A lot of snow is not required for lives to be endangered. Temperatures keep us huddled next to anything or anyone who is warm. Apologies were necessary as staples ordered while the sun was shining had to be delivered in negative conditions. Questions linger this morning with the possibility that buses will not deliver the kids to school on time.
While sitting in a waiting room, my coat and hat still in place, a man approached, distracted by my appearance. Standing before me, he said, “I just wanted to get a good look at you.” He took a seat nearby and continued. “Your look, it’s … what’s the word… ‘legendary?’ No, more like… ‘iconic.’ That’s it, you’re totally iconic.” A nurse called his name as I questioned the man’s mental condition. What are the motives behind compliments to strangers? Politics have taught us to question the subtext of the most simple and generous statements. Kind words are approached with suspicion. Our level of trust in fellow humans grows thin.
Actions speak volumes above words. Where one goes, what one does, shows more than character. What is one’s purpose? What motivates a soul to put their interests above others? Words can be a distraction. Actions tell no lies. Threats of what one might do are empty. Look instead at the steps they take, the people they hold close, and the rules they break. Do not stand so close as to become a victim of the shrapnel from other people’s lives.
Still, the words we choose are a reflection of our society. ‘Brain rot’ has become something more than a medical issue. Such language threatens to become a tool of racism. Vocabularies such as demure, slop, dynamic pricing, romantasy, and lore shape the context of who we are, the values we hold, and how one perceives their world. I question whether we weigh the weight of our words before we speak. Even when we fling terms and threats around with no regard, they can still cause damage when they land.
So many thoughts are filling my brain, yet few are worth the pain of typing. Time passes. Whether the page is made of paper or pixels, I still stare at the blankness and question how to fill it. Sometimes life is the same. How one chooses to fill the blank pages of their lives reveals their reality and the flaws of their mortality.
Sitting on my desk is a book I’ve yet to start that ultimately deals with the reality of the author’s death. I pick it up, open the cover, and then return it to the place on my desk from where it beckons to be read. Do I want to open myself to this conversation? Will pondering mortality shape my future reality?
There are cats demanding petting. There are meds waiting to be taken. There are naps hoping to be embraced. I do not care if the snow melts. I am here. I am warm. I do not long to wander.
Wednesday Morning Update: 12/04/24
Today is a good day to find your emotionally safe place and stay there. Much of the news one is likely to encounter may be negative, and even frightening. Not everything directly affects you, but what does can cause us to feel threatened or frightened for those we love. What we see is that the entire world is in tumult right now. Even those who had considered fleeing trouble at home are now pondering the ramifications of returning. Is there anyone whose life is stable? Can one quell this rising angst?
Today is an important surgery day for my younger brother, Victor. He has a Full Thickness Muscular Hole in his right eye. The surgery won’t “fix” the problem but will hopefully keep it from getting any worse. Post-op requires remaining face-down for some period of time. Appropriate furniture for facilitating this need arrived last week. His long-suffering wife, Martha, will do her best to care for him, but this will not be an easy moment for either of them. Vision lost may never return. Our hopes are for a successful and uneventful surgery.
Life comes with threats and risks; some we control while others control us. Even something seemingly as inconsequential as walking around barefoot may cause us trouble. I would remind you that you have already overcome many obstacles that seemed insurmountable at the moment they were encountered. Learning to roll over in your crib was monumental, as was learning to crawl and then walk. Slowly, you learned to speak, to communicate, and then to use your words as a defense against things you did not like. You went to school and survived maneuvering social situations whose etiquette and instruction only seemed to come after having already done something wrong. You studied subjects that seemed to make no sense. You passed tests that threatened to defeat you. Life is partially defined by the things that threaten us the most. Yet, here you are, still breathing, still fighting, and still doing your best.
Remember, this is December. Of all the arguments made for and against this or that, few decisions will be voiced. Resist the urge to borrow trouble from the future, for that trouble may well decide to withdraw itself from consideration. Being ready to defend does not require keeping one’s finger on the trigger. Those who are wise know to rest, to eat well, and to enjoy time with the things you love. Save the fight for when it is needed for those who tilt too often at windmills are not ready when the real enemy is revealed.
May you find comfort to ease your pain. May you have coffee to keep you warm. May your day be filled with the embrace of those who love you.
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