Pretty Flowers (2014)

I love to wear lingerie. The problem is that men always rip it off too quickly. When women are dolled up in lingerie they feel sexy. So let us wear it for five minutes. –Karen McDougal

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]I think the lingerie industry should make Madonna its patron saint. Seriously. Up until the pop singer burst onto the scene in the early 80s, bras were boring, for the most part, and certainly never seen in public. In fact, women would go to great extremes to prevent even the straps of bras from showing. I can remember my mother using tape on a blouse whose shoulder straps were just the tiniest bit narrow enough that, should she move the right direction, a bra strap might be visible. After Madonna, though, anything goes and one can pretty much get away with wearing their underwear right down the middle of the street without anyone saying too terribly much.

The down side to such public exposure, of course, is that much of the mystery has been lost. I can remember as a teen when seeing a girl in her bra was almost as good as making it to second base. Almost. There was a curiosity held beneath those heavily padded B cups that we all were desperate to glimpse and maybe even feel. That curiosity is what drove us, what kept us pursuing the young women for whom we so desperately longed. The fact that we didn’t know had me, and most adolescent boys, ready to volunteer for whatever expedition might lead us to that secret treasure so firmly encapsulated in those gentle domes of foam rubber.

Today, however, there are many times where the only remaining question is, “Are those real or does she have a very good surgeon?” As lingerie has moved from being strictly a foundation garment, bras especially have gained a great deal of transparency and many fashion designers have decided that the bra is a suitable substitute for those silly, cumbersome blouses that clog a woman’s closet. After all, why hint when one can make a bold statement? Take charge. Be the master of your sexuality. They’re going to stare at your chest anyway, so give them a damn good reason to do so. [/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]Modern bras can get rather expensive. Victoria’s Secret displays some on their annual shows that are worth over two million dollars. Sure, they’re pretty, but in many ways it’s wrapping on a present you’ll never be able to open; window dressing, if you will, for a store in which you’ll never be able to shop.  I’m not personally drawn to such displays of ostentation, but I’m sure there are plenty of people who are. Certainly, those are the type of bras over which one would be silly to wear anything, no matter whose name was on the label.

Most women have a collection from which they can choose, and I’ve come across a few who needed entire rooms to house their lingerie collections. There are days when one just feels like having satin next to their skin. If going out with someone who seems a bit shy about making the next move, then perhaps a little bit of lace beneath a blouse that can’t help but show it off is in order. Then, there are the days when it’s sweats and that old thing that looks as ugly as sin but does a good enough job of holding “the girls” in place while you’re feeling less than pretty. There’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all bra and neither is there a single bra that works for every occasion. Lingerie just doesn’t work that way.

I never have seen anyone who would wear bras as dramatic as Madonna’s for any reason other than a costume party or photo shoot. In fact, some of Madonna’s bras would probably be a liability if one were to actually attempt wearing them in public. While bras are not the great sexual secret they once were, they still do a very good job of capturing our attention and making us all want to see what’s underneath. Sorry, dear bra, you’re about to hit the floor. Nothing personal. Good night.[/one_half_last]