The traditions are so much a part of us that we even try to claim them as part of our culture and heritage. Yet, we know damn good and well we’re wrong.

Remember this song by Bruce Hornsby and The Range from 1986? Even then, as the song pointed out the sins we are trying to hide by saying, “That’s just the way it is,” we listened to the song and just dug ourselves in deeper. Here, let me refresh your memory.

Hiding Behind Religion

Talked about entrenched. When people have been misinterpreting a writing they’ve declared holy, whether intentionally or through ignorance, the shadows created for hiding our sins run deep. We find it all too easy to excuse our behavior, and often our indignation and intolerance, with the simple phrase,”The Bible tells me so.” Conveniently, there are plenty of places throughout the holy texts of multiple religions where deity instructs us, or someone eons before us, to behave like complete assholes. That whole “go here and kill those people who don’t believe in me” concept is something we’ve translated into an excuse for hate, discrimination, abuse, imprisonment, wars, and other atrocities too horrible to mention.

Ironically, while providing these deep shadows for hiding our sins, religion simultaneously tells us we are supposed to love each other, to be tolerant of the strangers and foreigners among us, to embrace those who are different. This is the message that makes us feel good on a Sunday morning. We look around the congregation at the end of the service and proclaim, “I just love everybody.” Yet, before you’re even out the door you’re casting side glances at old Mrs. Talkstoomuch so you don’t get stuck listening about a lonely old widow’s aches and pains. You drive past 15 perfectly good restaurants to get to the one whose wait staff has the right color skin. Then, after dinner, you sit in your easy chair to watch a ball game and complain about how “those people” are ruining the game. Tell me again, please, just exactly who it is your religion told you to love?

Hiding behind religion is inexcusable. If you think your religion tells you that some people are inherently worse than others, you need a new religion. No holy book covers your sins. You’re guilty and you know it. You want to clap your hands about that?

Hiding Behind Ignorance

One of the greatest sins of my generation is that we have intentionally institutionalized hate by only teaching history from the perspective of a white, anglo-saxon protestant existence that was never more than horseshit in the first place. For far too long, everything we taught in school was based on a white-washed, brain-washed, hand-sanitized view of the world designed to marginalize, criminalize, and oppress anyone who wasn’t white and middle class. While the textbooks have changed in some places, there are still plenty of instances where the secession of Confederate states is justified, where the holding of slaves is taught as an economic necessity, and the Ku Klux Klan is referred to as a religious civic organization.

We were raised with readers that only contained illustrations of white children with names like Dick and Jane. We were taught that the extermination of native peoples was necessary to “advance the frontier.” Even in television programming and movies taught us that the “indians” were always the bad guys, nothing more than blood-thirsty savages. With such ignorance being taught in schools is it any wonder we’re now faced with situations such as the Dakota Access Pipeline where far too many people don’t seem to have any problem with polluting tribal water or desecrating tribal land? We justify our sins with the claim that, “we didn’t know,” or even worse, “I don’t understand why they’re so upset.”

One member of the Oglala Lakota Nation said yesterday:

“We’re not just some hashtag out there just making a scene. We want to be heard. We want you guys to understand that we are fighting for our lives, for our children, for our people, the way we have, our culture, our identity.”

There is no excuse for our ignorance and that shadow is insufficient to hide our sins.

We Are In The Wrong

Let’s get real: If you can justify police murdering an unarmed man in Tulsa, you are wrong.

If you think that police have a reason to be afraid of a person just because of the color of their skin or the neighborhood in which they live, you are wrong.

If you think it is okay to take away the land and culture of an entire tribe in the name of profit, you are wrong.

If you think that it’s acceptable to spit at, hurl insults toward, or even commit acts of violence against someone because they are gay, lesbian, bi, or transgendered, you are wrong.

If you think that people who profess a religion different from yours should be barred, banned, or given a different set of rules, you are wrong.

These are the sins that justify the protests in Charlotte. These are the sins that have thousands camping and protesting at Standing Rock Sioux Reservation. These are the sins that, if allowed to linger in the shadows, will most certainly become the justification for an uprising of marginalized people who just aren’t going to take our horseshit anymore.

Maybe we should step out of the shadows, confess our sins somewhere other than a fucking closet, and change the situation. Don’t wait for anyone else. We must be our own leaders.

End this nonsense now.

Current Issues / Photography / PotD

Photography Creates Our Vision Of The World

September 21, 2016

You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand. —Woodrow Wilson

charles i. letbetter - photography creates the vision of the world

As more people simply scan articles rather than read, photographs are more important in creating the vision through which people see the world

I never thought I’d have reason to use this picture. It was taken in 2005 as Indianapolis Police were conducting what I would consider an illegal search of my assistant’s car. The entire stop was illegal, but we were standing downtown, at 2:00 in the morning, across from City Hall, with my camera on a tripod. The officer felt like that was sufficient reason to create a scene. I never had any reason to use the photo, though, because, after 30 minutes, he let us go. Never mind the fact that the conceal carry permit for the gun my assistant was carrying had expired. We were all white. They let us go.

This morning, I was up at 2:00 AM again, this time getting ready for the first fashion show in Milan. As I sit at my computer, this is the first picture I see:

This photogragher deserves a Pulitzer for this shot. Contrast “to protect and serve” with the reader board on the bus. #KeithLamontScott pic.twitter.com/IVc5acioxJ

— Matthew Robinson (@Robinsonpost) September 21, 2016

Police are in riot gear because, at 2:00 AM, Charlotte, North Carolina is rioting. Charlotte, Noth Carolina is rioting because police saw fit to murder a man who was sitting in his car, waiting on his daughter’s bus. You may have difficulty remembering the name Keith Lamont Scott, but you will remember this photograph.

Photographs don’t change our vision, they create it

That photograph spurred some type of response in you just now. All the photographs surrounding this murder as well as that of Terence Crutcher in Tulsa, Oklahoma, are all you have in establishing your vision of what happened. By the way, we checked and credit for the picture above goes to Adam Rhew at Charlotte magazine. You may not remember Rhew’s name, but you’ll remember his photograph. You may not remember Terrence Crutcher’s name, but you’ll remember that police helicopter photo of him standing in the middle of the road, unarmed and with his hands above his head when he was murdered.

Remember this picture?

Regardless of how you feel about the subject itself, it was the photograph, a still taken from live video feed, that created your vision. This is how you see any number of related topics, from the right to protest, to patriotism, to racism, to football, and any other number of topics that one might choose to associate with the image. Had you not seen this picture, or one similar to it (there are multiple different crops floating around), you would have a concept of the issue, but you wouldn’t have a vision in your mind of how that concept looks.

Our vision, how we see the world, is immensely important. There is very little that we actually get to experience up close and in person. With a lot of news, we don’t want to be up close and in person. If photographers were not present, capturing these issues, giving us a vision where we otherwise would have none, our opinions and responses to these situations might likely be very different. Photographs give us eyes, though, and once we’ve seen pictures like this, we can’t un-see them.

Some Prefer To Be Blind

Strangely enough, not everyone likes having such vision thrust upon them; they’d rather stay blind. When we see pictures like these, we are put in the position of having to create an opinion, take a side, maybe even take a stand. Not everyone is comfortable having to do those things.

Plenty of people prefer that you not have any vision or opinion. The Republican nominee for President became rather upset last week when there was photographic evidence of a supporter punching a woman in the face. The matter was easy enough to deny, sweep under the covers, until video popped up of the assault actually happening. Pictures kept the crime from going away and demanded that the nominee respond. He wasn’t happy and more than once during his campaign he has been disparaging against photographers.

He’s not the only one, though. Around the world, leaders would rather we not take pictures of people starving, living in squalid conditions, existing in sub-par refugee camps, homeless on the street, long lines of unemployed. Politicians prefer the Chamber of Commerce photos that show everything bright, cheery, and perfect for your next visit. They would rather no one see the downside, the number of homicides so far this year, deteriorating road conditions, urban blight, or suburban decay.

Yet, pictures that show what no one likes to see are the photographs that motivate change. With a clear vision, we see what needs to be improved, what and who needs to be replaced, and just maybe how our own attitudes need to change. If photographers are not out there taking those pictures, who knows that there is a problem? Words can only convey so much at their best, and in today’s society, fewer people are actually reading those words. We scan headlines and look at pictures.

Creating A Balanced Vision

Photographers have a lot of power when it comes to creating a vision. We decide where we’re going to be and when we’re going to snap the shutter. If we choose to look away, if we don’t take a picture of a crime being committed, then we are complicit in the very act itself. We have a responsibility to take those shots when we see them.

At the same time, however, we have a responsibility to show more than one side of a situation whenever possible. Creating a false vision is reprehensible and does greater harm than if we’d taken no photograph at all. For all the legitimate reasons there are to photograph protests against police, if that’s the only view of law enforcement we provide we fuel anarchy and greater unrest. We have to find the balance, look for the good, and give it at least an opportunity to make a difference. Pictures of good can be just as powerful as pictures of the bad, but we have to put just as much effort into getting those shots as we do those of unrest.

Our job as photographers is not to be apologists for anyone. Our job is to photograph the truth. All of it. Even the portions we find distasteful, even those elements with which we disagree. We do more than provide a record for future generations. We provide this generation with a vision. The job of the photographer is to make sure that vision is accurate.

And shame on those of us who sit on the sidelines and do nothing.

Current Issues / Fashion / PotD

Fashioning A Future Of Our Own

September 18, 2016

charles i. letbetter - fashioning a future

I don’t try to describe the future. I try to prevent it. —Ray Bradbury

charles i. letbetter - fashioning a future of our own

What we do now, the things we believe, the acts we commit, all participate in the shaping of our own future

The future is a difficult topic when today has a strange and different feeling to it. Shortly after 3 AM, five cars rolled up at our next door neighbor’s, apparently bringing home the party that started at a local club. An hour later, the dog and I went for our morning stroll. We couldn’t help noticing lights on where normally there are none, an absence of cars where there normally are some, and then, there was the couple who decided to leave the light on and the window open as they had sex. The dog was curious.

Of course, I woke up to the news of the bombing in Chelsea (New York) this morning. At this point, it is still far too soon to know the intent or purpose of the act. Chelsea is a very active area at night. That no one was killed is nothing short of amazing. That hours have passed and the topic is not trending, however, is frightening. We have become comfortable with acts of terrorism.

All of these experiences, from the neighbor’s party to the bombing in Chelsea, become part of how we shape our future. We respond to these events, even if they don’t directly affect us, in ways that, in turn, affect how we respond to other events that have not yet happened. With everything that we do, everything we see, everything that enters our conscience becomes part of what we do next. Do we run? Do we hide? Do we go back to bed? The interconnectedness of it all is mind boggling.

How Children Imagine The Future

The folks over at Hasbro, you know, the place where making sure your kids are well-occupied is a business, decided to ask children to imagine life in the year 2076—60 years from now. Looking into the future is fun when one has their entire future in front of them. At my age, it starts to get a bit frightening. The answers kids gave back, though, weren’t too surprising: flying cars, flying shoes, houses extending up into the clouds. You’ll be glad to know that we all get pet unicorns and stoves cook the food for us.

Oh, and the aliens are our friends at that point.

Hasbro took those answers and did something cool: imagined them in Play-Doh. The process was caught in time lapse photography. Here’s the future of fashion for you:

There are others, equally amusing. What I noticed, though, is that children did not see a future full of fear. We’re friends with aliens. We have unicorns. Everything is okay.

We All May Be Jerks

One of the articles I’m half-reading between fashion shows is How To Tell If You’re A Jerk. I’ll admit that I’ve not been overly enthused about completing the article. I didn’t have to read too far to realize that, yes, there are times I am totally a jerk. So are you. In fact, using the criteria set forth in the article, it would seem rather inevitable that we are all going to be jerks in one way or another.

What is likely more important is whether, or when, we’re going to be jerks in the future. Notice how children see the future. Everything is innocent in their eyes. There are no jerks for them in the year 2076. While I wish we could make that reality come true, I doubt very seriously if we can help ourselves. In order to give today’s children a society free of jerks we would have to:

stop diminishing the humanity of others
accept criticism and realize we are all fallible
acquire an ability to actually listen to others
realize the amazing potential in others

I don’t doubt for a moment that we might want to adopt those traits and attitudes. Certainly, we would like others to treat us with such kindness. Yet, our ability to apply those qualities toward others is strained. We find ourselves in tense situations and our best intentions snap.

A Future Where We All Live

Another article that crossed my path this week comes from The Atlantic and sets a rather ominous tone with the title, The World Is A Thriving Slaughterhouse. My, isn’t that the cheeriest thing you’ve read all day? The author is an award-winning writer who has spent most of his career covering places of conflict, talking to refugees and those who somehow managed to survive the most audacious travesties of war. He points out the fact that over the length of his career, the killing has never stopped. Rather, it only changes locations.

My mind flashes back to New York. Most streets in the Chelsea district are open now. The second device has been defused. Mayor DeBlasio is calling the act “intentional” but still isn’t saying that it’s connected to a specific intent of terror. No one died this time. For that, we are thankful. Yet, the question in the back of my mind still asks, “Is it only a matter of time?”

Children don’t imagine a future where people are constantly dying. Why can’t we give them that? Why can we not make it our goal to create for them a future where, at the very least, humans aren’t killing humans. We may not be able to rid the world of all the horrible diseases. We certainly can’t prevent those acts of nature that wipe out thousands at a time. We can, however, stop intentionally killing each other. Why do we not do that? Why have we not done it before?

The Chance To Make Things Happen

No matter what we try, I don’t think we can make the unicorn thing come true. I’m sure we really want flying shoes, either; I see some potential danger there. There are other things we can do with our future, though. We can make it better than what we have right now. We can make tomorrow brighter. We can make nex week happier.Next month, we can all be in a better place.

What has to happen is we have to start changing our responses to the things that occur around us today. So the neighbor’s party is still going at 5:00 AM. Cool. Be glad they’re having a good time and that no one is getting hurt or driving home drunk. Worry less about what’s keeping others up late and more about we mgiht respond if/when they need help.

More than anything, how we fashion our future depends on us recognizing and valuing the humanity of other people. Even if they’re just as big a jerk as you are. We make a better future one thought, one response at a time. Start now.

Behind The Scenes / Just For Fun / Photography / PotD

How To NOT Hire A Professional Photographer

September 14, 2016

Every other artist begins with a blank canvas, a piece of paper. The photographer begins with the finished product. —Edward Steichen

Of all the ways there are to hire a photographer, some people make us not want to work with them at all.

A lot of people are clueless when it comes to knowing how to hire a photographer. Some just go to the nearest commercial studio, sit down, pay the fees, and try to enjoy the results. It’s easier that way. Those who need something specific, though, and especially corporate entities that need product and marketing imagery, need more than can be found at the Photos-R-Us booth at the mall.

A source on social media led me to this article on Libris: How To Hire A Professional Photographer. The article is well written and covers the major topics one might want to consider before hiring a professional photographer for corporate imagery. The same recommendations wouldn’t necessarily apply to someone hiring a portrait photographer, though. Similarly, there’s a very different set of questions to ask before hiring a wedding photographer, or someone who can adequately capture your four-year-old’s birthday. Hiring a good photographer can be challenging.

At the same time, however, photographers are plagued by would-be customers who don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Most of the time, we can help and guide them toward exactly what they need. For example, if you ask me about wedding photos, I’m going to guide you toward a number of colleagues who do nothing but weddings. They’re good at that. Weddings just drive me nuts. Still, there are always those who get it so wrong we just walk away.

Here’s a humorous list of ways to NOT hire a professional photographer.

Start with “How much would you charge …”

I don’t want to hear any more. If all you are interested in is the cost, then you’re not interested in the professionalism and quality of my work, which is a large part of how my price is determined. If you’re shopping based on price, go to the mall. I, on the other hand, am likely to give you my sarcastic (and very poor) Groucho Marx impression:

“How much do I charge? How much do you have? Here, show me your wallet. We’ll just take all those credit cards there and max ’em out and call it even. That works for me, doesn’t it? By the way, who did you say you are?”

Don’t have a clue what you want

“We need someone to take pictures for our company’s website.” comes the typical request.

“Wonderful, what kind of pictures do you want?” we’ll ask. “Headshots of company leadership? Pictures of your products? Photos of your employees pretending to work together?”

“I don’t know. Just stuff around the office or something.”

Uhm, yeah. You need to find someone who has to patience to stand around and twiddle their thumbs all day while you make up your mind. This never works because, regardless of what pictures might ultimately be taken, they’re never the “right ones,” because no one has a freaking clue what the “right ones” are. Call me when you know what you want.

Think anything under $500 is a budget

Sure, you can always find a photographer willing to work for next to nothing, or maybe even nothing. They’re out there. You get what you pay for. This applies in double doses to corporate imagery. We apply a formula when calculating the value of corporate photographs. That formula includes various forms of media and how many people are likely to view the image(s). The pictures going into a $3 million global ad campaign are going to cost a lost more than the pictures we shoot for Uncle Fester’s Bait Shop.

Photographers often feel a lot of pressure here and too many companies are willing to take advantage of us. We want the job, especially if the client carries some name recognition. However, we also know the value of our work. If you’re a corporation, it’s beyond rude to ask for anyone to take a shot of your company headquarters for less than $1,500. Try to understand the value of our work and give us a budget that is reasonable.

Balk at paying for my staff

You want me to take your pictures. You’ve looked at my portfolio and like what you see. But when I mention the cost of my staff, you don’t want to pay for them? Seriously? How the fuck do you think I took those great pictures in my portfolio? There was a makeup artist, a hair stylist, a wardrobe stylist, possibly an art director, certainly an assistant or two, and quite possibly someone whose job is to make sure I don’t fall down too much (it happens). Granted, the size of the staff fluctuates with the difficulty and particular needs of the project. Still, there is almost always going to be at least one other person with me, even if we’re just taking pictures of the grass growing on your front lawn.

Wanting to hire a professional photographer and not pay the staff is like buying a new car and not wanting to pay for the engine. You want them. You need them. They’re professionals as well. Don’t be the ass who doesn’t want to pay them. I’ll just wrap their costs into my fee, plus an extra 20% for the trouble.

Diss pictures in my portfolio

Let me expand on that. Don’t diss the pictures, nor the models in the picture, nor the products in the pictures, nor the clients for whom the pictures were taken, nor where the pictures were taken, or anything else involving the pictures in a photographer’s portfolio. If you don’t like our pictures, then why the fuck are you asking us to take yours? You’re not impressing me with your alleged “knowledge of photography” or “commitment to quality.” You’re just being a gripey old bitch who is probably not going to be pleased with anything we do.

I don’t like working with/for negative people. I have better things to do with my time. Plus, it’s really difficult to be creative and artistic when there’s someone on set who just isn’t going to be pleased. You keep that bad attitude up and I’m stopping and making everyone do the chicken dance.

Talk politics

Do ya’ want to take pictures or do you want to start a fight? Hmm? Or do you want me to take pictures of the fight? I add a hazardous duty surcharge for getting that close to the action. I’m unapologetically liberal, but even if we agree on most issues, the photo set isn’t the place or time for political discussions, even if what we’re shooting is inherently political. Let the photographer do his work, take the pictures you need, and then you can discuss the political ramifications of electing a toad for president.

Distractions on the set are a problem. I know sometimes they can’t be avoided, but, by all means, don’t intentionally introduce them where they’re not needed.

Cancel last minute then expect us to rebook for free

Sure, we’re willing to consider special circumstances outside anyone’s control, such as natural disaster, death, severe illness, or sudden IRS audit (it’s happened). However, if you’re cancelling within 48 hours of a scheduled shoot simply because it’s not “convenient” for someone, we’re charging a rebooking fee and it’s probably not going to be small.

Here’s the thing: we create our schedules well in advance. When someone cancels last-minute, we can’t just turn around and take the next client standing in line. That cancellation removes our ability to make money during that time block. You’re effectively costing us money. Your photographer is going to be reluctant to reschedule under those circumstances because if it’s “inconvenient” once, it’s likely to be “inconvenient” again and someone obviously doesn’t value our time. We may not tell you we won’t rebook, but a smart photographer charges a fee for doing so.

And other stupid shit

There are plenty of other things I could add to this list but time and your lack of interest prevent me from making this article too terribly much longer. Know that most photographers don’t give a damn about your opinions on anything, don’t want anyone second-guessing their work, and yes, we do mind that your second-cousin with an “interest in photography” is shooting right behind us. If that same person had an “interest in medicine,” would you take them to your next OB/GYN exam? Hmm?

As I said, I’m trying to treat the topic humorously. The issues are real, though, and might cause you to miss out on the best pictures you could have had. I’m not the only photographer who is a bit picky about his clients. Not by a long shot.

So, get your ducks in a row, have a reasonable budget, and let us do our job without interference. If you can do that, hiring a professional photographer is easy.

Fashion

Can Indiana Handle Sexy Fashion?

September 13, 2016

charles i. letbetter - is indiana ready for sexy fashion

Fashion is here to help make people look very important. If they have good taste and choose what suits them, I give them options on how they can do that. It’s always sexy, and it’s always with the same result: making women look fantastic. —Vivienne Westwood

We’re seeing a lot of sexy looks on the New York runways, but will they work in the Midwest and, if one dares, what are the social ramifications?

New York fashion is different from what we see in the other three fashion capitals, London, Milan, and Paris. Fashion here doesn’t have 150-year-old brands with house aesthetics that can’t be breached. New York fashion tends to run more current, more realistic, more “street,” and more accessible. Yes, we have some designers who make lovely red-carpet gowns. We also have a handful that are very experimental. For the most part, though, New York designers like to keep it real with collections that run from casual daywear to luxurious eveningwear with something for just about everyone.

That “something for everyone” approach may have gotten American fashion into trouble, though. A recent article in Fast Company explores how major American brands such as Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren have lost their luster. Speculation in the article runs along the lines that the labels spread themselves too thin, discounted too much. In trying to be everything to everyone, they risk becoming nothing.

Business of Fashion questions whether Tommy Hilfiger’s partnership with model Gigi Hadid was enough to revive a brand that’s no longer cool. Meanwhile, Ralph Lauren announced this morning they’re moving to the popular see-now, buy-now concept. What we’re actually seeing on the runway, though, is that New York brands are being much sexier.

Mentioning The Unmentionables

I’ve mentioned multiple times this past week in our reviews on Pattern that we’re seeing a lot of bras on the runway this season. While that’s not too unusual for brands such as Desigual, and certainly understandable for labels such as Chromat, we’re not as accustomed to seeing them from designers such as Jill Stuart, Altuzarra, and Jason Wu. Victoria Beckham even designed her entire collection around the bra concept.

Then, we’re seeing a lot more sheer this season. Sheer has been a normal part of European design for several seasons. American designers have tended to stay away, though, because many community decency laws would prohibit them being worn without a camisole or something else underneath. However, as I’m typing this, I just finished watching a Very Wang show in which half the collection was sheer, and not necessarily in the most modest of ways. We’ve seen a tremendous amount more sheer this season than ever before.

Some are blaming the exhibitionism encouraged by photo-sharing sites such as Instagram. While almost all the sites prohibit outright nudity, the closer one gets to exposing everything the more one’s list of followers increases. More followers mean more sponsorships so seeing models in their underwear is a relatively normal occurrence. Fashion designers would seem to be merely following that trend and taking the look to the street. The question is, are the streets ready for the look?

Will It Play In Indy?

With all these new, sexy looks dominating the runways, the question becomes one of whether Indiana women are interested in wearing these clothes, will they be able to find them in local stores, and if they do, what are the social and legal implications? Here’s where I would like to start a serious dialog because, quite honestly, I’m not sure of the answers. I would like to think that people can wear whatever they want and not have to worry about it. We all know that’s not the reality of the situation, though.

I do know that some buyers for local department stores stay away from current season clothing in part to give people here some time to become comfortable with what is being worn on the coast. As they see their favorite celebrities dressing a certain way, Midwestern shoppers then become more interested in mimicking those styles. However, that process takes a while, As a result, some stores routinely stock fashion that is off by a season or two. Not everyone is that way, though. Fast fashion stores such as H&M are more likely to duplicate whatever is selling best on the two coasts.

The Midwest has a well-deserved reputation for dressing more conservatively. Even as people see their favorite celebrities dress certain ways, is that enough to convince people to cross social barriers that have existed for generations? Are women okay with wearing a light jacket open with nothing under it but a bra? Or consider the low-plunging hoodies shown at DKNY. Are local gyms likely to be tolerant of women wearing sports gear that is intentionally sexy? There are a lot of open questions that probably need to be answered.

Let’s Start Talking

These are almost all spring/summer looks that are doing the boundary pushing. Designers doing current season are keeping people bundled up so the issues are not too pressing. We have time to talk. I would love to see Indianapolis be a safe place for people to wear anything, anytime. For that to happen, though, we all need to be talking with each other. Perhaps Polina can help us start a conversation with city officials so everyone is clear on exactly what is legal without getting into trouble. I also wouldn’t mind seeing a conversation between shop owners and store buyers as to what their criteria might be for stocking new fashion this next spring.

There is a lot of really great fashion coming up for this spring/summer. Why should those opportunities be limited only to those who live on either coast? And as Indianapolis continues to draw ever-growing numbers of people here for conventions and trade shows, we increase the likelihood that people visiting will have some of these more forward-thinking styles in their suitcases. How will the city respond to them?

Watching fashion shows is a lot of fun, but ultimately I want to see people actually wearing some version of what I see on the runway. Are you ready Indy? Here comes the sexiest fashion we’ve seen!

Editorial / PotD / video

Truth Gets Ugly And Brutal. Deal With It.

September 13, 2016

In a time of universal deceit — telling the truth is a revolutionary act. —George Orwell

charles i. letbetter - truth is ugly and brutal

Truth is rarely as pretty or as palpable as we want. Truth is rather brutal and we need to deal with it.

I had a conversation early this morning, before walking the dog, with a friend who is sitting with his father, waiting for him to die. I’ve sat in that chair, where there’s nothing one can do to bring them back or make their exit from this plane of existence more comfortable. Truth is, we’re all going to be there. If we’re not in the chair holding the hand of a parent, we’re the one in the bed.

I teased elsewhere this morning that I looked in the mirror and realized that I’m too old and too ugly to die young and leave a good-looking corpse. Mirrors force us to face truth in ways we don’t especially enjoy. Truth is often brutal. Perhaps that’s why we tend to avoid it so much. Try as we may, though, truth catches up with us sooner or later.

An article came across my desk recently, 20 Brutal Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit. While some of the points are a bit redundant (that happens when an editor insists that lists be in conveniently round numbers), the truths he mentions are valid for all of us. We don’t like acknowledging them, to be sure, but if we’re going to get through life with any level of contentedness, we have to deal with things we don’t like.

There’s No Escaping Death

You’re going to die. Your friends are going to die. Everything and everyone around you is going to die. Furthermore, no one controls when that might happen. As much as I like to say I’m going to live long enough to be a pain in the ass to my grandchildren, the truth is I don’t control when I’m going to die. None of us do. I could just as easily step out the back door and be taken out by a random rabid owl. While that scenario isn’t exactly likely, there are far too many things over which we have no control that could cause us to die suddenly and unexpectedly. An unknown space object could come crashing to the earth. Volcanoes could suddenly swallow North America. North Korea.

We don’t deal with the thought of mortality well and that needs to change. Realize that all those awards, the size of your bank account, all those accomplishments don’t mean a damn thing when you’re lying on your death bed. That’s assuming you even get a death bed. There are myriad paths to fatality where you’re alive one moment and not the next. We might think we’re going to die of cancer then get hit by a bus on our way to the clinic.

A lot of people talk about leaving a legacy. A lot of that talk is horseshit. Just because your name is on a half-dozen buildings doesn’t mean anyone actually cares about who you were or that your goals and ideals live on. Charities happily take your money and then, once you’re dead, do what they damn well please with it. If you want your money to do something, do it now.

Do Something That Actually Matters

Hard truth: accumulating wealth doesn’t matter. You don’t take it with you and you can’t really control what happens to it when you’re gone. The best you can hope to do is guide how your money is spent and even that is dubious. Even giving your money away isn’t nearly as impactful as charities like to make you believe. If you really want to make a difference: donate your time. Being hands on with a cause that is important makes much more difference than just giving money.

What we do with our lives, how we spend those waking moments, are what lead us to happiness and fulfillment. Searching for happiness itself is a fruitless effort; you won’t just find it sitting in a cafe somewhere waiting for you . Happiness happens when you do things. Good things. Things that help other people. Things that make a difference to the planet.

Don’t over think everything you do. You can’t be perfect nor can you please everyone. Don’t waste your time telling other people what to do, get in there and do it yourself and let everyone else follow if they want. It is much more important that you set a good example than trying to lead everyone else from the sidelines. If you want to leave a legacy, make it one of achieving what no one thought you could achieve.

Time Matters

Since any one of us could croak at any minute, that makes every moment in which you’re not dying all the more important. That means, truth be told, you need to set some priorities and start managing the hell out of your life. Love someone? Don’t just tell them, show them. Spend time with the people who mean the most to you. Show them you care. I promise, when they’re lying in a bed dependent upon constant IVs and other assistance in order to exist, it doesn’t matter how fucking busy you thought you were or how important you thought you were being. Nothing matters more than the time you spend with the people you love.

The truth of our mortality also dictates that if you want to do something you’d best get busy doing it now. Don’t wait to ask for permission if you don’t need to. Don’t wait until the timing is more convenient because that never happens. Timing is never convenient. So, if you want to start a family, take the steps necessary to start a family. If you want to learn a language, start talking. If you want to travel, start walking.

One of the biggest mistakes we make is that we sit back and let life happen to us. We are being lazy and stupid when we do that. No one is going to show up at the front door and just hand you a bundle of cash. No one is going to walk up to you on the street and just offer you a dream job. We have to make life happen for ourselves. Otherwise, we look up one day and realize we’re 70 years old and all we’ve done with our lives is wait.

Take It From Someone Who Failed

At the end of the article I mentioned earlier is a brief video conversation with Bill Bartman. Bill understands the truth about how nasty and ugly and terribly inconvenient things can be. He has had it all and lost every last bit of it. He understands, though, that we don’t let failure stop us from taking risks, living life, and getting things done. So, I’ll leave you with that video. It’s only five and a half minutes, so take the time to watch. Then go. Do. Live.

Behind The Scenes / Just For Fun / PotD

The Dog Eats Popsicle Sticks And Cat Poop

September 12, 2016

I am called a dog because I fawn on those who give me anything, I yelp at those who refuse, and I set my teeth in rascals. —Diogenes

charles i. letbetter - the dog likes Popsicle sticks and cat poop

Not everything in our world revolves around fashion. I still have to walk the dog.

I’m taking everything that happens this morning as a sign from the universe, and it’s not looking good at this point.

We have a cat tree in our living room positioned right by the entrance to the hallway leading to/from the bedrooms. When I woke up this morning, all three of the adult cats were sleeping on the tree. As I pass, the eldest cat, and only male of the bunch, reaches out and baps me upside the head. Normally, he’s rather gentle but not this morning. There was some claw in that bap. I consider that a wake-up message. I need to pay attention—and give the big guy some love.

Taking the dog out, I was enjoying the cool 57° as we traversed our route around the neighborhood. Being away from the computer screen at the start of the day helps me clear my mind, sort my thoughts, and avoid stepping in someone else’s dog’s poop. I needed that time away this morning. I was pissed that after spending so very much time creating yesterday’s picture of the day only seven people actually saw it. Seven. Everyone’s off looking at the fashion reviews, which is flattering in a way. But there’s more to life.

Like popsicle sticks, apparently. We returned from our walk and I filled the dog’s bowl. Most days he nibbles a bit then lays back down and naps. The cats happen to like this particular brand of dog food, though, and steal it from his bowl.

Subheadings Make Copy More Readable

They also interrupt the story at awkward moments. As I was saying, the cats keep stealing the dog’s food.

So, this morning, the dog decides he’s had enough of the culinary theft and devours his morning ration the instant it hits the bowl. Then, apparently still not satisfied, he goes sniffing around the couch to see what else he can find. What he found was a popsicle stick that Kat had left out on the couch. Of course, dogs don’t need popsicle sticks, what with splinters and all. I took the stick away and put it in the trash.

Five minutes later I hear a crunching sound behind me. Sure enough, the dog had retrieved the popsicle stick from the garbage and was continuing his treat. I took the stick away again and gave him a stern warning to stay out of the trash.

Dogs understand human logic; I’m sure of it. Don’t laugh at me.

I sit back down to look at the morning’s news, something about the Democratic candidate passing out from boredom or some other nonsense, when I heard sounds coming from the vicinity of the cats’ litter box. That wouldn’t be a problem except for the fact that all three cats were back in their tree. I check and sure enough the dog was back there eating the cat poop.

Good thing we use an all-natural cat litter.

Other Things Happened This Weekend

Football. You know, those guys who get paid millions of dollars to give each other concussions. I like football at the college level, but the so-called pros bore me. Besides, there were fashion shows to watch. Lots and lots of fashion shows.

There were also neighbors that needed some attention.

We’ve known for a while that our friend across the street was struggling. Some of the bitchier old ladies in the neighborhood have made it impossible for him to do the minor mechanic work he was performing in his driveway. Not that he was doing anyone any harm, mind you, just changing oil (with appropriate disposal), adjusting and replacing belts, swapping out the occasional fuel pump. Quick, easy things he could do without needing a rack or a lot of other heavy and expensive equipment. The old biddies in the neighborhood would call code enforcement every time they saw a car in his driveway. It didn’t matter whether any codes, it was the constant harassment that mattered. As a result, they’ve eliminated his sole source of income.

The poor guy was sitting over there quite literally starving to death. When Kat found out he had nothing in his refrigerator, we had no choice but to act. Kat’s good about that. While I was watching people parading around in costumes that retail for more than most people make in a month, she ran to the store and made sure our neighbor had enough food to get him through the next few weeks. We have to watch out for each other like that.

Turn The Lights Out When You Leave

There was a full-size tractor-trailer going out of the neighborhood this morning. Talk about zoning violations. It wasn’t a moving truck, either, which would be the one logical explanation. The dog and I heard a lot of banging and clanging while we were on our walk this morning. I’m assuming it was whoever was loading that truck. Perhaps they were disassembling their meth lab and moving it. If so, good riddance.

There’s also a school bus that goes through picking up kids at 6:00 AM. I don’t get it. That’s too damn early for children to be up.

I just started the third pot of coffee brewing. It really shouldn’t take me so long to write these articles, but it does. Between the dog snatching popsicle sticks, cats leaping around the room, and trying to get the kids to school completely dressed, I don’t get to write too many words at once. I’m fortunate if I make it through a sentence without being interrupted.

I’m still pissed at how few people read yesterday’s article. I worked really hard on that, dammit.

Sigh. There are more fashion shows to cover this morning. If I get a break from that, there are pictures to edit. There is no such thing as down time around here. In fact, we’ve been keeping track and there’s typically only about an hour a day, between 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning, when no one is up and busy. One hour.

No wonder we burn through so many lightbulbs.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Oh, and did you know there are people who make eight figures off YouTube? None of them are over 50. Sigh.

Current Issues / PotD

A Moment Of Silence Is Not What We Need

September 11, 2016

Once you permit those who are convinced of their own superior rightness to censor and silence and suppress those who hold contrary opinions, just at that moment the citadel has been surrendered. —Archibald MacLeish

The 2,753 people who died on this date do not benefit from our silence. We honor those who died by speaking out.

My youngest son, the 18-year-old, was only three when this date became noteworthy. He doesn’t have any real memory of that day. His mother had taken him to a play date and was unaware of what was happening. I called her after the first plane hit and told her she should probably grab the little guy and head home just to be safe, away from downtown Atlanta. I was stuck at the convention center, my car unretrievable from the CNN Center where I had parked. He has no memory of how tight I held him and his brothers that night. Neither is he able to understand just how frightened we all were in that moment.

For all the controversies about who knew what when and what actions were taken, the numbers from that day are concrete: 2,753 died. 1,402 were employees in tower one. 614 were employees in tower two. 115 nations were represented among the dead, not just Americans. Only 291 bodies were found “intact.” Fires continued to burn for nearly 100 days afterward. Approximately 3,051 children lost a parent.

Other numbers are important, too. 12, 962 civil rights complaints were opened at the Council on American-Islamic Relations nationwide from 2002 to 2008. The average benefit received by each NYPD and FDNY widow was $1 million, but some families of World Trade Center employees received less than $50,000. An estimated $600 million was spent on the cleanup, not including subway repairs that cost over $7 billion and an additional $970 million spent by FEMA.

Blindsided By Fear

Twenty-six days later, the US started bombing Afghanistan. 2,343 US troops died in Operation Enduring Freedom. Fear gripped the nation in ways not imagined by anyone since World War II. An estimated 1.4 million people changed their travel plans for that holiday season, choosing to drive rather than fly. Applications to the CIA jumped a full 50 percent. Over 400,000 people still suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. What happened on this date shook us to our very core. Our collective response was to have a moment of silence, not as much out of respect as because we didn’t know what to say.

The problem is that scared people don’t always think rationally. Fear motivates us to do things that are unreasonable. We freeze when logic says to move. When we do move, we tend to turn in directions that ultimately put us in even greater danger. Acting on fear rarely works out to anyone’s advantage. That is why horror movies tend to have such a high body count. Fear makes us stupid.

Even worse, the fear turned us on each other. We started looking sideways at everyone. We enacted legislation that changed how we travel, how we come and go between countries, and even who can get a job. None of those things have proven to make us any safer, but we are still so scared fifteen years later that the majority of Americans oppose any kind of roll-back of post-9/11 laws. We have latched on to fear and refuse to let go.

Our Own Worst Enemy

Over the past fifteen years, we have allowed fear to turn us upon ourselves and upon humanity. We have tried to close our borders and when we were not able to do so we started hard-core discrimination against anyone who talks with an accent we find strange or looks remotely foreign. Every September 11, we have these moments of silence and the start yelling at each other about who is more American.

Since 2001, we have become more racially divided than we’ve been in 150 years. Blacks distrust whites (with good reason), Latinos distrust blacks, and anyone who looks to be of Middle Eastern decent had best be wearing body armor. Incidents of white privilege are more obvious than ever, but anyone who dares to say anything is bullied into silence. When a political party says that they’re going to “Make America Great Again,” what they’re saying is they want to make the US more white-centric, more pandering to the religious right, and basing even more of our actions on fear.

We have done more damage to our own country in the past 15 years than those three airplanes ever could. Our backs have been turned on the poor, the uneducated, the homeless. and even the veterans of Operation Enduring Freedom. We have become more selfish, more self-centered, and amazingly more intolerant of everyone who is not us. Together, we have torn our country limb from limb until all that remains are pieces. Millions of individual pieces too scared to consider doing anything cohesive.

Not A Time For Silence

Hundreds of thousands of people will take time today to observe a moment of silence. Even New York Fashion Week is observing a moment of silence. Who does that really benefit, though? Silence does not honor the dead if our actions on either side of that silence are committed to taking the lessons of that moment 15 years ago and improving. Unfortunately, we have been cowering in fear rather than learning anything. We don’t need silence, we need action.

We need people like Colin Kaepernick and Brandon Marshall who are willing to make some noise over continued racial injustice.

We need people who stand up and make noise, even in the face of tear gas and dog attacks, to stop oil companies from desecrating native tribal lands.

We need people who fight for the right of women who are never “asking for it,” who should always have complete control over what they do with their bodies, and whose rights have been stopped on by old white men for centuries.

We need people who refuse to be quiet about the economic injustice that leaves children without food and families without shelter for the winter.

We need people who yell, scream, and throw fits over the deplorable conditions of the American healthcare system.

We need people willing to go to the mat for veterans of our too-many wars, especially in regard to long-term mental health care.

We need people who are not silent in the face of illiteracy, discriminatory voting regulations, college debt, religious intolerance, our continuing rape culture, and elder abuse.

Mind you, every last one of these things existed prior to 9/11/2001. What has happened in the past 15 years, though, is we let the fear that consumed us on that day to force us into silence. In that silence of fear, we let these problems become worse. In some cases, we deliberately made them worse.

We don’t need any more moments of silence. If we are going to honor those who died 15 years ago, we need moments of action.

And that action is going to make some noise.

(statistics courtesy New York Magazine)

Fashion / Fashion Review / PotD

When The Circus Comes To Town

September 8, 2016

Sometimes I think God wants there to be a circus so we can show there’s another way to respond. —Tony Dungy

The circus that is NYFW got off to a chaotic and often confusing start yesterday

We knew that this season of fashion weeks was going to be a bit of a circus. With everyone changing which season they were showing and how they were showing it was inevitable that there would be some confusion and chaos. What we couldn’t know was exactly how that confusion and chaos would take shape and who would end up being the clowns in this circus and who would be the lion tamers. While events don’t officially start until today, yesterday gave us a pretty good preview of what we can expect.

Is This A Fashion Show?

There is a lot of experimentation going on this season. Many people feel that the traditional runway setup just doesn’t connect the way it needs to. As a result, we found ourselves looking at some things that we weren’t quite sure were an improvement. At least with a traditional runway, there’s no question as to what is happening. Models + clothes + runway = fashion show. Taking away the runway doesn’t seem like it would be that big a different to the total equation, but it turns out that maybe we need that element a little more than we thought.

Two examples spring to mind. Rachel Comey presented her 15-year anniversary collection yesterday morning. She wanted to give us a back-to-my-roots kind of feeling, so she staged her show right out on the sidewalk. Not kidding. There was a FedEx van in the background of most the runway shots I saw. Guests were seated in white folding chairs perched between doorways and around scaffolding. This left models just enough room to walk carefully in front of them. The only problem is that Comey’s every-day-woman style left passers-by wondering what was going on. Was this a fashion show or just a rehearsal? It was also difficult to tell where the fashion show left off and normal well-dressed pedestrians began.

Another example would be Misha Nonoo‘s Snapchat-exclusive presentation. The show was presented through Refinery 29’s Snapchat account, which was probably chosen for its high number of followers. However, the pieces of Nonoo’s collection were posted separately and at various times throughout the day. I don’t normally keep Snapchat up and running all day. Every time I looked at a new segment I wondered if I was seeing everything or missing a snap. The drawings on top of the photos were distracting as well.

Poof, The Stream Is Gone

Labels that show before the official start of fashion week have to handle all the elements of that presentation themselves. This includes any live streaming they might wish to attempt. Recent changes in Facebook’s Live option led a couple of yesterday’s designers to give that a try rather than paying for real cameras and stuff. I can be rather sympathetic to some degree. Professional live streaming is incredibly expensive, especially when more than one camera is involved. Being able to eliminate that cost helps keep the budget a little bit lower.

However, it also makes the streaming much less predictable. None of the Facebook streams we were watching started on time. In fact, not all of them ever started. Twice we waited, and waited, and waited over an hour before finally giving up. The one we did see was very poor quality, broadcast from an intern’s phone we’re guessing, and then mysteriously disappeared in the middle of the presentation. Perhaps the phone ran out of battery.

Streaming has never been the most reliable technology. A lot can go wrong under the best of circumstances. Trying to short-cut the process doesn’t seem to generate positive results.

They’re Doing WHAT On Roosevelt Island?

I’m going to have to choose my words carefully here because I have a filter on my browser that blocks any mention of a certain pseudo-celebrity family that I find particularly annoying. Unfortunately, one of the loud-mouthed members of that family fancies himself a designer. He’s not, really. This is where the circus just gets ugly. It’s only the family’s disturbingly close relationship with Vogue’s Anna Wintour that continues to provide them with any major attention. Everyone else stays as far away from the cluster fuck as possible. Nonetheless, he presented what he is calling Season 4 right smack out in the middle of Roosevelt Island.

Wait, Roosevelt Island? You mean that largely-forgotten strip of land in the middle of the East River? Yep, that Roosevelt Island. The one that was never meant to accommodate too terribly many people because it’s only 800 feet wide and its most broad point. The one that contains a tribute to FDR, for whom the island is named, at the South end. There’s barely room to stage a picnic on Roosevelt Island, let alone a fashion show.

They tried. It sucked. From models having to remove their shoes to walk to guests arriving after the presentation, the whole thing was one giant failure. Again. We keep hoping the so-called designer will stop. No one needs that many different shades of tan.

A Safe Place To Hide

We tend to think of a circus as being a spectacle that no one can miss. However, a circus can also be a good place to hide. While everyone else is watching the clowns, one can go off and do their own thing without anyone else noticing. Or, perhaps disappear without anyone noticing.

When Wednesday’s schedule first came out, Herve Leger by Max Azria was scheduled for that afternoon. Some time Wednesday morning, however, that entry disappeared. We checked both the brand’s Facebook page and their website and there’s no mention of the show’s cancellation. There’s no mention of the show at all.

This made us curious so we started looking for Azria’s major label: BCBG. Nope, that’s not on the schedule for this season, either. Anywhere. Both are gone. This raises our suspicions a bit. While everyone knows that Max’s wife, Lubov, has done most the creative work the past several seasons, Azria has still kept his hands on the reigns. Could the 67-year-old designer be in ill health, or could all the chaos of this season have forced the labels to take a step back and wait? There are also reports of clothing orders placed on the website being cancelled without explanation.

Perhaps there’s a dark side to this circus.

Grab The Popcorn

No matter what the problems, a circus always manages to be entertaining and this one is no different. We’ve already posted our first review of last night’s Tom Ford presentation on Pattern. There is a lot more to come. Remember, Tommy Hilfiger is staging an actual carnival on Friday night. This may be the craziest circus we’ve ever seen. Grab your popcorn and enjoy the show.

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Page 9 of 17

awareness

I feel more confident if my makeup looks good. —Ellie Goulding

Biases Start Early

All About The Makeup

Building A Better World

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Dads do a lot of things with their kids, but in some places, the biggest challenge of all is changing a diaper.

Hello, Babies Act

Not Everyone Understands

Everyone Benefits

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Sexual assault is not a prize or a victory; neither is it something to be bragged about even if it didn’t actually happen.

Being Macho Is Nothing To Brag About

Bad Excuses For Bad Behavior

Sexual Assault Is Not A Joking Matter

We Know Better

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Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. —Mahatma Gandhi

America, The Happy

Our Entitlement Philosophy

Creating A Happy Culture

The Curse of Mindful Empowerment

Going About This The Wrong Way

Perhaps Happy Isn’t What We Need

Philippians 4:11-13New International Version (NIV)

We Are Not Cocoons

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I’m very driven by what I do. I am certainly very competitive. I like people who represent the best at what they do, and if that turns you into a perfectionist, then maybe I am. —Anna Wintour

Dressing To Be Seen

Taking Competition To The Next Level

How We Score

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Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. —Oscar Wilde

Mistakes We Could Make

Mistakes We Should Make

Perfection Doesn’t Happen

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Regrets? I think everyone has regrets, and people who say they haven’t are either liars… or narcissists. —Lee Radziwill

Regrets Are Different From Mistakes

Facing A Harsh Reality

Escaping The Chains

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You don’t have to have a hard-on to bungee jump.—Andrew in Humpday (2009)

A Little Bit Of Day Music

A Little Light Reading

A Little Light Exercise

We Can Do This

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No one has ever found a solution for not doing a fashion show. —Anna Sui

Fashion Is Art

Fashion Is Critical To The Economy

Fashion Is Culture

Looking To The Future

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Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance. —Plato

Knowing Which Opinion To Trust

When An Opinion Really Matters

Listening To The Chorus

We Don’t Know Much

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It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning wondering what my intuition will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea. I work with it and rely on it. It’s my partner. —Jonas Salk

There Goes The Neighborhood

Arnold Palmer Died, So Did Golf

Good-bye Wonder Woman Fantasies

Time To Move On

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There’s not a single business model, and there’s not a single type of electronic content. There are really a lot of opportunities and a lot of options and we just have to discover all of them. —Tim O’Reilly

Open Up Your Archives

Manage Your Social Media