I feel that anything I post today should be short. The challenge is whether I can make it sweet. I’m not sure that’s possible. 2024 has been the worst year since 2016 and for many of the same reasons. The difference now is we know what kind of horrors to expect next year and more people are openly supportive of ruining people’s lives in the name of some warped identity crisis.
We are reminded that life has been worse. Today is the 20th anniversary of the Indian Ocean tsunami that killed over 230,000 people. All the wars put together didn’t kill that many people this year. Sure, Mother Nature gave it a helluva shot and I dare say there are parts of the Carolinas that will never recover. Still, if natural disasters were our only worry we’d be in pretty good shape.
We’re all tired of political news, which could be a problem going into 2025. We’re being led by narcissistic billionaires. If a statement or action doesn’t give them enough attention, they go with something bigger, something too large to be ignored. Attempting to ignore them simply causes their behavior to be worse. We cannot live in peace when we are led by people who survive on chaos.
A baby froze to death overnight in Gaza as Israel and Hamas trade accusations of ceasefire delays. This was an infant girl, but… what if it had been named Jesus? We conveniently ignore that “Bethlehem in Judea” is what we now know as the West Bank. We also ignore that there was no Roman tax decree and that if there is any truth to the story at all, it happened in June, not December. What’s worse is that many celebrate the birth of an immigrant 2,000 years ago while simultaneously denying aid to immigrants now. More than 10,000 migrants died this year trying to reach Spain by sea. If you worship the one allegedly born in a manger but turn away the others just like him, your faith is merely a mythological fantasy.
I’m seeing a lot of “The Year in Pictures” posts from the news outlets. I’m not looking. I don’t need to look. There are already too many images from this year imprinted on my brain; images of people screaming hate, pictures of death and destruction, photos of chaos taking over the world. I don’t need to be reminded of the disaster that we created for ourselves.
Perhaps we’ll just stop here for today. I’m not finding anything genuinely sweet, even among the recipes for cookies. For those who have today off from work, please love those around you. And should you encounter those who are working today, by all means, extend kindness and courtesy to them. We all need more kindness in our lives. All of us.
We wish you Merry
in whatever you choose
to celebrate today.
We wish you Merry
however you choose
to celebrate today.
We wish you Merry
wherever you choose
to celebrate today.
We wish you Merry.
All of you.
The Sanctuary on Penn, an old church building converted to an event center, is on fire and likely a complete loss. The fire started around 5:30 this morning. No one has been injured (so far), but the building is likely a complete loss. I know I’ve shot there, several others have shot there, and it’s a fairly popular wedding venue. This is a significant loss for the city and our hearts go out to everyone affected.
The FAA has grounded all American Airlines flights in the US because of a ‘technical glitch.’ The airline requested the grounding after it was discovered that the technical issue was system-wide and could affect every plane in the fleet. This comes on one of the busiest travel days of the year. As of this moment (8:30 AM EST), there is no projection on when service will be restored. This inevitably has a ripple effect for all other US airlines as passengers miss connecting flights and fewer airport gates are available. Our thoughts are with all those flight/gate attendants who have to break the bad news and put up with bad attitudes. [Update: the planes are back in the air as of 8:40 AM EST.]
Christmas Eve is usually a pretty quiet news day. That’s not the case this year. I woke up this morning to the news that France has a new government. Global hunger crisis deepens as major nations skimp on aid. Starbucks strike to expand to over 300 US stores on Christmas Eve, union says. Bill Clinton Is Hospitalized After Developing a Fever. There’s a lot more. There always is. For the majority of the 8 billion people inhabiting this planet, this is not a cheerful day. There’s no Peace, very little Hope, and a stark shortage of Love.
I’m not going to pretend that I have a solution because, between you and me, no such thing exists. The number of people on this rock is unsustainable and has been for quite a while now. To address the issues that come with overpopulation, governments take a more authoritarian stance. Authoritarianism, in all its guises, results in the violation of human rights. For example, an Arkansas law that allowed librarians and booksellers to be sued if they let a minor have the ‘wrong’ book, was rightly overturned yesterday. The attempt to ban books is key to the authoritarian way of governing.
People feel as though the world is out of control, yet they keep electing leaders who are only adding to the chaos. The US, France, Germany, Bangladesh, and Sudan are just a few of the places where new governments are likely to make 2025 more miserable than the year we’re finishing. Funny how we never realize the degree to which we participate in our own destruction.
Here in central Indiana, we don’t even get a White Christmas. WTF is up with that?
Here’s what I know: animals don’t judge you. Well, except for horses. Horses judge you because they are born with the realization that they’re better than humans. Horses judge you harshly. Be glad that Santa Claus isn’t a horse; no one would get presents. Other animals fall into two camps, though. Those that want you to leave them the fuck alone, and those who insist that your lap, your computer, or that book you’re reading, are suitable places for them to curl up and get hugs. The second group is the one you want to embrace today. Hug them. Pet them. Give them treats. That is more likely to give you pleasure than anything else you would do today.
The New York Times is touting a new book that comes out today that encourages us to not worry about the decisions other people make. Obviously, I’ve not read the book. I rather doubt that I will. The premise, though, is interesting. If someone wants to stand out in the rain, let them. If someone wants to do something that seems to make no sense to you, let them. “If you stop trying to manage other people’s opinions, actions and moods, then your well-being and relationships will improve. Friends hanging out without you? Let them! Relatives griping about you? Let them! Your date ghosts you? Let them! Don’t stress about what you cannot control; focus on what you can.”
There are limits to such a philosophy. The US president-elect wants to buy Greenland? No, don’t let them. Your four-year-old wants to poop in the middle of the living room floor? No, don’t let them. Your boss is trying to force everyone to work overtime on Christmas Eve? No, don’t let them. We control more than we realize.
Perhaps what needs to happen is that we become more authoritarian over our own lives. No, you don’t get to tell me what to do or what to believe. I am the only one who rules my life. No, I’m not going to play by someone’s misguided laws.
No, that results in anarchy and that doesn’t work either.
Like it or not, we are participants in society. We determine what we allow society to tell us, where we want to plug in, and what we want to avoid. What we do affects our society even if we can’t see it. What happens in our society affects us. This is how it’s been for the past 40,000 years or so. Don’t expect it to change just because you may not like the current accommodations.
If you want to be happy today, then do the things that make you happy! Be with family, eat good food, take long naps, watch movies, eat more food, and take another nap. We can worry about the fallout come January 2.
Perhaps bears have the best idea: store up plenty of fat in advance, bring the family together, everyone sleep as much as you can, feed when you need to, shit in the woods, and when you’re finally refreshed come spring, wreak havoc everywhere you go.
Whichever path you choose, I hope you have an enjoyable Christmas Eve.
HAPPY FESTIVUS! Today, this December 23, we are putting special emphasis on the airing of grievances in hopes that a Festivus Miracle makes them all go the fuck away. I know this has been an especially disappointing year for all of us. Airing grievances now, before disapproving relatives are present, allows us to clear the air, look hopelessly toward the new year, and make sure we have appropriate staples for the coming apocalypse. I’ll start, you add your grievances in the comments.
I could do more, but it’s already mid-morning and I think the dogs want back out. Your turn. Don’t bother being nice.
Unhinged. Completely off my rocker. Probably shouldn’t be allowed out in public, certainly not on my own. I’m out of sync with the universe and I’m feeling pressure to scream. I won’t scream because it would take the kids. The same children who were on their phones at five o’clock in the goddamn morning. Punishment? They have to live with me, isn’t that punishment enough? I’m being silly. Or am I? Frankie is certainly silly, sitting here with a stopped-up nose, trying to clean that one spot on his butt he can’t quite reach, knocking medicine bottles off the desk, sniffing at my coffee, and then making a face accusing me of being the crazy one.
You want to know what’s really crazy? A pickup truck driver ramming into a mall in Texas. Is it a trend or was he simply drunk? We’ll never know because the cops killed him before he had a chance to tell his story. His actions injured five, but killed no one, unlike the similar event in Germany. The German monster has been nuts for a while, was known by police, killed six, and wounded over 200, but he is still alive. US cops are quick to kill people here. They know nothing’s going to happen. Few cops are ever prosecuted for murder. We just assume they stopped something worse from happening. We’re gullible like that.
You know what else is crazy? AI may have claimed its first homicide. Suchir Balaji, the former OpenAI engineer to blew the whistle on possible copyright violations in ChatGPT, was found dead in his San Francisco apartment. He was 26. At the moment, the cops are leaning toward suicide. There’s no note, though. Friends and family say suicide is out of character. What did the AI do? Were there threats being made? Was he being harassed? Did he cross the wrong bot? There’s little question that the problems Balaji raised in October were creating a significant legal hurdle for OpenAI. Who was prompting whom? I don’t think this should be treated as run-of-the-mill suicide.
And then, there’s old-school lunacy, like when the president-elect, who has no real power before January 20, says he may demand that Panama turn over the canal to the US. Mind you, Panama is a sovereign nation. The canals have belonged to Panama since December 31, 1999 thanks to a treaty signed by then-President Jimmy Carter. The treaty allows the US to “protect the neutrality” of the canal, but keep its hands off operations. The incoming president has ZERO legal grounds and even thinking that he can tell Panama to do anything is the same kind of Imperialist thinking that doomed the British Empire, back when that was a thing. Maybe he’ll ask deClerk to bring Apartheid back to South Africa next. I’m sure that would make the Musk family happy. [Fortunately, deClerk is dead. I double-checked to make sure.]
Oh, but there’s so much more crazy to behold this holiday season. Have you heard of Christmas Adam? Yes, this is something invented by illiterate evangelicals because “Adam came before Eve.” I know it sounds like a bad joke, doesn’t it? But it’s a real thing. Apparently, Christmas Adam is celebrated on the 23rd, you know, before Christmas Eve. Yeah, everyone knows that ‘Eve’ is short for evening. They’re just rolling in the ignorance of it all. Some churches are even having special services. While some are saying it’s ‘just a joke,’ not everyone is laughing. There are a large number of people who take Festivus pretty seriously and that’s supposed to be on December 23. Perhaps Festivus celebrants can mention Christmas Adam in their airing of grievances.
Do you know what is making me crazy? Knowing that I might run out of pet food before any new money comes in. Knowing that I have absolutely nothing to give Kat or any of my adult children. Knowing that I’ll spend most of Christmas day (and all the days before and after) at home, alone, again, because of chemo. Not having any of the holiday candies or cookies that permeated my childhood. Listening to what sometimes sounds like voices in the heating vents (there are no voices in the heating vents). Going on week 8 or something of this stupid headache. Not understanding why six animals, including both dogs, are suddenly staring at my window. The lack of coffee on tap. Being hungry but too dizzy to risk cooking breakfast.
I think I’m going to embrace this insanity for a while. There’s no one here to stop me. I’m just here doing stupid shit.
I almost dropped my coffee mug. That’s how today’s going. My left hand is so weak that I can’t lift the full mug with one hand. This is my third consecutive winter holiday season while on chemo. While the blood tests show the cancer in remission, there’s still the need to make sure it stays that way. So, for another year, I’m on the sidelines. No parties. No get-togethers. Hell, I haven’t even been able to get Kat a gift. I feel somewhat like I’m sitting inside a well-refrigerated snow globe, watching the holidays pass around me. They look like fun, but they’re not part of my reality.
The holidays are hitting differently, and by the way, for you ‘war-on-Christmas’ types, Hannukah and Christmas are on the same day this year. If you’re only saying ‘Merry Christmas,’ you’re being rude, possibly anti-Semitic. That being said, how does one gift-wrap a latke? I have potatoes, maybe I’ll give Kat food.
I’m not really in the mood to cook, though. Holiday baking is out of the question. Holiday treats take time, care, and patience. I have none of those traits at the moment. I also don’t have the ingredients. Not enough recipes come with sugar-free options and as much as I’m tempted to say, “It’s the holidays, fuck it,” my sugar levels haven’t been level so over-indulging probably isn’t the smartest move. Still, I’m really jonesing for some good, old-fashioned fudge—all the flavors. And Aunt Bill’s Brown Candy, Talk about a handbreaker! I remember helping Mother make this, it was always my favorite. The amount of work it takes, though, is enormous and if I can’t hold a coffee mug I damn sure don’t need to be messing with a cast iron skillet.
There are silver linings if one chooses to mine them. For example, there’s absolutely zero chance I’m going to be hurt or killed by a vehicle driving into a holiday bazaar. I won’t pull a hamstring while out running in a min-marathon somewhere. I’m not adversely affected by the sudden rise in egg prices. Life could be, and has been, much harder than it is.
Still, if what we’re looking for in this season is Peace on Earth, we’re not likely to find it around here. Get a load of the headlines this morning:
With headlines like that, you know there are too many tears being shed for anyone to have a ‘happy’ holiday. If you are someplace warm, you are fortunate. If you have food, you are well off. If you have clean clothes, you are privileged. If you have coffee, you are comparatively rich.
The plight of immigrants working dangerous food service jobs should probably be getting more attention than it is. We are so woefully ignorant of the millions of jobs filled by immigrants. If we begin deporting them, as the president-elect plans to do, the empty jobs will still be there. Who’s going to fill them? How much are you willing to pay for frozen pizza? People in Oregon are getting letters telling them to snitch on neighbors who ‘might’ be illegal. No, they’re not from any government organization. Snitching on immigrants is lower than cheating on a spouse, in my opinion.
Perhaps some form of holiday spirit will arrive without necessitating a visit from historical specters. I have cats aggressively reminding me that petting them lowers my blood pressure. The dogs are advocating for more naps. Can you wrap a nap? I could be a professional napper at this point. Need a nap? Don’t worry, I’ll take one for you!
Oh, with both Big Lots and Party City announcing that they’re closing, make sure you stock up on the cheap stuff if you can. I have a bad feeling about the future of ‘discount’ stores.
I think that’s enough for today. I hear there are football games running around here and there. Maybe I’ll find one.
“Snow Possible Tonight.” That was how my phone greeted me this morning. Of course, it will probably be less than an inch and won’t stick around long. I guess it’s the Alpha Male version of snow. I tried to work in something about a cybertruck, but we all know those lousy examples of engineering don’t drive well in snow anyway.
A man in New York found a mastodon jaw in his garden. I have questions. Like, what kind of gardening was he doing that uncovers dinosaur fossils? I know some things like bushes and trees have to be planted pretty deep, but there’s a limit. Or maybe there’s a big dog in the neighborhood who found the whole mastodon and is hiding it in pieces for later munching.
MacKenzie Scott has given away another $2 billion. She’s setting a unique example in what is largely a male-dominated field of billionaire philanthropy. The boys say they’re paying attention. None of them have yet to match the amounts Ms. Scott is giving away. Billionaires, like to talk big about “giving back to the community,” but getting them to actually do anything, is difficult unless they see a tax break looming at the end.
Human Rights Watch says Israel’s restriction of water supply in Gaza amounts to acts of genocide. I wonder if our children will ask why we didn’t do anything to stop it. Will our grandchildren see us as complicit in this wanton murder of people? If we’ve done our job of teaching them well, they will ask. Now’s the time to start working on your answer.
China is getting more heavily involved in local US politics. Local leaders don’t have their guard up and are easily influenced. Today’s mayor may be next year’s Congressperson. As much as anything, they want to keep tabs on dissident Chinese people living in the US. This should be scary, but maybe we’re so tired of scary politics that we don’t care anymore.
We’re at that time of year when there are insane amounts of useless trivia. Are you prepared to dance through the holidays? There are things you need to know before you blunder your way to the dance floor. Apparently, the definition of a New York movie has changed. And who doesn’t need another article about holiday gift-giving? The delivery window is narrow, so you might want to act now.
Such is life. Even with coffee, it’s just kinda ‘meh.’
One week from today: planned chaos. Those who aren’t preparing for chaos either live completely alone or don’t have the experience to know better. December 25 permeates all cultures, regardless of geography or religion. One is either participating in the chaos or busily affected by the chaos. No one wants to work that day but questions why everything is closed. All month we’re tolerating the endless sounds of songs extolling the virtues of love, peace, and harmony, but when the day actually arrives we get none of those. We get chaos.
Why? We don’t know how to let others be happy. A child unwraps their first-ever holiday gift and proceeds to put the wrapping paper in their mouth. We know when our children are actively tasting everything. So, why do we wrap their gifts? Who is that for? Certainly not the baby. Take the wrapping paper away and the baby cries. Hello, chaos. A teenager doesn’t want to go to the family event where their grandfather is present. “Oh, c’mon, it’s your family. You have to go!” Hello, chaos. Now a surly teen is staring at their phone and objecting when told to give their grandfather a hug, causing a scene.
Then, 5 family members are found dead at a Utah home, and a 17-year-old is hospitalized with a gunshot wound. Yeah, police are assuming the kid did it. Communication is difficult because the teen apparently tried suicide and missed. Why? He wasn’t happy… what fueled their unhappiness is rather irrelevant at this point.
I’m not leaving out the possibility that some people don’t know how to be happy, and their dissatisfaction with everything fuels chaos for everyone around them. This is what makes for tyrannical leaders. They’ll punish entire people groups in an attempt to find the happiness they can’t appreciate.
This is a strange time of year. First comes this headline: Nestle launches protein shots for US weight-loss drug users. And directly under that, is this one: US FDA warns online vendors selling unapproved weight-loss drugs.
For years, those of a certain age have laughed about the futility of that school exercise where students hid under their desks in preparation for a nuclear strike. Crazy, right? But, we like to feel safe even when we aren’t. Sales of nuclear bunkers are increasing. They’ll keep you as safe as your school desk.
One week. Humpday Holiday.
The first morning after is impossible. You wake up hoping it was all just a dream. The inevitable jolt of reality hits harder than it did yesterday. Denial is more difficult. The US is the most dangerous place in the world for going to school. Yes, bombs drop on people in Gaza. Schoolchildren in Ukraine have had to stop classes because of the danger. But those are areas of declared war. The enemy doesn’t know the names of the people they’re killing. Here, a boy stabs a girl to death as she walks to school. In Wisconsin, it’s an upset 15-year-old girl who kills another student and a teacher, then shoots several others before turning the gun on herself. And just like that, more families have joined the list of those waking up on what should be a school day and realizing that nothing’s ever going to be the same again.
There have been 323 shootings at K-12 schools in the country this year. Texas, Louisiana, and Maryland have the most. They range from small towns to large cities, both public schools and private. When our children leave for school each morning, we have no guarantee that they are safe. We jump when the phone rings and our heart drops when we see that it’s the school that’s calling. When you’re braced for the potential that something has happened to your child, them having a D in History class isn’t such a big deal anymore. You’re thankful that they’re still breathing.
The Associated Press released its list of ‘influential’ people who died this year. Of course, there’s always some old film star that passes during the last five days of the year, but the list is largely complete. You’re not on it and neither am I. Chances are pretty good that we never will be on one of those lists. What passes as being ‘influential’ does not mean that one is a good person. For many on that list, talent triumphed over character. There are no school shooting victims on the list. Apparently, our children are not ‘influential’ enough.
The kids are not okay. Tests show math skills are in decline. Whether you like math or not, this is important because math helps develop critical thinking skills. And while there are plenty of opinions about education, the fact remains that we’re letting the kids down in more ways than anyone can count. The curricula are insufficient. Arts programs that aid cognitive learning are non-existent. Over seven million students have Individual Education Plans (IEPs) for specific education needs. Their nutrition sucks. Each day 47 US students are diagnosed with cancer. And perhaps most insane of all, we’re actively debating the efficacy of the vaccines that have all but eliminated polio, smallpox, and many other childhood diseases. If we’re wilfully creating this environment for our kids, do we even love them at all? Do we care if they come home from school alive? Our actions and our words don’t match.
I have more years in the past than I do in the future. I probably won’t see the day when this year’s kindergarten class is running the country or the world. But then, that’s assuming that there’s still something to run. The world doesn’t need government if there are no people to govern.
The planet goes on spinning. A self-induced extinction event might help clear the air. Literally.
Tuesday coffee hits differently.
Here we are just ten days before that Xmas ritual of trees and gifts and food and candy. There are places to go, things to buy, and wonder why all of these prices are so high. Worry for some, this year might be their last. Excited for mothers whose due date has passed. Hoping that no one ends up in a cast. The weather is lousy, too warm or too cold. The days are much shorter this year, I am told.
Loss in a family hurts worse at this time. A cyclist was killed in a hit-and-run. 2 people found shot on Indy’s northeast side. Teens killed in a car ride, driving too fast. Their presents are purchased and under the tree. Do you open, return, or just leave them be?
Filipina who won a last-minute reprieve from Indonesian firing squad prepares to fly home. What more can one give a person than life?
There are still drones above New Jersey. No one knows why. Cue 50’s sci-fi music. If they’ve not zapped anyone yet, it’s probably not going to happen.
China has an erotic clothing capital. Who the fuck knew? Will it survive being tariffed?
Conan O’Brien’s parents died three days apart. No one, anywhere, is ready for that level of loss.
Can anyone find the best-fitting jeans?
Did everyone see yesterday’s rain? Facebook removed the link three times because they thought it was spam. There’s no accounting for taste from an AI bot.
Are we crazy? Do we care? We could be typing in our underwear. All of these cats make it difficult to see. I wonder what makes them attracted to me. Medicines fly off the desk with a swat. The light from that lamp was illuminating thought.
More coffee then waffles with sugar-free syrup. Nothing that makes sense rhymes with syrup. Stirrup.
Perhaps the greatest threat to all of humanity is how heavily invested we are in the mythologies that shape our culture. We allow our mythologies to supersede law. We allow mythologies to shape our political views. We even allow mythologies to tell us what love is and who deserves it. Mythologies have such a heavy place in world culture that I wonder if we have the slightest grasp on reality at all.
I’m in an argumentative mood this morning as I’m trying to solve for myself what is the appropriate response to world events. Normally, that might result in an incredibly long missive, but I slept on my left hand some strange sort of way and the pain of moving my fingers to type is offputting. It’s also trash day and I don’t have ours out by the curb yet, so I can’t spend too much time in explanations.
Sitting in my inbox this morning was an email from the Social Security Administration letting me know that I will automatically be enrolled in Medicare on my 65th birthday. The email attempts to encourage me to learn about the program now so that I can make an informed decision when the time comes. That almost sounds reasonable, and I certainly will be taking a closer look at the program.
The problem is that I keep seeing headlines about Musk and Ramaswamy wanting to gut Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. What’s going on here? Mythology. The two DOGE members are creating a mythology for their non-existent organization to push the illegal concept that they have any power at all. They don’t. They aren’t a real government department. They don’t have government funding. They are simply two rich guys throwing around an acronym trying to get their way. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Mythology.
[NOTE: AT THIS POINT, EVERYTHING I’D WRITTEN BLOW THIS POINT WAS DELETED BY AN AUTOSAVE ATTEMPT. I’M NOT SURE I’LL REMEMBER EVERYTHING I’D PREVIOUSLY TYPED.]
Unfortunately, the world has been conditioned to believe in mythology. From our earliest forms of existence, humanity has looked to myths and legends to explain what was unexplainable. When the mythologies of one group conflicted with the mythologies of another group then they fought each other for dominance. This backward and unreasonable means of justifying violence against each other has been part of our teaching for so long that we can’t imagine what reality is without them. We’ve allowed mythology to determine our ideas of governance, community, justice, personal responsibility, and medicine. We are so far removed from reality that many are unable to recognize it when its harshness slaps them in the face.
Here’s some reality for you. God is not love. Love is love. Love does not require a sacrifice. Love does not come from any third party. Love does not condemn one to eternal punishment. Love is not eternal. Love is not conditional. No deity is going to grow your crops more abundantly. No deity is going to deny you rain based on your faithfulness. The only ‘race’ is human. There are more than two genders. Earth is not the center of the universe. The universe is expanding more rapidly than we ever thought. Creation does not have an endpoint. This is just a touch of all the mythologies that reality has to dismantle.
Ingrained mythologies cause us to have a warped sense of morality. I found this present in an opinion piece in the New York Times that attempts to argue against vigilante justice. The author’s premise is that murder is always wrong. Therefore, if the person who killed an insurance CEO murdered that individual, then what they did was immoral. This is a mythology-based argument, though, that goes back to the Code of Hammurabi, circa 1750 BCE. That is where the whole “thou shall not commit murder” thing originated.
There are some problems with this form of thought. First, Luigi Mangione is being charged with second-degree murder. If we can assign varying degrees of murder, then not all murder is the same which allows for some forms of killing to not be murder. The School of Law at Cornell University defines second-degree murder as “typically murder with malicious intent but not premeditated. The mens rea of the defendant is intent to kill, intent to inflict serious bodily harm, or act with an abandoned heart (e.g., reckless conduct lacking concern for human life or having a high risk of death).” This requires a judge or jury to imply a state of mind on the part of the defendant even if there is no confession to the act. I’m sorry, but who among you is a mind reader of thoughts that have already passed? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Secondly, if murder is always wrong, then how do we justify war? Is not war nothing more than the corporate murder of one people group for the alleged benefit of another people group? How is killing one person immoral but killing hundreds or thousands of people, such as those in Gaza or Ukraine not grotesquely more immorally murderous than a single death? If we are going to justify the greater loss of life then how do we not justify the individual loss of life? There has to be a balance here or everything is meaningless.
Article 3 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that “Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.” Embracing human rights at this level requires setting aside mythology. The origin of life is no longer debatable because it is irrelevant. Everyone has the right to life. By definition, that means you have the right to breathe in and out. Everyone has the right to liberty, to be free of all incumbrance, servitude, or involuntary subjugation. Everyone has the right to ‘security of person,’ to not live under the threat of pain or death for any reason.
Putting a bullet through someone’s head violates their right to life. Denying a person necessary and appropriate medical care violates their ‘security of person.’ Which is worse? Are they not both equal? What about the encumbrance of debt from medical care? Certainly, that violates one’s right to liberty, does it not? Therefore, if ending the life of one prevents that one from ending, by proxy, the lives of thousands, is that not an acceptable outcome? Or, are we willing to charge both with murder? If Congress cuts funding for poor and elderly people, resulting in the deaths of those people, is not Congress also guilty of murder? If a president sends the army off to do battle, is not the blood of everyone killed on the hands of that president?
Mythology has led us to a grotesque and ill-formed illusion of individuality. The one is not greater, nor more valuable than the whole. There are no ‘bootstraps’ by which one must pull themselves up. We are now, as always, reliant on community. From the beginning of time, women have helped other women deliver their babies and care for their young. From the beginning of time, food was shared with those who needed it with no cost imposed on anyone. From the beginning of time, humankind has relied on the community to provide safety, shelter, and clothing. Humanity is not a collection of individuals, for individuals on their own cannot sustain life beyond themselves. Community is requisite for the propagation of the species.
I have grown tired of hearing people, including the president, state that “violence is not American.” Bullshit. From the moment the first Europeans set foot on this continent, violence has been at the heart of their actions and philosophies because of their belief in mythologies. Mythologies told them that the indigenous people were “savages” that needed to be exterminated. Mythologies told them that people of color were not human and could therefore be rightfully enslaved. The American Revolution required the justification of violence against troops representing King George III. For our entire existence, we have lurched from war to war, relying on it to shore up our economy and further our dominance over others. Violence is American.
Mythology leads us to believe that our system of checks and balances is sufficient to ensure justice. Yet, corruption has been present from the very beginning. That system of checks and balances becomes inept as each branch of government passes and enforces laws that further enshrine the powers of the others. Should “we the people” object to the crimes of government, punishment for such is too cumbersome, timely, costly, and unwieldy to yield any effect. There is no justice for those harmed by the actions of this government or any other. There is no justice for those harmed by the actions of corporations or the oligarchs they create.
Void of justice, what choice does one have but to commit acts of violence in order to protect the life, liberty, and security of person for us all? Do we dare claim that one’s good deeds outweigh the lives they’ve taken? How do we justify prosecuting the crimes of one when we ignore the more numerous crimes of others?
If we are going to survive as a people, we must accept the fact that in the absence of justice, violence against the unjust becomes necessary. Giving insurance companies the right to deny care for others is patently unjust. Giving the government the ability to remove funding for or add barriers to healthcare is inherently unjust. Allowing police to kill without justification is uniquely unjust.
If we cannot have justice, then we must embrace violence to protect our lives, our liberty, and our sense of person.
Don’t argue with me until you’ve brought me more coffee. And food. I’m not in the fucking mood.
The bed was crowded this morning. Queen Bit, licking at my hair, woke me five minutes before the alarm. Solaris was on my head. Gabby was in my lap. Frankie, the smashed-face wheezer kitty, was on my feet. Both dogs were at my side, snuggled in close. Kat had Fat Guy and Kronk snuggling with her. Hunger was the only motivator for anyone to move. Once I’m up, the cats know food is coming next.
Once the cats are fed, it’s time to take the dogs out. Hamilton prances impatiently as I get dressed. He doesn’t understand that with a windchill of 0, I need a fleece below the twenty-pound overcoat. Putting on the coat is a little painful this morning. Once we’re outside, though, I’m glad I have it. The wind blows from the Northwest, pushing the fur from the collar onto my face. The ground crunches beneath each step. Hamilton loves the cold and does a couple of quick laps around the yard. Belvedere does what he came to do and then returns to my side, anxious to go back indoors. A gust of wind tries to take the hat off my head.
With the dogs fed and coffee in hand, I sit down and wake up the computer. A number of AP alerts pop up from overnight. Biden pardons 1,500. Time selects a demon as its Person of the Year. North Carolina seals a five-year deal with Bill Belichick. Hannah Kobayashi is found safe. The importance of any story depends on what one has at stake. Are you harmed? Are you threatened? Do you benefit?
A shooter arrested for killing a CEO fights extradition. Is he a hero? Do insurance workers have a reason to be afraid? Opinions try to keep some balance on the highwire of morality. The demonization of insurance companies comes easily. Yet, it is legislatures that deal the most damage. Indiana state code could threaten health coverage for 754,000 Hoosiers. Yes, we are included in that number. The US House passed a defense bill that denies coverage for transgender minors. We have friends who are affected.
Meanwhile, CEOs are tripping. Literally. They’re high as fuck.
If killing one CEO strikes fear into the insurance industry, what might it take to deliver the same level of fear to Congress? We complain about insurance companies, and rightfully so, but the solution of Universal Healthcare has to come from the idiots you elected to Congress and the bunch being seated in January isn’t likely to be cooperative on the subject without some motivation. Is targeted violence an answer? Nothing else has worked. We need to look carefully at the options.
Putting this update together is being complicated and painful. I’m sure I’ve seen a story this morning about rising cancer costs, but I can’t find it. That happens a lot. My head still hurts, focus and memory are shakey at best. I sit here struggling with what to write.
Do I care that more teens are looking at porn? Only to the extent that what they’re watching tends to be more violent. When parents fail to provide honest answers and never have reasonable conversations about sex, then yeah, kids are going to look to porn for that information. Teens have questions but they’re finding adults don’t have answers. Want a better outcome? Provide a better resource.
Totally unrelated to anything, the National Labor Relations Board has ruled that reality TV contestants are technically employees. Yeah, that’s going to affect what we see next year.
If you came here from Facebook, you may want to be aware that Meta, FB’s parent company, donated $1 million to the Felon’s inauguration. Google+, where are you when we need you?
Another alert pops up, this time from the bank. They’re insisting that I need to put $186 in my account to bring the balance to $0. The only thing I can do about that is this: Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter. CashApp: $ciletbetter. Other than that, I’m just screwed until the first of the year.
The animals have all settled down for their morning nap. I need some hot cereal and my meds. That means I should stop typing now.
Is this even useful to anyone? I wonder. Maybe I’m just typing words.
-$135. Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter. CashApp: $ciletbetter. Thank you.
Run with me
As we race
Against my brain
While cats stare
At damage
They caused.
Books scattered
Screen pushed
Glasses dumped
Popcorn spilled
Dog pooped
Trash eaten.
Run with me
Grab coffee
Feel the spin
Find a chair
Cat in lap
Dogs in bed.
Government calls
Gets info wrong
Mom’s big fear
Being tracked
Is now real
No retreat.
Run with me
From the world
Bullets fly
Who’s the victim
Russian email
Highway demise.
Dreamers denied
Abuse rampant
Your young child
My young daughter
Are never safe
No matter what.
Run with me
Into the snow
Feel the cold
In your bones
Hear that boom?
The sky falls.
Fetch the mail
Pay the bills
Grace passes
Deficit
No spending
Just more stress.
Run with me
Window glows
Sirens scream
At midnight
Am I dead?
Help passes.
Blizzard dreams
In my sleep
My phone melts
Kat arrives
Head for home
Where’s the road?
Run with me
Grab coffee
Solve puzzles
Eat your food
Take your meds
Sleep for now.
Grace. The bank is giving us 24 hours to cover the now $85 deficit in the account. Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter. CashApp: $ciletbetter. Thank you for any help you can give.
Sleep. I seem unable to keep my eyes open and my brain functioning. My chest tightens, my head hurts, and my eyes lose focus. Caffeine has no effect. I sit and stare at nothing for minutes at a time. I stumble over cats on the floor. Any appearance of coherence is a momentary illusion.
Birthright. The dumpster fire that is our president-elect wants to eliminate birthright citizenship enshrined by the 14th Amendment. This is no slippery slope. This is destroying the dam. If one can be denied citizenship, all may face the same fate. If one is not a citizen where they are born, do they have citizenship anywhere? Shadows of 1938 Germany are looming large.
Literature has lost a contemporary titan. Nikki Giovani has died at the age of 81. “This country is a land mass that could be called anything, and for people to act like this is some kind of sacred territory is an insanity,” she wrote. She also warned, “The tragic loneliness black women consistently face as we stand before judgmental others—sometimes white, but sometimes black; sometimes male, but sometimes female—demands that we have some wisdom, experience, and some passion with which to combat this abuse.” May the resonance of her voice never fade.
Football’s two worst teams met on Monday night and were “Simpson-ified” as Disney/ESPN/ABC played with near real-time animation of the players. Homer threw a touchdown in the first quarter. Players drank at Moe’s juicestand. Plopper (the pig) became the football in the fourth quarter. The game itself was so laughable that it was frequently difficult to tell the difference between the real events and prepared bits. The ending looked like something Matt Groening himself might have written. I only know from watching highlights. I went to bed well before the half.
Monday morning, crisis check. Thinking back to the brief time I spent in the C suite, Monday morning came with a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. Reports were gathered. Metrics were checked. Progress factored. We met at 11:00 over lunch. Numbers were totaled. Projections confirmed. Consequences addressed. The staff would be told on Tuesday.
Were I to perform the same checks and balances on the world this morning, the results would show that we have a crisis; specifically, a crisis of leadership. The United States. Syria. South Korea. Europe. Israel. Haiti. The planet. The compiled bullet points for the presentation would be:
Try choking that down with a dry sandwich and a weak soda. Pass the Scotch.
We have walked ourselves into a global oligarchy run by billionaires. Billionaires are inherently corrupt and bad governors. They cannot comprehend your concerns. Looking at the world through charts and graphs, they don’t see how their policies affect lives outside their elite peer group. When challenged, their defense is, “You voted for this.”
I see little stomach for protests. In his essay “A Poem of Difficult Hope,” which appears in his book “What Are People For,” Kentucky naturalist Wendell Berry argues that the success of any protest should not be measured by whether it changes the world in the way we hope it will.
“Much protest is naïve; it expects quick, visible improvement and despairs and gives up when such improvement does not come,” he wrote in 1990. “If protest depended on success, there would be little protest of any durability or significance. History simply affords too little evidence that anyone’s individual protest is of any use. Protest that endures, I think, is moved by a hope far more modest than that of public success: namely, the hope of preserving qualities in one’s own heart and spirit that would be destroyed by acquiescence.”
I’m not sure I buy this “save yourself” attitude. Others are. There are no massive marches planned. My newsfeed and emails all say, “We’re going to fight them in court.” What good is that if the courts themselves are corrupted? Have you looked at the Supreme Court lately?
What oligarchs understand is money. Finance is where the battle is fought. Switching investments from the stock market to bonds could offset bad economic plans. Organized national work stoppages, like those being utilized by VW workers in Germany, cause oligarchs to panic. We hold power that we’ve yet to test. Senate confirms a bad appointee? We don’t work the next day. Just one day. Tariffs cause prices to skyrocket? We stop buying. Just one week. The effects would be immediate and stunning.
Having the power doesn’t mean we have the will. Can we tell ourselves ‘no?’ Can we hold back on our holiday spending? Can we stay home instead of eating out? Can we cook instead of ordering takeout? Can we make last year’s coats and sweaters last another season? Can we put off buying a newer vehicle?
As I’m typing, I received an alert from my bank. Overdraft -$65. Not buying just got very easy. There are no presents to hand out. The food that we have will last until January. We will endure. Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter. CashApp: $ciletbetter.
No crisis comes with an easy or painless solution. Progress requires more than sheer determination. Tell me when you’re ready to proceed. You’ll find me at the coffee pot.
Listen carefully to the sounds around the world. Syria’s al-Assad has disappeared. A 50-year dynasty has been deposed. What began with “Arab Spring” ended with over 500,000 dead. Some celebrate—some mourn. Others worry. Will terrorism return? Who has control of chemical weapons? Where are the Kurds? What happens to foreign bases? Humanity excels at creating complex situations and problems that are not easily solved. For all the wars and conflicts, we remain our own worst enemy.
Step away. Ignore the world and read. Spend more time in critical thought. Let the words sink deep. Mull the choice of vocabulary. Consider the implications. Parse what can be taken at face value from that which hides deeper meaning. Expand the ways you see the world.
Step away. Arm yourself with a fresh view of history. Read the books others want banned, even if you’ve read them before. Force yourself to answer the tough questions. Open more than one text at a time so that the brain in your head does not get lazy. Push your mind into unfamiliar territory. Glean wisdom from sources you’ve never known.
Step away. Give yourself time to think. Write down your thoughts. Wrestle with the words. Scratch out that last sentence and try again. Do not type with speed. Question yourself. Argue against your opinions. Let no conclusion go untested. Check the influence of your native biases. Give no ground to the mythologies of your youth.
Refill the coffee mug. The dogs that woke early now rest comfortably on the bed. Thoughts bombard my head, each fighting to be heard. What does it matter that the Eras tour has ended? What are the consequences of old shoes selling for $28 million? Fools part with money even as their own cupboards grow bare. The songs that linger now are those sung long ago. Cherished memories leave no souvenirs.
Age colours my vision. Depth of field is set by my experience. I wander. Is that the ticking of the clock or the sound of my boots as I pace the hallway? How many circles can I make before my legs collapse? I would dance but the music changes too quickly.
No one is well. We struggle to breathe. Moving brings us pain. Eating makes us ill. Medicine numbs us to the cancer that eats at our bodies. We sympathize. We empathize. Yet, we cannot help ourselves let alone give aid to others. We need… so much.
Spin around one last time. Step away.
Hold me. Close.
Breakfast was being served: coffee and eggs. Some anticipated going dancing, while others discussed last night’s date. It was a normal Sunday morning, until it wasn’t—7:45 AM. Some say the President knew. Some say there had been warnings. Sailors were caught by surprise. Chaos ensued.
49 Nakajima B5N Kate bombers armed with 800 kg (1760 lb) armor-piercing bombs. 40 B5N bombers armed with Type 91 torpedoes. 51 Aichi D3A Val dive bombers armed with 550 lb (249 kg) general-purpose bombs. 43 Mitsubishi A6M “Zero” fighters for air control and strafing. Early forms of radar couldn’t tell the difference. No one sounded a warning.
More than 3,500 military and civilian casualties. 900 bodies remain entombed on the USS Arizona. “A day that will live in infamy,” the President said. Only 16 who were there are still living.
Ask the nearest teenager if they know the significance of this day. I asked mine, one of the smartest kids I know. He didn’t have a clue. He’s not alone. We’ve forgotten what it’s truly like to be at war against fascism. We’ve forgotten the toll the war took on the entire world. Too many still deny the reality. Too many want to bring fascism back.
For decades after, we remained obsessed with the topic of war. Movies from Casablanca to Schindler’s List recounted the many ways the war turned relationships on their ears, gave rise to the question of who to trust, and reminded us of the horrors of evil. We watched with rapt attention. We vowed to never let it happen again.
Then, we elected fascism to the White House. We’ve given the enemy control. The talk is now of tariffs, with no understanding that Japan’s attack on Pearl Harbor was in retaliation for US sanctions. We think we’re too big to be at risk. So did every soldier, sailor, and Marine who died on this day. We will never be too big. We can always be brought to our knees.
Under the guise of “freedom,” we now have apps that facilitate mothers abusing children for those who like to watch. The assassination of an oligarch yields both rage and glee. We involve ourselves in affairs as though we have a moral imperative while our choices of leaders reach new lows of immorality and inhumanity.
The men and women who died at Pearl Harbor on this day in 1941 perished in vain if we do not maintain a country that stands against fascism. We’ve lost the meaning of their sacrifice if we allow a felon and his oligarchs to feast on those who are poor, immigrant, and LGBTQIA+. We have no dignity as a nation if we do not recognize the obligation we have to protect the country and the world against hate.
The infamy of this date continues. Remember Pearl Harbor. Remember the souls lost. Remember your responsibility.
Who deserves forgiveness? Who deserves protection? Why is Leonard Peltier still not on the list of those who may be pardoned? Your screams have been heard. Changes were made. Yet, are you any safer than you were at this time yesterday? What is the true benefit of being angry? If anger is the only thing that motivates us, do we genuinely care about the status of life or only the things that threaten us directly? If our motivations are not pure, then our actions are immoral. Still, we continue.
Vic saw the doctor yesterday and the patch was removed from his eye, leaving a shiner that might give some the impression that his long-suffering wife, Martha, clocked him. I told him it reminded me of the old Tareyton cigarette slogan: “I’d rather fight than switch.” You’ll need to be really old to understand why that’s funny. He’s still face-down until Sunday morning, too uncomfortable to sleep.
Oceans rise. Empires fall. Women struggle through it all. Children die—anger flares. Fear of chaos is everywhere. Do we care? I’m not sure we have the capacity. Who is not overwhelmed when considering the ills the world faces? There are limits in our willingness to fight for someone else’s life. Our own troubles are more than enough.
My bills exceed my income. To whom do I complain? I struggle with the morality of whether to ask for help. That doesn’t stop me from typing, Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter, CashApp: $ciletbetter. G brought me a form this morning to help with Xmas presents for the kids. They’ll be the boxes under the tree we don’t have. Cats and indoor trees don’t mix well. The dogs would be confused.
Perhaps, sometimes, it is better to do without. Are we eating too much chicken? Are we eating too much of everything? We are still the most obese nation in the world. We have difficulty saying ‘no’ to the grumble in our stomachs. A re-evaluation of what we spend on groceries may be appropriate.
As thousands travel to Indy this weekend, our patience will almost certainly be tested. Roads closed. Dining places are full. In return, money is spent, jobs are created. Is the tradeoff worth the trouble? Ask the one whose job depends on the crowd.
My head hurts. My eyes blur. There’s garbage to take out. I need more coffee.
I still love you. I still care.
Wind does not whistle past my window; it trumpets, screams, and roars. Feral cats scurry for cover. Random debris blows across the yard. Each gust feels like ice. One coat is not enough. Sending children off to school in such cold feels like cruelty. ‘When I was a kid’ does not apply here. This is different weather. This is a new existence. Check in at the nearest heating vent, pull a blanket over your head, and sleep.
Vic’s surgery was “difficult but successful.” He is back home but doesn’t seem to be able to relax. The face-down position he’s supposed to maintain is not comfortable. He has to be that way until at least Saturday. He sees the doctor again today. His situation reminds us of our father’s struggles.
You say you want a Revolution Well, you know We all wanna change the world You tell me that it's evolution Well, you know We all wanna change the world But when you talk about destruction Don't you know that you can count me out You say you got a real solution Well, you know We'd all love to see the plan You ask me for a contribution Well, you know We are doing what we can But if you want money for people with minds that hate All I can tell you is brother you have to wait You say you'll change the constitution Well, you know We all want to change your head You tell me it's the institution Well, you know You'd better free your mind instead But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Is this 1968 all over again? We dismissed Lennon’s words the first time around. Revolution never came. The Constitution never changed. No one had a real solution. I hear the voices screaming in anger, but anger alone makes nothing better. Assassinating a CEO does not give anyone better healthcare. Shooting at helpless children does not remove the stain of religion. Committing acts of genocide does not justify one’s position.
Screaming about how bad things are going to be does nothing to stop ‘things’ from being bad. We all want to see a plan. Others have a plan. Where is ours? Who is going to lead? Who is going to stand at the front of the line and announce the charge? Be sure, the enemy has a plan; they’ve shown it to us. Over half of us voted for their plan. This is their revolution.
Even the best and most elaborate plans fail. People still die of hunger. Young men are still asked to give their lives. The least of us still struggle to survive. If you say you want justice, you must first show mercy. If you say you want peace, you must first show compassion. One does not merely speak change into being. One must act. Two must act. Together, we must all act. A movement of music might lead everyone to sing, but what motivates us to march?
Milking the cow is messy. The price of coffee continues to rise. Who decides if we should die?
A beautiful building does not make the mythology real. A paper report does not return lives lost to injustice.
Words are merely interruptions in the quiet of nature. What have you accomplished in sharing your memes? Whose life is improved when you express your outrage? We are not prepared to change anything if we are not comfortable with the sacrifices required. Would the Franks be welcome in your home? Would you destroy the infrastructure of the oligarchy if it meant no streaming service?
Do not give me more words. The noise in my head is already too great a burden to bear. Show me your action, your compassion, and your mercy.
Today is a good day to find your emotionally safe place and stay there. Much of the news one is likely to encounter may be negative, and even frightening. Not everything directly affects you, but what does can cause us to feel threatened or frightened for those we love. What we see is that the entire world is in tumult right now. Even those who had considered fleeing trouble at home are now pondering the ramifications of returning. Is there anyone whose life is stable? Can one quell this rising angst?
Today is an important surgery day for my younger brother, Victor. He has a Full Thickness Muscular Hole in his right eye. The surgery won’t “fix” the problem but will hopefully keep it from getting any worse. Post-op requires remaining face-down for some period of time. Appropriate furniture for facilitating this need arrived last week. His long-suffering wife, Martha, will do her best to care for him, but this will not be an easy moment for either of them. Vision lost may never return. Our hopes are for a successful and uneventful surgery.
Life comes with threats and risks; some we control while others control us. Even something seemingly as inconsequential as walking around barefoot may cause us trouble. I would remind you that you have already overcome many obstacles that seemed insurmountable at the moment they were encountered. Learning to roll over in your crib was monumental, as was learning to crawl and then walk. Slowly, you learned to speak, to communicate, and then to use your words as a defense against things you did not like. You went to school and survived maneuvering social situations whose etiquette and instruction only seemed to come after having already done something wrong. You studied subjects that seemed to make no sense. You passed tests that threatened to defeat you. Life is partially defined by the things that threaten us the most. Yet, here you are, still breathing, still fighting, and still doing your best.
Remember, this is December. Of all the arguments made for and against this or that, few decisions will be voiced. Resist the urge to borrow trouble from the future, for that trouble may well decide to withdraw itself from consideration. Being ready to defend does not require keeping one’s finger on the trigger. Those who are wise know to rest, to eat well, and to enjoy time with the things you love. Save the fight for when it is needed for those who tilt too often at windmills are not ready when the real enemy is revealed.
May you find comfort to ease your pain. May you have coffee to keep you warm. May your day be filled with the embrace of those who love you.
A lot of snow is not required for lives to be endangered. Temperatures keep us huddled next to anything or anyone who is warm. Apologies were necessary as staples ordered while the sun was shining had to be delivered in negative conditions. Questions linger this morning with the possibility that buses will not deliver the kids to school on time.
While sitting in a waiting room, my coat and hat still in place, a man approached, distracted by my appearance. Standing before me, he said, “I just wanted to get a good look at you.” He took a seat nearby and continued. “Your look, it’s … what’s the word… ‘legendary?’ No, more like… ‘iconic.’ That’s it, you’re totally iconic.” A nurse called his name as I questioned the man’s mental condition. What are the motives behind compliments to strangers? Politics have taught us to question the subtext of the most simple and generous statements. Kind words are approached with suspicion. Our level of trust in fellow humans grows thin.
Actions speak volumes above words. Where one goes, what one does, shows more than character. What is one’s purpose? What motivates a soul to put their interests above others? Words can be a distraction. Actions tell no lies. Threats of what one might do are empty. Look instead at the steps they take, the people they hold close, and the rules they break. Do not stand so close as to become a victim of the shrapnel from other people’s lives.
Still, the words we choose are a reflection of our society. ‘Brain rot’ has become something more than a medical issue. Such language threatens to become a tool of racism. Vocabularies such as demure, slop, dynamic pricing, romantasy, and lore shape the context of who we are, the values we hold, and how one perceives their world. I question whether we weigh the weight of our words before we speak. Even when we fling terms and threats around with no regard, they can still cause damage when they land.
So many thoughts are filling my brain, yet few are worth the pain of typing. Time passes. Whether the page is made of paper or pixels, I still stare at the blankness and question how to fill it. Sometimes life is the same. How one chooses to fill the blank pages of their lives reveals their reality and the flaws of their mortality.
Sitting on my desk is a book I’ve yet to start that ultimately deals with the reality of the author’s death. I pick it up, open the cover, and then return it to the place on my desk from where it beckons to be read. Do I want to open myself to this conversation? Will pondering mortality shape my future reality?
There are cats demanding petting. There are meds waiting to be taken. There are naps hoping to be embraced. I do not care if the snow melts. I am here. I am warm. I do not long to wander.
With great thanks to all those who wished us well yesterday, we move forward into a new week that seems bound to substitute cacophony for content. Yes, a father pardoned a son. For all the screams and howls, the pedantic protests are superfluous. Empty rhetoric carries no consequence. There is no power in a 100-day agenda, either. Rules must still be followed. There is no penalty for time taken. Media desperate for eye-catching headlines stoke fear where there is no danger.
Take a moment. Breathe. We’ve wound our emotions so tightly that we’re ruining the things that should bring pleasure. People have gotten hurt. Fines are being levied. If the loss of a game adversely affects one’s life, does not the consequence belong to you, not the team? Media encourages putting money at risk, but your hands place the bet. The money you lose profits those already rich. Better we watch the games in silence than bring ourselves to hatred and poverty.
Worry gets us nowhere. Already, natural elements fight against the empty threats of a blithering fool. Tree workers with chainsaws are more dangerous to your grandparents than most political threats. Snow threatens more lives than do meaningless embassy appointments. Most of us choose the content our eyes see. If we choose to linger among the purveyors of fear then we create for ourselves an environment of concern. Can we not peruse information elsewhere? Are there no books that need to be read? Solutions are seldom found on a web page.
December offers too many alternatives to fear. Art installations are almost everywhere this time of year. Whose heart is not buoyed by spending time with pieces of beauty? Networks do their best to shove elements of peace and goodwill at us whether we observe a holiday or not. After spending more than $10 billion on Friday, Shoppers are likely to set another record today. Need support? Here, buy this bra. If all you do is sit at home and worry, there is no one to blame for your angst but yourself.
Even as we look toward the new year, perhaps the best response to all the drama is to take an art class. It may well add another seven years to your life. At least, Jane Fonda thinks so. Yesterday’s video is included for your benefit.
Getting older doesn’t mean dreams age, either. Thinking one is 18 again, attending a prom that never happened, fortunate that the vomit wasn’t real, and neither was the rejection, shows how flexible our minds can be.
Although, thinking I’m being kissed passes from joy to disappointment when I wake and find that it is only Solaris nibbling at my face, wanting food.
There are reasons to smile today. Look away from your screen and you may find them.
Today is my birthday, Happy Birthday to ME! I see no reason to be quiet; I fought hard to get this far. Others did not make it. Some survived but not as well. Two years of chemo have slowed my pace and limited my actions, but I am still here. I am still fighting for my existence and that of the rest of the world. There is no reason to not rejoice, nor is there a reason for you to not join me. Grab a piece of pie and some coffee.
Fourteen years have passed since this day was so cold. This year, I am safe, warm, and loved. Whether I am well might be a matter of intense conversation but at this moment, I am surrounded by the animals that love me and trust me enough to sleep without worry. Children sleep in adjacent rooms, their only concern being that I not wake them before the sun rises. My mug is full of hot coffee. Choices for food are substantial. We are blessed with reasons to be happy and obligated by the universe to celebrate this trip around the sun.
Today, there will be music. Today, there will be laughter. Today, I set the course for the coming journey. I don’t worry about the weather for I have endured its trials before. Winds blow, rain and snow fall, and they let no one deter their path. Yet, there is no reason to be deterred. What has passed prepares us for what is to come. We move forward with determination and a smile, or at least a wry grin. There are still cards in my deck that I have not shown. I will not set my rudder to retreat.
Do not attempt to plant your flag on my soil for I am not defeated. I may not win on every battlefield, but you embarrass yourself if you think I am conquered. Plant your flags on your own houses so that we might know and avoid your foolishness. I am not obligated to tolerate willful ignorance. I am not subjugated by your loud rhetoric. There is no reason for me to listen to or be distracted by that which holds nothing good for humanity. Today, I refuse to accept the negative energy of contrary bigots and criminal apologists.
Not everyone gets the opportunities I am given. My privilege requires that stand for those who are injured by the stupidity and blindness of those who cannot see beyond the horizon of their own ignorance. Today has a history of taking a seat when told to stand, holding firm when told to move. The rights of humanity are not subject to political dogma or religious opinion. We walked with those different from us long before empty-minded leaders created the quarrel. Those who stand in the way of our progress are trampled under the boots of history.
Today, I read so that tomorrow I might speak. Today, I learn so that tomorrow I might teach. Yet, what shall I read and what shall I learn? Wisdom is found in the struggle of others for even death is not the victor that it claims to be. What if this is the last day I feel as good as I do now? Inevitably, there is someday in the future when I will not awaken. Yet, I do not let the fear of that day keep me from living this moment and doing with it what brings me joy and understanding. Today, I am in control of me. Today, I am powerful. Today, I am strong.
Perhaps, today, I will visit a bookstore. Perhaps, today, I will watch football. Perhaps, today, I will take a nap when I please. Perhaps, today, you will join me; if not here, then there. Participation options include but are not limited to Venmo: @C_I_Letbetter and CashApp: $ciletbetter. Or, perhaps, today, you will bring me coffee and a biscuit along with your smile. Bring the joy that lives inside you. Celebrate with me.
Today is MY birthday. Happy Birthday to me!
Friday Morning Update: 12/20/24
Nothing is quite as cruel a wake-up as stepping outside to the pain of frozen water hitting one’s face. We didn’t get snow, we got ‘mix.’ The result was a morning outside that was so uncomfortable that Hamilton even wanted to go back indoors. I could have slept had I remembered that neither teen has school today. Once I’m up, though, it’s too late. The cats have high expectations of me. The dogs don’t understand why it takes so long for me to get ready. The slower I move, the more noise they make. I’m pretty sure everyone was awake by the time the dogs were fed.
I’m trying to prepare for a possible government shutdown and the delay of social security checks. The problem is that the checking account is negative (again) and social security is the only thing I have coming in. Do I take out a short-term loan? What happens if the government stays shut down past January 1? And yes, I’m blaming the billionaires. I’m thinking we need more heroes like Luigi Mangione, only take out billionaires involved in politics.
The government isn’t the only thing shutting down. There are strikes at Amazon facilities. Starbucks employees are striking today in Chicago, LA, and Seattle. If an agreement isn’t reached quickly, hundreds of stores could be closed by Christmas Eve. What’s interesting is that a record number of people are expected to travel for the holidays. The catch: Air Traffic Controllers, you know, the folks responsible for getting your airplane up and down safely, are federal civil employees. TSA agents are treated like cops and still work even in a shutdown, but Air Traffic Controllers are limited and if funding isn’t found quickly, they may not be working by the time everyone starts heading for home. If you have guests coming to your place, you might want to prepare for them to stay a few days extra.
At least the kids’ holiday trinkets are secured. Thanks to a local charity, I was able to pick up new gloves, hats, socks, and other donated items. I’m not sure how they’ll feel about the ‘toys’ that are included, and all the books available were well below their reading level. Still, I appreciate the effort and sacrifice of time from those who made it all possible. I’d be hitting the day empty-handed otherwise.
Everything feels really dark this morning. The trash needs to go out. I need more coffee. Life continues.
For now.
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