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We survived the Ides of March without any Roman emperors being assassinated. To me, that sounds like a wasted opportunity. If we’re going to recognize the day, we should do so with parades and parties where the stabbing of politicians is the main event. This would take a lot of pressure off the electoral process and give those in elected office the incentive to behave in such a manner that they need not fear a group of people, particularly close friends, heading toward them with knives.
For the first time in several years, it looks as though we’re not having corned beef for St. Patrick’s Day. The meat has gotten too expensive for anyone who is not a politician to consume. Politicians and corned beef have a lot in common. Both contain a lot of fat, are greasy to the touch, and are best when a knife is stuck in them. I wonder how many people would attend a party where the corned beef was labeled as Roast Republican?
We will have potatoes in some form on St. Patrick’s Day. We won’t have dug them ourselves, though. We’ll have paid immigrants to do that. You know, like we did the Irish in the 1840s. During that decade, Irish people, both documented and undocumented, made up over half of all immigrants to the US. They were given only the toughest jobs to do and then told to go fight the Mexicans. Nothing’s changed.
Funny, I haven’t heard a thing about today’s St. Pat’s parade in downtown Indy. They moved it to today so that it wouldn’t interfere with the hangover mass on Sunday. This is a special mass because the incense smells like corned beef and cabbage. They do this so you can’t tell which priest was brawling at the bar all night.
Perhaps leprechauns were the original social services gatekeepers: they both sit on a pot of gold and don’t want to share with anyone.
As a person of indigenous heritage, I don’t necessarily hate immigrants of European heritage. I simply think they need to be reminded that they stole the land, the jobs, and the economy long before those coming over the Southern border did. Perhaps we should have electrified the Atlantic Ocean or something in the 16th century.