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Current Issues  /  Long Read  /  News & Comment  /  science
DON’T EAT THAT!
June 6, 2024

Waiting For Something To Matter [2006]

Finding things that are safe to eat can be difficult, especially when you’re diabetic. I’ve written about that challenge before. Not everyone was pleased with what I had to say. Over the ensuing years, I’ve gotten better and figuring out which products are safe for me to consume and which ones I absolutely, positively have to leave alone, at least most of the time. Now that my pancreas has decided to act up and not cooperate, it is even more critical that I watch what I consume. For example, I had four biscuits last night. All those carbs sent my sugar skyrocketing. I know better, but damnit, I was hungry. Staying on a low-carb, low-fat, zero-sugar diet is damn near impossible.

Amidst all those challenges, perhaps you can imagine my frustration when I came across an article from CNN with the headline: Common low-calorie sweetener linked to heart attack and stroke, study finds. Wonderful. Diabetics are dependent on those sweeteners if we’re going to eat anything other than veggies for the rest of our lives. Fortunately, there are a lot of different ones out there. If one doesn’t sit well with your body, chances are another will. For example, I can’t do Stevia as it’s used in Russel Stover’s Sugar-Free candies. I don’t know exactly what’s up, but it gives me horrible nausea if I have more than one piece. Not every product uses the sweeteners in the same way and just because one may cause issues some of the time doesn’t mean they affect everyone the same way.

But then, along comes a study that can’t be ignored and it just blows everything out of the water. The product in question? Xylitol. Xylitol is a natural sugar alcohol found in plants such as cauliflower, eggplant, lettuce, mushrooms, spinach, plums, raspberries, and strawberries. It would take tonnage of veggies to ever extract enough xylitol for industrial use. Instead, corn cobs and birch trees along with certain genetically engineered bacteria are used.

It’s natural, so that should mean it’s good for you, right? Nope. According to this most recent study, frequent users of the sweetener are likely to have twice the risk of blood clots, heart attacks, and strokes leading to death. Worse yet, it can temporarily increase your glucose level by 1,000%! At that rate, you’d be better off drinking a normal soda!

The FDA warned us back in 2021 that xylitol could be deadly for dogs. Birch sugar, specifically, is a problem for our canine friends. Since the end product is all that’s listed on product ingredient lists, we don’t have any idea whether the xylitol comes from birch or corn cobs or 50,000 pounds of cauliflower. We have to assume the worst and just stay away. Now, there are sufficient indications that humans are ill-affected as well.

The problem we’re facing is that the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) still recognizes all alcohol sugars (and there are dozens) as GRAS: Generally Recognized As Safe. While they’ll admit that this new study warrants a closer look, the way science works is that when one person/group discovers something, it has to be verified by a totally unrelated person/group to be considered valid. That validation has yet to happen.

In the meantime, you and I have a choice to make: whether to consume xylitol or not. And how do we know which products have xylitol? For starters, there’s a pretty exhaustive list at Preventative Vet. For our convenience, though, here are a few of the products you’re more likely to encounter:

  • Airheads
  • CBD mint gum
  • CVS Sugar Free Breath Strips Blue Mint
  • Dentyne gum (even regular flavors)
  • Almost anything from the Dr. John’s catalog
  • Extra® Ice – Spearmint and Peppermint
  • Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit Fruity Chews
  • Mentos (not all products, check labeling)
  • Nicorette® 
  • Orbit® – all sugar-free varieties
  • Rite Aid Pharmacy Stop Smoking Aid – Sugar-Free, Coated Gum: Cinnamon, Mint
  • Starbucks®  gum and mints
  • Tic Tac® gum – Freshmint, Spearmint, Cool Watermelon
  • Almost any flavor of Trident
  • Act Advanced Care™ Plaque Guard™ Mouthwash
    Act Braces Care™ Mouthwash
    Act Dry Mouth Lozenges
    Act Dry Mouth Mouthwash
    Act Dry Mouth Toothpaste
    Act Total Care™ Sensitive Formula Mouthwash
  • Aquafresh® – GSK  Training Flouride-Free Toothpaste
  • Oral-B® (July 23, 2021) 
    Dry Mouth Oral Rinse – Mint
    Moisturizing Lozenges – Mint, Watermelon
  • Philips Sonicare Breathrx Anti-Bacterial Mouth Rinse
  • Tom’s of Maine® (July 28, 2015 last verified April 2024)
    Activated Charcoal Anticavity Toothpaste
    Antiplaque & Whitening Toothpaste – Fluoride-Free – Fennel, Peppermint, Spearmint
    Antiplaque & Whitening Toothpaste Gel – Fluoride-Free – Spearmint
    Baking Soda, Spearmint
    Botanically Bright Whitening Toothpaste (July 23, 2021)
    Cavity Protection Toothpaste – Peppermint Baking Soda, Spearmint
    Children’s Anticavity Fluoride Rinse – Juicy Mint
    Clean & Gentle Toothpaste – Peppermint
    Enamel Strength® Toothpaste – Peppermint
    Fluoride-Free Botanically Bright™ Toothpaste – Peppermint, Spearmint
    Fluoride-Free Propolis Myrrh Toothpaste – Cinnamint, Fennel, Gingermint Baking Soda, Peppermint
    Fluoride-Free Sensitive Toothpaste – Wintermint
    Fluoride-Free Travel Natural Toothpaste – Fresh Mint
    Luminous White Anticavity Toothpaste
    Maximum Strength Sensitive Toothpaste – Soothing Mint
    Simply White Toothpaste – Clean Mint
    Simply White Toothpaste Gel – Sweet Mint
    Toddler Training Toothpaste – Mild Fruit
    Travel Natural Toothpaste – Fresh Mint
    Whole Care Toothpaste – Cinnamon Clove, Peppermint, Spearmint, Wintermint
    Whole Care Toothpaste Gel – Peppermint
    Wicked Fresh™ Mouthwash – Cool Mountain Mint, Peppermint Wave
    Wicked Fresh™ Toothpaste – Spearmint Ice, Cool Peppermint
  • Jell-O – Boston Cream Pie Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
    Jell-O – Dulce de leche Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
    Jell-O – Chocolate Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
    Jell-O – Chocolate Vanilla Swirls Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
    Jell-O – Dark Chocolate Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
    Jell-O – Double Chocolate Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
    Jell-O – Chocolate Indulgence Mousse Sugar Free
    Jell-O – Dark Chocolate Decadence Mousse Sugar Free
    Jell-O – Creme Brûlée Rice Pudding Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
    Jell-O – Rice Pudding Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
    Jell-O – Vanilla Sugar Free / Reduced Calorie Pudding Snacks
  • Nick’s (last verified April 14, 2022)
    Birthdäg Cake Ice Cream
    Butter Pekan Ice Cream
    Cherry Choka-Flaka Ice Cream
    Coffee Karamell Ice Cream
    Cookies and Kram Ice Cream
    Mint Chokladchip Ice Cream
    Peanot Butter Karamell Ice Cream
    Salta Karamell Ice Cream
    Strawbar Swirl Ice Cream
    Swedish Choklad Ice Cream
    Swedish Cookie Dough Ice Cream
    Swedish Lemon Bar Ice Cream
    Swedish Pistasch Ice Cream
    Swedish Vanilj Ice Cream
    Triple Choklad Ice Cream
  • Nature’s Hollow (July 28, 2015)
    Apricot Sugar-Free Jam Preserves
    Blueberry Sugar-Free Jam Preserves
    Mountain Berry Sugar-Free Jam Preserves
    Peach Sugar-Free Jam Preserves
    Raspberry Sugar-FreeJell Jam Preserves
    Strawberry Sugar-Free Jam Preserves
    Wild Blueberry Sugar-Free Jam Preserves
    Maple Sugar-Free Syrup
    Raspberry Sugar-Free Syrup
  • Astroglide® (July 28, 2015)
    Natural Liquid Personal Lubricant
    Sensitive Skin Gel Personal Lubricant

As I said, this is just a partial list. A number of regional brands are on the list as well and I didn’t include those because the list was already so damn long. Pharmacy-specific brands are also a problem, so be sure to check your labels.

Of everything on the list, the Jell-o sugar-free products are a huge disappointment. I was just debating with myself last night whether to put some pudding on my shopping list. I guess that’s going to be a hard no.

Here’s the thing: the brands aren’t going to tell us themselves if there’s a chance that their product might kill you. For that matter, given how new this research is, the brands themselves may not know that they’re a danger to their own customers. Let’s get real: I doubt many dogs are using Astroglide, so they probably don’t have a clue. Even if they knew, we all know corporations aren’t quick to admit that there’s a problem with their product. They’ll just let us die and claim it was a one-off situation.

We have to watch out for ourselves and each other. Now, you know that xylitol can be a problem. Be safe.

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Cancer Update  /  Current Issues  /  Morning Update  /  Personal  /  Status  /  video
Morning Update: 06/06/24
June 6, 2024

Eternal Hell [2014 original with AI adjustments]

This is the first time I’ve tried using this Chromebook as I would a regular computer and I’m not sure how long I can do this without throwing the damn thing across the room. There’s no precision in trying to scroll to a specific place on the page. Editing a picture with any precision? Forget it, that’s not happening. Trying to find an app that will do what you need done? Good luck! Half the apps in the Play Store don’t work on Chromebook at all despite being “mobile” apps. Apparently, all the OS people at Google think that everyone spends their time playing fucking idiotic pay-to-play games. Why the fuck would anyone do that in the first place? Somehow, I just hit something that opened the fucking debug window! Can this get any more stupid? [Don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.]

Trying to edit anything in Lightroom is a complete nightmare. It took four fucking attempts before this morning’s image would import. It can’t read TIFF files at all apparently, or at least, it won’t show me the thumbnail so I can see which image is which. Just finding the menu item so I can import an image is about the most non-intuitive thing I’ve ever seen in a piece of software. Exporting an image? That’s a whole other nightmare! YOU CAN’T CHOOSE WHERE THE IMAGE IS BEING SAVED! I don’t want to save images on this device. I want them back on the external drive from which they came! Why the fuck is that such a foreign concept to this piece of crap? And then, when I want to upload the said image to the server so that I can use it here, I have to go hunting. They’re buried under a cumbersome file tree that makes zero sense. Again, the absence of any kind of File Explorer in this stupid OS is absurd. I need Google and Adobe to fix this fucking mess.

One of the apps that doesn’t work on the Chromebook like it does on my phone? Kroger. Why is that important? Because I have to order groceries and Kroger is the only local store that carries the sugar-free bread that I need so I can make a fucking sandwich. What happens if I don’t use sugar-free bread? The same damn thing that happened last night when I ate more than one biscuit with dinner: my sugar jumps nearly 100 points. It would be really nice if I could create an order on the larger screen so that I can make sure I’m ordering the right size/flavor/quantity without having to squint. But no, after downloading the Kroger app, it sent me to the website, which then wouldn’t let me log in. Fuck that.

Not that anything matters. I was expecting my check to be deposited first thing this morning like it was last month. I even got a letter from the bank telling me that I was signed up for the advance deposit thing. So, I don’t think it’s unreasonable that my check would be deposited on the same day that it was last month. I have bills to pay and groceries to buy. But no, that didn’t happen. I don’t have any idea when/if it will happen. Funny how no one lets you know there’s a problem until after it’s messed up your life. The check normally, on its own, appears on the 10th. That may not seem like that big a deal, waiting four more days, but by waiting until the 10th, A) my phone bill is late and invokes a late fee as a result, and B) I can’t get groceries until the next day because I have a fucking doctor’s appointment on the 10th that could very well take all fucking day or longer if my pancreas decides to not cooperate.

I’m too old and too sick to be getting worked up like this. I don’t even want to take my blood pressure because I already know it’s too high. Want to know what’s lying at the root of this tirade? I can tell you. I’m pissed because I can’t fix it. I can’t fix the desktop. I don’t have that level of skill. I have to depend on someone else and in my mind that’s the same as saying I’m a failure. I’m supposed to be able to do it all, anything, on my own, but increasingly I’m finding too damn many things that I can’t do, and losing the desktop has sent me over the edge.

I’m banking hard on Brandon being able to bring the thing back to life without having to completely wipe the hard drive. I’m also hoping that it’s an easy fix that doesn’t take much of his time. Asking someone to do something time-consuming on the weekend that doesn’t directly benefit them is just rude.

And what happens if the computer can’t be brought back from the dead? First, I cry. Amazon has a Dell Optiplex 9020 Small Form Factor Desktop with Intel Core i7-4770 Upto 3.9GHz, HD Graphics 4600 4K Support, 32GB RAM, 1TB SSD, DisplayPort, HDMI, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth – Windows 10 Pro (Renewed) for only $214 that would probably meet my needs. I think the biggest concerns I would have are the number of USB ports it doesn’t have and that it’s a renewed Windows 10 OS, not Windows 11. Anything new from Dell starts at $700. HP has some for as little as $500 but they have so little RAM that I’m not sure Photoshop or After Effects would even boot up. If they did, it would take forever for anything to process. Let’s hope that Brandon can work some kind of miracle so that I don’t have to consider any of these options.

I have a copy of the late Maynard Ferguson’s 1976 album, Primal Scream. I put it on yesterday and let it play louder than normal; it could be heard outside my room. This is probably the best and safest way to express what I’m feeling. I’m not okay. I need my desktop. I need my check. I need some sense of at least moderate control over what’s happening in my life. If that can’t happen, just shoot me.

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Current Issues  /  Mythology  /  News & Comment  /  Politics
Life Without The Influence of Religion Would Be Happier
June 5, 2024

The Only Light [2013]

One of the many things that have raised my ire this week, separate from computer issues, has to do with the manner in which religion is obstinately and intentionally interfering with people’s lives and, ultimately, in government. For example, the head of the Ethics Committee for the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) said on Monday (June 3) that IVF is immoral and that Baptists should oppose it. First of all, the idea that Southern Baptists, those stalwarts of sexual abuse and denial, have a committee addressing ethics is laughable. Secondly, the statement mirrors that of the Catholic church, which the SBC has historically positioned itself opposingly on almost every issue.

But more ridiculous and harmful than the insidious idiocy of the SBC statement is the fact that this bullshit ends up having an influence on legislation. The chairman (of course, it’s a man) of the ethics committee wrote in a letter to the U.S. Senate: “We urge legislators to develop and implement a system of federal oversight that protects and informs women and ensures embryos are treated with care, even as we oppose the general practice of IVF.”

What the living fuck is going on with that? Why would a political body even give a shit about the SBC’s stance on anything?

Because, while the First Amendment limits Congress from the “establishment” of religion, it does not limit Congress nor any other political body from inserting religious inference into their governance of any and every issue to which someone thinks it might apply, and 99.99% of the time, it is a Christian influence that policymakers assert. Over time, that influence has grown, especially through the 20th century. The phrase “one nation under God” was not added until 1954 in an effort to distinguish the US from communist states. And while God is never mentioned explicitly in the US Constitution, which is the way it should be, it is mentioned in the constitutions of all 50 states. By invoking the name of any deity at all, those states, and the nation, are implicitly establishing a religion, which makes the whole mess unconstitutional.

Now, we find ourselves in this mess over reproductive rights, which no religious document explicitly mentions in any way, shape, or form, and in the name of some make-believe deity women’s rights are being taken away. First, it was the right to abortion, which the Supreme Court stripped under the influence of the Orange Felon, and now, invoking the same mythology and absence of reasoning, they’re going after IVF!

Consider what Vice President Kamala Harris had to say to Jimmy Kimmel last night (June 4):

There are better ways to run a country than to do so under the misguided influence of a mythology. In fact, if we extrapolate existing research, the argument can be made that we would be happier if we were not governed under the influence of any religion. Consider that persistent annual research has shown that the following countries are among the happiest:

  • Norway 7th
  • Sweden – 4th
  • Denmark – 2nd
  • Finland -1st for the seventh year in a row
  • Iceland – 3rd

Meanwhile, the United States isn’t even in the top 20, coming in at a dismal 23rd place. While the research does not directly target religion, it is worth pointing out that the countries I’ve listed are all explicitly secular in their governance. Religion is forbidden from playing any part. That does not mean the people who live there are not religious, but they do not allow their religious beliefs to interfere with how the country operates, how its laws are formed, or how its people are treated.

I can’t imagine what it must be like, how different it must be, to live full-time, to grow up, be educated, and pursue one’s life’s work, in a country that is not constantly trying to hammer everyone into some form of religious compliance. It would be so very different from the country we now live in. Do you know what country demands religious adherence? Afghanistan. Want to know where they land as far as their people being happy? At the very bottom of the scale. Dead last.

Stop and ask yourself: do we want to become the next Afghanistan? Because the way we’re headed now, that’s exactly where we’re going to end up.

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Cancer Update  /  Current Issues  /  Morning Update  /  Personal
Morning Update: 06/05/24
June 5, 2024

Fuck Everything

(IT’S GETTING) HOT OUT HERE. [2017]

Today is getting off to just about the worst start possible. Never mind that we have storms coming in, my glucose isn’t cooperating, I slept like shit, or I have 53 cents in my account. None of that matters in light of the fact I woke up and my desktop computer, the one I use for everything, is dead. The hard drive won’t even start to spin up. My guess is, based on yesterday’s performance, that the drive is too full following an update to Photoshop. There’s no room left to write the .tmp files needed for startup. This would be because the drive was unevenly partitioned. There’s plenty of space on the D partition, but I never could convince Windows to use it.

So, I’m stuck using my Chromebook, a device I purchased two years ago for use when I would be at the hospital. Among the issues here:

  • It only has one USB drive so I can only connect one external drive at a time
  • I can’t use my wireless mouse and am stuck with this stupid touchpad
  • The biggest Adobe apps, the ones I use most often, won’t work on the Chromebook because the OS is the exact same one as is on your phone.
  • There’s no way to connect my large 42″ monitor to the Chromebook
  • I have to hunch over to use the damn thing
  • There’s no equivalent to File Explorer on this OS
  • I have to shut the Chromebook every time I get up to keep cats from walking across and messing everything up
  • I don’t even know what documents I’ve lost on the old drive
  • Not all saved passwords are carried over to the Chromebook
  • This is really trying my patience

Brandon has volunteered to take a look at the machine this weekend. This is the sort of thing he does for work and if there’s any recovering it I’m sure he’ll be able to do so. In the meantime, though, I’m extremely limited in what I can do, which has me on the verge of a complete breakdown. I don’t do well without my pictures and Photoshop. I don’t have a decent camera. I don’t have a darkroom or any place to create one. I don’t have a piano or composition paper. What the fuck am I supposed to do with my decaying self?

I’m sure I’ll sadly survive this lack of privilege. I asked Kat to shoot me, but once again she declined. I don’t know why she won’t go ahead and put me out of everyone’s misery.

So, there, that’s where we are this morning. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if there’s anything else I can salvage from this painfully uncreative circumstance. Otherwise, I’ll just go all-in on bitching about the incredible amount of nonsense coming from all the fucking idiotic politicians that someone elected in what has to be one of the most brain-dead moments the world has experienced.

Maybe SS will hit tomorrow so I can at least buy ground turkey for hamburgers.

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Cancer Update  /  Current Issues  /  Morning Update  /  Personal  /  Social Commentary
Morning Update: 06/04/24
June 4, 2024

Supporting in the Club [2012 original with AI background]

My alarm is wonky. Jack Jack decided not to wait until 7:00 to wake me this morning. No, he woke me at 6:30 with a series of serious headbutts to let me know that he and his compatriots needed to be fed now. I complied, of course, but then went right back to bed and back to sleep. I’m not sure the dogs so much as moved. I didn’t sleep all that well last night anyway, so getting up earlier than necessary this morning wasn’t going to happen.

Kat wanted to stop by and see our friend Jenni at Fat Cat last night, so I walked down there to meet her. Jenni asked if I’d done anything productive. My answer was no, which will be my answer from here on out even if I manage to stay busy. Sure, Tipper and I walked to the Speedway to get milk and I did re-process a number of pictures, but were either of those actions productive? Not in the sense of doing anything that matters to society. Chemo has made me largely useless from a social perspective. I can sit here and type and complain and do things with pictures, but at the end of the day, none of it matters.

I responded to a request from my endocrinologist asking how my glucose levels were doing. I didn’t hear anything back. I sent a message to my patient advocate about my insurance and didn’t get as much as an acknowledgment from them. So, I’m still waiting.

There was a situation at the Speedway that bothered Tipper a bit. As we were checking out, the store manager saw a man rummaging through the trash outside. She and the one male employee quickly went outside to run him off. He objected, loudly, and raised a bit of a fuss. As Tipper and I left, we stayed off to the side so as to not attract any unwanted attention. Tipper was concerned and we walked quickly to the corner and across the street. The traffic light worked in our favor and we were across Lafayette before the man could catch up. For much of the rest of the way home, she kept looking back over her shoulder to make sure we weren’t being followed.

Tipper explained that men like that are the reason she won’t go anywhere by herself. In this city or any other for that matter, that’s a wise move. We’ve created an environment where women of any age cannot safely travel alone without significant experience in hand-to-hand combat, and even then, they face substantial risks. But can she realistically expect there to always be someone to accompany her?

Take, for example, going to school this fall. She can catch the same bus as her brother going to the transit center, and then her boyfriend, Gio, will meet up with her there for the rest of the trip to school (Tipper’s going to the main campus while G is off campus at the micro-school). What happens, though, if either her brother or Gio isn’t going to school one day? One could be ill, away on a field trip, or have an e-learning day for some reason. What does she do then? Is she safe going to school by herself?

Yeah, I’m gonna worry. I’m not sure what reasonable precautions we can take.

It was more than eight hours later when I walked back down to the bar to meet Kat. The same guy was still there at the intersection. He had his shirt off now, a half-empty bottle in his back pocket, and was inebriated enough that he couldn’t manage to cross the street. He tried to tell me how he, his dad, and his brother, used to live “right here” in the neighborhood, long ago, when the bar was under a different name. He’s a regular outside all the businesses in the area. Kat has witnessed him being thrown out of other convenience stores as well. His life seems to be a series of poor choices, choices which the bottle would indicate that he’s continuing to make.

I’d like to think that maybe someone tried to help him once before, help him get treatment for his alcoholism and whatever else plagues him. There are any number of reasons why he’s on the street. Maybe he’s the person who lives in the tent under the nearby bridge, by the creek. G’s been by there often on his way home, and is sure someone is living there, but has never seen the occupant. Everyone dodges him, and everyone judges him. Yet, he’s still human. He deserves some compassion, doesn’t he?

This is the world we’ve created, one where people on the fringes of society, for whatever reason, are cast aside. We assume they put themselves where they are with a series of bad choices, and for some, that’s likely true, but we know there are plenty of exceptions as well and we won’t know who the exceptions are unless we interact with them. We have to take some risks.

As I’m sitting here typing, I’m thinking of Bill Levin and the First Church of Cannabis. Bill has a lot of detractors, especially within the city government, but he and his church members are doing something no one else is: having a positive impact on homelessness in the city. More than anyone else, they’re out there partnering with Hearts In Hands Homeless Outreach providing food (which drives city officials nuts), blankets, and basic life necessities, including food and medical care for homeless pets. If they meet someone that they can realistically help get off the street, they do so. The City of Indianapolis makes that task as difficult as possible, but Bill has been determined to make a difference.

We need more people like Bill who are willing to take that chance. Maybe I need to be one of those people. I’m not planning on doing any walking today or tomorrow, but the next time I’m out, I’ll be looking. If nothing else, maybe I’ll ask Bill for help. Maybe you could, too.

Okay, time for me to get on with my unproductive day. I’m feeling some pressure in my chest, some fogginess in my head, some pain in my arms. I’m not sure how much of the day I’ll be able to remain upright. I’ll do what we can, though.

Maybe the dogs will find me entertaining.

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Cancer Update  /  Current Issues  /  Morning Update  /  News & Comment  /  Personal  /  Social Commentary
Morning Update: 06/03/24
June 3, 2024

Fiercely Gay [2011 original with AI background]

I have a new alarm clock. His name is Jack Jack, our huge mane coon mix. For the past three mornings, he has decided that no, I do not get to sleep as late as the kids. I must be up at 7:00 to feed him and the band of four-legged miscreants he leads. He’s big enough that he can be standing on my headboard and still headbutt me until I’m awake. It’s a gentle, fluffy headbutt, but it’s effective. I’ll sit up and every damn cat in the house will be in the recovery room waiting for me. The dogs both roll over as if to say, “Can’t you do something about them?” And with that, we start our morning.

Nothing of significance was achieved yesterday. Sure, we went to the nearby store to get milk. G even went with us this time, running ahead, showing us the meandering path he takes when he gets off bus 37 on Lafayette. But our task was incomplete. They were out of milk. All of it. Turns out, this little store only gets milk deliveries once every two weeks. When the milk arrives, people buy multiple gallons at a time. So, they quickly run out. They won’t have more milk until a week from Wednesday. I’m thinking about trying the Mexican grocery about the same distance in the opposite direction, but none of us speak enough Spanish to communicate so I’m not sure how well that would work.

We came back home, at lunch, and I slept for the next six hours. That was the day. I fixed dinner, Kat came home, and I was back in bed by 9:30. Oh, the exciting life I lead! Fucking chemo. I feel like yesterday was 98% wasted. At least I’m getting my steps in.

It’s too early to check my glucose this morning, but I was surprised last night when it was down to 100 an hour after dinner. I’m not sure exactly what I did right considering it was at 238 yesterday morning. There’s an article on the AP website this morning teasing, “Eat Whatever You Want, Just Not Whenever You Want. That’s How Intermittent Fasting Works.”

“The theory behind time-restricted eating is that it supports the circadian rhythm, or the body’s internal clock. Spending more time in a fasting state may boost the body’s processes that govern blood sugar and fat metabolism, for instance, scientists say.”

There are multiple ways of doing intermittent fasting, one of which is to do all your eating for the day within a 10-hour window, delaying breakfast until 10 or so, finishing dinner by 8, and fasting the rest of the time. That’s pretty much how my schedule naturally works as long as I eat enough to not want a snack. Snacks are what kill me. If I’m hungry, I start browsing and there’s never anything sugar-safe available for a snack. Sugar-safe (not just sugar-free but also low carb, low fat) foods are not only hard to find but they tend to be expensive when they are available. I don’t know if this is the answer to getting my glucose back under control or not, but paying more attention to when I eat might not be a bad idea.

And now I’m hungry.

Mexico has its first female president, in case you weren’t paying attention. Claudia Sheinbaum is a scientist, a “leftist” (that doesn’t mean what you think it means), and is promising greater “continuity,” which is an interesting concept that apparently doesn’t feel threatening to the cartels. Of course, for the US, the immediate question is what does this mean for immigration and the drug trade? The greater question probably should be whether a Mexican president, regardless of who it is, effectively controls either. Mexico is a complicated situation and thinking that any president can overrule the cartels is foolish.

If you’re not paying attention to international news, please do. The Reuters homepage is full of important information and it doesn’t make any sense for me to try and regurgitate it for you. You can read. From a UN group advocating global recognition of a Palestinian state to Ukraine to the eroding relationship between China and Taiwan, what is going on outside our borders affects what happens inside our borders. We are not an autonomous body whose actions are independent of the rest of the world. We never have been (see France’s participation in the Revolutionary War for an early example). Just as Mexico is leaning to the left, France is leaning to the right and all of the EU knows that is not a good development for anyone. Stay aware.

Drink more coffee. Pet more dogs. Kill fewer people. Accept less bullshit. Think we can do that?

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Morning Update: 06/02/24
June 2, 2024

All The Things That Are

Fabulous Fashion [2012 with AI enhancement]

Yesterday was pretty much exactly what we expected: rain. The weather did hold off long enough for Tipper and me to make a trip to the store for eggs and cereal. We should have grabbed another gallon of milk, but there was still over half a gallon in the fridge. This morning, there’s no milk. That tends to happen a lot around here. We’ll go a couple of days with hardly anyone touching the milk, then boom, it’s gone. So, we’ll be making another trip today.

One of the cute things about Tipper, though, is how careful she is when she’s walking with me. She watches for every uneven spot in the sidewalk, every hole I might step in, anything that could possibly trip me up. She grabs my elbow to help me step off the curb. She insists on holding doors open for me. She takes grocery bags from my hands and carries them herself. I’ve had to explain to her why it’s important for me to be the one walking on the outside of the sidewalk because she’d take that dangerous position, too, if I’d let her.

So, you can imagine her concern when I announced around 7:30 last night that I was “going walking” by myself. I had a specific destination that was not child-appropriate, so her going with me was not an option. She was napping when I left and when she woke she wanted to know, “Are they going to drive you home or? I’m a little confused. 😭” Kat and I both assured her that I was okay. By that time, I was on my way home and she was back asleep before I finished taking the dogs out. It is so incredibly precious how much she cares, though I do worry that perhaps she’s taking on an adult-sized load of concern.

I have to push myself through days like yesterday. In addition to everything hurting, I cough more, my balance is off more, and as I move between periods of sleep and awake, my cognition isn’t always as sharp as it should be. I either nap, surrounded by as many animals as possible or I’m doing something fairly rote and mundane so as to not make my head hurt anymore than it already does.

Going back through posts from 2021 and earlier, I’m noticing that not only are some videos missing (I know why) but the photo carousel isn’t working either. When I check on the photos that are missing, I also find that I don’t necessarily like how I initially processed a lot of them. Therefore, I’ve decided that I need to reprocess them and repost them as videos as that makes them more difficult to steal. I’m not sure how that’s going to look necessarily, but it’s something I can do to fill time without making my head hurt.

Last week, we enjoyed the food from Fat Cat BBQ during the race, but there’s also a nearby bar called Fat Cat as well and this past week we discovered that a dear friend is now working behind the bar there. So, as I grew restless and a bit hungry, I decided that when the weather cleared I would walk down there (hence the reason for Tipper’s concern). The bar is almost exactly a mile from the house and the biggest danger is crossing Lafayette Rd.

Kat nor I are, by nature, not the kind of people who sit in bars on a regular basis just to hang out and drink. First, neither one drinks that much (I’m not supposed to drink at all), we’re both cheapskates when it comes to how much we pay for alcohol, and finally, we don’t necessarily like people all that much. Fat Cat has been on the same corner the entire time we’ve lived here and last night was the first time I’ve walked through its doors. In fact, at one point, someone (I don’t remember who) told me to be careful, that it wasn’t necessarily my “kind of crowd.” But Jenni is a dear friend and it’s been well over a year since I last saw her. I knew that as long as she was there I’d be reasonably safe.

Turns out, any concern about it being too rough an establishment was ill-placed. I walked in and almost immediately one dear inebriated soul was happy to welcome me to the bar, introduced himself, and suggested I order a drink. There was no one there who wasn’t friendly. Bonus points: Jenni’s daughter was working the kitchen and DJ Redbone was in the house just floating about and being social. I’ve known Redbone since the days of UNZip the Runway (14, maybe 15 years ago?) so it was good to catch up a bit. I didn’t stay too long. There’s a time limit on when I need to take my evening medicine and check my glucose. I was back home and headed to bed before 10:00. I’ve not been out at night in so long, though, I really enjoyed my time there.

One side note: on the walk there, just a few houses north of us, I came across a young raptor in a neighbor’s yard. I’m not sure exactly what kind of bird it was. He had a smooth, gold head and black body with gold feathers in his tail. He had caught a mole and flew off toward the North 40 when he left. This is one of those moments when I hate how lousy the digital zoom is on my phone camera. I couldn’t get close enough to get an identifying picture. He looked really young, but he definitely knew he was king of the air at that moment.

As we celebrate Pride Month, it’s well worth noting that yesterday, a drag queen story time in Philadelphia set the Guinness World Record for attendance. This is the first such record for that category and as LGBTQ+ issues are such a hot point during an election year, I’m extremely happy that it happened and I think Philadelphia was the perfect place!

Solaris has planted himself on my desk in from of my monitor fresh from having puked up his entire breakfast. So help me, I’m pretty sure that the majority of the paper towels we use in this house go toward cleaning up cat puke.

The air outside is still damp this morning. It seems strange that it’s June and I’ll need to wear a light jacket to go to the store. What’s more strange is that it’s going to be a couple of weeks before we truly break this cool pattern.

Meanwhile, in India, people are dying from the heat as they stand in line to vote, and South Africa’s mostly-white Democratic Alliance has won the majority there for the first time in over 20 years. Oh, and get this, North Korea is sending balloons carrying trash over to South Korea. South Korea is promising an “unendurable” response. China landed a rocket on the far side of the moon while Boeing choked on its effort to launch a manned space flight. I don’t see how anyone can be surprised by either of those news items. It has to be some very brave people sitting in that Boeing rocket.

Solaris says it’s time to stop typing. He’s batting at my fingers. I guess I’ll have to find something more entertaining to do.

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Who Is Really Spreading Misinformation?
June 1, 2024

Blowing Away Sadness [2010 original with AI background adjustment]

There is a particular stereotype about the people who spread misinformation on the Internet. Generally speaking, we imagine that they’re middle-aged single/divorced men who have nothing better to do than gripe about everything and have the technological skills to spread their hate of all things by using bots they’ve created. This has been the mental picture we’ve been encouraged to hold for years now and we’ve happily played along, assuming that these lonely souls are just creepy guys who are fat, lazy, and jobless.

Turns out, we were wrong. New research published this past week (May 30) in Science affirms a 2019 study showing that the people most responsible for 90% of all misinformation spread on social media are women! Specifically, older women with an average age of 58, and largely Republican (64%). They make up 60% of the 2000 so-called superspreaders that dominate social media. One in 20 internet users follows at least one of these superspreaders and shares the misinformation they post. No bots. Just a bunch of old ladies with an agenda sitting around hitting the retweet button on X over and over and over until their casserole is done.

The researcher stated, “It does not seem like supersharing is a one-off attempt to influence elections by tech-savvy individuals, but rather a longer-term corrosive socio-technical process that contaminates the information ecosystem for some part of society.”

Two key words in that sentence: corrosive and contaminates. This is critical because such labels potentially limit this kind of communication from the shield of free speech. By now, we should all understand that the First Amendment guarantee of speech does not cover language that is potentially harmful to others. If we can prove that the deliberate and intentional sharing of misinformation is harmful, then it becomes illegal and the persons involved would be subject to prosecution.

Sure, no one likes the image of seeing grandma in handcuffs, but then, we didn’t imagine that instead of pestering her daughter-in-law about the grandkids grandma was making a deliberate attempt to destroy Democracy, either. Because of this misinformation, our elections are in danger. People who vote are making choices based on this misinformation and the result is that we get more people like Marjorie Taylor Greene making fools of themselves and the people they represent.

The authors of both studies, as well as other experts in the field, think that platforms should limit the number of times someone can “share” something. The suggested number is 50 retweets a day. I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say there’s no way in hell that Elon Musk is going to limit a damn thing on X. He doesn’t give a shit. He simply wants users and he doesn’t care what kind of bullshit they share.

Instead, I think people like you and I have to be a lot more aggressive about blocking people the first time we see something stupid show up in our newsfeeds. While Breitbart, InfoWars, and Gatewaypundit are the original source of most fake news, I would add Newsmax and Fox News to the list as well. Block them. Block everyone who shares their stories. Remember, you don’t have to follow them for their shit to show up in your newsfeed. Block them and, depending on which social media site you’re on, make sure you tell them that the material is offensive and false so that their misinformation is shared with fewer people.

Our Democracy is far too valuable to let a bunch of bigoted, homophobic, addle-brained, cookie-burning old ladies destroy it. Block the living hell out of them and let your DA (who is also an elected official) know that you consider misinformation damaging to the public. Let’s make it illegal. Shall we?

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Morning Update: 06/01/2024
June 1, 2024

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

Happy Pride! [2016 with AI sky]

Pride Month is here! Yay! It’s time to celebrate all my favorite people! I love Pride Month and all the wonderful things that come with it. No, I’m not able to participate in all the activities because, you know, cancer sucks and I have no immune system. That doesn’t mean I don’t support them and would definitely be right out there with them celebrating who they are and the rights they deserve as humans. I don’t give a fuck what anyone else says, the people you’ll meet at Pride events are some of the most loving and caring souls on the planet.

As the partner/parent/ally of more LGBTQ+ people than I care to count, I love seeing them flaunt their true selves, fly their true colors, and express themselves as individuals. I also find myself being aggressively protective of them and their rights. I am deeply disturbed by the direction that ultra-right-wing conservatives have taken against the rights of people I love and care about, especially trans people. Let me be very clear about this: If you’re human, you’re human and you inherently have all the rights of every other human on the planet regardless of how you may present yourself, who and how you love, how you identify, or how you relate to the public in general. There’s no room for argument on this. As has been said over and over and over and over again, human rights are not a pie that we carve up into pieces. Acknowledging the rights of someone else does not take away anyone else’s rights.

One of the more telling headlines I’ve seen this morning came from a Reuters poll showing that the Orange Felon’s supporters are less likely to have a college degree. No, this isn’t surprising. For the past eight-plus years, we’ve observed the lack of critical thinking skills that allow one to justify supporting someone who not only is a bad politician, but a rather nasty person as a whole. However, it also explains how these same people take a combative and pugnacious stand against LBGTQ+ rights. They were fed a limited story growing up and they don’t know how to see that story for the myth that it is. They are cocooned in their own little make-believe world and not only do they not know how to break free, they don’t want to be part of reality and wish that everyone would stop trying to take them out of their snow globe.

Here’s the thing: stupid people elect stupid people. We’ve seen that for years and the situation has only gotten worse. Eisenhower Republicans were for expanding social services to the poor and needy, were for expanding the minimum wage, and for labor rights. That ended with Eisenhower, though. From Tricky Dick to Ronald Reagan and beyond, the party has become further and further removed from reality, from the needs of actual people, and supportive of rights for the rich and the white. These are the people who are actively trying to harsh the buzz of Pride Month with their own little “Day of …” bullshit in a vain attempt to deny the fabulousness that LGBTQ+ people bring to our society.

Celebrating Pride Month is a necessity, not an option. If we don’t stand up and let our voices be heard all month long, we’re likely to find those voices stifled by people who can’t form a complete sentence. Noise matters. Your presence matters. Participation matters. Visibility matters. We cannot allow ourselves and our friends to be dominated by people whose social and sexual education ended with Adam and Eve. That means making the most of Pride Month and then extending that to the rest of the year.

What may be most important in this election year is that straight(ish) people need to stand in defense of our LGBTQ+ family and friends. The ultra-right-wing conservatives think they can dominate by shouting louder, being more aggressive, storming state houses, city councils, and school board meetings, and just flat being mean. We have no choice this year but to shout them down, put them in the minority, and demand equity in human rights across the board.

Tipper loves running around the yard, and other places, in her furry costume. It’s hot, so she typically doesn’t stay in it for long, but when she does she never fails to get interesting looks. She wore the costume for a little while on race day. One father forcibly pulled his young daughter in the opposite direction. Why? Tipper wasn’t hurting anyone, she damn sure wasn’t trying to recruit anyone, and the only person to whom she might occasionally be a danger is her brother. I get the quizzical looks she gets because it’s an interesting costume, but she’s having fun. She’s more expressive when she’s wearing that giant monster head. She dances and interacts with people who she would never approach as herself. She loves seeing the smile on the faces of little ones when she waves those big furry paws at them.

Tipper has the same rights whether appearing as herself or in costume as everyone else on the planet. You respond negatively to her, you’re getting on my bad side real quick. No one’s asking you to put on a costume. Just give her and everyone else the space to be who they are, to joyfully express who they are, and to live peacefully in the same world as everyone else. That’s not too much to ask.

There’s rain moving in this morning. I forgot to take a pill last night so I’m hesitating to check my glucose. The pups and I may well spend the rest of the day in bed. The kids mowed the yard yesterday (with no small amount of arguing over who was doing their “fair” share) so that’s out of the way. Two of our three young trees are doing well and will appreciate the rain. Kat had a rough day yesterday, though, so I’m hoping today is a lot better, people are more friendly to her, and she can get a decent night’s sleep without cats waking her at 6:00 in the freakin’ morning. Zach, my eldest, is moving into a new apartment today, so that’s kind of a big deal. It will be interesting to see how often his mom and brothers visit.

Life comes at us fast, children. Celebrate every part of who you are while you can.

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Morning Update: 05/31/24
May 31, 2024

The System Worked As Designed

Watching the World Burn [2021]

There can now be no question that we are living in historic times. I wish we weren’t, because too many of the “historic” things we’ve experienced have been bad. In a sane world, the Iran hostage crisis of 1979 wouldn’t have happened. The terror of 9/11 wouldn’t have happened. And a former president wouldn’t have broken the law (before he was president). In a sane world, people behave. In a sane world, people don’t lie. In a sane world, adults don’t respond like three-year-olds.

We obviously have never lived in a sane world. Ever.

When the news came across my phone that a verdict was ready in the former president’s hush money case, I turned on a live stream of ABC News and called the kids into the room. They needed to witness this because it will most likely affect them a lot longer than it will affect me. ABC displayed a simple graphic numbered 1-34, representing the number of counts against the former president. We watched together as the space in front of each one filled with the word “guilty.” There were no non-decisions, nor did they find him not guilty on any count. That was it.

The Orange Felon called the trial rigged, but let’s consider how we got here. First, there were charges. Each charge had to be vetted by the New York Attorney General’s Office to see if there was any chance of the charge being true. They concluded that there was. Next, a grand jury was assembled. It was the grand jury’s job to consider all the evidence and decide whether there was sufficient cause to go ahead with a full trial. Had there not been enough evidence, the case would have ended there. The case was scheduled for trial. Both sides participated equally in the selection of jurors. Both sides called their witnesses and pleaded their case, presumably to the best of their ability.

The jury deliberated for a mere ten hours over the course of two days. They had the judge’s instructions read back to them to ensure they followed the law. There was ample opportunity for any one of the jurors to muddy the waters. A single juror is all it would take to declare a mistrial. Had there been any question, the jurors could have debated for days, even weeks, about the efficacy of each count. That was their right and totally within their power. But that didn’t happen. This fairly and reasonably selected jury was unanimous and came back with one verdict on which they all agreed: guilty.

This is the way the system was designed to work.

I want my children to grow up believing in the rule of law. I want my children to know that no one, including a former president (or a sitting president, for that matter), is above the law. These matters are critical because without them we lose our Democracy.

I know that Reuters is reporting that Trump supporters call for riots and violent retribution after verdict. The media is going to hype that angle, perhaps to the point of making it come to fruition. Without all the media hype, I don’t think it would actually happen, but this is the way we apparently work now. And, honestly, when have the Orange Felon’s cult members not responded like three-year-olds who didn’t get their way? Ever? No, never. Every damn time. Why? Because three-year-olds don’t understand that they’re not that special. Three-year-olds don’t understand that there are consequences for disobeying rules. The difference here is that actual three-year-olds learn. The members of the Felon’s cult, don’t.

After the verdict, G made us all a delicious celebratory soup because the system worked. We ate the soup, took our meds, and went to bed. We slept well. Today, we’ll mow the lawn because it’s almost certain to rain tomorrow.

Our lives go on. I still have cancer and diabetes and high blood pressure and arthritis and I’m insane. The kids are still enjoying the few weeks of summer break they have. Kat will still do the most awesome work on people’s hair. The dogs will still bark at anyone who walks past the house. The cats will still leave hair on everything. Nothing changes for us.

But we go forward knowing that the system works, whether anyone likes the outcome or not. Fuss all you want, the law is the law. If you want to change the law, you have to vote. But then, who is going to change the law to allow for deceptive financial practices? There are enough loopholes already that corporations are exploiting.

By the way, can we end this talk of jail time for the Orange Felon? There’s almost zero chance of that happening. These are E-level felonies, the lowest possible in the New York system. While there is an allowance for jail time, that rarely happens. Probation, public service, and house arrest are the most common sentences handed down in this type of case. Because the Orange Felon is a former president and thereby entitled to Secret Service protection for the rest of his life, any jail time would present a considerable burden on both the Secret Service and the prison system. As salacious as jail time would be, I don’t see the judge making that decision.

Now, I need to get my day started. Ya’ll sit around here and fuss all you want.

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Morning Update: 05/30/24
May 30, 2024

Elegant Rest [2004]

No worries, I’m fine. No severe sugar drop. The doctor has revised the prescription a little bit so that hopefully those wild ups and downs won’t occur. Even last night’s after-dinner measurement was a reasonable 135, which is still high but only by about 15 points. We’ll get there and get things back to normal soon enough, I’m sure.

I’m still pissed about all the censorship going on around town. You’ll find my latest opinion in last night’s post. I seriously fail to understand why anyone would think that it’s their job, their responsibility, or even any of their fucking business to police what consenting adults do, anywhere, any time, for any reason. They don’t seem to mind ruining people’s lives, jeopardizing their jobs, threatening relationships, and denying basic human dignity. Then, they want to run and hide behind some form of religious mythology that, by any reasonable account, is a piece of trash.

Oh, that reminds me, those bastions of ministerial abuse, the Southern Baptist Convention, has their annual convention in Indy again, June 9-12. This is at least the third time in the past 20 years that they’ve brought their special brand of bigotry, hate-filled love, self-righteousness, pretentiousness, and really bad tipping to the Circle City. There is no upside to them being here. Businesses don’t profit because these tightwads don’t buy much and complain about it when they do. And you want to know what’s high on their agenda? Whether or not they want to acknowledge all the fucking abuse committed by Southern Baptist ministers. Just yesterday, Nashville’s paper of record, The Tennessean, published a second article on their attempt to deny what’s happening, “Second SBC pastor implicated in ‘conspiracy’ to destroy evidence in federal abuse inquiry.” That’s how hard these fools are trying to cover their tracks. Dear Indianapolis Convention & Tourism: Please do not invite these religious terrorists back to our city ever again. We don’t need to be assaulted by people who apparently believe that spreading their seed is sharing love. Gag. We have enough trouble downtown without inviting a bunch of serial rapists.

We’re still getting unseasonably cool weather and, for the moment, it appears that there’s no rain coming at us until Saturday. I’m watching a slow-moving system coming across the plains, but there doesn’t seem to be enough activity in the jet stream for it to show up here with a lot of power. Maybe we can get the lawn mowed tomorrow.

I slept like crap last night, though. There’s a lot of pain in my wrists and arms, presumably from the fall earlier this week. So, there is definitely a need for naps today.

And, uhm, Google? No, I don’t need any help writing, thank you. It’s one of the few things I do well. STOP ASKING.

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Censorship Violates Human Dignity
May 29, 2024

You already know this is going to be NSFW.

Everything is Censored

Candace Ownes, the token GOP black female, wants pornography to be banned. Never mind that the Supreme Court has said it can’t be banned, only limited. Ms. Owens isn’t that bright and probably can’t even name the late Hustler publisher who damn near died fighting against censorship (Larry Flynt, for those of you under 50). Don’t worry, Cardi B. is calling her out.

Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry signed a bill potentially making it illegal for legitimate news outlets to cover instances of police brutality. The American Civil Liberties Union is already planning to file suit by the end of the week.

And in Texas, a judge finally dismissed charges against a so-called “journalist” who was allegedly “arrested, strip-searched, and jailed for filming police.” Why was he held? Because there’s no real publication behind him. He’s only a journalist on his own YouTube channel.

These are all examples of censorship. And no, they’re not even close to being at the top of the list. Consider these headlines:

The list of censorship in the media is neverending. Why? Because it’s titillating. Everyone clocks to see what’s going on, who wore what, who did what, who went where, and just how much can be seen. These so-called “news” outlets have us pretending to care about the lives of people just because their names show up in the media on occasion. Is it any of our business what they wear? No. Do we have any right to judge them for what they do? Only if it’s illegal and even then, we may want to take a step back first.

Religious fanatics have convinced us that we have to judge our fellow human in order to avoid being “sinfully influenced” by them. After all, if we see that someone else enjoys having a butt plug shoved up their ass, then you might want to give it a try as well.

And where are all these better-than-you media outlets coming from? Losers that can’t get jobs as real journalists at real news outlets. It’s rather easy, actually. I can toss up a web page or a YouTube profile, call myself a reporter, print my own press pass (because I know how), and walk around getting myself into trouble pretending to be something I’m not. If my website has the word “news” in it, then a lot of people think that I can hide behind the First Amendment and say anything about anyone that I damn well please.

Censorship has become such a large part of our lives, that many people have started referring to it simply as “editing.”

This time is past due for censorship of our lives to stop. And to make my point, please enjoy this totally 18+ NSFW 20-second video that definitely includes nudity and you shouldn’t watch if it’s illegal in your state. That’s on you.

And if you want to judge me for making a video like this, fuck you. I refuse to be censored by anyone other than myself (and I even have arguments with myself about that).

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Morning Update: 05/29/24
May 29, 2024

Bored [2012 original with AI background]

Here it is the 29th of May and I’m reaching for a jacket as I take the dogs out. The temperature outside is 55 degrees after a surprisingly powerful storm moved through the area around 10:00 last night. I had been watching the system on radar all day but thought it might well miss us completely. After all, it wasn’t that big and for the most part appeared to be nothing more than a decent rain shower. It was moving quickly enough that I wasn’t worried. I should have zoomed in and taken a closer look. The rain arrived with a force heavy enough to limit visibility to about 25 feet. Wind caused the roof of the carport to sound as though it might come off. Then came the hail; small enough to not be an issue, but loud enough to send Hamilton looking for the protection of a blanket.

This cool front has been nice, though. We went hiking/walking at the park yesterday and after three miles I’d yet to work up a decent sweat. Of course, any perspiration I produce tends to be from humidity, not extreme effort. Tipper and I were walking the perimeter of the park while Kat and G were off on a more challenging trail. They finished their trail and were back to the car before Tipper and I were halfway around the park. Setting speed records was not something to which we aspire. We finished up with a buffalo chicken salad that Kat made for us.

There was a bit of pseudo-drama as one of our younger neighbors was arrested yesterday afternoon. Exactly what the charge(s) might be, I can’t say. She was heard telling officers “I didn’t have a knife,” which may refer to an altercation a couple of weeks ago that saw her ex-boyfriend arrested. All her protesting was to no avail, though, and after roughly 30 minutes of them all standing outside listening to her rebuttal of the charges, while handcuffed, she was taken away. A female roommate called the woman’s mother who showed up, said something I couldn’t hear to the cops, and then called former roommates/boyfriends to “come get your shit because ain’t no one coming in after I lock the front door.”

Yeah, we have really classy neighbors.

Yesterday still felt a lot like a holiday so I was caught off guard when I got a note from my endocrinologist. After considering the up-and-down of my sugar levels this past week, she wants me to try doubling the med, one in the morning, and one at night. There’s a risk here, though. As we’ve seen already, there are times when the meds can drop my sugar momentarily by over 100 points. This can be a bit dangerous. So, I’m not going anywhere today, and possibly not tomorrow, without taking someone with me. We’ll see how everything goes.

A notification came this morning that there are changes coming to my health insurance by July 1, but the letter is extremely confusing. I’m going to need some help making any sense of it. The bottom line is that as long as the chemo is covered, I’ll survive. There are other considerations, though, and I don’t want to make anything worse while trying to make things better. I’m hoping Kat can help translate the letter.

I’m tired. I need to eat. Maybe I’ll do something with pictures later. We’ll see.

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Morning Update: 05/28/2024
May 28, 2024

The World Is A Dumpster Fire [2011 original with AI background]

Everything is running late this morning because of having to deal with an issue of censorship and doxxing on the part of a wannabe replacement for college journalism. They obviously have no real journalistic integrity because what they’re doing in article after article would get them fired at any legitimate newspaper. But hey, that’s not new for religiously-based right-wing nut jobs, is it?

I am sore beyond belief this morning after taking a rather hard tumble yesterday afternoon. We have a baby gate separating the kitchen from the living room so that the dogs don’t get into the trash and aren’t underfoot while someone’s trying to cook. I was leaning on the gate (a no-no) and talking with Kat when the gate fell and I went with it. No bones were broken, thankfully, but skinning your knee when you’re 63 hurts a lot more than when you were three. At least, that’s how it feels. Every bone in my body felt that impact.

Apparently, I’m going to have to limit my diet to proteins only. Everything else is either making me ill or causing my sugar to go crazy. Yesterday morning, my sugar was at 105, which is on the high end of being okay. When I took it again an hour after eating dinner (pizza), it was 237! I think that may be the largest single-day jump I’ve ever had, and that’s with taking my meds at noon. We’ll continue to try different combinations, short of starving myself, and see what we can do to get the glucose down to a reasonable level, but damn, why can’t this involve more cherry pie and less pain and suffering?

There’s been talk over the past 24 hours about us possibly taking a family hike this morning. I don’t know if it’s actually happening, though. I’ve not seen G emerge from his bedroom yet. Tipper’s not too excited about being out in nature, either. We all could use the exercise, to be sure. Walking around the house in circles is the kind of thing that triggers my not-so-latent insanity. Maybe a good hike would work the soreness out of my bones.

What I know I don’t need is anyone else pissing me off this morning. High blood pressure does not work well with the cancer. That means I need to stay away from news headlines this morning because there was more egregious nonsense committed yesterday, especially in North Carolina than should ever happen anywhere on any day. That it happened on Memorial Day is inexcusable and, to any reasonable mind, would disqualify a whole host of people from holding office. That’s not the way nut jobs think, though, and so help me, they’re proliferating at a rate that would make rabbits jealous.

But we’re not talking about that. Nope. Not gonna say a word. Biting my tongue. Hard.

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Morning Update: 05/27/24
May 27, 2024

The morning after [2014 original with AI background]

Looking out the window this morning, the neighborhood looks so quiet and serene as to almost feel lonely. It’s difficult to believe that less than ten hours ago there were over 100,000 people in our neighborhood alone. Many things made this year’s race unique, from the midday evacuation to massive crowds, early departures because of storm #1, people camping in neighborhood yards, and those already drunk coming into the race. This was definitely one for the books and I’m not sure we want to repeat all of it.

As of midnight last night, when the second round of rain started, there were still hundreds of cars waiting to get out of the North 40 and the neighborhood. I’m not sure who was in charge of traffic on 30th Street, but they blew it. With both of the North 40 gates open, one should have had cars turning left (West) and the other turning right (East). That didn’t happen. Cars coming out of the main West gate were allowed to turn right. That immediately gridlocked with those trying to exit the East gate, which, in turn, backed up traffic coming out of the neighborhoods. How much of a factor darkness was in the mess, I don’t know. The rain showing up certainly didn’t help matters any. I’m sure officials will take a look at what went wrong. I’m also sure they will come up with the worst solution possible.

I’m glad I hadn’t planned on taking pictures at the end of the race for a number of factors. First, it was too dark. The skies were already gray as the second storm system approached and the sun was lower in the sky. I would have needed to use a flash and it still wouldn’t have yielded great pictures. Second, there wasn’t the sense of happiness and fun that we usually see after the race. Instead, there was a sense of urgency for everyone to get to their cars and get on the road before the rain started again. There were fewer smiles, more arguments between couples, and no one seemed to be in a celebratory mood. If anything, the feeling was closer to, “I’m glad that mess is over,” despite the fact that everyone I talked to said they enjoyed the race. The looks on their faces didn’t match their words.

I will say we noticed fewer drunk young people this year and more completely wasted over 40 adults. More grown-ass people were falling down in the middle of the intersection yesterday than any of the past 12 races I can remember. Be aware that when you pull a stunt like that, everyone sees you, everyone judges you, and most of us are happy not to know you. You’re embarrassing.

We saw more little ones going to their first race, including a number of babies under six months old. I get the desire for creating family traditions from birth to the grave. That’s one of the things I like about the race. Every year, I talk with someone who has been to every race since … whenever. And while the race really isn’t designed to accommodate those who are very young, they’re your kids and if you want to put up with the tired whining and needing a nap right about the time the race normally starts, that’s on you. However, if you’re going to take any child under 16 or so, please make sure you have ear protection for them! Of all the little ones we saw, only half were carrying any ear protection. I’m hoping I just didn’t see it for the others. The noise of the race is far too loud for little ears.

Talking with Lionel at Fat Cat BBQ around 11:00 yesterday, he was in a panic. It wasn’t noon yet and he was almost out of food! Yesterday’s crowd came hungry and ready to eat! This was ultimately a good thing. Lionel’s wife of 20+ years is battling stage four breast cancer and treatments aren’t offering much help. There are options, but they’re expensive. Giving Lionel one of the financially best days he’s had all year really helps. Thank you to everyone who patronized some of the local food vendors yesterday, and thank you, Lionel, for some absolutely wonderful rib tips!

We parked our first car around 5:30 yesterday morning, a man from Ontario traveling alone. I enjoy our conversations with the people who park in our yard. A retired couple from Colorado Springs, attending their first race, were especially delightful and kept Tipper busy with conversation for the bulk of the morning. One of the things I heard multiple times, though, was people from all over the country who are worried about how angry everyone seems to be right now. Understand that these are not partisan views. Politics was never the subject. There are a lot of people who feel that the general population is more angry than ever and these people are concerned that no one is addressing the why, or even asking the right questions. This is definitely a topic worth exploring later.

The day went better than I had expected. When I first woke up at 3:30 yesterday morning, I did not want to get out of bed. Everything hurt. My bones, my muscles, my head, and even my fingers were in pain. Going outside and being friendly with complete strangers did not seem like a good idea. A couple of cups of coffee later, though, we were ready to go. I’m glad our spaces filled early. By 8:30, I didn’t need to bother with trying to flag people down before one of our neighbors snagged them. That gave us more time to visit and talk with all the people who came to the race, and they’re always talkative. They love telling about previous trips to the race, their traditions, and who they’re rooting for. The looks of excitement on their faces, despite the early hours, are enjoyable.

We did get a couple of naps in, one during the first storm and another short one during the race. That helped us be able to stay up and keep impatient people from driving across our lawn as they searched for a faster way out. Checking my sugar level around 9:30 last night, I was pleased that it was all the way down to 105. That might be because the only thing I had to eat yesterday was a healthy serving of Fat Cat’s rib tips. I certainly don’t expect my fasting level to be that low this morning.

I’m not sure my body could handle a day like yesterday more than once a year. The experience is exhausting. I enjoyed yesterday more than many previous races, though. The weather uncertainty put a different twist on the experience. I wouldn’t want to have that delay very often. We certainly don’t need to repeat last night’s traffic debacle. But keeping this different adds to the excitement of the day. I hope everyone had a good time.

I just wonder why our friends never park with us? Hmmmm …

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Current Issues
Race Update
May 26, 2024

Rain Delay [2015 with AI background]

IMS called a rain delay ahead of the first set of storms, around 12:40. As it stands now, the race is set to begin at 2:30 EDT. The Snake Pit has been completely cancelled and a number of people who came for that reason have left. All the stands were evacuated and a number of people returned to their vehicles. However, there are still several thousand taking shelter under the grandstands, creating crowded conditions there.

As of 1:26 PM EDT, the worst of the storm has passed. There is still some rain and lightning in the area, but as soon as that is out of the way officials will begin drying the track and racing festivities will resume. The one fatality of the rain delay is that Kyle Larson will likely not race both here and at the Coca-Cola 600. Other than that, the race should continue as normal. The second round of storms is not expected until close to 6-7:00 PM this evening.

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Morning Update: 05/26/24
May 26, 2024

Whatever It Takes [2016]

IT’S RACE DAY IN INDY!

The long-awaited (seemingly) 108th running of the Indianapolis 500 is here. I’ve been up since a little before 4:00 AM and even at that early hour cars were already streaming into the North 40. If you were looking for curbside parking in the neighborhood, forget it. People decided to camp out in their cars this year. In fact, we have more camping in the neighborhood this year than anyone can remember. That means there was plenty of partying well into the night. Sadly, there was also plenty of gunfire, which is always a bit disturbing.

I’ve not gotten a weather update since 4:00 yesterday afternoon. Looking at the radar, though, that first set of storms is just West of St. Louis currently (ya’ll hang tight over there). That should put the system here most likely around noon. The race is scheduled to begin at 12:45 PM, but at the moment that seems unlikely. Honestly, at this point, everything is kind of a wait-and-see situation. It’s still early and the system is still likely gathering moisture from the gulf. There could still be changes, which is why I don’t expect to hear any adjustments to the forecast from NWS until after 6:00. This system is going to carry severe winds, possibly in excess of 70 mph, rambunctious lightning, and the possibility of hail.

Anticipating rain, IMS brought in extra heaters from NASCAR to help dry the track as quickly as possible. The first system is moving quickly, so the race could, potentially, still be on as early as 2:00. We’re anticipating a clear break of 3.5 hours which should be plenty of time to get an “official” race completed. That doesn’t mean they’ll run a full 200 laps, mind you, and that’s also assuming that they run a clean race with no severe wrecks and few yellow flags. If drivers get sloppy, that could impact whether they finish the race before the second round of storms show up.

When the second round does arrive, anywhere between 5-8 depending on a number of factors, it is going to be a doozy. Chances for tornados on the outskirts of the city, such as around Kokomo and Lafayette to the North, and Spencer and Bloomington to the South, are severe enough that our friends in those areas really need to stay alert. This system is going to pack a wallop and deliver a lot of water. If it arrives before the race is over, we’re encouraging people who do not live locally to hang tight and stay sheltered until the worst of the storm passes.

Is all this over-hype? Possibly. There’s always the chance that we warn of the worst and nothing severe happens. But, I’d rather my friends be prepared than caught by surprise. If you don’t have emergency alerts turned on, grab your phone and do so right now. They’re under Settings>Notifications, or something similar.

As for me, the chemo is kicking my ass this morning, the arthritis is flaring like a mofo, and my glucose level after dinner last night was 165, only a four-point difference from the morning. There’s no hiding in bed this morning. We have to be out taking care of parking and such or it doesn’t get done. Tipper has volunteered to be outside with me a bit. She’s wanting to wear her furry head, so we’ll see how that goes. G is going to take care of things inside, keeping the dogs from going nuts. We have a plan. That doesn’t mean everything will go smoothly, but we’ll do our best.

I wish Kat was here.

No, we’re not talking about last night’s Pacers game. Ugh.

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Morning Update with race info: 05/25/24
May 25, 2024

Ready For The Party [2015 original with AI background]

Strap in, there is a lot of information to share here. I might have been more prudent to put all this into two separate posts, but I’ve too much to do this morning before I wear out. Let’s start with the most critical issue: tomorrow’s weather. The question is not whether it will rain, the question is whether you’ll get struck by lightning if you’re muddy in the Snake Pit. As of 0600 EDT this morning, the National Weather Service in Indianapolis is saying to expect multiple rounds of severe weather on Sunday. They’re not even bothering to talk about timing because that’s too imprecise a factor. The front generating these storms is unstable and the timing and severity is going to depend on how quickly the surface temperature changes. This is not likely to be a quiet day.

Here’s the map that was issued this morning:

Wind and lightning are the biggest risks with any of these storm cells moving through. IMS has different safety plans depending on a number of weather factors. IF YOU HAVE TICKETS FOR THE GRANDSTANDS, know that you may not get to sit in them a lot. The grandstands will be evacuated in the event of lightning and/or severe winds. If your tickets are for the infield, there’s really not a lot you can do. The Snake Pit stage will be shut down and everyone will be advised to “seek the nearest covered shelter.” However, there simply is not enough “covered shelter” to protect 350,000+ fans.

Race officials are bound and determined to get as much of the race in tomorrow as possible, but that could mean large breaks with severe delays. It is almost certain that this will not be a contiguous 500-mile race. In fact, I don’t recall a race forecast for weather this severe anytime in recent memory. Should the weather get really funky, we may see IMS management making decisions on the fly. Be ready for anything.

What does all this mean for spectators? Bring an umbrella. And sunscreen. Also, make sure you have transportation! I was a little disturbed yesterday afternoon by the number of people who came out of the concert (which was called on account of lightning) and didn’t have a ride home. These were almost exclusively younger adults who didn’t think far enough ahead. PLEASE do not rely on rideshare options! The nearest rideshare pickup is over a mile away from the track, over on Lafayette Rd. Rideshare drivers cannot get into our neighborhood or anywhere else on 30th, 25th, or 16th streets. Having your own transportation is going to be the safest and most reliable option, even if parking costs a little more. You’ll also want to limit the alcohol so that you can respond quickly and safely if the weather gets particularly nasty.

I realize that for some people, this is really harshing your buzz. I’m sorry. Maybe we’ll get lucky and all we’ll get is a little rain. Don’t bet on that, though. NWS rarely raises our storm forecast to level 3. We have to take this seriously.

Okay, on to more personal things. I started my new diabetes meds yesterday and the impact was almost immediate. I’m now taking Glipizide. I took the first dose at about 2:00 yesterday afternoon. The result? My sugar went from 224 to 137! Sounds good, right? But then, my fasting measurement at 7:15 this morning was back up to 161. So, I’m not sure exactly what to think. I’m going to try taking the pill after breakfast this morning and see what difference that makes in the numbers.

I’m still feeling quite anxious about the whole sugar thing and will be extremely careful about what I eat/drink during the day. We’ve got plenty to do around the house today to keep my mind somewhat occupied, and I’m not opposed to taking multiple naps. There’s a Gang of Six napping on the bed now, but I can make room for myself whenever I wish. There’s also a lot of laundry to be done. Today needs to be chill so that we’re rested and ready for whatever gets thrown at us tomorrow.

If you’re planning on parking in the neighborhoods surrounding the track tomorrow, please take a moment to read this and perhaps share it with anyone else who is likely to be looking for parking. I estimate that, depending on the size of the vehicles, I have about seven spots available for $20 a piece. Some of the yards near me are already full with reservations. I’m not interested in being out a long time, so the sooner we can fill up and I can go back inside, the better.

It was good to see some friends we’d not seen in a long time yesterday. The people watching is one of the few things that makes the race tolerable. Traffic, of course, drives me up a wall every year. We had a number of speed demons blow past the stop sign yesterday. Our neighbors and I have already concluded that the first time we see it happen on Sunday, we’re taking license numbers and calling the police. There are too many people out here for idiots to drive like they’re going to challenge one of the drivers for their seat. We want everyone to be safe and have a good time. That can’t happen if some knucklehead is showing off in their truck.

This year feels different than previous years. I won’t be taking pictures. I will be more concerned about keeping everyone safe. I’ll be outside, ready to go, at 6:00 AM. We hope to see you!

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Morning Update: 05/24/24
May 24, 2024

What’s All The Commotion? [2013, reprocessed]

Fog covers the ground across the North 40 as fans are already anxiously arriving for Carb Day. We’re expecting perhaps a more rambunctious crowd this year than recent years have had. The neighborhood’s noise and traffic last night were ramped up and ready for action. Security has said they’re opening both sets of gates off 30th Street to ease the flow of traffic in/out of the North 40. Cars are already beginning to arrive but I don’t see any signs of severe delays just yet. The track should stay dry until after the concert with George Thorogood & The Destroyers. Click here for our post on parking etiquette.

G overslept and is missing the last day of school. He assures me that it’s no big deal, that nothing was planned for the day. He’s missed the bus so I guess he’s staying home and helping clean.

Tipper and I made another three-mile walk yesterday. These are taking about two hours, which is a bit slow, but at least we’re getting out and getting some exercise. I’m not sure we’ll go anywhere today, though. As rambunctious as last night was, I’m feeling the need to be a bit protective of the yard today.

My blood sugar was 368 an hour after eating last night. No, I don’t know why other than the fact that my pancreas is less than reliable now. Hopefully, I can get started on the new meds today. Numbers like that scare me. I’m anxious to see what my fasting number is this morning, but since dinner was so late last night I can’t check that until after 8:00 this morning. The fact that my pancreas is in danger of completely failing has me afraid to eat much of anything. Protein and fiber are the only things on the menu today.

There’s still some minor lawn work to do so I need to get my ass moving and get things done. Please, be safe.

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CARB DAY/RACE DAY PARKING ETIQUETTE
May 23, 2024

PLEASE READ IF YOU’RE USING ALTERNATIVE LAWN PARKING OUTSIDE THE SPEEDWAY.

After The Race [2023]

Race day must be just around the corner. How can we tell? Sanitation trucks have been going through the neighborhood setting up portable toilets throughout the neighborhood. There are more of them than last year, but it still won’t be enough. It never is. People utilizing parking outside the speedway is something of its own tradition and the track secretly relies on in, though they don’t want to actually acknowledge it. The speedway accommodates parking for roughly 100,000 people. That sounds like a lot, and it is. I’m sure back in the 1940s when the Hulmans were building the thing they never dreamed of filling it all up. Race attendance for this Sunday, however, is estimated to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 250,000. They all need somewhere to park.

Homeowners around the track have made their lawns available for both Carb Day (Friday before the race) and Race Day for decades. Prices have varied over the years, depending on the anticipated demand. The 100th running brought significantly higher prices than we’ll see this Sunday. People living in the neighborhoods around the track consider this small compensation for all the traffic and noise we have to put up with. You are not necessarily welcome, but for many, it is a way to help the rent for June. We see a lot of bad behavior, so if you’re going to park on anyone’s lawn, please take these items into consideration.

  1. Arrive early and just plan on chilling for a few hours. Available spots fill quickly. A lot of people accept reservations (we don’t) and some smaller lawns are technically “full” already. I’m outside ready to welcome you and your money at 6:00 AM. Others are out there earlier. Last year, our available spaces were all full by 10:00 AM and I was back inside taking a nap.
  2. Not everyone charges the same. Those of us closest to the East gate of the North 40 tend to charge the most because this is prime space. The further from the gate, the price begins to drop. However, rarely does it go below $10.
  3. Bring cash, 20s and 10s, please. I know that the track itself is cashless, but you’re making a deal here with a person, not a corporation. We don’t make enough to pay the 5% bank card fees. Personally, I also accept Venmo (@C_I_Letbetter) and I know of at least one neighbor who does the same, but I can’t make any promises for the bulk of the neighborhood.
  4. Cash also applies to many off-track vendors. I know Fat Cat’s BBQ will be here early Sunday morning setting up their smoker across the street. If you’re going to get here early, and you should, they can take care of both your breakfast and lunch needs. They’re good people, but they don’t take cards.
  5. DO NOT ask to use the bathroom inside someone’s home. That’s an invasion of privacy none of us like. There are multiple outdoor facilities scattered all over the neighborhood. Be prepared, though, some of them charge as much as $3 per use.
  6. Don’t think you’re going to get out of the neighborhood quickly once the race is over. See that picture up top? That’s what the entire street looks like for nearly two hours once the race is over. You can come and sit in your car or you can tailgate some more. Some people get in their cars and try to leave, but then end up going nowhere and wasting gas. Plan on taking your time. You probably need to drink water and sober up a bit anyway.
  7. Bring an umbrella. The forecast for Sunday says there’s pretty much a 100% chance of rain. The big question is: WHEN? We don’t know. Even Sunday morning, no one’s going to be 100% sure. Expect at least one set of showers Sunday morning, well before race time. As long as they’re done by noon, they should be able to get the track dry by 2:00. Any prolonged rain (more than 30 minutes) after 2:00 could cause for the race to be postponed until Monday.
  8. In case of a rain delay, your race tickets are still good on Monday. Your parking is not. You’ll need to negotiate with your host how much to pay for Monday’s parking.
  9. Bring sunscreen. Even if the skies are overcast, you can still get a sunburn from prolonged exposure. You won’t look any sillier wearing sunscreen than you do with that straw hit bearing the IMS logo.
  10. Consider bringing a change of clothes, especially if you have tickets for the Snake Pit, which promises to be a muddy mess. Even if you’re not in the mud, changing out of your hot, possibly wet, almost definitely smelly clothes will make your ride home more comfortable.

SPECIFIC TO PARKING WITH US

  1. We have limited space. If you want to tailgate to either side of your vehicle, that takes up a spot we might otherwise “lease” for the day. Therefore, we will ask for additional compensation.
  2. No, I don’t share my coffee.
  3. I may park a couple of cars inside the fence. If I do, you’ll have to be extra patient getting out after the race.
  4. PLEASE don’t stick your hand over the fence to pet the dogs. You can’t trust them.
  5. Yes, you may feed the humans, but not the animals (even though they’ll ask with big brown eyes). The dogs are too old and fat for human food. The humans are just hungry. That especially applies to the teenagers.
  6. No, Kat is not here. She has the good sense to leave and not take any of us with her. Which is another reason you may want to feed the humans. We’re probably hungry.
  7. I’m not pulling out the camera this year. I don’t have the stamina for that. I’ll use my phone to take a photo if you want, or use your phone if you don’t want to wait on me to process it. Flashing me your boobs is totally allowable if the kids are not in the yard.

As much as I fuss about the race, I do hope you enjoy the day. Know that every year is a little different, though. Take your time. Plan well ahead. Be flexible, especially with the weather. And don’t come running to me if you get struck by lightning. That’s not part of the track’s evacuation plan.

How To Win The Race [2011]
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Morning Update: 05/23/24
May 23, 2024

All About The Pup [2012 original with AI enhancements]

Walking is making a difference in my afternoons. I’m sleeping through the whole thing and barely waking up enough to eat dinner. On the upside, they make for wonderful father/daughter conversations with Tipper. We talk about all sorts of things such as whether the berries on that tree are safe to eat and how inexcusable it is for people to litter by the railroad tracks. We got in 2.5 miles yesterday and I’m hoping for about the same today, just in a different direction. I want to think that the exercise is doing me good even though I’m not feeling it at the moment.

Kat and G got in a strenuous four-mile hike at the park yesterday afternoon. They can do the uphill and climbing things that Tipper and I can’t do. They also move at a considerably faster pace than I do. Maybe we’ll all come out of the summer feeling a lot better.

That is, assuming we can get my prescriptions filled. The pharmacy my insurance company said to use told Kat quite dismissively “We don’t accept that insurance.” Okay. I messaged my doctor and she sent the script to a different place that’s not nearly as convenient and certainly isn’t within walking distance (sorry, I’m not up to an 8-mile walk). Unfortunately, that puts one more thing on Kat’s already overflowing plate.

Here’s an interesting news story this morning: Keystone Group says 87 burials have been found over six acres of the former Diamond Chain site. A better headline would have been that 87 graves are being moved to another cemetery. What happened is that way back in 1820, a cemetery was designated within a four-acre plot just South and a little West of the city center. By 1860, that cemetery was full. Those who could afford to moved their loved one’s remains to the newly created Crown Hill cemetery further to the West. The rest were covered up and left there. Over the years, slaughterhouses and a bunch of other stuff occupied the land, and then Diamond Chain came along and dominated the sight. The buildings gave the city a strong industrial look back when that type of thing was important.

They had one problem, though: the place was freaking haunted. Gee, I wonder why. Whether you believe in such things or not, I know that the security company hired to watch the place at night couldn’t keep the three-person staff filled. The average longevity of night guards was less than three days. Reports of encounters were frequent. My guess is that anyone walking in that area is even more likely to have an experience now that the graves have been disturbed again. There are far more than 87 graves that need to be moved, but the city says that costs for doing so would exceed 12 million dollars. There’s also the fact that the city appears to be renigging on a multi-million dollar development deal for the site, but that’s a totally different story.

Weather for Sunday is still looking wet. If you’re coming to the race at all, you’re going to want to bring an umbrella along with everything else people cart in and out of there. The Snake Pit is definitely going to be a muddy mess. A heavy round of rain looks to arrive mid-morning which may put a damper on some of the formalities, but they should be out by noon, giving officials time to dry the track. The question is still there for mid-afternoon rain which could be heavier. At the very least, it’s not unreasonable to expect a delayed start and possibly the need to finish the race on Monday. Yes, you can park here both days. Yes, it is going to cost you both days. Have you seen how much food a teenager consumes?

Are we ready for today? No. Are we doing it anyway? Yes.

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Inglorious Unified Reich
May 22, 2024

Inglorious Reich [2011 with AI background]

Tuesday, May 21, the bastard formerly known as the 45th President* of the US, posted a video to the financially struggling social media app he owns containing blatant and intentional Nazi references, most specifically using the phrase “unified Reich” in reference to what the US will become should he win re-election.

Personally, I am of the opinion that he uses tactics like this, posting inflammatory statements and then taking them down, to get people riled up. What it does is reveal how many Americans are actually down for supporting the level of authoritarianism that your grandfathers and great-grandfathers squashed during World War II. Those now-dead American heroes were screaming “never again,” but yet, for America, this is very much Germany, 1938 all over again, and re-electing the indicted one would be the same as electing Hitler. Straight up. No apologies.

But rather than going on a rant of my own, I think it’s more entertaining, and definitely a better use of your time, to let someone else rant for me. Enjoy.

And then, there’s this opinion:

So, you’ve heard the dog whistle. Whatcha gonna do about it? Who has more political balls, you or a neutered dog?

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United War Machine
May 22, 2024

United War Machine [2012 with AI enhancements]

Let’s just go ahead and change the name of the country from the United States of America to the United War Machine. Let’s be real. The one thing that really unites this increasingly third-rate country is that we like war. We like war a lot. It doesn’t even have to be our war. Let someone else go to war and we’ll happily supply them the bombs, guns, planes, tanks, bullets, and in some cases even personnel necessary to fight their war. We just can’t imagine the planet without a couple of wars going on. Imagine how much it would tank our economy if we didn’t have any reason to build the implements of war!

One of the many hundreds of problems with war is that the people engaged in it seem to think that there are no rules. Take Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, for example. His response to some of the horrible things Israeli troops have done since October 7 has been, “That’s just part of war.” The problem is, he’s wrong. There are humanitarian rules to war and everyone’s being very good at breaking them.

Who attempts to take the rule breakers to task? The International Criminal Court. The court was originally created after WWII to try Nazi officials for the unspeakable crimes they had committed during that war. Located in The Hague, Netherlands, the court is responsible for holding everyone accountable for war violations. The goal is to prevent the kind of atrocities experienced in WWII from ever happening again. Sounds like a good thing, right?

Sure, we think it is up until our best friend has a warrant out on their head. Earlier this week, the court applied for arrest warrants for a number of people related to the Hamas/Israel war in Gaza. The way the ICC works is that, unlike warrants here that only need the signature of a friendly judge, prosecutors must first gather a substantial amount of evidence that violations have occurred, a whole freaking panel of judges has to approve the application, or else the warrants are rejected. There is little chance for error. The rules are unfathomably tight. Here are a couple of critical accusations made in the application:

On the basis of evidence collected and examined by my Office, I have reasonable grounds to believe that Yahya SINWAR (Head of the Islamic Resistance Movement (“Hamas”) in the Gaza Strip), Mohammed Diab Ibrahim AL-MASRI, more commonly known as DEIF (Commander-in-Chief of the military wing of Hamas, known as the Al-Qassam Brigades), and Ismail HANIYEH (Head of Hamas Political Bureau) bear criminal responsibility for the following war crimes and crimes against humanity committed on the territory of Israel and the State of Palestine (in the Gaza strip) from at least 7 October 2023: 

  • Extermination as a crime against humanity, contrary to article 7(1)(b) of the Rome Statute;
  • Murder as a crime against humanity, contrary to article 7(1)(a), and as a war crime, contrary to article 8(2)(c)(i);
  • Taking hostages as a war crime, contrary to article 8(2)(c)(iii);
  • Rape and other acts of sexual violence as crimes against humanity, contrary to article 7(1)(g), and also as war crimes pursuant to article 8(2)(e)(vi) in the context of captivity;
  • Torture as a crime against humanity, contrary to article 7(1)(f), and also as a war crime, contrary to article 8(2)(c)(i), in the context of captivity;
  • Other inhumane acts as a crime against humanity, contrary to article 7(l)(k), in the context of captivity;
  • Cruel treatment as a war crime contrary to article 8(2)(c)(i), in the context of captivity; and
  • Outrages upon personal dignity as a war crime, contrary to article 8(2)(c)(ii), in the context of captivity.

My Office submits that the war crimes alleged in these applications were committed in the context of an international armed conflict between Israel and Palestine, and a non-international armed conflict between Israel and Hamas running in parallel. We submit that the crimes against humanity charged were part of a widespread and systematic attack against the civilian population of Israel by Hamas and other armed groups pursuant to organisational policies. Some of these crimes, in our assessment, continue to this day.

That addresses the crimes committed by Hamas. You’d think everyone would be happy about that. But wait, the prosecutor had more to say, and this is the part that has US politicians miffed.

On the basis of evidence collected and examined by my Office, I have reasonable grounds to believe that Benjamin NETANYAHU, the Prime Minister of Israel, and Yoav GALLANT, the Minister of Defence of Israel, bear criminal responsibility for  the following war crimes and crimes against humanity committed on the territory of the State of Palestine (in the Gaza strip) from at least 8 October 2023:

  • Starvation of civilians as a method of warfare as a war crime contrary to article 8(2)(b)(xxv) of the Statute;
  • Wilfully causing great suffering, or serious injury to body or health contrary to article 8(2)(a)(iii), or cruel treatment as a war crime contrary to article 8(2)(c)(i);
  • Wilful killing contrary to article 8(2)(a)(i), or Murder as a war crime contrary to article 8(2)(c)(i);
  • Intentionally directing attacks against a civilian population as a war crime contrary to articles 8(2)(b)(i), or 8(2)(e)(i);
  • Extermination and/or murder contrary to articles 7(1)(b) and 7(1)(a), including in the context of deaths caused by starvation, as a crime against humanity;
  • Persecution as a crime against humanity contrary to article 7(1)(h);
  • Other inhumane acts as crimes against humanity contrary to article 7(1)(k).

My Office submits that the war crimes alleged in these applications were committed in the context of an international armed conflict between Israel and Palestine, and a non-international armed conflict between Israel and Hamas (together with other Palestinian Armed Groups) running in parallel. We submit that the crimes against humanity charged were committed as part of a widespread and systematic attack against the Palestinian civilian population pursuant to State policy. These crimes, in our assessment, continue to this day.

These allegations are backed by substantial evidence and interviews with people involved, deep with corroborating witnesses on both sides. This isn’t a witch hunt. This is how a fair investigation transpires. After months of work with prosecutors looking at both Hamas and Israel, taking everything into consideration, came to the conclusion that these crimes were and continue to be committed. How is this not a no-brainer?

Yet, the US, regardless of political affiliation, has one hell of a blind spot when it comes to Israel. I fail to understand it at all. Yes, what happened to Jews during WWII was unprecedented, but it does not equate to a blank check for the future. And, if we’re being fair, Netanyahu was never the dominant choice for Prime Minister in the first place. Israel had to hold five elections within a four-year period before the old fart could cobble together enough of a coalition to form a government. This is not the same young “Bibi” Netanyahu that won the election for the first time in 1996. This is an old, authoritarian prick who wants to dominate simply because he thinks he has a right to dominate. He needs to go away and let someone more reasonable guide the people of Israel.

But no, he’s not going away and the US, being the country ever obsessed with war, is doing their best to prop him up. President Biden called the allegations “outrageous,” and then followed with, “Whatever this prosecutor might imply, there is no equivalence — none — between Israel and Hamas.”

US Secretary of State Blinken added, “Hamas is a brutal terrorist organization that carried out the worst massacre of Jews since the Holocaust and is still holding dozens of innocent people hostage, including Americans.”

Okay, Mr. Blinken, as of May13, only 1,478 Israeli citizens have been killed compared to 35,562 Palestinian civilians, according to UNWRA. Uhm who, precisely, is carrying out a massacre? Are you fucking listening to the nonsense coming out of your mouth?

Oh, but it gets worse. GOP Senator and relentless asshole, Tom Cotton, wrote that “My colleagues and I look forward to make sure neither Khan, his associates nor their families will ever set foot again in the United States.”

Hey, jackass, guess who assisted in the ICC’s investigation: none other than Amal Clooney. You know George’s wife and one hell of a fucking attorney. Here’s what she had to say:

“More than four months ago, the Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court asked me to assist him with evaluating evidence of suspected war crimes and crimes against humanity in Israel and Gaza. I agreed and joined a panel of international legal experts to undertake this task. Together we have engaged in an extensive process of evidence review and legal analysis including at the International Criminal Court in The Hague.

The Panel and its academic advisers are experts in international law, including international humanitarian law and international criminal law. Two Panel members are appointed as expert ‘Special Advisers’ by the Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court. Two Panel members are former judges at criminal tribunals in The Hague.

Despite our diverse personal backgrounds, our legal findings are unanimous. We have unanimously determined that the Court has jurisdiction over crimes committed in Palestine and by Palestinian nationals. We unanimously conclude that there are reasonable grounds to believe that Hamas leaders Yahya Sinwar, Mohammed Deif and Ismail Haniyeh have committed war crimes and crimes against humanity, including hostage-taking, murder and crimes of sexual violence. We unanimously conclude that there are reasonable grounds to believe that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Israeli Defense Minister Yoav Gallant have committed war crimes and crimes against humanity including starvation as a method of warfare, murder, persecution and extermination.

I served on this Panel because I believe in the rule of law and the need to protect civilian lives. The law that protects civilians in war was developed more than 100 years ago and it applies in every country in the world regardless of the reasons for a conflict. As a human rights lawyer, I will never accept that one child’s life has less value than another’s. I do not accept that any conflict should be beyond the reach of the law, nor that any perpetrator should be above the law. So I support the historic step that the Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court has taken to bring justice to victims of atrocities in Israel and Palestine.

Today, my colleagues and I have published an op-ed and a detailed legal report of the Panel’s findings. My approach is not to provide a running commentary of my work but to let the work speak for itself. I hope that witnesses will cooperate with the ongoing investigation. And I hope that justice will prevail in a region that has already suffered too much.”

Amal Clooney
Barrister and Co-Founder of the Clooney Foundation for Justice

Shut the fuck up, Tom.

Here’s the thing, neither the US nor Israel signed onto the Rome Statute under which the ICC was established. Why? Because both countries (and several others) are fucking scared of the concept of non-biased justice. No US politician wants to be held accountable for their actions (hence, the chaos over someone’s multiple indictments). All we want is the freedom to support war, no matter how horrible it is, wherever we want, whenever we want. We don’t want anyone telling us that the wars we’re supporting are unjust.

However, as bloated as our national ego is, we’re not the only ones on the planet. Earlier today, Norway, Ireland, and Spain recognized the State of Palestine. Other countries are considering the move, such as France, though they’re not quite ready to commit. This is a big deal. The rules of engagement change if Palestine is recognized internationally as its own country. As that begins to happen, UN rules start to apply making the continued aggression by Israel all the more illegal and could potentially open the door for UN troops to fight on behalf of Palestine against Israel.

Understand, there are a truckload of steps that have to take place before anything like that can happen and we can all hope that a permanent cease-fire can be negotiated before there’s any reason to insert UN troops in the region. However, the possibility is there and will grow closer with each country that decides to recognize Palestine.

And for every day that there is no cease-fire, who do we blame? Look in a fucking mirror. The US, the United War Machine, is the country standing right next to Israel encouraging them to keep up their illegal and inhumane tactics.

I haven’t recited the Pledge of Allegiance in several years. This is why. I cannot, in good conscience, pledge a damn thing to a country that actively courts and provides for the global extermination of our own species. That I was born here and live here does not obligate me to support such idiocy. Rather, my citizenship requires that I yell, scream, and do everything within my power to stop it. Legally.

The problem with this situation is that when the bullshit is spread so thick in every direction, who the hell am I supposed to vote for? None of the major candidates will stand up to Israel. None of them have a spine.

Maybe you have an idea.

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Cancer Update  /  Current Issues  /  Morning Update  /  Personal
Morning Update (finally): 05/22/24
May 22, 2024

Morning By The Lake [2013]

Finally, we have internet service back! It’s been a long week without it and we are thankful that I can communicate with everyone in a timely manner once again. It has not been any great delight not being able to read the news, check on friends, or use necessary apps like MyChart and any form of mobile banking. I accidentally double-tipped one of my Lyft drivers on Monday because I couldn’t see whether the first tip had gone through or not! I hate to think what chaos would have descended if we had a smart home!

Good news and bad news on the health front. My white blood cell count is 6.6, which is right smack in the middle of the healthy range. We still have to take chemo meds until next March, but as long as there are no hiccups between now and then, we shouldn’t need any additional treatment afterward. The persistent fatigue may be a permanent feature, though. On the downside, my A1c is 11.7! If you understand how the pancreas works with insulin, you know that any over 10 means it has pretty much thrown up its hands and gone home. This is critical. Metformin, which I’ve taken for six years, now makes me terribly sick, so that’s no longer an option. Most other diabetic meds don’t work if your A1c is over 10. We’ve one med left to try, but goddammit, the pharmacy that the insurance company said to use won’t take my insurance. So, I still don’t have the meds. The batteries went out on my glucose meter as well, so I have to get those replaced. If this med doesn’t work, the next step is insulin shots.

Tipper graduated from middle school last Friday. Her biggest joy was not seeing most of her classmates again. Ever. Her boyfriend, Gio, is one of only two other people going to the same high school as she is next fall, so for the majority of her classmates this was a final farewell. No sad eyes there. There were some tears among some favorite teachers. One gave her flowers, another a sweet card. What was perhaps telling, though, is that the one teacher who had been with at the school all nine years, teaching them in kindergarten and first grade and then eventually moving into administration, is leaving education entirely. She said she’s not sure what direction she’s going to go, but it’s definitely not education. Sadly, there are a lot of teachers making the same decision.

We’re all making an effort to get in more exercise this summer. Kat, G, and I went on what was supposed to be a three-mile hike on Sunday, and for G it was exactly that. He ran on ahead of us and “parkoured” his way around the muddy and swampy areas. Neither Kat nor I are exactly the parkour types, so we attempted to go around the muddy areas and that’s when we got lost. We thought for certain that the trail had to be “right up there,” but it never was. We ended up having to backtrack and still go through the mud. I also had a problem with some fallen trees. One was just too high, caught the toe of my boot, and sent me face-first to the ground. I’m tempted to say, “See, this is what happens when you try to exercise out in nature. Nature fights back.”

Since Monday was consumed with doctor visits, there was no additional walking. Yesterday, however, when I discovered that the batteries on my glucose meter were dead, Tipper and I walked the mile in each direction to the nearest convenience store looking for replacements. Had we come straight home, that would have been two miles, right? But Tipper wanted to show me a place on the bus route where a tree had fallen on a house. That added an extra mile. Within the 90 minutes that we were gone, the outdoor temperature went from 69 to 82 with plenty of humidity. Even with drinks in hand, we were both exhausted by the time we got home. We’ll make a slightly longer walk to a Dollar General this morning, so that will be another 2.5 miles. It’s cloudy and cooler today, but the humidity is still daunting.

I guess storms kinda moved through the area last night. They had pretty much run out of steam by the time they got here. It was a lot of wind and thunder but very little rain. There remains a limited chance of isolated showers this afternoon, perhaps more on Friday, making a mess of Carb Day at the track. Of course, what everyone is watching is a line of storms that could arrive Sunday afternoon, washing out the race. The track has uncanny luck about that sort of thing, though, so the best bet is that enough of the race gets in for it to be counted as complete.

There are a number of issues I need to catch up on this morning. Be on the lookout for additional posts later today. There are some people out there who are doing us all dirty, and I’m guessing the global IQ has probably fallen below 70 based on the way our politicians are behaving.

Thank you for hanging in there with us!

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Current Issues  /  Morning Update  /  Personal
Update: 05/18/24
May 18, 2024

Elegant Shades of Grey [2011 with AI adjustments]

There is no way to know how long I’ll have an internet connection so I’m going to type fast and try to get everything in. Sometime early Thursday afternoon, our internet service went out. My initial thought was that our router needed resetting, so we did that. When that didn’t work, I rebooted the computer. It was at that point I realized my phone wasn’t getting data service (we can make calls and send texts, but that’s it). We went through every logistics we had available to us but to no avail. So, we decided to wait and see if it came back overnight.

No, it didn’t. So, I called Verizon tech support. Verison, like a lot of other companies, doesn’t like you calling them. They’d rather you use online sources, especially AI-powered chatbots that don’t utilize humans. But when I can’t access the fucking online sources, then I have no choice but to call. Of course, they make that as difficult as possible, trying to address your problem using more bots. When I finally reached a living, breathing human, she took us through the exact same processes we had tried before. She made us change the location of the box so that it was right in the window, rather than next to it where it has worked beautifully for the past three years. That didn’t work, either. She then ran diagnostics on her side. That didn’t work.

For the next hour and a half, we went back and forth with her looking things up on her side, trying her best to figure out what could be causing the problem. At times, we would seem to have a solution, and then, almost immediately, it would go out again. She ultimately didn’t have any choice but to open a ticket for the support team, but she did so with the warning that it could take “several days” for them to find a solution.

Just to make it burn worse, my next bill came while we were talking. We went the rest of the day without any connectivity on any of the computers or laptops, and very little on the phones.

Yesterday evening we attended Tipper’s 8th grade graduation. I have a few low-quality pictures but I haven’t been able to transfer them to the computer yet. The lighting was shit and, of course, the room was crowded, so the pictures are less than wonderful. Nonetheless, she graduated, we’re done with Enlace, and are moving on to PPHS. We got ice cream and went to the park to finish the day.

Still no Internet service.

Then, shortly after 9:30, I looked up and realized that we had service again. I did a speed test and it was actually workable. However, it’s been on and off since then. Maybe I’ll get this posted. Maybe I won’t. There are no guarantees.

I’m still pissed. I pay good money for this service and any outage of more than a few minutes is unacceptable. Everything I do depends on the internet. My ability to get a ride to the doctor Monday morning depends on the Internet. Ordering groceries depends on the Internet because I don’t have a fucking car to drive to the store myself. I’m supposed to upload documents to Medicare for approval but I can’t download them from the bank without service. This is fucking with my entire life at a level that I do not consider tolerable. Ask the kids: I’m not fun to be around this morning.

So, this is where we are right now. I’ll try to publish this the next moment I see that we have service. Beyond that, I can’t make any promises that anything or anyone is going to survive.

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