How can people not tell the difference?
I am not an athlete. One look at me pretty much lets one know that. Not that I didn’t try, though. All through Jr. High I did my best to fit it. I tried ’em all: football, baseball, and basketball. One coach even let me on the basketball team in eighth grade. I played for the last three minutes of one game where we were already losing by 18 points. Other than that, I did my best to be encouraging from the bench. Because of my experience, however, I have an incredible amount of respect for those whose eye-hand coordination is sufficient to allow them to be successful at a sport or two.
When I got older, I tried my hand at some other sports that weren’t quite as dangerous, such as tennis and racquetball. Uhm, did I say they weren’t dangerous? That would be an error. One of my worst sprains ever came from diving across a racquetball court and missing the damn ball. It was fantastic exercise, mind you, but I was repeatedly covered in bruises and spraining something, which probably contributes to the arthritis pain I have now.
Sports are wonderful. I can sit and watch football for as long as the chips and beer hold out. I can watch baseball live if there are plenty of hot dogs, and I can sometimes even tolerate an NBA game as long as 1. I didn’t pay for the seats, 2. We start drinking upon arrival, and 3. I don’t have to drive home, ‘cuz I’m not going to be sober by the time we hit the fourth period. I have absolutely no axe to grind with sports in general. I’ve even been out on the golf course and am pretty sure the solution to doing well is taking four or five Xanax before hitting the course. Although, that probably violates some rule about athletics and drugs.
So, given that sports are sports and involve getting all sweaty and worked up and physical in one way or another, I am totally perplexed why entire athletic organizations would get so freaking upset by being told that they’re not arts. What the literal fuck? How can anyone in their right mind even begin to put the arts and sports in the same basket? Why would you even want to try? They are both two very distinct and different things with two dramatically different purposes. Why are we even having this conversation?
Blame Meryl Streep.
Here’s What Happened
When I wake up each morning, one of the first things I do is check to see what’s trending on Twitter. I try to prepare for our 5 Things You Should Know article before I go to bed each night, but there’s always the chance something can happen while I’m sleeping. I went to bed Sunday night before the Golden Globes because, 1. we had been up 17 hours already and was exhausted, and 2., find awards shows to generally be a complete waste of time. Monday morning, however, I get up to see that not only is #GoldenGlobes trending, so is #SportsAreNotArt and #MerylStreepForPresident. That was my first clue that something of reasonable significance had taken place.
Sure enough, it didn’t take long to discover that Ms. Streep had pretty much eviscerated the president-elect, who deserves every last bit of the condemnation heaped on him last night. That was a big story in of itself. What was getting just as much attention, at least on Twitter, was when Ms. Streep had said that football and MMA are not art.
Oh. My God. You would have thought that Ms. Streep had plunged a dagger into the very heart of the planet and that we all were about to die. The President of MMA even wrote and posted a huge ass response trying to convince Ms. Streep and the rest of the world that there is something remotely artistic about two people stepping into the ring and proceeding to pummel each other to the point of concussion and, most likely, permanent brain damage. Yeah, some people apparently think that there’s an art to bleeding.
Now, before we go too much further, we should take a look at Ms. Streep’s words in context. So, here’s a larger version of what she actually said:
I was born and raised and educated in the public schools of New Jersey. Viola [Davis] was born in a sharecropper’s cabin in South Carolina, came up in Central Falls, Rhode Island. Sarah Paulson was born in Florida, raised by a single mom in Brooklyn. Sarah Jessica Parker was one of seven or eight kids from Ohio. Amy Adams was born in Vicenza, Veneto, Italy. And Natalie Portman was born in Jerusalem. Where are their birth certificates?
And the beautiful Ruth Negga was born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, raised in — no, in Ireland, I do believe. And she’s here nominated for playing a small-town girl from Virginia. Ryan Gosling, like all the nicest people, is Canadian. And Dev Patel was born in Kenya, raised in London, is here for playing an Indian raised in Tasmania.
So Hollywood is crawling with outsiders and foreigners. And if we kick ’em all out, you’ll have nothing to watch but football and mixed martial arts, which are not the arts. They gave me three seconds to say this, so. An actor’s only job is to enter the lives of people who are different from us and let you feel what that feels like. And there were many, many, many powerful performances this year that did exactly that — breathtaking, passionate work.
The longer point Ms. Streep would go on to make is how the president-elect continually demonstrates a lack of regard for anyone who is not white and rich and that the press needs to habitually call him out on his nonsense. Like the opinion or not, Ms. Streep has a right to it and since she had the platform to make that opinion heard she had every right to take advantage of that situation.
What she said about football and mixed martial arts not being the arts, however, is correct. They’re not the arts. They never have been and they never can be in their current forms. Moreover, we really don’t want to think of them as art. To put athletics into the art basket would require fundamentally changing their reason for existing. We wouldn’t like most sports if they concentrated on being artistic. We want them to be the physical display of training and skill in a competitive format that they are. We like them that way.
So, what’s the difference, really?
The MMA world seems to be much more upset about Ms. Streep’s remarks than is anyone in the NFL. Bellator CEO Scott Coker even took the time to write and tweet a response which says in part:
Please be my guest at the LA Forum on January 21st and you will see that Mixed Martial Arts is truly artistic – which will feature fighters from all over the world competing at a world class level.
Now, in case you’re not a huge MMA fan, which I am not, we looked up the event scheduled for the LA Forum on January 21. The multi-bout card includes the following people beating the living hell out of each other: Tito Ortiz and Chael Sonnen, Georgi Karakhanyan against Emmanuel Sanchez, Paul Daley against Brennan Ward, and Ralek Gracie against Hisaki Kato. The event is broadcast free on the SPIKE cable network. All the young men on the card are big, tough, and athletic. I’m sure they will all give their best in the ring. Those who enjoy watching this type of competition will be thrilled. However, not a damn thing about this event is going to be artistic except, possibly, the singing of the national anthem.
Why? Because sports are not arts. In case you were sleeping during your humanities class, or completely skipped out that semester, the are five basic arts: painting, sculpture, architecture, music and poetry. Those have existed since the beginning of time and deserve to be respected as such. As society developed, somewhere along about 3,000 BCE, theatre and dance were added to the list. As part of that gradual progression and the development of technology, film was added as an extension of the theatre. Photography, video production/editing, design, sequential art, conceptual art, and printmaking have been added as an extension of painting. Arts related to painting, sculpture, and architecture as generally classified as visual arts while those related to music, dance, and theatre as classified as performing arts.
Now, please, take a close look. Do you see anything in that list that looks like a competitive sport? Granted, dancing is extremely athletic, which probably explains why I suck at that, too. Still, a dance performance isn’t a competition like a sport is. No one keeps score. There’s no audience hoping that the prima ballerina pulls a hamstring so that the understudy can win. Dance is not a sport. Sport is not an art.
While I could spend hours nit-picking all the minute details that hold arts apart from sport, the primary difference is that one is a competitive exhibition whose purpose is to determine a definite winner while the other is a presentation for the visual and visceral pleasures of its audience over that of those creating. Athletes want to win, to beat their competition. Artists want only to please an audience in some form or fashion. There’s no contest. In the case of visual arts such as painting, sculpture, and architecture, there’s not even an end point so long as the works still exist. They can go on and deliver pleasure and expression for centuries provided they are given appropriate care.
To be art the work has to attempt some significance outside itself, either through its impact on society and culture or to the greater art itself. There must be an aesthetic element to the work and contain an element of emotion that varies from artist to artist and work to work. Art requires no participation of anyone outside the artist and yet is fulfilled in its exhibition. If one is an Art History major, one classifies art through both form and function. Art requires a unique creative act whose interpretation is variable by either the performer or the audience, and sometimes both.
I suppose, if one really stretches the definitions, one might claim that some sports figures are artistic in their work, but then we still come back to the fact that sport must, inherently, be competitive. Sport is a contest; there is a constant adversary. The fundamental of success in sports is that one follows the rules for their function within their sport or one is disqualified and penalized. Even in a sport seemingly as benign as golf, one must still exhibit some form of aggression against that stupid little ball if one hopes to ever win. None of those things are appropriate for art.
And none of this explains why anyone would bother to be upset that the two are distinct and separate entities. I don’t recall ever seeing anyone trying to turn art into a sport. Most artists I know would bristle at the very idea. So why would a sport try to portray itself as an art? What is the purpose of such an attempt? Are athletes feeling left out that, despite their million dollar salaries, they’re somehow left out or cheated by being portrayed as artists? If football players want to feel more like real artists, then perhaps they could start by attempting to get by on one-tenth their current salaries; that would still have them being paid more than most artists. I simply cannot imagine why anyone in sports would be offended by Ms. Streep’s comment.
The only thing I can surmise is that the athletes who are upset are simply jealous that there’s an arena from which they are excluded, which is interesting since I’ve known multiple athletes who were also wonderful artists in genres that are actually art. It’s not that the person can’t be an artist, but more that the sport itself isn’t art.
Sports are sport, and they’re a lot of fun and have an important place in our society. The arts are art, and they’re a lot of fun and have an important place in our society. Yet, art and sport as distinct, separate entities occupying different spaces that have no need to overlap. Together, with other fields such as science and math, and philosophy and literature, they make our world a very wonderful place to be. We don’t all need to occupy the same space. Be cool with what you are and let others be what they are and we’ll all get along much better.
10 Reasons 2016 Sucked
Anyone who says otherwise is a complete moron
For the past 365 days we have suffered through a hellacious year. 2016 hasn’t been fun. 2016 hasn’t given the world a reason to cheer. 2016 has sucked from one end to the other. Period. Every morning I come in, look at the headlines, and immediately want to go back to bed, hoping it’s all a dream. A nightmare. I’m ready to wake up anytime, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. We’re stuck with this stupid year.
Is this the worst year ever? Well, no, not if one counts all the hundreds of years where some sort of plague was running rampant, or the dark ages, or pretty much any year prior to 1790 when the Industrial Revolution finally got around to making our lives just a little bit better. This wasn’t any 1929, either. The vast majority of us have jobs and some of them even pay a decent living wage, or come close. We don’t have the spending power we once did, but we’re still finding ways to keep a roof over our heads and those of us in the US are still putting way too much food in our bellies. So, you have that if you really want to embrace it.
Still, just because all of history pretty much sucked before our great-great-grandparents started doing some cool shit doesn’t mean that this wasn’t a bad year. This was a bad year and I don’t mind taking a few minutes out of my day to make sure you understand just exactly why this was a bad year. This year is a warning. We can turn ourselves around now, or things can get worse in 2017. And 2018. And the foreseeable future. We need to learn from this year before it’s 1837 all over again. Trust me, you don’t want to mess with 1837. The only thing good about 1837 was Worcestershire sauce.
So, here, in no particular order, are ten damn good reasons that 2016 sucked. You are free to disagree, but if you do we’re locking you away where you can’t hurt intelligent people.
International Issues
The Rio Olympics
Talk about a cluster fuck. Even before the games started we knew this was going to be a bad one. Venues were incomplete. The water where athletes were supposed to swim was littered with trash. Corruption was rampant at every conceivable level of the games, including within the IOC itself. Russian athletes were prevented from participating because of a doping scandal and a number of athletes refused to participate because of the threat of the Zika virus. Then, just to give the games a WTF label, there was Ryan Lochte pretending to get robbed when he was the one being a punk. The world would be better off had these games never happened.
The Refugee Crisis
21 million people. Stop and think about that for a moment. TWENTY-ONE MILLION PEOPLE. That’s how many refugees have left war-torn countries across Europe and Africa looking for a place where they could live peacefully without someone trying to blow their heads off just for existing. They flooded into Europe for the most part, creating crisis there because not only was there an incredible strain on already strained resources, but because terrorists hid in their midst, causing many people to not want to help people with extreme and genuine need. This was a humanitarian crisis unlike anything we’ve seen in the past 60 years and for the most part, the majority of us sat on our fucking hands.
Syria
Far too many of those refugees came from Syria, where the government military of President Assad battled with a number of different rebel groups for control of the country. The entire country has been devastated by the war, but the worst atrocities came in the city of Aleppo, what had once been Syria’s largest city. The world watched in horror as the entire city was reduced to nothing but rubble. An untold number of civilians, especially children, were killed by barrel bombs employed by government forces. There was no relief until the city was completely empty, a mere shell of its former self. Making this tragedy worse was the failure of the US and its allies to successfully intervene. Blame bad policy and an unreasonable fear of pissing off other stupid little Middle Eastern dictators.
Venezuelan Food Shortages
Americans have really enjoyed lower gas prices this year, but the low price of oil has a human toll. As oil prices sunk, the country of Venezuela went further and further into crisis. By May, there were long lines for food, assuming you could find a store that actually had anything edible in stock. By the end of summer, most food was gone and even staples such as bread and dairy products were nearly impossible to find. As the country’s economy collapsed, creating corruption involving bank notes, the government made a bad situation worse by changing currency in November, making old money worthless. A warehouse full of 4 million toys was found in early December, but it’s still hard to have a happy Christmas when you don’t even have enough food to make a sandwich.
Brexit
For all the really incredible displays of stupidity, voters in the UK set an early score to beat when they voted to leave the European Union. Political analysts around the world were stunned. While the topic had been a matter of discussion for over a year, no one in their right mind thought the numbskulls would actually vote to separate themselves from the EU. Not that it’s actually happened yet. Politicians there have spent the rest of the year trying to decide whether a full separation is actually possible (they’re still unsure) and if so, how to actually make it happen without creating a full-scale economic disaster. Most people thought that this would be the biggest political disaster of the year. Unfortunately, the US took it as a challenge.
Domestic Disaster
A country without drinking water
The water crisis in Flint, Michigan actually began in late 2015, but it came to a head in early 2016 with the city being declared one giant fucking disaster area in January. Both state and federal politicians then proceeded to spend most of the rest of the year arguing about who to blame. Here we are at the end of the year and there are still large populations within Flint that, at the very least, have to boil their water. Many are still having to use bottled water. Several politicians, including the mayor of Flint and the governor of Michigan, have been indicted for corruption, but the people most directly affected are still suffering. Worse yet, the problems are spreading as the national infrastructure of lead water pipes is crumbling.
Standing Rock standoff
Oil. Our dependency on fossil fuels has become a national disgrace, one which spineless politicians refuse to address because of the number of jobs associated with the inefficient and quickly depleting fuel system. Since we can’t produce enough oil to cover domestic requirements, we have to bring it in through any means available, including pipelines. Pipelines that leak. They always have. They habitually create environmental problems everywhere they are laid.
So, when yet another greedy oil company wanted to run a stretch of pipeline across an area that would have contaminated the water supply for native tribes living there, they said, “Hell, no.” As word spread of the tribe’s protest, others joined the cause. The protests were peaceful, but police still decided they needed to fight back with attack dogs and water canons. For now, the matter is calm as the Corp of Engineers refused the pipeline company’s request for easement. However, there is tremendous fear that the oil companies will try again once the new president is installed.
Pulse Nightclub shooting
We have wrestled long and hard with tremendous amounts of hate across this country both toward people of color and people of varying gender identities. There have been random acts of violence scattered all across the country this year, but none were so horrific as the events at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando on the night of June 12. That was the night Omar Mateen, a 29-year-old security guard, killed 49 people and wounded 53 others. The particular details of what motivated him and whether he pledged allegiance to some terrorist group are irrelevant at this juncture. Hate was at the root of the problem, as it has been at every other racial and/or gender-identity-motivated crime in the country.
This one makes me particularly nervous because it inevitably carries over into the new year. One of the worst anti-LGBT politicians in the country is now Vice President and he markets in hate as though it were a valuable commodity. Already there are those trying to sweep the tragedy of the Pulse Nightclub under the rugs. This is a stain not only on the year, but all of the US.
Anti-Intellectualism
We did a fantastic job of showing the world our stupid side this year. Anti-intellectualism has always been present in the undercurrent of American society. This year, however, it came to the surface and repeatedly inserted itself into public discourse with statements so astonishingly stupid that the rest of us could only shake our head and wonder how much Flint, Michigan water they were drinking. Just how bad did it get? Consider some of these quotes from this disgraceful year:
Mind you, that is just a small collection from people who’ve made the most media noise over the past year. There are MILLIONS of other quotes from equally ignorant people all over the world. I mean, stop and think about it, A full-scale replica of Noah’s Ark opened in June in order to further the mythology known as “creation science,” which actually contains little valid science at all! When it comes to matters of science and advances in intelligence, 2016 may have actually seen us move backward, that’s just how bad it’s been.
The Presidential electionOh. my. god. No, this one is so horrible I’m not even going there. Scratch this one out. If I try writing anything about this piece of insanity I’m going to throw up and miss the New Year’s Eve party.
Deaths of Notable Persons
No, contrary to popular belief, there have not been more deaths of celebrities this year than any other year. In fact, if one is looking purely at numbers, then this year was a little below average in a few categories. However, that approach is assuming that all lives are equal. Uhm, no. If I die before midnight (which I’m definitely not planning on doing), I wouldn’t make anyone’s list. In fact, I might not even make the obituary in the Indianapolis Star. However, the deaths of people we really care about, people whose contributions to our lives, people whose work directly affected who we are and shaped are personalities, is what has made this a horrible, horrible year unlike any that we remember.
Look beyond just the number of bodies. David Bowie alone is worth at least a thousand mere mortal souls. Merle Haggard? C’mon, you just can’t rank the Okie from Muskogee with all those commoners. And then, there’s Prince. Seriously, he’s a three-hour “In Memoriam” reel all on his own. The numbers themselves are irrelevant. What matters is that we lost people of note with whom we felt as though we had a connection, and we lost them one after another after another after another after another. There was no break. What started as a shock in January just kept causing us pain right up until this very last week. Everything else this year could have been sunshine and daisies and the people we lost would still leave us feeling as though we’d had our hearts collectively ripped out and stomped upon.
NOW do you understand why this year sucked so horribly? And we didn’t even get into things like automobile recalls, stupid stalking clowns, phones blowing up, Russia hacking the election, or anything else that might have been a really big story most any other year. Nope, 2016 sucked bilge water.
So, please understand if our celebration tonight is rather muted. We’re not just saying goodbye to 2016, we’re shooting it in the head and burying that fucker 30-feet deep and covering it with rebar and concrete to make sure it doesn’t rear its ugly head ever again. And we’re going to make the baby 2017 sit there and watch so it will know what happens to a year that fucks up. Little squirt better get these next twelve months right.
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